My Step-Niece_s Lie Almost Destroyed My Marriage. Three Days Later... - Reddit Family Tales

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
My step nieces Lie almost destroyed my marriage. Three days later,
she admitted she lied to impress her friends at school,
so I banned her forever. I, a twenty seven year
old female, need to discuss what happened at my family
reunion last month, because I am still processing how rapidly
things came apart. My husband, Leander, is thirty three years

(00:21):
old and we have been married for four years. We
live in a little house about twenty five minutes from
my parents and the majority of my extended relatives. My sister,
Beatrix thirty four, married John thirty nine two years ago.
John welcomed his seventeen year old daughter, Sabine from his
previous marriage into our family. Sabine's biological mother resides in

(00:41):
another state and sees her around twice a year. When
John and Beatrix got together, the entire family made a
big effort to welcome Sabine. My parents invited her to
every holiday. My mother bought her birthday and graduation gifts.
I included her in our cousin group chats, and ensured
she had some one to talk to at family gatherings.
Sabine appeared to appreciate these attempts at first, She would

(01:03):
hug my parents good bye and express her gratitude for dinner.
She assisted my mother in the kitchen during the holidays.
During family gatherings, she and my younger cousins would play
board games together. John expressed gratitude for how we embraced
his daughter. He told Beatrix several times how fortunate he
felt to marry into such a warm family. Dorian, my
sixteen year old male cousin, is Beatrix's son from her

(01:25):
first marriage. He and Sabine attended the same high school
and appeared to get along well. Dorian is quiet, yet
he has always remained close to our family. He spends
every other weekend at my parents house and considers it
his second home. Last month, we threw my father's birthday
party at our place. About seventeen family members gathered for
an afternoon cookout. Leander spent the majority of the day

(01:48):
cooking on our back yard patio and playing catch with
the younger kids. Sabine sat at our kitchen table with
her phone throughout the majority of the gathering. She spoke
out when someone addressed her directly, but otherwise kept to herself.
Our home has two bathrooms. The main bathroom is located
down the hallway from the living room. Our master bathroom
connects to our bedroom. During parties, guests always use the

(02:10):
hall bathroom because the main bedroom is off limits. Leander
and I keep our bedroom door closed during gatherings. The
party ran smoothly. Sabine ate dinner with everyone and thanked
them before leaving with Beatrix and John. Leander and I
cleaned up afterward and discussed how lovely it was to
have everyone over. There was nothing odd or disturbing about
the day. Three days later, Dorian arrived at our front

(02:31):
door about five p m. He appeared pale and shifted
his weight from foot to foot. He asked if he
might come inside and talk. I carried him into the
living room and offered him a drink. Dorian sat on
the edge of the couch, staring at his hands. He
stated he had heard something at school and needed to
tell me about it. He stated that some of Sabine's
friends were discussing what happened at our party. According to

(02:53):
what Dorian heard, Sabine told her friends that Leander entered
the bathroom when she was using it. She stated that
he purposed exposed himself to her. I sat there for
a bit trying to understand what Dorian had just said.
The claim was so ludicrous that my initial reaction was
perplexity rather than outrage. I asked Dorian to repeat exactly
what he had heard he claimed. Sabine informed her friends

(03:15):
that she was in the bathroom when Leander entered the
door without knocking. She claims he lingered there for a
few seconds before apologizing and departing. Her story's logistics were confusing.
Guests used the hall bathroom all day, which has a
lock on the inside. Leander spent virtually the whole party outside,
grilling meals and overseeing the children in the backyard. He
came inside to replenish drinks or get more food from

(03:37):
the kitchen. He never went down the hall to the restrooms.
I called Leander just after Dorian left. His reaction was
complete shock. He asked me to repeat what Dorian had
said twice because he couldn't believe somebody would fabricate such
a serious claim. We spent an hour going over every
detail of the party attempting to figure out when this
alleged incident would have occurred. There was no period of

(03:59):
time when Leander was missing and may have been near
the bathroom. I called my parents that evening and asked
them to meet Beatrix, John, and Sabine the next day.
I did not convey the reason over the phone because
I wanted to handle it in person with everyone present.
My parents agreed to host the conference in their home
the following afternoon. We convened in my folks living room.

(04:19):
Sabine sat on the couch between Beatrix and John. She
was nervous and kept staring at the door as if
she wanted to escape. My parents sat in their normal recliners,
while Leander and I took the love seat across from Sabine.
I looked Sabine in the eyes and told her that
Dorian had told her an intriguing narrative about what she
had been telling her school buddies. I requested her to

(04:40):
tell the story for everyone in the room. Sabine's face
turned scarlet, and she began stammering about not understanding what
I meant. I explained that, according to her account of events,
Leander had walked in on her in our bathroom and
exposed himself. The room became utterly silent. Beatrix's mouth dropped open.
John gazed back and forth between Sabine and me as

(05:01):
if he were solving a conundrum. Sabine began crying and
stated that she never intended for anyone to take it seriously.
She claimed that her friends at school were often discussing
inappropriate encounters with older males, and she felt excluded from
their chats. She admitted that she made up the tale
to fit in with what her pals were saying. She
explained that she destroyed my husband's reputation in order to

(05:22):
appear more mature and experience to her young buddies. She
explained that she chose Leander because he was the most
recent adult man she had been around. She claimed she
did not believe the news would spread beyond her small group.
I stepped up from the love seat and glanced at Sabine,
who was crying into her hands. I informed her she
was lying and that her actions could have cost an
innocent guy his life. I stated that false allegations such

(05:45):
as hers put men in prison and damage families. I
informed her she had jeopardized my husband's job and our
future together merely to please her pals. I turned to
Beatrix and John and told them that Leander and I
would never be in the same room with Sabine again.
I stated that this was not a punishment that will
stop after a few months or years. I informed them
that Sabine was forever barred from our home and any

(06:06):
events we hosted or attended. John began to mention something
about Sabine being a teenager who made a mistake. I
interrupted him and stated that sixteen year olds understood the
difference between truth and falsehoods. I stated that someone who
can fabricate sexual assault charges cannot be trusted near my family.
Beatrix attempted to argue that Sabine had confessed and apologized.

(06:27):
I informed Beatrix that an apology cannot restore the harm
caused by sharing false information about sexual assault. I told
Sabine that she had displayed her true character and we
would not give her another chance to injure us. My
parents listened throughout the whole chat without saying much. After
I finished speaking, my father informed John and Beatrix that
Sabine was no longer allowed in family gatherings held at

(06:49):
their home. He refused to have someone in their home
who would lie about such vital topics. The conference finished
with John, Beatrix, and Sabine leaving in tears. Leander and
I drove home so silently. The next day, Beatrix called
to inform me that Sabine would be returning to live
with her birth mother in another state. She explained that
John had determined that the situation was too harmful to

(07:10):
their marital and family stability. Dorian has been staying with
us for the past three weeks while Beatrix and John
work out their living arrangements. He claimed Sabine's pals at
school discovered she had lied about everything. After the truth
was out, most of them stopped speaking with her. I
understand that some people may believe I reacted too aggressively
to a teenager's deception, but false charges of sexual assault

(07:31):
are not pranks or misunderstandings. They ruined lives and reputations.
Sabine understood exactly what she was doing when she shared
that story. She made a deliberate choice to compromise my
husband's reputation for her own social standing. Leander and I
are moving on with our lives. We intend to start
a family next year and buy a larger house. We
have the support of my parents and Dorian, who witnessed

(07:53):
Sabine's cruelty. Our marriage withstood this test because we confronted
it together and refused to allow a lie. Separated us
update one. I had several messages requesting an update, So
here is what has happened since my first post. Sabine
returned to her mother's home in Oregon two days after
our family meeting. John drove her there and stayed with
her for a week to help her adjust. Beatrix stayed

(08:16):
at home with Dorian throughout that period. When John returned,
he was fatigued and appeared to have aged several years.
The first week following Sabine's departure was quiet. Beatrix avoided
phoning me, and John did not attend family dinner at
my parents place on Sundays as he usually did. Dorian
stayed with us during this time and looked relieved to
be away from the situation. Beatrix then called to tell

(08:37):
me some news that changed everything. She stated John had
been calling Sabine every night since she relocated to Oregon.
During one of these calls, Sabine admitted that lying about
Leander was not her first false claim. According to Beatrix,
Sabine admitted to John that she had made similar allegations
about a teacher at her previous school in Oregon. That
claim had led to Sabine's decision to live with John

(08:58):
and Beatrix in the first place. Sabine's mother had taken
her out of that school and sent her to live
with John since the situation had gotten too difficult. John
had never been informed the true reason Sabine came to
live with them. Sabine's mother had simply stated that Sabine
required a change of atmosphere and would benefit from living
with her father. John assumed it was usual adolescent rebellion

(09:19):
or adjustment challenges following his divorce. When John called Sabine's
mother to check this information, she stated that Sabine had
accused a male teacher of inappropriate behavior. The school investigated
and found no evidence to back up Sabine's assertions. Other
pupils contradicted her account of events. The teacher was cleared
of any wrongdoing, but the accusation caused enough drama that

(09:40):
Sabine's mother chose to take her abroad. Beatrix claimed. John
was saddened to learn Sabine had a history of making
false claims. He recognized that our family's decision to cut
ties with Sabine was absolutely justified. He also understood why
Sabine's mother had agreed so quickly to take her back permanently.
This realization completely transformed John's world. Instead of seeing Sabine

(10:01):
as a confused adolescent who made a single poor decision,
he regarded her as someone with a major problem that
could harm innocent people. He admitted to Beatrix that he
felt bad for not protecting our family better. The revelations
concerning Sabine's past also clarified several previously unclear details. John
stated that Sabine's mother was especially keen to have Sabine

(10:22):
live with him permanently. At the time, John assumed it
was because Sabine's mother wanted to focus on her new romance.
Now he knew Sabine's mother was probably happy that Sabine
was no longer her burden. Dorian wasn't surprised when Beatrix
informed him about Sabine's earlier claims. He claimed Sabine had
always been dramatic and attention seeking in school. He claimed

(10:42):
that she would exaggerate her life stories to make them
more intriguing. He stated that some of his friends found
her statements difficult to believe, but they didn't want to
brand her a liar outright. John decided to minimize his
interaction with Sabine after learning about her history of false charges.
He still sends her money and calls her once a week,
but he no longer plans to visit her or bring
her home for holidays. He informed Beatrix that he needed

(11:05):
to prioritize his marriage and Dorian's safety. This decision caused
disagreement between John and Sabine's mother. Sabine's mother called Beatrix
to complain that John abandoned his daughter when she needed help.
Beatrix recounted the matter to Sabine's mother, telling her that
John had never been informed of Sabine's earlier charges. Sabine's
mother reacted defensive, claiming the instructor event was a misunderstanding.

(11:27):
Beatrix asked Sabine's mother why she hadn't told John about
Sabine's proclivity for making false allegations. Sabine's mother expressed her
optimism that the behavior was merely a phase that Sabine
would outgrow. She admits that she should have been more
open with John before sending Sabine to live with him.
Beatrix's conversation with Sabine's mother got heated. Sabine's mother accused

(11:48):
our family of being unkind and nasty to a disturbed kid.
Beatrix retorted that Sabine's lives may have ended Leander's career
in our marriage. Both women were upset as they hung
up the phone. Dorian has thrived since Sabine departed. He
grins more and appears more relaxed in the house. He
informed Beatrix that he had been walking on eggshells around
Sabine since he had no idea what would set her off.

(12:10):
He said Sabine would become upset with him for minor
infractions and threaten to inform John that Dorian had been
cruel to her. John and Beatrix have been attending couples
counseling to deal with the effects of this event on
their marriage. John feels bad about bringing Sabine into our
home without knowing her complete history. Beatrix is frustrated that
she has defended Sabine for so long without knowing the truth.

(12:32):
The counselor has helped John understand how to keep a
relationship with Sabine while also safeguarding his marriage and stepson.
John now understands that being a father does not entail
condoning toxic conduct or sacrificing other relationships. My parents have
been quite supportive throughout this scenario. My father informed John
that he appreciates his decision to prioritize his marriage and

(12:52):
Dorian's well being. My mother stated that she hopes Sabine
receives therapy for her difficulties, but she stands by her
decision to keep Sabine Apart from our family, Leander and
I have been working on our own plans and ambitions.
We submitted an offer on a house with three bedrooms
and a larger backyard. Leander was promoted at work, which
will allow us to afford the new mortgage. We're looking

(13:12):
forward to beginning over in a new place. The situation
has brought our extended family closer together. Dorian spends more
time with my parents now that Sabine isn't around to
cause problems. John has gotten more involved in family activities
and appears more calm. Beatrix and I have started getting
coffee together once a week to catch up without talking
about Sabine. Several people have questioned if I feel sorry

(13:35):
for Sabine and whether I intend to give her another
chance in the future. The answer is no. Sabine's history
of false charges demonstrates that this was not a one
time error made by a bewildered adolescent. She has a
history of telling big lies to manipulate circumstances and gain attention.
I'm glad the truth came out before Sabine could make
further claims against other innocent people. Our family is stronger

(13:57):
and more calm without her. Update two. I'm here with
another update, since Sabine's position has taken some unforeseen turns,
which I believe everybody following this narrative should be aware of.
About a month ago, I received a call from Megan,
who introduced herself as the mother of one of Sabine's
former acquaintances. Megan revealed that her daughter, Maris, was friends
with Sabine at their Oregon school before she moved home

(14:19):
with John and Beatrix. Megan explained that Maris had been
following social media posts from Sabine's current acquaintances and heard
about what transpired through a fake charge against Leander. Maris
informed her mother that Sabine had made similar allegations about
other persons while living in Oregon, including the teacher incident
that Beatrix had described. According to Maris. Sabine also accused

(14:40):
a male student at their Oregon school of inappropriate behavior
during a school dance. Maris stated that Sabine claimed this
kid had cornered her in an empty classroom and made
inappropriate advances. The school also investigated this accusation, which turned
out to be incorrect. Multiple witnesses reported seeing Sabine with
the accused student in separate locations around the time Sabine

(15:00):
said the event occurred. Marius told her mother that Sabine
seemed to relish the attention and commotion around her charges.
Marius stated that Sabine would become thrilled when discussing these
situations and would add additional details each time she related
the stories. Marius later stopped being friends with Sabine after
realizing she was lying about these interactions. Megan phoned because

(15:21):
she was frightened Sabine might make similar charges against others
in other areas. She stated that Maris felt awful for
not speaking up sooner about Sabine's tendency of lying. Megan
wanted to make sure our family understood that Sabine's actions
in our community was not an isolated incidents. This chat
reinforced our suspicions about Sabine's character, but it was troubling

(15:42):
to realize that her false allegations had harmed numerous innocent
people in various schools and towns. I informed Beatrix and John.
John was dismayed to find that Sabine's troubles were considerably
more serious than he had imagined. He stated that he
felt he knew nothing about his own daughter. Beatrix expressed
gratitude that we had been strong in our choice to
terminate relations with Sabine. Two weeks following Meghan's call, John

(16:05):
got a call from Sabine's school counselor in Oregon. According
to the counselor, Sabine had been trying to establish friends
and had been caught spreading tales about her classmates. The
councilor inquired if John was aware of Sabine's history of
making false charges, since the school intended to address this
pattern of behavior. John was open with the counselor about
what had transpired in our family and what he had

(16:27):
discovered regarding Sabine's past claims. The councilor stated that the
school will work with Sabine's mother to build a plan
to handle Sabine's conduct, but John should be aware that
Sabine may need to change schools again. John told Beatrix
that he was overwhelmed by Sabine's troubles. He claimed he
attempted to be a good father by providing financial support
and remaining in touch, but he didn't know how to

(16:48):
assist someone who continued to lie and manipulate circumstances. The
counselor that John and Beatrix had been seeing suggested that
John establish clear boundaries with Sabine on appropriate behavior. The
councilor indicated that anabing Sabine's falsehoods and manipulation would not
benefit her in the long run. John chose to speak
directly with Sabine about the repercussions of her behavior. During

(17:09):
their next phone call, John informed Sabine that he was
aware of her history of false charges dating back to
her time in Oregon. He stated that he loved her,
but could no longer support her if she continued to
lie about innocent people. He told Sabine she needed to
accept responsibility for her actions and stop fabricating stories for attention.
Sabine became enraged during the meeting, accusing John of prioritizing

(17:31):
his new family over his biological daughter. She said that
everyone was out to get her and no one realized
how difficult her life had been. John stayed calm, telling
Sabine that many individuals faced difficult circumstances without resorting to
false allegations and manipulation. Sabine hung up on John during
the chat. She did not return his calls for the
next two weeks. When John finally spoke with Sabine's mother,

(17:53):
he discovered that Sabine had informed her mother that John
had been nasty and unsupportive during their previous conversation. Sabine's
mother originally believed Sabine's account of events and contacted John
to complain. John told Sabine's mother exactly what he said
during the phone discussion with Sabine. He told Sabine's mother
that he was trying to make her grasp the significant
repercussions of her actions. Sabine's mother eventually acknowledged that Sabine

(18:17):
was experiencing similar troubles at her new school in Oregon.
Sabine's mother said she didn't know how to deal with
Sabine's actions. She claimed Sabine would cry and play the
victim if confronted with her lies. Sabine's mother asked John
if he had any ideas for getting Sabine aid. John
recommended that Sabine's mother seek professional therapy for Sabine's tendency
of lying and manipulation. He stated that Sabine needed to

(18:40):
understand that her actions had serious ramifications for innocent people.
Sabine's mother agreed to look into counseling possibilities, although she
expressed concern about the cost. Dorian has been doing well
since Sabine left. His grades have improved and he's become
more gregarious with his pals. He joined the school basketball
team and now spends weekends with the teammates. Beatrix described

(19:02):
Dorian as a different person without Sabine's incessant drama and
manipulation in the house. Dorian informed Beatrix last week that
several of his school friends had asked him about Sabine
and why she had left so abruptly. Dorian stated that
he informed his pals that Sabine had been spreading stories
about family members and that his parents had decided it
was best for her to live elsewhere. Dorian stated that

(19:23):
his pals understood and did not seek any clarification. John
has been doing better since he established boundaries with Sabine.
He continues to provide her financial support on a monthly basis,
but he no longer feels bad about his lack of
closeness with her. The counselor helped John see that protecting
innocent people from Sabine's lives was more vital than keeping
a relationship based on condoning bad behavior. Throughout this ordeal,

(19:46):
Beatrix and I have grown closer together. She has been
open about how tough it was to accept Sabine's manipulation
and danger. Beatrix stated that she had hoped Sabine would
change and become a better person, but she now realizes
that Sabine's issues are too signific eifican to ignore or overlook.
Leander and I closed on our new home last week.
We are thrilled to have additional space in a fresh start.

(20:07):
We invited my parents, Beatrix, John, and Dorian to supper
this weekend to celebrate. It will be our first family
gathering since the event with Sabine, and we are excited
to spend time together without worrying about drama or false allegations.
The entire event has taught our family the value of
safeguarding innocent individuals from those who will lie and manipulate
for personal gain. We discovered that sometimes the most compassionate

(20:28):
thing you can do is create hard boundaries with those
who refuse to modify their damaging conduct. Update three. This
is my final update on the Sabine situation. Several people
have messaged me inquiring how things turned out, so I
wanted to bring some closure to this story. Sabine's mother
called John around six weeks ago, informing him that Sabine
had been expelled from her Oregon school. According to the

(20:50):
school administration, Sabine made yet another false accusation, this time
against a male substitute teacher. Sabine alleged that the substitute
teacher made improper remarks to her during the study hall time.
The school extensively researched Sabine's accusations. They examined security camera
footage from the classroom and hallway, interviewed other students who
attended the study hall and spoke with the substitute teacher.

(21:12):
The investigation proved that Sabine's accusation was entirely baseless. The
security tape revealed that Sabine and the substitute instructor had
little interaction, and other students confirmed that nothing untoward had occurred.
The school principle informed Sabine's mother that this was the
last occurrence that they would accept. Sabine had already been
placed on probation for spreading rumors about her peers and

(21:34):
causing disruptions in class. The bogus charge against the replacement
instructor was the final straw. Sabine was expelled immediately and
barred from returning to any school in the district. Sabine's
mother was compelled to enroll her in an online education
program since no other local institutions would accept a student
dismissed for false claims. Sabine's mother informed John that she

(21:56):
was overwhelmed and didn't know how to deal with Sabine's
conduct anymore. John felt sad for Sabine's mother, but he
kept his boundaries. He assured Sabine's mother that he would
continue to send financial assistance for Sabine's basic necessities, but
he would not get involved in resolving issues caused by
Sabine's own activities. Sabine, according to John, must face the

(22:16):
natural consequences of her actions. Sabine made her first straight
call to John in months. Two weeks after being evicted.
Sabine was in tears and expressed her desire to return
to live with John and Beatrix. She pledged that she
had learned her lesson and would never lie again. She
stated that living with her mother was making her depressed
and that she missed being a member of John's family.

(22:38):
John listened to Sabine's plea, but stood steadfast on his choice.
He informed Sabine that she had violated trust with too
many people and that her history of false allegations made
it impossible for her to return. John emphasized that he
needed to safeguard his marriage, step son, and the rest
of the family from future harm. Sabine grew enraged when
John refused to let her move back. She accused John

(23:01):
of abandoning her and putting strangers before his own kid.
John reminded Sabine that Beatrix and Dorian were not strangers
and that Sabine had imposed these consequences on herself by
her actions. Sabine threatened to inform others that John was
an unfit father who did not care about his daughter's
well being John gently informed Sabine that he had documented
her habit of false charges and that anyone who investigated

(23:22):
would quickly discover the truth about why Sabine was not
living with him. Sabine ended the call by hanging up
on John. She hasn't phoned him since then, but John
continues to provide monthly financial support to Sabine's mother to
cover Sabine's expenditures. Dorian graduated from high school last month
with honors. He got accepted to three institutions and chose

(23:43):
to attend a state university about two hours away from home.
John and Beatrix are pleased of Dorian's accomplishments and grateful
that he was able to concentrate on his academics despite
Sabine's incessant drama. Several family members commented at Dorian's graduation
party on how much happier and more relaxed everyone seemed
without Sabine. Dorian informed John that when Sabine lived there,

(24:03):
he was frightened to invite guests over because he never
knew what type of scene she would create. John and
Beatrix completed their relationship counseling satisfactorily. This event has helped
to strengthen their marriage. John stated that he acquired vital
lessons about the significance of understanding of person's entire past
before bringing them into the family. Beatrix stated that she

(24:23):
learned to follow her intuition when someone's behavior does not
appear appropriate. My parents have insisted that Sabine is not
welcome at family events. My father had no misgivings about
his decision, especially after knowing about Sabine's ongoing practice of
false charges. My mother expressed sympathy for Sabine, but believes
that safeguarding innocent family members is more essential than encouraging

(24:44):
toxic behavior. Leander gained another promotion at work and is
now in management. We have adjusted into our new home
and are expecting our first child this fall. Were delighted
to become parents and relieved that we won't have to
worry about exposing our child to Sabine's harmful conduct. Last month,
I ran into Megan, Sabine's mother, who had contacted me
about her history in Oregon. Megan told me that Sabine's

(25:06):
expulsion from school had made headlines in their tiny village.
Megan reported that most parents were pleased Sabine was no
longer near their children. Megan also noted that her daughter Maris,
who had been friends with Sabine, was doing much better
since they cut ties. Maris had been experiencing worry and
self doubt during her connection with Sabine because Sabine would
manipulate situations and drive Maris to question her own impressions

(25:29):
of events. The entire incident has taught our family the
importance of protecting ourselves from those who lie and manipulate
others for personal benefit. We discovered that giving someone many
chances to improve is ineffective if they are unable to
accept responsibility for their behavior. Some may say we were
too severe in our treatment of Sabine, but I feel
we made the correct decision. Sabine's persistent pattern of false

(25:51):
charges demonstrates that she has not learnt the consequences of
her actions. Maintaining a connection with someone who refuses to
change would have endangered innocent people. Our family is happier,
more serene, and stronger than before. We put our energy
into relationships with people who are honest and trustworthy. We
don't waste time attempting to fix those who do not
want to be fixed. John continues to provide Sabine financial

(26:14):
support on a monthly basis because he feels parents have
a responsibility to help their children meet their fundamental necessities. However,
he has recognized that he cannot have a relationship with
Sabine while she continues to lie and manipulate situations. I
appreciate every one who followed our tale and offered support
during a difficult period, Excepting that you cannot save everyone,

(26:34):
especially those who refuse to be saved, can be the
most difficult aspect of protecting your family. Sabine made her decisions,
and now she is dealing with the consequences. Our family
made our own decisions, and we are enjoying the calm
and happiness that comes from being surrounded by honest, loving individuals.