October 8, 2025 • 20 mins
#redditstories #askreddit #aita #motherinlaw #bodyimage #criticism #childbirth #support
Summary: Dealing with criticism from both her spouse and mother-in-law about her body post-childbirth, a woman finds the strength to shed the negativity.
Tags: redditstories, askreddit, reddit, aita, tifu, motherinlaw, bodyimage, criticism, childbirth, support, family, relationships, selflove, empowerment, mentalhealth, personalgrowth, womenempowerment, motherhood, confidence, bodypositivity
Summary: Dealing with criticism from both her spouse and mother-in-law about her body post-childbirth, a woman finds the strength to shed the negativity.
Tags: redditstories, askreddit, reddit, aita, tifu, motherinlaw, bodyimage, criticism, childbirth, support, family, relationships, selflove, empowerment, mentalhealth, personalgrowth, womenempowerment, motherhood, confidence, bodypositivity
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
My spows and mother in law criticized my body following
my childbirth until I shed pounds through strict dietary measures. Subsequently,
I discovered they were circulating my images in workplace discussion
forums and mocking me behind my back. I twenty seven
f never thought I'd be writing this, but I need
to get it off my chest. My husband, Mitch thirty
(00:22):
one m and I met five years ago at a
friend's wedding. He was charming, successful, and seemed different from
the usual corporate guise I dated. Being a kindergarten teacher.
I was used to men looking down on my career choice,
but Mitch said he loved how caring I was with kids.
We dated for two years before getting married. His mother, Sandra,
(00:43):
was against our relationship from the start. She's from old money,
the kind that is buildings named after their family. She
made it clear that a kindergarten teacher wasn't good enough
for her precious son, who was a senior investment banker.
Mitch always defended me before we got married. He'd shut
down Sandra's comments about my modest background or how I
should consider a real career. We were happy despite her
(01:07):
constant interference things were good for the first three years
of marriage. We talked about having kids and both wanted
to start a family. When I got pregnant with Emma,
Mitch was thrilled. He came to every appointment and even
painted the nursery himself. The pregnancy was rough. I had
severe morning sickness for the first five months and was
(01:29):
put on bed rest for the last two months due
to complications. I gained sixty five pounds, which my doctor
said was higher than ideal, but not unusual given my situation.
Sandra started visiting more when I was on bed rest,
always with comments about how huge I was getting. She'd
bring over her old pregnancy photos to show how she
only gained twenty pounds when pregnant with Mitch. She said
(01:52):
she was back in her regular clothes two weeks after
giving birth. Mitch stopped defending me around months seven of pregnancy.
He'd laugh at Sandra's comments or add his own about
how I was eating for three not two. I was
emotional from hormones and would cry, which made them call
me over sensitive. Emma was borne through emergency sea section
(02:13):
after twenty two hours of labor. The recovery was difficult
and breastfeeding was challenging. I was exhausted all the time
and could barely manage basic tasks. Sandra visited a month
after Emma's birth. She looked at me up and down
and said I looked like a cow. I was wearing
Mitch's old sweatpants because none of my clothes fit, and
(02:33):
hadn't showered in two days because Emma was cluster feeding.
Mitch just laughed and said his mom was looking out
for my health. That's when things really changed. Mitch became
distant and critical. He stopped helping with night feeds, saying
he needed sleep for work. He wouldn't take photos with
me any more, and deleted our old pictures from social media.
(02:56):
When I asked why, he said he didn't want people
to see how I'd let my self go. Sandra started
visiting every weekend, always bringing clothes that were obviously too small.
She'd act shocked when they didn't fit and remind me
that Mitch's cousin's wife lost all her baby weight in
six weeks. She'd bring diet pills and weight loss shakes,
(03:17):
saying I clearly needed help. Mitch started working late and
going to the gym for hours after work. When he
was home, he'd show me Instagram models who had bounced
back after pregnancy, or send me before slash after weight
loss pictures. If I got upset, he'd say he was
just trying to motivate me. I tried explaining how much
(03:37):
their comments hurt, especially while dealing with postpartum depression. Mitch
said I was using depression as an excuse to be lazy.
Sandra suggested I was faking depression for attention because her
generation didn't have postpartum depression. The breaking point came during
Emma's baptism. When she was six months old. I bought
a new navy dress that I felt pretty in. It
(03:59):
was still a size sixteen, but it fit well and
made me feel confident for the first time in months.
During the ceremony, Sandra loudly asked Mitch if he was
embarrassed to be seen with such a fat wife. She
said the dress made me look like a beached whale,
and every one was probably wondering how he could be
attracted to me. Mitch just shrugged and walked away, leaving
(04:20):
me standing there, humiliated in front of our families and friends.
I spent the rest of the ceremony, crying in the
bathroom while my sister watched Emma. When we got home,
Mitch said I'd ruined the baptism by being dramatic. Sandra
said I should be grateful Mitch stayed with me despite
my weight. After that day, I started seriously dieting and
(04:41):
working out whenever possible. I'd skip meals and exercise while
Emma napped. Mitch noticed and suddenly became nicer. He praised
me when I ate only salad or spent hours at
the gym instead of resting. Sandra would comment how I
was finally taking care of myself and showing respect for
my marriage. I lost thirty pounds in four months through
(05:02):
extreme dieting and excessive exercise. Mitch was thrilled, but I
was always exhausted. My milk supply dropped significantly, and my
doctor was concerned about my rapid weight loss affecting my
health and milk production. Mitch dismissed her concerns and said
she was just jealous of my progress. My sister Lisa
noticed how obsessed I had become with losing weight. She
(05:25):
tried talking to me about eating disorders and postpart and depression,
but I defended Mitch and Sandra. I truly thought they
wanted what was best for me. Lisa disagreed and said
they were being cruel and abusive. I kept pushing myself
to lose more weight, even though I was constantly tired
and dizzy. Mitch seemed happy again, and Sandra finally stopped
(05:46):
with the mean comments. I thought things were getting better
until I talked to Mitch's sister Annie last week. Annie
wasn't surprised by anything I told her. She revealed that
Mitch was married before, something he'd never mentioned. His ex
wife left after two years because of Sandra's constant criticism
and Mitch's inability to stand up to his mom. Annie
(06:08):
said they did the same thing to her, attacking her
appearance until she couldn't take it any more. That's when
I realized this wasn't just about my weight. It was
about control. Sandra wanted to break me down, and Mitch
was not only letting her do it, but actively participating.
I felt so stupid for not seeing it sooner. I've
started documenting it everything they say and do. I know
(06:32):
I'll need proof later because they're good at twisting things around.
I've also begun putting away some money just in case
things get worse. That's where things stand now. I'm still
losing weight, but not in a healthy way. Mitch and
Sandra are happy, but I'm miserable. I don't know what
to do anymore. Part of me wants to leave, but
(06:53):
I'm scared of raising Emma alone. I just never thought
my marriage would turn out like this. Update one. A
lot has happened since my last post. I thought things
couldn't get worse, but I was wrong. What I discovered
made everything else seem mild in comparison. It started when
my friend Maria, who works in accounting at Mitch's company,
(07:15):
asked to meet for coffee. She seemed nervous and kept
checking her phone. Finally, she showed me something that made
my stomach drop a group chat between Mitch and his
co workers. Mitch had been sharing unflattering photos of me
with his friends and colleagues for months, not just recent photos,
but pictures going back to when I was still pregnant.
(07:37):
The group chat had over twenty people, including some senior
partners at his firm. The photos were horrible, pictures of
me sleeping with my mouth open, eating while distracted by Emma,
or candid shots where I wasn't aware he was taking them.
He'd deliberately taken them from bad angles to make me
look worse, But the captions were even more cruel. Under
(07:59):
a picture of me napping with Emma, he wrote, wail
watching at home. A photo of me eating lunch had
the caption, this is what I come home to every day.
Pray for me. Brothers. There were worse ones I can't
even bring myself to type out. His colleagues would respond
with laughing emojis or their own nasty comments. Some suggested
he should leave me or get a mistress. A few
(08:21):
even offered to set him up with their single sisters
or cousins. Mitch never defended me. Instead, he'd laugh along
or add more insults. Maria had screenshots of everything because
she'd been quietly documenting it after seeing how they talked
about me. She said it started when I was seven
months pregnant and got worse after Emma was born. Some
(08:42):
of the pictures were from the hospital right after my
sea section, when I was still swollen and recovering. What
broke my heart most were the private moments he photographed
me breastfeeding Emma, when I thought I was alone, playing
with her on the floor, making silly faces to make
her laugh. Intimately mother daughter moments, he turned into cruel
jokes for his friend's entertainment. Reading through the chat history
(09:05):
was surreal. These men, many of whom had smiled at
me during office parties or company events, had been mocking
me behind my back for months. Some of their wives
had even brought meals after Emma was born. When I
confronted Mitch with the screenshots, he tried gaslighting me at first,
said I was misinterpreting things and it was just workplace banter.
(09:28):
When I showed him specific messages, he switched to saying
it was just guys being guys and I was being
too sensitive. He actually tried to blame me, saying if
I had lost the weight sooner, he wouldn't have needed
to vent to his friends, said I embarrassed him at
work by not bouncing back like other corporate wives. Of course,
Sandra found out about the confrontation and came barging into
(09:50):
our house uninvited. She demanded to see the screenshots, then
said I was invading Mitch's privacy by looking at his
private conversations. According to her, as should be grateful Mitch
stayed with me when I let myself go after having Emma.
She brought up his ex wife again, this time saying
at least Rebecca had the decency to leave when she
couldn't maintain her appearance. That's when I snapped and started
(10:13):
packing a bag for Emma and me. While gathering our things,
I found Mitch's old phone in his desk drawer. What
I found on it was even worse. There were hundreds
more pictures of me he'd shared with different people, including Sandra.
They had a separate chat just to mock me and
plan ways to make me feel bad about my body.
(10:34):
I called my sister Lisa to come get us. While waiting,
I forwarded all the evidence to my email. Mitch kept
switching between apologizing and saying I was overreacting. He even
tried to grab my phone, saying I had no right
to keep his private messages. We've been staying with Lisa
for the past week. Mitch keeps calling and texting, his
(10:57):
messages ranging from desperate apologies to angry atk his lis.
He's telling everyone I'm having a mental breakdown and trying
to keep Emma from him. Sander's on a smear campaign,
telling family friends I'm unstable and trying to destroy Mitch's
career by spreading lies about him. She's saying I'm using
Emma to punish Mitch and that a good mother wouldn't
keep a child from their father. I've lost another fifteen
(11:20):
pounds since moving out, but not because I'm trying. I
can barely eat or sleep. The only thing keeping me
going is Emma. She needs me to be strong, even
when I feel anything. But Maria has been amazing through
all this. She's documenting everything at work too, just in case.
Lisa's helping me find a lawyer, because this isn't something
(11:43):
I can sweep under the rug anymore, not after seeing
how deep the betrayal goes. The worst part is realizing
this was all happening while I was killing myself trying
to lose weight for them. Every time they praised my
weight loss, they were laughing behind my back. Every picture
Mitch pretended to avoid taking was actually being shared and mocked.
(12:04):
I don't know what's next, but I know I can't
go back, not after this. Emma deserves better than growing
up watching her mother be humiliated for other people's entertainment.
Update two. After weeks of ignoring Mitch's calls and messages,
I finally agreed to meet him at a coffee shop
to talk. Lisa waited in her car outside because she
(12:25):
didn't trust him. Neither did I, but I needed answers.
Mitch finally admitted why he did. Everything. Turns out, seeing
me let myself go after Emma was born triggered memories
of his ex wife, Rebecca. He said watching me gain
weight during pregnancy and struggle to lose it afterward reminded
him of how she looked after her miscarriage. He actually
(12:47):
tried to justify sharing those photos, said he felt trapped
in another marriage with a wife who didn't care about
her appearance. According to him, the photos and mean comments
were his way of motivating me. He claimed his tough
love work because I lost weight. The most shocking part
he expected me to thank him for helping me get healthy.
(13:09):
When I brought up how his friends suggested he should
leave me, he shrugged it off, said they were just
looking out for him because they saw how miserable he was.
He even suggested I should be grateful he stayed instead
of leaving like other men would have. Sandra called Right
after our meeting, she backed up everything Mitch said, claiming
their actions were for my own good. She had the
(13:32):
audacity to suggest I should apologize for embarrassing Mitch by
exposing their private conversations to his colleagues. Through Annie, I
got in contact with Rebecca. We met at her house
and she told me everything. She and Mitch were married
for two years before she got pregnant. They were excited
about the baby, but she lost it at six months.
(13:54):
Instead of supporting her through the grief, Mitch and Sandra
fixated on the forty pounds she gained. Rebecca showed me
old e mails between Mitch and Sandra where they discussed
ways to make her feel bad about her body. They
used the exact same tactics on her unflattering photos, constant
criticism comparing her to other women. Sandra would send her
(14:15):
clothes that were too small, just like she did with me.
The worst part was learning about the group chats. Mitch
had done the same thing to Rebecca, sharing unflattering photos
with his friends and making fun of her grief weight game.
She found out when one of his co worker's wives
showed her the messages out of pity. When Rebecca confronted them.
(14:36):
Sandra offered her money to quietly divorce Mitch and never
speak about why she left. She refused the money at first,
but agreed to sign an n d A about Mitch's
behavior in exchange for a quick, uncontested divorce. Sandra was
more worried about Mitch's reputation than his wife's mental health.
I asked Mitch why he never told me about Rebecca's miscarriage.
(14:57):
His response made me sick. He said it wasn't important
because she wasn't strong enough to give him children anyway.
Then he added that at least I managed to give
him a healthy baby before letting myself go. That conversation
was the final straw. I realized Mitch hadn't changed at
all since his first marriage. He and Sandra would keep
(15:18):
doing this to any woman who didn't meet their impossible standards.
The most eye opening part was finding out this behavior
ran in Mitch's family. Annie told me their father was
the same way, constantly criticizing Sandra's appearance until she became
obsessed with staying thin. She passed that obsession on to Mitch,
and now they were trying to pass it to me.
(15:39):
I also discovered Mitch had been telling his family I
was refusing to let him see Emma. In reality, he
hadn't asked to see her once since we left. He
was more concerned about damage control at work after some
colleagues stopped talking to him because of the group chat. Sandra,
still trying to control the narrative. She told every one
at their country club that I had postpartum psychosis and
(16:01):
was making up lies about Mitch. She even called my principle,
suggesting I wasn't mentally fit to teach children. Right now,
looking back, I can't believe I spent months killing myself
trying to please these people. I was so focused on
losing weight that I missed precious moments with Emma. No more,
I'm done letting them control my life through shame and manipulation.
(16:25):
I've started meeting with divorce lawyers. Mitch can try to
paint me as crazy all he wants, but I have
everything documented. The photos, the group chats, the text messages, emails,
and now Rebecca's story too. Let them try to explain
that in court Update three, I filed for divorce last week.
(16:46):
Mitch's reaction showed me I made the right decision. He
showed up at Lisa's house drunk at two a m.
Pounding on the door and yelling that he'd change. He
promised to go to therapy and cut contact with his mom.
When I reft used to open the door, he threatened
to fight for full custody of Emma. The next day,
Sandra came with her lawyer. She offered me a deal
(17:09):
five hundred thousand dollars to quietly divorce Mitch and give
up primary custody of Emma. They'd allow me supervised visits
if I signed an NDA about Mitch's behavior and the
group chats. When I refused, Sandra said they'd make sure
every one knew I was an unstable mother who abandoned
her family. I hired the best family lawyer I could find,
(17:29):
Susan Martinez. She was horrified by the evidence I showed
her the group chats, text messages, e mails, and Rebecca's
documentation of similar abuse. The photos Mitch took without my
knowledge could be considered harassment, and his drunk episode at
Lisa's house was recorded on her security camera. Susan said,
we have a strong case for full custody, especially given
(17:52):
Mitch's drinking and documented pattern of emotional abuse. She's also
building a case around Sandra's interference and manipulation. The fact
that they tried to bribe me to give up custody
works in our favor. The divorce will be messy. Mitch
has already hired an aggressive lawyer who's trying to paint
me as an unstable mother with an eating disorder. They're
(18:13):
using my rapid weight loss against me, conveniently ignoring that
it was caused by their abuse. But I have evidence
they can't explain away. Screenshots don't lie. Several of Mitch's
co workers, including Maria, have offered to testify about the
group chats. Rebecca's willing to break her NDA to help,
saying she regrets staying quiet about Mitch's behavior. I've gained
(18:37):
back ten healthy pounds since starting to eat normally again.
Lisa's been amazing, making sure I eat regular meals and
helping with Emma while I meet with lawyers. My doctor
says I'm finally at a healthy weight for breastfeeding, and
Emma's thriving. Mitch and Sandra are telling every one who'll
listen that I'm an unstable mother, keeping Emma from her
loving father. They've even started a smear campaign on social media,
(19:01):
posting old photos of Mitch with Emma to show what
a devoted dad he is. What they don't show is
how Mitch hasn't tried to see Emma once since we left,
except for that drunk episode. He's refused the supervised visits
my lawyer offered. Sandra shows up at my work in
Emma's daycare so often they had to ban her. The
divorce proceedings start next month. Mitch's lawyer already tried to
(19:25):
delay by requesting psychological evaluations, but our evidence was strong
enough that the judge denied it. They know they can't
explain away those group chats or the attempted bribery. I
won't let Emma grow up thinking it's ok for men
to treat women this way. I won't let her learn
that her worth is tied to her weight, or that
family can abuse you for your own good. She deserves
(19:47):
better than what I accepted for so long. My sister
thinks I should write a book about this experience. Maybe
I will. For now, I'm focused on healing in being
the mother Emma needs. I'm done being their punching bag
to every one who supported me, through these posts. Thank you.
Your comments helped me see I wasn't crazy or over sensitive.
(20:10):
You help me find the strength to leave. Sometimes internet
strangers understand better than family. I probably won't update again
until after the divorce is final. Wish us luck
My spows and mother in law criticized my body following
my childbirth until I shed pounds through strict dietary measures. Subsequently,
I discovered they were circulating my images in workplace discussion
forums and mocking me behind my back. I twenty seven
f never thought I'd be writing this, but I need
to get it off my chest. My husband, Mitch thirty
(00:22):
one m and I met five years ago at a
friend's wedding. He was charming, successful, and seemed different from
the usual corporate guise I dated. Being a kindergarten teacher.
I was used to men looking down on my career choice,
but Mitch said he loved how caring I was with kids.
We dated for two years before getting married. His mother, Sandra,
(00:43):
was against our relationship from the start. She's from old money,
the kind that is buildings named after their family. She
made it clear that a kindergarten teacher wasn't good enough
for her precious son, who was a senior investment banker.
Mitch always defended me before we got married. He'd shut
down Sandra's comments about my modest background or how I
should consider a real career. We were happy despite her
(01:07):
constant interference things were good for the first three years
of marriage. We talked about having kids and both wanted
to start a family. When I got pregnant with Emma,
Mitch was thrilled. He came to every appointment and even
painted the nursery himself. The pregnancy was rough. I had
severe morning sickness for the first five months and was
(01:29):
put on bed rest for the last two months due
to complications. I gained sixty five pounds, which my doctor
said was higher than ideal, but not unusual given my situation.
Sandra started visiting more when I was on bed rest,
always with comments about how huge I was getting. She'd
bring over her old pregnancy photos to show how she
only gained twenty pounds when pregnant with Mitch. She said
(01:52):
she was back in her regular clothes two weeks after
giving birth. Mitch stopped defending me around months seven of pregnancy.
He'd laugh at Sandra's comments or add his own about
how I was eating for three not two. I was
emotional from hormones and would cry, which made them call
me over sensitive. Emma was borne through emergency sea section
(02:13):
after twenty two hours of labor. The recovery was difficult
and breastfeeding was challenging. I was exhausted all the time
and could barely manage basic tasks. Sandra visited a month
after Emma's birth. She looked at me up and down
and said I looked like a cow. I was wearing
Mitch's old sweatpants because none of my clothes fit, and
(02:33):
hadn't showered in two days because Emma was cluster feeding.
Mitch just laughed and said his mom was looking out
for my health. That's when things really changed. Mitch became
distant and critical. He stopped helping with night feeds, saying
he needed sleep for work. He wouldn't take photos with
me any more, and deleted our old pictures from social media.
(02:56):
When I asked why, he said he didn't want people
to see how I'd let my self go. Sandra started
visiting every weekend, always bringing clothes that were obviously too small.
She'd act shocked when they didn't fit and remind me
that Mitch's cousin's wife lost all her baby weight in
six weeks. She'd bring diet pills and weight loss shakes,
(03:17):
saying I clearly needed help. Mitch started working late and
going to the gym for hours after work. When he
was home, he'd show me Instagram models who had bounced
back after pregnancy, or send me before slash after weight
loss pictures. If I got upset, he'd say he was
just trying to motivate me. I tried explaining how much
(03:37):
their comments hurt, especially while dealing with postpartum depression. Mitch
said I was using depression as an excuse to be lazy.
Sandra suggested I was faking depression for attention because her
generation didn't have postpartum depression. The breaking point came during
Emma's baptism. When she was six months old. I bought
a new navy dress that I felt pretty in. It
(03:59):
was still a size sixteen, but it fit well and
made me feel confident for the first time in months.
During the ceremony, Sandra loudly asked Mitch if he was
embarrassed to be seen with such a fat wife. She
said the dress made me look like a beached whale,
and every one was probably wondering how he could be
attracted to me. Mitch just shrugged and walked away, leaving
(04:20):
me standing there, humiliated in front of our families and friends.
I spent the rest of the ceremony, crying in the
bathroom while my sister watched Emma. When we got home,
Mitch said I'd ruined the baptism by being dramatic. Sandra
said I should be grateful Mitch stayed with me despite
my weight. After that day, I started seriously dieting and
(04:41):
working out whenever possible. I'd skip meals and exercise while
Emma napped. Mitch noticed and suddenly became nicer. He praised
me when I ate only salad or spent hours at
the gym instead of resting. Sandra would comment how I
was finally taking care of myself and showing respect for
my marriage. I lost thirty pounds in four months through
(05:02):
extreme dieting and excessive exercise. Mitch was thrilled, but I
was always exhausted. My milk supply dropped significantly, and my
doctor was concerned about my rapid weight loss affecting my
health and milk production. Mitch dismissed her concerns and said
she was just jealous of my progress. My sister Lisa
noticed how obsessed I had become with losing weight. She
(05:25):
tried talking to me about eating disorders and postpart and depression,
but I defended Mitch and Sandra. I truly thought they
wanted what was best for me. Lisa disagreed and said
they were being cruel and abusive. I kept pushing myself
to lose more weight, even though I was constantly tired
and dizzy. Mitch seemed happy again, and Sandra finally stopped
(05:46):
with the mean comments. I thought things were getting better
until I talked to Mitch's sister Annie last week. Annie
wasn't surprised by anything I told her. She revealed that
Mitch was married before, something he'd never mentioned. His ex
wife left after two years because of Sandra's constant criticism
and Mitch's inability to stand up to his mom. Annie
(06:08):
said they did the same thing to her, attacking her
appearance until she couldn't take it any more. That's when
I realized this wasn't just about my weight. It was
about control. Sandra wanted to break me down, and Mitch
was not only letting her do it, but actively participating.
I felt so stupid for not seeing it sooner. I've
started documenting it everything they say and do. I know
(06:32):
I'll need proof later because they're good at twisting things around.
I've also begun putting away some money just in case
things get worse. That's where things stand now. I'm still
losing weight, but not in a healthy way. Mitch and
Sandra are happy, but I'm miserable. I don't know what
to do anymore. Part of me wants to leave, but
(06:53):
I'm scared of raising Emma alone. I just never thought
my marriage would turn out like this. Update one. A
lot has happened since my last post. I thought things
couldn't get worse, but I was wrong. What I discovered
made everything else seem mild in comparison. It started when
my friend Maria, who works in accounting at Mitch's company,
(07:15):
asked to meet for coffee. She seemed nervous and kept
checking her phone. Finally, she showed me something that made
my stomach drop a group chat between Mitch and his
co workers. Mitch had been sharing unflattering photos of me
with his friends and colleagues for months, not just recent photos,
but pictures going back to when I was still pregnant.
(07:37):
The group chat had over twenty people, including some senior
partners at his firm. The photos were horrible, pictures of
me sleeping with my mouth open, eating while distracted by Emma,
or candid shots where I wasn't aware he was taking them.
He'd deliberately taken them from bad angles to make me
look worse, But the captions were even more cruel. Under
(07:59):
a picture of me napping with Emma, he wrote, wail
watching at home. A photo of me eating lunch had
the caption, this is what I come home to every day.
Pray for me. Brothers. There were worse ones I can't
even bring myself to type out. His colleagues would respond
with laughing emojis or their own nasty comments. Some suggested
he should leave me or get a mistress. A few
(08:21):
even offered to set him up with their single sisters
or cousins. Mitch never defended me. Instead, he'd laugh along
or add more insults. Maria had screenshots of everything because
she'd been quietly documenting it after seeing how they talked
about me. She said it started when I was seven
months pregnant and got worse after Emma was born. Some
(08:42):
of the pictures were from the hospital right after my
sea section, when I was still swollen and recovering. What
broke my heart most were the private moments he photographed
me breastfeeding Emma, when I thought I was alone, playing
with her on the floor, making silly faces to make
her laugh. Intimately mother daughter moments, he turned into cruel
jokes for his friend's entertainment. Reading through the chat history
(09:05):
was surreal. These men, many of whom had smiled at
me during office parties or company events, had been mocking
me behind my back for months. Some of their wives
had even brought meals after Emma was born. When I
confronted Mitch with the screenshots, he tried gaslighting me at first,
said I was misinterpreting things and it was just workplace banter.
(09:28):
When I showed him specific messages, he switched to saying
it was just guys being guys and I was being
too sensitive. He actually tried to blame me, saying if
I had lost the weight sooner, he wouldn't have needed
to vent to his friends, said I embarrassed him at
work by not bouncing back like other corporate wives. Of course,
Sandra found out about the confrontation and came barging into
(09:50):
our house uninvited. She demanded to see the screenshots, then
said I was invading Mitch's privacy by looking at his
private conversations. According to her, as should be grateful Mitch
stayed with me when I let myself go after having Emma.
She brought up his ex wife again, this time saying
at least Rebecca had the decency to leave when she
couldn't maintain her appearance. That's when I snapped and started
(10:13):
packing a bag for Emma and me. While gathering our things,
I found Mitch's old phone in his desk drawer. What
I found on it was even worse. There were hundreds
more pictures of me he'd shared with different people, including Sandra.
They had a separate chat just to mock me and
plan ways to make me feel bad about my body.
(10:34):
I called my sister Lisa to come get us. While waiting,
I forwarded all the evidence to my email. Mitch kept
switching between apologizing and saying I was overreacting. He even
tried to grab my phone, saying I had no right
to keep his private messages. We've been staying with Lisa
for the past week. Mitch keeps calling and texting, his
(10:57):
messages ranging from desperate apologies to angry atk his lis.
He's telling everyone I'm having a mental breakdown and trying
to keep Emma from him. Sander's on a smear campaign,
telling family friends I'm unstable and trying to destroy Mitch's
career by spreading lies about him. She's saying I'm using
Emma to punish Mitch and that a good mother wouldn't
keep a child from their father. I've lost another fifteen
(11:20):
pounds since moving out, but not because I'm trying. I
can barely eat or sleep. The only thing keeping me
going is Emma. She needs me to be strong, even
when I feel anything. But Maria has been amazing through
all this. She's documenting everything at work too, just in case.
Lisa's helping me find a lawyer, because this isn't something
(11:43):
I can sweep under the rug anymore, not after seeing
how deep the betrayal goes. The worst part is realizing
this was all happening while I was killing myself trying
to lose weight for them. Every time they praised my
weight loss, they were laughing behind my back. Every picture
Mitch pretended to avoid taking was actually being shared and mocked.
(12:04):
I don't know what's next, but I know I can't
go back, not after this. Emma deserves better than growing
up watching her mother be humiliated for other people's entertainment.
Update two. After weeks of ignoring Mitch's calls and messages,
I finally agreed to meet him at a coffee shop
to talk. Lisa waited in her car outside because she
(12:25):
didn't trust him. Neither did I, but I needed answers.
Mitch finally admitted why he did. Everything. Turns out, seeing
me let myself go after Emma was born triggered memories
of his ex wife, Rebecca. He said watching me gain
weight during pregnancy and struggle to lose it afterward reminded
him of how she looked after her miscarriage. He actually
(12:47):
tried to justify sharing those photos, said he felt trapped
in another marriage with a wife who didn't care about
her appearance. According to him, the photos and mean comments
were his way of motivating me. He claimed his tough
love work because I lost weight. The most shocking part
he expected me to thank him for helping me get healthy.
(13:09):
When I brought up how his friends suggested he should
leave me, he shrugged it off, said they were just
looking out for him because they saw how miserable he was.
He even suggested I should be grateful he stayed instead
of leaving like other men would have. Sandra called Right
after our meeting, she backed up everything Mitch said, claiming
their actions were for my own good. She had the
(13:32):
audacity to suggest I should apologize for embarrassing Mitch by
exposing their private conversations to his colleagues. Through Annie, I
got in contact with Rebecca. We met at her house
and she told me everything. She and Mitch were married
for two years before she got pregnant. They were excited
about the baby, but she lost it at six months.
(13:54):
Instead of supporting her through the grief, Mitch and Sandra
fixated on the forty pounds she gained. Rebecca showed me
old e mails between Mitch and Sandra where they discussed
ways to make her feel bad about her body. They
used the exact same tactics on her unflattering photos, constant
criticism comparing her to other women. Sandra would send her
(14:15):
clothes that were too small, just like she did with me.
The worst part was learning about the group chats. Mitch
had done the same thing to Rebecca, sharing unflattering photos
with his friends and making fun of her grief weight game.
She found out when one of his co worker's wives
showed her the messages out of pity. When Rebecca confronted them.
(14:36):
Sandra offered her money to quietly divorce Mitch and never
speak about why she left. She refused the money at first,
but agreed to sign an n d A about Mitch's
behavior in exchange for a quick, uncontested divorce. Sandra was
more worried about Mitch's reputation than his wife's mental health.
I asked Mitch why he never told me about Rebecca's miscarriage.
(14:57):
His response made me sick. He said it wasn't important
because she wasn't strong enough to give him children anyway.
Then he added that at least I managed to give
him a healthy baby before letting myself go. That conversation
was the final straw. I realized Mitch hadn't changed at
all since his first marriage. He and Sandra would keep
(15:18):
doing this to any woman who didn't meet their impossible standards.
The most eye opening part was finding out this behavior
ran in Mitch's family. Annie told me their father was
the same way, constantly criticizing Sandra's appearance until she became
obsessed with staying thin. She passed that obsession on to Mitch,
and now they were trying to pass it to me.
(15:39):
I also discovered Mitch had been telling his family I
was refusing to let him see Emma. In reality, he
hadn't asked to see her once since we left. He
was more concerned about damage control at work after some
colleagues stopped talking to him because of the group chat. Sandra,
still trying to control the narrative. She told every one
at their country club that I had postpartum psychosis and
(16:01):
was making up lies about Mitch. She even called my principle,
suggesting I wasn't mentally fit to teach children. Right now,
looking back, I can't believe I spent months killing myself
trying to please these people. I was so focused on
losing weight that I missed precious moments with Emma. No more,
I'm done letting them control my life through shame and manipulation.
(16:25):
I've started meeting with divorce lawyers. Mitch can try to
paint me as crazy all he wants, but I have
everything documented. The photos, the group chats, the text messages, emails,
and now Rebecca's story too. Let them try to explain
that in court Update three, I filed for divorce last week.
(16:46):
Mitch's reaction showed me I made the right decision. He
showed up at Lisa's house drunk at two a m.
Pounding on the door and yelling that he'd change. He
promised to go to therapy and cut contact with his mom.
When I reft used to open the door, he threatened
to fight for full custody of Emma. The next day,
Sandra came with her lawyer. She offered me a deal
(17:09):
five hundred thousand dollars to quietly divorce Mitch and give
up primary custody of Emma. They'd allow me supervised visits
if I signed an NDA about Mitch's behavior and the
group chats. When I refused, Sandra said they'd make sure
every one knew I was an unstable mother who abandoned
her family. I hired the best family lawyer I could find,
(17:29):
Susan Martinez. She was horrified by the evidence I showed
her the group chats, text messages, e mails, and Rebecca's
documentation of similar abuse. The photos Mitch took without my
knowledge could be considered harassment, and his drunk episode at
Lisa's house was recorded on her security camera. Susan said,
we have a strong case for full custody, especially given
(17:52):
Mitch's drinking and documented pattern of emotional abuse. She's also
building a case around Sandra's interference and manipulation. The fact
that they tried to bribe me to give up custody
works in our favor. The divorce will be messy. Mitch
has already hired an aggressive lawyer who's trying to paint
me as an unstable mother with an eating disorder. They're
(18:13):
using my rapid weight loss against me, conveniently ignoring that
it was caused by their abuse. But I have evidence
they can't explain away. Screenshots don't lie. Several of Mitch's
co workers, including Maria, have offered to testify about the
group chats. Rebecca's willing to break her NDA to help,
saying she regrets staying quiet about Mitch's behavior. I've gained
(18:37):
back ten healthy pounds since starting to eat normally again.
Lisa's been amazing, making sure I eat regular meals and
helping with Emma while I meet with lawyers. My doctor
says I'm finally at a healthy weight for breastfeeding, and
Emma's thriving. Mitch and Sandra are telling every one who'll
listen that I'm an unstable mother, keeping Emma from her
loving father. They've even started a smear campaign on social media,
(19:01):
posting old photos of Mitch with Emma to show what
a devoted dad he is. What they don't show is
how Mitch hasn't tried to see Emma once since we left,
except for that drunk episode. He's refused the supervised visits
my lawyer offered. Sandra shows up at my work in
Emma's daycare so often they had to ban her. The
divorce proceedings start next month. Mitch's lawyer already tried to
(19:25):
delay by requesting psychological evaluations, but our evidence was strong
enough that the judge denied it. They know they can't
explain away those group chats or the attempted bribery. I
won't let Emma grow up thinking it's ok for men
to treat women this way. I won't let her learn
that her worth is tied to her weight, or that
family can abuse you for your own good. She deserves
(19:47):
better than what I accepted for so long. My sister
thinks I should write a book about this experience. Maybe
I will. For now, I'm focused on healing in being
the mother Emma needs. I'm done being their punching bag
to every one who supported me, through these posts. Thank you.
Your comments helped me see I wasn't crazy or over sensitive.
(20:10):
You help me find the strength to leave. Sometimes internet
strangers understand better than family. I probably won't update again
until after the divorce is final. Wish us luck
Popular Podcasts
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
My Favorite Murder is a true crime comedy podcast hosted by Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark. Each week, Karen and Georgia share compelling true crimes and hometown stories from friends and listeners. Since MFM launched in January of 2016, Karen and Georgia have shared their lifelong interest in true crime and have covered stories of infamous serial killers like the Night Stalker, mysterious cold cases, captivating cults, incredible survivor stories and important events from history like the Tulsa race massacre of 1921. My Favorite Murder is part of the Exactly Right podcast network that provides a platform for bold, creative voices to bring to life provocative, entertaining and relatable stories for audiences everywhere. The Exactly Right roster of podcasts covers a variety of topics including historic true crime, comedic interviews and news, science, pop culture and more. Podcasts on the network include Buried Bones with Kate Winkler Dawson and Paul Holes, That's Messed Up: An SVU Podcast, This Podcast Will Kill You, Bananas and more.
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com