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May 29, 2025 • 29 mins
A comedy-variety show featuring the titular comedian's array of characters and sketches, delivering laughter through slapstick and satire. The show's humor appeals to a broad audience.
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Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
If you need a vacations called you're feeling kind of blue,
get some no rings tied.

Speaker 2 (00:09):
Nick's Fortey will do the work for you.

Speaker 3 (00:14):
Time Rest five from Hollywood.

Speaker 4 (00:17):
Rocor Gambell's Tide, The Washington Miracle that gives you the
cleanest clothes in Town proudly presents the Red Skeleton Shock
with Red Skeleton David Raws this Orchestralerne toddle Adlemeil, Pat mcgehan,

(00:41):
and Zick Ryan will be me Rod o'codd from the
Skeleton scrap Book of Satire a story entitled The Flight
to London and it stars MGM's Lendley's.

Speaker 3 (00:57):
Comedian Red Skeletons.

Speaker 2 (01:07):
Should be Lynn Lez.

Speaker 3 (01:09):
She Red just thinking a couple of hours will be
on our way to London.

Speaker 2 (01:12):
Way to London, I say, can I borrow shirt, shoes
and stockness? Have anything? I got?

Speaker 3 (01:22):
How you thinks for porthole? Well? Red, how do you
like being in New York?

Speaker 5 (01:30):
Oh?

Speaker 4 (01:31):
I think it's well, you know, New York is different
from Hollywood. People in Manhattan seem to be in sect,
to hurry, always rushing around. But back in Hollywood people
don't seem to rush. They just lay there, try to
get the license play to the car that hit him
yet Yeah, I added lunch over to the automatic.

Speaker 2 (01:49):
Over to the automatic. Wait, damn, a cowboy, I.

Speaker 4 (01:57):
Can't read it.

Speaker 2 (02:00):
I like the exclusive restly.

Speaker 3 (02:03):
I like to eat there too. You know, it's fun
putting a coin in the slot and opening a little
glass door and taking your food out.

Speaker 6 (02:08):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (02:08):
When I got to the dessert, I ran out of chain,
so I put in a lead slug in the pie slot.

Speaker 3 (02:13):
You used the lead slug?

Speaker 2 (02:14):
Did it worked? Yeah? I got a piece of lead. Fie.
What have you been doing well?

Speaker 3 (02:19):
I rode on the subway this morning.

Speaker 2 (02:21):
Oh it was it crowded.

Speaker 3 (02:22):
Yeah, and I was the only one on it.

Speaker 2 (02:36):
You want to do something about your weight.

Speaker 3 (02:38):
You know.

Speaker 2 (02:39):
It was a little embarrassing flying from California with you.

Speaker 4 (02:41):
Why they had to put on an extra pair of
wings on the plane, and then it had it factory
to Kansas City.

Speaker 2 (02:52):
When it got to Independence, it lifted its nose and
went light up. I'll put that one in.

Speaker 3 (03:08):
Yeah, but I don't read. This is in the proper
place to bring this up. But next fall you're going
on television. I was wondering whether.

Speaker 2 (03:15):
You've got a place for me or not stop flicking
my hand. Sure you're gonna go places, you better start.
It's gonna be dark before you get there.

Speaker 3 (03:27):
Oh, you're story because you didn't like the way they
didn't make over you enough when you arrived in town.

Speaker 2 (03:32):
Oh I wouldn't say that. Oh No, I wouldn't.

Speaker 3 (03:36):
I would barely tis.

Speaker 2 (03:39):
You know why I wouldn't say it. No, I read
it at rehearsal. I don't like it, say read Have
you noticed the time?

Speaker 4 (03:49):
Our plane takes off for England in an hour and
we've got to meet Georgia and Sylvie at the airport
to be Yeah, you know I.

Speaker 2 (03:56):
I still get her name every time I see it.

Speaker 3 (03:59):
I think it's Sliva.

Speaker 2 (04:06):
Yeah, I say, I say things like that. He goes on.

Speaker 3 (04:08):
He says, Hello, dear, hurry up, let's get going.

Speaker 2 (04:12):
Okay, I'll be right with you.

Speaker 4 (04:13):
I'm going to put a quarter on the radio and
maybe we can hear Dave Rose's orchestra and his latest
recording of the syncopated.

Speaker 6 (04:19):
Clock eighty clocks. You did say what you think of.

Speaker 2 (06:07):
Baby class.

Speaker 6 (06:52):
T shirt?

Speaker 2 (06:56):
I wear the cleanest shirts in town. There isn't any.

Speaker 4 (06:59):
Doubts that all my shirts are washed with tie cause
when Tide's in dirts.

Speaker 2 (07:04):
Out, tiede gets cloth clean than any soap, any soap
yet soap.

Speaker 1 (07:09):
You get the cleanest washed down with Tide.

Speaker 7 (07:14):
Yes, ma'am seeing it, or just plane say it. Tide
gives you the cleanest wash in town. The reason Tide
is the amazing miracle product that not only gets ordinary
dirt out of your clothes, but also removes dulling soap film.
You see, We've tested Tide in the laboratory against all
kinds of soaps, and the test results are always the same.

(07:36):
Tide gets closed cleaner than any other washing products sold
throughout America. But millions of you women have proved that
washing and rinsing your own clothes, You've seen the Tide
miracle in the cleaner clothes your children wear, Your cleaner
sheets and towels. You've seen how kind tied is to
your hands too. Next wash day, be sure you use

(07:59):
tie and you hang up the cleanest wash in town.

Speaker 8 (08:05):
I guess that any so you get the cleanest washing town.
Fifty Dylan.

Speaker 3 (08:19):
Ge boy, this LaGuardia Field, Is youre some airport?

Speaker 4 (08:35):
I'll say, really a big place. I hope all of
our gangs here. Hey, look they got a brass stand
down here to give me a big Sindo.

Speaker 3 (08:48):
I got news for you.

Speaker 4 (08:49):
The band serenading San Fernando Retz. He's just getting on
the plane there. Oh thank you, thank you, Louis a serenade.
Guys playing like they hate patrol of my friends, and
you are my friends. I have always said, not a
friend in need is a friend in debt.

Speaker 2 (09:14):
You'll never know what it does to me to.

Speaker 4 (09:16):
See all you gathered here to bid me farewell when
I'm not happy to see all you city officials present,
the police Commissioner of the DA, the Funko squad. But
don't worry, I'm getting out of town. Many of you

(09:38):
may be wondering why I'm leaving this country. It is
not because I expected to be arrested. It's not because
I was running over city funds.

Speaker 2 (09:47):
It ain't that serious. I'm just planning being.

Speaker 3 (09:49):
Deported, that's right.

Speaker 4 (09:52):
The purpose of this trip to go abroad is to
report to you, fellow Americans, just what's coming off in Europe.

Speaker 2 (09:59):
And when I get the.

Speaker 4 (10:00):
Paris, I'll go to that police vigier every night. This
is not a political trip. My expenses are not being
paid by you.

Speaker 2 (10:08):
Taxpayers. This is money I stole myself. Just remember I
was born a poor boy, and I will die poor.

Speaker 4 (10:22):
But in between I'm going to be as rich as
I know how. I'll see that there are some of
the gentlemen from the press and the ladies from the press.

Speaker 2 (10:31):
Your honors.

Speaker 8 (10:32):
I'm a reporter from the New York Bugle. Blow Now, really,
my paper supported you in the last election.

Speaker 2 (10:46):
Your editor thinks I'm a man from the office.

Speaker 8 (10:48):
Huh oh, yes, indeed he has pictures of you all
over the walls of his sadde self.

Speaker 2 (10:56):
There's nothing like having a voter nuts a boxing.

Speaker 4 (11:01):
You stand on the crime situation. In this contry, crime
don't pay. Take it from me, Crime does not pay.
I know I barely made expenses last year.

Speaker 3 (11:24):
Well there goes San Fernando Redy.

Speaker 2 (11:27):
I wonder where Georgia and your wife Sylvia. I keep
saying that because your kids are just putting each other.

Speaker 3 (11:38):
Well, stop worrying, Rad. They've got a half, are you saying?
Look at that quaint little couple coming this way.

Speaker 2 (11:43):
Yeah, they look English. Look at him.

Speaker 4 (11:45):
What a strange place to wear a monocle in the
hole in his head, I say, old thing, I am
not the thing.

Speaker 2 (11:55):
My god, I'm Lord Jumpkins and this is Lady Jumpkin
like like like white good night folks. Were a little later?

Speaker 6 (12:10):
Does she bite?

Speaker 2 (12:14):
I say, you guys really don't need money, and it's bad.
I say, your face, your face, you look very, very familiar.
I carry around with me all the time. Tell me something.

(12:38):
Ain't you in the cinema? Ain't you in the.

Speaker 4 (12:44):
Wats our Diplomatic Relation? Yes, I'm red skeleton Skeleton.

Speaker 2 (12:56):
You say you're red skeleton.

Speaker 3 (12:58):
Yeah, you held that tamil hold you.

Speaker 2 (13:13):
You must have come in handy during the airy.

Speaker 3 (13:25):
Hey Red, don't look now.

Speaker 2 (13:26):
But isn't that Willie Lump Lump and his wife over there?
Really aren't you excited about going to Europe? Well, aren't you?

Speaker 9 (13:40):
Aren't you?

Speaker 2 (13:42):
Shet up?

Speaker 10 (13:47):
You snuffed at me.

Speaker 5 (13:49):
I'm hungry, kids, I'm made a quickly nasty mood today,
A quickly nasty mood.

Speaker 2 (13:59):
I got up on the wrong side of the gutter
this morning.

Speaker 4 (14:04):
Really, are you sure this is a gate for every
board the plane?

Speaker 2 (14:08):
Iron, Billy? What's gotten into you? Six martinis? I don't
even need this plane. I can fly this clip for
my role.

Speaker 4 (14:22):
Now, Billy, you promised me that when we got to
New York, you wouldn't touch a drop.

Speaker 2 (14:26):
I didn't touch it.

Speaker 7 (14:27):
I dh willy for two cents, I'd leave you right now.

Speaker 2 (14:33):
What a time to be dead broken? Chance have a
way away planning to Dare you talk to me that way?
I like to live. Are you forgetting that?

Speaker 8 (14:49):
I'm going to Europe because I inherited the title.

Speaker 4 (14:55):
I am going to be one of the nobility.

Speaker 2 (15:00):
People said I had no ability for an time.

Speaker 3 (15:13):
Be known as Lady Loop Loop?

Speaker 2 (15:19):
Lad, what is that a mystical title? You know what
this means, don't you? You will have to shave off
your mustage with my royal titles.

Speaker 3 (15:38):
I'll also inherit.

Speaker 4 (15:39):
The castle and a good deal of money, and if
I die, it all.

Speaker 2 (15:44):
Goes to you. Really, you're not listening to me.

Speaker 8 (15:50):
What's on your mind?

Speaker 2 (15:55):
That's the name of this sketch. I sneak and old your.

Speaker 3 (16:00):
Board all right now?

Speaker 4 (16:10):
Stop fidgeting. The gang will show up on time, I hope.
So say, I want to who that guy has crossed
behind those bushes over there? Why it's Cauliflower mcpug, the
punchy fighter that's always hearing fellsand birds high cauliflowers, I don't.

Speaker 2 (16:25):
Hurry, come behind the duck line with me. A flock
of them are gonna come in for a land, and
I'm getting ready to cute them. I'm gonna cute every
one of them. I'm getting tired of looking in at him.
Boy boi boie hooey, I'm gonna cute him a flower?

Speaker 3 (16:39):
Are you nuts? There aren't any duck around here here?

Speaker 4 (16:43):
He can.

Speaker 2 (16:46):
What you're done?

Speaker 4 (16:46):
Now?

Speaker 3 (16:46):
You geared them away?

Speaker 2 (16:48):
I heck a beat on them.

Speaker 4 (16:50):
Those weren't docks, those were jet planes. Didn't you see
the fire shooting out of their tails?

Speaker 2 (16:55):
Oh?

Speaker 6 (16:55):
I thought somebody put too much thrown on them.

Speaker 2 (17:05):
Hey, I wonder who could be phoning me at this hour?

Speaker 3 (17:08):
If I get hold of yourself, Well, get hold of yourself.

Speaker 2 (17:12):
Why am I trying to me down?

Speaker 3 (17:18):
Cauliflower? Not changing the subject, but what are you doing
at the airport?

Speaker 2 (17:22):
And when you heard I'm going to fight in England?
It's going to be quite an experience. I've never been
knocked out.

Speaker 3 (17:26):
With a britty geck.

Speaker 6 (17:27):
Didn't you do?

Speaker 4 (17:29):
Well?

Speaker 3 (17:29):
Do you think you'll like it? It's a'll be foggy
in England.

Speaker 2 (17:32):
I could deal right at home. I've been living in a.

Speaker 6 (17:34):
Fog all my night.

Speaker 2 (17:36):
The boy a flock I'm flew over that time. Hey,
I'm flying over there, you tee. Personally, i'd read a walk.

Speaker 4 (17:45):
I love to walk, you t because everythin I started fighting,
I don't tell him I'm on my feet.

Speaker 3 (17:50):
Well, you can't walk to England. Do you know how
far away it is?

Speaker 2 (17:53):
Well, it can't be too far. I can hear Big
Ben awful Green.

Speaker 3 (18:00):
Tell me who you gonna fight in England?

Speaker 2 (18:01):
Oh, a pretty good boy. The title holder got.

Speaker 1 (18:04):
Plenty rugged, plenty rugged to They call him a Bonnie
Prince Charlie.

Speaker 3 (18:10):
Bonnie Prince Charlie. He's only two years old.

Speaker 2 (18:13):
I still think I can take him. Say, if you
got too big, Tony, I want to tip this boy?

Speaker 5 (18:22):
Here?

Speaker 2 (18:23):
What boy?

Speaker 3 (18:23):
I don't see any boy?

Speaker 2 (18:24):
This guy carried my bag? Then can he keeps standing
in the back of me rattling key though? I won't
forget to tipping me. But he's a twenty king.

Speaker 9 (18:32):
Every time I turned him in, he's never.

Speaker 3 (18:34):
Did one of these days, they're gonna come after you
with a butterfly and.

Speaker 1 (18:40):
That you think I'm plenty huh, don't you kid your
young boy, I'm not pointy at all.

Speaker 3 (18:45):
What the public demands.

Speaker 2 (18:51):
You to see the guy high room with that. For
Tucker Boy, nothing gonna take him go. He a going
this thing Every Saturday.

Speaker 6 (18:59):
He takes hid.

Speaker 5 (19:00):
Motor boat and he tied it on the back of
each twiners, and he goes ten miles up.

Speaker 6 (19:05):
To a lake.

Speaker 2 (19:07):
And then all day long he goes in that motor
boat two win fo two window. And when he comes
home at night, he stopping with.

Speaker 3 (19:18):
What's wrong with that? He ain't got no motor boat.

Speaker 2 (19:26):
I know I went fishing in it the other day.

Speaker 4 (19:39):
I'm a driver.

Speaker 3 (19:41):
Oh nothing, mister Rhodes, your music has kept a kid July.

Speaker 2 (19:47):
The public damasis. You know, mister RhoD The one I
like the best was the medley from an He you good.

Speaker 4 (23:05):
If you hate to wash dishes, then you're gonna love tide. Well,
I really hate to wash dishes, especially having my hands
in that greasy water.

Speaker 7 (23:17):
Then lady, you are gonna love tide because when tide's
in your dishpan, greasy water is out. Not only does
tide cut grease amazingly, it seems to make grease disappear completely.
That sudsy water stays so fresh and pleasant. Your hands
will love it, and tide's mighty kind to your hands too. Yes,

(23:37):
but I still hate all the time dish washing.

Speaker 6 (23:40):
Cakes.

Speaker 7 (23:41):
Lady, you're gonna love tide on that score too, because
tide saves your time. You see, you don't have to
wipe dishes with tide. Just rinsome, and they drain dry. Yes,
and they're sparkling clean, cleaner than any soap will get them,
with no soap film to dull them. Say, I guess
as I am gonna love tide.

Speaker 3 (24:01):
Well, you just try it.

Speaker 7 (24:03):
You'll soon see how much easier, quicker, and pleasanter dish
washing can be.

Speaker 3 (24:08):
Remember, if you hate the wash, then you're gonna low tide.
Look who's getting out of that cab? Junior and his mother?

Speaker 4 (24:25):
Come on me right, run run, don't.

Speaker 8 (24:28):
Rush me, Junior. I have to pay the cab driver. Besides,
we have plan. He's time to catch our plane.

Speaker 2 (24:32):
I'm not thinking about the plane. I'm thinking about our lives.

Speaker 1 (24:36):
I put a fifteen spire cracker under that cracky driver's seat,
and it's got a short.

Speaker 3 (24:40):
Fuse on it.

Speaker 2 (24:42):
Let's say that again. Kids, You put what way? Why
I put that there? Let me let get out of here.
But he still got his head caught in the glove compartment.

Speaker 8 (24:55):
Junior, Really, how could you do such a thing?

Speaker 2 (24:58):
Okay, do you really want to know? I happened to
have another sixteenth firecracker. I mean, I'll just show you again.
Give me that firecracker.

Speaker 10 (25:04):
Look.

Speaker 4 (25:04):
Look out, the feudis letting the short brought away, lady,
Look my lafe.

Speaker 2 (25:12):
Out of all the nerves. A growing man running around
in his jot.

Speaker 3 (25:21):
That doesn't.

Speaker 2 (25:25):
There, Junior?

Speaker 8 (25:27):
Now, how did you like that.

Speaker 2 (25:28):
You had gunbagger? You always thank me so much. I

(25:58):
don't know why I don't, Junior, run for your life.

Speaker 3 (26:03):
One is broke lute from the.

Speaker 9 (26:04):
Herd, jumping big pile of slab you j Why do
you call me a big fat slob, your public madame dropper?

Speaker 3 (26:22):
Well, folks, you'd better hurry and get on that plane.

Speaker 8 (26:25):
Yes, and to make sure we get there, Junior, get in.

Speaker 2 (26:28):
No, not again, Speer.

Speaker 8 (26:29):
The plane is ready to leave.

Speaker 2 (26:30):
I better run, but don't run so fast.

Speaker 4 (26:32):
You can see the way I'm bouncing around inside this
portable dogcake.

Speaker 2 (26:36):
I knew I would wind up behind bars.

Speaker 3 (26:47):
Well read everyone's aboard, but Georgia.

Speaker 4 (26:49):
Yeah, I'll have to.

Speaker 2 (26:50):
Make the trip without her. I better get on the plane.
George will have to catch the next flight out.

Speaker 3 (26:54):
Well, I'll see that Ki gets on it. Red bon voyage.

Speaker 2 (26:57):
Oh, I didn't know you, spokes Fanny.

Speaker 3 (27:01):
I know you'll be a big success at the London.

Speaker 2 (27:03):
I better be Oh, they'll start throwing soggy tea bags at.

Speaker 3 (27:09):
Guy. Hate to see you go. Sure, gonna miss you.

Speaker 2 (27:12):
It's our last program in season too. You know.

Speaker 4 (27:17):
That's my time. I'll hey read the plane starting to
taxi off ron right that plane, I'm right skelting.

Speaker 2 (27:32):
I gotta get out of the bound me in my
big mouth. I caught up with you, So it's gonna
brought my overcoat along.

Speaker 4 (27:45):
My sleeping bag is gonna get pretty cold riding tiggyback
all the way to Englun on the.

Speaker 2 (27:49):
Table of this plane. Repsholt, Ladies and gentlemen, I would.

Speaker 4 (28:04):
Like to thank you, in behalf of Doctor and Gamble
in the entire cast.

Speaker 10 (28:07):
For allowing us to come into your living rooms every
Sunday night. As you know, this is our last show
of the season, and next season we'll be on in
your living room. OHI Television and perhaps Radio two again
thanks a lot, and we hope that we haven't said
it done anything to offend you, and that we have
respected the dignity of your home.

Speaker 2 (28:26):
Thanks for listening, and thanks for buying more and more.

Speaker 3 (28:28):
Of the Wash Day Miracle Tide.

Speaker 4 (28:31):
And this is Ron O'Connor reminding you of the Tide
gets close cleaner than any other washing products sold throughout America.

Speaker 3 (28:36):
That's why the cleanest washing down with the.

Speaker 4 (28:58):
Don't forget We'll see you all again on the Red
Skelvin's card Red Calvin is hurting.

Speaker 2 (29:03):
The programs with the courtesy and let's go all the way.

Speaker 3 (29:06):
That's the comedy writer's secret. That's boy Tomato
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