April 22, 2025 • 28 mins
A comedy-variety show featuring the titular comedian's array of characters and sketches, delivering laughter through slapstick and satire. The show's humor appeals to a broad audience.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
I think I'll go ho.
Speaker 2 (00:00):
Hey, yeah, Red, all right, we've got a few seconds.
Why don't you recite that little limerick about Tide.
Speaker 1 (00:05):
We'll get.
Speaker 3 (00:08):
I is your boxing Tide Their particlech had better hide
of course.
Speaker 1 (00:12):
Ring eye shout, I didn't do it.
Speaker 4 (00:15):
Shout it's the truth.
Speaker 1 (00:16):
And you can use me with pride, you know.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
Yeah from Hollywood Broughtrian Gampbell's Tie, the largest selling washtay
product in America, proudly presents the Red Skelton Program with
Red Skelton, David Rows, his orchestra singing stars, the Four Knights,
(00:43):
Rain Tuttle, Pat McGee and Dick Ryan, Martha Wentworth and
John Holbrook will.
Speaker 1 (00:47):
Be me Rob O'Connor.
Speaker 2 (00:56):
Just because he works for MGM as a star clown
and has brought to you my Procter and gamble doesn't
mean he's so different when it comes to buying insurance,
even if he is Red Skelting.
Speaker 3 (01:14):
Now, as I was saying, this policy pays double if
you die a natural debt, Well, what do.
Speaker 1 (01:19):
You classify a natural death? Out here? Hit by a
drunke driver? Is that? Oh?
Speaker 3 (01:24):
We're starting off with a bang, now, you know, I
don't think I need any insurance.
Speaker 1 (01:29):
I wish that joke heads. I'm I'd bury it right.
I feel wonderful. I don't need any insurance. I do
have a little heartburn down then a heartburn?
Speaker 5 (01:40):
Well? How are you fixed for fire insurance?
Speaker 1 (01:46):
How would you like to go? Rinse out a few things? Now?
Speaker 3 (01:51):
If you just answer a couple of questions, we'll be
all finished here.
Speaker 5 (01:54):
First, God, is your full name?
Speaker 1 (01:55):
Red Skelton? That's full or sober.
Speaker 4 (02:00):
Name?
Speaker 1 (02:00):
Richard red skilt?
Speaker 5 (02:01):
He wrote, Richard.
Speaker 3 (02:02):
All right now, Richard, wait a minute. Everybody calls me Rare.
I prefer to call you Richard. Look, Hercules, you call
me Rader. There's going to be another death of a
salesman around here.
Speaker 5 (02:15):
Very well, where were you born?
Speaker 3 (02:17):
I was born in Vincennes, Indiana. In fact, I'm planning
on going back there twenty six years ago. I left
vincenze's a barefooted boy.
Speaker 5 (02:25):
But are you going back for your shoes?
Speaker 1 (02:33):
How would you like to turn blue?
Speaker 5 (02:36):
You have an awful tempa, Richard.
Speaker 1 (02:38):
Look, I told you to call me Red.
Speaker 5 (02:39):
Go on strike me. I have double indemnity.
Speaker 3 (02:45):
Look, why do you why don't you get some insurance
to cover that hole in your head?
Speaker 1 (02:50):
Boy, please please.
Speaker 3 (02:52):
One of the questions is profession.
Speaker 5 (02:54):
Are you a plumber?
Speaker 3 (02:55):
No, I'm not a plumber. Are you positive? I swear
you fick fix the leaky? Also to find one time, Richard.
Speaker 1 (03:02):
If I had I would have never let a drip
like you run loose.
Speaker 5 (03:08):
Well, here's your papers. Now.
Speaker 3 (03:10):
All you have to do is get a physical checkout
from our doctor and then we can tell if you
qualify for a policy or not. Well, I am in
perfect physical condition. Look look at my chest, Look at
those shoulders, look at them arms.
Speaker 1 (03:20):
I'm not so fast.
Speaker 3 (03:21):
I'm still trying to find your chest.
Speaker 1 (03:25):
Okay, I'll go get a physical.
Speaker 6 (03:26):
Well.
Speaker 5 (03:27):
I hope you can pass you well. I hate to
cheat the company this way. Well, happy blood pressure, Richard,
and an open.
Speaker 4 (03:35):
Man hole for you, scout. Did you call me?
Speaker 3 (03:52):
No, mister Fred, You've probably got your hearing aid or
short wave again.
Speaker 1 (03:57):
What have you been.
Speaker 3 (03:58):
Doing, Sirail, I've been trying those new cold tablet you know,
you know the kind.
Speaker 4 (04:04):
That stops cold before it starts.
Speaker 1 (04:06):
Oh they do?
Speaker 5 (04:07):
Huh?
Speaker 2 (04:07):
Did they?
Speaker 1 (04:08):
Did you get rid of your cold? Yes?
Speaker 3 (04:09):
Yes, I've been defrosting all day.
Speaker 1 (04:13):
You know you're a little loop form when you walk.
Speaker 7 (04:16):
Up, not mised the skeleton.
Speaker 4 (04:18):
Maybe you should try my cold tablet.
Speaker 1 (04:19):
But I don't have a cold.
Speaker 3 (04:21):
Oh that's okay, these pills were cured anyway. Look, don't
look now, mister, but.
Speaker 1 (04:27):
I think you've slipped your trolley again.
Speaker 4 (04:30):
That's a skeleton.
Speaker 1 (04:31):
Is that anyway to talk to your houseboy?
Speaker 5 (04:35):
Get a load of the boy.
Speaker 3 (04:38):
This guy saw the preview the birth of a nation.
Speaker 1 (04:42):
Beg he wrote for the doctor.
Speaker 3 (04:45):
This guy ready shook the tree for Adam, and need
to get the apple from this guy so old he
remembers that the writer who worked here, Baby, these jokes
had a job. Now this scouting, I think I'm pretty
lively for my age.
Speaker 6 (05:03):
Lively.
Speaker 3 (05:04):
Yesterday you went for a walk and a vulture followed
you with a tape.
Speaker 1 (05:06):
Mate. Well, somebody to the door.
Speaker 4 (05:09):
I'll get it, okay, higher skelting.
Speaker 3 (05:12):
Well if it isn't Procter and Gambles, answer to mount
with me.
Speaker 1 (05:15):
Go on in ol'connor.
Speaker 2 (05:18):
I just dropped by the collect that bet we made
in the Rose Bowl game.
Speaker 6 (05:21):
You ready to pay off?
Speaker 1 (05:22):
Yeah? The tides already in the washing machines. You bring
your laundry.
Speaker 6 (05:24):
Yes, it's right here. Say that was some rose ball game,
wasn't he.
Speaker 1 (05:28):
Yeah, that old hire Steak can really play football.
Speaker 2 (05:30):
Yeah, but California was at a disadvantage. They were so
busy trying to keep those smudgepots going they couldn't concentrate
on the game.
Speaker 6 (05:35):
Well, I wait, wait, wait, that's a joke. I told boy.
Speaker 1 (05:39):
Oh it was. Yes, we'll tell it again, Tell it again.
Speaker 2 (05:42):
I said, California was at a disadvantage. They had to
keep the smudgepots going.
Speaker 3 (05:50):
Well, told me when I don't want to step on anything, Hey,
I gotta go down to the medical building and get
an examination.
Speaker 5 (05:58):
Here's a light.
Speaker 1 (05:59):
It sounds like a need his name. I want to
come along, Yes I do.
Speaker 2 (06:09):
I want to.
Speaker 6 (06:10):
I want to see the.
Speaker 3 (06:10):
Doctor's face when he finds out the hair on your
chest is a two pay.
Speaker 1 (06:16):
Look, boy, don't laugh.
Speaker 3 (06:17):
I remember when you had a physical check up and
they had to jack up your stomach to tap your.
Speaker 2 (06:21):
Knee, and you know, it's not so funny.
Speaker 6 (06:25):
It's the first time I knew I had a knee.
Speaker 1 (06:28):
Before we go and get some exercise music on there.
Speaker 3 (06:31):
We'll get in shape a little turn the radio one wall,
and now we interrupt the commercials to bring you Dave
Roles in his orchestra. Day, we'll play a medley of
popular tunes by Ted Theorrido and his orchestra will play
anything that comes to their mind.
Speaker 8 (06:46):
I put music for push offs up.
Speaker 9 (09:43):
Here's a brand new Tide miracle. Now with Tide you
can get your war sparkling clean without rinsing. That's right,
the doctor and gambles Tide. You don't have to rinse.
Here's why. Tide gets the dirt out of pods and
keeps it suspended in the sudsy water. So when you
ring or spin dry clothes, the dirt goes out along
with the washwater. Your clothes come out clean, white, fresh.
(10:06):
They dry, soft and fluffy, iron easily smell sweet and clean. Yes,
I said clean. You know how clean. Tide has always
washed your clothes with rinsing, cleaner than any other washing
product you can buy. Now we want you to try
Tide without rinsing and compare the results. Why it's unbelievable
how bright, fresh and clean your clothes will be. And
(10:28):
think of the time and work. You say you can
cut your washed day work in half. Yes, it's another
new wash day miracle from Tide.
Speaker 5 (10:36):
Try it.
Speaker 9 (10:37):
Use tide and get your clothes really clean without rinsing.
Speaker 1 (10:42):
God how tide gets close?
Speaker 4 (10:46):
Iner, Then follow them t I d e Tide.
Speaker 3 (10:53):
Here's the medical buildings, you know. Run and now that
I'm here, I'm getting nervous.
Speaker 2 (10:57):
Oh, buck up, rad It's only a physical. Nothing can
happen to you.
Speaker 1 (11:00):
Nothing can happen. The last time I took a physical,
I wound up in the army.
Speaker 6 (11:05):
It was war hysteria.
Speaker 2 (11:10):
Hey yeah, hey, Red, Look at that guy over there
in the corner shadow boxing.
Speaker 1 (11:14):
Looks like he's losing.
Speaker 6 (11:15):
Dude, Yes, say I know him.
Speaker 5 (11:17):
He's Colorflower mcpug, the ex fighter.
Speaker 6 (11:19):
Boy. Is he punchy? Come on a sal to?
Speaker 3 (11:21):
Well, I gotta go up to the doctor's office.
Speaker 1 (11:23):
I'll meet you up there.
Speaker 3 (11:24):
Hey, Couliflower, dang your corner, Buff, dang your corner.
Speaker 1 (11:32):
Don't come on to the bell, ring the bell.
Speaker 2 (11:34):
Get you.
Speaker 6 (11:36):
It's me Cauliflower. Ron O'Connor, ron O'Connor.
Speaker 1 (11:39):
You know me, her, Yes, you know me. Can you
remember the big fight I had with baby Faith Irving? Yeah,
tell me about it. I remember a thing.
Speaker 2 (11:51):
You got knocked out in the first round.
Speaker 1 (11:53):
And I know but what I Color.
Speaker 3 (11:57):
You know I could I could have taken the middle
rate crowning kept for the fank and I had some
pretty bad.
Speaker 1 (12:01):
Break you know, and Majoe was broken in ten pointing.
Speaker 3 (12:06):
Some of the fights I would framed, I would put
on the pond, put on the pont a pot.
Speaker 5 (12:14):
Let's not get our burden.
Speaker 6 (12:15):
Good enough, boy, And your jaw looks all right now?
Speaker 3 (12:20):
Well, ma Joe looked on right, he kept it should
be the Loomer lip.
Speaker 1 (12:23):
No, no, what do you know? In my game they
told me that I could be another Jim Colbert? Can
you mend me me? Jim Corbert? Can you me gim?
Speaker 4 (12:30):
Who's Jim Kroeber's.
Speaker 1 (12:34):
You know you gotta watch that fight game and I'll
get camped a while. You get punky.
Speaker 3 (12:37):
You start here in belg you know when you got
here in Belding, you know you would staying answer the phone, William, Well.
Speaker 6 (12:48):
Have you have you done any fighting lately?
Speaker 1 (12:50):
Came up only with my wife, only with my wife.
Speaker 3 (12:52):
But I'm fighting her again next week, and if I win,
I win, I gotta shout at her, old lady.
Speaker 2 (12:57):
You know.
Speaker 3 (13:00):
Here on televis internet phone, Well there's no phone.
Speaker 10 (13:07):
Who but humor man went by? Hey, do you have
any children. Oh, I get that on your Yeah, I
have a little boy.
Speaker 6 (13:18):
I have a little boy.
Speaker 1 (13:19):
I have a little boy too, maybe the same kid.
Speaker 6 (13:28):
You know, Califlower. I think you've taken too many punches.
Speaker 1 (13:31):
Well, I haven't let any of.
Speaker 4 (13:32):
Them get by me.
Speaker 1 (13:36):
Oh, hold on, hold on, hold it will you?
Speaker 5 (13:38):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (13:39):
Since o'clock the time, you can't. I can whip any.
Speaker 6 (13:43):
Man on it. Yeah, I'll bet you can't.
Speaker 1 (13:46):
I can lick anybody on the train.
Speaker 6 (13:47):
How about that guy standing over there? Could you let
him here?
Speaker 1 (13:49):
I kick the foot pole about two and picked up moller.
Boy picked up moller.
Speaker 2 (13:54):
Okay, how about that fill coming out of the drug store?
Speaker 1 (13:57):
Let me game, I plighted for he or take you?
But we can answer that poon. No, he looks like
you're in a hurry. You better picked up and baller.
Speaker 2 (14:06):
Well, how about that boy scout helping that old lady
across the street?
Speaker 3 (14:10):
Act my boy, you're home of better hold that boy
scout to I know what that old lady is getting
any help?
Speaker 2 (14:16):
And on?
Speaker 5 (14:19):
Well, I'll see you later. I've got to catch up
with Scalp, you know.
Speaker 1 (14:22):
I gotta go in and get waid in for the
fight with the little woman. You know I'll d down
at the Jim Jim Who Jim Corber? Who Jim?
Speaker 2 (14:38):
Say?
Speaker 1 (14:38):
Doctor van stinthiscope?
Speaker 5 (14:41):
How is my blood pressure?
Speaker 1 (14:43):
Well that sounds more like my heart. I don't understand. German,
is it up? Is my pressure down?
Speaker 5 (14:48):
Well, let's see it just lays there. Tell me. Do
you ever complain of dizzy spill?
Speaker 3 (14:54):
Well?
Speaker 9 (14:54):
No, do you?
Speaker 2 (14:55):
Yes?
Speaker 5 (14:56):
Could you maybe prescribe something for me? You shall?
Speaker 1 (15:00):
It was to be the doctor.
Speaker 3 (15:01):
Thank you forgetting I'm so new in this country. Oh yeah,
how long ago did you leave Ireland? We'll finish the
examination so I can get out of here. First I
must check your ears right, Oh no, ain't that big boy?
Now I'll check your heart. Throw at your chest. I
(15:23):
ain't through with it yet. Throw out yours is in
worse shape. That completes the examination. If you will come
back in an hour, I'll give you a full report.
Speaker 1 (15:32):
Okay, Well, dork, hey Rod, I gotta come back in
an hour.
Speaker 2 (15:35):
I want to go ahead and coffee. No, I'm going
to stay here and read this magazine. This one seems
pretty new, it says. Coolidge refuses to run again.
Speaker 3 (15:43):
Hey, look who's in the doctor's office across the hall.
Speaker 1 (15:45):
Are the four Nights.
Speaker 6 (15:46):
I wonder what they're doing here.
Speaker 1 (15:47):
It probably came in for a four way cold tablet. Hey, listen, listen.
I think they're having their throats examined.
Speaker 11 (15:59):
And your heart, then that hate I hate together and
then your hate with the magic RaSE it changed around
by trouble.
Speaker 5 (16:06):
And you followed by your drinks.
Speaker 6 (16:08):
I drinks your trouble and trouble.
Speaker 5 (16:09):
Your thinks in less the party.
Speaker 1 (16:11):
Wait, salagadoola Michica pool.
Speaker 6 (16:13):
Of babydy bobadi boo.
Speaker 1 (16:15):
Put them together, and.
Speaker 12 (16:16):
What have you got babty babaty boo, satagadoolah, Michica.
Speaker 1 (16:20):
Pool of biberty bobadi boo.
Speaker 5 (16:22):
Get all do magic, believe it or not.
Speaker 1 (16:24):
Bibbety babay boo.
Speaker 12 (16:26):
Sallagadoolah means Michica pool the roof. But the thing I'm
a bop that does the job is biboty baba de boo.
Salagadoola Minchica boola baby baba da boo.
Speaker 5 (16:37):
Put them together.
Speaker 1 (16:37):
And but if you've got.
Speaker 12 (16:38):
Pebty babad bibbity bobadi bibbity bobady boot salad love chick.
Speaker 1 (16:47):
Bull biby bo boo, put them.
Speaker 12 (16:50):
Together, ran body you got Bob boo salagado love chick.
Speaker 4 (16:56):
Pull of baby baby booooo.
Speaker 12 (17:00):
Magic pity by Boo Salaga do the mean men take
a pooler room But.
Speaker 1 (17:09):
Thing bob duncan job.
Speaker 12 (17:12):
Is pippity baby Boo Salaga du la mensaga boola put
them together.
Speaker 4 (17:20):
And Bob cats min chika boola room Now.
Speaker 9 (17:26):
Volley boo, Ladies, here's a brand new Tide miracle. Now
with Tide, you can get your wash really clean without rinsing.
Speaker 5 (17:47):
That's right.
Speaker 9 (17:48):
With Proctor and gambles tied, there's no need to rinse.
Here's why Tide gets the dirt out of clothes and
keeps it suspended in the subsy water. When you ring
or spin ry your clothes, the dirt goes out along
the washwater. Your clothes are clean, white, fresh, They dry,
soft and fluffy, iron easily smell, sweet and clean.
Speaker 5 (18:08):
Yes clean.
Speaker 9 (18:09):
You know how clean Tide washes clothes with rinsing cleaner
than any other washing product you can buy. Now try
Tide without rinsing and compare the results. It's unbelievable how bright,
fresh and clean your clothes will be. And you save
time and work. Why you can cut your wash day
work in half. So try it next wash day. Use
(18:29):
tide and get really clean clothes without rinsing.
Speaker 2 (18:41):
Hey, buy.
Speaker 6 (18:44):
Well, Willie, lumplump?
Speaker 5 (18:46):
Hey, Willie, what are you doing here? Let's not get noser?
Speaker 2 (18:49):
Draw?
Speaker 5 (18:51):
What are you doing in a doctor's office? You ill?
Speaker 2 (18:53):
No?
Speaker 1 (18:53):
I come in here to wait for a bud.
Speaker 3 (18:58):
I came in for a few shots, but I mean,
I'm not July. You know I even bought a shot black.
Speaker 6 (19:08):
Well, why don't you go home and sleep it off?
Speaker 4 (19:10):
Botch up a whole day's work.
Speaker 1 (19:14):
Look, I don't know why I even talked to you.
Every time I see you get to look what you work?
You just don't look right.
Speaker 2 (19:24):
Don't look right.
Speaker 3 (19:25):
I tell you I think how to fig on my day,
but you you have to don't look. I've got a
lot of queer dts in my day, but you yet
don't look.
Speaker 2 (19:38):
Well.
Speaker 6 (19:38):
Welly, you're causing us saying.
Speaker 1 (19:39):
Another thing and another thing, yet you yet don't.
Speaker 2 (19:43):
Look really, snap out of it?
Speaker 1 (19:47):
Why have I come on and snap? Hey? Come on,
I buy a pretzels?
Speaker 5 (19:52):
They don't sell They don't sell pretzels here?
Speaker 1 (19:54):
Well, how they stay in business?
Speaker 3 (19:55):
Thing.
Speaker 6 (19:56):
I told you.
Speaker 5 (19:57):
This is a doctor's office.
Speaker 4 (19:58):
All right, likely, Sorry, I burnt.
Speaker 3 (20:02):
I'll pay a doctor. What's that television sun over there?
Speaker 5 (20:06):
For those that's a next ray machine.
Speaker 3 (20:09):
It's a television set I own Alloyd tellerions.
Speaker 6 (20:14):
I still say it's a next ray machine.
Speaker 5 (20:16):
Quiet.
Speaker 3 (20:17):
The place is coming on now, my Arthur, God forgetting burny.
Speaker 2 (20:26):
Oh why don't you get lost? I said, why don't
you get lost?
Speaker 5 (20:29):
I got news for you, brother.
Speaker 4 (20:31):
I am more.
Speaker 1 (20:34):
I'll see your u widen move.
Speaker 5 (20:36):
It's a doctor in here.
Speaker 3 (20:37):
The X rays and test reports on red scale, missus camp, missus.
Speaker 6 (20:40):
Otistan, Well, just put them on the desk there.
Speaker 5 (20:42):
I don't work here, Okay, I'll go in.
Speaker 1 (20:43):
Your boy, Gordon me.
Speaker 7 (20:52):
Ned me Lisa.
Speaker 13 (20:53):
Would you please hold that door open until I get
my little boy and open your not.
Speaker 4 (20:58):
Come on, let's go me here.
Speaker 3 (21:01):
I don't want to see the doctor, and I'll bet
you he ain't so anxious to see me.
Speaker 7 (21:05):
Now, you do as I say.
Speaker 4 (21:07):
I know your steam Kidjo.
Speaker 3 (21:08):
This is the same doctor that brought me into the world,
and you're just trying to get a week fun.
Speaker 4 (21:14):
That's not true.
Speaker 7 (21:15):
This doctor had nothing to do with bringing you into
the world. That's why he can practice out and they opened.
Speaker 3 (21:19):
Yes, which doctor brought me?
Speaker 4 (21:24):
I know who brought me the start rochet?
Speaker 3 (21:26):
And then he committed suicide. Right, yeah, there you go home.
I don't feel sick anymore.
Speaker 7 (21:31):
What about that stomach ache you were complaining?
Speaker 5 (21:35):
I had a hunt.
Speaker 13 (21:36):
You were just putting on a city. I could get
out of a spanky. But it wouldn't hurt to.
Speaker 7 (21:39):
The doctor to check up on you anyway.
Speaker 12 (21:41):
Believe me, if that doctor so much is later, we
don't think you're me.
Speaker 1 (21:44):
He is going to need a doctor.
Speaker 4 (21:46):
Now.
Speaker 1 (21:47):
I have spoken.
Speaker 7 (21:49):
Now stop being a smartie.
Speaker 1 (21:51):
I said I had spoken.
Speaker 3 (21:52):
I want you well, I you evidently we don't speak
the same language.
Speaker 4 (21:58):
Well, there's Rod O'Connor over there.
Speaker 7 (22:01):
Nothing Junior, Nothing, dear, Why don't you go out in
the hall and get.
Speaker 4 (22:05):
A drink of water. I want to speak to the doctor.
Speaker 3 (22:07):
Look at the bottles, got your hall?
Speaker 7 (22:10):
Wait, Robald Connor, isn't that you hiding behind that magazine?
Speaker 5 (22:14):
Oh hello, Loreene, I say you're carrying a pair of
empty handcuffs. Sports Junior.
Speaker 7 (22:19):
I'm not in the hall, rob I want you to
help me teach him a lesson.
Speaker 13 (22:23):
See every time he thinks he's going to get a whipping.
He pretends to hes sick so that I'll sympathize with
him and not spanking. And I thought maybe you could
act to the doctor and we could try to break.
Speaker 7 (22:32):
Him off the habit.
Speaker 1 (22:33):
Little do they know I'm listening in the key.
Speaker 6 (22:36):
That might be fun. I'll do it.
Speaker 7 (22:37):
Oh good, there's the doctor's white jacket on that chair.
Now you put it on and I'll call Junior.
Speaker 5 (22:41):
Oh boy, Now I can get some revenge on that kid.
Speaker 4 (22:45):
Junior.
Speaker 7 (22:45):
Yeah, here a minute.
Speaker 3 (22:47):
Okay, Hey mommy, you know you know what your budget?
Speaker 4 (22:50):
How do you know what You're going to shoot?
Speaker 1 (22:51):
That guy with the bee? Who do out there?
Speaker 4 (22:53):
Junior?
Speaker 7 (22:54):
I want you to meet doctor O'Connor.
Speaker 1 (22:56):
Realie, what hell do you do? Doctor?
Speaker 4 (22:58):
It will pay you. You know you you big fact nob.
Speaker 1 (23:04):
Think when he a doctor Fato, Well, I.
Speaker 2 (23:06):
Just started practicing today. In fact, you're my first patient.
Speaker 3 (23:08):
Well boy for me, boy for me, there's nothing wrong
with me, So take your business elsewhere.
Speaker 1 (23:14):
Blimp boy, Junior?
Speaker 6 (23:17):
Why do you call me blimp boy?
Speaker 4 (23:18):
I called him the way I see them, blimp boy.
Speaker 1 (23:22):
I don't like You're not gonna measure up.
Speaker 5 (23:24):
You off with you.
Speaker 2 (23:26):
I'm your report shunr.
Speaker 5 (23:29):
Why can't we be friends.
Speaker 1 (23:30):
Because we're getting along so well as enemies and this's
be ran enough of You know, have you been sick lately?
Speaker 6 (23:36):
What are your symptoms? I said, I hear you've been
sick lately? What are your symptoms?
Speaker 9 (23:40):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (23:41):
Symptoms? I don't feel quick symptoms.
Speaker 6 (23:47):
What I mean is do you have any pain?
Speaker 4 (23:49):
Only me, Nick, and I caught that from you.
Speaker 5 (23:52):
What do you think, doctor, Well, the boy does look
like he's lost his color.
Speaker 1 (23:55):
Well, you see it's raining to day, and tell me
to do it. I don't put on the webs beet
and go waiting.
Speaker 7 (24:02):
No dowling, not here.
Speaker 4 (24:03):
It's beautiful today.
Speaker 1 (24:04):
See that beautiful California sunshine going down the stoort.
Speaker 7 (24:09):
Now, doctor O'Connor, don't keep anything from me. Is my
boy all right?
Speaker 4 (24:13):
Will you recover? WILLI? Oh?
Speaker 1 (24:16):
Doctor, please tell me the truth, no matter how it
hurts me. Well, let's not get shicking about it. Every
year come time for the Academy.
Speaker 2 (24:26):
Awards, he goes BERSERKR there, junior, I think you'll be
all right if you'll go home to bed and you'll
take a couple of tea spoons of castor oil.
Speaker 1 (24:34):
I'll drink a cord of it.
Speaker 4 (24:38):
Well, I don't will not take it.
Speaker 1 (24:40):
I will not take it. I will not take it.
Big boy, Why don't you go take some? You don't
look so well?
Speaker 6 (24:45):
You shall feeling great shape?
Speaker 1 (24:48):
You can't tell me, dad boy? You lip your a
little purple, and your eyes here no white, no white?
Speaker 2 (24:54):
No more?
Speaker 1 (24:54):
What happened wing?
Speaker 4 (24:55):
Or your shows your eye? You're bleeding to death.
Speaker 13 (24:59):
Now, Rod, I mean, doctor O'Connor, looks just fun.
Speaker 1 (25:03):
Take the closer.
Speaker 3 (25:04):
Look, boy, that face is pretty gray, pretty great.
Speaker 1 (25:06):
Look?
Speaker 5 (25:08):
What do you mean gray?
Speaker 4 (25:09):
Well, it's more green and gray?
Speaker 1 (25:11):
Really, boy? Oh boy, I hate to alarm you, facto,
But can't you hear your pulse? My family? Will you.
Speaker 6 (25:20):
Loreen? Can you hear my pause?
Speaker 7 (25:23):
Well, I hear something. I thought it was the rivets
in the building next door.
Speaker 1 (25:30):
Get nervous.
Speaker 6 (25:31):
I think I can hear it.
Speaker 1 (25:31):
Now what shall I do? Well?
Speaker 4 (25:34):
Why don't you sit down?
Speaker 1 (25:35):
Then you won't have to far or fall when you drop?
Because he is going, boy, because you don't look right
to me.
Speaker 5 (25:42):
If you if you don't mind, I think I'll call
him ambulance and go home.
Speaker 7 (25:46):
Oh well, wait a.
Speaker 4 (25:47):
Minute, doctor, what about.
Speaker 1 (25:48):
Junior didn't bring him to the funeral too?
Speaker 4 (25:54):
Oh boy, I picked it right.
Speaker 13 (25:55):
Now you may rob, you say, just for that young man,
you're going to get the lacking of your alarm.
Speaker 3 (26:01):
No, no, now, suddenly I don't feel too good. Me
tell me that you're getting me knows you're getting ready
to bleed and you.
Speaker 13 (26:06):
Just hole field there and I'll give you another pain
to worry about it.
Speaker 3 (26:09):
No, no, no, no, noble only did no matter what
I complain of, you always come up with a remedy
in the inn.
Speaker 5 (26:20):
Yeah, what's going on?
Speaker 9 (26:25):
Now?
Speaker 3 (26:25):
Let's hear those reports from the test literatory? Hiday, Hey, doc,
want to find out where fighting or something when messed up?
I was just going to look at your chart. Now,
let me get all of your charts together. You are,
mister skepten.
Speaker 5 (26:42):
I have good news for you.
Speaker 1 (26:44):
You are going to be a mother over my dead body.
My mistake I got hold of the wrong chart is yours?
What's the results?
Speaker 5 (26:59):
If I were you, I would set for being a mother.
Speaker 6 (27:13):
Thanks for being with us, and until next Sunday.
Speaker 3 (27:15):
This is Red Skelton saying goodbye now and thanks for listening,
and thanks for buying more and more of the Wash
Day Miracle TV tie.
Speaker 5 (27:26):
Shirts out d D E tied.
Speaker 4 (27:40):
A beautiful natural softness, exciting natural sheen. Don't just wash
your hair, condition.
Speaker 2 (27:48):
It with New Now a shampoo that conditions your hair.
Conditions your hair to beautiful natural softness, natural sheen. It's
the New Dream Shampoo with Beauty Conditioner. No other shampoo
has this wonderful new beauty conditioner. It's an exclusive cleansing
agent found only in Gentle New Dream.
Speaker 4 (28:09):
Don't chance wash your hair. Condition it with.
Speaker 2 (28:14):
The New Dream Shampoo with Beauty Conditioner.
Speaker 5 (28:17):
Quiet.
Speaker 1 (28:27):
Join us again next.
Speaker 6 (28:28):
Sunday for the Red Skeleton Show.
Speaker 2 (28:31):
That Skelton's run the programs for the Predetry metropolden Manlet's
the CBS, the Columbia Broadcasting System
I think I'll go ho.
Speaker 2 (00:00):
Hey, yeah, Red, all right, we've got a few seconds.
Why don't you recite that little limerick about Tide.
Speaker 1 (00:05):
We'll get.
Speaker 3 (00:08):
I is your boxing Tide Their particlech had better hide
of course.
Speaker 1 (00:12):
Ring eye shout, I didn't do it.
Speaker 4 (00:15):
Shout it's the truth.
Speaker 1 (00:16):
And you can use me with pride, you know.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
Yeah from Hollywood Broughtrian Gampbell's Tie, the largest selling washtay
product in America, proudly presents the Red Skelton Program with
Red Skelton, David Rows, his orchestra singing stars, the Four Knights,
(00:43):
Rain Tuttle, Pat McGee and Dick Ryan, Martha Wentworth and
John Holbrook will.
Speaker 1 (00:47):
Be me Rob O'Connor.
Speaker 2 (00:56):
Just because he works for MGM as a star clown
and has brought to you my Procter and gamble doesn't
mean he's so different when it comes to buying insurance,
even if he is Red Skelting.
Speaker 3 (01:14):
Now, as I was saying, this policy pays double if
you die a natural debt, Well, what do.
Speaker 1 (01:19):
You classify a natural death? Out here? Hit by a
drunke driver? Is that? Oh?
Speaker 3 (01:24):
We're starting off with a bang, now, you know, I
don't think I need any insurance.
Speaker 1 (01:29):
I wish that joke heads. I'm I'd bury it right.
I feel wonderful. I don't need any insurance. I do
have a little heartburn down then a heartburn?
Speaker 5 (01:40):
Well? How are you fixed for fire insurance?
Speaker 1 (01:46):
How would you like to go? Rinse out a few things? Now?
Speaker 3 (01:51):
If you just answer a couple of questions, we'll be
all finished here.
Speaker 5 (01:54):
First, God, is your full name?
Speaker 1 (01:55):
Red Skelton? That's full or sober.
Speaker 4 (02:00):
Name?
Speaker 1 (02:00):
Richard red skilt?
Speaker 5 (02:01):
He wrote, Richard.
Speaker 3 (02:02):
All right now, Richard, wait a minute. Everybody calls me Rare.
I prefer to call you Richard. Look, Hercules, you call
me Rader. There's going to be another death of a
salesman around here.
Speaker 5 (02:15):
Very well, where were you born?
Speaker 3 (02:17):
I was born in Vincennes, Indiana. In fact, I'm planning
on going back there twenty six years ago. I left
vincenze's a barefooted boy.
Speaker 5 (02:25):
But are you going back for your shoes?
Speaker 1 (02:33):
How would you like to turn blue?
Speaker 5 (02:36):
You have an awful tempa, Richard.
Speaker 1 (02:38):
Look, I told you to call me Red.
Speaker 5 (02:39):
Go on strike me. I have double indemnity.
Speaker 3 (02:45):
Look, why do you why don't you get some insurance
to cover that hole in your head?
Speaker 1 (02:50):
Boy, please please.
Speaker 3 (02:52):
One of the questions is profession.
Speaker 5 (02:54):
Are you a plumber?
Speaker 3 (02:55):
No, I'm not a plumber. Are you positive? I swear
you fick fix the leaky? Also to find one time, Richard.
Speaker 1 (03:02):
If I had I would have never let a drip
like you run loose.
Speaker 5 (03:08):
Well, here's your papers. Now.
Speaker 3 (03:10):
All you have to do is get a physical checkout
from our doctor and then we can tell if you
qualify for a policy or not. Well, I am in
perfect physical condition. Look look at my chest, Look at
those shoulders, look at them arms.
Speaker 1 (03:20):
I'm not so fast.
Speaker 3 (03:21):
I'm still trying to find your chest.
Speaker 1 (03:25):
Okay, I'll go get a physical.
Speaker 6 (03:26):
Well.
Speaker 5 (03:27):
I hope you can pass you well. I hate to
cheat the company this way. Well, happy blood pressure, Richard,
and an open.
Speaker 4 (03:35):
Man hole for you, scout. Did you call me?
Speaker 3 (03:52):
No, mister Fred, You've probably got your hearing aid or
short wave again.
Speaker 1 (03:57):
What have you been.
Speaker 3 (03:58):
Doing, Sirail, I've been trying those new cold tablet you know,
you know the kind.
Speaker 4 (04:04):
That stops cold before it starts.
Speaker 1 (04:06):
Oh they do?
Speaker 5 (04:07):
Huh?
Speaker 2 (04:07):
Did they?
Speaker 1 (04:08):
Did you get rid of your cold? Yes?
Speaker 3 (04:09):
Yes, I've been defrosting all day.
Speaker 1 (04:13):
You know you're a little loop form when you walk.
Speaker 7 (04:16):
Up, not mised the skeleton.
Speaker 4 (04:18):
Maybe you should try my cold tablet.
Speaker 1 (04:19):
But I don't have a cold.
Speaker 3 (04:21):
Oh that's okay, these pills were cured anyway. Look, don't
look now, mister, but.
Speaker 1 (04:27):
I think you've slipped your trolley again.
Speaker 4 (04:30):
That's a skeleton.
Speaker 1 (04:31):
Is that anyway to talk to your houseboy?
Speaker 5 (04:35):
Get a load of the boy.
Speaker 3 (04:38):
This guy saw the preview the birth of a nation.
Speaker 1 (04:42):
Beg he wrote for the doctor.
Speaker 3 (04:45):
This guy ready shook the tree for Adam, and need
to get the apple from this guy so old he
remembers that the writer who worked here, Baby, these jokes
had a job. Now this scouting, I think I'm pretty
lively for my age.
Speaker 6 (05:03):
Lively.
Speaker 3 (05:04):
Yesterday you went for a walk and a vulture followed
you with a tape.
Speaker 1 (05:06):
Mate. Well, somebody to the door.
Speaker 4 (05:09):
I'll get it, okay, higher skelting.
Speaker 3 (05:12):
Well if it isn't Procter and Gambles, answer to mount
with me.
Speaker 1 (05:15):
Go on in ol'connor.
Speaker 2 (05:18):
I just dropped by the collect that bet we made
in the Rose Bowl game.
Speaker 6 (05:21):
You ready to pay off?
Speaker 1 (05:22):
Yeah? The tides already in the washing machines. You bring
your laundry.
Speaker 6 (05:24):
Yes, it's right here. Say that was some rose ball game,
wasn't he.
Speaker 1 (05:28):
Yeah, that old hire Steak can really play football.
Speaker 2 (05:30):
Yeah, but California was at a disadvantage. They were so
busy trying to keep those smudgepots going they couldn't concentrate
on the game.
Speaker 6 (05:35):
Well, I wait, wait, wait, that's a joke. I told boy.
Speaker 1 (05:39):
Oh it was. Yes, we'll tell it again, Tell it again.
Speaker 2 (05:42):
I said, California was at a disadvantage. They had to
keep the smudgepots going.
Speaker 3 (05:50):
Well, told me when I don't want to step on anything, Hey,
I gotta go down to the medical building and get
an examination.
Speaker 5 (05:58):
Here's a light.
Speaker 1 (05:59):
It sounds like a need his name. I want to
come along, Yes I do.
Speaker 2 (06:09):
I want to.
Speaker 6 (06:10):
I want to see the.
Speaker 3 (06:10):
Doctor's face when he finds out the hair on your
chest is a two pay.
Speaker 1 (06:16):
Look, boy, don't laugh.
Speaker 3 (06:17):
I remember when you had a physical check up and
they had to jack up your stomach to tap your.
Speaker 2 (06:21):
Knee, and you know, it's not so funny.
Speaker 6 (06:25):
It's the first time I knew I had a knee.
Speaker 1 (06:28):
Before we go and get some exercise music on there.
Speaker 3 (06:31):
We'll get in shape a little turn the radio one wall,
and now we interrupt the commercials to bring you Dave
Roles in his orchestra. Day, we'll play a medley of
popular tunes by Ted Theorrido and his orchestra will play
anything that comes to their mind.
Speaker 8 (06:46):
I put music for push offs up.
Speaker 9 (09:43):
Here's a brand new Tide miracle. Now with Tide you
can get your war sparkling clean without rinsing. That's right,
the doctor and gambles Tide. You don't have to rinse.
Here's why. Tide gets the dirt out of pods and
keeps it suspended in the sudsy water. So when you
ring or spin dry clothes, the dirt goes out along
with the washwater. Your clothes come out clean, white, fresh.
(10:06):
They dry, soft and fluffy, iron easily smell sweet and clean. Yes,
I said clean. You know how clean. Tide has always
washed your clothes with rinsing, cleaner than any other washing
product you can buy. Now we want you to try
Tide without rinsing and compare the results. Why it's unbelievable
how bright, fresh and clean your clothes will be. And
(10:28):
think of the time and work. You say you can
cut your washed day work in half. Yes, it's another
new wash day miracle from Tide.
Speaker 5 (10:36):
Try it.
Speaker 9 (10:37):
Use tide and get your clothes really clean without rinsing.
Speaker 1 (10:42):
God how tide gets close?
Speaker 4 (10:46):
Iner, Then follow them t I d e Tide.
Speaker 3 (10:53):
Here's the medical buildings, you know. Run and now that
I'm here, I'm getting nervous.
Speaker 2 (10:57):
Oh, buck up, rad It's only a physical. Nothing can
happen to you.
Speaker 1 (11:00):
Nothing can happen. The last time I took a physical,
I wound up in the army.
Speaker 6 (11:05):
It was war hysteria.
Speaker 2 (11:10):
Hey yeah, hey, Red, Look at that guy over there
in the corner shadow boxing.
Speaker 1 (11:14):
Looks like he's losing.
Speaker 6 (11:15):
Dude, Yes, say I know him.
Speaker 5 (11:17):
He's Colorflower mcpug, the ex fighter.
Speaker 6 (11:19):
Boy. Is he punchy? Come on a sal to?
Speaker 3 (11:21):
Well, I gotta go up to the doctor's office.
Speaker 1 (11:23):
I'll meet you up there.
Speaker 3 (11:24):
Hey, Couliflower, dang your corner, Buff, dang your corner.
Speaker 1 (11:32):
Don't come on to the bell, ring the bell.
Speaker 2 (11:34):
Get you.
Speaker 6 (11:36):
It's me Cauliflower. Ron O'Connor, ron O'Connor.
Speaker 1 (11:39):
You know me, her, Yes, you know me. Can you
remember the big fight I had with baby Faith Irving? Yeah,
tell me about it. I remember a thing.
Speaker 2 (11:51):
You got knocked out in the first round.
Speaker 1 (11:53):
And I know but what I Color.
Speaker 3 (11:57):
You know I could I could have taken the middle
rate crowning kept for the fank and I had some
pretty bad.
Speaker 1 (12:01):
Break you know, and Majoe was broken in ten pointing.
Speaker 3 (12:06):
Some of the fights I would framed, I would put
on the pond, put on the pont a pot.
Speaker 5 (12:14):
Let's not get our burden.
Speaker 6 (12:15):
Good enough, boy, And your jaw looks all right now?
Speaker 3 (12:20):
Well, ma Joe looked on right, he kept it should
be the Loomer lip.
Speaker 1 (12:23):
No, no, what do you know? In my game they
told me that I could be another Jim Colbert? Can
you mend me me? Jim Corbert? Can you me gim?
Speaker 4 (12:30):
Who's Jim Kroeber's.
Speaker 1 (12:34):
You know you gotta watch that fight game and I'll
get camped a while. You get punky.
Speaker 3 (12:37):
You start here in belg you know when you got
here in Belding, you know you would staying answer the phone, William, Well.
Speaker 6 (12:48):
Have you have you done any fighting lately?
Speaker 1 (12:50):
Came up only with my wife, only with my wife.
Speaker 3 (12:52):
But I'm fighting her again next week, and if I win,
I win, I gotta shout at her, old lady.
Speaker 2 (12:57):
You know.
Speaker 3 (13:00):
Here on televis internet phone, Well there's no phone.
Speaker 10 (13:07):
Who but humor man went by? Hey, do you have
any children. Oh, I get that on your Yeah, I
have a little boy.
Speaker 6 (13:18):
I have a little boy.
Speaker 1 (13:19):
I have a little boy too, maybe the same kid.
Speaker 6 (13:28):
You know, Califlower. I think you've taken too many punches.
Speaker 1 (13:31):
Well, I haven't let any of.
Speaker 4 (13:32):
Them get by me.
Speaker 1 (13:36):
Oh, hold on, hold on, hold it will you?
Speaker 5 (13:38):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (13:39):
Since o'clock the time, you can't. I can whip any.
Speaker 6 (13:43):
Man on it. Yeah, I'll bet you can't.
Speaker 1 (13:46):
I can lick anybody on the train.
Speaker 6 (13:47):
How about that guy standing over there? Could you let
him here?
Speaker 1 (13:49):
I kick the foot pole about two and picked up moller.
Boy picked up moller.
Speaker 2 (13:54):
Okay, how about that fill coming out of the drug store?
Speaker 1 (13:57):
Let me game, I plighted for he or take you?
But we can answer that poon. No, he looks like
you're in a hurry. You better picked up and baller.
Speaker 2 (14:06):
Well, how about that boy scout helping that old lady
across the street?
Speaker 3 (14:10):
Act my boy, you're home of better hold that boy
scout to I know what that old lady is getting
any help?
Speaker 2 (14:16):
And on?
Speaker 5 (14:19):
Well, I'll see you later. I've got to catch up
with Scalp, you know.
Speaker 1 (14:22):
I gotta go in and get waid in for the
fight with the little woman. You know I'll d down
at the Jim Jim Who Jim Corber? Who Jim?
Speaker 2 (14:38):
Say?
Speaker 1 (14:38):
Doctor van stinthiscope?
Speaker 5 (14:41):
How is my blood pressure?
Speaker 1 (14:43):
Well that sounds more like my heart. I don't understand. German,
is it up? Is my pressure down?
Speaker 5 (14:48):
Well, let's see it just lays there. Tell me. Do
you ever complain of dizzy spill?
Speaker 3 (14:54):
Well?
Speaker 9 (14:54):
No, do you?
Speaker 2 (14:55):
Yes?
Speaker 5 (14:56):
Could you maybe prescribe something for me? You shall?
Speaker 1 (15:00):
It was to be the doctor.
Speaker 3 (15:01):
Thank you forgetting I'm so new in this country. Oh yeah,
how long ago did you leave Ireland? We'll finish the
examination so I can get out of here. First I
must check your ears right, Oh no, ain't that big boy?
Now I'll check your heart. Throw at your chest. I
(15:23):
ain't through with it yet. Throw out yours is in
worse shape. That completes the examination. If you will come
back in an hour, I'll give you a full report.
Speaker 1 (15:32):
Okay, Well, dork, hey Rod, I gotta come back in
an hour.
Speaker 2 (15:35):
I want to go ahead and coffee. No, I'm going
to stay here and read this magazine. This one seems
pretty new, it says. Coolidge refuses to run again.
Speaker 3 (15:43):
Hey, look who's in the doctor's office across the hall.
Speaker 1 (15:45):
Are the four Nights.
Speaker 6 (15:46):
I wonder what they're doing here.
Speaker 1 (15:47):
It probably came in for a four way cold tablet. Hey, listen, listen.
I think they're having their throats examined.
Speaker 11 (15:59):
And your heart, then that hate I hate together and
then your hate with the magic RaSE it changed around
by trouble.
Speaker 5 (16:06):
And you followed by your drinks.
Speaker 6 (16:08):
I drinks your trouble and trouble.
Speaker 5 (16:09):
Your thinks in less the party.
Speaker 1 (16:11):
Wait, salagadoola Michica pool.
Speaker 6 (16:13):
Of babydy bobadi boo.
Speaker 1 (16:15):
Put them together, and.
Speaker 12 (16:16):
What have you got babty babaty boo, satagadoolah, Michica.
Speaker 1 (16:20):
Pool of biberty bobadi boo.
Speaker 5 (16:22):
Get all do magic, believe it or not.
Speaker 1 (16:24):
Bibbety babay boo.
Speaker 12 (16:26):
Sallagadoolah means Michica pool the roof. But the thing I'm
a bop that does the job is biboty baba de boo.
Salagadoola Minchica boola baby baba da boo.
Speaker 5 (16:37):
Put them together.
Speaker 1 (16:37):
And but if you've got.
Speaker 12 (16:38):
Pebty babad bibbity bobadi bibbity bobady boot salad love chick.
Speaker 1 (16:47):
Bull biby bo boo, put them.
Speaker 12 (16:50):
Together, ran body you got Bob boo salagado love chick.
Speaker 4 (16:56):
Pull of baby baby booooo.
Speaker 12 (17:00):
Magic pity by Boo Salaga do the mean men take
a pooler room But.
Speaker 1 (17:09):
Thing bob duncan job.
Speaker 12 (17:12):
Is pippity baby Boo Salaga du la mensaga boola put
them together.
Speaker 4 (17:20):
And Bob cats min chika boola room Now.
Speaker 9 (17:26):
Volley boo, Ladies, here's a brand new Tide miracle. Now
with Tide, you can get your wash really clean without rinsing.
Speaker 5 (17:47):
That's right.
Speaker 9 (17:48):
With Proctor and gambles tied, there's no need to rinse.
Here's why Tide gets the dirt out of clothes and
keeps it suspended in the subsy water. When you ring
or spin ry your clothes, the dirt goes out along
the washwater. Your clothes are clean, white, fresh, They dry,
soft and fluffy, iron easily smell, sweet and clean.
Speaker 5 (18:08):
Yes clean.
Speaker 9 (18:09):
You know how clean Tide washes clothes with rinsing cleaner
than any other washing product you can buy. Now try
Tide without rinsing and compare the results. It's unbelievable how bright,
fresh and clean your clothes will be. And you save
time and work. Why you can cut your wash day
work in half. So try it next wash day. Use
(18:29):
tide and get really clean clothes without rinsing.
Speaker 2 (18:41):
Hey, buy.
Speaker 6 (18:44):
Well, Willie, lumplump?
Speaker 5 (18:46):
Hey, Willie, what are you doing here? Let's not get noser?
Speaker 2 (18:49):
Draw?
Speaker 5 (18:51):
What are you doing in a doctor's office? You ill?
Speaker 2 (18:53):
No?
Speaker 1 (18:53):
I come in here to wait for a bud.
Speaker 3 (18:58):
I came in for a few shots, but I mean,
I'm not July. You know I even bought a shot black.
Speaker 6 (19:08):
Well, why don't you go home and sleep it off?
Speaker 4 (19:10):
Botch up a whole day's work.
Speaker 1 (19:14):
Look, I don't know why I even talked to you.
Every time I see you get to look what you work?
You just don't look right.
Speaker 2 (19:24):
Don't look right.
Speaker 3 (19:25):
I tell you I think how to fig on my day,
but you you have to don't look. I've got a
lot of queer dts in my day, but you yet
don't look.
Speaker 2 (19:38):
Well.
Speaker 6 (19:38):
Welly, you're causing us saying.
Speaker 1 (19:39):
Another thing and another thing, yet you yet don't.
Speaker 2 (19:43):
Look really, snap out of it?
Speaker 1 (19:47):
Why have I come on and snap? Hey? Come on,
I buy a pretzels?
Speaker 5 (19:52):
They don't sell They don't sell pretzels here?
Speaker 1 (19:54):
Well, how they stay in business?
Speaker 3 (19:55):
Thing.
Speaker 6 (19:56):
I told you.
Speaker 5 (19:57):
This is a doctor's office.
Speaker 4 (19:58):
All right, likely, Sorry, I burnt.
Speaker 3 (20:02):
I'll pay a doctor. What's that television sun over there?
Speaker 5 (20:06):
For those that's a next ray machine.
Speaker 3 (20:09):
It's a television set I own Alloyd tellerions.
Speaker 6 (20:14):
I still say it's a next ray machine.
Speaker 5 (20:16):
Quiet.
Speaker 3 (20:17):
The place is coming on now, my Arthur, God forgetting burny.
Speaker 2 (20:26):
Oh why don't you get lost? I said, why don't
you get lost?
Speaker 5 (20:29):
I got news for you, brother.
Speaker 4 (20:31):
I am more.
Speaker 1 (20:34):
I'll see your u widen move.
Speaker 5 (20:36):
It's a doctor in here.
Speaker 3 (20:37):
The X rays and test reports on red scale, missus camp, missus.
Speaker 6 (20:40):
Otistan, Well, just put them on the desk there.
Speaker 5 (20:42):
I don't work here, Okay, I'll go in.
Speaker 1 (20:43):
Your boy, Gordon me.
Speaker 7 (20:52):
Ned me Lisa.
Speaker 13 (20:53):
Would you please hold that door open until I get
my little boy and open your not.
Speaker 4 (20:58):
Come on, let's go me here.
Speaker 3 (21:01):
I don't want to see the doctor, and I'll bet
you he ain't so anxious to see me.
Speaker 7 (21:05):
Now, you do as I say.
Speaker 4 (21:07):
I know your steam Kidjo.
Speaker 3 (21:08):
This is the same doctor that brought me into the world,
and you're just trying to get a week fun.
Speaker 4 (21:14):
That's not true.
Speaker 7 (21:15):
This doctor had nothing to do with bringing you into
the world. That's why he can practice out and they opened.
Speaker 3 (21:19):
Yes, which doctor brought me?
Speaker 4 (21:24):
I know who brought me the start rochet?
Speaker 3 (21:26):
And then he committed suicide. Right, yeah, there you go home.
I don't feel sick anymore.
Speaker 7 (21:31):
What about that stomach ache you were complaining?
Speaker 5 (21:35):
I had a hunt.
Speaker 13 (21:36):
You were just putting on a city. I could get
out of a spanky. But it wouldn't hurt to.
Speaker 7 (21:39):
The doctor to check up on you anyway.
Speaker 12 (21:41):
Believe me, if that doctor so much is later, we
don't think you're me.
Speaker 1 (21:44):
He is going to need a doctor.
Speaker 4 (21:46):
Now.
Speaker 1 (21:47):
I have spoken.
Speaker 7 (21:49):
Now stop being a smartie.
Speaker 1 (21:51):
I said I had spoken.
Speaker 3 (21:52):
I want you well, I you evidently we don't speak
the same language.
Speaker 4 (21:58):
Well, there's Rod O'Connor over there.
Speaker 7 (22:01):
Nothing Junior, Nothing, dear, Why don't you go out in
the hall and get.
Speaker 4 (22:05):
A drink of water. I want to speak to the doctor.
Speaker 3 (22:07):
Look at the bottles, got your hall?
Speaker 7 (22:10):
Wait, Robald Connor, isn't that you hiding behind that magazine?
Speaker 5 (22:14):
Oh hello, Loreene, I say you're carrying a pair of
empty handcuffs. Sports Junior.
Speaker 7 (22:19):
I'm not in the hall, rob I want you to
help me teach him a lesson.
Speaker 13 (22:23):
See every time he thinks he's going to get a whipping.
He pretends to hes sick so that I'll sympathize with
him and not spanking. And I thought maybe you could
act to the doctor and we could try to break.
Speaker 7 (22:32):
Him off the habit.
Speaker 1 (22:33):
Little do they know I'm listening in the key.
Speaker 6 (22:36):
That might be fun. I'll do it.
Speaker 7 (22:37):
Oh good, there's the doctor's white jacket on that chair.
Now you put it on and I'll call Junior.
Speaker 5 (22:41):
Oh boy, Now I can get some revenge on that kid.
Speaker 4 (22:45):
Junior.
Speaker 7 (22:45):
Yeah, here a minute.
Speaker 3 (22:47):
Okay, Hey mommy, you know you know what your budget?
Speaker 4 (22:50):
How do you know what You're going to shoot?
Speaker 1 (22:51):
That guy with the bee? Who do out there?
Speaker 4 (22:53):
Junior?
Speaker 7 (22:54):
I want you to meet doctor O'Connor.
Speaker 1 (22:56):
Realie, what hell do you do? Doctor?
Speaker 4 (22:58):
It will pay you. You know you you big fact nob.
Speaker 1 (23:04):
Think when he a doctor Fato, Well, I.
Speaker 2 (23:06):
Just started practicing today. In fact, you're my first patient.
Speaker 3 (23:08):
Well boy for me, boy for me, there's nothing wrong
with me, So take your business elsewhere.
Speaker 1 (23:14):
Blimp boy, Junior?
Speaker 6 (23:17):
Why do you call me blimp boy?
Speaker 4 (23:18):
I called him the way I see them, blimp boy.
Speaker 1 (23:22):
I don't like You're not gonna measure up.
Speaker 5 (23:24):
You off with you.
Speaker 2 (23:26):
I'm your report shunr.
Speaker 5 (23:29):
Why can't we be friends.
Speaker 1 (23:30):
Because we're getting along so well as enemies and this's
be ran enough of You know, have you been sick lately?
Speaker 6 (23:36):
What are your symptoms? I said, I hear you've been
sick lately? What are your symptoms?
Speaker 9 (23:40):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (23:41):
Symptoms? I don't feel quick symptoms.
Speaker 6 (23:47):
What I mean is do you have any pain?
Speaker 4 (23:49):
Only me, Nick, and I caught that from you.
Speaker 5 (23:52):
What do you think, doctor, Well, the boy does look
like he's lost his color.
Speaker 1 (23:55):
Well, you see it's raining to day, and tell me
to do it. I don't put on the webs beet
and go waiting.
Speaker 7 (24:02):
No dowling, not here.
Speaker 4 (24:03):
It's beautiful today.
Speaker 1 (24:04):
See that beautiful California sunshine going down the stoort.
Speaker 7 (24:09):
Now, doctor O'Connor, don't keep anything from me. Is my
boy all right?
Speaker 4 (24:13):
Will you recover? WILLI? Oh?
Speaker 1 (24:16):
Doctor, please tell me the truth, no matter how it
hurts me. Well, let's not get shicking about it. Every
year come time for the Academy.
Speaker 2 (24:26):
Awards, he goes BERSERKR there, junior, I think you'll be
all right if you'll go home to bed and you'll
take a couple of tea spoons of castor oil.
Speaker 1 (24:34):
I'll drink a cord of it.
Speaker 4 (24:38):
Well, I don't will not take it.
Speaker 1 (24:40):
I will not take it. I will not take it.
Big boy, Why don't you go take some? You don't
look so well?
Speaker 6 (24:45):
You shall feeling great shape?
Speaker 1 (24:48):
You can't tell me, dad boy? You lip your a
little purple, and your eyes here no white, no white?
Speaker 2 (24:54):
No more?
Speaker 1 (24:54):
What happened wing?
Speaker 4 (24:55):
Or your shows your eye? You're bleeding to death.
Speaker 13 (24:59):
Now, Rod, I mean, doctor O'Connor, looks just fun.
Speaker 1 (25:03):
Take the closer.
Speaker 3 (25:04):
Look, boy, that face is pretty gray, pretty great.
Speaker 1 (25:06):
Look?
Speaker 5 (25:08):
What do you mean gray?
Speaker 4 (25:09):
Well, it's more green and gray?
Speaker 1 (25:11):
Really, boy? Oh boy, I hate to alarm you, facto,
But can't you hear your pulse? My family? Will you.
Speaker 6 (25:20):
Loreen? Can you hear my pause?
Speaker 7 (25:23):
Well, I hear something. I thought it was the rivets
in the building next door.
Speaker 1 (25:30):
Get nervous.
Speaker 6 (25:31):
I think I can hear it.
Speaker 1 (25:31):
Now what shall I do? Well?
Speaker 4 (25:34):
Why don't you sit down?
Speaker 1 (25:35):
Then you won't have to far or fall when you drop?
Because he is going, boy, because you don't look right
to me.
Speaker 5 (25:42):
If you if you don't mind, I think I'll call
him ambulance and go home.
Speaker 7 (25:46):
Oh well, wait a.
Speaker 4 (25:47):
Minute, doctor, what about.
Speaker 1 (25:48):
Junior didn't bring him to the funeral too?
Speaker 4 (25:54):
Oh boy, I picked it right.
Speaker 13 (25:55):
Now you may rob, you say, just for that young man,
you're going to get the lacking of your alarm.
Speaker 3 (26:01):
No, no, now, suddenly I don't feel too good. Me
tell me that you're getting me knows you're getting ready
to bleed and you.
Speaker 13 (26:06):
Just hole field there and I'll give you another pain
to worry about it.
Speaker 3 (26:09):
No, no, no, no, noble only did no matter what
I complain of, you always come up with a remedy
in the inn.
Speaker 5 (26:20):
Yeah, what's going on?
Speaker 9 (26:25):
Now?
Speaker 3 (26:25):
Let's hear those reports from the test literatory? Hiday, Hey, doc,
want to find out where fighting or something when messed up?
I was just going to look at your chart. Now,
let me get all of your charts together. You are,
mister skepten.
Speaker 5 (26:42):
I have good news for you.
Speaker 1 (26:44):
You are going to be a mother over my dead body.
My mistake I got hold of the wrong chart is yours?
What's the results?
Speaker 5 (26:59):
If I were you, I would set for being a mother.
Speaker 6 (27:13):
Thanks for being with us, and until next Sunday.
Speaker 3 (27:15):
This is Red Skelton saying goodbye now and thanks for listening,
and thanks for buying more and more of the Wash
Day Miracle TV tie.
Speaker 5 (27:26):
Shirts out d D E tied.
Speaker 4 (27:40):
A beautiful natural softness, exciting natural sheen. Don't just wash
your hair, condition.
Speaker 2 (27:48):
It with New Now a shampoo that conditions your hair.
Conditions your hair to beautiful natural softness, natural sheen. It's
the New Dream Shampoo with Beauty Conditioner. No other shampoo
has this wonderful new beauty conditioner. It's an exclusive cleansing
agent found only in Gentle New Dream.
Speaker 4 (28:09):
Don't chance wash your hair. Condition it with.
Speaker 2 (28:14):
The New Dream Shampoo with Beauty Conditioner.
Speaker 5 (28:17):
Quiet.
Speaker 1 (28:27):
Join us again next.
Speaker 6 (28:28):
Sunday for the Red Skeleton Show.
Speaker 2 (28:31):
That Skelton's run the programs for the Predetry metropolden Manlet's
the CBS, the Columbia Broadcasting System
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