Karen Demands I PAY for her USELESS Degree even though she's FAILING SCHOOL!

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
My Karen stepdaughter demands I pay for a useless college
degree that won't even get her a job in the
field that she wants to work in. My wife and
I have been married for a decade. She's a stay
at home wife and we have no kids of our own.
She has a daughter from a previous relationship, Sarah, and
we've gotten along for the most part. Sarah is a
junior in college and pursuing a biology degree with additional

(00:21):
courses required by medical schools. She's had dreams of being
a doctor and helping people since her mom and I met.
The problem is she's not a very good student. She's
failed her biology one class and had to retake it
to get a B. She really struggled in her next
level biology class and finished with a C. She also
got a C in her chemistry class. She got a
B in Calculus one and two. She's making a's in

(00:44):
her nonscience and non math classes, so they're patting her GPA,
which is at a three point two this semester. I
just learned that she will make b's and c's in
her science and math classes. I'm not a doctor and
I don't know any doctors, but I did online research.
I found out that medical ski schools require many things,
but at the top of the list, they require a
high GPA and top grades in science and math classes.

(01:07):
With Sarah's grades, she's not getting into any medical school.
I even looked into nursing school to see if I
can talk her into maybe going that route, and all
the ones I looked at require higher grades than what
she currently has. I talked with my wife about it,
and she said medical school looks at other things besides grades,
and that's where Sarah excels. She has a solid volunteer resume,

(01:27):
and she cares about people. I argued, none of that
matters if her grades are not good enough. She argues
that Sarah will do great in interviews. Like I said,
I have no experience with medical school, so I can't
argue with her logic. Instead, I talked with Sarah when
she came home for Thanksgiving and I told her to
look into another major because she might not be cut
out to be a doctor. She ran to her mom

(01:49):
and we all got into a huge argument. I admit
I lost my temper and I yelled that I'm not
wasting any more money on something she'll fail at. I
told them both. I'm not paying for next semester's classes
until she changes her major to something more realistic. I
feel bad, I really do, but I'm not rich and
I don't have money to waste if she doesn't have
a chance to get into a medical school. Am I

(02:10):
the jerk? Additional info, The reason why I want her
to switch majors is that having a biology degree without
any advanced degree is useless for my research. While I
don't know any doctors, I have friends who have biology
degrees without other advanced degrees, and they couldn't do anything
with it. One had to go back to school for
another degree. One works as an assistant manager at Low's.

(02:30):
Another has been a receptionist for twenty years. They all
advised against getting just a biology degree. While these are
all noble jobs, they didn't need to pay for a
biology degree just to get these jobs. I'm still willing
to pay for her degree if she switches to something
that will allow her to get a good job. You're
the jerk. You can pay for her undergrad even if
you think she can't get into med school. The biology

(02:52):
degree will still help her to get a job, whether
it's as a doctor or not. I'd pay the four
years if that's what you originally agreed to. I've heard
stories of non traditional routes to becoming a doctor. If
she really really wants to, she can make it happen.
I had a friend go to community college, then finish
her four year degree at a state school, go get
a master's in medical science, and then still couldn't get

(03:13):
into US med schools. So she did the Caribbean medical
school route. It's a harder path, but at the end
of it, she's still going to be a doctor when
she passes the boards and completes her residency. She can
also do grad school in a different area or move
into lab work in the area of biology. It would
be a jerk move to cut her off. Suddenly you're
the jerk. Let her graduate in biology. If her MCAT

(03:35):
scores suck, she won't get into med school, and she
can do graduate work in another area like public health
that's still medicine adjacent. She can also get a master's
in education and teach high school biology. She can also
work in a medical lab running samples. It sounds like
with her grades she won't get into med school, but
she should still finish her undergraduate degree. Well, what would

(03:55):
you do? Would you still pay for your stepdaughter's degree
or not? Please let us know husband is trying to
do our Thanksgiving meal himself this year and refuses my health.
I cook Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners every year for my husband,
his family, and our kid and half for sixteen years.
I put a lot of love, planning, and effort into
making it a really special day. This year, however, between work, parenting,

(04:18):
and everything else, I'm tired and I don't want to
cook Thanksgiving. I went to him and asked if we
could just go to a nice restaurant instead. To my surprise,
he said he'd handle it. However, even cooking a simple
Thanksgiving meal requires forethought, like getting the frozen turkey and
the fridge to defrost multiple days in advance. Now is
the time to pick up some items. I don't know

(04:38):
if he knows what he signed up for. I started
asking when he was planning on doing his grocery run
and what dishes he was planning to serve. He just
dodged the question and said he'd handle it. He has
a habit of underestimating tasks and rushing last minute. I
finally was like, look, why don't we work together and
start planning. He admitted he was only going to cook
a simple meal of turkey, breast, mashed potatoes, and rock

(05:00):
That's it. Basically, I said, that's not actually a special
holiday dinner, and I wouldn't have agreed to that had
I known what he meant. I said, I'd be happy
to work together and balance simple things like he wants
to and special like I want. I suggested turkey potatoes, packet, gravy,
box stuffing, pre made mac and cheese, canned cranberry sauce, broccoli, rolls,

(05:20):
and a storm made pie. He got really defensive and
made it about him versus me, very black and white.
Your way are my way. His offer isn't good enough
to me. I'm just trying to get my way. When
I explain, no, that's not what I meant, he insisted
that I did. I can't imagine family showing up and
being served a very simple meal like that. It's just
bad holiday hosting. Maybe coordinating a pot luck would be okay,

(05:43):
but he wasn't doing that. We already committed to hosting them,
Am I the jerk? Oh? No, OPI His family is
definitely expecting more and will also probably blame you when
they have to adjust their expectations so drastically without warning.
Not the jerk. Let him fail. Tell everyone the minute
they arrived that Hubby did everything. You're not even sure

(06:04):
what's on the menu, but you're sure it will be fabulous,
and all credit should go to him, Not the jerk.
Not the jerk. You didn't want to do it because
it's so much work, because it's a special day with
special food. You suggested visiting a nice restaurant instead, because
it's a special day, etc. It's nice that he offered
to handle it this year, but he is not really
handling it. I cost Bank of America eight thousand dollars legally.

(06:29):
A bit of context. I've been in the mortgage and
related businesses for over thirty years. I know it very well.
I've never liked Bank of America, especially their servicing division.
This story happened a few years ago. Just found out
about this group. I refinanced my mortgage through a mortgage broker,
and to my aggravation, they sold the servicing rights to
Bank of America. The entity that owns your loan is

(06:51):
usually different than the one that you paid a service
the loan. I was upset. I estimated that Bank of
America paid about five thousand dollars to service my loan.
As more, those folks at the time expect loans to
stay on the books for at least three years. About
two months after the servicing switched, Bank of America announced
they'd be charging a five dollars fee for the convenience
to pay the mortgage online. Truly an unwarranted money grab.

(07:14):
I'm blessed that I can put a little extra towards
my mortgage payment every month. So the following month, I
took out my mortgage payment plus four hundred dollars in
quarters for my local bank. I then went to my
local Bank of America branch and handed them my mortgage
payment in quarters and repayment stub. I asked for a
receipt of payment. I overpaid my mortgage to reduce the
current balance and thereby reducing Bank of America's fees. The

(07:38):
nice branch manager said, you can write a check. You
don't have to pay in coins. I said I could,
but I would charge a nine dollars and fifty cents
convenient fee for the stamp my check and the ink used.
The branch manager actually laughed and said okay. They counted
the money and I got my receipt. Next month, the
charge was still there. So I went to another local
Bank of America branch, which had gotten bad reviews on

(07:59):
yellow due to the hostile bank manager. I did the
same thing. The branch manager said, write at check, we
don't accept quarters. I said, shall I call the local
States Banking Commissioner, the Consumer Financial Protection Board, and the
Office of the Comptroller of the Currency, US top bank regulator,
and say you won't accept legal tender. I asked to

(08:20):
talk to the district manager. I was making a stink.
About twenty minutes later, he begrudgingly had the staff count
the quarters and I got a receipt. I told the
manager that I would be bringing dimes next time. The
next month, I brought dimes. He accepted them, but glared
at me the whole time. After that payment, Bank of
America rescinded their convenience fee. The month after that, I

(08:41):
refinanced my mortgage at a lower rate. Bank of America
only got roughly six months of fees for servicing, and
they expected to last three years at minimum five years
to be profitable. One of my proudest malicious compliance moments.
They must be my leaves on my curb as you wish.
The leaf collection company from my neighborhood has absurdly strict

(09:02):
rules about where leaves must be for pickup. I live
at the end of a cul de sac, so my
curb is curved and pretty short, about thirty feet nine
meters long. My property is wedge shaped, so my backyard
is quite long two hundred feet sixty meters and has
forty to fifty oak trees. I also have two sugar
maples in my front yard, so leaves lots of leaves.

(09:23):
Pick up rule state leaves must be within five feet
of the curb, but not on the road. They must
also be at least fifteen feet from a mailbox. Because
subscriptions for leaf pickup are by individual homeowner, neighbors are
not allowed to combine leaves and cannot buy a group subscription.
Subscribers must only put their leaves from the current year
out for pickup. Pickup trucks use GPS to identify homes

(09:46):
who have signed up and ignore leaves in front of
homes that did not sign up. Because I have so
many leaves and so little curb, only fifteen feet of
available curb due to the required distance from a mailbox.
I call the leaf collection company and as to put
the leaves along a longer curve I share with my neighbor.
No problem, they said, great. The truck came through and
picked up a fraction of the pile and left the

(10:09):
rest of the pile the driver decided was in front
of my neighbour's property. I called the company back and
a different person said, those are the rules. I'll just
have to figure it out. Fine, now it's on. I
have fifteen feet of width and five feet of death.
There is, however, no limit on height. I moved the
remaining leaves to my available curb space. I collected the

(10:30):
rest of my leaves and added them to the pile.
I spoke with my neighbors and acquired the rights to
their leaves by paying them one dollar each. Now they
are all my leaves. I shoveled and swept the leaves
off the streets. They went on the pile. I collected
the repurchased leaves from the neighbors. They went on the pile.
Leaves continued to fall, so I kept adding them. It

(10:50):
was a lot of work, but the pile was over
twelve feet tall. I spent a ton of time using
a snowshovel to fling the leaves to the top of
the pile that was more than five feet abay of
my head. Neighborhood residents stopped to gape at the epic
leafbound I'm happy to battle willful ignorance with malicious compliance.
I reminded myself of this every time I spent another

(11:11):
hour tending to the obscenity at my curve. The truck
came today. The pile dwarf the truck. They had to
drive away and dump leaves, then come back and reload twice.
Angry director gets her come up ince in four gradual actions.
Several years ago, I used to work at an agency
that hired us out as short term temporary workers or contractors.

(11:32):
These jobs pretty much consisted of stuff that company employees
couldn't be bothered to do, and so got someone in
to sort it out. It wasn't great, but I had
to make ends meet anyway. One of these jobs was
for one hundred and fifty hours at five weeks of
office administration. There wasn't much more information to go on,
but a job is a job. The office turned out

(11:52):
to be a quite small, stuffy little building at the
back of an industrial estate. I was told to report
to Beryl. When I turned I was met by a
rather grumpy looking old lady having a cigarette by the
front door. This was Beryl. Beryl didn't even say hello
to me or even ask my name, but showed me in,
pointed at an enormous pile of boxes full of paperwork,

(12:14):
saying this all needs to be scanned in. There are
two scanners connected to a computer there. Off you go,
let someone know if you need help. So off I went.
That pile of boxes was to be my job for
the next month and a bit joy. The office was
predominantly young men, with Beryl being the only other woman.
She was in her fifties and spent more time smoking

(12:36):
than working, and without being rude, clearly didn't look after herself.
It was quite flattering to have a bunch of these
guys popped by my workstation for a chat occasionally. After
a few days of scanning, Beryl visited my cubicle. She
wasn't happy that I spent too much time talking and
not enough time working. I was confused. While I didn't
have any metrics or targets I was pretty consistently working

(12:57):
through this mountain of paperwork. I got the impression that
Beryl didn't like the attention I was getting. I pointed
out to her that I haven't left my desk apart
from to go to the bathroom. If someone's over here
to talk to me, then that's fine, as I can
talk and scan at the same time, like I'm doing
right now. She wasn't happy and turned away, calling out
just do your job as she left. Some of the

(13:19):
other guys had heard this, and they popped by my
desk later and said not to worry. They'd had agency
staff before, and Beryl always hated if a young woman
arrived because she was grumpy and jealous, not my words.
In fact, a few years ago, one young woman had
left the office in tears because Beryl had torn her
a new one for going off to lunch with some
of the other guys. Naturally, this annoyed me, particularly because

(13:42):
Beryl thought she could bully and disrespect agency staff, and
I certainly wasn't going to leave the job because of
an angry jerk. Malicia's compliance number one. For the rest
of my time there, I made sure to get dressed up,
makeup curls a mini office dress still at o'heels. When
Beryl saw me quick my way down the office the
next day, fully dressed up, just to scan some paperwork,

(14:04):
she scowled at me but didn't say anything. The next week,
Barrel took some time out of her busy smoking schedule
to visit me in my cubicle, the second time she
had done so. Since I'd started, some of the paperwork
I was scanning had been stapled together, so I'd asked
someone in the office for a staple remover and a stapler.
I used to pull out the staple, scan the document,

(14:24):
rename it on the computer, then re staple it and
put it back in the box. I was just pulling
a staple out when Beryl walked by. Beryl's first words
to me were, what are you doing? I replied that
this document was stapled and if I put it in
the machine it would jam. She raised her voice slightly
and said, nobody told you to do that. Just scan
each page separately, leave the papers alone. I could almost

(14:48):
hear her eye roll as she walked away. Malicious compliance
number two. So I did. I scanned everything with staples,
just fold it over, and then created folders called document
one two three, and each scal and went in as
one two three page one dot pdf, one two three
page two dot pdf. You get the idea. This slowed
me down a lot, but hey, it's what I was

(15:09):
asked to do. At some point, Barrel walked by and
saw me flipping pages like that. I'd put my hair
in a bun and taken my heels off, and she smirked.
She thought she had flustered me and that I didn't
see a reaction. Don't worry, Beryl, you didn't and I did.
The paperwork I was scanning in was boxed up as
the newest first, so as I got to some of
the older papers, these had been moved around a couple

(15:31):
of times and were slightly scruffed up or folded or similar.
A gamed scanner wasn't an issue. It had happened a
couple of times, but as I got to the older
papers the gams became more frequent. It was easy to
sort through. Just open the back door of the scanner,
roll the paper out, cancel the job, and redo it.
At this point I'd gone back to unstabling and restapling
because Beryl had given me some space thinking she had

(15:53):
broken me and I just wanted to get the job
done so I could leave. Barrel walked in one day.
This would have been my fourth week there. She saw
me unjamming the scanner and flipped her top. She yelled,
what are you doing? At this point, all heads in
the office turned to where we were. I calmly told
her the scanner has jammed. I'm just pulling the paper
out so I can rescan it. She didn't take more

(16:15):
than a few minutes, she continued, yelling, at no point
where you instructed to perform the repairs. We have someone
for that. Stop what you are doing and get someone
to help you. I asked you this when you started.
Why can't you follow simple instructions? It took a lot
of patience not to argue back with her, which I
thought was what she wanted. But I said, okay, fine,

(16:36):
can I speak to the IT guy to squirt this out.
I couldn't have choreographed her response better. I then knew
that she did want me to argue so that she
could kick me out, because she hesitated and said, um, well,
the IT guy is off for the rest of the week.
This was a Thursday. Ahem. Use the other scanner. If
you jam it, let me know, and stormed off. Malicia's

(16:59):
complying number three. I knew her diary and she was
off The next day, Friday. I carried on with one scanner,
making sure it didn't jam that day, and waited until
the next morning. Coincidentally, the scanner jammed on the first
piece of paper I fed into it. Who'd have thought? Obviously?
I rang Beryl. She didn't answer her phone and she
wasn't in the office. I spent the days sitting around

(17:21):
without much to do. Whilst talking to the guys in
the office, I learned that the company had been bought
by a much larger IT firm, and they just wanted
the rights to the proprietary software that they had developed.
It also turned out that the CEO of the small
company basically paid himself into retirement and appointed Beryl as
the director. Beryl knew that her days were numbered, so
she was even more bitter to the staff. The guys

(17:44):
working there had been committed various levels of careers within
the new IT firm, which they were happy with. As
I was told one hundred and twenty thousand employees thirty
DEV rolls are easy to find one director role is
not anyway. When we returned on Monday, you could almost
see the vein in her neck throbbing. She had wasted
an entire day of whatever her company paid my agency

(18:05):
because little old me wasn't trusted to fix a paper jam.
I used to get in a little later than the
rest of the staff agency perks, but when I got in,
she had had the IT champion perform the skilled job
of opening a scanner and pulling a piece of paper out.
She didn't even look at me when she said, scan
us all fixed, Get on with your job and don't
mess around. At this point you might be thinking this

(18:28):
is a lot of text for some pretty trivial malicious compliance.
Well you'll like the final part. My last week there
coincided with a new contract that the company had been
given by their new owners. I assume it was some
sort of litmus test, whilst I don't pretend to understand
what it was. The job involved a lot of scanning
documents that had been handwritten. Hooray more boxes. At the

(18:50):
same time, a few of the guys who worked in
there were going on a visit to the new parent company,
which were based in the USA. I live in the UK.
The IT champion was one of these guys who went.
When the boxes were delivered to my cubicle, Beryl popped
by and said, please take priority. All of what I
said to you is more important than ever. Do not

(19:10):
mess around otherwise you're out of the door. Am I clear? Yes, ma'am.
The paperwork delivered was from the USA. Our paper sizes
are different. The first piece of paper I fed into
the scanner, jammed it a safety lock because it expected
a four and got us letter instead. I jammed both scanners. Beryl,

(19:31):
not being one to turn down a free trip to America,
had gone with them. I rang her at eleven am
UK time, which was five am their time. She picked
up and was not impressed. I felt sorry for the
folks adjacent to her hotel room when she screamed down
the phone, you've done? What now? Why I tell her
about the USA paperwork? Can you not fix it? Final

(19:54):
malicious compliance? No, You've told me many times that I
can't fix these machines. What's the business continuity plan? Side note,
my brother told me that phrase and he still doesn't
understand why. Turned up to his house a bit later
with a few pizzas and a box of beer. Beryl
had no idea what to do. She was clearly flustered.
Can you just do what you can? We need this done.

(20:16):
What would you want me to do? Can you fix
the scanners? Because this is really important. I'm sorry you
told me I can't do that. I need simple instructions
to work with. Just fix it. I'd be happy to
show an it specialist where the scanners are if you
can get them here to hang up tone. Well, that's that.
Then I spent the rest of the week chatting with

(20:37):
my colleagues, updating my CV and applying for jobs. Nobody
turned up to fix the scanners. When my final week finished,
I said bye to the guys i'd worked with, wished
them luck, and left with none of the critical paperwork
scanned in. When Barrel got back from her business trip,
I learned that she had spent one day at the
parent company and left it to the other guys. When

(20:58):
crap hit the fan because nothing was being delivered, they
wondered where she was. This was day two into the
five day business trip. She was at a spa phone
switched off. She flew out early on day five without
seeing any of her colleagues. Of the parent company. I
kept in touch with a few of the guys afterwards.
After this, the DEV guys were transferred contracts to the
larger IT firm. They all got a very small salary increase,

(21:21):
but they were able to work from home. This was
before lockdown, so it was a bit of a rarity
back then. Beryl meanwhile didn't fare so well. She was
initially offered redundancy paid including pension deals, but when someone
complained that she had not been present for the meetings,
which I think was their IT champion, they found out
she had been sightseeing, shopping, tanning, and getting her hair

(21:43):
done on company time. She ended up being fired. No bonus,
no pension, nothing. I quit the agency not long after,
and after one or two moves, ended up in a
job I'm very happy with. The agency were none of
the wiser about any of this. They just wanted their money,
and aside from one initial check, left me to it.
Am I the jerk for eating alone in a different

(22:04):
room at my boyfriend's parents' house. For many years, my
boyfriend's parents have had us over for brunch, lunch, or dinner.
They have a nice deck with an outdoor table and chairs,
and use it to eat or hang out. The thing is,
it has to be freezing temperatures before they'll concede and
eat in the dining room. I've had to sit on
that deck many times, trying to eat my food while
I'm shivering, even though I'm wearing layers. Last week, we

(22:27):
were over there for brunch mid morning. The outdoor table
was set with plates, et cetera. I had my layers
on again, but I was cold. When we were outside,
I noticed the thermometer read about forty five degrees fahrenheit. The
food got cold quickly, and I decided I'd had enough.
I told them as nicely as I could that I
was too cold. The mom turned to the dad and asked, well,

(22:49):
should we pack it in? The dad, scooping food into
his mouth, said nah, it's not too bad out here,
and kept on eating. Nothing more was said, not even
from my boyfriend. Everyone just kept eating. So I apologized
sincerely that I needed to eat inside, gathered my plate, napkin, silverware,
and glass, and went into the dining room. I finished

(23:10):
eating before they were done, and since I was warmed up,
I went back to the deck while they finished up.
I could feel tension and no one even talked to me.
After we left, my boyfriend went off on me in
the car for being rude. I agree it's not the
best thing to do, but I had put up with
this for a long time out of politeness, and I
think their behavior is nutty. Sure, after years of this,

(23:31):
I should know better than to go over there with
my boyfriend if it's a cold day. I do it
to be a good girlfriend and a good daughter in law,
not the jerk. They were rude. You're a guest. They
should have went inside. What's wrong with them? Forty five
degrees fahrenheit is cold. Maybe they should invest in a
patio heater, Opie, great idea Christmas gift from Junior and me.

(23:53):
You do realize that getting them that heater would only
be an excuse for them to stay out in the
cold weather even longer, right, op good point. But if
it works well enough to keep me warm, we can
all be happy. Might need to get two. Oh, but
it's not cold enough to start it only forty five degrees.
That thing costs money to run. You know. I would

(24:14):
simply just not go to their house when it's too
cold to sit outside. Forty five degrees fahrenheit is seven
degrees celsius. No, just no. Ope, that reminds me. The
dad keeps the hot water heater off and turns it
on when he wants to take a shower. He thinks
having hot water sitting around will result in wasted energy
lost when it's not used. I mean, yeah, there is

(24:35):
some loss, but not much. Even my boyfriend thinks that's extreme.
The mom hates this. Husband expects me to handle our
Christmas this year with just one hundred dollars, so I'm
as stay at home mom with three kids. My husband
works full time and it gets an okay salary, but
he's tightened the grip on spending for the past four
months to be able to save up to go watch

(24:56):
the football event overseas. He's literally obsessed with anything to
do with football. He said he rarely ever gets to
do what he wants to, and so I didn't want
to judge him since it's his money. Eventually, we discussed
plans for Christmas and he told me to handle everything
since he won't be back until December twentieth. He told
me he had put aside money for Christmas decorations, food gifts,

(25:17):
kids needs, et cetera. The money in total was one
hundred dollars. I was completely shocked, and I told him
one hundred dollars for an entire family's Christmas celebration was
ridiculously not enough. He shrugged, saying it's all he's got.
But I pointed out how he's paying for his friends
and his girlfriend's travel expenses. He told me to just
take it, but I said that if he decides to

(25:39):
leave me with just one hundred dollars, then I won't
be doing anything for Christmas. We had lots of arguments
and couldn't get this resolved. He's in Katar now. He
left days ago. Yesterday, while I was cleaning, I found
an envelope with the same one hundred dollars and a
note from him telling me to make it work. I
sent him a message that I've decided I won't be

(25:59):
doing anything for Christmas with this little money. Period. He
was livid. He just kept sending an angry message after another,
calling me spoiled and telling me to stop expecting to
live like I was still living in my parents' house,
and to stop trying to rob the kids of enjoying
the holidays like the other kids. I haven't replied, but
he's livid, saying I'm punishing him for going and trying

(26:20):
to guild him using his own money. Not the jerk.
Why is it his money when you're in charge of
the household admin and childcare while he waltzes off with
his friends to pay thousands to watch a bunch of
overpaid guys kick a ball around a stadium built on
eco destruction and human rights violations. No sane person from
this century could pull off Christmas with one hundred dollars

(26:41):
unless they go in for petty theft on a grand
scale ultimatum time he treats you as an equal financially,
or you leave and get child support. Not just that
he would rather pay for his buddy and his girlfriend
to travel than provide his kids with a decent holiday. OPI,
you're not the jerk, and if you have any other
family to spend the holidays with, please do that instead.

(27:02):
So he has one tightened the family budget for an
event that only benefits him. Two paid for his friend
and his friend's girlfriend even though point one exists. Three
expects you to plan, cater and buy Christmas decorations, et
cetera with one hundred dollars and just deal with it.
Four is gas lighting you and blaming you for his
selfish accent and choices. Five it's not his money, it's

(27:26):
his family's money. I'm sure if you worked and pulled
a stunt like this, he would be more than upset.
Six use the one hundred dollars to get a locksmith.
He doesn't value you and your contributions to the family,
nor your three kids. The World Cup isn't any more
important than your family. It's literally televised. There's no real
reason to go. Not the jerk. To be honest, if

(27:47):
someone showed me and our kids this much disrespect, the
only thing they'd be getting is separation and divorce papers.
Am I the jerk for walking out of a restaurant twice?
After my wife made me the third wheel again? I
thirty mail my wife twenty nine. Female planned a date
night tonight as our kids were at my in laws.
We hadn't decided where to go, and while driving, my

(28:09):
wife asked me where to go. I told her that
I don't care as long as it's somewhere that her
coworkers don't work. Because my wife works in the restaurant
industry and knows a lot of people that work at
the places near us. This turns into the majority of
our dates being her talking with them instead of me.
So I tell my wife, as long as I'm not
made into a third wheel again this time, I'll be happy.

(28:31):
She picks a text Mexs place and says, I don't
know anyone that works there. As soon as we walk
into the restaurant, someone shouts my wife's name and a
woman comes over to us and tells us she'll take us.
Turns out this woman is an ex coworker. We sit
at our table and my wife and her are already
talking and gossiping about the things going on at their
previous jobs. I wasn't mad at this point because I

(28:53):
know that they want to catch up. After several minutes
of this, she left to go get our drinks, and
my wife apologizes and says that she had no idea
that she worked there. A few minutes later, she comes
back with our drinks and her boyfriend, who is also
an ex coworker of my wife's, and they proceed to
talk and ignore me again. Then, after taking our food orders,

(29:13):
she stays at the table and they talk for another
five to seven minutes instead of putting our order in.
I try to join in, and I'm ignore it again.
When she goes to put the order in, I tell
my wife, I asked for you not to do this
one thing tonight. She proceeds to tell me that she
didn't want to be rude and it's just small talk.
I tell her that I tried to join in and

(29:34):
they ignored me. She tells me that they didn't ignore me,
they just didn't hear me. I was speaking as loud
as they were. She then asks me, what do you
want me to do? Tell her to buzz off? I
said no, politely tell her that you are on a
date with your husband and we'd like to spend some
time together. She tells me that this is rude and
it's basically the same as telling her to buzz off.

(29:55):
She tells me to stop being in a bad mood
because we are alone now and that I'm the only
one ruining the night. I said, fine, then I'll remove
myself and got up and walked out of the restaurant.
I stood outside several minutes until she called and begged
me to come inside. There were a few issues with
my meal, which turned into another argument, with her saying

(30:15):
nothing can be right because I'm in a bad mood
because she spoke to someone. I told her that I
refused to let her make me the jerk in this situation.
She says that I'm being controlling and this is what
normal people do, and that I'm being psychotic. I ask
her for the keys so I can go out to
the car and cool off. She tells me no, so
I tell her I'm going to walk home and get

(30:37):
up to leave. She calls me twenty minutes later, asks
where I am and comes to pick me up. This
turned into another giant fight and her saying she's going
to stay the night at her parents and that this
is why her friends think I'm the jerk. So am
I the jerk at it? I forgot to mention that
our server's boyfriend that also works at the restaurant and
knows my wife, also approached the table and spoke to

(30:58):
my wife. However, that was a two minute conversation. Then
he left and didn't bother us again. Not the jerk.
You made it clear that this was a sore spot,
and your wife chose to be rude to you rather
than risk coming across as rude to her friends. She
easily could have said It's so great to see you guys,
but this is a rare night without the kids for us,
so let's catch up later. That would have been considerate

(31:21):
of everyone. She prioritized her friends over you. You're the jerk.
You got so upset that your wife was chatting to
a friend that you stormed outside to pout like a child.
After you went back in, you had problems with your
food and then got so upset you wanted to leave
and walk home. This is pretty childish behavior. It seems

(31:41):
your wife legitimately didn't know that her former colleagues worked here,
and you never explained to the colleague that you were
on a date night and would appreciate some privacy. And
you needed to be the one to say that because
it is your wife's industry. If your wife said it
and it was taken rudely, it could affect her reputation
if you said it, worst case, they might. I think
your wife is married to a jerk, but at least

(32:02):
it won't affect her. But in general, going outside to
pout because your wife is talking to someone else and
you feel ignored just seems like something a child would do,
not a grown man. Well, who do you think is
the jerk op or his wife? Please let us know
I would have been like, excuse me way on a
date night. Can you like stop bothering us? Support our

(32:24):
channel by joining as a member today and we'll give
you a shout out in our next video. Or come
watch this video next. You won't believe what Karen does
in that one.