My Parents Praised My Golden Child Sister While Calling Me An Embarrassment... - Reddit Family Tales

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
My parents praised my golden child's sister while calling me
an embarrassment. Now I'm successful and they're begging me to
rescue her career. My parents, who have not spoken to
me in five years, just contacted me. I am twenty
nine years old. They want me to help them out, or,
more specifically, my sister. My thirty one year old sister, Claire,
has always been the golden child. My parents never bothered

(00:23):
to hide it because she was superior than me in
every way back then, especially academically, which my parents never
let me forget, since they kept telling me that she
was doing so much better than me at school and
that I needed to buckle down if I wanted to
be in the same league as my sister. She was
accepted into a renowned institution, and five years ago she
became the company's youngest vice president. She had been working

(00:44):
there since she graduated, and she had always been able
to support herself. But later, when she made history by
becoming the company's youngest vice president, her expensive corporate career
became the norm for me to beat, and my parents
couldn't stop rubbing it in. To be honest, I was
not interested in working an nine to five job. I'm
sure life has its advantages, but I've wanted to be
an entrepreneur since I first heard the term five years ago.

(01:07):
After working at many locations and accumulating experience in the
field that I wanted to work in, I decided that
I was finally going to establish my own business, modern
and edgy automobile accessories that I designed myself. I had
spent enough time on research and development and had a
solid business concept to move forward with, so I decided
to go to my parents about it first. Since despite

(01:28):
how they had always treated my sister, I had assumed
they would want the best for me as well. After all,
they were my parents, So I decided to tell them
about it after they had prepared a party for my
sister's new employment. Two days after the party, I approached
them in person and explained my idea. I expected some
type of response, but instead they just laughed and thought
I was attempting to fool them. They found it insulting

(01:50):
that after years of self education, this was my big
idea for my future firm. I told them I was serious,
but they said I shouldn't quit my work because they'd
be embarrassed to introduce their son as a failure. They
said they knew my business was doomed from the start
because I was not capable, and they didn't want me
to fail as severely as my sister, so I had
better continue with the job I already had. I was

(02:11):
quite offended, so I decided to quarrel with them. I
told them that I would go ahead with the business
whether or not they supported it. They told me I
could do whatever I pleased, but I wasn't free from
the repercussions. They warned me that if I pursued my
business idea, they would have to take me out of
their lives because I would be an embarrassment to them,
something they were already aware of. They also expressed their

(02:31):
displeasure with having to introduce their children, one of whom
as a vice president at a famous company, and the other,
at the age of twenty five, is still trying to
sort out his own life. They said they had been
thinking about having this conversation with me for a long time,
and they finally told me that I could either continue
working my way up at my current job and not
embarrass them, or I could do whatever I wanted and
make a fool of myself. But then i'd lose them.

(02:54):
I think it's evident what I did. I decided to
cut them out of my life and never spoke to
them again after that. I have also not communicated with
Claire since then, because she clearly chose our parent's side
over mine, which I am comfortable with. She was too
haughty in any case, so I avoided her from the start.
I'd been dealing with vehicles for a long time, and
that's where my company idea came from, so I believed

(03:15):
in it. I knew this was something that people wanted,
so I decided to go in blind and simply prove
my parents wrong. I quit my job and began working
for my objective. Now I see that was a risky
move and I should not take it so proudly. I
wouldn't advocate it to anyone, but it worked out for me.
Within a few months, I had some investors on board
and was able to launch my own firm. It was

(03:37):
tough at first, I was basically living hand to mouth,
relying solely on word of mouth marketing. People became aware
of my business and I gained an increasing number of consumers. Then,
after approximately a year and a half, things began to
pick up and there was no going back. I'm pretty
comfy right now. I have my own place, which is
very wonderful. I live in a fantastic area, drive a

(03:59):
nice car, and have everything I ever wanted. I wouldn't
say I'm a millionaire, but I'm doing well for myself,
and I don't consider myself a failure as my parents
had expected. So I'd say I proved them incorrect, and
I'm really thrilled about that. I'm so thrilled about it
that I don't even feel the need to include their
face because it's not worth it anyway. I have not
contacted them in the last five years. I even married

(04:22):
my girlfriend of eight years, and we've been married for
two years. Last month we discovered that she was also pregnant.
I've reached so many milestones, yet I've never sought to
contact my parents. They know where to locate me. They
can practically contact any relative and ask where I live
so they can pay me a visit. I know they
know everything about my life since I've maintained in touch

(04:42):
with the rest of our family, and they tell me
that my parents ask about me all the time, yet
never try to contact me. I suppose it is their
method of coping with things. Anyway, They eventually contacted me
last week and asked if i'd be willing to meet them.
I discussed it with my wife, and she said she
wanted me to go ahead and see what this was
all about. They had not said anything in the communication

(05:03):
they had sent me, so I had no idea what
to anticipate, but I went ahead and visited them at
their home. When I arrived, they greeted me kindly, but
I could tell there was something going on. Even when
I lived with them, they were never as polite to me,
so even while they made small conversation with me, I
sensed they were preparing for something. They finally addressed the
elephant in the room. They told me they had heard

(05:24):
about my business and wanted to congratulate me. They made
no apologies and simply stated that they were delighted I
had been able to prove them incorrect and that their
initial mistrust had vanished. That was wonderful, and I didn't
know what to say, so I simply smiled. But then
they told me Claire had been unfortunate in the last
few months. Apparently her company was not doing well and
there had been many layoffs. Even high management had been fired,

(05:46):
including her, so for the past four months, she had
been sitting at home doing nothing. My parents told me
that she had been trying to find another employment, but
after working for the same firm for so long, she
didn't know what to do and was quite depressed about
how things turned out for her. I found it perplexing
that they were talking about her because there wasn't much
I could do, so I simply let them continue because

(06:07):
I wanted to see where they were going with this talk.
After a while, they got to the point and asked
whether I would be willing to hire my sister. She
was currently too depressed to apply for employment on her own,
and all of the offers she received were below her
pay grade. She did need something, and my parents wanted
to know whether I would be willing to offer her
a position in my company, one that paid well and
allowed her to bring her own expertise to the table.

(06:29):
When they asked the question, I had no idea what
to answer, so I told them I needed some time
to think about it and will let them know my
decision later. I didn't say yes on purpose, since I
wasn't sure how to reply. I should have realized they
weren't approaching me for no reason, given that they had
previously had the opportunity but had never taken it. They
were rather happy with themselves. I believe they expected me

(06:50):
to say yes, But after returning home, I thought about
it for a long and, after consulting with my wife,
decided to decline. She works in a bank and has
little to do with my company, but she assured me
that this was a professional environment. In here everything I
say goes, so she didn't want to interfere. If I
thought I wouldn't be able to work well with my sister,

(07:11):
that was what I should do in any case. She
didn't believe my parents' attempts to reconnect with me were sincere,
so I had no need to comply anyway. I had
never pledged to help, therefore I had no obligation to
provide her with a job. I didn't want to tell
them about it, since I knew if I said no,
they'd take advantage of the situation and make me appear bad.
I attempted to avoid any confrontation, but then they began

(07:34):
texting me every day to see what my response was.
I even ignored it, but they called me back two
days later and told me I needed to respond, So
I informed them that I had thought about it, and
after much discussion, had decided that I could not work
well with Claire and did not want her to work
with me. We'd never had a nice relationship, so I
didn't feel obligated to hire her or them. When I

(07:54):
mentioned that, they completely flipped out. They began yelling at
me about everything they had done for me, including races
me and paying for everything I desired as a child,
and now when they wanted me to repay the favor,
I was turning my back on them and pretending that
I owed them nothing. I thought it was an extremely
harsh thing to say, considering they did everything for me
back then because I was completely reliant on them. To

(08:15):
be honest, I believe it would be unlawful to simply
refuse to do that for me. Besides, that wasn't the point,
So I tried to explain to them that I wouldn't
be able to work effectively with Claire, which was the
only reason I didn't want her in my company. I
didn't think they needed to yell at me and behave
like that just because of this. Also, we haven't spoken
in five years because they told me they didn't believe

(08:35):
in me and wouldn't invest in my business, so they
had no right to think I'd let them bully me around.
But they continued to shout at me, claiming that they
had only contacted me because they believed that after five
years I would have finally let it go now that
I was doing well. Instead, I was being selfish, clinging
onto old grudges and unwilling to aid my own family.
They reminded me that Claire was my sister and because

(08:58):
she was in difficulty, I needed to be there for her.
They even claimed she would have done the same for
me if I had been in her situation. They informed
me that if my business had failed, they would have
supported me, and I owed it to them to support
her as well. It became quite unclear, and the dispute
heated up. After a while, I informed them I didn't
want to talk to them anymore, so I hung up
and blocked their numbers. Since then, I've been quite confused

(09:21):
about my thoughts because of what my parents said about
how they would have supported me if I had in
Claire's situation. I spoke with my wife about it, and
she claims that they only said these things because I
was not in her position and they were attempting to
manipulate me. So I don't have to fall for any
of that because they haven't even apologized to me yet
and yet expect me to help her out. My sister

(09:41):
was never kind to me as a child, and everyone
continually picked on me. I know my wife is correct,
yet I have a nagging feeling of guilt. I'm not sure.
I simply feel uneasy about everything. Am I the idiot
for not hiring my sister after she lost her corporate job?
Update one, Thank you very much for responding to my post.
It's been a while since I spoke with my folks,

(10:03):
and I know what I did wasn't such a huge thing.
To be honest, it's unlikely that my sister will never
find work again. It's just that I don't want to
work with her. I mentioned that I had discussed it
with my wife and the two of us had chosen
to remain with our decision, but that doesn't set well
with my parents. They've been making it sound like I've
always been envious of my sister and was excited about

(10:23):
the opportunity to do this to my family. I don't
even understand why they're taking this so seriously, given that
they've been contacting every single relative we have about it.
It's not like these relatives are just talking to them
and bringing it up in conversation. They go out of
their way to text them and tell them all about me.
It's ludicrous how they're acting, and I believe it's a
call for attention, but I won't give it to them.

(10:45):
They have been blocked, and no matter what they do,
I will not unblock them or engage with them about it.
Some relatives who tried to contact me even sent me screenshots.
I answered to them by explaining the full incident. It's
not like they didn't already know. For the past five years,
my parents and I have run into each other at
family gatherings but never spoken, so most people were aware

(11:05):
of our strained relationship. But this is going too far,
directly involving relatives and making me seem awful. Anyway, after
I cleared things with several of my relatives, the majority
of them urged me not to worry about my parents.
They were not going to turn against me because they
knew what had happened in the past. They understand that
my parents are overreacting right now. That's what I'm happy

(11:26):
about right now. Honestly, my wife is pregnant, so I
don't think I have time to worry about these things
right now. I had planned to make the announcement in
a couple of weeks, but I guess I'll do it sooner,
just so my folks will get the message and quit
bothering me. I think it's a nice concept, but we're
not sure if it will work because my parents are
quite callous. They might even try to disturb us despite

(11:46):
knowing my wife is pregnant. I would not put it
past them. Update two. Hello, So my wife and I
announced the pregnancy on social media a few days ago.
It's been roughly ten days since I last spoke with
my parents. Most of my relatives can congratulated me, But
then I received an email from an unknown sender claiming
that my child will suffer as a result of my
actions toward my family. I immediately recognized my parents. It

(12:10):
had to be because no one else would even think
of uttering something so heinous. My baby hasn't even been
born yet, and they're already wishing us ill because I
refused to help my sister It's not like Claire had
sought me directly for assistance, in which case I may
have considered things. My parents, however, wanted me to offer
her a job. Anyway, that's not the point. Even if

(12:30):
I had done something truly awful, I do not believe
they would have the right to say such things. I
didn't inform my wife about the email, since I didn't
want to upset her, even though she is still in
the early stages of her pregnancy. Reading stuff like these
is really disappointing. I decided to deal with this on
my own. I went over to my parents place to
speak with them in person. I didn't want to unblock them,

(12:52):
so visiting them was the only option to communicate. But
they refused to even open the door to let me in,
most likely because they knew what they had done was wrong.
So I just spoke to them from outside their house,
and I completely lost my patience. I raged at them,
telling them that they had no right to say such things,
especially given how they had treated me during my childhood

(13:12):
and for the previous five years, as if I wasn't
even a member of the family. They wanted a piece
of my achievement and wanted to share it with my sister,
even if they had never compelled Claire to do such
things when I was struggling. To be honest, they had
not even supported me when I was struggling, so they
did not deserve to communicate with me. At this point,
I informed them that whatever they were doing was ineffective

(13:33):
since it was further isolating me from them. I also
stated that I never wanted to speak with them again,
and even if they apologized, I would not forgive them
in the future, so they could say goodbye to any
assistance from me when they retired, and they would never
get to meet their grandchild either. After saying that, I
left and returned home, and I'm really relieved right now.

(13:53):
I'd been holding these things back for a long time,
ever since they began bothering me, but it was about
time that I responded appropriately. I have not yet informed
my wife about this interaction because I do not want
to disturb her. I don't think I will, at least
until the pregnancy is over. Update three hi. After I
spoke with my parents in person last week, they decided

(14:14):
to rest for a time and do nothing. I also
had a pregnancy announcement party at my place for certain
family and close friends. I anticipated my folks to do
something that day, but they didn't bother, so I assumed
they had finally moved on from this entire experience, and
I was attempting to do the same. But then this morning,
Claire called me when I was at work. That was
weird because she had ceased speaking with me five years

(14:36):
ago and I had no idea what she wanted. For
a brief moment, I considered that she may approach me
in the same way that my parents did and demand
that I give her a job, forcing me to repeat
the entire scenario. So I ignored her initial call. But
then she contacted me a couple more times and messaged
me stating it was an urgent matter and she wanted
to speak with me. She assured me that I would

(14:56):
not need to worry because she would not expect anything
from me. She explained that she simply wanted to share
something that had been bothering her for some time. So
I opted to answer the phone and we talked today.
She explained that she had been despondent for several weeks
and had not spoken to anyone, disregarding all texts and
emails she had received. Including those from relatives. It wasn't

(15:17):
until a few days ago that she read those messages
and understood that everyone was talking about how unfair it
was for our parents to expect me to provide her
a job, especially when they had never treated me properly.
Claire was perplexed because she had been speaking with our
parents on a daily basis for the past few weeks,
but they had not said anything about such family events.
She had talked with them after reading those messages and

(15:38):
inquired if they had done anything of the such, but
they flatly refused, claiming they had no idea what was
being alluded to. She suspected they were lying to her,
so she called me instead to find out the truth.
She mentioned that she had spoken with our parents about
her work predicament and how distraught she was. She'd never
asked for my help, so she couldn't understand why they'd
enlisted me and then tried to force me to contact

(16:00):
her and offer her a job when she hadn't asked
for it. After some deliberation, I decided to tell her
the truth because I believed she deserved to know what
our parents had been up to behind her back. I
gave her the entire thing that they had told me.
I explained that once they told me about her position,
they told me that I needed to get her a
job and help my family, since she was not in
a good place right now and they didn't want her

(16:22):
to suffer. I informed her that while their initial aim
was to really aid and support her in getting her
life back on track, it gradually degenerated into harassing me,
which I was not okay with. I told Claire that
I was very sad about her employment because I knew
how important it was to her and how much work
she had put in. It couldn't have been easy being
laid off like that. But truthfully, she knew we never

(16:43):
got along and wouldn't function well together, which is why
I denied our parents' request. Claire seems to comprehend. She
informed me that she was not interested in working with me.
She did not intend it offensively, but she was simply
not in the appropriate frame of mind to work with
anyone right now, so she was taking a break on deliberately.
Our parents had given the impression that she had no
proposals worth considering, but she did. She was only holding

(17:06):
out because she wanted to rest. It was her personal choice.
She wasn't upset, but she made the decision to not
work for a while on her own. She was frustrated,
so she vented to me for a while and I
led her. Even though we weren't on the greatest of
terms any more, I believed she needed it. After we
had a complete chat about it, she told me that
she was really upset about what our parents had done

(17:27):
to her, because it made her appear desperate and gave
people the wrong impression, as if she was attempting to
persuade our parents to compel me to hire her. She
told me she was going to talk to them about it,
and she apologized for everything I had been through. I
thought it was quite mature of her, and I honestly
felt like she had matured a lot over the last
five years, especially after being laid off. I suppose she

(17:48):
understood that nothing is permanent and that she shouldn't be
so haughty. Perhaps that was a lesson in disguise. Anyway,
we weren't able to make things right, but we did
have a decent conversation, which I think is enough for
me At date four. Claire and I chatted by phone
a few days earlier. After our chat she stated that
she would speak with our parents and confront them about
what they had done. She did this, and it did

(18:09):
not go well. Our parents were defensive, claiming that they
were only trying to help her. Since they didn't think
her decision to take some time for herself was a
good one, they insisted that she resume her search for
a better career immediately. They ended up in a massive
quarrel because Claire accused them of trying to control her
life from the start and never allowing her to make
her own decisions even as an adult. Of course, my

(18:31):
folks were upset about it. They began listing all of
the things they had done for her, which were the
typical things parents do for their children. I'm not sure
why they always feel it's appropriate to talk about it
as if it were a favor. It wasn't a favor.
They had to do it regardless. The fight escalated to
the point where Claire no longer speaks to them. And
who do they blame for all of this? Yes, they're

(18:52):
blaming me again. I just don't get how I can
become the scapegoat for almost every problem they end up in.
This time, no personal conferenceations occurred. Instead, they just decided
to create a Facebook post about it. Lucky for me,
all of our relatives rushed to my aid and called
my parents out on their stupidity. They reminded them that
they had been bad parents, not just to me, but

(19:13):
also to Claire in some ways because they continued to
attempt to control and push her, especially when she was
already going through a difficult time. They should have been
there for her morally and emotionally encouraging her. Instead, they
were putting her down even more and portraying her as
the evil guy. After receiving several comments from relatives, my
parents decided to erase the post and block everyone in

(19:33):
the family. To summarize, pretty much, everyone has ostracized them now,
which I am really glad about. Claire has apologized for
mistreating me in the past, and we want to work
on improving our relationship in the future. But for now,
my wife is the most important thing in my life
and I am very happy to be a father.