The WEALTHY RELATIVE of my spouse DECLARED that I did not meet her

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Summary: A wealthy relative of my spouse declared I didn't meet her standards. How should I handle this family drama and navigate the delicate etiquette of such a situation?  
Tags: redditstories, askreddit, reddit, aita, tifu, wealthyrelative, spouse, familydrama, etiquette, relationships, socialdynamics, inlaws, confrontation, highstandards, boundaries, communication, awkwardencounters, judgmentalrelatives, acceptance, selfworth

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
The wealthy relative of my spouse, declared that I did
not meet her standards for her son and cut off
ties with him. However, she later requested my assistance in
caring for her after her favored daughter drained her finances,
accounts and abandoned her. Last week, I got a call
from Memorial Hospital that changed everything. My Melcory fifty eight

(00:21):
F had been diagnosed with stage four lung cancer, and
to my complete shock, she was asking for me, not
her precious daughter Paula thirty five F, who had been
living with her for the past two years, but me,
the daughter in law she's hated for the past five years.
I twenty eight F, met my husband, Samuel thirty one
M in college six years ago. He comes from old money.

(00:45):
His father was a real estate mogul who died in
a car accident when Samuel was fifteen, leaving everything to Corey.
She never remarried, making it her life's mission to maintain
their family's social status while raising both kids as a
single mother. From day one, Corey made it crystal clear
that I wasn't welcome in their family. I still remember

(01:05):
the first time I went to their house for dinner,
she took one look at my second hand car in
their circular driveway and asked Samuel if I was one
of his charity cases. When he explained I was his
girl friend, she literally choked on her wine. The whole
evening was spent with her making snide comments about my
middle class background and asking if my parents had even
gone to college. Paula, on the other hand, was the

(01:29):
golden child. She got sent to private schools while Samuel
had to fight to stay in public school with his friends.
She got a fully paid Ivy League education, while Samuel
had to work part time jobs through state college. When
Paula graduated, Corey bought her a house in the best
part of town. When Samuel graduated, she told him it

(01:50):
was time to start paying rent if he wanted to
keep living at home. The disparity in how she treated
them was shocking. Paula could do no wrong in Corey's eyes,
even when she dropped out of three different graduate programs
and couldn't hold down a job, Corey kept making excuses
for her. Meanwhile, Samuel became a successful architect, but Corey

(02:11):
would only talk about how he was wasting his potential
by not joining his late father's firm. Things got worse
when Samuel and I got serious. Corey started inviting random
women to family dinners, daughters of her country club friends,
Paula's sorority sisters, even their dental hygienist daughter. Once, she
would make pointed comments about how they came from good

(02:31):
families and understood their social obligations. At our engagement dinner,
she pulled Samuel aside and tried to convince him I
was only after their family money. The irony is that
I'm a software engineer making six figures while Paula hasn't
earned a paycheck in years. The breaking point came two
years ago at Paula's thirty third birthday party. Corey had

(02:53):
organized this elaborate garden party with half the town invited.
Right in the middle of the celebrations, she clinked her
glass for an announcement. Everyone thought she was going to
toast Paula. Instead, she declared that she was officially appointing
Paula to manage all her affairs going forward because she
couldn't trust Samuel's judgment anymore. She said his choice in

(03:14):
marriage showed he didn't care about preserving their family's reputation,
so she was disowning him. Samuel was hurt, but not surprised.
He'd been expecting something like this ever since he refused
to break up with me during our first year of dating.
What did surprise us was what happened next. Paula quit
her latest job, something in marketing that she'd started three

(03:35):
months before, and moved in with Corey. She claimed their
mother needed full time care and supervision, even though Corey
was perfectly healthy and independent at the time. Corey supported
this decision completely. She even increased Paula's monthly allowance to
compensate for her lost income. Meanwhile, she changed her phone

(03:55):
number and email address, making it impossible for Samuel to
contact her directly. We went low contact after that, only
hearing bits and pieces through mutual family friends. So when
I got that call from the hospital last week, I
was floored. Turned out, Paula had given them a wrong
number for Samuel, but they found my contact on an
old emergency form from before the disowning drama. When I

(04:19):
arrived at the hospital, I barely recognized Corey. She looked
small and frail in the hospital bed, nothing like the
intimidating woman who used to look down her nose at
me at family gatherings. She broke down crying when she
saw me. Between sobs, she told me that Paula had
emptied her accounts and disappeared as soon as they got
the cancer diagnosis. Apparently, Paula had been slowly taking control

(04:43):
of all Corey's finances over the past two years, claiming
she needed access to manage household expenses. She'd even convinced
Corey to give her power of attorney six months ago.
I called Samuel immediately. He was shocked about his mother's condition,
but not surprised about Paula's actions. What did surprise both

(05:04):
of us was Corey apologizing to me. She admitted that
she'd been completely wrong about me, and that she let
Paula manipulate her against us for years. She begged us
to help her through this, saying she had no one
else to turn to. Samuel is really torn about this.
On one hand, this is his mother who publicly humiliated him,

(05:24):
chose Paula over him repeatedly, and treated his wife like
garbage for years. On the other hand, she's sick alone
and seems genuinely sorry. I'm conflicted too, after years of
her treating me like some gold digging trash. I'm not
sure how to feel about suddenly becoming her caregiver, but
seeing her so vulnerable in that hospital bed, looking more

(05:47):
scared and alone than I've ever seen her, I couldn't
just walk away for now. We've agreed to help her
with medical appointments and basic care. The doctors say it's
advanced and aggressive. She might only have months left. I
can't help wondering if we're doing the right thing, though.
What if this is just another manipulation? What if Paula

(06:08):
comes back and Corey goes back to treating us like dirt?
Am I setting myself up for more hurt by agreeing
to help her? How do you even begin to trust
someone who spent years trying to destroy your marriage? Update one,
It's been two and tense weeks since my last post.
After much discussion, Samuel and I decided to move Corey
into our guest room. The hospital discharged team made it

(06:31):
clear she couldn't manage alone in her house, and we
didn't want her in some impersonal nursing facility for her
final months. The doctors were brutally honest. Six to eight
months at best, and that's with aggressive treatment. Moving her
in was a nightmare. When we went to pack her things,
we discovered the true extent of Paula's control. The house

(06:52):
was a mess of unpaid bills and collection notices hidden
in drawers. Paula had apparently been intercepting Corey's mail for months,
only paying what she felt like, while pocketing the rest
of Corey's pension and investment income. The first week was
incredibly awkward. Corey, who used to command every room she
walked into, now needed help with basic tasks. She was

(07:14):
clearly uncomfortable being dependent on us, especially me. I catch
her staring at the wall for hours, lost in thought.
She barely ate and only spoke when spoken to. Samuel
was struggling too, torn between his instinct to care for
his mother and years of built up resentment. Things started
to shift One night, while I was helping her with

(07:35):
her evening medication, she asked me to grab a photo
album from her bag, and for the first time, she
really opened up. She showed me pictures of Samuel as
a child, his first day of school, birthday parties, family vacations.
With each photo, she shared stories I'd never heard before.
Then she started crying, telling me how Paula had spent

(07:57):
years poisoning her mind against us. According to Corey, it
started small. Paula would make subtle comments about how I
was changing Samuel, pulling him away from the family. She'd
point out every time we missed a family event or
called late, spinning it as proof that I was isolating him.
When that didn't work fast enough, she started making up stories,

(08:19):
telling Corey that she'd overheard me making fun of their
family traditions, that I was bragging about marrying into money,
that I was turning Samuel against his sister. The deeper
we dug into the past two years, the worse it got.
Paula had systematically cut Corey off from every one in
her life. She changed Corey's phone number without telling her
old friends, claiming it was because of spam calls. She

(08:43):
screened all emails and social media, deleting messages from family
members and telling Corey they'd stopped reaching out. She convinced
Corey that her old friends only wanted to take advantage
of her wealth, all while slowly draining Corey's accounts herself.
But the most shocking revelation came when we found a
stack of documents in Corey's home. Paula had convinced her
to sign over power of attorney six months ago, claiming

(09:06):
it would make it easier to manage household expenses. Instead,
she used it to transfer most of Corey's assets to herself.
The house is still in Corey's name and there's a
small savings account left, but the investment portfolio and retirement
accounts have been cleaned out. We've started working with a lawyer,
but it's complicated. Many of the transfers were technically legal

(09:28):
because of the power of attorney, and Paula covered her
tracks well. The lawyer says we might be able to
recover some assets by proving undue influence, but it could
take years. The most heartbreaking thing was finding Corey's diary
from the past year. She wrote about feeling increasingly trapped
and isolated, but was too proud to reach out to Samuel.

(09:50):
Paula had convinced her that we wanted nothing to do
with her, even showing her fake text messages where Samuel
supposedly said horrible things about her. Corey wrote about regretting
how she treated us, but believed it was too late
to make amends. Samuel is having a hard time processing everything.
He swings between rage at Paula and guilt for not
seeing what was happening sooner. He keeps saying he should

(10:13):
have tried harder to stay in touch, should have seen
through Paula's lies. Corey tries to make amends in her
own way. She insisted on changing her will to leave
everything to Samuel, though there isn't much left to leave. Yesterday,
after two weeks of silence, Paula finally contacted us. She
sent this long, rambling email full of excuses and accusations.

(10:36):
She claimed she had to leave because the emotional stress
of caring for Corey was too much, completely ignoring the
fact that she'd stolen hundreds of thousands of dollars. She
had the nerve to demand her share of the house,
saying she deserved it for putting up with mom's demands
all these years. She even threatened to tell people we'd
manipulated Corey into changing her will if we didn't agree

(10:56):
to sell the house and split the money. Samuel didn't
even bother responding. He just blocked her email and went
to sit with his mom. I found them looking through
old photos together an hour later. It wasn't all better,
but maybe it was a start. Update two. The situation
escalated dramatically Yesterday. Paula showed up at our house unannounced

(11:19):
at seven thirty a m. With her husband Mark in tow.
I was in the kitchen making breakfast for Corey when
I heard banging on our front door. Before I could
even reach it, Paula was screaming so loud the whole
neighborhood could hear her. She was ranting about how I
had turned her mother against her and manipulated the situation
to steal her inheritance. Mark stood behind her, filming everything

(11:42):
on his phone like they were gathering evidence. Paula kept
screaming about how she'd given up her career to care
for Corey, conveniently forgetting she hadn't held a steady job
in years, and how I had swooped in at the
last minute to play hero. I tried to close the door,
but Paula stuck her foot in the way. She stole hearted,
accusing me of elder abuse, saying I was keeping Corey

(12:03):
prisoner and turning her against her own daughter. The commotion
woke both Samuel and Corey. When Samuel came downstairs and
told them to leave, Paula tried to push past him
into the house, still screaming about her inheritance. What they
didn't count on was our neighbor, missus Chin, calling the police,
or the fact that we had installed security cameras after

(12:23):
Paula's threatening email last month. The police arrived within minutes,
and Paula tried to paint herself as the concerned daughter
being kept from her sick mother. That story fell apart
pretty quickly when the officers asked to speak with Corey.
Corey came downstairs, took one look at Paula and told
the police everything, how Paula had stolen her money, isolated

(12:44):
her from everyone, and abandoned her after the cancer diagnosis.
She even showed them the power of attorney documents and
bank statements proving the theft. The officers gave Paula and
Marko warning about trespassing and harassment and told them to
leave or face around. After they left, Corey was shaking.
She asked Samuel to help her record a video testimony

(13:07):
about everything Paula had done. She was worried that Paula
might try to contest any legal documents after she passed,
and wanted to make sure there was undeniable proof of
what had happened. For two hours, she detailed everything, the manipulation,
the isolation, the financial abuse, everything Paula had said about
us over the years. She also formally apologized to Samuel

(13:29):
and me on camera, wanting to make sure there was
a record of her acknowledging her past mistakes and her
wishes for her remaining assets. Two days later, we received
a certified letter from Paula's lawyer. It was a cease
and desist threatening to sue us for elder abuse, financial exploitation,
and alienation of affection. They demanded immediate access to Corey

(13:51):
and an accounting of all financial transactions since she moved
in with us. The lawyer also threw in some vague
threats about criminal charges and alerting adult detective services. We
sent back copies of Corey's video testimony, the hospital records
showing Paula's complete absence since the diagnosis, the financial records
showing Paula's theft, and statements from Corey's doctors about her

(14:13):
mental clarity and decision making capacity. We haven't heard anything
from them since. Meanwhile, Corey's health is declining faster than
we expected. The latest scans show the cancer has spread
to her liver, and the doctors have revised their estimate
down to a month or two at most. She's been
using this time to reconnect with old friends and family

(14:33):
members whom Paula had pushed away over the years. Every
person who visits seems to have a story about how
Paula manipulated situations, spread lies, or cause drama over the years.
It's like watching years of puzzle pieces finally fall into place.
The hardest part is watching Corey realize how much time
she lost to Paula's manipulation. She keeps apologizing to Samuel,

(14:57):
saying she should have seen through Paula's lies years ago.
Samuel tells her it's okay, but I know it hurts
him to see her this way. We're all just trying
to make the most of whatever time we have left.
Update three. Corey passed away last week. In the end,
she went peacefully in her sleep, with Samuel holding one

(15:18):
hand and me holding the other. The last few weeks
were difficult. The cancer spread aggressively, and even with the
best pain medication, she had a lot of bad days,
but there were good moments too, Quiet conversations where she
and Samuel finally talked about everything that had happened over
the years. Three days before she passed, she asked us

(15:38):
to record one final message for Paula. She wasn't angry anymore,
just sad. She said she forgave Paula for the theft
and manipulation, but that forgiveness didn't mean there wouldn't be consequences.
She talked about how she regretted letting Paula's lies poison
her relationship with Samuel, and how grateful she was that
we took her in despite everything she'd done to us

(15:59):
in the past. Paula didn't attend the funeral. Instead, she
sent her lawyer with a notice that she was contesting
the will. The lawyer tried to argue that Corey wasn't
of sound mind when she changed her will and that
I had coerced her into cutting Paula out. Fortunately, we
were prepared. Between Corey's video testimony, the hospital records showing

(16:21):
Paula's complete absence during Corey's illness, and the financial documentation
proving Paula's theft, their case fell apart before it even
reached to hearing. What really sealed it was when Corey's
old friends came forward. Apparently, Paula had pulled similar stunts
with other relatives, isolating them, offering to manage their finances,
then taking advantage. She just never managed to get as

(16:44):
far as she had with Corey. The lawyer dropped the
case after we presented statements from three different family members
detailing Paula's pattern of behavior. We sold the house last week.
After settling Corey's remaining medical bills and legal fees. There
wasn't much left. Paula sent another e mail through a
new account, accusing us of stealing her birthright and destroying

(17:06):
her relationship with her mother. Samuel deleted it without reading
past the first line. The money was never the point.
He just wanted his mother to see through Paula's manipulation
before it was too late. Some of our relatives think
we should try to reconcile with Paula. They keep saying
that family is family and that Corey would want us
to make peace, But they didn't see how Paula's manipulation

(17:30):
nearly destroyed Samuel's relationship with his mother. They weren't there
during those final weeks, watching Corey struggle with the realization
that her daughter had used and abandoned her. The hardest
part for Samuel isn't the loss of his mother. He'd
made peace with that when the diagnosis came. It's the
loss of who he thought his sister was. Every childhood

(17:51):
memory is now tainted by the knowledge of who Paula
really is. He started going through old family photos, and
its heartbreaking watching him question every seemingly happy moment, wondering
if Paula was manipulating things even then. I suggest that
he talked to someone professional about all this, but he
says he's not ready. For now, we're focusing on moving forward.

(18:13):
We've blocked Paula's number, e mail, and social media. We've
made it clear to family members that we don't want
to hear about her or her attempts to contact us.
Sometimes the healthiest thing you can do is except that
not all family relationships can or should be saved. This
whole experience has taught us that forgiveness doesn't always mean reconciliation.

(18:34):
You can forgive someone while still choosing to keep them
out of your life. Corey forgave Paula in the end,
but she also made sure there would be consequences for
her actions. We're trying to follow her example. We've forgiven
Paula for our own peace of mind, but we've also
closed that door permanently.