July 31, 2025 • 29 mins
A comedy-variety show featuring the titular comedian's array of characters and sketches, delivering laughter through slapstick and satire. The show's humor appeals to a broad audience.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
If your wife day becomes a short, try new tide
and worry.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
No more.
Speaker 3 (00:10):
Black fire from Rod Crack your gambles tied.
Speaker 4 (00:13):
The Washday Miracle that gives you the cleanest clothes in town.
Proudly presents the Red Skelton Show. What Red Skelton, Dave
Rosy Orchestra, Marine Tuttle, Pat McGee and Dick Crime will
(00:36):
be me? Ron O'Connor From the Skelton scrap Book of
Satire a story entitled The Big Business Venture and it
stires Red Skelton.
Speaker 5 (01:06):
Oh, Rod, this is Red.
Speaker 2 (01:08):
I've got a terrific idea I want to talk to
you about.
Speaker 5 (01:10):
So I'll be right over. Okay, don't wait, but.
Speaker 4 (01:28):
I never get here. Hey, how come you drove your
car over here? You only live next door?
Speaker 1 (01:35):
Well, I didn't want to waste time pulling for a cab.
Speaker 4 (01:41):
You know, Scott, what are you so excited about?
Speaker 1 (01:44):
Well, Rod, I'm gonna let you in on some little money. Boy,
how about you and me going in business together?
Speaker 4 (01:49):
We're in business together now on radio? Or did Procter
and Gamble find that loophole in your contract?
Speaker 1 (01:55):
These don't put ideas like that in your head. Television
is just around the want tapping us on the shoulder.
Speaker 5 (02:01):
Don't do that.
Speaker 4 (02:02):
Well, let's run the business that you want to go into.
Speaker 1 (02:04):
I don't know, to stick up something. Everybody's trying to
sell these days. Now, we'll just look through the morning
paper and see what we can find.
Speaker 4 (02:09):
Okay, let's look at the water a sexual he get
a load of.
Speaker 1 (02:12):
This item in the personal column, young man with pet
skunk would.
Speaker 5 (02:16):
Like to meet young lady with airwig. I'll beat trasese. No,
I said that. I knew that joke would stink.
Speaker 1 (02:27):
I didn't want to leave it in there to be
self conscious.
Speaker 5 (02:35):
Hey, how about this one?
Speaker 4 (02:38):
Read that?
Speaker 5 (02:38):
Will you go ahead? No mind just laying an egg.
I'm not gonna lay two in a row.
Speaker 4 (02:46):
Read it for sale rabbit ranch stock includes two rabbits
and adding machine.
Speaker 5 (03:00):
Sorry I gave it to you.
Speaker 4 (03:01):
No high class restaurant, an exclusive neighborhood owner mysel because
of ill health.
Speaker 5 (03:07):
Oh, he's probably been eating his own food.
Speaker 4 (03:09):
Huh. But what will we do with a restaurant?
Speaker 6 (03:12):
Oh?
Speaker 5 (03:12):
I don't know. I love to cook.
Speaker 2 (03:14):
Remember the birthday cake I baked for you?
Speaker 4 (03:16):
I sure do. The only part I could eat was
the candle.
Speaker 1 (03:18):
Yeah, I'll be glad what Eddy gets back?
Speaker 5 (03:24):
I got all the jokes. Well, my cake wasn't too bad.
Speaker 1 (03:28):
CBS is going to use it for the Cornerstone and
a new television sudeo.
Speaker 2 (03:33):
Hey, come on, let's go take a look at this restaurant.
Speaker 5 (03:34):
How to be a good investor?
Speaker 4 (03:36):
All right, but I'm only doing it for one reason.
Speaker 5 (03:38):
Yeah, you say no, it's going to be an awful
short show. Come on.
Speaker 7 (03:44):
Look.
Speaker 5 (03:44):
By the time we should get there, Dave Rosney's artistra
Will have played d my love.
Speaker 2 (06:26):
He wears the cleanest shirts in town.
Speaker 8 (06:28):
There isn't any doubt the girl I'm married so well
that when Tides inserts out, I.
Speaker 2 (06:35):
Guess both clean that any soap, anything, just.
Speaker 6 (06:38):
Any soap, you get the cleanest washing town with TV.
Speaker 4 (06:44):
You know when Tide promises you, folks, the cleanest washing town.
We've got hundreds of laboratory tests for proof. While we've
tested every kind of soap there is, including probably all
the soap you've ever tried yourself. And the plan and
simple answer is Tie just downright gets closed cleaner than
any other washing products sold throughout America, no doubt about it.
(07:08):
We've proved it. You've proved it too, right in your
own washing machines. We've got the facts and figures. But
you've got cleaner clothes, the cleaner clothes your family wears,
the cleaner linens in your home. Yes, all you need
is a washing machine. Heap tie with those TIEDE said,
Then a quick rinse, and lady, you're hanging up the
(07:30):
cleanest wash in town.
Speaker 2 (07:36):
Aniso, you get the cleanest washing town with tea.
Speaker 7 (07:39):
I say, this sure is an exclusive neighborhood. There's not
a soul around.
Speaker 4 (07:59):
Say this looks like the restaurant that's for sale. Yeah,
see what a hole in the wall.
Speaker 5 (08:03):
You ain't kidding what many a mouse is found a home?
Speaker 7 (08:06):
Man?
Speaker 5 (08:07):
What do you say? Let's go in and talk to
the owner.
Speaker 1 (08:09):
Way, boy, those cobwebs over the door are really strong.
Place you're going to buy?
Speaker 4 (08:20):
Yeah, business must be booming for him.
Speaker 8 (08:23):
Yeah, well, come right in, fellas wacking it out for you.
Speaker 6 (08:27):
You're not hiding out from the place, are you.
Speaker 1 (08:31):
We'd like to hide out from this place. Yeah, No,
we're not hiding from the police.
Speaker 8 (08:35):
Can't figure out what you're doing in this dump. You
don't collect this, No, you're not looking for a handout.
Speaker 2 (08:42):
Oh no, we got plenty of money, show them right.
Speaker 4 (08:44):
Oh no, it's too much trouble. I'd have to take
off my girdle to get to my money belt.
Speaker 6 (08:51):
You got money, Oh yes.
Speaker 4 (08:53):
Yes, business must not be too good. You know there's
no soul in here.
Speaker 8 (08:56):
Yeah, but you should say it at lunch time. Yeah,
it's worse now you take dinner time. That's when the
place is crowded. Oh, the only traveler is they're all
moralatives and eat off the car.
Speaker 5 (09:10):
Well that saves on plates.
Speaker 8 (09:11):
Anyhow, I answered, the pretty good business before they put
that new highway out in front. Oh, now you see
the cars never go past here, slowing the fifty five
miles an hour. I mean, nobody ever stops, only when
they have a nasty accident.
Speaker 2 (09:28):
So we don't know who wrote that. Somebody gets slid
it under the door and we're reading.
Speaker 6 (09:39):
Well, then I sell them.
Speaker 8 (09:43):
Then I sell the Viklams a few Hamburgers while they're
waiting for the ambulance. But watchn't for them women drivers,
I'd go, bro, Well, I'm glad.
Speaker 5 (09:52):
You told them this place is not doing any business.
We came in to buy it.
Speaker 8 (09:56):
Oh did I understand you to say you're interested in
buying this gold mine.
Speaker 5 (10:00):
Oh mind, you just polish that you were with a frock.
Speaker 8 (10:03):
Oh now he look, Please do me a favor. Buy
the business before I become a millionaire. You see, I
hate to pay taxes. Oh oh, you read like you
hate to get laughs.
Speaker 4 (10:19):
What do you want for the joint?
Speaker 6 (10:21):
Five thousand wouldn't buy it?
Speaker 5 (10:22):
I'm one of the five thousands.
Speaker 6 (10:28):
I mean money.
Speaker 1 (10:29):
Oh well, I wouldn't pay more than fifty bucks for it.
Speaker 6 (10:32):
Well that's close enough. Here's the key.
Speaker 1 (10:39):
Well, here's my twenty five bucks. Come on, Rod, give
him you are twenty five.
Speaker 6 (10:42):
Thank you, gents, I give you the business.
Speaker 5 (10:45):
That's what I'm afraid of.
Speaker 8 (10:48):
Tolf of them on anatoyo, I say, top of them
on natoio.
Speaker 5 (10:52):
The bottom of the victory.
Speaker 4 (10:53):
Your turn, We scut.
Speaker 5 (10:58):
Sounds like somebody that was late for father car these peries.
Speaker 4 (11:02):
We're in the restaurant business. Now what'll we do?
Speaker 5 (11:05):
Well, let's go out someplace and have lunch.
Speaker 4 (11:10):
Hey, Red, look out in the front there.
Speaker 5 (11:12):
What's that?
Speaker 4 (11:12):
Isn't that trigger happy McGee and the racket here getting
out of his car.
Speaker 1 (11:15):
Yeah, boy, they say he's tough too. I heard that
when he was born The doctor slapped him on the back.
He drew out a twenty two from his diaper and
shot him. Oh he's coming in here. Get behind the counter,
look busy, Get under the counter, be better, geez, slam
the door, so heart, he broke the glad great sense
of humor.
Speaker 9 (11:36):
Hey, twinkletoes, how about a demo.
Speaker 1 (11:41):
Taste a demotastic? Well, I'm sorry, we don't serve a
hard liquor in here.
Speaker 4 (11:48):
Look comic.
Speaker 9 (11:49):
A demo taste is a digest version of the Kepta coffee.
Speaker 5 (11:54):
Let's have oh, cup of coffee coming right up? Sair,
that's sair, cup of coffee. That's fair, gemotes.
Speaker 2 (12:05):
How about a little cream?
Speaker 5 (12:10):
Nothing stingy about this play? How about how about sugar? Yeah,
one lump, one lump coming up. It's an all hold
deep tough. Now, make yourself ride home and drink her demotastic.
Speaker 9 (12:29):
If it's all the same with you, blabermous, I'm going
to make myself comfy and put my artillery on the cat.
Speaker 5 (12:44):
You've been out playing trick or treat.
Speaker 4 (12:50):
Don't let him scare your red. He's only bluffing with
that tough talk.
Speaker 5 (12:53):
Yeah, I'm only bluffing with these goose temples too.
Speaker 9 (12:56):
I've bought a spoon, bake mouth spoon. Yes, sir, coming
right up. You aren't quitch stolen.
Speaker 4 (13:02):
And handed over?
Speaker 2 (13:04):
Wait till I let go of it?
Speaker 5 (13:06):
Couldn't you.
Speaker 4 (13:08):
Come over here a minute? Skeleton, we're named Skeleton.
Speaker 2 (13:14):
I am referring to your future.
Speaker 5 (13:20):
Oh what is it you want? Well?
Speaker 9 (13:23):
That cup of coffee was good, little bit chewy, just
the way I like it.
Speaker 5 (13:30):
Yeah, well, I pour you another cup. But this is
only a half hour show.
Speaker 4 (13:35):
All right, I suparn some money?
Speaker 5 (13:37):
Yeah, goodbye. He broke that window while ago as he
walked in turn pages.
Speaker 4 (13:49):
Boy, Hey Red, we better clean this place up before
the customers start coming in.
Speaker 2 (13:56):
Yeah, you put a new glass in that door.
Speaker 5 (14:00):
And I'll dust off some of these pies so they
won't look so stale.
Speaker 4 (14:05):
Say we need a short order cook. I'm gonna put
a sign on the window. Maybe that'll get one in.
Speaker 5 (14:09):
That's a good idea.
Speaker 1 (14:09):
And there's a lot of work to be done around here,
and I don't intend just standing around, So if you
want me, I'll be out in the kitchen taking a nap.
Speaker 4 (14:16):
Don't strain yourself. Oh there's a guy looking at that
help wanted sign. I put in the window. It's that
punch drunk fighter califlar mcpug. It's always hearing bells and birds.
Speaker 2 (14:29):
Nang blinking on him. Hey, you want to have a
door putting?
Speaker 5 (14:38):
They're doing it.
Speaker 2 (14:38):
You want to have a bell? Put it on? You
put it, you put it.
Speaker 1 (14:43):
Put a bell on that joining you the gell when
people would coming in get some more?
Speaker 2 (14:46):
Go I get a bell on it.
Speaker 4 (14:50):
Bless, there is a bell on that door. Didn't you
hear it ring when you came in?
Speaker 2 (14:54):
When you're a white guy, do.
Speaker 5 (14:57):
You know I didn't hear no bell?
Speaker 2 (14:58):
What do you think? I am punky?
Speaker 5 (15:00):
You don't move? What do you want to hear?
Speaker 6 (15:02):
A pet? Dorm on?
Speaker 5 (15:04):
Then?
Speaker 2 (15:04):
Parrokeet nointy.
Speaker 4 (15:08):
Got a flower for your information. This is a restaurant.
Speaker 2 (15:10):
Well, from what I hear, you're catering to nothing but boring.
Speaker 5 (15:14):
Why don't you wait on them?
Speaker 2 (15:15):
Canary?
Speaker 5 (15:16):
They're ding?
Speaker 4 (15:19):
I saw you're looking at that sign on the window.
Is that what you came in here? About it?
Speaker 5 (15:23):
When I came in here?
Speaker 2 (15:23):
But tell me how long has your clearing tale been going?
Speaker 4 (15:36):
Look? The sign doesn't say anything about a clearance. Sailor
says short order cook wanted. Can't you read drink and read?
Speaker 1 (15:42):
I can read reading, but I can't read writing writing,
wrote rotten.
Speaker 2 (15:50):
Don't grab an apple for the teaker a school bounce
it through?
Speaker 4 (15:55):
How punchy can you get that? I said? How punchy
can you get?
Speaker 5 (16:00):
Lord to till?
Speaker 2 (16:00):
I'm rather young?
Speaker 5 (16:01):
Yet?
Speaker 2 (16:04):
Hey, you need a cook in this joint? How about
hiring me? How about hiring me?
Speaker 4 (16:07):
What do you know about cooking? Well?
Speaker 2 (16:09):
For three year ago I was on KP and the Army.
Speaker 5 (16:11):
I used to cook the food for the whole and
name love.
Speaker 2 (16:14):
Did they ain't get them my cooking? You know? I
was the pride of the Canaine corn.
Speaker 4 (16:23):
The canine core. What were you a dog face?
Speaker 5 (16:25):
I went to.
Speaker 2 (16:29):
You, didn't get much of you.
Speaker 4 (16:33):
Why do you want to work here? Aren't you fighting anymore?
Speaker 2 (16:35):
I fight a couple of nights a week.
Speaker 4 (16:38):
You want two nights a week off?
Speaker 1 (16:39):
Oh no, no, get two minutes? You see my bout?
I get him over with no hurry.
Speaker 2 (16:44):
I sweat up with all tap tag you with you?
What damn guy?
Speaker 5 (16:49):
Gonna tap me on the killer?
Speaker 2 (16:50):
But when I around, tell me something.
Speaker 4 (16:57):
I have to have a fight. Will you feel like working?
Speaker 5 (16:59):
Believe me?
Speaker 1 (16:59):
I won't see anything one thing about me. I always
come out after a.
Speaker 2 (17:04):
Fight and it ain't condition and I go in and
un count.
Speaker 1 (17:06):
It to know, you know, I would a boy, I
fluck up and throw over that. You didn't take my
fight last week. I would fight and Jim Hart and
open Burbank.
Speaker 2 (17:22):
And the one he came after me?
Speaker 1 (17:24):
Why you think it was trying to drum up business
from Montgomery from mortuaries.
Speaker 6 (17:36):
Hard.
Speaker 2 (17:36):
I can't bring down the back of my nicknam boy.
I hit that came with my down for about five minutes.
My manager had to dribble me back in the room.
Speaker 4 (17:47):
Hello, wonder you walk around on your heels. Your brains
are scrambled.
Speaker 2 (17:49):
Oh you think I'm you want to see that rattler
I roomed with.
Speaker 6 (17:52):
There is a gun.
Speaker 2 (17:53):
It's really good.
Speaker 4 (17:54):
What do you mean?
Speaker 2 (17:55):
It's really good? Flying all over the country.
Speaker 5 (17:59):
The people want a good pilot.
Speaker 4 (18:02):
What's wrong with that? You get nowhere?
Speaker 6 (18:04):
Please?
Speaker 2 (18:08):
I know I need coal pilot.
Speaker 4 (18:14):
I'm sorry, Califarer, I can't hire you for a cook,
but we need a dish washing and the job is yours.
If you wanted, well, what do you pay four dollars
a day when you week nomock gleek nipoo. Of course,
out of that four dollars, I have to deduct three
dollars a day for your meal league. And then there's
another deduction for income tax, social Security and medical insurance
that comes to ninety two cents a day. Now, let's
(18:39):
see that leaves you with a net earning of eight
cents a day. And that's not counting your car fare.
Speaker 2 (18:45):
Well, that caught me contin today.
Speaker 4 (18:47):
Are you sure you want the job? Color far?
Speaker 2 (18:49):
Sure I need the money?
Speaker 5 (18:55):
Color Fire?
Speaker 4 (18:56):
On second thought, I don't think I can.
Speaker 2 (18:58):
Use you as a di No, but I gotta run anyhow.
I give him a volunteer fireman.
Speaker 1 (19:02):
And I hear a third alarm bell ringing, Hey, rock.
Speaker 5 (19:14):
Come here a minute, Come here.
Speaker 4 (19:15):
Look what do you want read?
Speaker 5 (19:17):
Look?
Speaker 1 (19:17):
I put a board on that door where the glass
was broken. Now we can slam it hard and it
won't we'll break what clever?
Speaker 4 (19:23):
H m hmm, that's been a chief board, say scouting?
What already? I think we made a bad investment.
Speaker 1 (19:33):
Give it a chance, boy, let's put some life in
the place. Put a nickel in that joke box, jute box,
joke for a nickel.
Speaker 4 (19:42):
Well, tell me what record. Are you going to select?
Speaker 5 (19:43):
Well, here's a.
Speaker 1 (19:44):
Good Western tune. It's sung by Roy Rogers Horse triggers.
Speaker 5 (19:49):
Yeah, but he's.
Speaker 1 (19:50):
Accompanied by Tennessee Ernie and his cow Orchestra. It features
Elsie and her magic milk and bucket.
Speaker 4 (19:59):
Well, let's not wasted, just on us pick out another record.
Speaker 1 (20:02):
How about this when Dave Rosen's Orders were playing Paris
Wee Week.
Speaker 4 (22:44):
If you hate to wash dishes, then you're gonna love tie. Well,
I certainly hate to wash dishes. Why am I going
to love tie? Because tie does dishes easier and faster
and pleasant. Well, what about the greasy water dish washing makes?
Speaker 6 (22:59):
I'm really hate that.
Speaker 4 (23:01):
Then you are gonna love tide because when tide's in
your dishpan, greasy water is out, or tide cuts grease amazingly,
seems to make it disappear. That sudsy water stays so
fresh and pleasant your hands will love it. Well, that's fine,
but dish washing takes time.
Speaker 2 (23:18):
I hate that part too.
Speaker 4 (23:19):
Then I repeat, you're gonna love tide because tide does
dish as quick as one, two three. First, you wash
your dishes in those billowy tide suns. Next you nsom
then just let them drain dry, no wiping needed. You see,
unlike soap, tide leaves no dulling. Soap filled so dishes
and glasses sparkle without wiping. Yes, tide makes dish washing
(23:42):
easier and quicker and pleasanter.
Speaker 5 (23:43):
So remember, if you hate to wash dishes, then you're
gonna love tithed.
Speaker 1 (23:56):
Say Rod, I'm gonna run over to the insurance company
and take out some fire insurance on this joint.
Speaker 4 (24:01):
Okay, and on your way back, stop at the store
and pick up a box of matches and some garrosene.
Speaker 1 (24:09):
I'm glad we figured out a way to make some
money off of this restaurant.
Speaker 5 (24:12):
I'll see you later.
Speaker 4 (24:13):
We don't slam that door, just run an hour putting
a new glass in it.
Speaker 5 (24:16):
Yeah, who's coming across the street.
Speaker 4 (24:17):
It's Junior. She's running right out in front of the traffic.
Good heavens. I better run out and see he's all right, Junior?
Speaker 1 (24:29):
Are you hursh didn't get his crash, didn't get it cracked.
But did you notice that Cadillac is wearing an office shoulder?
Speaker 4 (24:34):
Chevrolet or you know better than to run out in
the street.
Speaker 2 (24:40):
Never mind that factor. Why I come up.
Speaker 1 (24:42):
We hate talking with your business with you. Shall we
step into your place of establishment?
Speaker 4 (24:46):
Come on in, Junior, But don't slam the door because
I just put a new glass in it. It might break.
Speaker 5 (24:50):
You can't wake black by slamming your door.
Speaker 4 (24:52):
Oh yes you can.
Speaker 5 (24:53):
I can.
Speaker 2 (24:54):
Well, thanks for your for making How could you well
you just told me I could.
Speaker 5 (25:03):
But couldness say? If you want another demo? Face that
had to put glass in that door again?
Speaker 4 (25:07):
For two cents, I'd give you a weapon.
Speaker 5 (25:09):
Oh, I shall play you two cents. You home, I
can get all I want for nothing.
Speaker 4 (25:14):
Go away, down and don't bother me. I'm busy.
Speaker 2 (25:16):
Yeah, that's what I have come over to see you
about the back.
Speaker 5 (25:18):
Yo, this restaurant has got to go.
Speaker 4 (25:21):
Why does it have to go?
Speaker 1 (25:22):
Because I happened to be running the women at stand
across the street and I can't stand any competition. See now,
I get you twenty four hours to clear out?
Speaker 5 (25:31):
Get lord?
Speaker 4 (25:33):
What if I don't feel like clearing out?
Speaker 5 (25:35):
Genie quick?
Speaker 2 (25:36):
I got hear me?
Speaker 4 (25:37):
Hen I'm looking.
Speaker 1 (25:38):
I take a look at your big bay window, not
the one you told the other one. Now put two
and two together. See can you imagine how drafty it's
gonna be in here, Junior.
Speaker 4 (25:51):
There's no need to threaten me. I'm sure we can
get along doing business in the same neighborhood. After all,
I don't sell lemonade. You don't sell food.
Speaker 1 (25:57):
Yeah, guy, Guy shell food, my standards world famous course
mud pies.
Speaker 4 (26:04):
Who would buy mud pie?
Speaker 2 (26:06):
I'll tell you who the folks you drink my lemonade.
Speaker 5 (26:08):
It takes showed.
Speaker 2 (26:08):
Loudly that you buy the mud pie.
Speaker 5 (26:10):
Just pro weapons.
Speaker 2 (26:12):
You could see me at the end of a busy day.
I'm loaded with pennies and colored with mud. I is
known as the filthy witch.
Speaker 4 (26:22):
Well, Juny, to show you there's no hard feelings, I'll
give you some sugar for your lemonade. How's that?
Speaker 6 (26:26):
Well, that's great.
Speaker 1 (26:27):
Could you also give me a lemon the one I've
been using I had for four months now.
Speaker 2 (26:33):
Eating a little brown and mold. I don't know why
I don't hide it a couple of months.
Speaker 4 (26:40):
Don't look now, but here comes your mother.
Speaker 5 (26:42):
Oh her boce.
Speaker 2 (26:43):
Kid rides again.
Speaker 1 (26:45):
I wasn't wondering how long it was going to take
her to discovery that I figured out the combination and
mid crib.
Speaker 2 (26:52):
Oh hello, Rod, have you seen, Junior.
Speaker 4 (26:54):
Well, he was here a minute ago. Oh there he
is picking out of the garbage disposal.
Speaker 2 (26:59):
You pigging, Junior, that garbage disposal.
Speaker 6 (27:03):
Somebody's able to turn the switch on and you will
clause up the plumbing.
Speaker 2 (27:10):
I'm Gladim body, jimbody, love me around here.
Speaker 5 (27:13):
Mummy, you look pretty.
Speaker 4 (27:17):
Don't you start that huffy morguffity stuff with mummy?
Speaker 2 (27:20):
What's your language, Edna's?
Speaker 6 (27:24):
Oh no, stop trying to change the subject. How many
times have I told you never to cross the street alone?
Speaker 2 (27:30):
Rod?
Speaker 5 (27:30):
What am I going to do with him? Well?
Speaker 4 (27:31):
I know a good taxidermist where you could have him
stuff cheap?
Speaker 1 (27:36):
Oh Rob, how can you ever think of such a
He wouldn't look good hanging over the fire playing.
Speaker 2 (27:44):
Look if you got to answas and stuff me? How
about doing it with ice cream and cake?
Speaker 9 (27:48):
Huh?
Speaker 2 (27:48):
How about that that banana? Pieter looks you get your
hands off that pot.
Speaker 5 (27:52):
No, I want it.
Speaker 6 (27:54):
Stop tugging. Don't stop that.
Speaker 2 (27:55):
You have been watching those commis and he's going television.
Speaker 4 (27:58):
You know how this is going to.
Speaker 6 (28:02):
Take it?
Speaker 1 (28:03):
You, Junior, when you set that goal, it's the first
time I've ever enjoyed old dings, Bring me alive.
Speaker 4 (28:13):
He's going out the back door. Don't slam it, Junior.
That's funny, it didn't break.
Speaker 6 (28:22):
That's basic.
Speaker 2 (28:23):
Don't make glass the way they used to.
Speaker 4 (28:33):
Now, ladies and gentlemen, until next Sunday.
Speaker 1 (28:35):
And this is Red Skelton saying goodbye now and thanks
for listening, and thanks for buying more and more of
that Voice day Miracle Tide.
Speaker 4 (28:42):
And this is Ron O'Connor reminding you of the Tide
gets posed cleaner than any soap on Earth, cleaner than
any other washing products sold throughout America. That's why you
get the clean Join us again next Sunday for the
(29:14):
Red Skeleton Show.
Speaker 3 (29:16):
That Skelton has heard him. This program to the courtesy
of Metropol There this is a copyrighted Creature Ranch five.
This is CBA, the Columbia Broadcasting System
If your wife day becomes a short, try new tide
and worry.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
No more.
Speaker 3 (00:10):
Black fire from Rod Crack your gambles tied.
Speaker 4 (00:13):
The Washday Miracle that gives you the cleanest clothes in town.
Proudly presents the Red Skelton Show. What Red Skelton, Dave
Rosy Orchestra, Marine Tuttle, Pat McGee and Dick Crime will
(00:36):
be me? Ron O'Connor From the Skelton scrap Book of
Satire a story entitled The Big Business Venture and it
stires Red Skelton.
Speaker 5 (01:06):
Oh, Rod, this is Red.
Speaker 2 (01:08):
I've got a terrific idea I want to talk to
you about.
Speaker 5 (01:10):
So I'll be right over. Okay, don't wait, but.
Speaker 4 (01:28):
I never get here. Hey, how come you drove your
car over here? You only live next door?
Speaker 1 (01:35):
Well, I didn't want to waste time pulling for a cab.
Speaker 4 (01:41):
You know, Scott, what are you so excited about?
Speaker 1 (01:44):
Well, Rod, I'm gonna let you in on some little money. Boy,
how about you and me going in business together?
Speaker 4 (01:49):
We're in business together now on radio? Or did Procter
and Gamble find that loophole in your contract?
Speaker 1 (01:55):
These don't put ideas like that in your head. Television
is just around the want tapping us on the shoulder.
Speaker 5 (02:01):
Don't do that.
Speaker 4 (02:02):
Well, let's run the business that you want to go into.
Speaker 1 (02:04):
I don't know, to stick up something. Everybody's trying to
sell these days. Now, we'll just look through the morning
paper and see what we can find.
Speaker 4 (02:09):
Okay, let's look at the water a sexual he get
a load of.
Speaker 1 (02:12):
This item in the personal column, young man with pet
skunk would.
Speaker 5 (02:16):
Like to meet young lady with airwig. I'll beat trasese. No,
I said that. I knew that joke would stink.
Speaker 1 (02:27):
I didn't want to leave it in there to be
self conscious.
Speaker 5 (02:35):
Hey, how about this one?
Speaker 4 (02:38):
Read that?
Speaker 5 (02:38):
Will you go ahead? No mind just laying an egg.
I'm not gonna lay two in a row.
Speaker 4 (02:46):
Read it for sale rabbit ranch stock includes two rabbits
and adding machine.
Speaker 5 (03:00):
Sorry I gave it to you.
Speaker 4 (03:01):
No high class restaurant, an exclusive neighborhood owner mysel because
of ill health.
Speaker 5 (03:07):
Oh, he's probably been eating his own food.
Speaker 4 (03:09):
Huh. But what will we do with a restaurant?
Speaker 6 (03:12):
Oh?
Speaker 5 (03:12):
I don't know. I love to cook.
Speaker 2 (03:14):
Remember the birthday cake I baked for you?
Speaker 4 (03:16):
I sure do. The only part I could eat was
the candle.
Speaker 1 (03:18):
Yeah, I'll be glad what Eddy gets back?
Speaker 5 (03:24):
I got all the jokes. Well, my cake wasn't too bad.
Speaker 1 (03:28):
CBS is going to use it for the Cornerstone and
a new television sudeo.
Speaker 2 (03:33):
Hey, come on, let's go take a look at this restaurant.
Speaker 5 (03:34):
How to be a good investor?
Speaker 4 (03:36):
All right, but I'm only doing it for one reason.
Speaker 5 (03:38):
Yeah, you say no, it's going to be an awful
short show. Come on.
Speaker 7 (03:44):
Look.
Speaker 5 (03:44):
By the time we should get there, Dave Rosney's artistra
Will have played d my love.
Speaker 2 (06:26):
He wears the cleanest shirts in town.
Speaker 8 (06:28):
There isn't any doubt the girl I'm married so well
that when Tides inserts out, I.
Speaker 2 (06:35):
Guess both clean that any soap, anything, just.
Speaker 6 (06:38):
Any soap, you get the cleanest washing town with TV.
Speaker 4 (06:44):
You know when Tide promises you, folks, the cleanest washing town.
We've got hundreds of laboratory tests for proof. While we've
tested every kind of soap there is, including probably all
the soap you've ever tried yourself. And the plan and
simple answer is Tie just downright gets closed cleaner than
any other washing products sold throughout America, no doubt about it.
(07:08):
We've proved it. You've proved it too, right in your
own washing machines. We've got the facts and figures. But
you've got cleaner clothes, the cleaner clothes your family wears,
the cleaner linens in your home. Yes, all you need
is a washing machine. Heap tie with those TIEDE said,
Then a quick rinse, and lady, you're hanging up the
(07:30):
cleanest wash in town.
Speaker 2 (07:36):
Aniso, you get the cleanest washing town with tea.
Speaker 7 (07:39):
I say, this sure is an exclusive neighborhood. There's not
a soul around.
Speaker 4 (07:59):
Say this looks like the restaurant that's for sale. Yeah,
see what a hole in the wall.
Speaker 5 (08:03):
You ain't kidding what many a mouse is found a home?
Speaker 7 (08:06):
Man?
Speaker 5 (08:07):
What do you say? Let's go in and talk to
the owner.
Speaker 1 (08:09):
Way, boy, those cobwebs over the door are really strong.
Place you're going to buy?
Speaker 4 (08:20):
Yeah, business must be booming for him.
Speaker 8 (08:23):
Yeah, well, come right in, fellas wacking it out for you.
Speaker 6 (08:27):
You're not hiding out from the place, are you.
Speaker 1 (08:31):
We'd like to hide out from this place. Yeah, No,
we're not hiding from the police.
Speaker 8 (08:35):
Can't figure out what you're doing in this dump. You
don't collect this, No, you're not looking for a handout.
Speaker 2 (08:42):
Oh no, we got plenty of money, show them right.
Speaker 4 (08:44):
Oh no, it's too much trouble. I'd have to take
off my girdle to get to my money belt.
Speaker 6 (08:51):
You got money, Oh yes.
Speaker 4 (08:53):
Yes, business must not be too good. You know there's
no soul in here.
Speaker 8 (08:56):
Yeah, but you should say it at lunch time. Yeah,
it's worse now you take dinner time. That's when the
place is crowded. Oh, the only traveler is they're all
moralatives and eat off the car.
Speaker 5 (09:10):
Well that saves on plates.
Speaker 8 (09:11):
Anyhow, I answered, the pretty good business before they put
that new highway out in front. Oh, now you see
the cars never go past here, slowing the fifty five
miles an hour. I mean, nobody ever stops, only when
they have a nasty accident.
Speaker 2 (09:28):
So we don't know who wrote that. Somebody gets slid
it under the door and we're reading.
Speaker 6 (09:39):
Well, then I sell them.
Speaker 8 (09:43):
Then I sell the Viklams a few Hamburgers while they're
waiting for the ambulance. But watchn't for them women drivers,
I'd go, bro, Well, I'm glad.
Speaker 5 (09:52):
You told them this place is not doing any business.
We came in to buy it.
Speaker 8 (09:56):
Oh did I understand you to say you're interested in
buying this gold mine.
Speaker 5 (10:00):
Oh mind, you just polish that you were with a frock.
Speaker 8 (10:03):
Oh now he look, Please do me a favor. Buy
the business before I become a millionaire. You see, I
hate to pay taxes. Oh oh, you read like you
hate to get laughs.
Speaker 4 (10:19):
What do you want for the joint?
Speaker 6 (10:21):
Five thousand wouldn't buy it?
Speaker 5 (10:22):
I'm one of the five thousands.
Speaker 6 (10:28):
I mean money.
Speaker 1 (10:29):
Oh well, I wouldn't pay more than fifty bucks for it.
Speaker 6 (10:32):
Well that's close enough. Here's the key.
Speaker 1 (10:39):
Well, here's my twenty five bucks. Come on, Rod, give
him you are twenty five.
Speaker 6 (10:42):
Thank you, gents, I give you the business.
Speaker 5 (10:45):
That's what I'm afraid of.
Speaker 8 (10:48):
Tolf of them on anatoyo, I say, top of them
on natoio.
Speaker 5 (10:52):
The bottom of the victory.
Speaker 4 (10:53):
Your turn, We scut.
Speaker 5 (10:58):
Sounds like somebody that was late for father car these peries.
Speaker 4 (11:02):
We're in the restaurant business. Now what'll we do?
Speaker 5 (11:05):
Well, let's go out someplace and have lunch.
Speaker 4 (11:10):
Hey, Red, look out in the front there.
Speaker 5 (11:12):
What's that?
Speaker 4 (11:12):
Isn't that trigger happy McGee and the racket here getting
out of his car.
Speaker 1 (11:15):
Yeah, boy, they say he's tough too. I heard that
when he was born The doctor slapped him on the back.
He drew out a twenty two from his diaper and
shot him. Oh he's coming in here. Get behind the counter,
look busy, Get under the counter, be better, geez, slam
the door, so heart, he broke the glad great sense
of humor.
Speaker 9 (11:36):
Hey, twinkletoes, how about a demo.
Speaker 1 (11:41):
Taste a demotastic? Well, I'm sorry, we don't serve a
hard liquor in here.
Speaker 4 (11:48):
Look comic.
Speaker 9 (11:49):
A demo taste is a digest version of the Kepta coffee.
Speaker 5 (11:54):
Let's have oh, cup of coffee coming right up? Sair,
that's sair, cup of coffee. That's fair, gemotes.
Speaker 2 (12:05):
How about a little cream?
Speaker 5 (12:10):
Nothing stingy about this play? How about how about sugar? Yeah,
one lump, one lump coming up. It's an all hold
deep tough. Now, make yourself ride home and drink her demotastic.
Speaker 9 (12:29):
If it's all the same with you, blabermous, I'm going
to make myself comfy and put my artillery on the cat.
Speaker 5 (12:44):
You've been out playing trick or treat.
Speaker 4 (12:50):
Don't let him scare your red. He's only bluffing with
that tough talk.
Speaker 5 (12:53):
Yeah, I'm only bluffing with these goose temples too.
Speaker 9 (12:56):
I've bought a spoon, bake mouth spoon. Yes, sir, coming
right up. You aren't quitch stolen.
Speaker 4 (13:02):
And handed over?
Speaker 2 (13:04):
Wait till I let go of it?
Speaker 5 (13:06):
Couldn't you.
Speaker 4 (13:08):
Come over here a minute? Skeleton, we're named Skeleton.
Speaker 2 (13:14):
I am referring to your future.
Speaker 5 (13:20):
Oh what is it you want? Well?
Speaker 9 (13:23):
That cup of coffee was good, little bit chewy, just
the way I like it.
Speaker 5 (13:30):
Yeah, well, I pour you another cup. But this is
only a half hour show.
Speaker 4 (13:35):
All right, I suparn some money?
Speaker 5 (13:37):
Yeah, goodbye. He broke that window while ago as he
walked in turn pages.
Speaker 4 (13:49):
Boy, Hey Red, we better clean this place up before
the customers start coming in.
Speaker 2 (13:56):
Yeah, you put a new glass in that door.
Speaker 5 (14:00):
And I'll dust off some of these pies so they
won't look so stale.
Speaker 4 (14:05):
Say we need a short order cook. I'm gonna put
a sign on the window. Maybe that'll get one in.
Speaker 5 (14:09):
That's a good idea.
Speaker 1 (14:09):
And there's a lot of work to be done around here,
and I don't intend just standing around, So if you
want me, I'll be out in the kitchen taking a nap.
Speaker 4 (14:16):
Don't strain yourself. Oh there's a guy looking at that
help wanted sign. I put in the window. It's that
punch drunk fighter califlar mcpug. It's always hearing bells and birds.
Speaker 2 (14:29):
Nang blinking on him. Hey, you want to have a
door putting?
Speaker 5 (14:38):
They're doing it.
Speaker 2 (14:38):
You want to have a bell? Put it on? You
put it, you put it.
Speaker 1 (14:43):
Put a bell on that joining you the gell when
people would coming in get some more?
Speaker 2 (14:46):
Go I get a bell on it.
Speaker 4 (14:50):
Bless, there is a bell on that door. Didn't you
hear it ring when you came in?
Speaker 2 (14:54):
When you're a white guy, do.
Speaker 5 (14:57):
You know I didn't hear no bell?
Speaker 2 (14:58):
What do you think? I am punky?
Speaker 5 (15:00):
You don't move? What do you want to hear?
Speaker 6 (15:02):
A pet? Dorm on?
Speaker 5 (15:04):
Then?
Speaker 2 (15:04):
Parrokeet nointy.
Speaker 4 (15:08):
Got a flower for your information. This is a restaurant.
Speaker 2 (15:10):
Well, from what I hear, you're catering to nothing but boring.
Speaker 5 (15:14):
Why don't you wait on them?
Speaker 2 (15:15):
Canary?
Speaker 5 (15:16):
They're ding?
Speaker 4 (15:19):
I saw you're looking at that sign on the window.
Is that what you came in here? About it?
Speaker 5 (15:23):
When I came in here?
Speaker 2 (15:23):
But tell me how long has your clearing tale been going?
Speaker 4 (15:36):
Look? The sign doesn't say anything about a clearance. Sailor
says short order cook wanted. Can't you read drink and read?
Speaker 1 (15:42):
I can read reading, but I can't read writing writing,
wrote rotten.
Speaker 2 (15:50):
Don't grab an apple for the teaker a school bounce
it through?
Speaker 4 (15:55):
How punchy can you get that? I said? How punchy
can you get?
Speaker 5 (16:00):
Lord to till?
Speaker 2 (16:00):
I'm rather young?
Speaker 5 (16:01):
Yet?
Speaker 2 (16:04):
Hey, you need a cook in this joint? How about
hiring me? How about hiring me?
Speaker 4 (16:07):
What do you know about cooking? Well?
Speaker 2 (16:09):
For three year ago I was on KP and the Army.
Speaker 5 (16:11):
I used to cook the food for the whole and
name love.
Speaker 2 (16:14):
Did they ain't get them my cooking? You know? I
was the pride of the Canaine corn.
Speaker 4 (16:23):
The canine core. What were you a dog face?
Speaker 5 (16:25):
I went to.
Speaker 2 (16:29):
You, didn't get much of you.
Speaker 4 (16:33):
Why do you want to work here? Aren't you fighting anymore?
Speaker 2 (16:35):
I fight a couple of nights a week.
Speaker 4 (16:38):
You want two nights a week off?
Speaker 1 (16:39):
Oh no, no, get two minutes? You see my bout?
I get him over with no hurry.
Speaker 2 (16:44):
I sweat up with all tap tag you with you?
What damn guy?
Speaker 5 (16:49):
Gonna tap me on the killer?
Speaker 2 (16:50):
But when I around, tell me something.
Speaker 4 (16:57):
I have to have a fight. Will you feel like working?
Speaker 5 (16:59):
Believe me?
Speaker 1 (16:59):
I won't see anything one thing about me. I always
come out after a.
Speaker 2 (17:04):
Fight and it ain't condition and I go in and
un count.
Speaker 1 (17:06):
It to know, you know, I would a boy, I
fluck up and throw over that. You didn't take my
fight last week. I would fight and Jim Hart and
open Burbank.
Speaker 2 (17:22):
And the one he came after me?
Speaker 1 (17:24):
Why you think it was trying to drum up business
from Montgomery from mortuaries.
Speaker 6 (17:36):
Hard.
Speaker 2 (17:36):
I can't bring down the back of my nicknam boy.
I hit that came with my down for about five minutes.
My manager had to dribble me back in the room.
Speaker 4 (17:47):
Hello, wonder you walk around on your heels. Your brains
are scrambled.
Speaker 2 (17:49):
Oh you think I'm you want to see that rattler
I roomed with.
Speaker 6 (17:52):
There is a gun.
Speaker 2 (17:53):
It's really good.
Speaker 4 (17:54):
What do you mean?
Speaker 2 (17:55):
It's really good? Flying all over the country.
Speaker 5 (17:59):
The people want a good pilot.
Speaker 4 (18:02):
What's wrong with that? You get nowhere?
Speaker 6 (18:04):
Please?
Speaker 2 (18:08):
I know I need coal pilot.
Speaker 4 (18:14):
I'm sorry, Califarer, I can't hire you for a cook,
but we need a dish washing and the job is yours.
If you wanted, well, what do you pay four dollars
a day when you week nomock gleek nipoo. Of course,
out of that four dollars, I have to deduct three
dollars a day for your meal league. And then there's
another deduction for income tax, social Security and medical insurance
that comes to ninety two cents a day. Now, let's
(18:39):
see that leaves you with a net earning of eight
cents a day. And that's not counting your car fare.
Speaker 2 (18:45):
Well, that caught me contin today.
Speaker 4 (18:47):
Are you sure you want the job? Color far?
Speaker 2 (18:49):
Sure I need the money?
Speaker 5 (18:55):
Color Fire?
Speaker 4 (18:56):
On second thought, I don't think I can.
Speaker 2 (18:58):
Use you as a di No, but I gotta run anyhow.
I give him a volunteer fireman.
Speaker 1 (19:02):
And I hear a third alarm bell ringing, Hey, rock.
Speaker 5 (19:14):
Come here a minute, Come here.
Speaker 4 (19:15):
Look what do you want read?
Speaker 5 (19:17):
Look?
Speaker 1 (19:17):
I put a board on that door where the glass
was broken. Now we can slam it hard and it
won't we'll break what clever?
Speaker 4 (19:23):
H m hmm, that's been a chief board, say scouting?
What already? I think we made a bad investment.
Speaker 1 (19:33):
Give it a chance, boy, let's put some life in
the place. Put a nickel in that joke box, jute box,
joke for a nickel.
Speaker 4 (19:42):
Well, tell me what record. Are you going to select?
Speaker 5 (19:43):
Well, here's a.
Speaker 1 (19:44):
Good Western tune. It's sung by Roy Rogers Horse triggers.
Speaker 5 (19:49):
Yeah, but he's.
Speaker 1 (19:50):
Accompanied by Tennessee Ernie and his cow Orchestra. It features
Elsie and her magic milk and bucket.
Speaker 4 (19:59):
Well, let's not wasted, just on us pick out another record.
Speaker 1 (20:02):
How about this when Dave Rosen's Orders were playing Paris
Wee Week.
Speaker 4 (22:44):
If you hate to wash dishes, then you're gonna love tie. Well,
I certainly hate to wash dishes. Why am I going
to love tie? Because tie does dishes easier and faster
and pleasant. Well, what about the greasy water dish washing makes?
Speaker 6 (22:59):
I'm really hate that.
Speaker 4 (23:01):
Then you are gonna love tide because when tide's in
your dishpan, greasy water is out, or tide cuts grease amazingly,
seems to make it disappear. That sudsy water stays so
fresh and pleasant your hands will love it. Well, that's fine,
but dish washing takes time.
Speaker 2 (23:18):
I hate that part too.
Speaker 4 (23:19):
Then I repeat, you're gonna love tide because tide does
dish as quick as one, two three. First, you wash
your dishes in those billowy tide suns. Next you nsom
then just let them drain dry, no wiping needed. You see,
unlike soap, tide leaves no dulling. Soap filled so dishes
and glasses sparkle without wiping. Yes, tide makes dish washing
(23:42):
easier and quicker and pleasanter.
Speaker 5 (23:43):
So remember, if you hate to wash dishes, then you're
gonna love tithed.
Speaker 1 (23:56):
Say Rod, I'm gonna run over to the insurance company
and take out some fire insurance on this joint.
Speaker 4 (24:01):
Okay, and on your way back, stop at the store
and pick up a box of matches and some garrosene.
Speaker 1 (24:09):
I'm glad we figured out a way to make some
money off of this restaurant.
Speaker 5 (24:12):
I'll see you later.
Speaker 4 (24:13):
We don't slam that door, just run an hour putting
a new glass in it.
Speaker 5 (24:16):
Yeah, who's coming across the street.
Speaker 4 (24:17):
It's Junior. She's running right out in front of the traffic.
Good heavens. I better run out and see he's all right, Junior?
Speaker 1 (24:29):
Are you hursh didn't get his crash, didn't get it cracked.
But did you notice that Cadillac is wearing an office shoulder?
Speaker 4 (24:34):
Chevrolet or you know better than to run out in
the street.
Speaker 2 (24:40):
Never mind that factor. Why I come up.
Speaker 1 (24:42):
We hate talking with your business with you. Shall we
step into your place of establishment?
Speaker 4 (24:46):
Come on in, Junior, But don't slam the door because
I just put a new glass in it. It might break.
Speaker 5 (24:50):
You can't wake black by slamming your door.
Speaker 4 (24:52):
Oh yes you can.
Speaker 5 (24:53):
I can.
Speaker 2 (24:54):
Well, thanks for your for making How could you well
you just told me I could.
Speaker 5 (25:03):
But couldness say? If you want another demo? Face that
had to put glass in that door again?
Speaker 4 (25:07):
For two cents, I'd give you a weapon.
Speaker 5 (25:09):
Oh, I shall play you two cents. You home, I
can get all I want for nothing.
Speaker 4 (25:14):
Go away, down and don't bother me. I'm busy.
Speaker 2 (25:16):
Yeah, that's what I have come over to see you
about the back.
Speaker 5 (25:18):
Yo, this restaurant has got to go.
Speaker 4 (25:21):
Why does it have to go?
Speaker 1 (25:22):
Because I happened to be running the women at stand
across the street and I can't stand any competition. See now,
I get you twenty four hours to clear out?
Speaker 5 (25:31):
Get lord?
Speaker 4 (25:33):
What if I don't feel like clearing out?
Speaker 5 (25:35):
Genie quick?
Speaker 2 (25:36):
I got hear me?
Speaker 4 (25:37):
Hen I'm looking.
Speaker 1 (25:38):
I take a look at your big bay window, not
the one you told the other one. Now put two
and two together. See can you imagine how drafty it's
gonna be in here, Junior.
Speaker 4 (25:51):
There's no need to threaten me. I'm sure we can
get along doing business in the same neighborhood. After all,
I don't sell lemonade. You don't sell food.
Speaker 1 (25:57):
Yeah, guy, Guy shell food, my standards world famous course
mud pies.
Speaker 4 (26:04):
Who would buy mud pie?
Speaker 2 (26:06):
I'll tell you who the folks you drink my lemonade.
Speaker 5 (26:08):
It takes showed.
Speaker 2 (26:08):
Loudly that you buy the mud pie.
Speaker 5 (26:10):
Just pro weapons.
Speaker 2 (26:12):
You could see me at the end of a busy day.
I'm loaded with pennies and colored with mud. I is
known as the filthy witch.
Speaker 4 (26:22):
Well, Juny, to show you there's no hard feelings, I'll
give you some sugar for your lemonade. How's that?
Speaker 6 (26:26):
Well, that's great.
Speaker 1 (26:27):
Could you also give me a lemon the one I've
been using I had for four months now.
Speaker 2 (26:33):
Eating a little brown and mold. I don't know why
I don't hide it a couple of months.
Speaker 4 (26:40):
Don't look now, but here comes your mother.
Speaker 5 (26:42):
Oh her boce.
Speaker 2 (26:43):
Kid rides again.
Speaker 1 (26:45):
I wasn't wondering how long it was going to take
her to discovery that I figured out the combination and
mid crib.
Speaker 2 (26:52):
Oh hello, Rod, have you seen, Junior.
Speaker 4 (26:54):
Well, he was here a minute ago. Oh there he
is picking out of the garbage disposal.
Speaker 2 (26:59):
You pigging, Junior, that garbage disposal.
Speaker 6 (27:03):
Somebody's able to turn the switch on and you will
clause up the plumbing.
Speaker 2 (27:10):
I'm Gladim body, jimbody, love me around here.
Speaker 5 (27:13):
Mummy, you look pretty.
Speaker 4 (27:17):
Don't you start that huffy morguffity stuff with mummy?
Speaker 2 (27:20):
What's your language, Edna's?
Speaker 6 (27:24):
Oh no, stop trying to change the subject. How many
times have I told you never to cross the street alone?
Speaker 2 (27:30):
Rod?
Speaker 5 (27:30):
What am I going to do with him? Well?
Speaker 4 (27:31):
I know a good taxidermist where you could have him
stuff cheap?
Speaker 1 (27:36):
Oh Rob, how can you ever think of such a
He wouldn't look good hanging over the fire playing.
Speaker 2 (27:44):
Look if you got to answas and stuff me? How
about doing it with ice cream and cake?
Speaker 9 (27:48):
Huh?
Speaker 2 (27:48):
How about that that banana? Pieter looks you get your
hands off that pot.
Speaker 5 (27:52):
No, I want it.
Speaker 6 (27:54):
Stop tugging. Don't stop that.
Speaker 2 (27:55):
You have been watching those commis and he's going television.
Speaker 4 (27:58):
You know how this is going to.
Speaker 6 (28:02):
Take it?
Speaker 1 (28:03):
You, Junior, when you set that goal, it's the first
time I've ever enjoyed old dings, Bring me alive.
Speaker 4 (28:13):
He's going out the back door. Don't slam it, Junior.
That's funny, it didn't break.
Speaker 6 (28:22):
That's basic.
Speaker 2 (28:23):
Don't make glass the way they used to.
Speaker 4 (28:33):
Now, ladies and gentlemen, until next Sunday.
Speaker 1 (28:35):
And this is Red Skelton saying goodbye now and thanks
for listening, and thanks for buying more and more of
that Voice day Miracle Tide.
Speaker 4 (28:42):
And this is Ron O'Connor reminding you of the Tide
gets posed cleaner than any soap on Earth, cleaner than
any other washing products sold throughout America. That's why you
get the clean Join us again next Sunday for the
(29:14):
Red Skeleton Show.
Speaker 3 (29:16):
That Skelton has heard him. This program to the courtesy
of Metropol There this is a copyrighted Creature Ranch five.
This is CBA, the Columbia Broadcasting System
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