May 22, 2025 • 23 mins
A comedy-variety show featuring the titular comedian's array of characters and sketches, delivering laughter through slapstick and satire. The show's humor appeals to a broad audience.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Red and tell me.
Speaker 2 (00:12):
Thank you very much, and Merry Christmas, ladies, And definitely
they're all over the cast is applauding. Wait till they
open up their presence, they won't be.
Speaker 3 (00:22):
Now, you know, three rd nine o three and Merry Christmas.
You right, well here it is Christmas.
Speaker 2 (00:26):
Yeah, and you know I don't And you know what
I'm gonna.
Speaker 4 (00:28):
Give you, no, Redd, I haven't the slightest idea.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
And then we're even neither of.
Speaker 4 (00:31):
I won't say. I heard johny Eddie Canner program last night.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
Oh yeah, Hey, you know who's a great guy to
is this Harry von Zel? He laughs at everything that
Canner says.
Speaker 4 (00:41):
You know, well, I can laugh as hard as Harry
von Zel.
Speaker 3 (00:44):
See you go ahead, I'll say something funny like cannor
I'm dead.
Speaker 4 (00:50):
Now I'm getting read. It was really some show.
Speaker 2 (00:52):
Yeah, there's a real comedian, Eddie Canner me me, but
he's been on the air a long time. Yew. When
Eddie first went on the radio, Mark Cooney was just
thinking of the idea when.
Speaker 3 (01:04):
You first went on the radio, you sorry you ever
thought of it? You know, it must have been exciting
being on the air with Eddie Canner. He discovered a
lot of talent Manna Durban Dinah show.
Speaker 2 (01:13):
Yeah, Sophie Tucker, John.
Speaker 4 (01:18):
John Wilkes Booth, Wait a second, how long has he
been in Chown.
Speaker 2 (01:25):
Eddie Cannon. Let's see, well, let's see. Lincoln was shot
in sixty. I took a bath from twenty two. I
don't know. It's been a long.
Speaker 1 (01:35):
Time, you know.
Speaker 3 (01:36):
I thought it was cute the way you played Junior
and Eddie played your father. Yeah. Here I got a
nice card, Eddie Canner.
Speaker 1 (01:41):
I read it for you, says dear Rid.
Speaker 2 (01:43):
Thanks for being Junior on our show. We really love
Junior and we all want him to return the microphone.
I had to turn the face. We're all joking aside,
ladies and Jeff when everyone kids Eddie Canner about his
big eyes, but very seldom anything is said about the
big hand that he has. It's always ready to reach
(02:05):
out and give help to some unfortunate person. Anita Ellis
Singh's toy Land by Victor Herbert.
Speaker 5 (02:54):
Ball joy.
Speaker 6 (03:17):
Step never to pass its birth, and then you drew within.
Speaker 1 (04:04):
The shop.
Speaker 5 (04:11):
John Sigmato line, It's for.
Speaker 3 (04:56):
To night, the stories and the scoffing scrap book of
fat tire are about Christmas. If you'd rather have the
deeper type of Christmas stories, you can go to.
Speaker 1 (05:03):
The Dickens.
Speaker 7 (05:06):
Chap your wine the black Market Christmas.
Speaker 3 (05:19):
Good evening there, friend, Merry Christmas and welcome to the
Sweet Tooth Candy Kitchen.
Speaker 4 (05:24):
Are you a battle.
Speaker 1 (05:25):
For shack Nasty?
Speaker 2 (05:26):
Well, if I ain't some guy sure running around with
a horrible name.
Speaker 8 (05:29):
I know, well Ben Ruben the newsboys at me. Oh yes,
he told me you might have some bubble gumers.
Speaker 1 (05:38):
Run so low note so loud.
Speaker 3 (05:40):
Stepping to the back of the store. We the boys
just smuggling in this morning. The boys, Yeah, you know.
Speaker 1 (05:47):
The gum runners. Is this safe at black market?
Speaker 9 (05:53):
No?
Speaker 2 (05:53):
This is more of a tannetale gray, But I can't
take any chances just talking out in the open. I
was run in last week for cutting up extinction cords
and selling them to near sighted kids for liquorage. Now, well,
what's on your mind?
Speaker 1 (06:11):
Huh?
Speaker 8 (06:12):
Well, I'd like to get a box of bubble gums
my grandsons for chrystal.
Speaker 2 (06:16):
Yes, what gold mine do you own? Well? How much
does it run? Two dollars a bull.
Speaker 1 (06:27):
Two dollars A yeah.
Speaker 2 (06:29):
That's providing you take a few sticks of the other
brands of gums.
Speaker 3 (06:31):
See, we're operating the way the liquor stores. Do you
buy one bottle of good stuff, you gotta get some
of that butt cut.
Speaker 2 (06:40):
Wood it, you know. You know, at that price I
can buy.
Speaker 1 (06:47):
A new car.
Speaker 2 (06:48):
You'd be surprised how many people are buying gum this
year instead of car.
Speaker 1 (06:54):
That seems ridiculous to.
Speaker 4 (06:55):
Pay that much.
Speaker 5 (06:55):
Put Well, I'll tell you what I do have.
Speaker 2 (06:57):
You might be interested in some use.
Speaker 9 (06:59):
Bubble gum.
Speaker 3 (07:01):
Might be able to scrape you up a bunks of
that sporty.
Speaker 1 (07:05):
Well, where do you get it?
Speaker 2 (07:07):
From the seats after it kid his met in egg?
Speaker 3 (07:09):
Yeah, but from the Beverly Hills hitching post to eat it.
This ain't that rip rap stuff, you know, you.
Speaker 2 (07:16):
Know the movie carts, the movie star kids is then
they're difference. You know, as soon as the sugar's out
of the gum, they're ready for a new chew. They
don't go in for the sport of blowing it and
popping it.
Speaker 8 (07:30):
Well, I guess i'd better get some of the fresh
bubble gum. Good for you, Good for you Christmas on
cons that's right here we are. Well, now tell me,
Are there any instructions for the gum? My grandson's only
four years old and he's never seen anything.
Speaker 3 (07:46):
Well, all he has to do the boar bubble is
to breathe through the nose and out through the mouth.
I'll be showing you get that straight, because if he
does it the other way around, he's gonna be in trouble.
Speaker 2 (08:01):
Here, I'll give you. I'll give you a demonstration. One
size head does your grandson's hat?
Speaker 1 (08:07):
Why?
Speaker 3 (08:08):
Well, I want to give you an idea of how
the bubble gum is going to look hanging out of
his kisses. You see, if it's not just right, the
size is not right, the loss is too great. When
it popped, it gets in their hair, all over their faces,
shuts off their breathing. Well, he wears a size three hat.
Speaker 1 (08:28):
What they kid got for a head?
Speaker 2 (08:29):
Grape fruit? I'll have to chew this stuff up around
and get some of the kinks out of it. Oh there,
what my fun?
Speaker 1 (08:41):
Now?
Speaker 9 (08:41):
Watch this button?
Speaker 1 (08:44):
Hey?
Speaker 4 (08:44):
It has nice texture, doesn't it?
Speaker 10 (08:46):
Fifty one gate.
Speaker 2 (08:50):
Makes a nice your bubble? Don't you think.
Speaker 4 (08:53):
You better step back?
Speaker 2 (08:54):
This may be a little moist orized. Well, would you
mind if I a step into the throom. It's it's
getting on my coat, the twentiest singing. Poppa's out of
my head, getting fight of here. And I knew if
I stayed in this business long enough, I've blow.
Speaker 1 (09:13):
Him a top.
Speaker 3 (09:16):
Chapter two.
Speaker 7 (09:17):
Christmas is even the stage brush country.
Speaker 2 (09:26):
Whoo whoo.
Speaker 1 (09:36):
Why don't you just say stop? That's why?
Speaker 2 (09:44):
Hey, don't the town look pretty? I like the way
they got them trees decorated hanging from him here it
is Christmas evening. I'm penels. Ain't you going to spend
Christmas with you?
Speaker 4 (09:58):
That?
Speaker 2 (09:59):
No, they won't let me.
Speaker 1 (10:00):
And alcatrac No, is he still on the rock? He's
been there ever since? It was a bebbel.
Speaker 4 (10:08):
Well, I remembered you this time, dead eye.
Speaker 11 (10:10):
Oh, here's a little present for you, but don't open
until tomorrow because they set to go up until then.
Speaker 1 (10:19):
That's mighty sweet of you, Brian.
Speaker 2 (10:28):
I feel pretty bad though I didn't get you nothing.
How would you like a new car?
Speaker 1 (10:32):
Why show? Here's some viable bill's gonna keep you alive
that long? Hey, look over there is a bank.
Speaker 2 (10:39):
I'll go in and get some money.
Speaker 3 (10:41):
And give it to you.
Speaker 1 (10:42):
Oh the bank is closed.
Speaker 2 (10:43):
Well, I wasn't going to make out a withdrawal clip.
Speaker 1 (10:47):
No, I forget it because dead I it's Christmas.
Speaker 11 (10:50):
You don't have to prove to me that under that
dirty shirt beats a good heart.
Speaker 2 (10:55):
But that's why I want to get you something, Bob,
and I.
Speaker 1 (10:58):
Don't want it. You don't know what it is. Twenty
years in this state in.
Speaker 2 (11:03):
No, I won't be no trouble at all.
Speaker 3 (11:05):
Look, there's only one cash in there, in there with
all that lettuce.
Speaker 11 (11:09):
Yeah, but that's old Tim Hotnett, one of the best
shots in these parts.
Speaker 3 (11:14):
Here for their partner. I'm the best shot in these parts.
Watch me like my cigarette shooting it.
Speaker 2 (11:20):
Holy it is.
Speaker 1 (11:22):
Yeah, it's kind of shot, though. You better watch you know.
I prefer the difficult shot. Shit.
Speaker 3 (11:30):
Oh well, things didn't smell too good around here anyway.
Speaker 1 (11:38):
You come on now, just go over there that bank
clerk oh by himself.
Speaker 11 (11:42):
Now, yeah, well, I'll tell you what. You take your
deck of CODs and deal a poker hand. Now, if
I get the best hand, we'll forget about robbing this bank.
Speaker 1 (11:52):
Okay, that's funny. Neighbor.
Speaker 2 (11:55):
Oh there you are five for me and five for you.
Speaker 1 (11:59):
What you got three ages?
Speaker 2 (12:01):
The two came well, santy Claud came early. I got
a pair of sixes.
Speaker 11 (12:08):
Man, a past six is gonna beat two kings and
three ones?
Speaker 2 (12:11):
These do they got pearl handled?
Speaker 3 (12:17):
Man?
Speaker 1 (12:18):
You show his lover. Now, climb up there and keep
them covered.
Speaker 2 (12:22):
Why is he cold?
Speaker 1 (12:23):
Get climbing?
Speaker 2 (12:24):
Willis merry Christmas?
Speaker 1 (12:29):
Merry Christmas? Drink a tree. Don't say that on Halloween.
Speaker 11 (12:41):
Oh gee, I plumb forgot to tell you.
Speaker 2 (12:43):
But this is a stick up.
Speaker 4 (12:45):
Oh yeah, we'll take that.
Speaker 11 (12:49):
Oh, get out the cutting me.
Speaker 2 (12:50):
Well, don't lay there, get on your horse like me,
and let's get out of here.
Speaker 4 (12:59):
Now for the final act of The Red Skeleton Show
from December twenty fourth, nineteen forty six, Chapter.
Speaker 7 (13:06):
Four, Christmas Eve in a child's herd, a home with
a tree, the warm spirit of love and a child
is truly the meaning of peace, honor, goodwill toward men.
Speaker 1 (13:30):
I wonder where Julire is.
Speaker 9 (13:31):
He never stays away this long a pat What did
you get Junior for Christmas?
Speaker 8 (13:37):
I got him what every boy like him should have,
my dear, a muzzle with straight jacket to make.
Speaker 3 (13:46):
Path.
Speaker 1 (13:47):
You didn't, so what's wrong with it?
Speaker 6 (13:50):
I got him the same.
Speaker 2 (13:51):
Thing, by the way, is the boy hung up his
talking heavy.
Speaker 9 (13:57):
Every pair he has doing quite hops to the windtop
from the airport.
Speaker 5 (14:05):
And your safety belt there he is now over there?
Speaker 2 (14:10):
Well where the bins?
Speaker 9 (14:12):
Where did you get all those passes?
Speaker 1 (14:14):
Not showed out?
Speaker 10 (14:15):
Not show it out?
Speaker 2 (14:16):
I think I'm being followed, Judy, there's a man out there.
Speaker 1 (14:22):
Go to heavens.
Speaker 2 (14:24):
Maybe he wants to kidnaps you know? Jup happy?
Speaker 1 (14:30):
Where have you been now?
Speaker 2 (14:31):
Need the corner drug store? Yeah? Have you been worried
about me?
Speaker 7 (14:34):
Have you?
Speaker 2 (14:35):
Yeah? I went down there and I thought I never
get waited. Gun. Hey, you don't have a charge of
count at your drug store?
Speaker 4 (14:40):
Doesn't you know?
Speaker 7 (14:41):
You? Just now?
Speaker 9 (14:45):
I hope you didn't give him a lot of trouble at.
Speaker 2 (14:47):
The drug store. They kept me waiting, show you on that.
When I finally did get waited and I fixed him, boy,
I bought a box of Bobby Paint and made him
gift wrapped ever you want to. That was very nice
of you.
Speaker 9 (15:03):
But do you think Santa Claus would do if he
heard about this?
Speaker 2 (15:06):
I don't care. I didn't get to see him this
year to tell him what I want, and I don't care.
Let it get back to him. I don't care. No,
let him know I is bad. Let him know I
was bad and he had any idea you're bringing me anything?
Speaker 1 (15:20):
Just tell him to forgig about it.
Speaker 3 (15:23):
I'm gonna wait up for him when you're not looking.
I gonna grab him and push him in the closet
and knock.
Speaker 2 (15:27):
Him in there. And they're not going to beat a
noos handy. I'm not going to have big looking win dudes.
Speaker 3 (15:36):
But he with fans on him, great big spike boy,
and they will sneak up and I'm not looking.
Speaker 1 (15:43):
They will.
Speaker 11 (15:48):
Kill me.
Speaker 9 (15:49):
Do No, it's all right, No.
Speaker 7 (15:55):
It's not.
Speaker 1 (15:56):
I said bad thing about ny J.
Speaker 9 (15:59):
Don't worry about did he will forget you say lights
good little boy, That's.
Speaker 1 (16:03):
What I mean.
Speaker 2 (16:06):
I'm a good You can serve me for dinner tomorrow.
Now that's enough. Now, what did you buy for Christmas?
Speaker 1 (16:13):
What did you buy me? Jun?
Speaker 2 (16:14):
Well it's you never guess here.
Speaker 1 (16:18):
It looks like a tie box.
Speaker 2 (16:20):
Well that's what I thought you think it was.
Speaker 3 (16:21):
And you're going to be surpied when you open your
uptional little grandson.
Speaker 9 (16:28):
I'm doing his own shopping, you know, Pat. It's things
like this that makes me sorry.
Speaker 3 (16:33):
I ever grew up.
Speaker 2 (16:34):
Oh you didn't grow up, Grandma, You just grew out.
Speaker 8 (16:39):
Well Burner, my dear, we've taken our age gracefully, still
young and hard. One nice thing about our age. People
no longer tell us we're getting old.
Speaker 7 (16:49):
Yes, very sweet of your pat.
Speaker 2 (16:51):
Boy he's bucking for something. Christmas spirits got him last me, Grandma,
He said, you help poor Revere sadly horse.
Speaker 1 (17:01):
I was only telling the boy a bedtime story.
Speaker 2 (17:04):
J Have you know I'm not that old?
Speaker 9 (17:07):
No, Hey, your braces come on, polls off conting.
Speaker 2 (17:17):
I think it's time for you to go to nine three.
But this is the knife when.
Speaker 11 (17:21):
Said it lost?
Speaker 2 (17:22):
And I don't care. Who are hot people?
Speaker 9 (17:27):
I take this popcorn ball.
Speaker 2 (17:30):
You might want to know on something? Did you make them?
Y Well, it's all assumed you. I just knowing the
bed poles. It's easier on the chine. Oh no, I
start chewing them and I wind up gumming them. Hey,
good night, Grandpa. I hope Stanny Clok bring you what
you wanted.
Speaker 1 (17:46):
Well.
Speaker 4 (17:46):
I asked him to bring me a new Buick Roadmaster.
Speaker 2 (17:49):
Critic a maroon with white wheels. Yep, the cockbo shupping
down when.
Speaker 1 (17:54):
Shy, Oh you dreamer.
Speaker 2 (17:57):
You you know I was going to get a new
bell and howl camera, you know, but every to replace
you Brownie. Yeah, but every time bell put my name down?
Howel rub it up? You're stalled long enough?
Speaker 1 (18:09):
Hurry off to bed.
Speaker 2 (18:10):
Here, Brownie is due here now. Well, I don't think
you'll be coming here. I've been pretty unbearable. Lad, he's
pretty fair. I think he'll overlook a few things. Confusion. Yeah,
but when I close my eyes and see always things.
Guy who wrecked this year? I sort of put that
atomic bomb in the firecracker class.
Speaker 7 (18:25):
You know?
Speaker 2 (18:26):
Well, Mary question, Mary.
Speaker 10 (18:28):
Christmas, here's somebody up on the world.
Speaker 2 (18:54):
Now he's downstairs. You're downstairs. I better go down and
see who it is. I wonder what time it is?
Maybe to stick up the car? Got both hands straight up?
Where's me? Popka? And I'll sneak down and sell them away?
I will I fly down the banister and then.
Speaker 1 (19:07):
You won't hear me.
Speaker 2 (19:09):
I forgot coming more comfortable with Pagama.
Speaker 3 (19:16):
John, Oh, look who you sleeping? You carried the Danny
knows I'm going.
Speaker 1 (19:29):
To pull his beard. And he was really here.
Speaker 2 (19:33):
The build really connected door. Why I pull it these
ears too straight out?
Speaker 1 (19:38):
Well, junior, why aren't you in bed?
Speaker 10 (19:40):
It's late?
Speaker 2 (19:41):
Well, you reindeers broke me up. I didn't think i'd get.
Speaker 1 (19:44):
To see who this year? Right? I missed you down
the department store. Here sit on his lap.
Speaker 2 (19:51):
Boy, you you're is door?
Speaker 1 (19:53):
Thank you? Who built you?
Speaker 2 (19:55):
Shimming boy? You look like a family skee bottle of catch?
If you guys go blood shot blimpy? Oh boy, how
come you went to sleep in the big chair.
Speaker 3 (20:07):
Well, this is the last house on my root. I
wasn't sleeping, just resting my eyes.
Speaker 2 (20:13):
Thinking is you tired, Kenny, clud.
Speaker 1 (20:15):
No, not tired, disillusioned.
Speaker 3 (20:20):
For years I believed that everyone lived with the spirit
of giving in their hearts for three hundred and sixty
five days a year, not just at Christmas time.
Speaker 2 (20:29):
Oh, you don't know the half of a candy clod.
You already sneak up on around summertime. Boy, it's getting show.
People don't even shake hands anymore. You know they can't
get a good enough grip because of the grease palms.
You know you don't know the hack of it. Kenny,
you had tears in your eyes you smoke burning them.
Speaker 3 (20:49):
No, I've been thinking, maybe it'd be better if I
stopped coming back. Oh, stop trying to bring the spirit
of giving into the hearts.
Speaker 1 (20:58):
Of the world.
Speaker 2 (20:58):
Oh shany clok, you can't do. Yeah, you gotta come back.
Speaker 3 (21:02):
So many people you argue, not for what you bring them,
but because you your humber of goodness. But only for
a short time. Tonight I passed the grave of a
boy who fought and gave his life. Tonight, I passed
the park bench where his brother sleeps. Tonight I passed
the house of the man who made both possible. Like
(21:25):
a miser, he's trying to hold the precious destiny of
his fellow men, worshiping not the spirit of Christmas, but
kneeling to the power of greed, haunting the wheels of progress,
betraying all the right to a free government, belittling those
who gave their lifeblood for peace on earth, goodwill toward men,
(21:47):
wishing a merry Christmas to no one.
Speaker 1 (21:52):
Ah, I think it'd be better if I never came
back again.
Speaker 3 (21:56):
Oh, pe cany clues he'd be better, Nick, here, it
will well, I'll think it over.
Speaker 1 (22:04):
Just remember, Junior, greed is the greatest weapon of war.
Speaker 2 (22:09):
Yeah, I know, Ramo cons Chin Snake.
Speaker 1 (22:12):
Well I was getting along. Oh say, I almost forgot
to ask you what do you want for Chris?
Speaker 5 (22:21):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (22:22):
Well, now you are going to playing the main goodness
for who. I ain't been very good this year, and
I won't ask for anything. That'll probably be the best
thing I've done this year.
Speaker 1 (22:34):
I don't think you've been that bad.
Speaker 2 (22:36):
You is tired, didn't you?
Speaker 4 (22:39):
Now?
Speaker 1 (22:40):
Just reach in the back and get whatever you want.
Speaker 2 (22:43):
Okay, anything will beat that piece junk you.
Speaker 1 (22:44):
Brought me that year by that was a joke, it
is now.
Speaker 2 (22:50):
Hey, what kind of book is this?
Speaker 3 (22:51):
What kind of books you like to have? It seems
like a lot of folks are asking for comics books
this year.
Speaker 2 (22:57):
Yeah, they've been so hard to get during the war.
Speaker 1 (22:59):
They all went there.
Speaker 2 (23:00):
Oh yes, you know.
Speaker 3 (23:07):
Well, Mary Cobley, I gotta be going, and my wife
will be wondering what's becoming?
Speaker 9 (23:12):
You have that trouble too.
Speaker 2 (23:13):
I'll run upstairs and.
Speaker 11 (23:14):
What you take of this?
Speaker 2 (23:16):
Boy? Oh boy boy?
Speaker 1 (23:18):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (23:18):
Look at them reindeers. They look like pony with hall
trees in their heads.
Speaker 1 (23:24):
I feel much better.
Speaker 2 (23:26):
I'll be watching my day were report for more brotherly love? Sure?
Speaker 5 (23:31):
Half along?
Speaker 2 (23:32):
I give me back. Then Gordy very quick, m Mary
quick quick,
Red and tell me.
Speaker 2 (00:12):
Thank you very much, and Merry Christmas, ladies, And definitely
they're all over the cast is applauding. Wait till they
open up their presence, they won't be.
Speaker 3 (00:22):
Now, you know, three rd nine o three and Merry Christmas.
You right, well here it is Christmas.
Speaker 2 (00:26):
Yeah, and you know I don't And you know what
I'm gonna.
Speaker 4 (00:28):
Give you, no, Redd, I haven't the slightest idea.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
And then we're even neither of.
Speaker 4 (00:31):
I won't say. I heard johny Eddie Canner program last night.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
Oh yeah, Hey, you know who's a great guy to
is this Harry von Zel? He laughs at everything that
Canner says.
Speaker 4 (00:41):
You know, well, I can laugh as hard as Harry
von Zel.
Speaker 3 (00:44):
See you go ahead, I'll say something funny like cannor
I'm dead.
Speaker 4 (00:50):
Now I'm getting read. It was really some show.
Speaker 2 (00:52):
Yeah, there's a real comedian, Eddie Canner me me, but
he's been on the air a long time. Yew. When
Eddie first went on the radio, Mark Cooney was just
thinking of the idea when.
Speaker 3 (01:04):
You first went on the radio, you sorry you ever
thought of it? You know, it must have been exciting
being on the air with Eddie Canner. He discovered a
lot of talent Manna Durban Dinah show.
Speaker 2 (01:13):
Yeah, Sophie Tucker, John.
Speaker 4 (01:18):
John Wilkes Booth, Wait a second, how long has he
been in Chown.
Speaker 2 (01:25):
Eddie Cannon. Let's see, well, let's see. Lincoln was shot
in sixty. I took a bath from twenty two. I
don't know. It's been a long.
Speaker 1 (01:35):
Time, you know.
Speaker 3 (01:36):
I thought it was cute the way you played Junior
and Eddie played your father. Yeah. Here I got a
nice card, Eddie Canner.
Speaker 1 (01:41):
I read it for you, says dear Rid.
Speaker 2 (01:43):
Thanks for being Junior on our show. We really love
Junior and we all want him to return the microphone.
I had to turn the face. We're all joking aside,
ladies and Jeff when everyone kids Eddie Canner about his
big eyes, but very seldom anything is said about the
big hand that he has. It's always ready to reach
(02:05):
out and give help to some unfortunate person. Anita Ellis
Singh's toy Land by Victor Herbert.
Speaker 5 (02:54):
Ball joy.
Speaker 6 (03:17):
Step never to pass its birth, and then you drew within.
Speaker 1 (04:04):
The shop.
Speaker 5 (04:11):
John Sigmato line, It's for.
Speaker 3 (04:56):
To night, the stories and the scoffing scrap book of
fat tire are about Christmas. If you'd rather have the
deeper type of Christmas stories, you can go to.
Speaker 1 (05:03):
The Dickens.
Speaker 7 (05:06):
Chap your wine the black Market Christmas.
Speaker 3 (05:19):
Good evening there, friend, Merry Christmas and welcome to the
Sweet Tooth Candy Kitchen.
Speaker 4 (05:24):
Are you a battle.
Speaker 1 (05:25):
For shack Nasty?
Speaker 2 (05:26):
Well, if I ain't some guy sure running around with
a horrible name.
Speaker 8 (05:29):
I know, well Ben Ruben the newsboys at me. Oh yes,
he told me you might have some bubble gumers.
Speaker 1 (05:38):
Run so low note so loud.
Speaker 3 (05:40):
Stepping to the back of the store. We the boys
just smuggling in this morning. The boys, Yeah, you know.
Speaker 1 (05:47):
The gum runners. Is this safe at black market?
Speaker 9 (05:53):
No?
Speaker 2 (05:53):
This is more of a tannetale gray, But I can't
take any chances just talking out in the open. I
was run in last week for cutting up extinction cords
and selling them to near sighted kids for liquorage. Now, well,
what's on your mind?
Speaker 1 (06:11):
Huh?
Speaker 8 (06:12):
Well, I'd like to get a box of bubble gums
my grandsons for chrystal.
Speaker 2 (06:16):
Yes, what gold mine do you own? Well? How much
does it run? Two dollars a bull.
Speaker 1 (06:27):
Two dollars A yeah.
Speaker 2 (06:29):
That's providing you take a few sticks of the other
brands of gums.
Speaker 3 (06:31):
See, we're operating the way the liquor stores. Do you
buy one bottle of good stuff, you gotta get some
of that butt cut.
Speaker 2 (06:40):
Wood it, you know. You know, at that price I
can buy.
Speaker 1 (06:47):
A new car.
Speaker 2 (06:48):
You'd be surprised how many people are buying gum this
year instead of car.
Speaker 1 (06:54):
That seems ridiculous to.
Speaker 4 (06:55):
Pay that much.
Speaker 5 (06:55):
Put Well, I'll tell you what I do have.
Speaker 2 (06:57):
You might be interested in some use.
Speaker 9 (06:59):
Bubble gum.
Speaker 3 (07:01):
Might be able to scrape you up a bunks of
that sporty.
Speaker 1 (07:05):
Well, where do you get it?
Speaker 2 (07:07):
From the seats after it kid his met in egg?
Speaker 3 (07:09):
Yeah, but from the Beverly Hills hitching post to eat it.
This ain't that rip rap stuff, you know, you.
Speaker 2 (07:16):
Know the movie carts, the movie star kids is then
they're difference. You know, as soon as the sugar's out
of the gum, they're ready for a new chew. They
don't go in for the sport of blowing it and
popping it.
Speaker 8 (07:30):
Well, I guess i'd better get some of the fresh
bubble gum. Good for you, Good for you Christmas on
cons that's right here we are. Well, now tell me,
Are there any instructions for the gum? My grandson's only
four years old and he's never seen anything.
Speaker 3 (07:46):
Well, all he has to do the boar bubble is
to breathe through the nose and out through the mouth.
I'll be showing you get that straight, because if he
does it the other way around, he's gonna be in trouble.
Speaker 2 (08:01):
Here, I'll give you. I'll give you a demonstration. One
size head does your grandson's hat?
Speaker 1 (08:07):
Why?
Speaker 3 (08:08):
Well, I want to give you an idea of how
the bubble gum is going to look hanging out of
his kisses. You see, if it's not just right, the
size is not right, the loss is too great. When
it popped, it gets in their hair, all over their faces,
shuts off their breathing. Well, he wears a size three hat.
Speaker 1 (08:28):
What they kid got for a head?
Speaker 2 (08:29):
Grape fruit? I'll have to chew this stuff up around
and get some of the kinks out of it. Oh there,
what my fun?
Speaker 1 (08:41):
Now?
Speaker 9 (08:41):
Watch this button?
Speaker 1 (08:44):
Hey?
Speaker 4 (08:44):
It has nice texture, doesn't it?
Speaker 10 (08:46):
Fifty one gate.
Speaker 2 (08:50):
Makes a nice your bubble? Don't you think.
Speaker 4 (08:53):
You better step back?
Speaker 2 (08:54):
This may be a little moist orized. Well, would you
mind if I a step into the throom. It's it's
getting on my coat, the twentiest singing. Poppa's out of
my head, getting fight of here. And I knew if
I stayed in this business long enough, I've blow.
Speaker 1 (09:13):
Him a top.
Speaker 3 (09:16):
Chapter two.
Speaker 7 (09:17):
Christmas is even the stage brush country.
Speaker 2 (09:26):
Whoo whoo.
Speaker 1 (09:36):
Why don't you just say stop? That's why?
Speaker 2 (09:44):
Hey, don't the town look pretty? I like the way
they got them trees decorated hanging from him here it
is Christmas evening. I'm penels. Ain't you going to spend
Christmas with you?
Speaker 4 (09:58):
That?
Speaker 2 (09:59):
No, they won't let me.
Speaker 1 (10:00):
And alcatrac No, is he still on the rock? He's
been there ever since? It was a bebbel.
Speaker 4 (10:08):
Well, I remembered you this time, dead eye.
Speaker 11 (10:10):
Oh, here's a little present for you, but don't open
until tomorrow because they set to go up until then.
Speaker 1 (10:19):
That's mighty sweet of you, Brian.
Speaker 2 (10:28):
I feel pretty bad though I didn't get you nothing.
How would you like a new car?
Speaker 1 (10:32):
Why show? Here's some viable bill's gonna keep you alive
that long? Hey, look over there is a bank.
Speaker 2 (10:39):
I'll go in and get some money.
Speaker 3 (10:41):
And give it to you.
Speaker 1 (10:42):
Oh the bank is closed.
Speaker 2 (10:43):
Well, I wasn't going to make out a withdrawal clip.
Speaker 1 (10:47):
No, I forget it because dead I it's Christmas.
Speaker 11 (10:50):
You don't have to prove to me that under that
dirty shirt beats a good heart.
Speaker 2 (10:55):
But that's why I want to get you something, Bob,
and I.
Speaker 1 (10:58):
Don't want it. You don't know what it is. Twenty
years in this state in.
Speaker 2 (11:03):
No, I won't be no trouble at all.
Speaker 3 (11:05):
Look, there's only one cash in there, in there with
all that lettuce.
Speaker 11 (11:09):
Yeah, but that's old Tim Hotnett, one of the best
shots in these parts.
Speaker 3 (11:14):
Here for their partner. I'm the best shot in these parts.
Watch me like my cigarette shooting it.
Speaker 2 (11:20):
Holy it is.
Speaker 1 (11:22):
Yeah, it's kind of shot, though. You better watch you know.
I prefer the difficult shot. Shit.
Speaker 3 (11:30):
Oh well, things didn't smell too good around here anyway.
Speaker 1 (11:38):
You come on now, just go over there that bank
clerk oh by himself.
Speaker 11 (11:42):
Now, yeah, well, I'll tell you what. You take your
deck of CODs and deal a poker hand. Now, if
I get the best hand, we'll forget about robbing this bank.
Speaker 1 (11:52):
Okay, that's funny. Neighbor.
Speaker 2 (11:55):
Oh there you are five for me and five for you.
Speaker 1 (11:59):
What you got three ages?
Speaker 2 (12:01):
The two came well, santy Claud came early. I got
a pair of sixes.
Speaker 11 (12:08):
Man, a past six is gonna beat two kings and
three ones?
Speaker 2 (12:11):
These do they got pearl handled?
Speaker 3 (12:17):
Man?
Speaker 1 (12:18):
You show his lover. Now, climb up there and keep
them covered.
Speaker 2 (12:22):
Why is he cold?
Speaker 1 (12:23):
Get climbing?
Speaker 2 (12:24):
Willis merry Christmas?
Speaker 1 (12:29):
Merry Christmas? Drink a tree. Don't say that on Halloween.
Speaker 11 (12:41):
Oh gee, I plumb forgot to tell you.
Speaker 2 (12:43):
But this is a stick up.
Speaker 4 (12:45):
Oh yeah, we'll take that.
Speaker 11 (12:49):
Oh, get out the cutting me.
Speaker 2 (12:50):
Well, don't lay there, get on your horse like me,
and let's get out of here.
Speaker 4 (12:59):
Now for the final act of The Red Skeleton Show
from December twenty fourth, nineteen forty six, Chapter.
Speaker 7 (13:06):
Four, Christmas Eve in a child's herd, a home with
a tree, the warm spirit of love and a child
is truly the meaning of peace, honor, goodwill toward men.
Speaker 1 (13:30):
I wonder where Julire is.
Speaker 9 (13:31):
He never stays away this long a pat What did
you get Junior for Christmas?
Speaker 8 (13:37):
I got him what every boy like him should have,
my dear, a muzzle with straight jacket to make.
Speaker 3 (13:46):
Path.
Speaker 1 (13:47):
You didn't, so what's wrong with it?
Speaker 6 (13:50):
I got him the same.
Speaker 2 (13:51):
Thing, by the way, is the boy hung up his
talking heavy.
Speaker 9 (13:57):
Every pair he has doing quite hops to the windtop
from the airport.
Speaker 5 (14:05):
And your safety belt there he is now over there?
Speaker 2 (14:10):
Well where the bins?
Speaker 9 (14:12):
Where did you get all those passes?
Speaker 1 (14:14):
Not showed out?
Speaker 10 (14:15):
Not show it out?
Speaker 2 (14:16):
I think I'm being followed, Judy, there's a man out there.
Speaker 1 (14:22):
Go to heavens.
Speaker 2 (14:24):
Maybe he wants to kidnaps you know? Jup happy?
Speaker 1 (14:30):
Where have you been now?
Speaker 2 (14:31):
Need the corner drug store? Yeah? Have you been worried
about me?
Speaker 7 (14:34):
Have you?
Speaker 2 (14:35):
Yeah? I went down there and I thought I never
get waited. Gun. Hey, you don't have a charge of
count at your drug store?
Speaker 4 (14:40):
Doesn't you know?
Speaker 7 (14:41):
You? Just now?
Speaker 9 (14:45):
I hope you didn't give him a lot of trouble at.
Speaker 2 (14:47):
The drug store. They kept me waiting, show you on that.
When I finally did get waited and I fixed him, boy,
I bought a box of Bobby Paint and made him
gift wrapped ever you want to. That was very nice
of you.
Speaker 9 (15:03):
But do you think Santa Claus would do if he
heard about this?
Speaker 2 (15:06):
I don't care. I didn't get to see him this
year to tell him what I want, and I don't care.
Let it get back to him. I don't care. No,
let him know I is bad. Let him know I
was bad and he had any idea you're bringing me anything?
Speaker 1 (15:20):
Just tell him to forgig about it.
Speaker 3 (15:23):
I'm gonna wait up for him when you're not looking.
I gonna grab him and push him in the closet
and knock.
Speaker 2 (15:27):
Him in there. And they're not going to beat a
noos handy. I'm not going to have big looking win dudes.
Speaker 3 (15:36):
But he with fans on him, great big spike boy,
and they will sneak up and I'm not looking.
Speaker 1 (15:43):
They will.
Speaker 11 (15:48):
Kill me.
Speaker 9 (15:49):
Do No, it's all right, No.
Speaker 7 (15:55):
It's not.
Speaker 1 (15:56):
I said bad thing about ny J.
Speaker 9 (15:59):
Don't worry about did he will forget you say lights
good little boy, That's.
Speaker 1 (16:03):
What I mean.
Speaker 2 (16:06):
I'm a good You can serve me for dinner tomorrow.
Now that's enough. Now, what did you buy for Christmas?
Speaker 1 (16:13):
What did you buy me? Jun?
Speaker 2 (16:14):
Well it's you never guess here.
Speaker 1 (16:18):
It looks like a tie box.
Speaker 2 (16:20):
Well that's what I thought you think it was.
Speaker 3 (16:21):
And you're going to be surpied when you open your
uptional little grandson.
Speaker 9 (16:28):
I'm doing his own shopping, you know, Pat. It's things
like this that makes me sorry.
Speaker 3 (16:33):
I ever grew up.
Speaker 2 (16:34):
Oh you didn't grow up, Grandma, You just grew out.
Speaker 8 (16:39):
Well Burner, my dear, we've taken our age gracefully, still
young and hard. One nice thing about our age. People
no longer tell us we're getting old.
Speaker 7 (16:49):
Yes, very sweet of your pat.
Speaker 2 (16:51):
Boy he's bucking for something. Christmas spirits got him last me, Grandma,
He said, you help poor Revere sadly horse.
Speaker 1 (17:01):
I was only telling the boy a bedtime story.
Speaker 2 (17:04):
J Have you know I'm not that old?
Speaker 9 (17:07):
No, Hey, your braces come on, polls off conting.
Speaker 2 (17:17):
I think it's time for you to go to nine three.
But this is the knife when.
Speaker 11 (17:21):
Said it lost?
Speaker 2 (17:22):
And I don't care. Who are hot people?
Speaker 9 (17:27):
I take this popcorn ball.
Speaker 2 (17:30):
You might want to know on something? Did you make them?
Y Well, it's all assumed you. I just knowing the
bed poles. It's easier on the chine. Oh no, I
start chewing them and I wind up gumming them. Hey,
good night, Grandpa. I hope Stanny Clok bring you what
you wanted.
Speaker 1 (17:46):
Well.
Speaker 4 (17:46):
I asked him to bring me a new Buick Roadmaster.
Speaker 2 (17:49):
Critic a maroon with white wheels. Yep, the cockbo shupping
down when.
Speaker 1 (17:54):
Shy, Oh you dreamer.
Speaker 2 (17:57):
You you know I was going to get a new
bell and howl camera, you know, but every to replace
you Brownie. Yeah, but every time bell put my name down?
Howel rub it up? You're stalled long enough?
Speaker 1 (18:09):
Hurry off to bed.
Speaker 2 (18:10):
Here, Brownie is due here now. Well, I don't think
you'll be coming here. I've been pretty unbearable. Lad, he's
pretty fair. I think he'll overlook a few things. Confusion. Yeah,
but when I close my eyes and see always things.
Guy who wrecked this year? I sort of put that
atomic bomb in the firecracker class.
Speaker 7 (18:25):
You know?
Speaker 2 (18:26):
Well, Mary question, Mary.
Speaker 10 (18:28):
Christmas, here's somebody up on the world.
Speaker 2 (18:54):
Now he's downstairs. You're downstairs. I better go down and
see who it is. I wonder what time it is?
Maybe to stick up the car? Got both hands straight up?
Where's me? Popka? And I'll sneak down and sell them away?
I will I fly down the banister and then.
Speaker 1 (19:07):
You won't hear me.
Speaker 2 (19:09):
I forgot coming more comfortable with Pagama.
Speaker 3 (19:16):
John, Oh, look who you sleeping? You carried the Danny
knows I'm going.
Speaker 1 (19:29):
To pull his beard. And he was really here.
Speaker 2 (19:33):
The build really connected door. Why I pull it these
ears too straight out?
Speaker 1 (19:38):
Well, junior, why aren't you in bed?
Speaker 10 (19:40):
It's late?
Speaker 2 (19:41):
Well, you reindeers broke me up. I didn't think i'd get.
Speaker 1 (19:44):
To see who this year? Right? I missed you down
the department store. Here sit on his lap.
Speaker 2 (19:51):
Boy, you you're is door?
Speaker 1 (19:53):
Thank you? Who built you?
Speaker 2 (19:55):
Shimming boy? You look like a family skee bottle of catch?
If you guys go blood shot blimpy? Oh boy, how
come you went to sleep in the big chair.
Speaker 3 (20:07):
Well, this is the last house on my root. I
wasn't sleeping, just resting my eyes.
Speaker 2 (20:13):
Thinking is you tired, Kenny, clud.
Speaker 1 (20:15):
No, not tired, disillusioned.
Speaker 3 (20:20):
For years I believed that everyone lived with the spirit
of giving in their hearts for three hundred and sixty
five days a year, not just at Christmas time.
Speaker 2 (20:29):
Oh, you don't know the half of a candy clod.
You already sneak up on around summertime. Boy, it's getting show.
People don't even shake hands anymore. You know they can't
get a good enough grip because of the grease palms.
You know you don't know the hack of it. Kenny,
you had tears in your eyes you smoke burning them.
Speaker 3 (20:49):
No, I've been thinking, maybe it'd be better if I
stopped coming back. Oh, stop trying to bring the spirit
of giving into the hearts.
Speaker 1 (20:58):
Of the world.
Speaker 2 (20:58):
Oh shany clok, you can't do. Yeah, you gotta come back.
Speaker 3 (21:02):
So many people you argue, not for what you bring them,
but because you your humber of goodness. But only for
a short time. Tonight I passed the grave of a
boy who fought and gave his life. Tonight, I passed
the park bench where his brother sleeps. Tonight I passed
the house of the man who made both possible. Like
(21:25):
a miser, he's trying to hold the precious destiny of
his fellow men, worshiping not the spirit of Christmas, but
kneeling to the power of greed, haunting the wheels of progress,
betraying all the right to a free government, belittling those
who gave their lifeblood for peace on earth, goodwill toward men,
(21:47):
wishing a merry Christmas to no one.
Speaker 1 (21:52):
Ah, I think it'd be better if I never came
back again.
Speaker 3 (21:56):
Oh, pe cany clues he'd be better, Nick, here, it
will well, I'll think it over.
Speaker 1 (22:04):
Just remember, Junior, greed is the greatest weapon of war.
Speaker 2 (22:09):
Yeah, I know, Ramo cons Chin Snake.
Speaker 1 (22:12):
Well I was getting along. Oh say, I almost forgot
to ask you what do you want for Chris?
Speaker 5 (22:21):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (22:22):
Well, now you are going to playing the main goodness
for who. I ain't been very good this year, and
I won't ask for anything. That'll probably be the best
thing I've done this year.
Speaker 1 (22:34):
I don't think you've been that bad.
Speaker 2 (22:36):
You is tired, didn't you?
Speaker 4 (22:39):
Now?
Speaker 1 (22:40):
Just reach in the back and get whatever you want.
Speaker 2 (22:43):
Okay, anything will beat that piece junk you.
Speaker 1 (22:44):
Brought me that year by that was a joke, it
is now.
Speaker 2 (22:50):
Hey, what kind of book is this?
Speaker 3 (22:51):
What kind of books you like to have? It seems
like a lot of folks are asking for comics books
this year.
Speaker 2 (22:57):
Yeah, they've been so hard to get during the war.
Speaker 1 (22:59):
They all went there.
Speaker 2 (23:00):
Oh yes, you know.
Speaker 3 (23:07):
Well, Mary Cobley, I gotta be going, and my wife
will be wondering what's becoming?
Speaker 9 (23:12):
You have that trouble too.
Speaker 2 (23:13):
I'll run upstairs and.
Speaker 11 (23:14):
What you take of this?
Speaker 2 (23:16):
Boy? Oh boy boy?
Speaker 1 (23:18):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (23:18):
Look at them reindeers. They look like pony with hall
trees in their heads.
Speaker 1 (23:24):
I feel much better.
Speaker 2 (23:26):
I'll be watching my day were report for more brotherly love? Sure?
Speaker 5 (23:31):
Half along?
Speaker 2 (23:32):
I give me back. Then Gordy very quick, m Mary
quick quick,
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