May 22, 2025 • 29 mins
A comedy-variety show featuring the titular comedian's array of characters and sketches, delivering laughter through slapstick and satire. The show's humor appeals to a broad audience.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Me.
Speaker 2 (00:00):
Mummy is so happy now, So step up Tide and
take a bow. Ask her how she gets such clean
white You say she did it with tie by Guys
Raps Drive from Hollywood Rocking and Campbell's Tide, The Washington
Miracle that gives you the Cleanest Clothing.
Speaker 3 (00:18):
Town proudly presents The Red Skelton Show.
Speaker 4 (00:33):
What Red Skelton, Dave Roses orchestral lorine title, Pat McGahan
and Dick Ryan.
Speaker 3 (00:37):
Will be me Rod O'Connor.
Speaker 4 (00:47):
From the Skeleton scrap Book of Satire a story entitled
Helter Shelter and it stars MGM's clown, Red Skelton.
Speaker 5 (00:54):
Oh my, I love music like that really makes you
think something good's coming on?
Speaker 1 (01:11):
Hey, what's wrong with that television set? Mister Frett.
Speaker 6 (01:13):
Oh haven't you heard?
Speaker 7 (01:14):
Missus Skelton has been using the antenna for a clothesline.
Speaker 2 (01:17):
Hey, remind me to buy her a regular clothes line.
She hangs those clothes anywhere. Yesterday I walked out and
I saw my shirt and a pair of shorts a
walk over and shook hands with it.
Speaker 1 (01:26):
Turned out to be a rose bud. There was nothing.
Speaker 7 (01:35):
I don't want to be a Bodinski, but I think
letting missus Skelton do the lindry makes you look very bad.
Speaker 2 (01:40):
Oh, you think you're right, makes me feel bad too.
To let the neighbors know my wife does the wh
I would have to get a higher fence. Well, you
know by now that boy is fired. You can clear
in his typewriter an ulcer. He's done.
Speaker 7 (02:00):
You know, you know it wouldn't hurt you to carry
the soil clothes down to the laundry mat and then
put a quarter in the slot.
Speaker 2 (02:06):
You know what happened to me the first time I
walked int one of those laundry mats.
Speaker 1 (02:10):
I put a quarter in the machine. I thought I
hit the jackpot eight with towels smack me right in
the thing.
Speaker 7 (02:17):
Excuse me, Missus Calton. But I'd like to tune in
to His Honor San Fernando red on TV.
Speaker 1 (02:23):
I don't want to hear that crooked politician.
Speaker 7 (02:25):
Oh now, this is a very important program today about
making a home bomb shelter.
Speaker 1 (02:30):
Home bomb shelters. That stupid who'd want to shelter a
bomb in their home?
Speaker 8 (02:37):
That's just coming on now announce you Anonymous sponsors brings
you His Honors, San Fernando Red and none of us
sponsors are the makers of the product with no name.
Speaker 9 (02:48):
It has no use, it's good for nothing, and it's
sales a skyrocket.
Speaker 1 (02:52):
It's to zero.
Speaker 9 (02:54):
Don't hop down to your neighborhood drug store for a
bottle because they.
Speaker 1 (02:58):
Never heard of it.
Speaker 9 (03:00):
If you send us twenty five cents in stamps or
calling care of this station, you can kiss it goodbye. Now,
Anonymous Products bring you San Fernando Red and his commentary
on world affairs.
Speaker 1 (03:16):
Thank you my friends, and you are my friends.
Speaker 2 (03:23):
I'll say you're not my friends. Nobody's gonna tell me
who my friends are. Ill. It's nice to see your
bloodshot eyes again, which reminds me tomorrow I am going
to be on at a more convenient time, So get
your knives out and cut the time in your television sets.
Starting tomorrow, I will give my report to the borders
(03:47):
at three point fifteen in the morning. I'm gonna tell
bedtime stories to gamblers.
Speaker 1 (03:54):
I'm gonna tell you how to get the most out
of your racing form.
Speaker 2 (03:59):
Remember the time now, remember it because I ain't gonna
repeat it. I can't remember it now. Tonight, I would
like to talk to you about testing the atomic bomb.
I was up the other morning and I saw that flash,
And believe me, I never saw such a light.
Speaker 3 (04:16):
Before my life.
Speaker 2 (04:18):
Here's about time a lot of politicians saw that light.
When the guy says that's coming from Las Vegas, I
thought somebody hit the jackpot on a pinball machine. I'll
tell you, neighbors, one more blast like that last one,
and we can eliminate Nevada completely. Which brings me to
(04:38):
why I'm speaking to you, friends. Does your backyard look
different lately? Or haven't you got an atomic bomb shoulder yet?
Speaker 1 (04:46):
Now? This shoulder against bombs is the rage.
Speaker 2 (04:49):
Now get one, because when Washington gets through with them taxers,
we're gonna wind up in a hole.
Speaker 1 (04:54):
Anyhow, I guess as well be comfortable.
Speaker 2 (05:02):
Now when I'm mentioning the name of the company that
builds these bombshellters. I don't think just because he's my brother,
That's why I'm doing it. I wouldn't let relatives use
me while I'm in office. Relatives don't mean a thing.
It's the money I'm after. I got something to tell
you here. As soon as they're finding I got it.
(05:24):
See your boom boom bomb, sheeld dealer today they got
bomb sellers all sizes. Now they start at six thousand
dollars that's for the large economy size. And then they
have them down to a dollar ninety eight. That's in
case you've got a pet golfer you want.
Speaker 1 (05:39):
To keep Harrod.
Speaker 2 (05:41):
Now the boom boom bomb shelters are easily shipped through
the mail.
Speaker 1 (05:45):
We even ship you the hole in the ground. Now
the bomb bomb bomb shelters are fully guaranteed.
Speaker 2 (05:50):
In case they don't work, you just mail up the
mess and we'll gladly refund your money. Our bombshelters is
the bound to be the talk of the neighborhood. Leave
the top off of them and surprise your friends when
they drop in they sell all throw makes a wonderful
place to hide from the finance company and call right now.
(06:12):
If you don't have a whole then right if you
can't write, just dick, you hit out the window and yell.
And this offer can't last forever because the FBI is
closing in on this.
Speaker 10 (06:20):
Now, I'll see you later, say say mister scouting.
Speaker 7 (06:31):
Let's all to one of those hard bomb shelters, will you.
Speaker 2 (06:36):
Now, I'm gonna build one myself. All I need is
fade and a pancake and a pickass. Hey, Frett, you
go next door and borrow the one from Jean.
Speaker 1 (06:48):
Fowler with Oh that's out.
Speaker 7 (06:50):
Mister Fowler told me this morning that he loaned them
out last spring and hasn't gotten them back yet.
Speaker 1 (06:54):
You know, some people are inconsiderate when they borrow things.
You know that, Yeah, who's the dirk he loaned it
to you? Well, I show you how you can misjudge people.
Speaker 7 (07:05):
Mister Skelton, are you sure you can build that bombshellter
by yourself?
Speaker 1 (07:08):
Yeah?
Speaker 7 (07:08):
I remember that swimming pool that you built last year.
Speaker 2 (07:11):
Well, I can't hope it if I got tired right
in the middle of it. But it turned out to
be a nice bird bath.
Speaker 7 (07:16):
Some bird bath was so small the birds took one
look at it and send the feathers out to be
dry clean.
Speaker 1 (07:26):
That's what I like about a bird joke, and it
lays an egg. You don't feel bad to say.
Speaker 7 (07:32):
Why don't you call Dave Roseen's Archester to help you
build it?
Speaker 1 (07:35):
No, Dave's kind of busy. He's working on my next picture,
the Texas Carnival with Esther Williams and Chuck Waters. You know.
Speaker 2 (07:41):
And right now he's rehearsing his band and they're going
to play petepe WoT.
Speaker 10 (09:41):
We wear the cleanest clothes town?
Speaker 2 (09:43):
Do we love time?
Speaker 10 (09:44):
We do the mom and popping Uncle jump in all I.
Speaker 8 (09:50):
Guess so skinny, so skinny.
Speaker 10 (09:54):
So you get the greenest washing.
Speaker 6 (09:56):
Town with the id Yes, your whole fa. Where's the
cleanest closed in town? When you use tide in your
washing machine?
Speaker 1 (10:05):
How do we know?
Speaker 4 (10:06):
Laboratory tests tests against this soap that so everyone you
can think of, most likely everyone you've ever used, And
how does tide stack up against them?
Speaker 3 (10:16):
Well, just listen to this.
Speaker 6 (10:18):
Tide gets closed cleaner than any other washing products sold
throughout America. Yes, we've got the facts and figures to
prove it. But you've got even better. You've got the
cleaner print dresses, your little daughter wears, the cleaner dungarees
on that youngster of yours. So, lady, remember this next
(10:38):
wash day when you take a tide wash out of
the rint stub and hang it up, Well you've got
yourself the cleanest wash in town.
Speaker 9 (10:47):
Tide gets any sap.
Speaker 11 (10:51):
You get the cleanest washing town with tie.
Speaker 7 (11:11):
Mister Skelton, I still think you should hire someone to
build a bomb shelter.
Speaker 1 (11:15):
Look, I'll do it myself. I should be able to
finish it one day.
Speaker 7 (11:18):
Well, don't knock yourself out.
Speaker 1 (11:20):
Look, I'll dig a wild and then i'll rest a while. Well,
time to rest, gang.
Speaker 12 (11:34):
Rod, Come on over, What are you doing taking a hog?
Speaker 1 (11:37):
No, I'm knitting the glove.
Speaker 10 (11:40):
Hey, you tell me.
Speaker 1 (11:41):
You say it don't has four fingers.
Speaker 3 (11:43):
It only has four fingers.
Speaker 1 (11:44):
It's from my cow.
Speaker 2 (11:47):
You were a new freeze that the government put on.
I don't want to take any chances. They grab a
shovel and give me a hen.
Speaker 12 (11:55):
Well, you only have one shovel and you're using it.
Speaker 2 (11:57):
Well take it, boy, I don't want to hog all
of What are you digging for a bomb shoulder?
Speaker 1 (12:04):
Hey?
Speaker 4 (12:04):
Look i'll help you build, Jorge, if you'll help me
build mine. I've been studying up on bomb sholders. Now, hey,
let me show you how you go about it. Well,
first you have to measure off of space eight by
twelve feet eight feet huh, and then it should be
about nine feet deep feet deep.
Speaker 3 (12:16):
I'll mark it off and you start digging.
Speaker 1 (12:17):
Okay, I'll stand back. I'll dig like a bus or Hey,
how deep did you say this had to be nine feet? Well,
I ain't too particular. I'll just dig it big enough
to hide my head in.
Speaker 3 (12:34):
I'll keep digging.
Speaker 1 (12:37):
Hey, what's this I dug in? There's nothing looks like
a gopher hole.
Speaker 3 (12:40):
Only it's bigger. Oh, there's a body down there.
Speaker 10 (12:42):
I'll go call it.
Speaker 1 (12:43):
Please hurry. Hey wat sho, you're up in that shovel.
Speaker 12 (12:47):
Boy, Well, hey, love fum, what are you doing down
in this hole?
Speaker 2 (12:52):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (12:53):
You like to know?
Speaker 2 (12:57):
I start information, fat boy, I got a gopher his
wife and I have I detect busybodies. I don't like
people who are busybodies, and you are about the vision body.
I don't like busie bodies.
Speaker 1 (13:14):
Uh huh. You must know.
Speaker 2 (13:16):
I'm a little short on door and I'm tunneling my
way to the Bank of America.
Speaker 3 (13:23):
Like, how did you get down there?
Speaker 1 (13:24):
I'll tell you how I got down here.
Speaker 2 (13:26):
I very politely asked my wife if I could go
out of the house today, and you know what, O
the wind tunnel said no, Well, you mean you can
hear her? And to everybody in the neighborhood heard her. Boy,
oh boy, she let out a shattered all the windows
(13:48):
in the neighbor neighborhood. Boy, what a boy he's got.
When she gets mad ill Tech seismographed up and Nevada
dropped another one.
Speaker 4 (13:58):
All right, well, what did you when one word?
Speaker 1 (14:01):
She says, No, only that wasn't the word she do.
Speaker 2 (14:06):
So when I she wasn't looking, I sneak out in
the backyard and I start digging.
Speaker 1 (14:11):
I like to dig.
Speaker 2 (14:13):
You see, when I was in the army, I used
to dig all the fox holes. That is until one
day I was digging there and a fox came up
and he looked at me and he no, no, not
that way between the lanes.
Speaker 1 (14:31):
You know what I didn't know.
Speaker 2 (14:34):
I dug a tunnel, or I got him all over town.
You know, I can get any place. Nobody knows me,
Old sir mouse, really they called me. Now, I dug
over to Joe's Bar and grill. And you should have
seen Joe's kitchen when I stuck my head through that door.
Speaker 1 (14:52):
Nine guys took the pledge.
Speaker 11 (14:58):
One guys took a bit drink out of his glass,
set it down and.
Speaker 2 (15:02):
Look me right in the eye, and he says, these
California turmikes are getting bigger.
Speaker 3 (15:09):
You know, I think you've had one too many.
Speaker 2 (15:10):
Oh no, I got room for one more. You know
I you know I can prove it. I'm still conscious.
That's why I know I have left.
Speaker 3 (15:20):
You can't even see straight.
Speaker 2 (15:21):
Who can't see you can't I can't see playing. I
see you right there. You're the one standing in the middle.
If you could be polite and introduced me to those
other two guys, you know.
Speaker 3 (15:36):
You gotta lay off that stuff.
Speaker 2 (15:37):
I can't drink water, and I gotta have water don't
have any vitamins in it.
Speaker 1 (15:42):
That's why I don't drink that.
Speaker 12 (15:44):
The other stuff doesn't have any vitamins either.
Speaker 2 (15:46):
Look buster, if I'm gonna miss my vitamin, just gotta
taste good.
Speaker 3 (15:53):
See, I need my strang.
Speaker 1 (15:55):
I'm a pretty stick boy.
Speaker 3 (15:56):
I am a pretty stick boy.
Speaker 2 (15:59):
I have breathing three day and it ain't easier.
Speaker 1 (16:06):
The doctor told me I was all out of shape.
Speaker 2 (16:08):
Of course I didn't pay any attention to him tell
me I was out of shape, but didn't believe himuntil
I tripped over my stomach on the way out.
Speaker 1 (16:17):
It says I only got a few hours lived.
Speaker 3 (16:19):
Who told you that? A doctor?
Speaker 1 (16:20):
No? No, my wife.
Speaker 2 (16:22):
When I get home, she says I'm a dead duck.
Oh look, here comes a wax salesman. Put that sign
on his car.
Speaker 13 (16:31):
Police, it says, police, All right, all right, what are
you doing that?
Speaker 3 (16:42):
Well, lobster, I was only digging.
Speaker 1 (16:44):
Yes, I can see you're.
Speaker 13 (16:45):
Digging, and it looks mighty suspicious.
Speaker 1 (16:48):
H just as a thought.
Speaker 3 (16:50):
You're burying the body.
Speaker 1 (16:52):
I'm nobody, officer. I'm alive. Oh you are last time?
More alive? Where's the part I prove it? Maybe I'm del.
Speaker 3 (17:07):
But if you're alive, then what are you doing down
in that hole?
Speaker 1 (17:09):
Not so fast?
Speaker 3 (17:10):
Places?
Speaker 1 (17:10):
Gay? What's your need?
Speaker 2 (17:12):
Willy lumplump, willy lumplumpy.
Speaker 1 (17:15):
No, not willy lump lump, a willy lumplump. That's it.
Speaker 3 (17:26):
Where's your home?
Speaker 10 (17:27):
What's that?
Speaker 2 (17:28):
Where's your home in the hands of the Bank of America.
Speaker 1 (17:34):
Are you married?
Speaker 3 (17:35):
That?
Speaker 10 (17:36):
I said?
Speaker 3 (17:36):
Are you married?
Speaker 1 (17:37):
Oh? I always looked this way after a hot rap. Yeah,
there was a bum rapper.
Speaker 2 (17:43):
I would have never married my wife if I had
read that fine writ in our marriage license.
Speaker 1 (17:47):
It said I have to support her mother too. Oh,
her mother's a very fourth and her father.
Speaker 2 (17:55):
Oh what This guy has sat in the living room
for ten years, and no one's coming offered him a job. Yeah,
he's the very fur sighted guy. Though he stole the
nineteen twenty nine Christ Coming, so he stopped working nineteen eighteen.
Speaker 1 (18:12):
Oh, let's not.
Speaker 3 (18:13):
Talk about that, though.
Speaker 1 (18:15):
I got a very weak stommach.
Speaker 4 (18:16):
Well you're the guy i've been looking for, jump jump
you lump lumps the name butter. Your wife calls the
station and reported you're missing for the last five days.
Speaker 2 (18:26):
Well, how did she find out I was missing? She
only cleans that doghouse once a week.
Speaker 1 (18:31):
Where come on, I'm taking you back to your way
to my wife.
Speaker 3 (18:35):
That's right.
Speaker 1 (18:36):
Oh, well, we all got to go sooner or later.
Speaker 3 (18:47):
Hey, Scouting, come on out here.
Speaker 1 (18:49):
I can't.
Speaker 2 (18:49):
I'm talking on the phone to Dave Rosenie's orchestra. He
wants me to hear the number he's gonna play on
the show Sunday.
Speaker 3 (18:54):
What's he gonna play?
Speaker 14 (18:55):
Oh, just one of those things.
Speaker 6 (20:55):
You've heard us called Tide a miracle, And that's exactly
what Tide is. Why the single fact that Tide vanished
soap film is what made no rinsing practical. So if
you're one of the women who likes to wash without rinsing.
You use Tide because Tide will give you the cleanest
possible no rinse wash, and of course you'll.
Speaker 3 (21:17):
Save all that time and work too.
Speaker 6 (21:20):
Now, on the other hand, if you prefer to rinse
your clothes, and I know most of you do, here's
what Tide promises you.
Speaker 3 (21:28):
Tide will get.
Speaker 4 (21:29):
Your clothes cleaner than any soap on Earth, cleaner than
any other washing product so throughout America. Tide will give
you cleaner shirts for your husband, cleaner play clothes for
your children. Yes, the Tide wash is the cleanest wash
in town.
Speaker 9 (21:46):
Tide gets tell cleena than any any any soap.
Speaker 1 (21:50):
You get the cleanest.
Speaker 10 (21:51):
Washing town with te.
Speaker 3 (22:08):
Hey, you got anything in the ice box?
Speaker 1 (22:09):
Now there's something in there will melt in your mouth.
Speaker 4 (22:11):
Ice cream, ice cube. Well, I'm gonna fect a sound.
Go ahead, milkman just pulling the driveway. Hey, it's color
flying mcpug, the punch drunk fighter that's always hearing bells
and birds.
Speaker 11 (22:30):
Don't need anybody win with your milk, all right, boy,
they get them. Stop claning them bell around here. You
know you want a kernel of milk with your money
with your boy.
Speaker 3 (22:41):
Califi, how long have you been a milkman and.
Speaker 1 (22:43):
Guy with twenty one Now you could be a milk boy.
Speaker 3 (22:45):
You knew.
Speaker 1 (22:47):
You wouldn't. I'm too fat for you, and I don't
bother me. Got nothing wrong with my truck. I got
your thinking.
Speaker 11 (22:57):
I get some mandic truck all it time, old man,
move my life.
Speaker 1 (23:02):
I think the man that you read, but you ain't
a clum.
Speaker 3 (23:08):
Well, what's wrong with your truck? It seems to run
all right?
Speaker 11 (23:10):
Yeah, but the bell keeping and all the time, the
thing that drive me nuts? You know, I'm driving along,
minding my own bitness.
Speaker 1 (23:15):
And oh a flock up and throw over that I'm
and all of a sudden the belt when you know
my trunk here you do? So I have to top
and try to turn them off, and I look for you.
Speaker 4 (23:29):
But look, I've got news for you. There's no bell
on that milk truck. Oh you heard it too, Colif
I you only imagine that you hear the bell, that's
because you're so punchy.
Speaker 12 (23:41):
You you're punchy, you DK I'm plunky?
Speaker 3 (23:44):
Yes, I do you mean? I certainly do?
Speaker 1 (23:47):
Okay?
Speaker 11 (23:47):
Ian for no dot the round?
Speaker 1 (23:53):
You do?
Speaker 4 (23:53):
You know you got to carry yourself a hearing bells
all the time. Just repeat over and over to yourself.
I don't hear any bell.
Speaker 1 (23:59):
You mean you don't hear that truck going by?
Speaker 12 (24:02):
I keep saying, I don't hear any bells ringing.
Speaker 11 (24:05):
I don't hear wait till, wait till they stop. I
don't hear any bell dwinging. I don't hear any bell dwinging. Yi,
I don't hear any bell.
Speaker 1 (24:22):
Dream you know about that. I'm cured.
Speaker 3 (24:27):
I want to see how simple it was.
Speaker 2 (24:28):
Dank the rudnay answer the food. Hey, hey, I know
where they're coming from. Now it's under that hood there
the truck. I'm gonna lift up the hood and yank
and belled.
Speaker 1 (24:42):
Right out of there. We're gonna drive me nothing.
Speaker 11 (24:44):
Do a foc canary flew out of there? Boy, old boy,
you know they're caught in all the trouble.
Speaker 12 (24:50):
I think I didn't see any canaries fly out?
Speaker 1 (24:53):
Or what do you want to do? Come back and
give you a non cool. The world's moving too fast
for you, boy, Get we get the you want to
be like me? Boy, keep on your hues.
Speaker 4 (25:09):
Ah, it's too bad for you, califier. You showed up
where they were passing out the brains. The government frozen.
Speaker 1 (25:14):
Oh that cute that you didn't get much of a laugh.
Speaker 12 (25:22):
Hey tell me how come you're driving a milk truck.
Speaker 3 (25:24):
Finally washed up in the fight racket.
Speaker 2 (25:26):
I thought I would wiped up last night about I
had out in China.
Speaker 1 (25:29):
Oh you tell me? I won?
Speaker 10 (25:32):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (25:32):
Boy, I tell you. They had to use the cart
remover to get me off of the canbridge. You knew.
Speaker 3 (25:37):
What did you fight?
Speaker 1 (25:38):
I fought Gorilla Irving.
Speaker 11 (25:40):
He's uh taking dinner George dinner, Jordana Taxi Dermot.
Speaker 1 (25:45):
He did try to stuffy fit do on my throat.
Speaker 2 (25:49):
One of the fighters had to go over and I
fought last week and he had to go to the dinners.
Speaker 1 (25:53):
I picked him.
Speaker 3 (25:54):
Boy, what happened?
Speaker 1 (25:56):
One of my teeth got took and he fire? And
oh is that night?
Speaker 10 (26:01):
And that cute?
Speaker 1 (26:02):
They're going back to Capitana early? Did he? I did fight?
I had last night though.
Speaker 11 (26:10):
This guy hit me so hard at my teeth, blew
right out of my mouth and bid a lady in
the third room.
Speaker 1 (26:16):
I had to fight.
Speaker 11 (26:17):
I had to go stop it where you had cons
matter with you?
Speaker 3 (26:21):
What does this stop? And stop?
Speaker 10 (26:23):
Hits me?
Speaker 1 (26:23):
Hits me?
Speaker 3 (26:24):
I look around, No wonder you're walking around in a fog.
Speaker 1 (26:30):
Who you think I walked my boat? You ain't seen nothing.
You are to tea that rattler room with you. A
good guy, get really flipped his lid.
Speaker 3 (26:39):
Majm me, no need the fruit.
Speaker 1 (26:41):
Take that guy all night loom. He kicked there banging
at the get your bang to be. Oh not you?
Speaker 3 (26:49):
What's wrong with that?
Speaker 1 (26:49):
He ain't got no bn. I know I have to
tune it.
Speaker 3 (26:56):
When you get your cleaning, tell me something, colorfire? What
do you sell milk for?
Speaker 11 (27:03):
Oh it's very weaknable, very weaknable. I darged fifteen tent
to quart and twenty five into point.
Speaker 3 (27:12):
Well, tell me something. How come the pint bottles costs
more than the quart bottle?
Speaker 8 (27:15):
Well?
Speaker 11 (27:16):
When I milk and cowd mommate too good with him?
Real body, go to super tea.
Speaker 3 (27:28):
Tell me something? Is your milk past your eyes pat ryed?
Speaker 1 (27:31):
Only if I put it in front of my fake.
Speaker 3 (27:37):
You milk?
Speaker 1 (27:42):
You know our milk is different. We feed our choud
nothing but watermelon. So when you drink the milk, don't
forget to spit the seed down.
Speaker 11 (27:51):
Or that week that week they love me, They love
me that sweet Oh a little Canario, myke yield.
Speaker 1 (27:57):
Only go away.
Speaker 4 (28:00):
Well, i'll help you out, Califira. Give me a couple
of quarts. Two quarts coming up, boy, I don't want
it unless it's fresh.
Speaker 1 (28:05):
Oh it's Frank joll right. I'll get it for you
to get the gippy.
Speaker 3 (28:12):
Boy, I said, forget it. I'll see you later. Yeah, Caltains, Hey,
I'm going home.
Speaker 1 (28:21):
I finished my bomb shoulder, really got it finished. Boy.
I'm gonna call up the newspapers and him take some
pictures of it.
Speaker 3 (28:25):
Yeah. Say that's a juicy tidbit for head and Noela.
Speaker 1 (28:27):
Yeah, Drew person won't believe it. He didn't pretict it.
Speaker 2 (28:31):
Put a master please though, if Adam bomb proof, h
bomb proof, smog proof and fires, thank.
Speaker 3 (28:36):
You too bad. It wasn't sneezeproof.
Speaker 1 (28:45):
I've always wanted a sunken rock garden.
Speaker 3 (28:53):
Now, ladies and gentlemen, until next Sunday.
Speaker 2 (28:55):
This is Red Skelton saying goodbye and Adam, thanks for listening,
and thanks for buying more and more of the Voice Miracle.
Speaker 4 (29:01):
And this is ronald'connor reminding you that Tide gets close
cleaner than any soap on Earth.
Speaker 3 (29:04):
Cleaner than any other washing products sold throughout America. That's
why you get as clean.
Speaker 1 (29:08):
As washing with.
Speaker 3 (29:12):
I. This is the copyrighted feature Trent's Drive from Hollywood.
Speaker 1 (29:19):
That's the CBS from the broadcasting and Sisters
Me.
Speaker 2 (00:00):
Mummy is so happy now, So step up Tide and
take a bow. Ask her how she gets such clean
white You say she did it with tie by Guys
Raps Drive from Hollywood Rocking and Campbell's Tide, The Washington
Miracle that gives you the Cleanest Clothing.
Speaker 3 (00:18):
Town proudly presents The Red Skelton Show.
Speaker 4 (00:33):
What Red Skelton, Dave Roses orchestral lorine title, Pat McGahan
and Dick Ryan.
Speaker 3 (00:37):
Will be me Rod O'Connor.
Speaker 4 (00:47):
From the Skeleton scrap Book of Satire a story entitled
Helter Shelter and it stars MGM's clown, Red Skelton.
Speaker 5 (00:54):
Oh my, I love music like that really makes you
think something good's coming on?
Speaker 1 (01:11):
Hey, what's wrong with that television set? Mister Frett.
Speaker 6 (01:13):
Oh haven't you heard?
Speaker 7 (01:14):
Missus Skelton has been using the antenna for a clothesline.
Speaker 2 (01:17):
Hey, remind me to buy her a regular clothes line.
She hangs those clothes anywhere. Yesterday I walked out and
I saw my shirt and a pair of shorts a
walk over and shook hands with it.
Speaker 1 (01:26):
Turned out to be a rose bud. There was nothing.
Speaker 7 (01:35):
I don't want to be a Bodinski, but I think
letting missus Skelton do the lindry makes you look very bad.
Speaker 2 (01:40):
Oh, you think you're right, makes me feel bad too.
To let the neighbors know my wife does the wh
I would have to get a higher fence. Well, you
know by now that boy is fired. You can clear
in his typewriter an ulcer. He's done.
Speaker 7 (02:00):
You know, you know it wouldn't hurt you to carry
the soil clothes down to the laundry mat and then
put a quarter in the slot.
Speaker 2 (02:06):
You know what happened to me the first time I
walked int one of those laundry mats.
Speaker 1 (02:10):
I put a quarter in the machine. I thought I
hit the jackpot eight with towels smack me right in
the thing.
Speaker 7 (02:17):
Excuse me, Missus Calton. But I'd like to tune in
to His Honor San Fernando red on TV.
Speaker 1 (02:23):
I don't want to hear that crooked politician.
Speaker 7 (02:25):
Oh now, this is a very important program today about
making a home bomb shelter.
Speaker 1 (02:30):
Home bomb shelters. That stupid who'd want to shelter a
bomb in their home?
Speaker 8 (02:37):
That's just coming on now announce you Anonymous sponsors brings
you His Honors, San Fernando Red and none of us
sponsors are the makers of the product with no name.
Speaker 9 (02:48):
It has no use, it's good for nothing, and it's
sales a skyrocket.
Speaker 1 (02:52):
It's to zero.
Speaker 9 (02:54):
Don't hop down to your neighborhood drug store for a
bottle because they.
Speaker 1 (02:58):
Never heard of it.
Speaker 9 (03:00):
If you send us twenty five cents in stamps or
calling care of this station, you can kiss it goodbye. Now,
Anonymous Products bring you San Fernando Red and his commentary
on world affairs.
Speaker 1 (03:16):
Thank you my friends, and you are my friends.
Speaker 2 (03:23):
I'll say you're not my friends. Nobody's gonna tell me
who my friends are. Ill. It's nice to see your
bloodshot eyes again, which reminds me tomorrow I am going
to be on at a more convenient time, So get
your knives out and cut the time in your television sets.
Starting tomorrow, I will give my report to the borders
(03:47):
at three point fifteen in the morning. I'm gonna tell
bedtime stories to gamblers.
Speaker 1 (03:54):
I'm gonna tell you how to get the most out
of your racing form.
Speaker 2 (03:59):
Remember the time now, remember it because I ain't gonna
repeat it. I can't remember it now. Tonight, I would
like to talk to you about testing the atomic bomb.
I was up the other morning and I saw that flash,
And believe me, I never saw such a light.
Speaker 3 (04:16):
Before my life.
Speaker 2 (04:18):
Here's about time a lot of politicians saw that light.
When the guy says that's coming from Las Vegas, I
thought somebody hit the jackpot on a pinball machine. I'll
tell you, neighbors, one more blast like that last one,
and we can eliminate Nevada completely. Which brings me to
(04:38):
why I'm speaking to you, friends. Does your backyard look
different lately? Or haven't you got an atomic bomb shoulder yet?
Speaker 1 (04:46):
Now? This shoulder against bombs is the rage.
Speaker 2 (04:49):
Now get one, because when Washington gets through with them taxers,
we're gonna wind up in a hole.
Speaker 1 (04:54):
Anyhow, I guess as well be comfortable.
Speaker 2 (05:02):
Now when I'm mentioning the name of the company that
builds these bombshellters. I don't think just because he's my brother,
That's why I'm doing it. I wouldn't let relatives use
me while I'm in office. Relatives don't mean a thing.
It's the money I'm after. I got something to tell
you here. As soon as they're finding I got it.
(05:24):
See your boom boom bomb, sheeld dealer today they got
bomb sellers all sizes. Now they start at six thousand
dollars that's for the large economy size. And then they
have them down to a dollar ninety eight. That's in
case you've got a pet golfer you want.
Speaker 1 (05:39):
To keep Harrod.
Speaker 2 (05:41):
Now the boom boom bomb shelters are easily shipped through
the mail.
Speaker 1 (05:45):
We even ship you the hole in the ground. Now
the bomb bomb bomb shelters are fully guaranteed.
Speaker 2 (05:50):
In case they don't work, you just mail up the
mess and we'll gladly refund your money. Our bombshelters is
the bound to be the talk of the neighborhood. Leave
the top off of them and surprise your friends when
they drop in they sell all throw makes a wonderful
place to hide from the finance company and call right now.
(06:12):
If you don't have a whole then right if you
can't write, just dick, you hit out the window and yell.
And this offer can't last forever because the FBI is
closing in on this.
Speaker 10 (06:20):
Now, I'll see you later, say say mister scouting.
Speaker 7 (06:31):
Let's all to one of those hard bomb shelters, will you.
Speaker 2 (06:36):
Now, I'm gonna build one myself. All I need is
fade and a pancake and a pickass. Hey, Frett, you
go next door and borrow the one from Jean.
Speaker 1 (06:48):
Fowler with Oh that's out.
Speaker 7 (06:50):
Mister Fowler told me this morning that he loaned them
out last spring and hasn't gotten them back yet.
Speaker 1 (06:54):
You know, some people are inconsiderate when they borrow things.
You know that, Yeah, who's the dirk he loaned it
to you? Well, I show you how you can misjudge people.
Speaker 7 (07:05):
Mister Skelton, are you sure you can build that bombshellter
by yourself?
Speaker 1 (07:08):
Yeah?
Speaker 7 (07:08):
I remember that swimming pool that you built last year.
Speaker 2 (07:11):
Well, I can't hope it if I got tired right
in the middle of it. But it turned out to
be a nice bird bath.
Speaker 7 (07:16):
Some bird bath was so small the birds took one
look at it and send the feathers out to be
dry clean.
Speaker 1 (07:26):
That's what I like about a bird joke, and it
lays an egg. You don't feel bad to say.
Speaker 7 (07:32):
Why don't you call Dave Roseen's Archester to help you
build it?
Speaker 1 (07:35):
No, Dave's kind of busy. He's working on my next picture,
the Texas Carnival with Esther Williams and Chuck Waters. You know.
Speaker 2 (07:41):
And right now he's rehearsing his band and they're going
to play petepe WoT.
Speaker 10 (09:41):
We wear the cleanest clothes town?
Speaker 2 (09:43):
Do we love time?
Speaker 10 (09:44):
We do the mom and popping Uncle jump in all I.
Speaker 8 (09:50):
Guess so skinny, so skinny.
Speaker 10 (09:54):
So you get the greenest washing.
Speaker 6 (09:56):
Town with the id Yes, your whole fa. Where's the
cleanest closed in town? When you use tide in your
washing machine?
Speaker 1 (10:05):
How do we know?
Speaker 4 (10:06):
Laboratory tests tests against this soap that so everyone you
can think of, most likely everyone you've ever used, And
how does tide stack up against them?
Speaker 3 (10:16):
Well, just listen to this.
Speaker 6 (10:18):
Tide gets closed cleaner than any other washing products sold
throughout America. Yes, we've got the facts and figures to
prove it. But you've got even better. You've got the
cleaner print dresses, your little daughter wears, the cleaner dungarees
on that youngster of yours. So, lady, remember this next
(10:38):
wash day when you take a tide wash out of
the rint stub and hang it up, Well you've got
yourself the cleanest wash in town.
Speaker 9 (10:47):
Tide gets any sap.
Speaker 11 (10:51):
You get the cleanest washing town with tie.
Speaker 7 (11:11):
Mister Skelton, I still think you should hire someone to
build a bomb shelter.
Speaker 1 (11:15):
Look, I'll do it myself. I should be able to
finish it one day.
Speaker 7 (11:18):
Well, don't knock yourself out.
Speaker 1 (11:20):
Look, I'll dig a wild and then i'll rest a while. Well,
time to rest, gang.
Speaker 12 (11:34):
Rod, Come on over, What are you doing taking a hog?
Speaker 1 (11:37):
No, I'm knitting the glove.
Speaker 10 (11:40):
Hey, you tell me.
Speaker 1 (11:41):
You say it don't has four fingers.
Speaker 3 (11:43):
It only has four fingers.
Speaker 1 (11:44):
It's from my cow.
Speaker 2 (11:47):
You were a new freeze that the government put on.
I don't want to take any chances. They grab a
shovel and give me a hen.
Speaker 12 (11:55):
Well, you only have one shovel and you're using it.
Speaker 2 (11:57):
Well take it, boy, I don't want to hog all
of What are you digging for a bomb shoulder?
Speaker 1 (12:04):
Hey?
Speaker 4 (12:04):
Look i'll help you build, Jorge, if you'll help me
build mine. I've been studying up on bomb sholders. Now, hey,
let me show you how you go about it. Well,
first you have to measure off of space eight by
twelve feet eight feet huh, and then it should be
about nine feet deep feet deep.
Speaker 3 (12:16):
I'll mark it off and you start digging.
Speaker 1 (12:17):
Okay, I'll stand back. I'll dig like a bus or Hey,
how deep did you say this had to be nine feet? Well,
I ain't too particular. I'll just dig it big enough
to hide my head in.
Speaker 3 (12:34):
I'll keep digging.
Speaker 1 (12:37):
Hey, what's this I dug in? There's nothing looks like
a gopher hole.
Speaker 3 (12:40):
Only it's bigger. Oh, there's a body down there.
Speaker 10 (12:42):
I'll go call it.
Speaker 1 (12:43):
Please hurry. Hey wat sho, you're up in that shovel.
Speaker 12 (12:47):
Boy, Well, hey, love fum, what are you doing down
in this hole?
Speaker 2 (12:52):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (12:53):
You like to know?
Speaker 2 (12:57):
I start information, fat boy, I got a gopher his
wife and I have I detect busybodies. I don't like
people who are busybodies, and you are about the vision body.
I don't like busie bodies.
Speaker 1 (13:14):
Uh huh. You must know.
Speaker 2 (13:16):
I'm a little short on door and I'm tunneling my
way to the Bank of America.
Speaker 3 (13:23):
Like, how did you get down there?
Speaker 1 (13:24):
I'll tell you how I got down here.
Speaker 2 (13:26):
I very politely asked my wife if I could go
out of the house today, and you know what, O
the wind tunnel said no, Well, you mean you can
hear her? And to everybody in the neighborhood heard her. Boy,
oh boy, she let out a shattered all the windows
(13:48):
in the neighbor neighborhood. Boy, what a boy he's got.
When she gets mad ill Tech seismographed up and Nevada
dropped another one.
Speaker 4 (13:58):
All right, well, what did you when one word?
Speaker 1 (14:01):
She says, No, only that wasn't the word she do.
Speaker 2 (14:06):
So when I she wasn't looking, I sneak out in
the backyard and I start digging.
Speaker 1 (14:11):
I like to dig.
Speaker 2 (14:13):
You see, when I was in the army, I used
to dig all the fox holes. That is until one
day I was digging there and a fox came up
and he looked at me and he no, no, not
that way between the lanes.
Speaker 1 (14:31):
You know what I didn't know.
Speaker 2 (14:34):
I dug a tunnel, or I got him all over town.
You know, I can get any place. Nobody knows me,
Old sir mouse, really they called me. Now, I dug
over to Joe's Bar and grill. And you should have
seen Joe's kitchen when I stuck my head through that door.
Speaker 1 (14:52):
Nine guys took the pledge.
Speaker 11 (14:58):
One guys took a bit drink out of his glass,
set it down and.
Speaker 2 (15:02):
Look me right in the eye, and he says, these
California turmikes are getting bigger.
Speaker 3 (15:09):
You know, I think you've had one too many.
Speaker 2 (15:10):
Oh no, I got room for one more. You know
I you know I can prove it. I'm still conscious.
That's why I know I have left.
Speaker 3 (15:20):
You can't even see straight.
Speaker 2 (15:21):
Who can't see you can't I can't see playing. I
see you right there. You're the one standing in the middle.
If you could be polite and introduced me to those
other two guys, you know.
Speaker 3 (15:36):
You gotta lay off that stuff.
Speaker 2 (15:37):
I can't drink water, and I gotta have water don't
have any vitamins in it.
Speaker 1 (15:42):
That's why I don't drink that.
Speaker 12 (15:44):
The other stuff doesn't have any vitamins either.
Speaker 2 (15:46):
Look buster, if I'm gonna miss my vitamin, just gotta
taste good.
Speaker 3 (15:53):
See, I need my strang.
Speaker 1 (15:55):
I'm a pretty stick boy.
Speaker 3 (15:56):
I am a pretty stick boy.
Speaker 2 (15:59):
I have breathing three day and it ain't easier.
Speaker 1 (16:06):
The doctor told me I was all out of shape.
Speaker 2 (16:08):
Of course I didn't pay any attention to him tell
me I was out of shape, but didn't believe himuntil
I tripped over my stomach on the way out.
Speaker 1 (16:17):
It says I only got a few hours lived.
Speaker 3 (16:19):
Who told you that? A doctor?
Speaker 1 (16:20):
No? No, my wife.
Speaker 2 (16:22):
When I get home, she says I'm a dead duck.
Oh look, here comes a wax salesman. Put that sign
on his car.
Speaker 13 (16:31):
Police, it says, police, All right, all right, what are
you doing that?
Speaker 3 (16:42):
Well, lobster, I was only digging.
Speaker 1 (16:44):
Yes, I can see you're.
Speaker 13 (16:45):
Digging, and it looks mighty suspicious.
Speaker 1 (16:48):
H just as a thought.
Speaker 3 (16:50):
You're burying the body.
Speaker 1 (16:52):
I'm nobody, officer. I'm alive. Oh you are last time?
More alive? Where's the part I prove it? Maybe I'm del.
Speaker 3 (17:07):
But if you're alive, then what are you doing down
in that hole?
Speaker 1 (17:09):
Not so fast?
Speaker 3 (17:10):
Places?
Speaker 1 (17:10):
Gay? What's your need?
Speaker 2 (17:12):
Willy lumplump, willy lumplumpy.
Speaker 1 (17:15):
No, not willy lump lump, a willy lumplump. That's it.
Speaker 3 (17:26):
Where's your home?
Speaker 10 (17:27):
What's that?
Speaker 2 (17:28):
Where's your home in the hands of the Bank of America.
Speaker 1 (17:34):
Are you married?
Speaker 3 (17:35):
That?
Speaker 10 (17:36):
I said?
Speaker 3 (17:36):
Are you married?
Speaker 1 (17:37):
Oh? I always looked this way after a hot rap. Yeah,
there was a bum rapper.
Speaker 2 (17:43):
I would have never married my wife if I had
read that fine writ in our marriage license.
Speaker 1 (17:47):
It said I have to support her mother too. Oh,
her mother's a very fourth and her father.
Speaker 2 (17:55):
Oh what This guy has sat in the living room
for ten years, and no one's coming offered him a job. Yeah,
he's the very fur sighted guy. Though he stole the
nineteen twenty nine Christ Coming, so he stopped working nineteen eighteen.
Speaker 1 (18:12):
Oh, let's not.
Speaker 3 (18:13):
Talk about that, though.
Speaker 1 (18:15):
I got a very weak stommach.
Speaker 4 (18:16):
Well you're the guy i've been looking for, jump jump
you lump lumps the name butter. Your wife calls the
station and reported you're missing for the last five days.
Speaker 2 (18:26):
Well, how did she find out I was missing? She
only cleans that doghouse once a week.
Speaker 1 (18:31):
Where come on, I'm taking you back to your way
to my wife.
Speaker 3 (18:35):
That's right.
Speaker 1 (18:36):
Oh, well, we all got to go sooner or later.
Speaker 3 (18:47):
Hey, Scouting, come on out here.
Speaker 1 (18:49):
I can't.
Speaker 2 (18:49):
I'm talking on the phone to Dave Rosenie's orchestra. He
wants me to hear the number he's gonna play on
the show Sunday.
Speaker 3 (18:54):
What's he gonna play?
Speaker 14 (18:55):
Oh, just one of those things.
Speaker 6 (20:55):
You've heard us called Tide a miracle, And that's exactly
what Tide is. Why the single fact that Tide vanished
soap film is what made no rinsing practical. So if
you're one of the women who likes to wash without rinsing.
You use Tide because Tide will give you the cleanest
possible no rinse wash, and of course you'll.
Speaker 3 (21:17):
Save all that time and work too.
Speaker 6 (21:20):
Now, on the other hand, if you prefer to rinse
your clothes, and I know most of you do, here's
what Tide promises you.
Speaker 3 (21:28):
Tide will get.
Speaker 4 (21:29):
Your clothes cleaner than any soap on Earth, cleaner than
any other washing product so throughout America. Tide will give
you cleaner shirts for your husband, cleaner play clothes for
your children. Yes, the Tide wash is the cleanest wash
in town.
Speaker 9 (21:46):
Tide gets tell cleena than any any any soap.
Speaker 1 (21:50):
You get the cleanest.
Speaker 10 (21:51):
Washing town with te.
Speaker 3 (22:08):
Hey, you got anything in the ice box?
Speaker 1 (22:09):
Now there's something in there will melt in your mouth.
Speaker 4 (22:11):
Ice cream, ice cube. Well, I'm gonna fect a sound.
Go ahead, milkman just pulling the driveway. Hey, it's color
flying mcpug, the punch drunk fighter that's always hearing bells
and birds.
Speaker 11 (22:30):
Don't need anybody win with your milk, all right, boy,
they get them. Stop claning them bell around here. You
know you want a kernel of milk with your money
with your boy.
Speaker 3 (22:41):
Califi, how long have you been a milkman and.
Speaker 1 (22:43):
Guy with twenty one Now you could be a milk boy.
Speaker 3 (22:45):
You knew.
Speaker 1 (22:47):
You wouldn't. I'm too fat for you, and I don't
bother me. Got nothing wrong with my truck. I got
your thinking.
Speaker 11 (22:57):
I get some mandic truck all it time, old man,
move my life.
Speaker 1 (23:02):
I think the man that you read, but you ain't
a clum.
Speaker 3 (23:08):
Well, what's wrong with your truck? It seems to run
all right?
Speaker 11 (23:10):
Yeah, but the bell keeping and all the time, the
thing that drive me nuts? You know, I'm driving along,
minding my own bitness.
Speaker 1 (23:15):
And oh a flock up and throw over that I'm
and all of a sudden the belt when you know
my trunk here you do? So I have to top
and try to turn them off, and I look for you.
Speaker 4 (23:29):
But look, I've got news for you. There's no bell
on that milk truck. Oh you heard it too, Colif
I you only imagine that you hear the bell, that's
because you're so punchy.
Speaker 12 (23:41):
You you're punchy, you DK I'm plunky?
Speaker 3 (23:44):
Yes, I do you mean? I certainly do?
Speaker 1 (23:47):
Okay?
Speaker 11 (23:47):
Ian for no dot the round?
Speaker 1 (23:53):
You do?
Speaker 4 (23:53):
You know you got to carry yourself a hearing bells
all the time. Just repeat over and over to yourself.
I don't hear any bell.
Speaker 1 (23:59):
You mean you don't hear that truck going by?
Speaker 12 (24:02):
I keep saying, I don't hear any bells ringing.
Speaker 11 (24:05):
I don't hear wait till, wait till they stop. I
don't hear any bell dwinging. I don't hear any bell dwinging. Yi,
I don't hear any bell.
Speaker 1 (24:22):
Dream you know about that. I'm cured.
Speaker 3 (24:27):
I want to see how simple it was.
Speaker 2 (24:28):
Dank the rudnay answer the food. Hey, hey, I know
where they're coming from. Now it's under that hood there
the truck. I'm gonna lift up the hood and yank
and belled.
Speaker 1 (24:42):
Right out of there. We're gonna drive me nothing.
Speaker 11 (24:44):
Do a foc canary flew out of there? Boy, old boy,
you know they're caught in all the trouble.
Speaker 12 (24:50):
I think I didn't see any canaries fly out?
Speaker 1 (24:53):
Or what do you want to do? Come back and
give you a non cool. The world's moving too fast
for you, boy, Get we get the you want to
be like me? Boy, keep on your hues.
Speaker 4 (25:09):
Ah, it's too bad for you, califier. You showed up
where they were passing out the brains. The government frozen.
Speaker 1 (25:14):
Oh that cute that you didn't get much of a laugh.
Speaker 12 (25:22):
Hey tell me how come you're driving a milk truck.
Speaker 3 (25:24):
Finally washed up in the fight racket.
Speaker 2 (25:26):
I thought I would wiped up last night about I
had out in China.
Speaker 1 (25:29):
Oh you tell me? I won?
Speaker 10 (25:32):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (25:32):
Boy, I tell you. They had to use the cart
remover to get me off of the canbridge. You knew.
Speaker 3 (25:37):
What did you fight?
Speaker 1 (25:38):
I fought Gorilla Irving.
Speaker 11 (25:40):
He's uh taking dinner George dinner, Jordana Taxi Dermot.
Speaker 1 (25:45):
He did try to stuffy fit do on my throat.
Speaker 2 (25:49):
One of the fighters had to go over and I
fought last week and he had to go to the dinners.
Speaker 1 (25:53):
I picked him.
Speaker 3 (25:54):
Boy, what happened?
Speaker 1 (25:56):
One of my teeth got took and he fire? And
oh is that night?
Speaker 10 (26:01):
And that cute?
Speaker 1 (26:02):
They're going back to Capitana early? Did he? I did fight?
I had last night though.
Speaker 11 (26:10):
This guy hit me so hard at my teeth, blew
right out of my mouth and bid a lady in
the third room.
Speaker 1 (26:16):
I had to fight.
Speaker 11 (26:17):
I had to go stop it where you had cons
matter with you?
Speaker 3 (26:21):
What does this stop? And stop?
Speaker 10 (26:23):
Hits me?
Speaker 1 (26:23):
Hits me?
Speaker 3 (26:24):
I look around, No wonder you're walking around in a fog.
Speaker 1 (26:30):
Who you think I walked my boat? You ain't seen nothing.
You are to tea that rattler room with you. A
good guy, get really flipped his lid.
Speaker 3 (26:39):
Majm me, no need the fruit.
Speaker 1 (26:41):
Take that guy all night loom. He kicked there banging
at the get your bang to be. Oh not you?
Speaker 3 (26:49):
What's wrong with that?
Speaker 1 (26:49):
He ain't got no bn. I know I have to
tune it.
Speaker 3 (26:56):
When you get your cleaning, tell me something, colorfire? What
do you sell milk for?
Speaker 11 (27:03):
Oh it's very weaknable, very weaknable. I darged fifteen tent
to quart and twenty five into point.
Speaker 3 (27:12):
Well, tell me something. How come the pint bottles costs
more than the quart bottle?
Speaker 8 (27:15):
Well?
Speaker 11 (27:16):
When I milk and cowd mommate too good with him?
Real body, go to super tea.
Speaker 3 (27:28):
Tell me something? Is your milk past your eyes pat ryed?
Speaker 1 (27:31):
Only if I put it in front of my fake.
Speaker 3 (27:37):
You milk?
Speaker 1 (27:42):
You know our milk is different. We feed our choud
nothing but watermelon. So when you drink the milk, don't
forget to spit the seed down.
Speaker 11 (27:51):
Or that week that week they love me, They love
me that sweet Oh a little Canario, myke yield.
Speaker 1 (27:57):
Only go away.
Speaker 4 (28:00):
Well, i'll help you out, Califira. Give me a couple
of quarts. Two quarts coming up, boy, I don't want
it unless it's fresh.
Speaker 1 (28:05):
Oh it's Frank joll right. I'll get it for you
to get the gippy.
Speaker 3 (28:12):
Boy, I said, forget it. I'll see you later. Yeah, Caltains, Hey,
I'm going home.
Speaker 1 (28:21):
I finished my bomb shoulder, really got it finished. Boy.
I'm gonna call up the newspapers and him take some
pictures of it.
Speaker 3 (28:25):
Yeah. Say that's a juicy tidbit for head and Noela.
Speaker 1 (28:27):
Yeah, Drew person won't believe it. He didn't pretict it.
Speaker 2 (28:31):
Put a master please though, if Adam bomb proof, h
bomb proof, smog proof and fires, thank.
Speaker 3 (28:36):
You too bad. It wasn't sneezeproof.
Speaker 1 (28:45):
I've always wanted a sunken rock garden.
Speaker 3 (28:53):
Now, ladies and gentlemen, until next Sunday.
Speaker 2 (28:55):
This is Red Skelton saying goodbye and Adam, thanks for listening,
and thanks for buying more and more of the Voice Miracle.
Speaker 4 (29:01):
And this is ronald'connor reminding you that Tide gets close
cleaner than any soap on Earth.
Speaker 3 (29:04):
Cleaner than any other washing products sold throughout America. That's
why you get as clean.
Speaker 1 (29:08):
As washing with.
Speaker 3 (29:12):
I. This is the copyrighted feature Trent's Drive from Hollywood.
Speaker 1 (29:19):
That's the CBS from the broadcasting and Sisters
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