Girlfriend Shocks Boyfriend by Changing His Last Name To Hers!

In today’s episode of Reddit Stories Podcast, a wild Karen completely loses it. You won’t believe how this one ends! Sit back, relax, and enjoy this binge-worthy Reddit Stories Podcast, featuring Karen freakouts, entitled people stories, and pro revenge tales.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey there, mister Redder here, welcome back to another episode
of Reddit podcast Stories. Our first story will be reading today.
My girlfriend changed my last name to hers. Huge mistake.
After that, my wife's parents insisted I sleep on the
couch instead of in her room. And after that, you
don't want to follow the engineer sealed drawing. Okay, then, now,

(00:21):
for every thumbs up this video kits one. Karen does
not get to change someone else's last name. I wish
I could change mine. Karen Redder just sounds so weird.
So please smash that like button and subscribe and turn
on notifications for new stories from Reddit every single day.
My girlfriend changed my last name to hers. Huge mistake.

(00:42):
Girlfriend and I are heading to a wedding next month.
It's a couple she knows that's getting married. I've met
them once or twice. I don't know anyone else at
this wedding. The other day, her friend called to check
if he should also change my name on the guest plan,
at which point she admitted to me that as a joke,
she had RSV my last name as her last name,

(01:02):
meaning it would be visible this way to other guests
on the name tags on the table and perhaps on
other things. I was immediately upset with her and said
that I didn't think it was funny and she shouldn't
have done it. She was indignant and upset, thought it
was a funny joke, that I was overreacting, et cetera.
Am I the jerk here? See? I'm aware that it
could be funny if you know your partner likes those jokes.

(01:25):
We joke with each other about taking each other's names
when we're married, her joking that I should take hers,
et cetera. But for me, this feels like a big overstep.
For one thing, it's childish. I would be embarrassed for
her friends and other guests to presume that we're married
only to find out that it's a dumb joke, and
also for her friends to think we're not taking their
wedding seriously. But also it feels like a power move.

(01:47):
She knows that me taking her name would represent a
victory for her, and so the joke feels less playful
and more of a competitive jab. At my expense, I
have to put up with others believing I'm someone who
took my wife's name and abandoned my own. No offense
to anyone who chooses this, But my name is a
part of my identity, and I dislike what being thought
to have changed. It puts a gross about me. She

(02:09):
grudgingly accepts my point of view, but in general feels
more upset at having been told off and that her naughty,
playful side is what people like about her, and that
I'm at fault for trying to repress it and being uptight.
I just feel it's crossing a boundary. Update lots of
thoughts here, feeling blessed for all the balanced and constructive
feedback I'm getting. Just to clarify as I think my

(02:30):
word choice has rubbed some people the wrong way. I
have absolutely no problem with my girlfriend keeping her name
if we get married. Personally, giving up my own name
goes against my values. Not because I'm a jerk, but
simply because I'm a person who values their identity. My
girlfriend knows this and still chose to make our joke
public with her friends, whom I don't even know. Okay,

(02:50):
have at it. You're the jerk. I have to put
up with others believing I'm someone who took my wife's
name and abandoned my own um like women have been
expected to do since forever you're the jerk. Literally, no
one will care or ask about your last names. Also,
you should let her know you expect her to take
your last name, but you wouldn't do the same for

(03:12):
her you're the jerk. Normally, I'd say that if someone
tells you something they did was a joke in order
to blow you off, you should tell them that it
wasn't funny and it's not a free pass for their behavior. However,
you've admitted this name thing is a running joke between
the two of you. She took it a bit further
than you'd expect it, but your response is disproportionate at
best and wildly childish at worst. She took an inside

(03:34):
joke the two of you had and goofed with it,
and you feel like it's crossing some major boundary. I
think your comment about if you were to take her name,
it would be a victory for her is pretty telling here.
She's been thinking this stuff about your names was a
lighthearted joke and maybe a way to have this conversation
with you. You seem to have been acting like it
was a joke, covering a thread. The wedding is for people.

(03:55):
She knows that you're not close with, so your comment
about being concerned the couple getting married will think you're
not taking their wedding seriously rings pretty hollow and feels
like a reaching attempt to justify your discomfort and anger.
You need to take a good long look at why
this is upsetting you so much, and I think you
need to take a moment and consider your expectations for
any future spouse you have. Would you be all right

(04:17):
if they decided not to abandon their name and identity
for yours or do you just expect that they would.
This whole thing smacks of you being controlling. You're the jerk.
Women have dealt with changing their names since time began,
but you are offended because it's part of your identity. Yeah,
it's always been part of a woman's identity too, but
they've always had to change it and you're upset by

(04:38):
a joke or your girlfriend changed yours. Sorry, but this
is grossly jerk of you, as well as petty and
downright disrespectful to your girlfriend. On a human being level.
You need to grow up and start seeing women as humans. Dude,
Just what the heck? Your girlfriend is one hundred percent
right that you are oppressing her fun, playful side because
your ego was hurt by a thing that all women

(04:58):
have dealt with since the beginning of last names. Not
the jerk. I know I'll get down voted to heck
for this, But let's reverse the roles and imagine they're
going to a wedding where he knows everyone and she doesn't.
Oh P then pulls the same stunt on his girlfriend
by signing her up with his last name. You all know,
darn good and well that if she were the one

(05:19):
posting a Reddit story about how much it upset her,
all of you would be in an uproar siding with
her and telling her to leave him. I'd be reconsidering
this relationship if I were you. This is a major
red flag and you deserve so much better. The hypocrisy
on this site never ceases to amaze me, But said
hypocrisy is honestly a reflection of our society and a

(05:39):
great example of why men's mental health is at unprecedented
levels of broken. As men, we are no longer respected
or appreciated, and people show us zero compassion or understanding
unless you're some celebrity or high level executive, in which
case people worship the ground you walk on the rest
of us. Nobody cares about us, and it hurts. You
can only laugh at someone's so much until they snap,

(06:01):
but at that point it's too late. Well, who do
you think is the jerk, o pie or his girlfriend?
Please let us know. My wife's parents insisted I sleep
on the couch instead of her room. My wife and
I got married last summer. Her family lives across the
country from us, so up until this point, I had
never actually visited them, but I had met them a
handful of times, and we've always gotten along fine. They

(06:24):
invited us to come visit and stay with them for
a few days, and we took them up on the offer.
We flew in yesterday and everything went well. Her dad
and I watched football while she caught up with her
mom and sisters, and then we had a really nice dinner.
But things went south at the end of the night
when it was made clear that they didn't want me
sharing a bed with my wife while in their home,
and that they expected me to sleep on the couch.

(06:47):
I honestly thought they were joking at first, but they
insisted we sleep separately. I had a problem with the
implication that I shouldn't be allowed to sleep next to
my wife, and I also have a bad back, and
the couch did not look the least bit comfortable. They
don't have a guest room. After arguing back and forth
a bit, I decided to leave and book a hotel.
I told my wife she didn't have to come with me.

(07:08):
She chose to stay, and I said that i'd come
back the next day. I went off to a Marriott
about ten miles away and got a good night's sleep,
try not to let the whole situation bother me. This morning,
I called my wife asking when I should come by.
She told me her parents want me to apologize for
leaving the way I did. I told her that I'm
willing to apologize to keep the peace, but they need

(07:29):
to acknowledge that it wasn't appropriate to insist I can't
share a bed with my own wife. She said she
had talked to them and call me back. About ten
minutes later, I hear back from her and she tells
me that not only will they not apologize for it,
they're now insisting I need to come back and stay
on the couch for the rest of our visit, and
if I don't agree to this, I'm not welcome back
in their house. I'm pretty livid at this point. I

(07:52):
told her that there's absolutely no chance that I'll do that,
and I'm no longer willing to offer any sort of apology.
My wife's sisters are now bothering me, saying this is
just the way that their parents are, that my wife
is very upset, and that I need to just give
in and stay on the couch for the rest of
the trip before this turns into some sort of a
family feud. From my perspective, i don't care what they think,

(08:13):
and I'm willing to treat the rest of this trip
as a solo vacation. Go sight scene and meet my
wife back at the airport at the end of the week.
Am I the jerk? Not the jerk? Your in laws
are abhorrent hosts. It's their house, their rules, and their
rules are stupid. Rather than fighting a pointless battle, you
set a clear and valid boundary and they chose to

(08:35):
take offense to it. They want you to stay on
their couch because it's a power play. You staying in
a hotel takes that power away, and they can't handle it.
The fact that your wife doesn't have your back on
this one is a giant red flag. Good luck, not
the jerk. You have a wife problem just as much
as you have an in law problem. She should be
defending you, not deferring to them. Do not back down

(08:57):
on this because they are blatantly disrespecting you and disrespecting
your marriage. And if your wife can't support you on this,
I'd suggest some marriage counseling when you get home, because
you're her chosen family. Now she needs to act like it,
not the jerk. Tell your wife you're going to book
your ticket home for today. Ask if she wants to
change her ticket to go home with you, or if

(09:18):
she wants you to cancel it because she'd rather live
with her parents forever. You don't want to follow the
engineers sealed drawing, Okay? Then I work for an aluminum
awning company. Worked in the warehouse for eight years and
learned the machines, and then I moved into sales for
the past ten and a half years. For the longest time,
all we required from our customers to quote them was

(09:39):
the size of the canopy they needed, if it needed
any minimum wind slash weightloads for being close to the coast,
or for being inland, and whether they were going to
pull a permit for the job or not. If they
needed a permit, we got an out of house engineering
firm to do a stamped slash sealed drawing, and then
we'd adjust the material list so that our customer could
build the awning according to the drawing. One of my

(10:01):
long term customers recently was purchased by two brothers that
wanted to try something new. They had worked successfully in
the tech sector, created some apps, became wealthy, and decided
to buy an aluminum awning company from the owner who
was set to retire. At first, they were all right
to deal with. They were jerks. They had to be
c seed on every email to and from their own

(10:22):
sales force and would call to yell at me if
I didn't see c back. They asked the same questions
two hundred times for each job and would tell me
we are your boss, we pay your bills. Really major jerks,
and my company considered not selling to them due to
the time and effort each individual job required to get through.
Now we get to where they made the mistake that

(10:43):
cost them around one hundred thousand dollars. This awning company
did not do residential work at all, but instead did
larger commercial jobs. Think of the overhead awnings you'll see
at the FedEx or ups bay doors or commercial buildings
with window awnings and break area awnings. Covered walkway at
schools and churches. One of these churches contacted the Brothers

(11:03):
for a series of walkways that were going to be
nearly two thousand linear feet massive job. These were going
over sidewalks between buildings, creating a new drop off area
for the school portion and smaller awnings for where teachers
and parents would sit at the playground. The church wanted
it done above board and told my customer, we need
a permit for all of this. So that's what they did.

(11:24):
They gave me the information, I got the engineer, they
worked out the details, got a price, paid it, and
within three weeks we had a set of drawings. These
drawings included six by six extruded aluminum posts, as the
awnings were going to be fourteen plus feet in the
air at some points. These are seven hundred dollars posts
depending on color and paint. My customer did not like that.

(11:47):
Brother p hey about that church job. I need you
to switch all the six by six posts to four
by four. We're going to save the church some money,
and we have an engineer that vouches for the four
foot posts. Me, do you have a stamp or a
seal for this engineer? I needed quote it according to
the drawing, but if you have another one where it
was brother P, just switch it over. We'll handle it.

(12:09):
Q malicious compliance. They had been annoying and hounding me
for this job and many others, so I switched all
of the six by six posts to four by four.
I sent the quote back with the extra line on
it stating material changed from engineer's drawing per customer request.
Printed out the email and took it to my boss
to check off. She asked me the usual questions and

(12:30):
informed me that if we sent this job out, we
would not accept any returns since it was a customer's
request to change from sealed drawings. I let my customer
know all this. They approved, and two weeks later the
material shift. Now little did my customer know, but the
head of that country's permitting office was a member of
that church, saw the construction going on over the weekend,

(12:51):
and when he finally went back to his office, asked
around for the permit for his address. He found it
with the attached drawings used to get the permit and
took all of that to the job site. From my understanding,
this man went out and measured every single post spacing
and found that my customer wasn't doing anything to the
engineer's drawing. The last I heard, he made them take
everything down, refill the holes for the posts they drilled

(13:14):
in the wrong places, and basically made them start over.
I've never smiled as hard as I did when brother
Pete called me asking to return the posts and switch
out for the six by six. Unfortunately for him, we
don't take back material that's been cut, installed, or has
screw holes, and that he signed the quote stating that
changes per his request. It took him another month to

(13:35):
finish the job, and I only wish I knew if
they broke even or not. Am I the jerk for
telling my sister in law we weren't going to cater
to her just because she's pregnant. My sister in law
is six months pregnant and is high risk. Because of that,
she's unable to work, so she couldn't keep her apartment.
The father isn't in the picture, so she moved in
with us. Her and I have never had the best relationship,

(13:58):
but I put that aside because my husband wanted to
help her. We're not charging her rent or anything, and
she has very little money. We're buying all of the
groceries and I do a lot of cooking. Here's where
the issue is. We live a pretty healthy lifestyle and
I don't like a lot of junk food in the house,
as we want the kids to have healthier options. So
I don't buy a ton. We aren't super strict or anything,

(14:19):
but we will have a thing of ice cream for
a week or so, and then next trip we might
get a box of brownie makes or a bag of candy.
Sister in law has been requesting candy, ice cream, chips,
pizza rolls, basically all junk food constantly because she has cravings. Now.
We aren't exactly rich, so I don't really want to
be spending money on food that no one but her

(14:39):
would eat, and I don't want to be dealing with
the kids constantly asking why Nan can have ice cream
for breakfast or pizza rolls for dinner. She's also been
asking me to cook different meals as certain things make
her feel not well. I totally get the nausea, but
making meals that both of my kids will eat without
complaint is hard enough. Last night she complained again that

(14:59):
I I don't keep anything she can eat in the house,
didn't want any of the food I made, and later,
when we didn't have ice cream, she asked me if
I were to go get her some from the store,
her dairy queen. I got a little short with her
and flat out told her that we're fine helping her,
but we aren't her kid's father, and we aren't just
going to cater to her because she's knocked up. She cried, husband,
feels stuck in the middle. Not the jerk. You're going

(15:23):
above and beyond by allowing her to live in your
home and provide quality shelter and food for her. Cravings
are not necessities, they are wants. She's in a situation where,
pure and simple, she didn't prepare herself to get all
of her wants. Your comment was not out of line.
She's not the first pregnant person ever, and her failure
to plan is not your problem to solve. Not the jerk.

(15:44):
She's living in your house without contributing. She needs to
stop being a choosing beggar also just going to be
a big meani and say it. If you cater to her,
then that gives her less incentive to start planning how
she will manage to eventually get out of your house
and on her own two feet once the baby is born.
You don't want to pay me a few dollars to
save thousands, okay. I used to work for a company

(16:07):
about fifteen years ago that involved constant travel every month,
both domestic and international. We were based in New York,
but a lot of people lived all around the US,
which worked out since we rarely had to travel to
New York if you played your cards right. There were
two main ways of making this work. You could volunteer
for an assignment before your normal rotation started, and they

(16:27):
would fly you from your home to the work location.
Or if there was work at or near your home
location at the start of your rotation, you could just
start at home. If you did the second option, they
would pay you at a reduced rate for the time
it would have taken to fly you from New York
to your home city where you're now starting your rotation.
The travel pay was minimal. It was paid one hour

(16:48):
for every three hours of travel, but it was a
win win. The company saved money on airfare and you
got to start close to home. I was living in
Hawaii at the time. There was a lot of work
in Hawaii, so I was fully taken advantage of the
option to start in Honolulu. Since it was roughly a
ten hour flight from the East Coast to Hawaii, I
got paid about three hours and the company didn't have

(17:09):
to buy someone's airfare to get there. When when the
company could be very petty and aggressive towards its employees
at times. It was a really strange company culture. They
would fire or suspend people on a whim, along with
other questionable practices. For example, I witnessed two employees get
fired for being in minor fender benders with minimal damage

(17:29):
and no injuries. The kicker was they even fired their
immediate supervisors over it. It was totally random when they
would go off the rails with someone, so everyone walked
on eggshells. It was a terrible place to work, and
I was trying my best to find another job, but
the job market wasn't that great at the time. I
was able to avoid the petty drama for the first
year and a half that I worked there, but it

(17:51):
finally caught up to me one day I noticed they
weren't crediting me with the one to three travel pay
for starting in my home city. Sometimes that happens and
you just need to call in to fix it. Up
until now, it hasn't been an issue. So I call
in to inquire about it, and I'm told that they
don't pay travel pay. I remind them of the policy
and that I've been using it lately without issue. They

(18:13):
transferred me to a manager who tells me that it
has never been a policy. I tell this manager that
as recently is two months ago, I spoke to someone
in their department to arrange it and it wasn't a problem.
The manager tells me that they're going to research it
and find out who it was and counsel them. At
that point, I remembered the person I spoke with two
months ago was this manager, so I informed them that

(18:34):
they were the ones that fixed it last time. Their
response was, oh, well, we don't do that anymore. I
said okay and ended the call. Apparently I upset them somehow.
I have my suspicions of what happened, but whatever malicious
compliance activated the next month, and just about every month
after that. I volunteered to start early for an assignment

(18:56):
in Germany. Now, instead of paying me three hours of
pay for the flight I don't have to take, they
are now paying the pay and airfare to fly someone
else to Hawaii, while also paying for my business class
airfare from Honolulu to Germany. Along with the pay for
the travel, They're paying several thousands of dollars in airfare
to save paying me one hundred dollars. I kept this

(19:17):
up until I was finally able to quit about six
months later. I got a lot of airline miles out
of it as well. They also had a policy where
if you were working in a place where they knew
you lived or had friends and relatives that you'd stay with,
they wouldn't pay you the per diem if you canceled
the hotel reservations they had for you, So everyone would
just check into the hotel and then go stay at
home or with friends or relatives. Now, instead of saving

(19:40):
money on the hotel, the company was wasting for the
hotel and the per diem. This kind of thinking was
common at this company. If they thought you were getting
something too good, they would spend all kinds of money
to make sure you didn't get anything, even if it
didn't cost them anything, or if they were saving money
in the process. A few years after I left, the
company ended up going out of business, no doubt, thanks

(20:02):
to their short sightedness and mismanagement. Am I the jerk
for trying to accommodate my coworker's diet? I twenty seven female,
have been at my current company for about two years.
I like to cook and bake, and my roommate is
obsessively a healthy eater, so I usually have a lot
of leftovers and I always bring them to the office.
About a year ago, Denzel twenty nine, male, was hired.

(20:26):
He and I hit it off right away, and within
a few months, people were joking that he and I
were were husband and wife, which I thought was super
funny and cute. Denzel is already married and we have
a great chemistry, but nothing has ever happened between us.
I wish. At first, Denzel seemed to really like my
baked goods, but then I noticed he had stopped eating

(20:46):
the snacks I brought. I asked him why, and he
said that he and his wife were trying a keto diet.
I decided to make some keto snacks so that Denzel
could still partake, so I made a batch of Keto
muffins the next week. Denzel didn't try those either, and
when I asked why, he said he was trying to
lose some weight. I said he didn't look like he
needed to, but that i'd try to make some healthy

(21:08):
snacks next time so that he could partake in my
food without compromising his diet. He told me I didn't
need to make anything special on his account, but I
found a recipe for low calorie Keto scoms and I
made and brought those in a few days later. I
also forwarded him information regarding fitness and calorie counting apps
that he could use as a resource. Another coworker, Megan,

(21:29):
who's friends with Denzel and his wife outside of work,
took me aside and said that I needed to stop
pushing food on Denzel, that I was making him uncomfortable
and that it made it look like I was interested
in him. She threatened to report me to HR if
I didn't stop. I was shocked, and I tried to
tell Megan that I was just being nice and trying
to accommodate everyone when bringing treats to the office, and

(21:50):
Denzel never said anything about being uncomfortable, and reporting me
to HR seemed like a huge overreaction on her part.
I'm so confused. Now, Am I the jerk for offering
food to coworkers and trying to accommodate Denzel's diet? You're
the jerk. Learn to read a room. Denzel is married.
Denzel has another woman trying to feed him who does

(22:11):
not take no for an answer. He told you to
not make him anything special, and you kept at this.
When he quit eating your food, you should have taken
a hint. I think he called it exactly right. You're
parading yourself as potential wife material, and you're a very
thin line from being pulled into HR to talk about
appropriate work behavior. You weren't bringing leftovers anymore. You were

(22:33):
baking for a specific employee and pushing it at him.
Alarms are ringing, and you omegan a huge thank you
for cluing you in before you lost your job. Go
look for available males that you do not work with,
rather than hoping the married coworker decides to cheat. You're
the jerk. As soon as you said I wish it
was obvious that you would like to have a closer,

(22:54):
non work related romance with Denzel. It's obvious to him,
so he put distance between you, and you ignored the
barriers he put off. You aren't trying to accommodate him,
You're trying to attract him, and he is a married
and b not interested. Back off and respect his wishes
that you leave him alone. You are in jeopardy of
not only looking pathetic in your workspace, but actually losing

(23:16):
your job. He should and eventually will report your behavior
to HR if you don't stop. If you want to
make healthy treats, make them for your roommate. Am I
the jerk for telling my friend to stop mimicking my
symptoms as her own for her followers? I twenty six female,
have been friends for a decade with Janet, who's twenty four.

(23:36):
We had never been super close up until twenty twenty.
Janet has always had some sort of disability, the most
prominent being an autoimmune disorder that causes chronic pain. Janet
is also very prominent on social media and often discusses
her disabilities very openly. I am not and haven't really
discussed mine in length. Recently, I've been afflicted by really

(23:57):
bad pains in my hands due to my job. I
expressed how badly things had gotten when I found myself
physically incapable of using my left hand for the most
basic of tasks, such as picking up a pencil or waving.
I told Janet about it, as she is a friend,
and she was sympathetic. But then less than twenty four
hours later, I went on to her social media and
I found her crying to her followers about her own

(24:20):
chronic hand pain. I was kind of dumbfounded since she
had just been with me the day before, opening jars
and carrying around things with no pain or complaints. I
decided to let this go and believe that she may
in fact be suffering like I am, because how do
I know if she hasn't been dealing with this. But
then it started to get weird. Janet started asking me

(24:41):
more and more questions what the pain feels like, how
frequently does it chewt to other places or was it localized,
et cetera. At first, I didn't think anything of it
and answered her only for her have the same type
of pain. Less than twenty four hours later, I was
shocked that she would say that she had the same
level and type of pain as me, even using the
same terminology that I did. I decided to stop answering

(25:03):
her questions, and for a couple months she stuck with
what she had already told her following until last night,
after a few visits with my doctor, my pain is gone, thankfully.
The only thing that has gone for good is the
grip strength I once had. But I just have to
cope with it and manage. Janet called me last night
and I stupidly told her that my pain is gone

(25:24):
and explained my grip strength issues. Can you guess what
happened next? This morning, less than twelve hours later, Janet
posted a twenty minute sobfest on social media regarding her
grip strength and how she's going to have to cope
with it leaving her I watched as she dramatically let
tears fall down her face while discussing how she can't
do basic tasks anymore. Frustrated, I texted Janet and told

(25:47):
her to stop mimicking my very painful condition and using
my symptoms as her own. For her following and for
her attention, she wrote back that I was a jerk
for suggesting that she was doing that, and then ran
to her social media to state that a friend she's
faking and how hurt she is. At first I gave
her the benefit of the doubt, but after her symptoms
marrit mind so quickly it was suspicious. Am I the jerk?

(26:10):
Edit for clarity. I don't know what kind of autoimmune
disorder she has or if that is a contributing factor
to her pain. She told me that she has not
been tested, but she feels she has one. She just
doesn't know which I didn't ask further questions because it's
not my business. I also do not discount any pain
she has. As I stated, I first was sympathetic with
her because I was not going to assume that she

(26:31):
was not experiencing things. However, the only time it was
brought up was when I had expressed something about mine
to her, either good or bad. And this has gone
on since late October, so it's not a snap judgment
kind of deal. I can't give her false symptoms or
anything like that because she's a compulsive googler. She googles
everything and will know that symptoms are fake. I've decided

(26:53):
that I will not be including her in conversations revolving
around my health, whether physical or mental, as I don't
want to be used as inspiration for her attention seeking.
As someone mentioned in the comments somewhere else, thank you
all for your comments. It really solidified that I wasn't
going crazy. Not the jerk, But consider this, You now
know who Janet truly is. What's next is up to you.

(27:15):
You could be petty and make up symptoms just to
watch her mimic them, or you can just ignore her.
She's not going to change. Your power is to change
if and how you react, and don't react to her. Hope,
maybe someday you can get your grip strength back. But
I'm glad to hear that the pain is gone. Am
I the jerk for telling my soon to be sister
in law that I didn't actually want to be in

(27:36):
her wedding? My brother is getting married in May. My
brother and I aren't super close and haven't been for
a long time. I moved to another state over thirteen
years ago. He's never been here, met my husband or
any of that. I just occasionally see him when I
visit my grandma. I have met his fiance a few
times and she's fine, but We're just very different people

(27:56):
with very different lives and priorities. She's great for my
b He's happy, and I'm happy for them. She's very
high maintenance and is all about her dream wedding and
being the princess. It's all she talks about and has
been since they got engaged. She knew he was going
to propose, so she got her hair and makeup done
and hired a cameraman for the surprise proposal, and has

(28:18):
like four of the pictures framed in her living room
of her looking surprised. Anyways, she excitedly asked me to
be a bridesmaid, and while weddings are really really not
my thing, literally got married in the kitchen by some
lady we found on the internet two days prior. I
said yes because it seemed important to her, and I
figured it would mean a lot to my brother. So
I put on my helpful hat and jumped into the

(28:41):
group chats and whatnot. The group chats never stop like ever.
I'm expected to fly down for dress shopping and other
important bridesmaid's duties, including rehearsing a flashmod dance. Anyways, I
got pregnant, and after everyone found out, sister in law
called me and told me the bride'smaid's dress she wanted
to use for the wedding, we're going to be very

(29:02):
form fitting and I probably wouldn't be comfortable being pregnant
and all, and basically let me know I was no
longer needed for the wedding party. But great news. I
can still help with all the bridesmaids duties. Now here's
where I may be the jerk. As she was going
on about how I would still be an honorary bridesmaid
and I could still help with planning and the showers

(29:23):
and the bachelorette party and all that, I cut her off.
I was in a bad mood and said, look, honestly,
I really didn't want to be in the wedding in
the first place, so I'm actually relieved I don't have
to deal with it anymore. Apparently that upset her and
made her cry, which led to an angry call from
my brother, who was saying, if I don't apologize to her,
I'm not invited to the wedding. I'm considering not apologizing

(29:46):
and not having to travel to be at the wedding
at this point. So am I the jerk? Not the jerk?
Sounds like you were very supportive and then your sister
in law tossed you aside because you were pregnant. She
sounds like a handful and then wants you to do
the work anyway. Don't apologize unless she apologizes for treating
you poorly because you're pregnant. Well, who do you think

(30:07):
is the jerk, Opie or her sister in law? Please
let us know. If there's one thing I've learned from
all of these stories over the years, it's that weddings
just really aren't worth the hassle of the drama. My
wife demands to dye our baby's hair. My mom hates
my wife to the point. No contact was the only choice.
I'll admit I should have done it sooner, but it

(30:28):
broke my heart. The relationship was so deteriorated that when
I told my mom about the no contact, she said
she didn't even care as long as she never had
to see my wife's face again. I haven't seen my
mom in two years, with the exception of my sister's wedding.
My wife and mother in law used to be close,
but are having issues lately. Mother in law has become
friends with my mom despite knowing how my mom talks

(30:51):
about her daughter. This obviously hurts my wife. My mom
has dark red hair closer to brown maybe auburn is
the right word, and I have slightly but still some
red in it. Mother in law is strawberry blonde and
my wife is regular blonde. My wife is currently pregnant.
At the wedding we attended, someone who didn't know the
situation asked my mom if she was excited to be

(31:12):
a grandmother, and my mom said that she would not
be meeting the baby and she didn't think of it
as her grandchild. But then she turned to us, laughed
and said, we might have a red haired kid, and
it's going to drive my wife crazy. My wife got
so upset that we left the wedding. A few days later,
my wife was talking to her cousin, who was a hairdresser,

(31:32):
and asking if there's any non harmful way to dye
a baby's hair. She said no, and I interrupted and
asked what it was about. My wife said that she
was thinking and it would hurt her mental health if
our daughter looked like our mom's mainly mine, and she
was seeing if there was a way to dye her hair.
I snapped at my wife that that was crazy and selfish.

(31:53):
Our baby isn't an extension of anyone, and her hair
is her hair. My wife began to cry and said
she wouldn't do it nless it was one hundred percent
non harmful, which now she knows isn't an option. But
I said it's more than that and she shouldn't have
even thought about it. She ended up crying for an hour,
which she is struggling with the pregnancy hormones right now.
But I feel awful, not the jerk. Your wife needs

(32:16):
therapy if her own kid's hair color is going to
trigger her. Came to comment this. I was sympathizing with
Op's wife up until that last bit. Her love for
her baby should overpower her disdain for her mother in law.
There should be no reason to dye the baby's hair.
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(32:37):
or come watch this video next. You won't believe what
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