Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
My name is Emma and I'm nineteen years old. I've
been babysitting for my aunt Jessica for the past two years,
but what started as a small favor has spiraled into
something I can barely believe. I honestly feel like I'm
losing my mind and I really need an outside perspective
on this. A little backstory. Jessica is my mom's younger sister.
(00:21):
She's thirty eight, and she has two kids, Oliver, who's six,
and Chloe, who's four. They're adorable kids and I love
them to bits. When Jessica first started asking me to babysit,
it was casual and infrequent. She'd call her text, usually
on short notice, and ask if I could watch the
kids for a couple of hours while she ran errands
or had a quick appointment. It didn't bother me. I
(00:45):
was still in high school back then, I had some
free time, and I figured why not. I love spending
time with Oliver and Chloe, and it felt nice to
help Jessica out. Plus, she always framed it as just
a little favor or how much the kids missed me.
But over time things started to change. The requests became
more frequent. Instead of every now and then it was
(01:08):
once or twice a week. Then it was three or
four times. Before I knew it, I was babysitting almost
every weekend. Jessica never really asked any more. It was
more like she just assumed I'd be available if I
had plans or couldn't do it. She'd make comments that
left me feeling guilty, like it must be nice to
have so much free time, or we don't have anyone
(01:29):
else to trust. It started feeling less like a favor
and more like an obligation. It wasn't just a couple
of hours here and there anymore either. There were times
when I'd end up babysitting for an entire day, or
even an entire weekend. Jessica would drop the kids off
of my house with a bag of clothes and some snacks,
and I'd barely hear from her until she came to
(01:50):
pick them up. She never offered to pay me, but
she always made it sound like I should be grateful
for the experience or how much the kids enjoyed being
with me. She'd say things like that, they're so lucky
to have a cousin like you, or you're such a
natural with kids. At first, I told myself it was okay.
I love Oliver and Chloe, and I figured it was
(02:10):
just part of being a good family member. But it
started to wear on me. I'm in college now, and
between classes, studying and trying to have a social life,
I don't have a lot of free time. Whenever Jessica
needed a babysitter, it felt like my own plans didn't matter.
She'd guilt trip me if I said no. And eventually
I just stopped making plans altogether because I knew she'd
(02:32):
find a way to talk me into babysitting anyway. Then
last weekend everything came to a head. Jessica asked me
to babysit on Saturday because she had something important to do.
I didn't even bother asking what it was, because honestly,
it didn't matter. I knew she wasn't going to give
me a choice. I ended up watching the kids for
(02:54):
twelve hours. Twelve hours. She dropped them off in the
morning and didn't come back until after ten pm. By
the time she got back, I was exhausted. The kids
had been great, but it was a long day and
I was more than ready to crash. When Jessica came
to pick them up. She seemed totally fine, like nothing
(03:15):
was out of the ordinary. But then as she was leaving,
she dropped a bombshell. She told me I needed to
start paying her for letting me babysit. At first, I
thought she was joking. I actually laughed and said, wait what,
But she wasn't joking. She told me I should appreciate
the fact that she was giving me valuable childcare experience
(03:38):
and that other people would pay for this kind of training.
I was stunned. I couldn't even process what she was saying.
At first, I told her that I'd been babysitting for
her for free for two years and that I didn't
think it was fair for her to ask me to
pay her. On top of that, she rolled her eyes
and said I was being ungrateful. She went on about
(03:58):
how hard it is to be a mom and how
I didn't understand what it's like to not have any help.
She said I should be thanking her for giving me
the opportunity to build character. That was the moment I snapped.
I told her that if this was how it was
going to be, I wasn't going to babysit anymore. I said,
I loved Oliver and Chloe, but I wasn't going to
(04:18):
let her take advantage of me. Jessica lost it. She
started yelling about how I was abandoning my family and
leaving her in the lurch. She said I was selfish
and that she didn't know who I turned into since
starting college. When I talked to my parents about it later,
I thought they'd back me up, but they didn't. They
said I was being selfish and that family comes first.
(04:41):
They told me I should apologize to Jessica and find
a way to make things right. Now, my whole family
is whispering about how I've changed and how I don't
care about anyone but myself. I feel like I'm going crazy.
How am I the bad guy in this situation? I
love my cousins, but I don't think it's fair for
Jessica to treat me like a free babysitting service, or worse,
(05:03):
like I owe her for the privilege of watching her kids.
Am I wrong for refusing to babysit after this? Am
I being selfish? I just don't know anymore. Update one, So,
after everything that happened, I thought I finally made it
clear that I was done babysitting for Jessica. I mean,
how much clearer could I have been? I told her
(05:26):
I wasn't going to be manipulated anymore, and that I
wasn't okay with her ridiculous demand that I pay her
to babysit her kids. I honestly believed i'd put my
foot down for good, But apparently Jessica isn't the kind
of person who lets things go. Yesterday, she showed up
at my house completely unannounced, with a box of cookies
and what she called an apology. It caught me off
(05:49):
guard because I wasn't expecting to see her, and I
definitely wasn't expecting her to show up acting all sweet
and friendly like nothing had ever happened. She handed me
the cookies and started going on about how she did
been reflecting on our conversation. She said she was sorry
if I misunderstood her intentions. That phrasing immediately set off
alarm bells in my head, because, let's be honest, that's
(06:11):
not really an apology. It's just a way of shifting blame.
But I let her talk because I wanted to hear
what she had to say. Jessica claimed she never actually
meant to demand money from me. According to her, she
was just trying to help me understand the value of
the opportunity she was giving me. I almost laughed out
(06:31):
loud at that, but I managed to keep a straight face.
She said she wanted to clear the air and start fresh.
To show how reasonable she was being, she proposed a compromise.
She'd only ask me to babysit twice a week instead
of whenever she needed me. She made it sound like
she was doing me some huge favor, as if scaling
back her expectations was a gift I should be grateful for.
(06:53):
The whole thing felt so fake. She wasn't apologizing because
she genuinely felt bad or realized she was wrong. She
was apologizing because she wanted to manipulate me into going
back to babysitting on her terms. It was infuriating, but
I stayed calm and just told her I appreciated the gesture,
but I wasn't interested in babysitting anymore. I thought that
(07:14):
would be the end of it. Then Oliver, her six
year old, dropped a bombshell. While Jessica was chatting away
and trying to convince me how great her compromise was.
Oliver looked up at me with those big, innocent eyes
and said, Mom, said you don't like us anymore because
you're lazy. For a second, I couldn't even process what
he'd just said. My brain was scrambling to make sense
(07:36):
of it. Did he really just say that? My heart
sank because I could tell he wasn't trying to be mean.
He was just repeating what he'd heard, and it was
clear that it hurt him. I looked at Jessica, waiting
for her to deny it or say something to clarify,
but she froze. The confident, sugary tone she'd been using vanished,
and she started stammering. Finally, she admitted that she had
(07:59):
said something belong ung those lines to the kids, but
she tried to justify it by saying she was just
trying to explain why I wasn't around as much anymore.
According to her, she didn't want them to feel rejected,
so she framed it in a way they'd understand. In
other words, she threw me under the bus to make
herself look like the victim. That was it for me.
(08:20):
I told her I wasn't falling for her manipulations anymore.
I reminded her of all the times I'd rearranged my
life to help her out, how much time and energy
I'd given to her family for free, and how I
never asked for anything in return. I told her it
was unacceptable for her to bad mouth me to her
kids just because I wasn't willing to be her unpaid
babysitter anymore. The whole time, Jessica kept trying to interject,
(08:43):
but I didn't let her. I wanted her to understand
exactly how much she had crossed the line. Eventually, she
grabbed Oliver and Chloe muttered something about me being too
emotional and left. I thought that was the end of it,
but of course it wasn't. Not even an hour later,
my mom came storming into my room. She was furious.
(09:05):
She said Jessica had called her crying about how I'd
embarrassed her in her own home and in front of
her kids. My mom said I should have just let
it go instead of making a scene. According to her,
I was being overly dramatic and I needed to apologize
to Jessica for how I handled the situation. I couldn't
believe what I was hearing. My mom was more concerned
(09:27):
about Jessica's feelings than the fact that Jessica had been
lying to her kids about me. I tried to explain
what happened, but she wasn't having it. She kept saying
that family is family and I should have been the
bigger person. It was so frustrating. I felt like I
was banging my head against a wall. No matter what
I said, my parents seemed determined to side with Jessica.
(09:50):
Now I'm starting to realize that the problem isn't just Jessica,
it's my parents too. They'd been enabling her behavior for years,
and they expect me to do the same. I've always
tried to be a good daughter, a good niece, and
a good cousin. But at what point does it stop?
At what point do I get to set boundaries without
being made to feel like a horrible person. I've decided
(10:12):
I need to start setting boundaries with my parents too.
I love them, but they don't get to dictate how
I spend my time or who I choose to help.
If they want to support Jessica, that's their choice, but
I'm not going to let them guilt trip me into
being her doormat. It's not easy, though, the guilt is
still there, and the whispers from my family aren't helping.
(10:34):
I keep hearing about how I've changed and how I
don't care about anyone but myself. It's exhausting. The one
silver lining is that I know I'm done babysitting. No
matter how much pressure Jessica or my parents put on me,
I'm not going back to being her free childcare. I've
given enough, and I refuse to let her or anyone
else take advantage of me again. It's going to take time,
(10:57):
but I'm learning to stand up for myself, even if
it means upsetting people along the way. Update two. Just
when I thought things couldn't get any more chaotic, Jessica
managed to take things to a whole new level. I
was trying to move on from the whole babysitting situation
and focus on setting boundaries, but Jessica wasn't ready to
let it go. Apparently, she decided that venting about me
(11:20):
to individual family members wasn't enough, so she took it
to the family group chat. It started with a vague message.
She posted something about how some people in the family
don't understand the value of helping each other out and
how we should all be setting better examples for the
younger generation. At first, I didn't think much of it,
because honestly, I've seen her pull stunts like this before.
(11:43):
But then the messages started piling up. Jessica outright accused
me of being selfish, entitled, and a bad influence on
our younger cousins. She claimed I was teaching them that
family doesn't matter and that it's okay to put your
own needs above everyone else's. But the rail kicker was
when she told the entire family that I'd been charging
her to babysit her kids. Yes, you read that right.
(12:07):
She completely flipped the story and made it sound like
I'd been demanding payment from her all along. The audacity
of it was almost impressive. I just sat there staring
at my phone, completely stunned. As the messages kept rolling
in a few relatives jumped in to defend her, saying
things like it's so hard to be a mom, you
should try to understand, or Emma, it wouldn't hurt to
(12:28):
help out more. The worst part was that her husband,
my uncle, actually tried to step in and defend me.
He sent a message saying that I'd been doing Jessica
a favor for years and that it wasn't fair to
drag me through the mud for finally setting boundaries. But
Jessica shut him down in front of everyone, saying he
doesn't understand how hard it is to be a mom
and that he has no right to speak on the matter.
(12:51):
It was painful to watch because it was clear he
was trying to stand up for me, but Jessica bulldozed
right over him. I was still trying to process everything
when I got a private message from my cousin Sarah.
She's twenty three and we've always been pretty close, but
I didn't expect what she had to tell me. She
started by saying she'd been following the group chat drama
(13:11):
and wanted me to know I wasn't crazy or overreacting.
Then she dropped a bombshell. Apparently, Jessica has been going
around telling multiple family members that she's been helping me
out financially by covering my gas and meals when I babysit.
Let me be clear, that is a total lie. Not
once has Jessica ever given me a single penny for gas, food,
(13:32):
or anything else. I've always covered those expenses out of
my own pocket. Sarah told me that Jessica has done
similar things in the past two She has a reputation
for bending the truth to make herself look better or
get out of trouble. For example, she's borrowed money from
other family members and conveniently forgotten to pay it back.
(13:54):
She's even claimed credit for things she didn't do, like
saying she helped plan a family event when all she
did was show up late and eat the food. Hearing
all of this made me feel a little better, because
at least I knew I wasn't the only one dealing
with her manipulations. But it also made me even angrier
because it was clear that this wasn't a one time thing,
this is just who she is. With Sarah's encouragement, I
(14:16):
decided I couldn't let Jessica control the narrative anymore. If
she wanted to air our dirty laundry in the group chat,
then I was going to set the record straight. I
sent a long, detailed message explaining what actually happened. I
laid out how I'd been babysitting for free for two years,
how Jessica had demanded I pay her to babysit, and
how she'd been lying about covering my expenses. I didn't
(14:39):
get nasty or attack her character. I just stuck to
the facts. I wanted the truth to speak for itself.
After I sent the message, I left the group chat.
I didn't want to stick around to watch the inevitable fallout,
and honestly I didn't feel the need to. I'd said
my piece and that was enough for me. But of course,
(14:59):
the fact family drama didn't end there. Sarah kept me
updated and apparently my message caused a huge divide. Half
the family sided with me, saying it was about time
someone called Jessica out on her behavior. The other half
predictably said I was being dramatic in making a mountain
out of a molehill. Jessica unsurprisingly doubled down. She started
(15:23):
texting individual family members trying to spin the situation in
her favor. She said I'd attacked her in the group
chat and that I was trying to turn the family
against her. She even accused me of being jealous of
her because I don't have kids and don't understand the
sacrifices of motherhood. That one actually made me laugh, because
at this point her excuses are just getting ridiculous. My parents,
(15:46):
of course, were not thrilled with how I handle things.
They said I shouldn't have aired family issues in the
group chat and that I should have just talked to
Jessica privately. But here's the thing. Jessica was the one
who took it public first. I just responded to what
she started. I'm tired of being the one who's expected
to keep the peace while everyone else gets to say
(16:07):
and do whatever they want. I've spent years letting Jessica
walk all over me, and I'm done. The silver lining
in all of this is that I've gotten so much
support from people I didn't expect. Sarah has been amazing,
and even my uncle has reached out to say he
appreciates what I did. A few other cousins have messaged
me privately to say they'd had similar experiences with Jessica
(16:29):
and that they're glad someone finally called her out. It
feels good to know I'm not alone in this, even
if the situation is still messy. Up date three. A
few days ago, I got a call from my uncle,
Jessica's husband. This was completely out of the blue, because
he's not the type to reach out unless it's something important.
I almost didn't pick up because I wasn't sure I
(16:51):
could handle any more drama, but I'm glad I did.
My uncle started by apologizing for everything he said he
didn't fully understand and how bad the situation had gotten,
and admitted that Jessica had been out of line. Hearing
that was such a relief, because, for the first time
in this entire mess, I felt genuinely heard by someone
who had been close to the situation. He went on
(17:13):
to explain that Jessica has been under a lot of
financial stress lately, which is something I hadn't known about. Apparently,
their finances have been a mess for a while, and
Jessica has been scrambling to keep things afloat. But instead
of addressing the root of the problem, she was relying
on my unpaid babysittings so she could pick up extra
shifts at work. That part didn't shock me, I'd already
(17:35):
suspected as much. What did shock me was what my
uncle told me next. Instead of using the money from
those extra shifts to pay down debts or cover necessary expenses,
Jessica had been spending it on shopping and other personal luxuries.
My uncle sounded completely defeated as he explained this he
said he didn't realize the extent of it until recently,
(17:55):
when their finances hit a breaking point. He told me
they've started going into counseling together to work on their
communication and financial habits. He didn't defend Jessica's actions, but
did say he thought her stress had caused her to
act out and take advantage of me in ways that
weren't fair. While I appreciated his honesty, it was still
hard to hear. I couldn't help but think about all
(18:17):
the times I'd sacrificed my own plans, energy, and mental
health to help her out, only to find out that
she'd been spending the money on herself. It was a
bitter pill to swallow. After that call, I had a
lot to think about. While I appreciated my uncle's apology
in the fact that he was taking steps to address
the situation, I knew it didn't erase everything that had happened.
(18:40):
I decided that for my own wellbeing, I needed to
distance myself from Jessica for now. That doesn't mean I
hate her or want to cut her out of my
life forever. I still love her kids, and I genuinely
hope she can work through her issues. And come out
stronger on the other side. But I've realized that I
can't keep putting myself in situations where I'm being taken
advantage of, no matter how much I love someone. As
(19:03):
for my parents, they've slowly started to come around. At first,
they were firmly on Jessica's side and accused me of
being selfish and dramatic. But after seeing how much support
I've gotten from other family members and hearing the full
story from my uncle, They've started to understand why I
stood my ground. It's been a slow process, but I
feel like they're beginning to respect my boundaries, even if
(19:25):
they don't fully agree with how I handled everything. It's
not perfect, but its progress. One of the biggest silver
linings in all of this has been my cousin Sarah.
She's been an absolute rock for me throughout this whole ordeal.
We've always been close, but this experience has brought us
even closer. She's been there to listen, offer advice, and
(19:47):
remind me that I'm not crazy for standing up for myself.
She's even shared some of her own struggles with family dynamics,
which has made me feel less alone. I'm so grateful
to have her in my corner. Looking back, I've learned
so much from this situation. For one, I've realized just
how important it is to set boundaries and stick to them.
(20:08):
It's not always easy, especially when it involves family, but
it's absolutely necessary. I've also learned to value my time
and energy more. Just because I'm capable of helping someone
doesn't mean I'm obligated to do it, especially if it
comes at the expense of my own well being. Lastly,
I've learned that it's okay to walk away from toxic situations,
(20:29):
even if it means upsetting people in the process. You
can love someone and still choose to protect yourself from
their behavior. While this entire ordeal has been draining, I'm
walking away from it feeling stronger and more confident in myself.
I'm no longer letting anyone guilt me into doing things
I don't want to do, or making me feel bad
for putting myself first. And most importantly, I'm done being
(20:52):
Jessica's free babysitter. From now on, if I spend time
with kids, it will be on my terms.
My name is Emma and I'm nineteen years old. I've
been babysitting for my aunt Jessica for the past two years,
but what started as a small favor has spiraled into
something I can barely believe. I honestly feel like I'm
losing my mind and I really need an outside perspective
on this. A little backstory. Jessica is my mom's younger sister.
(00:21):
She's thirty eight, and she has two kids, Oliver, who's six,
and Chloe, who's four. They're adorable kids and I love
them to bits. When Jessica first started asking me to babysit,
it was casual and infrequent. She'd call her text, usually
on short notice, and ask if I could watch the
kids for a couple of hours while she ran errands
or had a quick appointment. It didn't bother me. I
(00:45):
was still in high school back then, I had some
free time, and I figured why not. I love spending
time with Oliver and Chloe, and it felt nice to
help Jessica out. Plus, she always framed it as just
a little favor or how much the kids missed me.
But over time things started to change. The requests became
more frequent. Instead of every now and then it was
(01:08):
once or twice a week. Then it was three or
four times. Before I knew it, I was babysitting almost
every weekend. Jessica never really asked any more. It was
more like she just assumed I'd be available if I
had plans or couldn't do it. She'd make comments that
left me feeling guilty, like it must be nice to
have so much free time, or we don't have anyone
(01:29):
else to trust. It started feeling less like a favor
and more like an obligation. It wasn't just a couple
of hours here and there anymore either. There were times
when I'd end up babysitting for an entire day, or
even an entire weekend. Jessica would drop the kids off
of my house with a bag of clothes and some snacks,
and I'd barely hear from her until she came to
(01:50):
pick them up. She never offered to pay me, but
she always made it sound like I should be grateful
for the experience or how much the kids enjoyed being
with me. She'd say things like that, they're so lucky
to have a cousin like you, or you're such a
natural with kids. At first, I told myself it was okay.
I love Oliver and Chloe, and I figured it was
(02:10):
just part of being a good family member. But it
started to wear on me. I'm in college now, and
between classes, studying and trying to have a social life,
I don't have a lot of free time. Whenever Jessica
needed a babysitter, it felt like my own plans didn't matter.
She'd guilt trip me if I said no. And eventually
I just stopped making plans altogether because I knew she'd
(02:32):
find a way to talk me into babysitting anyway. Then
last weekend everything came to a head. Jessica asked me
to babysit on Saturday because she had something important to do.
I didn't even bother asking what it was, because honestly,
it didn't matter. I knew she wasn't going to give
me a choice. I ended up watching the kids for
(02:54):
twelve hours. Twelve hours. She dropped them off in the
morning and didn't come back until after ten pm. By
the time she got back, I was exhausted. The kids
had been great, but it was a long day and
I was more than ready to crash. When Jessica came
to pick them up. She seemed totally fine, like nothing
(03:15):
was out of the ordinary. But then as she was leaving,
she dropped a bombshell. She told me I needed to
start paying her for letting me babysit. At first, I
thought she was joking. I actually laughed and said, wait what,
But she wasn't joking. She told me I should appreciate
the fact that she was giving me valuable childcare experience
(03:38):
and that other people would pay for this kind of training.
I was stunned. I couldn't even process what she was saying.
At first, I told her that I'd been babysitting for
her for free for two years and that I didn't
think it was fair for her to ask me to
pay her. On top of that, she rolled her eyes
and said I was being ungrateful. She went on about
(03:58):
how hard it is to be a mom and how
I didn't understand what it's like to not have any help.
She said I should be thanking her for giving me
the opportunity to build character. That was the moment I snapped.
I told her that if this was how it was
going to be, I wasn't going to babysit anymore. I said,
I loved Oliver and Chloe, but I wasn't going to
(04:18):
let her take advantage of me. Jessica lost it. She
started yelling about how I was abandoning my family and
leaving her in the lurch. She said I was selfish
and that she didn't know who I turned into since
starting college. When I talked to my parents about it later,
I thought they'd back me up, but they didn't. They
said I was being selfish and that family comes first.
(04:41):
They told me I should apologize to Jessica and find
a way to make things right. Now, my whole family
is whispering about how I've changed and how I don't
care about anyone but myself. I feel like I'm going crazy.
How am I the bad guy in this situation? I
love my cousins, but I don't think it's fair for
Jessica to treat me like a free babysitting service, or worse,
(05:03):
like I owe her for the privilege of watching her kids.
Am I wrong for refusing to babysit after this? Am
I being selfish? I just don't know anymore. Update one, So,
after everything that happened, I thought I finally made it
clear that I was done babysitting for Jessica. I mean,
how much clearer could I have been? I told her
(05:26):
I wasn't going to be manipulated anymore, and that I
wasn't okay with her ridiculous demand that I pay her
to babysit her kids. I honestly believed i'd put my
foot down for good, But apparently Jessica isn't the kind
of person who lets things go. Yesterday, she showed up
at my house completely unannounced, with a box of cookies
and what she called an apology. It caught me off
(05:49):
guard because I wasn't expecting to see her, and I
definitely wasn't expecting her to show up acting all sweet
and friendly like nothing had ever happened. She handed me
the cookies and started going on about how she did
been reflecting on our conversation. She said she was sorry
if I misunderstood her intentions. That phrasing immediately set off
alarm bells in my head, because, let's be honest, that's
(06:11):
not really an apology. It's just a way of shifting blame.
But I let her talk because I wanted to hear
what she had to say. Jessica claimed she never actually
meant to demand money from me. According to her, she
was just trying to help me understand the value of
the opportunity she was giving me. I almost laughed out
(06:31):
loud at that, but I managed to keep a straight face.
She said she wanted to clear the air and start fresh.
To show how reasonable she was being, she proposed a compromise.
She'd only ask me to babysit twice a week instead
of whenever she needed me. She made it sound like
she was doing me some huge favor, as if scaling
back her expectations was a gift I should be grateful for.
(06:53):
The whole thing felt so fake. She wasn't apologizing because
she genuinely felt bad or realized she was wrong. She
was apologizing because she wanted to manipulate me into going
back to babysitting on her terms. It was infuriating, but
I stayed calm and just told her I appreciated the gesture,
but I wasn't interested in babysitting anymore. I thought that
(07:14):
would be the end of it. Then Oliver, her six
year old, dropped a bombshell. While Jessica was chatting away
and trying to convince me how great her compromise was.
Oliver looked up at me with those big, innocent eyes
and said, Mom, said you don't like us anymore because
you're lazy. For a second, I couldn't even process what
he'd just said. My brain was scrambling to make sense
(07:36):
of it. Did he really just say that? My heart
sank because I could tell he wasn't trying to be mean.
He was just repeating what he'd heard, and it was
clear that it hurt him. I looked at Jessica, waiting
for her to deny it or say something to clarify,
but she froze. The confident, sugary tone she'd been using vanished,
and she started stammering. Finally, she admitted that she had
(07:59):
said something belong ung those lines to the kids, but
she tried to justify it by saying she was just
trying to explain why I wasn't around as much anymore.
According to her, she didn't want them to feel rejected,
so she framed it in a way they'd understand. In
other words, she threw me under the bus to make
herself look like the victim. That was it for me.
(08:20):
I told her I wasn't falling for her manipulations anymore.
I reminded her of all the times I'd rearranged my
life to help her out, how much time and energy
I'd given to her family for free, and how I
never asked for anything in return. I told her it
was unacceptable for her to bad mouth me to her
kids just because I wasn't willing to be her unpaid
babysitter anymore. The whole time, Jessica kept trying to interject,
(08:43):
but I didn't let her. I wanted her to understand
exactly how much she had crossed the line. Eventually, she
grabbed Oliver and Chloe muttered something about me being too
emotional and left. I thought that was the end of it,
but of course it wasn't. Not even an hour later,
my mom came storming into my room. She was furious.
(09:05):
She said Jessica had called her crying about how I'd
embarrassed her in her own home and in front of
her kids. My mom said I should have just let
it go instead of making a scene. According to her,
I was being overly dramatic and I needed to apologize
to Jessica for how I handled the situation. I couldn't
believe what I was hearing. My mom was more concerned
(09:27):
about Jessica's feelings than the fact that Jessica had been
lying to her kids about me. I tried to explain
what happened, but she wasn't having it. She kept saying
that family is family and I should have been the
bigger person. It was so frustrating. I felt like I
was banging my head against a wall. No matter what
I said, my parents seemed determined to side with Jessica.
(09:50):
Now I'm starting to realize that the problem isn't just Jessica,
it's my parents too. They'd been enabling her behavior for years,
and they expect me to do the same. I've always
tried to be a good daughter, a good niece, and
a good cousin. But at what point does it stop?
At what point do I get to set boundaries without
being made to feel like a horrible person. I've decided
(10:12):
I need to start setting boundaries with my parents too.
I love them, but they don't get to dictate how
I spend my time or who I choose to help.
If they want to support Jessica, that's their choice, but
I'm not going to let them guilt trip me into
being her doormat. It's not easy, though, the guilt is
still there, and the whispers from my family aren't helping.
(10:34):
I keep hearing about how I've changed and how I
don't care about anyone but myself. It's exhausting. The one
silver lining is that I know I'm done babysitting. No
matter how much pressure Jessica or my parents put on me,
I'm not going back to being her free childcare. I've
given enough, and I refuse to let her or anyone
else take advantage of me again. It's going to take time,
(10:57):
but I'm learning to stand up for myself, even if
it means upsetting people along the way. Update two. Just
when I thought things couldn't get any more chaotic, Jessica
managed to take things to a whole new level. I
was trying to move on from the whole babysitting situation
and focus on setting boundaries, but Jessica wasn't ready to
let it go. Apparently, she decided that venting about me
(11:20):
to individual family members wasn't enough, so she took it
to the family group chat. It started with a vague message.
She posted something about how some people in the family
don't understand the value of helping each other out and
how we should all be setting better examples for the
younger generation. At first, I didn't think much of it,
because honestly, I've seen her pull stunts like this before.
(11:43):
But then the messages started piling up. Jessica outright accused
me of being selfish, entitled, and a bad influence on
our younger cousins. She claimed I was teaching them that
family doesn't matter and that it's okay to put your
own needs above everyone else's. But the rail kicker was
when she told the entire family that I'd been charging
her to babysit her kids. Yes, you read that right.
(12:07):
She completely flipped the story and made it sound like
I'd been demanding payment from her all along. The audacity
of it was almost impressive. I just sat there staring
at my phone, completely stunned. As the messages kept rolling
in a few relatives jumped in to defend her, saying
things like it's so hard to be a mom, you
should try to understand, or Emma, it wouldn't hurt to
(12:28):
help out more. The worst part was that her husband,
my uncle, actually tried to step in and defend me.
He sent a message saying that I'd been doing Jessica
a favor for years and that it wasn't fair to
drag me through the mud for finally setting boundaries. But
Jessica shut him down in front of everyone, saying he
doesn't understand how hard it is to be a mom
and that he has no right to speak on the matter.
(12:51):
It was painful to watch because it was clear he
was trying to stand up for me, but Jessica bulldozed
right over him. I was still trying to process everything
when I got a private message from my cousin Sarah.
She's twenty three and we've always been pretty close, but
I didn't expect what she had to tell me. She
started by saying she'd been following the group chat drama
(13:11):
and wanted me to know I wasn't crazy or overreacting.
Then she dropped a bombshell. Apparently, Jessica has been going
around telling multiple family members that she's been helping me
out financially by covering my gas and meals when I babysit.
Let me be clear, that is a total lie. Not
once has Jessica ever given me a single penny for gas, food,
(13:32):
or anything else. I've always covered those expenses out of
my own pocket. Sarah told me that Jessica has done
similar things in the past two She has a reputation
for bending the truth to make herself look better or
get out of trouble. For example, she's borrowed money from
other family members and conveniently forgotten to pay it back.
(13:54):
She's even claimed credit for things she didn't do, like
saying she helped plan a family event when all she
did was show up late and eat the food. Hearing
all of this made me feel a little better, because
at least I knew I wasn't the only one dealing
with her manipulations. But it also made me even angrier
because it was clear that this wasn't a one time thing,
this is just who she is. With Sarah's encouragement, I
(14:16):
decided I couldn't let Jessica control the narrative anymore. If
she wanted to air our dirty laundry in the group chat,
then I was going to set the record straight. I
sent a long, detailed message explaining what actually happened. I
laid out how I'd been babysitting for free for two years,
how Jessica had demanded I pay her to babysit, and
how she'd been lying about covering my expenses. I didn't
(14:39):
get nasty or attack her character. I just stuck to
the facts. I wanted the truth to speak for itself.
After I sent the message, I left the group chat.
I didn't want to stick around to watch the inevitable fallout,
and honestly I didn't feel the need to. I'd said
my piece and that was enough for me. But of course,
(14:59):
the fact family drama didn't end there. Sarah kept me
updated and apparently my message caused a huge divide. Half
the family sided with me, saying it was about time
someone called Jessica out on her behavior. The other half
predictably said I was being dramatic in making a mountain
out of a molehill. Jessica unsurprisingly doubled down. She started
(15:23):
texting individual family members trying to spin the situation in
her favor. She said I'd attacked her in the group
chat and that I was trying to turn the family
against her. She even accused me of being jealous of
her because I don't have kids and don't understand the
sacrifices of motherhood. That one actually made me laugh, because
at this point her excuses are just getting ridiculous. My parents,
(15:46):
of course, were not thrilled with how I handle things.
They said I shouldn't have aired family issues in the
group chat and that I should have just talked to
Jessica privately. But here's the thing. Jessica was the one
who took it public first. I just responded to what
she started. I'm tired of being the one who's expected
to keep the peace while everyone else gets to say
(16:07):
and do whatever they want. I've spent years letting Jessica
walk all over me, and I'm done. The silver lining
in all of this is that I've gotten so much
support from people I didn't expect. Sarah has been amazing,
and even my uncle has reached out to say he
appreciates what I did. A few other cousins have messaged
me privately to say they'd had similar experiences with Jessica
(16:29):
and that they're glad someone finally called her out. It
feels good to know I'm not alone in this, even
if the situation is still messy. Up date three. A
few days ago, I got a call from my uncle,
Jessica's husband. This was completely out of the blue, because
he's not the type to reach out unless it's something important.
I almost didn't pick up because I wasn't sure I
(16:51):
could handle any more drama, but I'm glad I did.
My uncle started by apologizing for everything he said he
didn't fully understand and how bad the situation had gotten,
and admitted that Jessica had been out of line. Hearing
that was such a relief, because, for the first time
in this entire mess, I felt genuinely heard by someone
who had been close to the situation. He went on
(17:13):
to explain that Jessica has been under a lot of
financial stress lately, which is something I hadn't known about. Apparently,
their finances have been a mess for a while, and
Jessica has been scrambling to keep things afloat. But instead
of addressing the root of the problem, she was relying
on my unpaid babysittings so she could pick up extra
shifts at work. That part didn't shock me, I'd already
(17:35):
suspected as much. What did shock me was what my
uncle told me next. Instead of using the money from
those extra shifts to pay down debts or cover necessary expenses,
Jessica had been spending it on shopping and other personal luxuries.
My uncle sounded completely defeated as he explained this he
said he didn't realize the extent of it until recently,
(17:55):
when their finances hit a breaking point. He told me
they've started going into counseling together to work on their
communication and financial habits. He didn't defend Jessica's actions, but
did say he thought her stress had caused her to
act out and take advantage of me in ways that
weren't fair. While I appreciated his honesty, it was still
hard to hear. I couldn't help but think about all
(18:17):
the times I'd sacrificed my own plans, energy, and mental
health to help her out, only to find out that
she'd been spending the money on herself. It was a
bitter pill to swallow. After that call, I had a
lot to think about. While I appreciated my uncle's apology
in the fact that he was taking steps to address
the situation, I knew it didn't erase everything that had happened.
(18:40):
I decided that for my own wellbeing, I needed to
distance myself from Jessica for now. That doesn't mean I
hate her or want to cut her out of my
life forever. I still love her kids, and I genuinely
hope she can work through her issues. And come out
stronger on the other side. But I've realized that I
can't keep putting myself in situations where I'm being taken
advantage of, no matter how much I love someone. As
(19:03):
for my parents, they've slowly started to come around. At first,
they were firmly on Jessica's side and accused me of
being selfish and dramatic. But after seeing how much support
I've gotten from other family members and hearing the full
story from my uncle, They've started to understand why I
stood my ground. It's been a slow process, but I
feel like they're beginning to respect my boundaries, even if
(19:25):
they don't fully agree with how I handled everything. It's
not perfect, but its progress. One of the biggest silver
linings in all of this has been my cousin Sarah.
She's been an absolute rock for me throughout this whole ordeal.
We've always been close, but this experience has brought us
even closer. She's been there to listen, offer advice, and
(19:47):
remind me that I'm not crazy for standing up for myself.
She's even shared some of her own struggles with family dynamics,
which has made me feel less alone. I'm so grateful
to have her in my corner. Looking back, I've learned
so much from this situation. For one, I've realized just
how important it is to set boundaries and stick to them.
(20:08):
It's not always easy, especially when it involves family, but
it's absolutely necessary. I've also learned to value my time
and energy more. Just because I'm capable of helping someone
doesn't mean I'm obligated to do it, especially if it
comes at the expense of my own well being. Lastly,
I've learned that it's okay to walk away from toxic situations,
(20:29):
even if it means upsetting people in the process. You
can love someone and still choose to protect yourself from
their behavior. While this entire ordeal has been draining, I'm
walking away from it feeling stronger and more confident in myself.
I'm no longer letting anyone guilt me into doing things
I don't want to do, or making me feel bad
for putting myself first. And most importantly, I'm done being
(20:52):
Jessica's free babysitter. From now on, if I spend time
with kids, it will be on my terms.
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