July 29, 2025 • 32 mins
In today’s episode of Reddit Podcast, a wild Karen completely loses it. You won’t believe how this one ends! Sit back, relax, and enjoy this binge-worthy Reddit podcast, featuring Karen freakouts, entitled people stories, and pro revenge tales.
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📌 **Every episode dives into trending Reddit stories, insane Karen freakouts, and dramatic pro revenge stories! We cover the wildest situations from r/EntitledPeople, r/AITA, and r/EntitledParents. If you love binge-worthy podcast compilations, long-form storytelling, and Reddit drama stories, you’re in the right place!
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🎧 Listen to More Reddit Stories Podcast Episodes Here:
👉 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/5ZVzMm0Pr3bwlM26VuVv8J
👉 Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/mr-redder/id1516821033
📌 **Every episode dives into trending Reddit stories, insane Karen freakouts, and dramatic pro revenge stories! We cover the wildest situations from r/EntitledPeople, r/AITA, and r/EntitledParents. If you love binge-worthy podcast compilations, long-form storytelling, and Reddit drama stories, you’re in the right place!
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Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/reddit-stories-podcast-mr-redder--5571651/support.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey there, mister Redder here, welcome back to another episode
of our slash entitled People's Stories. Our first story we'll
be reading today. Karen demands Christmas dessert samples. After that,
am I the jerk for telling my dad that I'll
gladly spend Christmas with him if he gives me back
my college fund as a Christmas gift? And after that,
Stepdad is demanding I help my stepsister buy a house.
Speaker 2 (00:22):
Now.
Speaker 1 (00:22):
For every thumbs up, this video gits one, Karen does
not get to drink any eggnog. I know I'm probably
the only one, but I never actually liked egnog. So
please smash that like button and subscribe and turn on
notifications for news stories from Reddit. Every single day, Karen
demands Christmas dessert samples context for every holiday. My mother
(00:44):
would ask the women in the family, my sister's sister
in law, my wife, my female cousins to send samples
of the desserts they plan to bring to the celebration
for testing and to see if these desserts could make
it to the food menu. My wife has been complaining
about my mother deliberately rejecting every dessert sample she sent
so many times my mother has told her that she's
(01:05):
being honest and keeping the guest's best interests at heart.
Yet my wife still thought that my mother was deliberately
excluding her, since two of her dessert samples were rejected before.
For this year's Christmas, my mother is doing the same thing,
but this time she told every woman who's participating to
make a cookie sample and send it to her for testing.
(01:25):
My wife took it as a challenge, and to be honest,
she worked really hard to make a good sample and
sent it to my mother days ago, and the results
just came in yesterday.
Speaker 2 (01:35):
I came home from work and found my wife upset.
Speaker 1 (01:37):
I asked her what was wrong, and she told me
that my mother rejected the sample. She said, and decided
to exclude her from baking from the menu list and
the menu for Christmas this year. I didn't know what
to say, but then she told me that she was
backing out of the invitation to attend Christmas.
Speaker 2 (01:52):
With my family.
Speaker 1 (01:53):
I was stunned when I heard her make this statement.
I tried to talk to her, but she said it
was done. I called her on reads to decide to
bail on the whole family over some cookie sample. That's
just crazy and quite unreasonable. We had a full on
argument about it, and she stated that my mother caused this,
but I told her that my mother is pretty serious
and careful about the food she offers to the guests,
(02:15):
since we are going to have relatives coming from all
sides of the country. She told me to stop mentioning it.
Later I heard her cry despite telling her that her
baking is amazing and people have preferences.
Speaker 2 (02:26):
That's all.
Speaker 1 (02:27):
Am I the jerk for insisting that her decision was unreasonable? Infull,
If you're asking whose cookie sample made it to the menu,
the answer is my sister and my two cousins infall.
A few things to put on here. One, my wife
wasn't the only one whose sample was rejected. We have
sister in laws, my brother's wife, and my younger sisters.
(02:48):
My mother did not force anyone to participate. It was
up to whoever wanted to take. Part three. This is
just about the dessert since my mother tends to be
very careful in this category, But for other types of foods, dishes, appetizers, salads,
stuff like that, it's all welcome.
Speaker 2 (03:03):
As she stated, update great.
Speaker 1 (03:06):
So I just got off the phone with my brother,
and he told me that his wife is doing the
same thing as my wife, and that she has decided
to back out of the invitation to spend Christmas with
family as well. Turns out my wife must have told
her about her decision and she decided to follow her lead.
My brother is upset, saying my wife is encouraging his
wife to do this. I see that the problem has
(03:26):
just gotten bigger. Now, who knows my younger sister might
join in and decide not to go as well. I
don't know how this got out of control so quickly.
I guess we'll try to have a discussion with my
mother about this and see how it goes. So correct
me if I'm wrong. But for years and years, your
mother has demanded that all the women, why not the
men too, and your family send in samples. For years
(03:49):
and years, your wife has tried her hardest to appease.
Your mother had pushed herself to the limit, and has
been left completely and utterly demoralized each and every time
by a humiliating tradition forced by the holiday tyrant. And
even worse, her shame was publicly put on display each
and every year, as other family members would no doubt
notice that once again her food was not chosen. Finally,
(04:12):
after producing something she was unbelievably proud of, she was
once again left embarrassed and most likely deeply hurt, as
she was deemed not good enough for yet another year.
This is the straw that broke the camel's back, and
she decides she's had enough of her humiliation and that
she will not give her cruel mother in law the
satisfaction of seeing her discomfort on such a big day.
(04:32):
She makes a boundary that many would have made a
long time prior, and her husband tells her she's unreasonable
for setting up boundaries. Dude, come on, you know you're
the jerk. You're the jerk. I'd never in a million
years bake samples to be approved. I'm showing up with
my food, eat it or not, I really don't care.
Your mom is the jerk and very very weird.
Speaker 2 (04:56):
You're the jerk.
Speaker 1 (04:57):
Your mom is also a jerk who takes samples in
and make use others feel bad because of their cooking.
This tradition sucks, and I get why OPI's wife doesn't
want to go.
Speaker 2 (05:06):
Not the jerk. Did y'all reat it all? Yes?
Speaker 1 (05:09):
She asks all the women, but it's always a yes
or no thing. You either want to or you don't.
Simple This only happens in the dessert category, and you
can bring whatever for any other category.
Speaker 2 (05:20):
She doesn't care.
Speaker 1 (05:21):
This idea is good because it saves the wife from
even greater humiliation when she says it's good but it's
not and she brings it to the function and no
one eats it. If her food isn't good, why should
everyone be forced to eat it. She can literally bring
something else that isn't dessert. The mother is being honest
and not biased because obviously other people were not chosen.
Like I've been to so many functions and there's always
(05:44):
that one plate of utter rubbish, and my mother would
tell us to always try it so the owner of
the plate doesn't feel bad, not the jerk. And your
wife should stop sending samples. Your wife is married to you,
not your mom, and you cannot get mad if she
stops sending samples either, because it's clearly a waste of
time since it's likely going to be like the same
two to four family members. Keep it real, you know this.
(06:07):
I understand the pride because she wants to feel included.
But it's been three times and it's a blow. Mentally,
definitely get your wife an extravagant gift for Christmas and
let it be known it's for all the delicious cookies
she's giving you all year long cookies like love, care, passion,
et cetera. Well, who do you think is the jerk
op and his mom or his wife?
Speaker 2 (06:27):
Please let us know.
Speaker 1 (06:29):
Just let people bring what they want. His mom's really
over complicating this. Am I the jerk for telling my
dad that I'll gladly spend Christmas with him if he
gives me back my college fund as a Christmas gift.
To make this brief, I mail thirty two. Had issues
with my dad after my mom passed and my step
mom came along. I hated a lot of decisions that
were made, but what has left a long lasting impact
(06:52):
was taking my college fund to pay for my stepbrother's surgeries. Unfortunately,
he's passed on. He passed last year at the age
of sixteen from a chronic heart problem. I keep my distance,
but still see my grandparents and uncles and aunts, cousins,
et cetera. With the holiday season coming up, Dad started
talking to me through some relatives close relatives. He went
(07:13):
on about his overwhelming feelings of loneliness, his upcoming divorce
and invited me to spend Christmas with him because he's
alone and heartbroken. As a response, I told him I'll
gladly spend Christmas with him if he gives back my
college fund in a form of a Christmas gift. He
and the others didn't like my response. He thought this
was harsh, and my relatives said that I was a judgmental, petty,
(07:35):
greedy jerk to say this to.
Speaker 2 (07:36):
Him after he's lost so much.
Speaker 1 (07:39):
They said he did all he could to save his
step son, my stepbrother, which they described as noble, and
that he doesn't owe me a thing. I went home
after a big argument with my uncle, who came at
me for what I said. Now I feel like crap.
Maybe I should have just calmly, politely declined the invitation
and not said this to him and made him feel
guilty for how he handled my stepbrother's situation. Edit. I
(08:01):
just took a look and I see that I'm getting
a ton of comments here. To answer a few questions. One,
the fund was made by my dad. Mom was a
stay at home mom and didn't work, but they both
agreed that this fund would go towards my education. Two
I was able to get in college. I started working
to pay my way and had some relatives' help. But
my uncle did so much for me, which is why
(08:22):
I said I felt bad when he berated me. He
holds a special place in my life and he's the
last person I want to disappoint or let down.
Speaker 2 (08:30):
Edit too Okay.
Speaker 1 (08:32):
For those who are saying the fund wasn't mine, whose
fund was it? Then I really don't get this. Maybe
you can expand on how exactly the fund wasn't mine
and to whom it belonged. Also for those that think
I'm being cruel to my dad after he lost so much,
I try not to go out of my way to
be mean or malicious. Matter of fact, I want little
to nothing to do with him. But all this time
(08:53):
I've been playing nice to please my uncle in relatives.
Speaker 2 (08:56):
But that's it.
Speaker 1 (08:58):
Infall, where did the money in the college fund come from?
Was any of it from your late mother? Because if
it was one hundred percent of your dad's money, that's
very different than if he spent money your late mother
set aside for her own kid's education on his new
step kid regardless, I think the problem is that your
dad didn't prioritize you until he was lonely, and now
he wants your company. The college fund is a symptom
(09:20):
of that, and it's not fair for dad to brush
it under the rug. Edit because people are misunderstanding. I'm
not saying a stay at home mom doesn't contribute. Knowing
this information, I believe that half of whatever was saved
during Op's mother's lifetime was her contribution and should not
have been spent by his dad. What I meant to
get at with my question was to see if it
was money that Dad had saved up after mom's passing,
(09:42):
for example. This is such a difficult situation. I do
feel for Op, but I also understand dad's position, and
I'd hope that Op eventually finds it in his heart
to forgive Dad. But honestly, if this is happening in
the USA, then this country's horrendous health care and higher
education systems are one hundred percent and fault. They leave
folks with debt and bankruptcy, and often with impossible choices
(10:06):
to make. I'm so sorry for Op and his dad.
No jerk's here, Yeah, I can't get on board with
Op's line of thinking about the college fund. Was his
father supposed to let his step son pass so Op
can go to college and be debt free. Not even
a close choice for Op's father. In my opinion, I'm
hoping Op is just young and one day he'll see
(10:27):
how difficult the situation was. Not the jerk I don't
understand these you're the jerk comments. There was a college
fund in place and it was used for someone other
than you. Definitely not the jerk. Dad used the college
fund to try to save someone's life. That's not a
jerk move. It's a desperate father move. Like someone else
said in another comment, Dad prioritized issues, not the kids,
(10:50):
and he was the one that set up the fund.
He did not use any inheritance left by Op's mom.
Speaker 2 (10:56):
Sorry, Op, but you're the jerk. I'm going to get
a hey for saying this.
Speaker 1 (11:01):
I'm shocked at how many people will say people don't
have to split or give a college fund to a
step sibling, but will tell you that you're the jerk
for being upset. Your step sibling had two parents. You
had one. That parent took from your figure and prioritized
his wife's kid and hung you out to dry. Would
it have been nice to give them the money to
save your step sibling? Maybe, but that's not the question.
(11:23):
Your parents or dad set aside money for you, and
then your dad and step mom used it on someone else.
Your dad is a complete jerk to prioritize another kid
over his own. Once it set aside for your education,
it's no longer his money to take back, and definitely
wasn't your step mom's to use. Your dad's bad decisions
are coming back to bite him now. He's lonely because
of his decisions, and I don't blame you for telling
(11:45):
your dad exactly what he needs to do now.
Speaker 2 (11:48):
To have you back in his life, not the jerk.
Speaker 1 (11:51):
Well, who do you think is the jerk, Opie or
his dad?
Speaker 2 (11:54):
Please let us know.
Speaker 1 (11:56):
I think what parents should do is not tell the
kids about the college fund until it's time to spend it.
That way, if an emergency comes up and they have
to use part of it, the kid won't get mad
at them. Stepdad is demanding. I helped my stepsister buy
a house. I'm twenty nine female. When I was about ten,
my mom married my stepfather. I have an older brother, Luke,
(12:16):
who was fifteen. My stepfather had Amy and Ada, who
were twelve and eleven. We didn't come from a privileged background.
My mom was a minimum wage worker and my dad
was absent. Our stepfather had a very good income. Their
deal was that they wouldn't combine finances and they would
each contribute equally to the household, and then each takes
care of their kids with their spare money. So my
(12:39):
mom never had anything for us, and my stepfather was
spending big on his kids. This included holidays, which Luke
and I were excluded from. Stepfather would pay for Mom,
but not for us. Luke and I also shared a room,
even though Amy and Ada had their own rooms and
we had a guest room, because stepfather insisted that he
was paying more towards the house, so my mom chare
(13:00):
would only get her one room for the kids. Luke
and I were constantly teased for this situation by the
three of them as we grew up. My mum always
said that we should be thankful because if it wasn't
for our stepfather, we would not be living in a
nice home in a good neighborhood.
Speaker 2 (13:15):
Anyway.
Speaker 1 (13:15):
Luke and I became determined to be able to take
care of ourselves so that we wouldn't need to take
nonsense from anyone. We've both done quite well with our
careers and finances, and we are in very good shape.
Since turning eighteen and moving out, my relationship with the
three of them has been very limited. I wouldn't call
us friends, but we can't exist peacefully if we are
in the same place. I visited my mom recently and
(13:38):
my stepfather mentioned that Amy wants to buy a house
now that she's pregnant. He asked me if I am
able to help out a little with the deposit. The
house is five hundred thousand pounds and she needs at
least one hundred fifty thousand pound deposit. She has one
hundred thousand so far, twenty five thousand on our own,
twenty five thousand from her mum, and fifty thousand from
her stepfather. He was asking and if Luke and I
(14:00):
can help cover the extra fifty thousand, and he said
he'd pay us back as part of the inheritance. Eventually
I said no. He insisted that Luke and I both
own our house's outright and with our incomes, so we
should be able to help I said, whether I can
or not is irrelevant. My answer is no. He reminded
me that Luke and I each gave ten thousand pounds
(14:21):
to our cousin for buying a house as a gift.
Amy is my sister, and he's offering to pay us back.
I said that was our choice, then this is my
choice now. He insisted that we should be willing to
help out our family if we're able to. I replied back,
like how you help me and Luke when we were kids.
Everyone just went quiet when I said this. After a while,
(14:42):
he said, if we went back in time, he'd have
done things differently, treated all four of us equally. I said,
that's good of you, but doesn't make you entitled to
my money now. He said he knows he's not entitled.
That's why he's asking and promising to pay it back.
I said, the answer is still no, not entitled to
alone either. My mom later told me I could have
turned him down without being a jerk or bringing up childhood,
(15:05):
which he already feels guilty about.
Speaker 2 (15:07):
Am I the jerk?
Speaker 1 (15:09):
Absolutely not the jerk? And I think you did turn
him down without bringing up your childhood, but he kept
pressuring you so it's totally understandable that you told the truth.
Op exactly. I only brought up our childhood after he
tried to guilt me about how we are family and
should help each other. Initially it was just a simple rejection.
(15:29):
I don't think he feels guilty. He only regrets treating
you guys badly now that you and Luke have turned
out successful.
Speaker 2 (15:36):
He's guilty.
Speaker 1 (15:37):
He got called out on being a penny pincher about
what kids deserve, not that he actually did it to them.
He's upset that he's facing consequences for his behavior, not
that he is ashamed he did it, not the jerk
he needed to hear it. If he brings it up again,
tell him he's welcome to use all the money he
saved excluding you and your brother from the family on
(15:57):
his daughter's house. He's an entitled jerk, and and honestly,
your mom is a jerk too for allowing her own
kids to be subjected to that unfairness. For what it's worth,
my dad remarried when I was eleven, and my stepsister
is a year older. My dad and stepmom, even though
my dad made much more money, ensured that the two
of us girls got everything the other did, almost to
(16:17):
the point of comedy. If my stepsister wanted a shirt,
my step mom would grab one for me in a
different color to make sure things were fair. That was
probably over the top, but I admire them for making
our home feel like we both belonged there equally. When
companies start tracking your productivity, beat the system. My company
decided to implement third party software to track employee productivity
(16:39):
and they started this BS way before lockdown and remote work.
All technology teams were being monitored, and I worked on
a product team under technology. The main metric they used
was how much new code was being written, which is
silly because even programmers don't write new code very often.
Updated code didn't count, and those were most of the
tickets I managed. And meanwhile, I was always fixing other
(17:01):
people's code, and I was the go to person for
any escalations and releases. When this first started, I saw
a dozen emails about writing more code, and I thought
it was a joke until I got an unscheduled meeting
with the department head. He scolded me for having written
zero code that month, and despite pushing that my role
doesn't exactly require me to write new code. He said, sorry,
(17:23):
this is the new world. Exact words.
Speaker 2 (17:26):
Fine.
Speaker 1 (17:27):
I found some old code libraries that no one used
anymore but were still active. Every month I would copy
the libraries, delete them, and then replace them. I tested
it out, and that counted as new code. Before all this,
I was a top performer up for promotion, but my
reviews from before didn't count anymore, and all that mattered
were these metrics. I tried to keep my shenanigans under
(17:47):
the radar, but one month I did the delete and
replace move twice because I forgot if I did my
monthly coding quota and did it again just in case. Well,
that quarter, I won an award for most Prolific Engineer,
and it came with two thousand dollars. That got the
attention of my manager, who was luckily a cool guy,
and openly complained about how stupid the productivity tracking software was.
(18:10):
He knew I wasn't writing code, and neither was he,
so I finally told him my secret. He actually thought
it was hilarious, and he himself had been just deleting
and replacing lines of code to bypass the quota, but
he didn't think about doing entire libraries I knew I
wouldn't get in trouble with him, and he even nominated
me for a recognition award, which came with another one
thousand dollars in gift cards. I did eventually get promoted
(18:34):
over six months later than initially discussed, but things got
even worse with the company monitoring productivity during the lockdown.
It was so bad to the point where they were
logging how many times you were away from your computer
for more than five minutes. People actually got fired for
taking too many breaks between nine am to five pm.
Let's just say I was taking my laptop everywhere out
(18:55):
of paranoia. It didn't increase productivity, but it for sure
hurt my morale. Thankfully, I got the heck out of there.
The rest of my team was not so lucky, but
I still get texts from my old manager and team
about how they are using my shenanigans. Ultimately, I got
a nice three thousand dollars in awards, fifteen thousand dollars
from the promotion, and a lifetime of drinks from my
(19:15):
team for beating the system. Am I the jerk for
letting my father go hungry for more than a day.
Growing up, I was forced to do all the chores
while my two brothers weren't.
Speaker 2 (19:26):
I didn't come to no contact with.
Speaker 1 (19:28):
My parents because it's necessary not to cut contact with them.
I'm the only one who lives in the same city.
The others lived too far away. On Saturday last week,
my parents called me saying that there was a problem
with the electrical part in their house, and they begged
me to let them stay at my house for four days,
as they would be spending a lot of money to
fix it and they couldn't afford to stay at the hotel.
(19:49):
I agreed, but said that I had my routine and
would not be helping my father.
Speaker 2 (19:53):
They agreed.
Speaker 1 (19:54):
On the first day, it was pretty okay, and my
mom did everything for my dad. The next my mom
had to make an emergency trip to her sister. Her
sister paid for her to go, and she lives in
another city. In the morning, I went to work and
had lunch at the company. When I got home, my
father said, Wow, I thought you would never come home.
Can you make something for me? I just ate what
(20:16):
your mother made for lunch in the morning. Keep in
mind that my fridge was full and my father knows
how to cook. In addition to knowing how to use
the cell phone and internet. He just didn't want to
do it because my mother does everything me. Look, Dad,
i'm really tired. Besides, I'm leaving here in an hour.
It was six pm. He started to complain, saying that
he would get hungry, that I should make him food
(20:38):
for lunch and dinner. Blah blah blah. I just replied,
you have hands, you have a telephone. There's a pizzeria
contact on the fridge if you don't want to make food,
but I won't make it. The night was good, and
I only returned at one am. My father was already
sleeping and Mom didn't come back. I woke up late,
so I just ran to work without even saying hello
(20:58):
to him. So I didn't pay attention to him anything.
As the day before.
Speaker 2 (21:02):
I ate at work.
Speaker 1 (21:03):
When it was about four pm, my mother called me screaming,
saying that my father was dizzy with hunger because I
refused to make him anything. And I knew he doesn't
do those things, so it wouldn't cost me anything to
make him even a basic snack, but I preferred to
let him starve. I pointed out what I said before
they came and she started saying that this was negligence
with an elderly person who is capable of doing everything.
(21:26):
They left before I got home and stayed at a
random person's house. My brothers are complaining, accusing me of
being petty and vindictive, just like my parents. I don't
think I'm wrong, but I would like outside perspective.
Speaker 2 (21:38):
Am I the jerk?
Speaker 1 (21:39):
My father is sixty three and my mother is sixty
Not the jerk. Your father is a grown man. He
could make something himself, but he chose to get into
a power struggle with you and your own home while
they're staying with you. Good for you for standing up
for yourself. Yeah, and if your brothers won't back off,
I would tell them they're either perfectly capable of moving
(21:59):
back home home, moving in with your parents, or moving
your parents out to them to take care of them properly,
or they're capable of shutting up and letting you deal
with your dad's petty tantrums as you see it. I
think your dad may be famous. I think I saw
his picture under the definition of weaponized incompetence, not the jerk.
Sorry about your family dynamics. You were clear when they
(22:21):
asked to stay with you. If they chose to ignore it,
that's on them, not the jerk starving with a fridge
full of food. Really wow, you could have at least
made him snacks.
Speaker 2 (22:32):
Are you kidding me? What is he? A five year old?
Speaker 1 (22:35):
Sounds like your father is being a petulant child and
trying to make some absolutely ridiculous point about superiority by
refusing to help himself. Good for you for standing up
to them and calling out their bs.
Speaker 2 (22:46):
Just wow?
Speaker 1 (22:48):
Am I the jerk for telling a social group member
that the free social activities were not free for me?
I'm the organizer of a social meetup group. We have
lots of activities to do on a regular basis that
we all enjoy. Usually it's going out to eat, but
also fun things like movies, bowling, farmers market, potlucks at
various members' houses if they're able to host grilling at
(23:09):
the park. I have one member who asked me if
I could please schedule activities for the group that are
free because she's poor and can't afford activities that cost money. Fine,
we can come up with some free or at least
very low cost activities to do, But I also have
to consider the rest of the group and what they want.
I don't mind the first several times she reminded me
to remember to schedule free activities for those of us
(23:32):
on a budget. But then I started to get mad,
especially after I organized three activities that were free, the
visit to the farmer's market, the visit to the nature center,
and a bike ride around the college campus specifically so
that she could participate, and she didn't even show up.
She said that the farmer's market was not free. It
sure can be if you don't buy anything. I didn't
(23:53):
buy anything. I walked around and looked at stuff. And
the bike ride was because we also planned to go
out for pizza afters She could have come bike riding
with us and then skipped out on the pizza if
she didn't want to spend money. Nobody else would have
shown up if we were just going to ride bikes
and not going somewhere to refresh afterwards. Did she expect
us to sit around in the heat and look at
each other. She wanted me to schedule potlucks, which are
(24:16):
fine if people are willing to host, but potlucks are
not free. She was getting on my nerves with her
constant reminders to remember to reschedule free things because she's
poor and can't participate unless it's free. So one day,
while she was telling me for the fifty millionth time,
I told her that this activity we were doing cost
me about one hundred dollars. It was a picnic in
(24:36):
the park we were having. I brought the ice chest
and portable grill so we could have this fun activity,
which was fun, but it was not free. So apparently
her feelings were hurt because I told her what this
activity caused me to set up, and I didn't mind
buying the portable grill and ice chest.
Speaker 2 (24:52):
I chose to do that.
Speaker 1 (24:53):
She thought it was inappropriate for me to tell her
what I spent for supplies so that she could enjoy
her free but not for me activity. So am I
the jerk first for scheduling activities that could have been
free for her but she didn't show up because it
wasn't completely free, and for telling her what this so
called free activity had actually cost me to set up.
Speaker 2 (25:14):
Not the jerk?
Speaker 1 (25:15):
Make her an organizer and let her run the free activities,
seeing as she doesn't seem to think yours are free
enough for her. Op I always reiterated that any member
can set up and organize an event if they want to,
like hiking. For example, some people wanted to go hiking,
but I'm not a hiker and I had no clue
where the good hikes were. But people who are into
(25:35):
hiking were free to suggest a place and then set
up a day and time. No one ever did. If
you want a hike organized, I'm not your person for that.
I would just stick to that as your mantra from
now on. We always like to have a variety of events.
I'm happy that you want to set up some free ones.
I can't wait to see what you plan and be
super friendly and cheerful about it. Not the jerk, Not
(25:57):
the jerk. Let me translate her request for you. I
want to hand out someone to pay for me to
have an enjoyable outing. Just block her out of the
group and move on. People like that are toxic. Everyone
sucks here. She's wrong for not showing up for the
things that are in her budget. You're wrong for reminding
her that she's a charity case, that others are sacrificing
(26:17):
money for nobody who's poor. Once had bitterly thrown in
their face that people resent doing things decent for them. Also,
the have nots waving by to the halves halfway through
an outing when they depart for more costly pleasures is
pretty awkward and depressing. I'd have probably skipped that bike
ride too. You're the jerk. You didn't schedule a single
(26:37):
thing that's free. You always had a caveat to buying something.
She's not asking for charity, She's asking for actual free
activities all the not the jerks sound unempathetic, Op, then
feel free to start your own social group where you
schedule nothing but absolutely free activities that cost no one anything, which,
like I keep saying, would amount to sitting in a
(26:58):
public park with no food or drink except water and
looking at each other.
Speaker 2 (27:03):
Well, who do you think is the jerk? OPI or
the other group member? Please let us know.
Speaker 1 (27:09):
Sometimes I think socializing is a lot more trouble than
it's worth.
Speaker 2 (27:12):
You know what I mean? Read it?
Speaker 1 (27:13):
Boy? Why don't you ask someone who works here the
time I was a jerk? This is an old story
from about twenty or so years ago. I stopped at
Costco on the way home from work. I just came
in looking for some electronics or whatnot, and so wasn't
pushing a cart. And while in the electronics section, this
older woman sees me looking over some item and I
(27:33):
can see she's interested in an item shelld near the
one I'm looking at. I don't even remember what the
items were anyway. She turns and asks me some very
specific questions about the item she's looking at. I looked
up at her and simply answered, sorry, I have no idea.
A few minutes later, at the other end of the
same aisle, this same lady comes up to me with
some other item in her hands and asks me, do
(27:56):
you know blah blah blah about this Again, it was
an item that I had no idea about, and at
this point I'm mildly annoyed and just answered nope and
turned to go browse the next dial over. It's worthwhile,
I think at this point in the story to explain
that I was working in northern New Jersey, basically a
suburb of New York City, and a fairly stressful job,
(28:18):
and one of the reasons I had even stopped at
Costco was that my twelve mile ride home was mired
in terrible traffic. Rather than spend the next thirty minutes
trying to go the last six miles home. I pulled
into the Costco I was about to crawl past, figuring
i'd do a little shopping and let some of the
traffic clear out while I did so. So I started
this whole experience wound a little tightly. On top of that,
(28:40):
this was when I was in my early thirties or
late twenties.
Speaker 2 (28:43):
I was a pretty big jerk back then.
Speaker 1 (28:45):
I have mellowed since, and partly due to this experience. Anyway,
moving on, five minutes later, I'm nerding out over whatever
thing I was looking at in the next dial, and
the woman comes around the corner from the other aisle
where I had left her, specifically walking past other customers
to come to ask me a third question about something
that I had no idea about. By now, I'm pretty annoyed.
(29:08):
It's clear to me that she's not flirting with me
or anything like that, and I cannot understand why she
keeps coming to bug me about these things when all
I want to do is just waste a few minutes
out of traffic. In all honesty, if I'd had any
answers for her, I would likely have given them to her,
But I didn't have those answers and replied to her question.
I gave her a crappy look, and in a very
(29:29):
condescending voice, I said, I have no idea, but maybe
you ought to ask someone who works here, and made
an overly dramatic gesture with my hands pointing towards one
of the employees rounding the corner at the edge of
the electronics section, about twenty feet away. The woman looked
at me somewhat offended and didn't say another word. I
didn't give a darn. Why couldn't this lady leave me
(29:51):
to my nerding out. I left the electronics section and
wandered off, and, after another twenty or so minutes of
walking around and just avoiding traffic, picked up some grocery
item or other and walked to the cashier line to
pay for it. As my turn came up to pay,
I pulled out my wallet looking for my membership card
and could not find it. I knew I had to
show it to get into the store and quickly checked
(30:13):
all my pant pockets.
Speaker 2 (30:14):
No card.
Speaker 1 (30:15):
The cashier smiles at me and points to my chest.
I looked where she was pointing, and in a split second,
I realized, maybe not for the first time ever, that
I was a giant jerk. So my employer had access
control on all buildings, and you scanned your employee ID
at the door of any of these buildings to enter.
Employees were also obliged to display their IDs at all
(30:37):
times while on work property. Many people wore the badge
attached to one of those retractable cards that you clipped
to your belt. Some wore their badge on a loop
of ribbon around their neck, and others, like myself, wore
their badge in a transparent pouch that was designed to
clip onto a shirt or jacket pocket. My employer also
required business attire, so on my way home from work,
(30:58):
I was dressed in leather sold pleated dress pants, a
white button down shirt, and a tie. Left the jacket
in the car for the trip to Costco. Apparently I
also left my work ID badge holder still clipped to
my shirt pocket. At that point in time, it would
not have been unusual for me to go in and
out of buildings at work a dozen or more times
on any given day. After a year or so, it
(31:21):
had become a well practiced and unthinking motion for me
to grab my work id from the badge holder that
held it on my shirt pocket, flash it to the
door sensor, and just slip it back into the pocket
on the holder as I entered a building. Apparently, when
I pulled my cost Co id out of my wallet
to get into the store, I unthinkingly placed it in
the badge holder, since I'd forgotten to take that off
(31:42):
and leave it in my car with my jacket instead
of back into my wallet. I had been walking around
the store looking like a manager with a badge displaying
the Costco logo prominently in bright.
Speaker 2 (31:52):
Red letters write on my chest.
Speaker 1 (31:55):
As all of this realization came to me in the
second or two after the cashier pointed out my cost
Co ID card I was wearing, my face went a
little pale, and she asked me if I was okay.
I mumbled something about feeling dumb and this being a
habit from work. As I paid for my stuff, I
hurried out of the store, hoping I didn't see the
woman who had been asking me questions. It began to
(32:16):
dawn on me that if I weren't such a jerk coward,
I'd go and find that woman explain to her what happened.
And apologize for being so rude. Instead, I just left
the store in shame, feeling about two inches tall. Support
our channel by joining as a member to day and
we'll give you a shout out in our next video.
Or come watch this video next. You won't believe what
(32:37):
Karen does in that one.
Hey there, mister Redder here, welcome back to another episode
of our slash entitled People's Stories. Our first story we'll
be reading today. Karen demands Christmas dessert samples. After that,
am I the jerk for telling my dad that I'll
gladly spend Christmas with him if he gives me back
my college fund as a Christmas gift? And after that,
Stepdad is demanding I help my stepsister buy a house.
Speaker 2 (00:22):
Now.
Speaker 1 (00:22):
For every thumbs up, this video gits one, Karen does
not get to drink any eggnog. I know I'm probably
the only one, but I never actually liked egnog. So
please smash that like button and subscribe and turn on
notifications for news stories from Reddit. Every single day, Karen
demands Christmas dessert samples context for every holiday. My mother
(00:44):
would ask the women in the family, my sister's sister
in law, my wife, my female cousins to send samples
of the desserts they plan to bring to the celebration
for testing and to see if these desserts could make
it to the food menu. My wife has been complaining
about my mother deliberately rejecting every dessert sample she sent
so many times my mother has told her that she's
(01:05):
being honest and keeping the guest's best interests at heart.
Yet my wife still thought that my mother was deliberately
excluding her, since two of her dessert samples were rejected before.
For this year's Christmas, my mother is doing the same thing,
but this time she told every woman who's participating to
make a cookie sample and send it to her for testing.
(01:25):
My wife took it as a challenge, and to be honest,
she worked really hard to make a good sample and
sent it to my mother days ago, and the results
just came in yesterday.
Speaker 2 (01:35):
I came home from work and found my wife upset.
Speaker 1 (01:37):
I asked her what was wrong, and she told me
that my mother rejected the sample. She said, and decided
to exclude her from baking from the menu list and
the menu for Christmas this year. I didn't know what
to say, but then she told me that she was
backing out of the invitation to attend Christmas.
Speaker 2 (01:52):
With my family.
Speaker 1 (01:53):
I was stunned when I heard her make this statement.
I tried to talk to her, but she said it
was done. I called her on reads to decide to
bail on the whole family over some cookie sample. That's
just crazy and quite unreasonable. We had a full on
argument about it, and she stated that my mother caused this,
but I told her that my mother is pretty serious
and careful about the food she offers to the guests,
(02:15):
since we are going to have relatives coming from all
sides of the country. She told me to stop mentioning it.
Later I heard her cry despite telling her that her
baking is amazing and people have preferences.
Speaker 2 (02:26):
That's all.
Speaker 1 (02:27):
Am I the jerk for insisting that her decision was unreasonable? Infull,
If you're asking whose cookie sample made it to the menu,
the answer is my sister and my two cousins infall.
A few things to put on here. One, my wife
wasn't the only one whose sample was rejected. We have
sister in laws, my brother's wife, and my younger sisters.
(02:48):
My mother did not force anyone to participate. It was
up to whoever wanted to take. Part three. This is
just about the dessert since my mother tends to be
very careful in this category, But for other types of foods, dishes, appetizers, salads,
stuff like that, it's all welcome.
Speaker 2 (03:03):
As she stated, update great.
Speaker 1 (03:06):
So I just got off the phone with my brother,
and he told me that his wife is doing the
same thing as my wife, and that she has decided
to back out of the invitation to spend Christmas with
family as well. Turns out my wife must have told
her about her decision and she decided to follow her lead.
My brother is upset, saying my wife is encouraging his
wife to do this. I see that the problem has
(03:26):
just gotten bigger. Now, who knows my younger sister might
join in and decide not to go as well. I
don't know how this got out of control so quickly.
I guess we'll try to have a discussion with my
mother about this and see how it goes. So correct
me if I'm wrong. But for years and years, your
mother has demanded that all the women, why not the
men too, and your family send in samples. For years
(03:49):
and years, your wife has tried her hardest to appease.
Your mother had pushed herself to the limit, and has
been left completely and utterly demoralized each and every time
by a humiliating tradition forced by the holiday tyrant. And
even worse, her shame was publicly put on display each
and every year, as other family members would no doubt
notice that once again her food was not chosen. Finally,
(04:12):
after producing something she was unbelievably proud of, she was
once again left embarrassed and most likely deeply hurt, as
she was deemed not good enough for yet another year.
This is the straw that broke the camel's back, and
she decides she's had enough of her humiliation and that
she will not give her cruel mother in law the
satisfaction of seeing her discomfort on such a big day.
(04:32):
She makes a boundary that many would have made a
long time prior, and her husband tells her she's unreasonable
for setting up boundaries. Dude, come on, you know you're
the jerk. You're the jerk. I'd never in a million
years bake samples to be approved. I'm showing up with
my food, eat it or not, I really don't care.
Your mom is the jerk and very very weird.
Speaker 2 (04:56):
You're the jerk.
Speaker 1 (04:57):
Your mom is also a jerk who takes samples in
and make use others feel bad because of their cooking.
This tradition sucks, and I get why OPI's wife doesn't
want to go.
Speaker 2 (05:06):
Not the jerk. Did y'all reat it all? Yes?
Speaker 1 (05:09):
She asks all the women, but it's always a yes
or no thing. You either want to or you don't.
Simple This only happens in the dessert category, and you
can bring whatever for any other category.
Speaker 2 (05:20):
She doesn't care.
Speaker 1 (05:21):
This idea is good because it saves the wife from
even greater humiliation when she says it's good but it's
not and she brings it to the function and no
one eats it. If her food isn't good, why should
everyone be forced to eat it. She can literally bring
something else that isn't dessert. The mother is being honest
and not biased because obviously other people were not chosen.
Like I've been to so many functions and there's always
(05:44):
that one plate of utter rubbish, and my mother would
tell us to always try it so the owner of
the plate doesn't feel bad, not the jerk. And your
wife should stop sending samples. Your wife is married to you,
not your mom, and you cannot get mad if she
stops sending samples either, because it's clearly a waste of
time since it's likely going to be like the same
two to four family members. Keep it real, you know this.
(06:07):
I understand the pride because she wants to feel included.
But it's been three times and it's a blow. Mentally,
definitely get your wife an extravagant gift for Christmas and
let it be known it's for all the delicious cookies
she's giving you all year long cookies like love, care, passion,
et cetera. Well, who do you think is the jerk
op and his mom or his wife?
Speaker 2 (06:27):
Please let us know.
Speaker 1 (06:29):
Just let people bring what they want. His mom's really
over complicating this. Am I the jerk for telling my
dad that I'll gladly spend Christmas with him if he
gives me back my college fund as a Christmas gift.
To make this brief, I mail thirty two. Had issues
with my dad after my mom passed and my step
mom came along. I hated a lot of decisions that
were made, but what has left a long lasting impact
(06:52):
was taking my college fund to pay for my stepbrother's surgeries. Unfortunately,
he's passed on. He passed last year at the age
of sixteen from a chronic heart problem. I keep my distance,
but still see my grandparents and uncles and aunts, cousins,
et cetera. With the holiday season coming up, Dad started
talking to me through some relatives close relatives. He went
(07:13):
on about his overwhelming feelings of loneliness, his upcoming divorce
and invited me to spend Christmas with him because he's
alone and heartbroken. As a response, I told him I'll
gladly spend Christmas with him if he gives back my
college fund in a form of a Christmas gift. He
and the others didn't like my response. He thought this
was harsh, and my relatives said that I was a judgmental, petty,
(07:35):
greedy jerk to say this to.
Speaker 2 (07:36):
Him after he's lost so much.
Speaker 1 (07:39):
They said he did all he could to save his
step son, my stepbrother, which they described as noble, and
that he doesn't owe me a thing. I went home
after a big argument with my uncle, who came at
me for what I said. Now I feel like crap.
Maybe I should have just calmly, politely declined the invitation
and not said this to him and made him feel
guilty for how he handled my stepbrother's situation. Edit. I
(08:01):
just took a look and I see that I'm getting
a ton of comments here. To answer a few questions. One,
the fund was made by my dad. Mom was a
stay at home mom and didn't work, but they both
agreed that this fund would go towards my education. Two
I was able to get in college. I started working
to pay my way and had some relatives' help. But
my uncle did so much for me, which is why
(08:22):
I said I felt bad when he berated me. He
holds a special place in my life and he's the
last person I want to disappoint or let down.
Speaker 2 (08:30):
Edit too Okay.
Speaker 1 (08:32):
For those who are saying the fund wasn't mine, whose
fund was it? Then I really don't get this. Maybe
you can expand on how exactly the fund wasn't mine
and to whom it belonged. Also for those that think
I'm being cruel to my dad after he lost so much,
I try not to go out of my way to
be mean or malicious. Matter of fact, I want little
to nothing to do with him. But all this time
(08:53):
I've been playing nice to please my uncle in relatives.
Speaker 2 (08:56):
But that's it.
Speaker 1 (08:58):
Infall, where did the money in the college fund come from?
Was any of it from your late mother? Because if
it was one hundred percent of your dad's money, that's
very different than if he spent money your late mother
set aside for her own kid's education on his new
step kid regardless, I think the problem is that your
dad didn't prioritize you until he was lonely, and now
he wants your company. The college fund is a symptom
(09:20):
of that, and it's not fair for dad to brush
it under the rug. Edit because people are misunderstanding. I'm
not saying a stay at home mom doesn't contribute. Knowing
this information, I believe that half of whatever was saved
during Op's mother's lifetime was her contribution and should not
have been spent by his dad. What I meant to
get at with my question was to see if it
was money that Dad had saved up after mom's passing,
(09:42):
for example. This is such a difficult situation. I do
feel for Op, but I also understand dad's position, and
I'd hope that Op eventually finds it in his heart
to forgive Dad. But honestly, if this is happening in
the USA, then this country's horrendous health care and higher
education systems are one hundred percent and fault. They leave
folks with debt and bankruptcy, and often with impossible choices
(10:06):
to make. I'm so sorry for Op and his dad.
No jerk's here, Yeah, I can't get on board with
Op's line of thinking about the college fund. Was his
father supposed to let his step son pass so Op
can go to college and be debt free. Not even
a close choice for Op's father. In my opinion, I'm
hoping Op is just young and one day he'll see
(10:27):
how difficult the situation was. Not the jerk I don't
understand these you're the jerk comments. There was a college
fund in place and it was used for someone other
than you. Definitely not the jerk. Dad used the college
fund to try to save someone's life. That's not a
jerk move. It's a desperate father move. Like someone else
said in another comment, Dad prioritized issues, not the kids,
(10:50):
and he was the one that set up the fund.
He did not use any inheritance left by Op's mom.
Speaker 2 (10:56):
Sorry, Op, but you're the jerk. I'm going to get
a hey for saying this.
Speaker 1 (11:01):
I'm shocked at how many people will say people don't
have to split or give a college fund to a
step sibling, but will tell you that you're the jerk
for being upset. Your step sibling had two parents. You
had one. That parent took from your figure and prioritized
his wife's kid and hung you out to dry. Would
it have been nice to give them the money to
save your step sibling? Maybe, but that's not the question.
(11:23):
Your parents or dad set aside money for you, and
then your dad and step mom used it on someone else.
Your dad is a complete jerk to prioritize another kid
over his own. Once it set aside for your education,
it's no longer his money to take back, and definitely
wasn't your step mom's to use. Your dad's bad decisions
are coming back to bite him now. He's lonely because
of his decisions, and I don't blame you for telling
(11:45):
your dad exactly what he needs to do now.
Speaker 2 (11:48):
To have you back in his life, not the jerk.
Speaker 1 (11:51):
Well, who do you think is the jerk, Opie or
his dad?
Speaker 2 (11:54):
Please let us know.
Speaker 1 (11:56):
I think what parents should do is not tell the
kids about the college fund until it's time to spend it.
That way, if an emergency comes up and they have
to use part of it, the kid won't get mad
at them. Stepdad is demanding. I helped my stepsister buy
a house. I'm twenty nine female. When I was about ten,
my mom married my stepfather. I have an older brother, Luke,
(12:16):
who was fifteen. My stepfather had Amy and Ada, who
were twelve and eleven. We didn't come from a privileged background.
My mom was a minimum wage worker and my dad
was absent. Our stepfather had a very good income. Their
deal was that they wouldn't combine finances and they would
each contribute equally to the household, and then each takes
care of their kids with their spare money. So my
(12:39):
mom never had anything for us, and my stepfather was
spending big on his kids. This included holidays, which Luke
and I were excluded from. Stepfather would pay for Mom,
but not for us. Luke and I also shared a room,
even though Amy and Ada had their own rooms and
we had a guest room, because stepfather insisted that he
was paying more towards the house, so my mom chare
(13:00):
would only get her one room for the kids. Luke
and I were constantly teased for this situation by the
three of them as we grew up. My mum always
said that we should be thankful because if it wasn't
for our stepfather, we would not be living in a
nice home in a good neighborhood.
Speaker 2 (13:15):
Anyway.
Speaker 1 (13:15):
Luke and I became determined to be able to take
care of ourselves so that we wouldn't need to take
nonsense from anyone. We've both done quite well with our
careers and finances, and we are in very good shape.
Since turning eighteen and moving out, my relationship with the
three of them has been very limited. I wouldn't call
us friends, but we can't exist peacefully if we are
in the same place. I visited my mom recently and
(13:38):
my stepfather mentioned that Amy wants to buy a house
now that she's pregnant. He asked me if I am
able to help out a little with the deposit. The
house is five hundred thousand pounds and she needs at
least one hundred fifty thousand pound deposit. She has one
hundred thousand so far, twenty five thousand on our own,
twenty five thousand from her mum, and fifty thousand from
her stepfather. He was asking and if Luke and I
(14:00):
can help cover the extra fifty thousand, and he said
he'd pay us back as part of the inheritance. Eventually
I said no. He insisted that Luke and I both
own our house's outright and with our incomes, so we
should be able to help I said, whether I can
or not is irrelevant. My answer is no. He reminded
me that Luke and I each gave ten thousand pounds
(14:21):
to our cousin for buying a house as a gift.
Amy is my sister, and he's offering to pay us back.
I said that was our choice, then this is my
choice now. He insisted that we should be willing to
help out our family if we're able to. I replied back,
like how you help me and Luke when we were kids.
Everyone just went quiet when I said this. After a while,
(14:42):
he said, if we went back in time, he'd have
done things differently, treated all four of us equally. I said,
that's good of you, but doesn't make you entitled to
my money now. He said he knows he's not entitled.
That's why he's asking and promising to pay it back.
I said, the answer is still no, not entitled to
alone either. My mom later told me I could have
turned him down without being a jerk or bringing up childhood,
(15:05):
which he already feels guilty about.
Speaker 2 (15:07):
Am I the jerk?
Speaker 1 (15:09):
Absolutely not the jerk? And I think you did turn
him down without bringing up your childhood, but he kept
pressuring you so it's totally understandable that you told the truth.
Op exactly. I only brought up our childhood after he
tried to guilt me about how we are family and
should help each other. Initially it was just a simple rejection.
(15:29):
I don't think he feels guilty. He only regrets treating
you guys badly now that you and Luke have turned
out successful.
Speaker 2 (15:36):
He's guilty.
Speaker 1 (15:37):
He got called out on being a penny pincher about
what kids deserve, not that he actually did it to them.
He's upset that he's facing consequences for his behavior, not
that he is ashamed he did it, not the jerk
he needed to hear it. If he brings it up again,
tell him he's welcome to use all the money he
saved excluding you and your brother from the family on
(15:57):
his daughter's house. He's an entitled jerk, and and honestly,
your mom is a jerk too for allowing her own
kids to be subjected to that unfairness. For what it's worth,
my dad remarried when I was eleven, and my stepsister
is a year older. My dad and stepmom, even though
my dad made much more money, ensured that the two
of us girls got everything the other did, almost to
(16:17):
the point of comedy. If my stepsister wanted a shirt,
my step mom would grab one for me in a
different color to make sure things were fair. That was
probably over the top, but I admire them for making
our home feel like we both belonged there equally. When
companies start tracking your productivity, beat the system. My company
decided to implement third party software to track employee productivity
(16:39):
and they started this BS way before lockdown and remote work.
All technology teams were being monitored, and I worked on
a product team under technology. The main metric they used
was how much new code was being written, which is
silly because even programmers don't write new code very often.
Updated code didn't count, and those were most of the
tickets I managed. And meanwhile, I was always fixing other
(17:01):
people's code, and I was the go to person for
any escalations and releases. When this first started, I saw
a dozen emails about writing more code, and I thought
it was a joke until I got an unscheduled meeting
with the department head. He scolded me for having written
zero code that month, and despite pushing that my role
doesn't exactly require me to write new code. He said, sorry,
(17:23):
this is the new world. Exact words.
Speaker 2 (17:26):
Fine.
Speaker 1 (17:27):
I found some old code libraries that no one used
anymore but were still active. Every month I would copy
the libraries, delete them, and then replace them. I tested
it out, and that counted as new code. Before all this,
I was a top performer up for promotion, but my
reviews from before didn't count anymore, and all that mattered
were these metrics. I tried to keep my shenanigans under
(17:47):
the radar, but one month I did the delete and
replace move twice because I forgot if I did my
monthly coding quota and did it again just in case. Well,
that quarter, I won an award for most Prolific Engineer,
and it came with two thousand dollars. That got the
attention of my manager, who was luckily a cool guy,
and openly complained about how stupid the productivity tracking software was.
(18:10):
He knew I wasn't writing code, and neither was he,
so I finally told him my secret. He actually thought
it was hilarious, and he himself had been just deleting
and replacing lines of code to bypass the quota, but
he didn't think about doing entire libraries I knew I
wouldn't get in trouble with him, and he even nominated
me for a recognition award, which came with another one
thousand dollars in gift cards. I did eventually get promoted
(18:34):
over six months later than initially discussed, but things got
even worse with the company monitoring productivity during the lockdown.
It was so bad to the point where they were
logging how many times you were away from your computer
for more than five minutes. People actually got fired for
taking too many breaks between nine am to five pm.
Let's just say I was taking my laptop everywhere out
(18:55):
of paranoia. It didn't increase productivity, but it for sure
hurt my morale. Thankfully, I got the heck out of there.
The rest of my team was not so lucky, but
I still get texts from my old manager and team
about how they are using my shenanigans. Ultimately, I got
a nice three thousand dollars in awards, fifteen thousand dollars
from the promotion, and a lifetime of drinks from my
(19:15):
team for beating the system. Am I the jerk for
letting my father go hungry for more than a day.
Growing up, I was forced to do all the chores
while my two brothers weren't.
Speaker 2 (19:26):
I didn't come to no contact with.
Speaker 1 (19:28):
My parents because it's necessary not to cut contact with them.
I'm the only one who lives in the same city.
The others lived too far away. On Saturday last week,
my parents called me saying that there was a problem
with the electrical part in their house, and they begged
me to let them stay at my house for four days,
as they would be spending a lot of money to
fix it and they couldn't afford to stay at the hotel.
(19:49):
I agreed, but said that I had my routine and
would not be helping my father.
Speaker 2 (19:53):
They agreed.
Speaker 1 (19:54):
On the first day, it was pretty okay, and my
mom did everything for my dad. The next my mom
had to make an emergency trip to her sister. Her
sister paid for her to go, and she lives in
another city. In the morning, I went to work and
had lunch at the company. When I got home, my
father said, Wow, I thought you would never come home.
Can you make something for me? I just ate what
(20:16):
your mother made for lunch in the morning. Keep in
mind that my fridge was full and my father knows
how to cook. In addition to knowing how to use
the cell phone and internet. He just didn't want to
do it because my mother does everything me. Look, Dad,
i'm really tired. Besides, I'm leaving here in an hour.
It was six pm. He started to complain, saying that
he would get hungry, that I should make him food
(20:38):
for lunch and dinner. Blah blah blah. I just replied,
you have hands, you have a telephone. There's a pizzeria
contact on the fridge if you don't want to make food,
but I won't make it. The night was good, and
I only returned at one am. My father was already
sleeping and Mom didn't come back. I woke up late,
so I just ran to work without even saying hello
(20:58):
to him. So I didn't pay attention to him anything.
As the day before.
Speaker 2 (21:02):
I ate at work.
Speaker 1 (21:03):
When it was about four pm, my mother called me screaming,
saying that my father was dizzy with hunger because I
refused to make him anything. And I knew he doesn't
do those things, so it wouldn't cost me anything to
make him even a basic snack, but I preferred to
let him starve. I pointed out what I said before
they came and she started saying that this was negligence
with an elderly person who is capable of doing everything.
(21:26):
They left before I got home and stayed at a
random person's house. My brothers are complaining, accusing me of
being petty and vindictive, just like my parents. I don't
think I'm wrong, but I would like outside perspective.
Speaker 2 (21:38):
Am I the jerk?
Speaker 1 (21:39):
My father is sixty three and my mother is sixty
Not the jerk. Your father is a grown man. He
could make something himself, but he chose to get into
a power struggle with you and your own home while
they're staying with you. Good for you for standing up
for yourself. Yeah, and if your brothers won't back off,
I would tell them they're either perfectly capable of moving
(21:59):
back home home, moving in with your parents, or moving
your parents out to them to take care of them properly,
or they're capable of shutting up and letting you deal
with your dad's petty tantrums as you see it. I
think your dad may be famous. I think I saw
his picture under the definition of weaponized incompetence, not the jerk.
Sorry about your family dynamics. You were clear when they
(22:21):
asked to stay with you. If they chose to ignore it,
that's on them, not the jerk starving with a fridge
full of food. Really wow, you could have at least
made him snacks.
Speaker 2 (22:32):
Are you kidding me? What is he? A five year old?
Speaker 1 (22:35):
Sounds like your father is being a petulant child and
trying to make some absolutely ridiculous point about superiority by
refusing to help himself. Good for you for standing up
to them and calling out their bs.
Speaker 2 (22:46):
Just wow?
Speaker 1 (22:48):
Am I the jerk for telling a social group member
that the free social activities were not free for me?
I'm the organizer of a social meetup group. We have
lots of activities to do on a regular basis that
we all enjoy. Usually it's going out to eat, but
also fun things like movies, bowling, farmers market, potlucks at
various members' houses if they're able to host grilling at
(23:09):
the park. I have one member who asked me if
I could please schedule activities for the group that are
free because she's poor and can't afford activities that cost money. Fine,
we can come up with some free or at least
very low cost activities to do, But I also have
to consider the rest of the group and what they want.
I don't mind the first several times she reminded me
to remember to schedule free activities for those of us
(23:32):
on a budget. But then I started to get mad,
especially after I organized three activities that were free, the
visit to the farmer's market, the visit to the nature center,
and a bike ride around the college campus specifically so
that she could participate, and she didn't even show up.
She said that the farmer's market was not free. It
sure can be if you don't buy anything. I didn't
(23:53):
buy anything. I walked around and looked at stuff. And
the bike ride was because we also planned to go
out for pizza afters She could have come bike riding
with us and then skipped out on the pizza if
she didn't want to spend money. Nobody else would have
shown up if we were just going to ride bikes
and not going somewhere to refresh afterwards. Did she expect
us to sit around in the heat and look at
each other. She wanted me to schedule potlucks, which are
(24:16):
fine if people are willing to host, but potlucks are
not free. She was getting on my nerves with her
constant reminders to remember to reschedule free things because she's
poor and can't participate unless it's free. So one day,
while she was telling me for the fifty millionth time,
I told her that this activity we were doing cost
me about one hundred dollars. It was a picnic in
(24:36):
the park we were having. I brought the ice chest
and portable grill so we could have this fun activity,
which was fun, but it was not free. So apparently
her feelings were hurt because I told her what this
activity caused me to set up, and I didn't mind
buying the portable grill and ice chest.
Speaker 2 (24:52):
I chose to do that.
Speaker 1 (24:53):
She thought it was inappropriate for me to tell her
what I spent for supplies so that she could enjoy
her free but not for me activity. So am I
the jerk first for scheduling activities that could have been
free for her but she didn't show up because it
wasn't completely free, and for telling her what this so
called free activity had actually cost me to set up.
Speaker 2 (25:14):
Not the jerk?
Speaker 1 (25:15):
Make her an organizer and let her run the free activities,
seeing as she doesn't seem to think yours are free
enough for her. Op I always reiterated that any member
can set up and organize an event if they want to,
like hiking. For example, some people wanted to go hiking,
but I'm not a hiker and I had no clue
where the good hikes were. But people who are into
(25:35):
hiking were free to suggest a place and then set
up a day and time. No one ever did. If
you want a hike organized, I'm not your person for that.
I would just stick to that as your mantra from
now on. We always like to have a variety of events.
I'm happy that you want to set up some free ones.
I can't wait to see what you plan and be
super friendly and cheerful about it. Not the jerk, Not
(25:57):
the jerk. Let me translate her request for you. I
want to hand out someone to pay for me to
have an enjoyable outing. Just block her out of the
group and move on. People like that are toxic. Everyone
sucks here. She's wrong for not showing up for the
things that are in her budget. You're wrong for reminding
her that she's a charity case, that others are sacrificing
(26:17):
money for nobody who's poor. Once had bitterly thrown in
their face that people resent doing things decent for them. Also,
the have nots waving by to the halves halfway through
an outing when they depart for more costly pleasures is
pretty awkward and depressing. I'd have probably skipped that bike
ride too. You're the jerk. You didn't schedule a single
(26:37):
thing that's free. You always had a caveat to buying something.
She's not asking for charity, She's asking for actual free
activities all the not the jerks sound unempathetic, Op, then
feel free to start your own social group where you
schedule nothing but absolutely free activities that cost no one anything, which,
like I keep saying, would amount to sitting in a
(26:58):
public park with no food or drink except water and
looking at each other.
Speaker 2 (27:03):
Well, who do you think is the jerk? OPI or
the other group member? Please let us know.
Speaker 1 (27:09):
Sometimes I think socializing is a lot more trouble than
it's worth.
Speaker 2 (27:12):
You know what I mean? Read it?
Speaker 1 (27:13):
Boy? Why don't you ask someone who works here the
time I was a jerk? This is an old story
from about twenty or so years ago. I stopped at
Costco on the way home from work. I just came
in looking for some electronics or whatnot, and so wasn't
pushing a cart. And while in the electronics section, this
older woman sees me looking over some item and I
(27:33):
can see she's interested in an item shelld near the
one I'm looking at. I don't even remember what the
items were anyway. She turns and asks me some very
specific questions about the item she's looking at. I looked
up at her and simply answered, sorry, I have no idea.
A few minutes later, at the other end of the
same aisle, this same lady comes up to me with
some other item in her hands and asks me, do
(27:56):
you know blah blah blah about this Again, it was
an item that I had no idea about, and at
this point I'm mildly annoyed and just answered nope and
turned to go browse the next dial over. It's worthwhile,
I think at this point in the story to explain
that I was working in northern New Jersey, basically a
suburb of New York City, and a fairly stressful job,
(28:18):
and one of the reasons I had even stopped at
Costco was that my twelve mile ride home was mired
in terrible traffic. Rather than spend the next thirty minutes
trying to go the last six miles home. I pulled
into the Costco I was about to crawl past, figuring
i'd do a little shopping and let some of the
traffic clear out while I did so. So I started
this whole experience wound a little tightly. On top of that,
(28:40):
this was when I was in my early thirties or
late twenties.
Speaker 2 (28:43):
I was a pretty big jerk back then.
Speaker 1 (28:45):
I have mellowed since, and partly due to this experience. Anyway,
moving on, five minutes later, I'm nerding out over whatever
thing I was looking at in the next dial, and
the woman comes around the corner from the other aisle
where I had left her, specifically walking past other customers
to come to ask me a third question about something
that I had no idea about. By now, I'm pretty annoyed.
(29:08):
It's clear to me that she's not flirting with me
or anything like that, and I cannot understand why she
keeps coming to bug me about these things when all
I want to do is just waste a few minutes
out of traffic. In all honesty, if I'd had any
answers for her, I would likely have given them to her,
But I didn't have those answers and replied to her question.
I gave her a crappy look, and in a very
(29:29):
condescending voice, I said, I have no idea, but maybe
you ought to ask someone who works here, and made
an overly dramatic gesture with my hands pointing towards one
of the employees rounding the corner at the edge of
the electronics section, about twenty feet away. The woman looked
at me somewhat offended and didn't say another word. I
didn't give a darn. Why couldn't this lady leave me
(29:51):
to my nerding out. I left the electronics section and
wandered off, and, after another twenty or so minutes of
walking around and just avoiding traffic, picked up some grocery
item or other and walked to the cashier line to
pay for it. As my turn came up to pay,
I pulled out my wallet looking for my membership card
and could not find it. I knew I had to
show it to get into the store and quickly checked
(30:13):
all my pant pockets.
Speaker 2 (30:14):
No card.
Speaker 1 (30:15):
The cashier smiles at me and points to my chest.
I looked where she was pointing, and in a split second,
I realized, maybe not for the first time ever, that
I was a giant jerk. So my employer had access
control on all buildings, and you scanned your employee ID
at the door of any of these buildings to enter.
Employees were also obliged to display their IDs at all
(30:37):
times while on work property. Many people wore the badge
attached to one of those retractable cards that you clipped
to your belt. Some wore their badge on a loop
of ribbon around their neck, and others, like myself, wore
their badge in a transparent pouch that was designed to
clip onto a shirt or jacket pocket. My employer also
required business attire, so on my way home from work,
(30:58):
I was dressed in leather sold pleated dress pants, a
white button down shirt, and a tie. Left the jacket
in the car for the trip to Costco. Apparently I
also left my work ID badge holder still clipped to
my shirt pocket. At that point in time, it would
not have been unusual for me to go in and
out of buildings at work a dozen or more times
on any given day. After a year or so, it
(31:21):
had become a well practiced and unthinking motion for me
to grab my work id from the badge holder that
held it on my shirt pocket, flash it to the
door sensor, and just slip it back into the pocket
on the holder as I entered a building. Apparently, when
I pulled my cost Co id out of my wallet
to get into the store, I unthinkingly placed it in
the badge holder, since I'd forgotten to take that off
(31:42):
and leave it in my car with my jacket instead
of back into my wallet. I had been walking around
the store looking like a manager with a badge displaying
the Costco logo prominently in bright.
Speaker 2 (31:52):
Red letters write on my chest.
Speaker 1 (31:55):
As all of this realization came to me in the
second or two after the cashier pointed out my cost
Co ID card I was wearing, my face went a
little pale, and she asked me if I was okay.
I mumbled something about feeling dumb and this being a
habit from work. As I paid for my stuff, I
hurried out of the store, hoping I didn't see the
woman who had been asking me questions. It began to
(32:16):
dawn on me that if I weren't such a jerk coward,
I'd go and find that woman explain to her what happened.
And apologize for being so rude. Instead, I just left
the store in shame, feeling about two inches tall. Support
our channel by joining as a member to day and
we'll give you a shout out in our next video.
Or come watch this video next. You won't believe what
(32:37):
Karen does in that one.
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