December 16, 2025 • 33 mins
In today’s episode of Reddit Stories Podcast, a wild Karen completely loses it. You won’t believe how this one ends! Sit back, relax, and enjoy this binge-worthy Reddit Stories Podcast, featuring Karen freakouts, entitled people stories, and pro revenge tales.
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📌 **Every episode dives into trending Reddit stories, insane Karen freakouts, and dramatic pro revenge stories! We cover the wildest situations from r/EntitledPeople, r/AITA, and r/EntitledParents. If you love binge-worthy podcast compilations, long-form storytelling, and Reddit drama stories, you’re in the right place!
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🎧 Listen to More Reddit Stories Podcast Episodes Here:
👉 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/5ZVzMm0Pr3bwlM26VuVv8J
👉 Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/mr-redder/id1516821033
📌 **Every episode dives into trending Reddit stories, insane Karen freakouts, and dramatic pro revenge stories! We cover the wildest situations from r/EntitledPeople, r/AITA, and r/EntitledParents. If you love binge-worthy podcast compilations, long-form storytelling, and Reddit drama stories, you’re in the right place!
👉 📺 Love These Stories? Watch Full Video Episodes on YouTube! → https://www.youtube.com/@MrRedderYT
🎵 Music Credit: https://soundcloud.com/lakeyinspired
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/reddit-stories-podcast-mr-redder--5571651/support.
Enjoyed this story? Follow the show and leave a quick rating.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
My son is too good for public school. He deserves
to go to a private school. Send him to one
or else.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
Oh slash entitled parents our first story we'll be reading today.
Karen X demands I send our son to a private school.
So I thirty two male, had my son, Ben, who's
fourteen male, really young. My girlfriend Ivy and I were
both eighteen at the time and we had just graduated
high school. Ivy wanted to not have the baby, but
I wanted to keep him. We agreed that she would
(00:30):
carry him to term, but that she had signed over
all parental rights to me and have no responsibility to
raise him. I raised him alone for seven years until
my wife, Jane thirty four female, came into the picture.
Jane legally adopted Ben two years ago and was the
only real mother figure in his life until one year ago,
when Ivy showed up again. She reached out to me
(00:50):
via Facebook and asked to meet Ben. I told Ben
what was going on, and I gave him the choice.
Speaker 1 (00:55):
He said yes.
Speaker 2 (00:57):
The three of us met up at a diner and
the two of them had a very emotional conversation. They've
been in sparse contact ever since.
Speaker 1 (01:04):
Now.
Speaker 2 (01:04):
I didn't know this at first, but Ivy has since
converted to Catholicism. Now I have no issues with her religion. However,
she recently contacted me and asked me to send Ben
to a local Catholic private school for high school. He'll
be a freshman next year. She explained that she wants
Ben to know her faith and that the school has
a good reputation. She even offered to pay two thirds
(01:24):
of the tuition, but I said no. Why did I
say no? Neither Ben nor I are religious at all.
I asked Ben if he wants to go to the
Catholic school or the local public high school, and he
said he'd rather go to the public school to stay
with his friends. Tuition is quite expensive, and even one
third would be a financial burden. I've heard horror stories
about things that happen at those schools, and I don't
(01:46):
want to risk Ben getting hurt. Their curriculum isn't publicly available,
and I don't know how they would teach science, other
things and history. I don't want him learning a bunch
of stuff that I.
Speaker 1 (01:56):
Don't believe in.
Speaker 2 (01:57):
Even with all of these reasons, she still Ben's mother,
and going against her wishes could risk their relationship. Would
I be the jerk if I sent him to the
public high school?
Speaker 1 (02:06):
Not the jerk.
Speaker 2 (02:07):
She signed over her parental rights at birth. You did
more than enough to even consider it and give Ben
the option. Also, the curriculum not being available to parents
is a huge red flag. Also, Ben, at age fourteen,
is old enough to know that his opinion matters. Even
if op were in favor of the idea, it would
still not be okay given Ben is against it.
Speaker 1 (02:29):
It would also not be.
Speaker 2 (02:30):
Okay if she, for instance, asked Ben to attend church
against Ben's wishes.
Speaker 1 (02:35):
Not the jerk.
Speaker 2 (02:36):
She gave up her parental rights. She can raise her
kids as she sees fit. But Ben is not functionally
her kid to raise anymore, and hasn't been for a
long time. Am I the jerk for not inviting all
of the students to a barbecue? I thirty female. I'm
a teacher. I have a class with twenty four students.
I teach first grade. I told my students that we
(02:57):
could have a barbecue at a park with hot dogs
and hamburgers, and for whoever filled their good noodle sticker charts.
This has been approved by the principal, and I teach
it at private school. We have daily sticker charts to
track their behavior. They had to have perfect behavior all
of April in order to participate. I have one student
who has some behavioral issues. They did not earn all
(03:18):
of their good noodle stickers this month. Since this student
will call, Bobby didn't earn the barbecue I had barbecue.
Since this student will call Bobby didn't earn the barbecue,
I had let his mother know just in case he
mentioned it. Bobby would join another class for the day
and do work inside while his classmates were at the barbecue.
She's been sending emails complaining to myself and the principal
(03:40):
all week about how her kids should also have been
able to participate and it's unfair. She thinks we should
make an exception since he has behavioral issues and feels
we could be targeting him. I think I'm being fair
because he did not earn all of his good noodle stickers.
So am I the jerk update. I had a meeting
today after school the parents and principle. The principle agrees
(04:02):
it would not be fair to the other students to
allow Bobby to participate. She expressed she understands the frustration,
but she needs to make it fair for all of
the students and not just Bobby. The father said he
understood and thought it was a fair assessment if all
of the other students were able to complete the goal.
The mother argued Bobby's iep. The principle then reminded her
we follow his IP as a courtesy, but as a
(04:25):
private school, we legally do not have to follow it,
and she has a choice to come to this school.
But if she'd like to unenroll Bobby, then there was
a waiting list of students they could contact to take
his place. Bobby will still be enrolled in this school
and in my class, if anyone is wondering, he will
not be attending the barbecue.
Speaker 1 (04:42):
Update two.
Speaker 2 (04:43):
Bobby's mother came to the school yesterday to drop off
Bobby's lunch he forgot at home. She arrived during the
kid's snack recess. All of the kids were playing freeze tag,
a game where once you're tagged, you have to freeze
until someone unfreezes you. I was inside prepping art while
the teacher's aid was with me. Bobby's mother came inside
absolutely livid, saying we were forcing her kid to stand
(05:05):
in one place and not let him move. We explained
the game, and she said, then the students are cruel
for not unfreezing him, but unfreezing everyone else. She was
making such a big scene and being so loud that
the principal overheard. Their office is down the hall. His
mother was removed from the school grounds and we had
a meeting with his father in the afternoon. The principal
let him know Bobby would need to be unenrolled due
(05:27):
to his mother's behavior. He did try to get him
to stay until at least the end of the year,
but ultimately understood. He was also told if Bobby's mother
is on the school grounds again, the police department will
be called immediately.
Speaker 1 (05:41):
You're the jerk.
Speaker 2 (05:42):
As a former educator myself, I hate these kinds of
public exclusionary rewards, especially for the very young kids. These
are first graders. From what you've posted, it sounds like
this was the only student excluded. There's literally no way
that is going to encourage better behavior from this kid
in the future. Kidd especially the younger ones, often act
(06:02):
out in reaction to emotional stimuli. They don't have the
appropriate tools to process.
Speaker 1 (06:06):
Yet.
Speaker 2 (06:07):
Ninety nine percent of the time a kid of first
grade age who is acting out, has trouble somewhere, stress
or problems at home, getting bullied who knows. For the
same reason, it's unfair to punish younger kids for tardiness
or attendance issues. It's unfair to expect a kid this
young to behave all the time when you have no
idea what might be happening in their lives that isn't
in their control. Publicly, excluding one kid is going to
(06:30):
make behavioral issues worse. You're turning them into a pariah
to their peers. Kids can be mean and honestly don't
need much to single someone out as other. I know
you want to use some kind of reward system for
the kids who are behaving the way you want, but
you're talking about six year olds. Something as big as
a barbecue at the park should have been an all
or nothing class goal. Singling out the one kid who's
(06:52):
having trouble, which again you as the teacher, will almost
never know the true source of is bullying. If these
were high schoolers, that would be one thing. Teenagers are
more mature and can be expected to have more control
over their behavior. But we're talking about kids who are
only six years old. You need to rethink your reward
system keeping in mind age appropriate expectations for these kids.
Speaker 1 (07:14):
Edit.
Speaker 2 (07:14):
Some of your comments specified that the kid has an
IEP one hundred percent.
Speaker 1 (07:18):
You're the jerk.
Speaker 2 (07:19):
A kid that young, who already has an IEP is
never going to be able to meet that level of
behavioral expectation, regardless of whatever accommodations the IEP calls for
perfection for a month, you set this kid up to fail.
Hopefully not on purpose, but that's still the outcome. Learn
from this in the future. Am I the jerk for
calling my mom a heartless jerk? I have a four
(07:42):
year old son and I had him when I was sixteen.
It's a complicated situation. My parents said that the only
thing they had provided me with was my room, and
I had to care for the baby myself. It was hard,
but it worked out in the end. My parents treat
my son a lot nicer now too. My brother just
turned fourteen and he's the best. In fact, my son
looks up to him and my brother adores him. My
(08:04):
son made this drawing of him and my brother and
gave it to my brother for his birthday. My brother
loved it so much that he kind of brushed off
the presents me and my parents gave him. It upset
my parents, but they kept their mouths shut. My son
draws so many pictures of him and his uncle now,
and he gives every single one to my brother, and
my brother puts every single one on his wall. My
(08:25):
brother was out of sleepover and I had taken my
son out for a fun day. When we got back,
my son ran to my brother's room to show him something.
The door was wide open, and the first thing he
noticed was that all of his drawings were gone. He
just began to cry and cry, and it took forever
to calm him down. He eventually went to sleep. My
brother came back the next day and when he went
(08:45):
to hug my son, he started to cry. My brother
was confused, so I told him that he saw the
empty wall. My brother was still confused, so he went
to his room and came back really upset. He said
that he didn't do that, and he's actually going to
cry as well because he liked those drawings. My mom
came down and he immediately confronted her, and she just
said that she didn't realize how much he liked those
(09:08):
drawings and she took them down while she was cleaning
his room.
Speaker 1 (09:11):
I was mostly shocked.
Speaker 2 (09:13):
She was there the night before when my son saw
the wall and started crying, and she was comforting my
son and everything.
Speaker 1 (09:18):
I felt betrayed.
Speaker 2 (09:20):
I called her out for how she acted last night,
and she told me to relax, that I'm not allowed
to speak to her like that. I honestly lost it
and I called her a heartless.
Speaker 1 (09:29):
Jerk, my own mother.
Speaker 2 (09:31):
I felt bad this second I said it, but it
felt good too. My mom looked so shocked and just
turned back and went to her room. My dad confronted
me later and yelled at me for what I said.
He said that regardless of what she did, she's my mom,
and when he wanted to kick me out, Mom's the
one who convinced him to let me and my baby stay.
Speaker 1 (09:49):
Am I the jerk? I feel guilty now. Edit.
Speaker 2 (09:52):
She didn't take them down temporarily. She took them down
and threw them out. And it wasn't just random drawing
stuck to a wall. It was organiz and laid out
with a lot of care.
Speaker 1 (10:03):
Not the jerk.
Speaker 2 (10:04):
Wow, your mom has some serious jealousy issues going on
there I really hope she doesn't cause any damage to
the relationship between your brother and your son.
Speaker 1 (10:13):
Not the jerk.
Speaker 2 (10:14):
Sounds like your mom's playing mind games. It's obvious that
they mean a lot to both your son and your brother.
A fourteen year old wouldn't put up stuff all over
their walls that they didn't want up. Sounds like she
was stirring the pot purposefully to try to get a
reaction from you so that she can come in and
save the day by letting you stay. So she both
caused the issue, and she's the good guy in the situation,
(10:37):
not the jerk. You can apologize for calling her names
for your own conscience and if this was truly out
of character thing for her to do, but don't back
down on pointing out how what she did was wrong
and hurt both her son and grandson immensely. There was
no good reason for her to throw those drawings out,
and she can't justify it either. Also, your mom doesn't
get an award for being a decent parent. When your
(10:59):
dad wanted to throw you out, that was quite literally
her job. Am I the jerk for refusing the babysit
because of ten dollars? So I sixteen Mail live next
door to a single mom, Anne and her two kids,
Max who's nine and Mia who's seven. Every month or so,
when she needs a break from them, I babysit for
a few hours eight fifty an hour. She's usually gone
(11:21):
for four hours at a time and is back around
fifteen minutes later than her specified return time. She leaves
me with a list of emergency contacts in case something
happens and she can't get home fast enough. We agreed
that if I had to use an emergency number, I
get ten dollars extra as crisis pay. The last time
I was watching the kids, around a month ago, Anne
(11:41):
stayed out an hour and a half past her specified
return time and wasn't answering my text or calls. I
got worried, so I called one of the emergency contacts
and sister Jen, who came over to stay in the
house while she tried to get a hold of Van.
The kids were asleep by this point, but she didn't
want to leave them in an empty house, and I
went home.
Speaker 1 (12:00):
Well.
Speaker 2 (12:01):
As it turns out, Anne had driven into the countryside
with no reception to stargaze and got lost. Jen texted
me this around midnight. Once Anne finally texted her back.
The next morning, my mom woke me up saying that
Anne was at the door for me. Here's how the
conversation went, me a little groggy. Hey, what's up? Are
you okay?
Speaker 1 (12:21):
Anne?
Speaker 2 (12:22):
I'm all right. I just stopped by to pay you.
She handed me an envelope. There you go, kiddo, forty
seven bucks. Me.
Speaker 1 (12:31):
Wait, what about the crisis? Pay? I had to call
your sister? It should be fifty seven? What crisis?
Speaker 2 (12:37):
I wasn't in an accident or anything. I just got
lost me. You said it was if I had to
use an emergency contact. You never said anything about other requirements.
Speaker 1 (12:48):
Look, just take it and be happy.
Speaker 2 (12:50):
A kid like you doesn't need that much money for
five and a half hours of messing around on your phone.
Me fine, have a nice day. I shut the door
and write it off as a loss. Fast forward to yesterday.
Anne texts me that she wants to go out on
a girl's night and wants to know if I'm free
to babysit. I say that I am, but that she'll
need to pay me the ten dollars from last time
(13:11):
before I agree to it. She says that she won't
do that, and restates her argument that it wasn't a
real crisis, so I shouldn't get crisis pay. I tell
her that I won't be babysitting for her until I
get that ten dollars. She says that she really needs
this break and calls me entitled for refusing. I step
back into bewilderment. A few minutes go by without any
(13:32):
more text from her, so I go to my mom
to clue her in. I show her the conversation, and
to my surprise, my mom agrees with Anne. She affirms
that I'm being entitled, that I don't know how hard
it is to be a single mom, and that I
should suck it up and just babysit. I say that
I need time to think, and I head up to
my room. This morning, Anne texted me to ask if
I would babysit or not. I restated my ultimatum, and
(13:55):
she also held firm in her refusal. She said she'll
find another sitter. I said that's fine. So far I've
stood my ground, but now I'm questioning if my mom
might be right.
Speaker 1 (14:05):
Am I the jerk? Nope? Nope, nope, not the jerk.
Speaker 2 (14:09):
You provided a service with agreed upon clauses, and you
used said clause and she's trying to weasel out of
paying you back because she doesn't consider your time valuable.
I personally wouldn't babysit for her again because she will
try to manipulate you again at it. Also, just because
you're just a kid and you don't need that much money,
you should let her know that regardless of your age,
(14:30):
you're still a person who deserves to have their time
and effort respected, not the jerk. You have the right
to refuse to offer your paid services to anyone. Additionally,
that counts as a definite crisis. The kid's mom was
nowhere to be found. Also, it's not your responsibility to
be captain to save a single mom. Am I the
jerk for not inviting my dad's wife to the wedding? I,
(14:52):
twenty four female, got engaged last May to my fiance,
twenty four male. I'm very excited about it, but when
it came down to planning, I knew that my parents
would be a tough situation. My parents separated when I
was sixteen and didn't get officially divorced until twenty twenty.
My dad remarried in twenty twenty one. I'll refer to
his wife as Sharon. During the initial separation, my sisters
(15:14):
and I stayed with our mom. She was going through
such a hard time. My dad in the beginning attempted
to make an effort with my sisters and me, but
it was very obvious that he was eager to start
his new family. He eventually became a distant father, only
really talking to us around holidays, taking Sharon and her
kids on trips and bonding with them. I missed my dad,
(15:35):
but he seemed to have already moved on from us,
and he was never a good person to communicate with.
I still attempted to have some sort of relationship, even
if it was at arms length. I invited him to
my high school in college graduation, which he attended both
without Sharon. When Sharon and my dad got engaged, none
of us were happy about it, but it was what
he wanted. We went to the wedding. All three of
(15:56):
us were very emotional about it, which family on my
dad side could tell, and they tried to comfort us.
I've never been mean to Sharon. I've always just sort
of tolerated her. We never formed any kind of bond
and I only ever saw if I was visiting my dad,
which already was once in a while. The same applies
for my sisters. So now being engaged, I've taken everything in.
(16:18):
I decided I wanted my dad at my wedding, but
just as my dad, he wouldn't get a plus one
or anything of the sort. To make things fair, I
set the same rules for my mom. This past weekend,
I went to talk to him and Sharon, my fiance,
was with me.
Speaker 1 (16:32):
When I told them.
Speaker 2 (16:33):
I said that I meant no disrespect, but I had
to also think of my mom and that this would
be easier. I also made it a point to tell
him that my mom isn't allowed to bring anyone either.
If Sharon wanted to celebrate our wedding, we could always
also do dinner another time. I thought letting them know
in advance, since the wedding isn't until fall of twenty
twenty four, he would hopefully take it well and still
(16:53):
want to show up. I was emotional, and afterward he
did hug me and told me that he would let
me know their decision, and I left feeling better.
Speaker 1 (17:01):
But things changed. On our way home. He called me.
Speaker 2 (17:05):
He asked if this was my decision, which I said
yes to. Then he told me that we could do
dinner another time, and essentially his answer was no, I
was upset, so we just set our goodbyes and that
was that.
Speaker 1 (17:17):
Edit.
Speaker 2 (17:18):
Some asked why I don't want Sharon there, and I
commented my explanation here it is she was part of
the reason my father left and no way do I
consider my mother the better parent and everything, but she
wanted to work and try. Sharon was my father's coworker.
When he left, he immediately moved in with her, and
if I am honest, my sisters and I have never
seen her as a stepmother, but more so as our
(17:40):
dad's girlfriend or wife.
Speaker 1 (17:42):
There's just no relationship there.
Speaker 2 (17:44):
I will admit I never fully tried, but I was
young when I was navigating everything, and I had no
idea how to handle it. There was also no effort
on her end that has led to where I am
today and my relationship with her and my father.
Speaker 1 (17:57):
No jerks here.
Speaker 2 (17:58):
You said boundaries, respected them, but ultimately decided to not attend.
You have every right to allow or disallow anyone you
want to your wedding, but he has the right to
decline your invite. It sounds like he both handled it
well and that he respects your decision. Honestly, when you
implied your dad was eager to start his new family
and that he became distant to you and was doing
(18:19):
more with his new step kids, I wondered why you'd
even invite him to your wedding at all. What a tool,
not the jerk, I think, Ultimately, no jerk's here. In
your dad's defense, your mom and him have been separated
for eight years now. Both should be able to be
cordial in a public setting. And let's be real, Sharon
isn't going anywhere. She'll be around for holidays, birth days,
(18:40):
celebrations and other things. It's not completely realistic to establish
a baseline where your dad's partner is not permitted at
big family moments. However, it does sound like your relationship
with your dad has been strained since the separation, and
that you too, have never found your way fully back together.
Nor does it sound like you and Sharon found some
shared ground. Makes sense why you may not want her
(19:01):
there sit and look pretty instead of doing actual work. Okay,
for the sake of clarity, I'm going to say I
work in an industry, which is similar to warehousing, same
logic in the grand scheme of things. In my branch
and several surrounding branches, there are only two staff members
to keep the place running, so we all have casual uniforms,
(19:22):
just a polo shirt and appropriate pants and footwear. I
mainly do administrative work, and I have a team member
who works in the back end of things, but I'm
capable and willing to jump outside when required of me.
Examples of me needing to work in the back would
be if we had a huge rush, or if I
need to send my teammate to help at another branch
or out on the road to collect stock, and I
have to fill in for him while he's gone. It's
(19:44):
a pretty good setup because working outside really breaks up
the monotony of being stuck at a desk all day,
and it's easy enough to do both parts of the
job when I need to. Some genius in head office
decided he wanted to change the uniform for any and
all admin staff to something a little more corporate in dressy.
I can only describe this uniform as a three piece
suit made with the heaviest fabrics known to man. Suddenly,
(20:07):
I've gone from wearing a polo shirt, which is comfortable
and easy to move around in, to wearing a white,
long sleeved business shirt with a vest, jacket and handkerchief,
complete with skirt stockings and slight heels. I straight up
looked like a flight attendant working in an industrial warehouse
and can barely lift my arms high enough to hold
my steering wheel on the drive to work. It was
(20:27):
a poorly designed uniform and I was so incredibly uncomfortable
wearing it. I was very quick to voice my anger.
I first mentioned how it's unfair, borderline cruel to expect
staff to wear such a thick and layered uniform when
we live in Australia, particularly in a place known for
our consistent high temperatures and harsh sun. I then asked
how I would be expected to leave the desk to
(20:49):
operate machinery and do heavy lifting in a suit, skirt
and heels. I was met with the promise that anyone
working in admin and wearing a corporate uniform would not
have to leave their desk to do any back end
work at all. I raised another concern, stating that we
did not have enough staff for them to make this
particular promise and still maintain our quality of work and
hit our deadlines, and was met with a strong guarantee
(21:11):
that I would not have to do any physical work
in my day to day operations. I was all but
ordered to sit at the desk to look appealing for
clients and never move from there. Okay, then no problem.
From that point onwards, I followed their instructions. I never
left my desk. There would suddenly be long wait times
for orders and fulfillments because my team member was on
(21:31):
the road on a job and there was no one
on site to continue his work until he got back.
If my team member called in sick, I would spend
the day pushing back deadlines with clients, which affected our
targets and our reputation. Funny enough, my teammate only started
getting sick because I had to have the office air
conditioning on freezing temperatures so I wouldn't get a heat
stroke at my desk. I was honest with clients who
(21:53):
had complaints and explained that I would usually step in
to help make sure their needs were met, but was
specifically instructed not to any more, and then redirected their
complaints through to customer service and head office. After a
few months of this, I was invited to a meeting
with three of my direct managers and an HR representative.
They were clearly upset about the drop in productivity an
(22:14):
amount of complaints we were receiving. I let them all
say their peace before reminding them I raised these concerns
to them months ago and was merely following instructions given
to me, which were abundantly clear that I was to
take care of admin work at my desk and do
nothing else. I let them know my hands were tied,
so all I could do was look pretty and playcate
clients when we inevitably couldn't meet their.
Speaker 1 (22:35):
Needs as promised.
Speaker 2 (22:36):
I suggested hiring more warehousing staff to fill in the
gaps left by the admin staff, who were now chained
to their desk by their uniform and unable to ease
the pressure of the workload like we used to. I
could see that comment definitely hit them right where I
wanted it to, and they couldn't argue with me for
following their instructions, so I was told they would get
back to me on a solution moving forward. Well, here
(22:57):
I am at work two weeks later, typing in this
post while wearing my old polo shirt uniform. I was
fully prepared to find another job if their solution wasn't reasonable,
And maybe I still will look to leave this place,
but I'll take the wind for now. Am I the
jerk for not telling her there was crawfish in the
PASTA context? I twenty nine female, live in South Louisiana.
(23:20):
All my family is from the area Mississippi and Texas.
Our family had a cookout on Sunday for my mom's
sixtieth birthday. It was at me and my husband's house.
We did a majority of the cooking. I made crawfish
Cajun fetcini and husband made potato salad. We also had
deviled eggs, cheese, and fruit plate, bootean and green beans
brought by others. It was about twenty two people over.
(23:44):
My brother, twenty six male, and his girlfriend Brittany, who's
twenty four, were there. Brittany is a transplant from Ohio.
She's been here for a little under two years. She's
been with my brother almost just as long. Brittany is
vocal about hating shellfish, especially crawfish and shrimp. She has
said that they are bugs and water roaches and they
gross her out. My family, especially my dad and uncles,
(24:06):
tease her about not liking shellfish, but it's not malicious.
At the cook out, I didn't see Brittany or my
brother until everyone settled. I saw Brittany was at a
table with an empty bowl. She told me she loved
the feticcini and ate two servings. I told her that
there was crawfish head fat and some other back straps
in it, so I was surprised she enjoyed it. My
(24:27):
uncle was at the table talking to my brother and
said some comment about how they'll make her a real
Southern girl. Yet Brittany immediately looked embarrassed and got very quiet.
I left her alone after that, as it seemed like
she didn't want to talk. My brother took me aside
later and said Brittany was upset and thought I purposely
tricked her into eating crawfish. I told him that wasn't true,
(24:48):
but he said I should have made it more obvious
about the fetticcini. I honestly didn't think to tell her.
I was very busy, so it wasn't at the front
of my mind. I wanted to talk to her, but
my brother said not to as she was already in
their car, and she and my brother left the cook
out early despite me trying to get them to stay.
I talk to my cousin about this. She thinks Britney
feels very othered and singled out. I get it, but
(25:12):
that's not the case here, and I feel like she
was being dramatic, especially since my brother left early on
our mom's birthday.
Speaker 1 (25:18):
Am I the jerk? No jerks here?
Speaker 2 (25:21):
I understand why you didn't tell her, But given how
much of a hard time she had been given about
the issue, I absolutely understand why she was upset. She
probably is now preparing herself to be pressured into eating
shellfish for the rest of the time.
Speaker 1 (25:33):
She knows your family people will.
Speaker 2 (25:35):
Be total jerks about it because they already have been
teasing people for their preferences. Is so rude, and now
that she's eaten it once, you know they will never
let off. You say, the teasing isn't malicious, but does
it make her uncomfortable? If yes, then they need to stop.
We aren't required to like the food people think we
need to like, and liking it in one dish doesn't
mean we're going to ever want to eat it again.
(25:57):
You know, they'll never let her forget this. We all
know these kinds of people, and they're awful I heard
for her. I'd be surprised if she ever comes to
a family dinner again, because she just doesn't want to
deal with the teasing.
Speaker 1 (26:08):
Oh no, being teased about not liking crawfish. The horror,
the horror. Oh. You know how it is these days, Karen.
Speaker 2 (26:16):
Some people's biggest problem in life is figuring out what
they're gonna watch on Netflix. Today new neighbors keep using
our pool without permission. Should I call the cops on them?
I'm thirty two female. My wife and I finally bought
our own home instead of renting. It. Took a lot
of work, but we did it, and it's a home
we both love and plan to spend the rest of
our lives in. It even has a pool, which is
(26:36):
just amazing and something I'd always wanted but never thought
i'd have. The issue is our next door neighbors. I
keep finding their kids using our pool, having hopped our fence,
and I keep getting them to leave. I've spoken to
their parents about this issue, and they've told me that
the elderly couple we bought the house from would let
them use the pool in exchange for cleaning it, so
they're just used to being able to use it. I
(26:58):
told them that was fine when it was the last neighbor,
but it's something my wife and I are not comfortable
with as we don't know them well enough. Plus if
they were to get hurt, we'd feel awful about it.
They insist that nobody would get hurt and asked if
it would be okay if they used it whenever we
weren't using it, as they're just kids, and spoke about
how it's getting hotter now. I was getting annoyed at
(27:18):
this point and told them they should get their own
pool then, and I'd already told them we weren't comfortable
with this. Ever since then, I've had to chase them
away a couple more times, and their parents are constantly
sending me dirty looks whenever they see me. I've since
posted a sign stating it's a private pool and can
only be used with permission. Am I really being unfair here? Yes,
it sucks that they had an arrangement with the last owners,
(27:41):
but it's our pool now.
Speaker 1 (27:43):
Not the jerk.
Speaker 2 (27:44):
You know, those parents would sue you into the next century.
If someone got hurt in your pool, you need to
have your pool totally fenced off with a locking gait.
I would also report the kids to the police as trespassing,
if only to put the parents on notice. OP should
tell the neighbors that next time they will call the cops,
and if they don't take the warning seriously, actually call
the cops. OP has already put signs up in everything,
(28:06):
and the law is on OP side.
Speaker 1 (28:09):
You are wrong.
Speaker 2 (28:10):
The law is not on op's side. A pool is
an attractive nuisance, and regardless of signs, fence, et cetera,
OP is liable. I had all this stuff, fence, alarm,
et cetera, and lost a lawsuit when a known neighborhood
nuisance hopped the fence, was drunk and ended up passing.
Am I the jerk for telling my daughter that I
can't compete with her stepmom and if she can't cope
(28:31):
with it, she should live there full time. Fifteen years ago,
I nineteen at the time, dated this guy, Mark, who
is twenty five. I got pregnant after a few months
with him. I wasn't ready for a kid, so I
gave Mark full custody of our daughter, Natalie who's now fourteen,
and I'd visit a couple of times a year. Marcus
from a good family and already had a great job
when we first met. He quickly climbed up the ladder
(28:53):
and was able to give Natalie a very privileged life.
When Natalie was two, he met Amy and they got
married when Natalie four. Natalie and Amy have always been
very close and Amy is very much involved in her life.
She's room mom, head of the PTA, she was the
soccer coach, the softball coach, head of the theater guild,
and found a way to be part of everything Natalie
(29:14):
was involved in. She also drives Natalie to school early
in the mornings so they could stop for breakfast first,
and she packs Natalie's lunch every day and not something
like peanut butter and jelly in a bag of chips.
She makes Natalie's steak or kish or lettuce wraps with
a side of salad, with homemade dressing, fresh fruit, and
homemade dessert. Natalie doesn't understand that the only reason Amy
(29:35):
is able to do all of this is because she
doesn't work and she doesn't have to do much around
the house. They have a cleaning service come multiple times
a week. I recently got an apartment close to Mark
in Amy's house, and I have Natalie one week out
of the month now. It was pretty hard for both
of us at first. Natalie had a hard time understanding
that we're not stopping for breakfast before school, and the
(29:55):
best thing she's going to get from me for lunch
as a turkey sandwich cookie from the grocery store I
work at, a bag of chips, and an apple. She
was also not used to the fact that she has
to clean up after herself. Natalie was here last week
and we were all ready not getting along because she
had an event at school that week that she told
Amy about and not me, because she refused to clean
her room, and because I found out she's been throwing
(30:17):
away the lunches I make for her and asking Amy
to bring her lunch since she started staying with me.
She had a sore throat on Wednesday, and I let
her stay home from school, then started to get ready
to leave for work. When I was about to leave,
she made a comment that Amy always stays home with
her when she doesn't feel well. I said, it's a
sore throat and she'll be fine, but she got an
attitude and said that I should try to be a
(30:39):
good mom like Amy. We ended up arguing and I
told her that I can't compete with Amy and that
if she can't handle that, she needs to go back
to her dad's house. So she called Amy to pick
her up, and I haven't heard from her sins. I
was supposed to take her out for dinner this Saturday,
but now she doesn't want to go. So I wanted
to know if I was the jerk. You're the jerk.
Your daughter may have your dear but you aren't her mother.
(31:01):
She's been through a dramatic change when you stepped back
into her life. Because of that, your expectations for this
relationship aren't realistic. She's fourteen and you literally abandon her
at birth. You have a golden opportunity to get to
know the young woman she's becoming, but you've turned this
situation into a competition between you and her mother. You
cannot blame her at all for not wanting to spend
time with you. I don't understand how OP turned it
(31:25):
into a competition. Given the example provided in the post,
what was she supposed to do miss work to stay
home with Amy and lose money and day off for
a non emergency just because our stepmother doesn't work and
could actually stay with Amy in such a situation because
she a is not employed, b doesn't rely on the
money from work, there was a no win for OP there.
(31:45):
The kid literally demands stuff OP can't provide, like breakfast
at cafes because she cannot afford it on a single income. Presumably,
your comment contains no actual advice of what she was
supposed to do, apart from generic do better edit.
Speaker 1 (32:00):
Just to clarify, there are different issues here.
Speaker 2 (32:02):
OP is not the jerk for the situation described in
the post, and that's what I refer to in this comment. However,
she appears to be the jerk for forcefully inserting herself
into the life of this teenager by fighting Natalie's parents
in court for custody instead of simply agreeing to visitation rights.
All this presumably in response to Amy wanting to adopt.
Speaker 1 (32:21):
Not the jerk. I think you need a full stop
and try to imagine how you'd feel if you were
your daughter.
Speaker 2 (32:27):
She's been given a very nice life by her father
and stepmom. You were rarely in the picture, and that's
when it suited you. Now you decided to become a mom,
and you think this human whom you birth should be
so happy to have you in her life.
Speaker 1 (32:39):
I wouldn't.
Speaker 2 (32:40):
I'd be upset if I had to leave the comfort
of my home to go stay with a stranger for
a week every month, simply because she decides to move
close enough that it's convenient for her. You've uprooted her.
You're not helping her to adapt. You expect her to
be happy year round, and you're mad because she isn't.
You pull her away from her comfort for an entire
week and take her to a place that's clearly less
(33:00):
than she's accustomed to, and you're mad because she's not happy.
She's fourteen. Fourteen year olds aren't happy anyway, and you're
giving her way more reasons to be unhappy.
Speaker 1 (33:10):
I demand you subscribe to our channel right now and dip.
Speaker 2 (33:13):
The bell for all notifications, and watch this video next,
the one that just popped up.
Speaker 1 (33:18):
You're going to love that one. We'll see you there.
My son is too good for public school. He deserves
to go to a private school. Send him to one
or else.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
Oh slash entitled parents our first story we'll be reading today.
Karen X demands I send our son to a private school.
So I thirty two male, had my son, Ben, who's
fourteen male, really young. My girlfriend Ivy and I were
both eighteen at the time and we had just graduated
high school. Ivy wanted to not have the baby, but
I wanted to keep him. We agreed that she would
(00:30):
carry him to term, but that she had signed over
all parental rights to me and have no responsibility to
raise him. I raised him alone for seven years until
my wife, Jane thirty four female, came into the picture.
Jane legally adopted Ben two years ago and was the
only real mother figure in his life until one year ago,
when Ivy showed up again. She reached out to me
(00:50):
via Facebook and asked to meet Ben. I told Ben
what was going on, and I gave him the choice.
Speaker 1 (00:55):
He said yes.
Speaker 2 (00:57):
The three of us met up at a diner and
the two of them had a very emotional conversation. They've
been in sparse contact ever since.
Speaker 1 (01:04):
Now.
Speaker 2 (01:04):
I didn't know this at first, but Ivy has since
converted to Catholicism. Now I have no issues with her religion. However,
she recently contacted me and asked me to send Ben
to a local Catholic private school for high school. He'll
be a freshman next year. She explained that she wants
Ben to know her faith and that the school has
a good reputation. She even offered to pay two thirds
(01:24):
of the tuition, but I said no. Why did I
say no? Neither Ben nor I are religious at all.
I asked Ben if he wants to go to the
Catholic school or the local public high school, and he
said he'd rather go to the public school to stay
with his friends. Tuition is quite expensive, and even one
third would be a financial burden. I've heard horror stories
about things that happen at those schools, and I don't
(01:46):
want to risk Ben getting hurt. Their curriculum isn't publicly available,
and I don't know how they would teach science, other
things and history. I don't want him learning a bunch
of stuff that I.
Speaker 1 (01:56):
Don't believe in.
Speaker 2 (01:57):
Even with all of these reasons, she still Ben's mother,
and going against her wishes could risk their relationship. Would
I be the jerk if I sent him to the
public high school?
Speaker 1 (02:06):
Not the jerk.
Speaker 2 (02:07):
She signed over her parental rights at birth. You did
more than enough to even consider it and give Ben
the option. Also, the curriculum not being available to parents
is a huge red flag. Also, Ben, at age fourteen,
is old enough to know that his opinion matters. Even
if op were in favor of the idea, it would
still not be okay given Ben is against it.
Speaker 1 (02:29):
It would also not be.
Speaker 2 (02:30):
Okay if she, for instance, asked Ben to attend church
against Ben's wishes.
Speaker 1 (02:35):
Not the jerk.
Speaker 2 (02:36):
She gave up her parental rights. She can raise her
kids as she sees fit. But Ben is not functionally
her kid to raise anymore, and hasn't been for a
long time. Am I the jerk for not inviting all
of the students to a barbecue? I thirty female. I'm
a teacher. I have a class with twenty four students.
I teach first grade. I told my students that we
(02:57):
could have a barbecue at a park with hot dogs
and hamburgers, and for whoever filled their good noodle sticker charts.
This has been approved by the principal, and I teach
it at private school. We have daily sticker charts to
track their behavior. They had to have perfect behavior all
of April in order to participate. I have one student
who has some behavioral issues. They did not earn all
(03:18):
of their good noodle stickers this month. Since this student
will call, Bobby didn't earn the barbecue I had barbecue.
Since this student will call Bobby didn't earn the barbecue,
I had let his mother know just in case he
mentioned it. Bobby would join another class for the day
and do work inside while his classmates were at the barbecue.
She's been sending emails complaining to myself and the principal
(03:40):
all week about how her kids should also have been
able to participate and it's unfair. She thinks we should
make an exception since he has behavioral issues and feels
we could be targeting him. I think I'm being fair
because he did not earn all of his good noodle stickers.
So am I the jerk update. I had a meeting
today after school the parents and principle. The principle agrees
(04:02):
it would not be fair to the other students to
allow Bobby to participate. She expressed she understands the frustration,
but she needs to make it fair for all of
the students and not just Bobby. The father said he
understood and thought it was a fair assessment if all
of the other students were able to complete the goal.
The mother argued Bobby's iep. The principle then reminded her
we follow his IP as a courtesy, but as a
(04:25):
private school, we legally do not have to follow it,
and she has a choice to come to this school.
But if she'd like to unenroll Bobby, then there was
a waiting list of students they could contact to take
his place. Bobby will still be enrolled in this school
and in my class, if anyone is wondering, he will
not be attending the barbecue.
Speaker 1 (04:42):
Update two.
Speaker 2 (04:43):
Bobby's mother came to the school yesterday to drop off
Bobby's lunch he forgot at home. She arrived during the
kid's snack recess. All of the kids were playing freeze tag,
a game where once you're tagged, you have to freeze
until someone unfreezes you. I was inside prepping art while
the teacher's aid was with me. Bobby's mother came inside
absolutely livid, saying we were forcing her kid to stand
(05:05):
in one place and not let him move. We explained
the game, and she said, then the students are cruel
for not unfreezing him, but unfreezing everyone else. She was
making such a big scene and being so loud that
the principal overheard. Their office is down the hall. His
mother was removed from the school grounds and we had
a meeting with his father in the afternoon. The principal
let him know Bobby would need to be unenrolled due
(05:27):
to his mother's behavior. He did try to get him
to stay until at least the end of the year,
but ultimately understood. He was also told if Bobby's mother
is on the school grounds again, the police department will
be called immediately.
Speaker 1 (05:41):
You're the jerk.
Speaker 2 (05:42):
As a former educator myself, I hate these kinds of
public exclusionary rewards, especially for the very young kids. These
are first graders. From what you've posted, it sounds like
this was the only student excluded. There's literally no way
that is going to encourage better behavior from this kid
in the future. Kidd especially the younger ones, often act
(06:02):
out in reaction to emotional stimuli. They don't have the
appropriate tools to process.
Speaker 1 (06:06):
Yet.
Speaker 2 (06:07):
Ninety nine percent of the time a kid of first
grade age who is acting out, has trouble somewhere, stress
or problems at home, getting bullied who knows. For the
same reason, it's unfair to punish younger kids for tardiness
or attendance issues. It's unfair to expect a kid this
young to behave all the time when you have no
idea what might be happening in their lives that isn't
in their control. Publicly, excluding one kid is going to
(06:30):
make behavioral issues worse. You're turning them into a pariah
to their peers. Kids can be mean and honestly don't
need much to single someone out as other. I know
you want to use some kind of reward system for
the kids who are behaving the way you want, but
you're talking about six year olds. Something as big as
a barbecue at the park should have been an all
or nothing class goal. Singling out the one kid who's
(06:52):
having trouble, which again you as the teacher, will almost
never know the true source of is bullying. If these
were high schoolers, that would be one thing. Teenagers are
more mature and can be expected to have more control
over their behavior. But we're talking about kids who are
only six years old. You need to rethink your reward
system keeping in mind age appropriate expectations for these kids.
Speaker 1 (07:14):
Edit.
Speaker 2 (07:14):
Some of your comments specified that the kid has an
IEP one hundred percent.
Speaker 1 (07:18):
You're the jerk.
Speaker 2 (07:19):
A kid that young, who already has an IEP is
never going to be able to meet that level of
behavioral expectation, regardless of whatever accommodations the IEP calls for
perfection for a month, you set this kid up to fail.
Hopefully not on purpose, but that's still the outcome. Learn
from this in the future. Am I the jerk for
calling my mom a heartless jerk? I have a four
(07:42):
year old son and I had him when I was sixteen.
It's a complicated situation. My parents said that the only
thing they had provided me with was my room, and
I had to care for the baby myself. It was hard,
but it worked out in the end. My parents treat
my son a lot nicer now too. My brother just
turned fourteen and he's the best. In fact, my son
looks up to him and my brother adores him. My
(08:04):
son made this drawing of him and my brother and
gave it to my brother for his birthday. My brother
loved it so much that he kind of brushed off
the presents me and my parents gave him. It upset
my parents, but they kept their mouths shut. My son
draws so many pictures of him and his uncle now,
and he gives every single one to my brother, and
my brother puts every single one on his wall. My
(08:25):
brother was out of sleepover and I had taken my
son out for a fun day. When we got back,
my son ran to my brother's room to show him something.
The door was wide open, and the first thing he
noticed was that all of his drawings were gone. He
just began to cry and cry, and it took forever
to calm him down. He eventually went to sleep. My
brother came back the next day and when he went
(08:45):
to hug my son, he started to cry. My brother
was confused, so I told him that he saw the
empty wall. My brother was still confused, so he went
to his room and came back really upset. He said
that he didn't do that, and he's actually going to
cry as well because he liked those drawings. My mom
came down and he immediately confronted her, and she just
said that she didn't realize how much he liked those
(09:08):
drawings and she took them down while she was cleaning
his room.
Speaker 1 (09:11):
I was mostly shocked.
Speaker 2 (09:13):
She was there the night before when my son saw
the wall and started crying, and she was comforting my
son and everything.
Speaker 1 (09:18):
I felt betrayed.
Speaker 2 (09:20):
I called her out for how she acted last night,
and she told me to relax, that I'm not allowed
to speak to her like that. I honestly lost it
and I called her a heartless.
Speaker 1 (09:29):
Jerk, my own mother.
Speaker 2 (09:31):
I felt bad this second I said it, but it
felt good too. My mom looked so shocked and just
turned back and went to her room. My dad confronted
me later and yelled at me for what I said.
He said that regardless of what she did, she's my mom,
and when he wanted to kick me out, Mom's the
one who convinced him to let me and my baby stay.
Speaker 1 (09:49):
Am I the jerk? I feel guilty now. Edit.
Speaker 2 (09:52):
She didn't take them down temporarily. She took them down
and threw them out. And it wasn't just random drawing
stuck to a wall. It was organiz and laid out
with a lot of care.
Speaker 1 (10:03):
Not the jerk.
Speaker 2 (10:04):
Wow, your mom has some serious jealousy issues going on
there I really hope she doesn't cause any damage to
the relationship between your brother and your son.
Speaker 1 (10:13):
Not the jerk.
Speaker 2 (10:14):
Sounds like your mom's playing mind games. It's obvious that
they mean a lot to both your son and your brother.
A fourteen year old wouldn't put up stuff all over
their walls that they didn't want up. Sounds like she
was stirring the pot purposefully to try to get a
reaction from you so that she can come in and
save the day by letting you stay. So she both
caused the issue, and she's the good guy in the situation,
(10:37):
not the jerk. You can apologize for calling her names
for your own conscience and if this was truly out
of character thing for her to do, but don't back
down on pointing out how what she did was wrong
and hurt both her son and grandson immensely. There was
no good reason for her to throw those drawings out,
and she can't justify it either. Also, your mom doesn't
get an award for being a decent parent. When your
(10:59):
dad wanted to throw you out, that was quite literally
her job. Am I the jerk for refusing the babysit
because of ten dollars? So I sixteen Mail live next
door to a single mom, Anne and her two kids,
Max who's nine and Mia who's seven. Every month or so,
when she needs a break from them, I babysit for
a few hours eight fifty an hour. She's usually gone
(11:21):
for four hours at a time and is back around
fifteen minutes later than her specified return time. She leaves
me with a list of emergency contacts in case something
happens and she can't get home fast enough. We agreed
that if I had to use an emergency number, I
get ten dollars extra as crisis pay. The last time
I was watching the kids, around a month ago, Anne
(11:41):
stayed out an hour and a half past her specified
return time and wasn't answering my text or calls. I
got worried, so I called one of the emergency contacts
and sister Jen, who came over to stay in the
house while she tried to get a hold of Van.
The kids were asleep by this point, but she didn't
want to leave them in an empty house, and I
went home.
Speaker 1 (12:00):
Well.
Speaker 2 (12:01):
As it turns out, Anne had driven into the countryside
with no reception to stargaze and got lost. Jen texted
me this around midnight. Once Anne finally texted her back.
The next morning, my mom woke me up saying that
Anne was at the door for me. Here's how the
conversation went, me a little groggy. Hey, what's up? Are
you okay?
Speaker 1 (12:21):
Anne?
Speaker 2 (12:22):
I'm all right. I just stopped by to pay you.
She handed me an envelope. There you go, kiddo, forty
seven bucks. Me.
Speaker 1 (12:31):
Wait, what about the crisis? Pay? I had to call
your sister? It should be fifty seven? What crisis?
Speaker 2 (12:37):
I wasn't in an accident or anything. I just got
lost me. You said it was if I had to
use an emergency contact. You never said anything about other requirements.
Speaker 1 (12:48):
Look, just take it and be happy.
Speaker 2 (12:50):
A kid like you doesn't need that much money for
five and a half hours of messing around on your phone.
Me fine, have a nice day. I shut the door
and write it off as a loss. Fast forward to yesterday.
Anne texts me that she wants to go out on
a girl's night and wants to know if I'm free
to babysit. I say that I am, but that she'll
need to pay me the ten dollars from last time
(13:11):
before I agree to it. She says that she won't
do that, and restates her argument that it wasn't a
real crisis, so I shouldn't get crisis pay. I tell
her that I won't be babysitting for her until I
get that ten dollars. She says that she really needs
this break and calls me entitled for refusing. I step
back into bewilderment. A few minutes go by without any
(13:32):
more text from her, so I go to my mom
to clue her in. I show her the conversation, and
to my surprise, my mom agrees with Anne. She affirms
that I'm being entitled, that I don't know how hard
it is to be a single mom, and that I
should suck it up and just babysit. I say that
I need time to think, and I head up to
my room. This morning, Anne texted me to ask if
I would babysit or not. I restated my ultimatum, and
(13:55):
she also held firm in her refusal. She said she'll
find another sitter. I said that's fine. So far I've
stood my ground, but now I'm questioning if my mom
might be right.
Speaker 1 (14:05):
Am I the jerk? Nope? Nope, nope, not the jerk.
Speaker 2 (14:09):
You provided a service with agreed upon clauses, and you
used said clause and she's trying to weasel out of
paying you back because she doesn't consider your time valuable.
I personally wouldn't babysit for her again because she will
try to manipulate you again at it. Also, just because
you're just a kid and you don't need that much money,
you should let her know that regardless of your age,
(14:30):
you're still a person who deserves to have their time
and effort respected, not the jerk. You have the right
to refuse to offer your paid services to anyone. Additionally,
that counts as a definite crisis. The kid's mom was
nowhere to be found. Also, it's not your responsibility to
be captain to save a single mom. Am I the
jerk for not inviting my dad's wife to the wedding? I,
(14:52):
twenty four female, got engaged last May to my fiance,
twenty four male. I'm very excited about it, but when
it came down to planning, I knew that my parents
would be a tough situation. My parents separated when I
was sixteen and didn't get officially divorced until twenty twenty.
My dad remarried in twenty twenty one. I'll refer to
his wife as Sharon. During the initial separation, my sisters
(15:14):
and I stayed with our mom. She was going through
such a hard time. My dad in the beginning attempted
to make an effort with my sisters and me, but
it was very obvious that he was eager to start
his new family. He eventually became a distant father, only
really talking to us around holidays, taking Sharon and her
kids on trips and bonding with them. I missed my dad,
(15:35):
but he seemed to have already moved on from us,
and he was never a good person to communicate with.
I still attempted to have some sort of relationship, even
if it was at arms length. I invited him to
my high school in college graduation, which he attended both
without Sharon. When Sharon and my dad got engaged, none
of us were happy about it, but it was what
he wanted. We went to the wedding. All three of
(15:56):
us were very emotional about it, which family on my
dad side could tell, and they tried to comfort us.
I've never been mean to Sharon. I've always just sort
of tolerated her. We never formed any kind of bond
and I only ever saw if I was visiting my dad,
which already was once in a while. The same applies
for my sisters. So now being engaged, I've taken everything in.
(16:18):
I decided I wanted my dad at my wedding, but
just as my dad, he wouldn't get a plus one
or anything of the sort. To make things fair, I
set the same rules for my mom. This past weekend,
I went to talk to him and Sharon, my fiance,
was with me.
Speaker 1 (16:32):
When I told them.
Speaker 2 (16:33):
I said that I meant no disrespect, but I had
to also think of my mom and that this would
be easier. I also made it a point to tell
him that my mom isn't allowed to bring anyone either.
If Sharon wanted to celebrate our wedding, we could always
also do dinner another time. I thought letting them know
in advance, since the wedding isn't until fall of twenty
twenty four, he would hopefully take it well and still
(16:53):
want to show up. I was emotional, and afterward he
did hug me and told me that he would let
me know their decision, and I left feeling better.
Speaker 1 (17:01):
But things changed. On our way home. He called me.
Speaker 2 (17:05):
He asked if this was my decision, which I said
yes to. Then he told me that we could do
dinner another time, and essentially his answer was no, I
was upset, so we just set our goodbyes and that
was that.
Speaker 1 (17:17):
Edit.
Speaker 2 (17:18):
Some asked why I don't want Sharon there, and I
commented my explanation here it is she was part of
the reason my father left and no way do I
consider my mother the better parent and everything, but she
wanted to work and try. Sharon was my father's coworker.
When he left, he immediately moved in with her, and
if I am honest, my sisters and I have never
seen her as a stepmother, but more so as our
(17:40):
dad's girlfriend or wife.
Speaker 1 (17:42):
There's just no relationship there.
Speaker 2 (17:44):
I will admit I never fully tried, but I was
young when I was navigating everything, and I had no
idea how to handle it. There was also no effort
on her end that has led to where I am
today and my relationship with her and my father.
Speaker 1 (17:57):
No jerks here.
Speaker 2 (17:58):
You said boundaries, respected them, but ultimately decided to not attend.
You have every right to allow or disallow anyone you
want to your wedding, but he has the right to
decline your invite. It sounds like he both handled it
well and that he respects your decision. Honestly, when you
implied your dad was eager to start his new family
and that he became distant to you and was doing
(18:19):
more with his new step kids, I wondered why you'd
even invite him to your wedding at all. What a tool,
not the jerk, I think, Ultimately, no jerk's here. In
your dad's defense, your mom and him have been separated
for eight years now. Both should be able to be
cordial in a public setting. And let's be real, Sharon
isn't going anywhere. She'll be around for holidays, birth days,
(18:40):
celebrations and other things. It's not completely realistic to establish
a baseline where your dad's partner is not permitted at
big family moments. However, it does sound like your relationship
with your dad has been strained since the separation, and
that you too, have never found your way fully back together.
Nor does it sound like you and Sharon found some
shared ground. Makes sense why you may not want her
(19:01):
there sit and look pretty instead of doing actual work. Okay,
for the sake of clarity, I'm going to say I
work in an industry, which is similar to warehousing, same
logic in the grand scheme of things. In my branch
and several surrounding branches, there are only two staff members
to keep the place running, so we all have casual uniforms,
(19:22):
just a polo shirt and appropriate pants and footwear. I
mainly do administrative work, and I have a team member
who works in the back end of things, but I'm
capable and willing to jump outside when required of me.
Examples of me needing to work in the back would
be if we had a huge rush, or if I
need to send my teammate to help at another branch
or out on the road to collect stock, and I
have to fill in for him while he's gone. It's
(19:44):
a pretty good setup because working outside really breaks up
the monotony of being stuck at a desk all day,
and it's easy enough to do both parts of the
job when I need to. Some genius in head office
decided he wanted to change the uniform for any and
all admin staff to something a little more corporate in dressy.
I can only describe this uniform as a three piece
suit made with the heaviest fabrics known to man. Suddenly,
(20:07):
I've gone from wearing a polo shirt, which is comfortable
and easy to move around in, to wearing a white,
long sleeved business shirt with a vest, jacket and handkerchief,
complete with skirt stockings and slight heels. I straight up
looked like a flight attendant working in an industrial warehouse
and can barely lift my arms high enough to hold
my steering wheel on the drive to work. It was
(20:27):
a poorly designed uniform and I was so incredibly uncomfortable
wearing it. I was very quick to voice my anger.
I first mentioned how it's unfair, borderline cruel to expect
staff to wear such a thick and layered uniform when
we live in Australia, particularly in a place known for
our consistent high temperatures and harsh sun. I then asked
how I would be expected to leave the desk to
(20:49):
operate machinery and do heavy lifting in a suit, skirt
and heels. I was met with the promise that anyone
working in admin and wearing a corporate uniform would not
have to leave their desk to do any back end
work at all. I raised another concern, stating that we
did not have enough staff for them to make this
particular promise and still maintain our quality of work and
hit our deadlines, and was met with a strong guarantee
(21:11):
that I would not have to do any physical work
in my day to day operations. I was all but
ordered to sit at the desk to look appealing for
clients and never move from there. Okay, then no problem.
From that point onwards, I followed their instructions. I never
left my desk. There would suddenly be long wait times
for orders and fulfillments because my team member was on
(21:31):
the road on a job and there was no one
on site to continue his work until he got back.
If my team member called in sick, I would spend
the day pushing back deadlines with clients, which affected our
targets and our reputation. Funny enough, my teammate only started
getting sick because I had to have the office air
conditioning on freezing temperatures so I wouldn't get a heat
stroke at my desk. I was honest with clients who
(21:53):
had complaints and explained that I would usually step in
to help make sure their needs were met, but was
specifically instructed not to any more, and then redirected their
complaints through to customer service and head office. After a
few months of this, I was invited to a meeting
with three of my direct managers and an HR representative.
They were clearly upset about the drop in productivity an
(22:14):
amount of complaints we were receiving. I let them all
say their peace before reminding them I raised these concerns
to them months ago and was merely following instructions given
to me, which were abundantly clear that I was to
take care of admin work at my desk and do
nothing else. I let them know my hands were tied,
so all I could do was look pretty and playcate
clients when we inevitably couldn't meet their.
Speaker 1 (22:35):
Needs as promised.
Speaker 2 (22:36):
I suggested hiring more warehousing staff to fill in the
gaps left by the admin staff, who were now chained
to their desk by their uniform and unable to ease
the pressure of the workload like we used to. I
could see that comment definitely hit them right where I
wanted it to, and they couldn't argue with me for
following their instructions, so I was told they would get
back to me on a solution moving forward. Well, here
(22:57):
I am at work two weeks later, typing in this
post while wearing my old polo shirt uniform. I was
fully prepared to find another job if their solution wasn't reasonable,
And maybe I still will look to leave this place,
but I'll take the wind for now. Am I the
jerk for not telling her there was crawfish in the
PASTA context? I twenty nine female, live in South Louisiana.
(23:20):
All my family is from the area Mississippi and Texas.
Our family had a cookout on Sunday for my mom's
sixtieth birthday. It was at me and my husband's house.
We did a majority of the cooking. I made crawfish
Cajun fetcini and husband made potato salad. We also had
deviled eggs, cheese, and fruit plate, bootean and green beans
brought by others. It was about twenty two people over.
(23:44):
My brother, twenty six male, and his girlfriend Brittany, who's
twenty four, were there. Brittany is a transplant from Ohio.
She's been here for a little under two years. She's
been with my brother almost just as long. Brittany is
vocal about hating shellfish, especially crawfish and shrimp. She has
said that they are bugs and water roaches and they
gross her out. My family, especially my dad and uncles,
(24:06):
tease her about not liking shellfish, but it's not malicious.
At the cook out, I didn't see Brittany or my
brother until everyone settled. I saw Brittany was at a
table with an empty bowl. She told me she loved
the feticcini and ate two servings. I told her that
there was crawfish head fat and some other back straps
in it, so I was surprised she enjoyed it. My
(24:27):
uncle was at the table talking to my brother and
said some comment about how they'll make her a real
Southern girl. Yet Brittany immediately looked embarrassed and got very quiet.
I left her alone after that, as it seemed like
she didn't want to talk. My brother took me aside
later and said Brittany was upset and thought I purposely
tricked her into eating crawfish. I told him that wasn't true,
(24:48):
but he said I should have made it more obvious
about the fetticcini. I honestly didn't think to tell her.
I was very busy, so it wasn't at the front
of my mind. I wanted to talk to her, but
my brother said not to as she was already in
their car, and she and my brother left the cook
out early despite me trying to get them to stay.
I talk to my cousin about this. She thinks Britney
feels very othered and singled out. I get it, but
(25:12):
that's not the case here, and I feel like she
was being dramatic, especially since my brother left early on
our mom's birthday.
Speaker 1 (25:18):
Am I the jerk? No jerks here?
Speaker 2 (25:21):
I understand why you didn't tell her, But given how
much of a hard time she had been given about
the issue, I absolutely understand why she was upset. She
probably is now preparing herself to be pressured into eating
shellfish for the rest of the time.
Speaker 1 (25:33):
She knows your family people will.
Speaker 2 (25:35):
Be total jerks about it because they already have been
teasing people for their preferences. Is so rude, and now
that she's eaten it once, you know they will never
let off. You say, the teasing isn't malicious, but does
it make her uncomfortable? If yes, then they need to stop.
We aren't required to like the food people think we
need to like, and liking it in one dish doesn't
mean we're going to ever want to eat it again.
(25:57):
You know, they'll never let her forget this. We all
know these kinds of people, and they're awful I heard
for her. I'd be surprised if she ever comes to
a family dinner again, because she just doesn't want to
deal with the teasing.
Speaker 1 (26:08):
Oh no, being teased about not liking crawfish. The horror,
the horror. Oh. You know how it is these days, Karen.
Speaker 2 (26:16):
Some people's biggest problem in life is figuring out what
they're gonna watch on Netflix. Today new neighbors keep using
our pool without permission. Should I call the cops on them?
I'm thirty two female. My wife and I finally bought
our own home instead of renting. It. Took a lot
of work, but we did it, and it's a home
we both love and plan to spend the rest of
our lives in. It even has a pool, which is
(26:36):
just amazing and something I'd always wanted but never thought
i'd have. The issue is our next door neighbors. I
keep finding their kids using our pool, having hopped our fence,
and I keep getting them to leave. I've spoken to
their parents about this issue, and they've told me that
the elderly couple we bought the house from would let
them use the pool in exchange for cleaning it, so
they're just used to being able to use it. I
(26:58):
told them that was fine when it was the last neighbor,
but it's something my wife and I are not comfortable
with as we don't know them well enough. Plus if
they were to get hurt, we'd feel awful about it.
They insist that nobody would get hurt and asked if
it would be okay if they used it whenever we
weren't using it, as they're just kids, and spoke about
how it's getting hotter now. I was getting annoyed at
(27:18):
this point and told them they should get their own
pool then, and I'd already told them we weren't comfortable
with this. Ever since then, I've had to chase them
away a couple more times, and their parents are constantly
sending me dirty looks whenever they see me. I've since
posted a sign stating it's a private pool and can
only be used with permission. Am I really being unfair here? Yes,
it sucks that they had an arrangement with the last owners,
(27:41):
but it's our pool now.
Speaker 1 (27:43):
Not the jerk.
Speaker 2 (27:44):
You know, those parents would sue you into the next century.
If someone got hurt in your pool, you need to
have your pool totally fenced off with a locking gait.
I would also report the kids to the police as trespassing,
if only to put the parents on notice. OP should
tell the neighbors that next time they will call the cops,
and if they don't take the warning seriously, actually call
the cops. OP has already put signs up in everything,
(28:06):
and the law is on OP side.
Speaker 1 (28:09):
You are wrong.
Speaker 2 (28:10):
The law is not on op's side. A pool is
an attractive nuisance, and regardless of signs, fence, et cetera,
OP is liable. I had all this stuff, fence, alarm,
et cetera, and lost a lawsuit when a known neighborhood
nuisance hopped the fence, was drunk and ended up passing.
Am I the jerk for telling my daughter that I
can't compete with her stepmom and if she can't cope
(28:31):
with it, she should live there full time. Fifteen years ago,
I nineteen at the time, dated this guy, Mark, who
is twenty five. I got pregnant after a few months
with him. I wasn't ready for a kid, so I
gave Mark full custody of our daughter, Natalie who's now fourteen,
and I'd visit a couple of times a year. Marcus
from a good family and already had a great job
when we first met. He quickly climbed up the ladder
(28:53):
and was able to give Natalie a very privileged life.
When Natalie was two, he met Amy and they got
married when Natalie four. Natalie and Amy have always been
very close and Amy is very much involved in her life.
She's room mom, head of the PTA, she was the
soccer coach, the softball coach, head of the theater guild,
and found a way to be part of everything Natalie
(29:14):
was involved in. She also drives Natalie to school early
in the mornings so they could stop for breakfast first,
and she packs Natalie's lunch every day and not something
like peanut butter and jelly in a bag of chips.
She makes Natalie's steak or kish or lettuce wraps with
a side of salad, with homemade dressing, fresh fruit, and
homemade dessert. Natalie doesn't understand that the only reason Amy
(29:35):
is able to do all of this is because she
doesn't work and she doesn't have to do much around
the house. They have a cleaning service come multiple times
a week. I recently got an apartment close to Mark
in Amy's house, and I have Natalie one week out
of the month now. It was pretty hard for both
of us at first. Natalie had a hard time understanding
that we're not stopping for breakfast before school, and the
(29:55):
best thing she's going to get from me for lunch
as a turkey sandwich cookie from the grocery store I
work at, a bag of chips, and an apple. She
was also not used to the fact that she has
to clean up after herself. Natalie was here last week
and we were all ready not getting along because she
had an event at school that week that she told
Amy about and not me, because she refused to clean
her room, and because I found out she's been throwing
(30:17):
away the lunches I make for her and asking Amy
to bring her lunch since she started staying with me.
She had a sore throat on Wednesday, and I let
her stay home from school, then started to get ready
to leave for work. When I was about to leave,
she made a comment that Amy always stays home with
her when she doesn't feel well. I said, it's a
sore throat and she'll be fine, but she got an
attitude and said that I should try to be a
(30:39):
good mom like Amy. We ended up arguing and I
told her that I can't compete with Amy and that
if she can't handle that, she needs to go back
to her dad's house. So she called Amy to pick
her up, and I haven't heard from her sins. I
was supposed to take her out for dinner this Saturday,
but now she doesn't want to go. So I wanted
to know if I was the jerk. You're the jerk.
Your daughter may have your dear but you aren't her mother.
(31:01):
She's been through a dramatic change when you stepped back
into her life. Because of that, your expectations for this
relationship aren't realistic. She's fourteen and you literally abandon her
at birth. You have a golden opportunity to get to
know the young woman she's becoming, but you've turned this
situation into a competition between you and her mother. You
cannot blame her at all for not wanting to spend
time with you. I don't understand how OP turned it
(31:25):
into a competition. Given the example provided in the post,
what was she supposed to do miss work to stay
home with Amy and lose money and day off for
a non emergency just because our stepmother doesn't work and
could actually stay with Amy in such a situation because
she a is not employed, b doesn't rely on the
money from work, there was a no win for OP there.
(31:45):
The kid literally demands stuff OP can't provide, like breakfast
at cafes because she cannot afford it on a single income. Presumably,
your comment contains no actual advice of what she was
supposed to do, apart from generic do better edit.
Speaker 1 (32:00):
Just to clarify, there are different issues here.
Speaker 2 (32:02):
OP is not the jerk for the situation described in
the post, and that's what I refer to in this comment. However,
she appears to be the jerk for forcefully inserting herself
into the life of this teenager by fighting Natalie's parents
in court for custody instead of simply agreeing to visitation rights.
All this presumably in response to Amy wanting to adopt.
Speaker 1 (32:21):
Not the jerk. I think you need a full stop
and try to imagine how you'd feel if you were
your daughter.
Speaker 2 (32:27):
She's been given a very nice life by her father
and stepmom. You were rarely in the picture, and that's
when it suited you. Now you decided to become a mom,
and you think this human whom you birth should be
so happy to have you in her life.
Speaker 1 (32:39):
I wouldn't.
Speaker 2 (32:40):
I'd be upset if I had to leave the comfort
of my home to go stay with a stranger for
a week every month, simply because she decides to move
close enough that it's convenient for her. You've uprooted her.
You're not helping her to adapt. You expect her to
be happy year round, and you're mad because she isn't.
You pull her away from her comfort for an entire
week and take her to a place that's clearly less
(33:00):
than she's accustomed to, and you're mad because she's not happy.
She's fourteen. Fourteen year olds aren't happy anyway, and you're
giving her way more reasons to be unhappy.
Speaker 1 (33:10):
I demand you subscribe to our channel right now and dip.
Speaker 2 (33:13):
The bell for all notifications, and watch this video next,
the one that just popped up.
Speaker 1 (33:18):
You're going to love that one. We'll see you there.
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