January 31, 2025 • 32 mins
Karen Invites my Mom to Join the HOA... BIG Mistake! | Reddit Stories Podcast
Welcome to another episode of r/EntitledParents stories!
Here on the mr redder podcast we read stories about entitled people, entitled parents, and am i the jerk stories with Karen.
I'm a voice actor that narrates reddit stories. I record all of the VO and edit all videos myself. On this channel I play the roles of mr redder and Karen as we read reddit stories and discuss them. Story genres include entitled parents, revenge, malicious compliance, and AITA.
Our videos include music under a Creative Commons license (CC BY-SA 3.0) and background footage from Pexels, under the Pexels license. Every Saturday we release a longer compilation video which includes some of our best stories from last year. Subscribe for daily uploads!
😎 One of my favorite Karen Stories!
r/EntitledPeople - Smug Karen Demands I Pay Her Car Off! It Gets WORSE.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q30orqMRDto
mr redder podcast on Spotify - https://open.spotify.com/show/5ZVzMm0Pr3bwlM26VuVv8J
Karen and I can make a video for your special occasion! 👉 https://entitledparents.com/custom-message
Subscribe for the best stories from reddit every single day.
Background Footage: Pexels, under the Pexels license.
If you want your story removed from a video, please message me on Reddit at u/mr_reddit_YT and I will remove it.
#karenstories #redditpodcast #redditpodcaststories
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/reddit-stories-podcast-mr-redder--5571651/support.
Welcome to another episode of r/EntitledParents stories!
Here on the mr redder podcast we read stories about entitled people, entitled parents, and am i the jerk stories with Karen.
I'm a voice actor that narrates reddit stories. I record all of the VO and edit all videos myself. On this channel I play the roles of mr redder and Karen as we read reddit stories and discuss them. Story genres include entitled parents, revenge, malicious compliance, and AITA.
Our videos include music under a Creative Commons license (CC BY-SA 3.0) and background footage from Pexels, under the Pexels license. Every Saturday we release a longer compilation video which includes some of our best stories from last year. Subscribe for daily uploads!
😎 One of my favorite Karen Stories!
r/EntitledPeople - Smug Karen Demands I Pay Her Car Off! It Gets WORSE.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q30orqMRDto
mr redder podcast on Spotify - https://open.spotify.com/show/5ZVzMm0Pr3bwlM26VuVv8J
Karen and I can make a video for your special occasion! 👉 https://entitledparents.com/custom-message
Subscribe for the best stories from reddit every single day.
Background Footage: Pexels, under the Pexels license.
If you want your story removed from a video, please message me on Reddit at u/mr_reddit_YT and I will remove it.
#karenstories #redditpodcast #redditpodcaststories
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/reddit-stories-podcast-mr-redder--5571651/support.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey there, mister Redder here, welcome back to another episode
of our slash and titled People's Stories Our first story
we'll be reading today. Mom takes down the hoa from
the inside. After that, am I the jerk for not
letting my sister in law wear my wedding dress to
her prom? And after that, am I the jerk for
telling this stepfather who raised me that he's not my dad? Now,
(00:21):
for every thumbs up this video gets one, Karen gets
kicked out of the hoa. I'd like to see you
dry it it, boy, so please smash that like button
and subscribe and turn on notifications for news stories from
Reddit every single day. Mom takes down the hoa from
the inside. My neighborhood does not have an hoa, at
least not anymore. When my parents first moved in, my
(00:43):
older sibling was maybe two years old and I was
a little glow worm, there was an hoa back then.
They took money from the neighborhood in exchange for their services.
At first, and for quite a while, my parents just
kind of shrugged it off. The hoa shoveled the snow
off the streets in the winter, and dealt with trash
collect so they were doing something worthwhile, right ha. No,
(01:04):
the city controlled the snowplows in the garbage trucks, not
the HOA. But still there was the illusion of effort.
And besides, one summer they decided to contact a company
to plant new trees all over the neighborhood. The fact
that the company was owned by the son of the
head of the HOA was totally coincidental. The trees were
the beginning of the end for the HOA. Why well,
(01:26):
my grandma on my dad's side, was visiting when they
came around to plant the trees. My grandma, who is
a certified master gardener, and so she stared through the
windows of our house as the guys planting the trees
just dropped the saplings on the grass, still with their
roots inside the bag. They came in. No holes, dug,
no holes cut, just a bagged sapling lying on the
(01:47):
grass like a pathetic and sad stick. The saplings lay
there all night. No one came back to actually do
their job and plant them. My master gardener grandma mentioned
offhand that those saplings weren't going to make it unless
they got in the soil, and something clicked in my
Mom's head. She was paying the HOA money, actual money
(02:07):
every month while both she and my dad worked taking
care of two kids, sending us to daycare in preschool
and arranging babysitters and feeding us. And the HOA was
just going to pull this crap instead of doing what
she's paying them for. No, no way. So she showed
up to the head of the hoa's house and basically
demanded that the trees be planted properly like she's apparently
(02:29):
paying them for. The head of the HOA. So excited
for someone actually caring about the neighborhood made their second mistake.
They asked if Mom wanted to join the HOA. She agreed,
the trees were planted, but most didn't make it. My
grandma was right. First things. First, Mom showed up to
the next HOA meeting. There were like five people there,
(02:50):
no wonder they asked Mom to join. They desperately needed
the people some Mom looked at the collection of people
who weren't even paying money to the HOA. Like the
rest of the neighborhood. All the contractors the HOA called
in were close relatives of other HOA members and weren't
paid by the HOA after all their family. So my
mom started digging. She spent pretty much a full summer
(03:13):
taking down the HOA before she had to go back
to teaching in the fall, with me carted along after
her and my sibling old enough to be in school
or daycare. She dug through the years of paperwork detailing
the hoa's financial situation, and she found something extremely enlightening.
The HOA didn't actually do anything well, they didn't do
anything to benefit the community. Everything they claimed to do
(03:36):
was either covered by the individual homeowner or by the
city itself, So they were collecting money from all the
neighborhood residents under false pretenses. And actually they weren't even
supposed to be in our neighborhood. Their association's zone was
a whole different neighborhood. So what is a working mother
of two kids to do while her husband is off
at work and she's off for the summer. She goes
(03:58):
door to do heur with pamphlets, my sibling and a
stroller as she weaves her way through the neighborhood blocks
pamphlets explaining the situation and how to stop paying for services.
You'll never get pamphlets that are of course written in
both English and Spanish, and naturally she got a lawyer
and an accountant. It put a major dent in her pocket,
but if it meant the entire neighborhood wasn't exploited for
(04:20):
money each month, it was worth every penny. Another HOA
member helped her sift through the documents and data and
pass out pamphlets and encourage people to show up to
the meetings, but had to back out because of work
related reasons. My mom rolled up to the courthouse flanked
by the lawyer and accountant, her kids safe at home
with her husband, and had more than enough evidence to
get the HOA kicked out of our neighborhood, expose the
(04:43):
fraudsters for the frauds they were, and make sure that
no HOA would ever push their luck in our neighborhood.
It's been almost nineteen years now and no one's even
tried making another HOA in our neighborhood. Am I the
jerk for not letting my sister in law wear my
wedding dressed to prom I twenty five female, got married
to my husband twenty four male a year ago. He
(05:04):
has a sister who's sixteen. I went a little non
traditional with my dress. I got a big, light yellow
dress and a beautiful top with lace. The dress was
gorgeous and of course very expensive. This was definitely my
dream dress. His family isn't particularly well off, but they're
certainly not poor lower income. So when they told me
at a family dinner that they were having trouble finding
(05:25):
an affordable dress for her, I was a little surprised,
but I gave suggestions, like looking on eBay, Goodwill's website,
et cetera. In my younger days, I did pageants and
we always resold the dress after at a good discount.
They told me they looked but didn't find anything they like.
I told them I hope the dress would come up soon.
Two weeks passed and we get invited to dinner again
(05:47):
at their house. We show up and immediately his sister
starts moping. I assumed she had a bad day at
school and sit down to eat. Then my mother in
law explained to me she was upset because prom was
in three days and she still had no dress. I
expressed my condolences and told her that I could maybe
help her have some last looks around. That's when mother
in law said, oh, I have an idea, Oh Pie,
(06:11):
why don't you let sister in law weigh your yellow dress?
I could probably get it tailored in time. My sister
in law immediately perked up, and I felt like I
was ambushed. I looked to my husband, but he just shrugged.
I politely told them I was sorry, but the dress
was very special to me, and also sister in law
and I are quite different sizes. It would fall off
of her. Mother in law then told me she knows
(06:33):
a wonderful seamstress who could make it fit, which really
upset me. I asked her, what if I ever want
to try it on again? It wouldn't fit me. Even
if I lost weight. I would never fit in a
dress tailor to fit her. Sister in law ended up
busting into tears. I'm not sure if it was because
of me saying no or me talking about our bodies.
My husband and I ended up leaving early. He was
(06:55):
very upset with me for not sharing the dress, but said,
ultimately it was my decision. His family, on the other hand,
was livid with me. They went radio silent until I
saw a post of sister in law on Facebook and
a beautiful blue dress. I commented, saying I'm glad she
got a dress, she looked great, and I hope that
she had a good time, And I got a comment
back asking me for my portion of the dress. They're
(07:17):
now saying my husband and I are responsible for either
reselling the dress or getting them half back since I
have experience with that, or help pay for half. I
told them that was ridiculous, but my husband told me
to just do it. I told him I'm not going
to be pushed over, and he ended up leaving for
three days to his mom's. Now I'm no longer invited
to family dinners or functions, and they only have nasty
(07:39):
things to say about me, saying I almost ruined her
prom night. Am I the jerk? Should I have just
let her wear my dress or at the very least
help them sell it At this point, since my husband
isn't even on my side, I don't know. EDIT try
to talk to mother in law after getting some confidence
from these comments. Basically she brushed it all off, still
demand did I do what she did? Told me to
(08:00):
to either sell it or help pay for it, because
I'm family and that's what family does, but also said
she would have looked much better in it than I did,
and that I just didn't let her have the dress
out of jealousy. I'm honestly speechless right now, not the
jerk at all. Even if it wasn't your wedding dress,
it's still your dress, and you have no obligation to
even loan it out, much less give it away permanently.
(08:24):
It makes sense to feel weird because no one is
on your side, but it's only this one sided because
it's entirely his family and they clearly have issues. If
his solution to them being upset is just give them
what they want, and his solution to himself being upset
is run away to moms for three days, these are
some serious red flags and you might reconsider your future
plans with this dude. Exactly. They are super entitled and
(08:48):
set this up from the beginning. To expect someone to
give you their items simply because you want it is absurd.
That your husband doesn't stand up for you is also
absurd staying with Mommy dearest and giving you the silent
treatment until you give into their bullying. OPI, you've only
wasted a year on this mama's boy in his ridiculous family.
I'd cut your losses now, rather than looking back in
(09:09):
ten years and knowing this was the first sign that
you should have run. Well, what would you do in
this situation? Would you let sister in law borrow your
dress or not? Please let us know. Never stay with
someone who's too weak to stick up for you when
it comes to their entitled family. Am I the jerk
for telling the stepfather who raised me that he's not
my dad? My mom married my stepfather when I was one.
(09:30):
He had a one year old son, and then they
had a daughter a year later together. My stepbrother and
I are sixteen now, and our half sister is fourteen.
Stepfather is the only father figure I know, and I've
always called him dad. My actual dad is not in
my life. Growing up, I always noticed that he treated
me differently. He never mistreated me, but he was always
more interested in his own kids than me. In fact,
(09:53):
he always showed very little interest in me. I've always
felt like a second class family member. My mom treats
my stepbrother exactly like me, but my stepfather doesn't do
the same for me anyway. This last couple of years
have been difficult because stepfather started doing stuff with my siblings,
like going on trips going fishing or hiking bonding moments,
as he calls it, and he's never taken me with them,
(10:15):
despite me asking to go. Initially, he always said maybe
next time, until I called him out last week and
he took me aside and explained that this is for
him and his kids. I'm not his kid like they are.
He said. He loves me, but it's different. He can't
dilute the experience by bringing me as well. But he
said my mom can spend bonding moments with me and
my sister if she wants to as well, and that
(10:36):
it would be good for us to have that only
for us. This conversation happened on Friday before they went
off for a weekend trip. My mom told me that
this is how he feels. She can't change it, but
she's made sure I'm always treated equally when it comes
to money, which is true, but she can't change the
way he feels, so I need to accept it. I've
been thinking all weekend, and it was clear to me
(10:57):
that when he doesn't see me as his son, it's
wrong of me to see him as my dad. So
I decided that if I'm this step kid, he tolerates
because of my mom. I'm not going to pretend like
we're anything more. I decided to stop calling him dad
and go by his first name. So on Sunday night,
after they returned, I said Hi Tom. He was surprised,
but didn't say anything. At dinner, he asked me what
(11:18):
that was about, and I explained that I don't want
to dilute the experience he has with his real kids
by calling him dad when clearly I'm not his son.
It's something that should be kept for his actual kids.
I was told to go to my room by my mom.
Later she came to me and said this has hurt
him and I should apologize. I said, I'm just following
his lead and treating him exactly like how he wants
(11:40):
to be treated by his actions, and if he's hurt,
then he should look in the mirror because that's his actions.
My mom told me in the end that this is
the man who raised me all my life, and I
need to apologize and show remorse. She says, he's ninety
five percent of the way for being a dad to me.
I shouldn't ignore all of that and focus on the
missing five percent and reject him entirely. I declined, said,
(12:01):
he's the one who needs to apologize if he wants
things to change between us. Am I being the jerk
in this situation, not the jerk, and well done for
sticking up for yourself. If he doesn't want to be
your dad fully with no strings attached, then he doesn't
deserve the respect of being called dad. Your mom is
a jerk. You give your all with kids or nothing.
He isn't giving you ninety five percent and has let
(12:23):
you know where you stand with him, so it's only
fair he knows that respect works both ways. I'm sorry
you're dealing with this. You deserve a dad step or
otherwise who views you as their own and treats you
as such. The blood of the covenant is thicker than
the water of the womb. I would totally follow your
current path and respond with your mom's words back to him.
You'll be sure to always treat him politely, but she
(12:46):
can't change your feelings on the issue, and she and
him will just have to accept it. Either the way
you feel is fair and each of you need to
live with a dynamic created or your behavior needs to
reflect what's fair and right despite your deeper feelings, and
I tell her and him that you'll be following his
lead on how this relationship is going to work. Not
the jerk. You're a smart kid. As long as you
(13:07):
stay calm and respectful, you're totally in the right and
how you're doing this. Also, the fact that your mom
told you she makes sure things are kept equal financially
tells me she actually has to intervene on your behalf
to have that happen. If your mom keeps pushing you,
I would very calmly reply by saying, I understand why
it bothers you to see his feelings hurt, but I
wonder if you've given any thoughts to how it makes
(13:29):
you feel when you see my feelings hurt and why
your response to those things is different. Not the jerk.
Both your mother and Tom are the jerks. Explain to
your mother that this is not just how Tom feels,
this is how he acts. If he were a true dad,
then he would have the same bonding experiences with you
as the others. By letting Tom treat you like this,
she's also treating you badly. I'm sure you're going to
(13:52):
get a lot of support. Show her this thread and
suggest therapy so that she truly understands how damaging this
situation is for you, and how she is a horrible
mother for letting this occur. Well, who do you think
is the jerk? OPI or Tom? Please let us know.
I always knew Tom was a jerk. Remember how it'd
always chased Jerry. Am I the jerk for refusing to
return a bag that I bought with my money? I
(14:14):
nineteen female, work at a thrift store three days a week.
It's quite a big one and a lot of people
in my area come and shop there. Every product is
labeled in accordance to a color coded system, and the
color changes every week. Furthermore, there is section in the
store that sells the more expensive donations, mostly brands. These
products are usually sold at a higher price. I'm a
(14:35):
very low level employee, and my job is to place
the products on the shelves and on the poles. Because
of that, I see what is about to be sold
in advance. However, I can't buy anything that's labeled with
the color of the week. So, for example, if this
week's color is red, I have to wait until the
next week to buy anything with the label in red.
Now I usually work on weekends plus a random day
(14:57):
of the week two weeks ago. It fell on a Tuesday,
that meant that we had just started a new color yellow.
As I was putting bags on the shelf, I realized
that one of them was from a very expensive fashion brand.
At first glance, you wouldn't be able to recognize it,
but because I spend too much time on Pinterest, I
immediately started panicking This bag that usually retails for a
(15:18):
few thousand for sale at a thrift store for twelve
ninety nine, I was going to feint. Unfortunately for me,
because it was labeled in yellow, I couldn't have it.
Because it's not the first time this sort of thing happens.
I calmed down, put the bag back in its place,
and continued my job. As I was going on with
my day, I kept going back to the same section,
praying that no one had taken it. At the end
(15:40):
of my shift, I saw that it was still there,
and I decided that if no one had bought it,
I would. Four days later, I came back to start
my day and I see that the bag is still there,
but it was now further back on the shelf behind
some other ones. I don't touch anything. I kept doing
my job did the same on Sunday. Last Monday, I
woke up and went there to shop. As soon as
(16:01):
I entered the store, I went to the bag section
and took the bag bline to check out and bought it.
I was so excited. I guess some of my excitement
was showing because my coworker asked me why I was smiling.
Me and this coworker usually get along well, and I
explained to her the situation. She smiled and told me
that she was happy for me. Last Saturday, while on
my shift, my boss called me into his office to talk.
(16:25):
He was with one of my managers, and they went
on to tell me that I had acted inappropriately by
not notifying them of the price of the bag. They
asked that I return it so that they would put
it back on sale, this time at a much higher price.
I told them no because I followed the policy. They
weren't happy, but they couldn't force me. Yesterday, when I
got to work, my coworkers kept on making remarks and
(16:47):
my managers had this unhappy look on their faces. I
explained the story to my friend and she said that
even if it's my bag, it's not fair that I
kept the information for myself, so read it. Am I
the jerk? Not? The policy was followed. Not your fault.
They didn't check it properly. I worked at a thrift
store with a similar system, and OP is definitely not
(17:08):
the jerk. We know we have to wait to give
customers a chance, and she did. It's the responsibility of
the pricers to look this stuff up. They aren't even
upset about the customers not getting a chance from the
sounds of it, They're just upset they didn't charge more,
which makes no sense. If Op was the only one
wanting it for thirteen dollars, why is anyone gonna buy
it for more? Not the jerk OP. They're just being greedy. Well,
(17:31):
who do you think is the jerk? OP or her boss?
Please let us know a lesson to be learned. Me
as friendly as you want with your coworkers, but never
ever trust them. Only help the people that actually come
to church. No problem. Background. I'm a pastor at a
small church in the southeast United States. We have a
Benevolence fund that church members contribute to, and it's designated
(17:53):
to help people in need, such as help with power bills,
water bills, rent, et cetera. At the time this took place,
we had about six thousand dollars in that fund, and
we had about as much money coming in as we
had going out, so the amount was more or less
staying steady over a period of several months. The elder
who was in charge of declaring who got help and
who didn't, somehow got the idea that we were going
(18:14):
to run out of this fund if we were not careful.
Not likely. Therefore, he came to me and said, Pastor,
I think we need to restrict our benevolence help to
those that physically come to the church, not just those
that call in via the telephone. He and I debated
this back and forth. There was no issue about people
calling in being less likely to be legitimate cases. He
(18:35):
was just simply trying to reduce expenditures. His line of
reasoning was that at some point one of our members
might need some help for something big, and we needed
to make sure that we had plenty of money on
hand if and when they needed it. My position was
that one this money was given with the expectation that
we use it to help as many people as possible
and not just sit on most of it. And two
(18:56):
we had a really long waist to go before we
spent so much that we didn't have any left in reserve.
I acquiesced to his suggestion. However, when people started calling
in saying that they needed help with something, I told them, Okay,
here's what I need you to do. Bring your bill
in a photo ID to the church between such and
such hours and someone will at least talk to you.
I can't promise anything more than that, but someone will
(19:19):
at least sit down with you. Never had a single
one object to coming in, and they would usually show
up shortly thereafter. The church secretary, who agreed with me
on this one, overheard me telling this to someone and
started laughing, knowing exactly what I was doing. A few
weeks later, the elder mentioned to me, you know, we're
getting a lot more people coming directly to the church
(19:39):
instead of calling in. Word must have gotten out about
how we are doing this. I just replied, Yep, it
must have, and then I would just smile and move on.
The elder passed on about four years ago, and I
don't think he ever clued in as to what I
was doing. Am I the jerk for refusing to let
my future baby half sibling live in the same room
as me. I'm seventeen female, and my mom and stepfather
(20:02):
recently got pregnant. My family is kind of confusing, so
to sum it up, my older half brother nineteen, he's
my stepfather and my mom's kid, and I'm my mom
and my dad's kid. We live in a three bedroom house,
the master suite, my brother's bedroom, and my bedroom. We
also have a basement with a bathroom. When I found
out my parents were pregnant, one of their first requests
(20:23):
was that the baby share my room. I immediately declined
because they wanted a newborn not to sleep in their
room but in mine. While I was finishing my last
year of high school and preparing for college, I said no,
and the baby should sleep in their room, and when
it was old enough to have its own room, I
will already have moved out. One of my friends is
kind of rich and her parents are going to buy
her an apartment for college, and she told me that
(20:45):
I could stay there for cheap. They got really mad
at me and told me how much stress they would
have after having the baby. Now. I understand pregnancy is
hard and all, but I really don't want to have
to listen to a baby crying have them run into
my room when I'm sleeping doing homework. C I told
them that I thought it would be easier if the
baby stayed in their room or if I moved to
the basement, but that would be a little annoying, as
(21:07):
our basement isn't really room fit, like I don't know
how to describe it, but I wouldn't want to live there.
I understand I might be a little rude because my
parents won't have their baby till February. They're like two
months pregnant or something. I don't know. They just said
the due date is in February, but I feel like
that's going to be an incredibly stressful time, even for
just the fouriest months I'm staying here, you know, with
(21:28):
the school ending, college entrance exams, waiting to see if
I got in, et cetera, all the works. And on
a more personal note, I can't stand babies. They weired
me out. I'm thinking I could be in the wrong
because their room is more cluttered than mine and they
could have a problem making space, and my parents have
their ideas, you know, so I could just be biased.
So am I in the wrong, not the jerk. Babies
(21:51):
cry a lot in the night and it's not your responsibility.
You will not be able to sleep the whole night
if the baby moves into your room. Stressful for the
actual parents to have their baby in their room, but
it's fine if they make the daughter have the baby
in their room. Wow, not the jerk. It's their kid.
And if they don't want to deal with a newborn
baby crying at night, they shouldn't have had another baby,
(22:13):
not expect their daughter to do it for them. Also,
how is your older brother your stepfather's kid? Did your
mom and stepfather break up for a bit your mom
had you and then your mom and stepfather got back together.
OPI My mother cheated on my father with my stepfather
and then hid my brother from him for two years,
and then when she was pregnant with me, she thought
(22:33):
it was my stepfather's kid, so she broke up with
my dad and married my stepfather. But then paternity test
and all showed that I was my dad's kid. Am
I the jerk for refusing to let my boyfriend have
my bank account info to make a purchase? I female
thirty one, have been with my boyfriend mail thirty seven
for eight months. He has three kids and he's a
single dad. We're on pretty good terms regarding almost everything.
(22:57):
When it comes to money and spending. We'd take turns
to invite each other out weekly. We don't live together, obviously.
Several times he had me pay for his kids' purchases.
I didn't make a big issue out of it for
the sole reason that these purchases were relatively small. All
I had to pay was thirty to sixty dollars. The
other day, he called me while I was at work
and sounded like he was in a hurry. He said
(23:18):
he'd just found the gaming device he's been looking for
for so long and wanted to buy it for his
oldest son. I asked what's this have to do with me,
and he told me he was short on money and
needed three hundred dollars. He asked me to lend him
the three hundred and I hesitated but agreed. He asked
for my bank account info so he could pull the money,
but I refused and told him to wait for me
(23:39):
until I get there. He insisted and said he would
handle it. All I had to do was just send
him my bank account info after I end the call
with them. His insistence made me uncomfortable, so I still
said no and told him to either wait or I
won't pay. He got mad at me, saying he didn't
get why I was acting like this. He got so
loud I had to hang up. I found him sitting
(23:59):
outside after I got home. He was waiting for me
and was extremely upset. He asked why I didn't just
send him the account info so he could pull the
money we agreed on. I told him I don't feel
comfortable letting anyone have my personal info, especially when it
comes to finances. He got offended and said I'm not
just anyone. I'm your partner. Then went on a rant
(24:20):
about how he ended up not buying the gaming device
after looking forward for so long, and now his kid
is mad at him and it's my fault. We had
a fight. Then he left and told me i'd better
have an apology for him and his son next time
I call his phone. I haven't called yet, but I
feel like I acted stupidly and irrationally. I think I
should have just given him the info he asked for.
(24:41):
I don't know if I made the right decision. Oh no,
you've been with him for only eight months and he's
already demanding that you lend him money and give him
your bank account info. Sounds to me like those small
purchases he got you to do for his kid's stuff
were his way of softening you up so he could
later on request a big purchase and you'd be used
to it, wouldn't hesitate you didn't act irrationally he did.
(25:03):
If he can't afford it, he needs to wait until
he can. I wouldn't give my own mother my bank
account details, and she wouldn't ask either, let alone a
partner I've been with for less than a year. A
year is where the honeymoon period starts to wear off,
where the person starts revealing their true colors and all
their flaws. If he's acting like this at eight months,
during the period where he's still showing you his best side,
(25:25):
what's he going to be like in a year from now?
What's he going to be demanding? Then? What's he going
to be telling you that you need to buy right now?
So again, no, he should be apologizing to you. He
acted appallingly. Not the jerk, Not the jerk. This has
red flags written all over it. The request to pay
for his kids. Red flag. Demanding money, red flag. The
(25:47):
demand for your account info red flag. The anger when
you told him no, demanding for an apology, the waiting
outside your house, the gas lighting only eight months into
the relationship, asking for money with Zel, then Mo, etc.
There's no need to give anyone your account infall. Please
do not do this. That's how people get all of
their money stolen. You don't owe him anything. If you
(26:09):
gave him the money, you may never see it again,
or the request will get bigger. Three hundred dollars for
a game is not an emergency. Rethink this relationship. It
will only get worse. Dear Tyler. For context, I work
out a pizzeria that uses a coal brick oven. It
has to be stoked, and sometimes mistakes happen. Your fiance
(26:29):
made me cry. You're the first table that has actually
made me cry in the seven months i've been serving.
Albeit I'm exhausted from the summertime tourism rush and all
the doubles. But when you sat down, I literally told
you it was going to take about an hour for
your food to get out because the oven was colder
than usual and our kitchen was working their tails off.
But they couldn't compensate for the floor load in addition
(26:50):
to the oven ten. I thank to you for letting
me know that you were seeing a movie after dinner,
because that let me know how I should serve you.
When about forty five minutes past and your feetonce started
being rude to me, I apologized. You claim to have
been there longer than you were. You all do know
we can look at the computer to see the seating times.
Right when you decided to walk out. I don't know
(27:11):
what you said to my manager, but he also almost cried,
and I've never seen him like that before. You hogged
my table for an hour after coming in, pretending the
wait time was okay with you, and tipped me zero
dollars when somebody else could have been sitting at that
table and joined themselves. You left such an impression on
me that I remembered enough details about you to find
you on Facebook in two seconds. Let me just say,
(27:33):
your and your fiance's memes and posts about respect and
likability do not reflect on your behavior last night. You
never know who you're going to interact with, and you're lucky.
I'm a civilized human being who's going to leave it
at an anonymous Reddit post. Just be aware of your
presence and behavior in this world going forward. I could
have been a monster. I hope you're ashamed. I'm exhausted
(27:54):
and giving everybody my one hundred percent even when I'm
only at twenty percent capacity. Hellow coal brick oven, pizza
rea employee here. Stoking is essential, but most guests do
not understand. Most of our bad reviews on Yelp are
people who come in during stoking and told pizzas will
take about an hour, and then leave a review saying
we turn them away because we shut down our ovens,
(28:16):
wondering why we would do that in the middle of
the day. Our hosts are trained to let everyone who
walks through the door during stoke know what the stoking
process is and how long it will take. Some guests
decide they don't want to wait and leave. Fine, cool,
That's why we let you know so that you can
make that decision. However, some guests decide to sit down
anyway after being warned about stoking. That's when I come up. Hi, folks, welcome.
(28:39):
Did the host let you know about stoking them every time? No?
What's that? I feel your pain and these people suck.
They most likely weren't paying attention when they were told
about stoking, and then they got upset when they finally
realized what was going on. The stoking process takes time
and has to be done. It consists of knocking down
any old coal and ash inside our ovens. We then
(29:01):
rebuild the fire, clean and reset. Next, the oven is
reheated to the perfect temperature to craft amazing pizzas. Am
I the jerk for not tattooing my step son's name
on my arm with my kid's names. I'm thirty six male.
My wife is thirty five. I have two kids for
my first marriage, who are nine and seven. I've been
married to my wife for four years. We have a
(29:21):
one year old together. She has an eight year old
son from her first marriage. The kids all live with us.
My kid's mother has visitation one week and a month.
Her son's dad isn't involved at all. I have the
names of my oldest two kids tattooed on my arm.
I just recently added the name of my youngest daughter.
My wife and I were talking about the tattoo and
she asked me if I'll tattoo my stepson's name in
(29:43):
the same round as our daughters. I told her I
have no intention of tattooing his name. She was shocked
and asked me why. I said, I only have the
names of my kid's tattooed. She said, I am excluding
her son, and he's part of this family too. I
refuse to tattoo his name and proceeded to a only
tattoo my daughter's name. Wife called me all sorts of things.
(30:03):
Am I the jerk? You're the jerk. You've been a
father figure to him for half his life. The poor
kid will probably be shattered when he realizes you don't
actually see him as yours. One thousand times this the
kid looks up to you as a father. He's going
to be so hurt when he realizes you don't feel
the same way. If OP hasn't adopted the kid, then
(30:24):
he has no rights if they divorce. Tattooing a stepkid's
name is not the same as tattooing a biological kid's name.
You're the jerk. Look, no one gets to dictate what
you put on your body, but you made it incredibly
clear to your step son where he stands in this
family on the outside, and right now he's eight and
he's not going to notice, but when he gets older,
he will, and you're going to have to tell him why.
(30:46):
You have also sent a clear message to your wife
where her kid stands in this family. Don't get upset
when she makes sure to prioritize your step son over
your older kids, because you made it clear the dynamics
you expected. So what happens when and if they divorce?
Dude is just going to have his ex's kids name
tattooed on him? He's not the jerk. People are asking
(31:06):
for too much from him, like, of course he's going
to favor his biological kids more than his stepkids. Maybe
later down the road, if he stays in the relationship
and raises the kid, then it would make sense, but
right now, no, I think definitely not the jerk. And
I say this because I've known people that did get
their step kids' names tattooed on them. Guess what happened.
The marriage didn't work out and the actual parents refused
(31:29):
any contact for the stepkids. Not saying that this will
happen to op, but for me, this is the equivalent
of tattooing your significant other's name on you. You just
don't do it. I will say that a nice alternative
is to make the step son feel included, would be
to get a tattoo that doesn't have his name but
represents him somehow. Then he's included without having his name,
and it's different from the others, so it would be
(31:51):
even more special. Well, who do you think is the
jerk OPI or his wife? Please let us know I've
been thinking about getting a teardrop tattoo myself, Skirtchkerr. Support
our channel by joining as a member to day and
we'll give you a shout out in our next video.
Or come watch this video next. You won't believe what
Karen does in that one.
Hey there, mister Redder here, welcome back to another episode
of our slash and titled People's Stories Our first story
we'll be reading today. Mom takes down the hoa from
the inside. After that, am I the jerk for not
letting my sister in law wear my wedding dress to
her prom? And after that, am I the jerk for
telling this stepfather who raised me that he's not my dad? Now,
(00:21):
for every thumbs up this video gets one, Karen gets
kicked out of the hoa. I'd like to see you
dry it it, boy, so please smash that like button
and subscribe and turn on notifications for news stories from
Reddit every single day. Mom takes down the hoa from
the inside. My neighborhood does not have an hoa, at
least not anymore. When my parents first moved in, my
(00:43):
older sibling was maybe two years old and I was
a little glow worm, there was an hoa back then.
They took money from the neighborhood in exchange for their services.
At first, and for quite a while, my parents just
kind of shrugged it off. The hoa shoveled the snow
off the streets in the winter, and dealt with trash
collect so they were doing something worthwhile, right ha. No,
(01:04):
the city controlled the snowplows in the garbage trucks, not
the HOA. But still there was the illusion of effort.
And besides, one summer they decided to contact a company
to plant new trees all over the neighborhood. The fact
that the company was owned by the son of the
head of the HOA was totally coincidental. The trees were
the beginning of the end for the HOA. Why well,
(01:26):
my grandma on my dad's side, was visiting when they
came around to plant the trees. My grandma, who is
a certified master gardener, and so she stared through the
windows of our house as the guys planting the trees
just dropped the saplings on the grass, still with their
roots inside the bag. They came in. No holes, dug,
no holes cut, just a bagged sapling lying on the
(01:47):
grass like a pathetic and sad stick. The saplings lay
there all night. No one came back to actually do
their job and plant them. My master gardener grandma mentioned
offhand that those saplings weren't going to make it unless
they got in the soil, and something clicked in my
Mom's head. She was paying the HOA money, actual money
(02:07):
every month while both she and my dad worked taking
care of two kids, sending us to daycare in preschool
and arranging babysitters and feeding us. And the HOA was
just going to pull this crap instead of doing what
she's paying them for. No, no way. So she showed
up to the head of the hoa's house and basically
demanded that the trees be planted properly like she's apparently
(02:29):
paying them for. The head of the HOA. So excited
for someone actually caring about the neighborhood made their second mistake.
They asked if Mom wanted to join the HOA. She agreed,
the trees were planted, but most didn't make it. My
grandma was right. First things. First, Mom showed up to
the next HOA meeting. There were like five people there,
(02:50):
no wonder they asked Mom to join. They desperately needed
the people some Mom looked at the collection of people
who weren't even paying money to the HOA. Like the
rest of the neighborhood. All the contractors the HOA called
in were close relatives of other HOA members and weren't
paid by the HOA after all their family. So my
mom started digging. She spent pretty much a full summer
(03:13):
taking down the HOA before she had to go back
to teaching in the fall, with me carted along after
her and my sibling old enough to be in school
or daycare. She dug through the years of paperwork detailing
the hoa's financial situation, and she found something extremely enlightening.
The HOA didn't actually do anything well, they didn't do
anything to benefit the community. Everything they claimed to do
(03:36):
was either covered by the individual homeowner or by the
city itself, So they were collecting money from all the
neighborhood residents under false pretenses. And actually they weren't even
supposed to be in our neighborhood. Their association's zone was
a whole different neighborhood. So what is a working mother
of two kids to do while her husband is off
at work and she's off for the summer. She goes
(03:58):
door to do heur with pamphlets, my sibling and a
stroller as she weaves her way through the neighborhood blocks
pamphlets explaining the situation and how to stop paying for services.
You'll never get pamphlets that are of course written in
both English and Spanish, and naturally she got a lawyer
and an accountant. It put a major dent in her pocket,
but if it meant the entire neighborhood wasn't exploited for
(04:20):
money each month, it was worth every penny. Another HOA
member helped her sift through the documents and data and
pass out pamphlets and encourage people to show up to
the meetings, but had to back out because of work
related reasons. My mom rolled up to the courthouse flanked
by the lawyer and accountant, her kids safe at home
with her husband, and had more than enough evidence to
get the HOA kicked out of our neighborhood, expose the
(04:43):
fraudsters for the frauds they were, and make sure that
no HOA would ever push their luck in our neighborhood.
It's been almost nineteen years now and no one's even
tried making another HOA in our neighborhood. Am I the
jerk for not letting my sister in law wear my
wedding dressed to prom I twenty five female, got married
to my husband twenty four male a year ago. He
(05:04):
has a sister who's sixteen. I went a little non
traditional with my dress. I got a big, light yellow
dress and a beautiful top with lace. The dress was
gorgeous and of course very expensive. This was definitely my
dream dress. His family isn't particularly well off, but they're
certainly not poor lower income. So when they told me
at a family dinner that they were having trouble finding
(05:25):
an affordable dress for her, I was a little surprised,
but I gave suggestions, like looking on eBay, Goodwill's website,
et cetera. In my younger days, I did pageants and
we always resold the dress after at a good discount.
They told me they looked but didn't find anything they like.
I told them I hope the dress would come up soon.
Two weeks passed and we get invited to dinner again
(05:47):
at their house. We show up and immediately his sister
starts moping. I assumed she had a bad day at
school and sit down to eat. Then my mother in
law explained to me she was upset because prom was
in three days and she still had no dress. I
expressed my condolences and told her that I could maybe
help her have some last looks around. That's when mother
in law said, oh, I have an idea, Oh Pie,
(06:11):
why don't you let sister in law weigh your yellow dress?
I could probably get it tailored in time. My sister
in law immediately perked up, and I felt like I
was ambushed. I looked to my husband, but he just shrugged.
I politely told them I was sorry, but the dress
was very special to me, and also sister in law
and I are quite different sizes. It would fall off
of her. Mother in law then told me she knows
(06:33):
a wonderful seamstress who could make it fit, which really
upset me. I asked her, what if I ever want
to try it on again? It wouldn't fit me. Even
if I lost weight. I would never fit in a
dress tailor to fit her. Sister in law ended up
busting into tears. I'm not sure if it was because
of me saying no or me talking about our bodies.
My husband and I ended up leaving early. He was
(06:55):
very upset with me for not sharing the dress, but said,
ultimately it was my decision. His family, on the other hand,
was livid with me. They went radio silent until I
saw a post of sister in law on Facebook and
a beautiful blue dress. I commented, saying I'm glad she
got a dress, she looked great, and I hope that
she had a good time, And I got a comment
back asking me for my portion of the dress. They're
(07:17):
now saying my husband and I are responsible for either
reselling the dress or getting them half back since I
have experience with that, or help pay for half. I
told them that was ridiculous, but my husband told me
to just do it. I told him I'm not going
to be pushed over, and he ended up leaving for
three days to his mom's. Now I'm no longer invited
to family dinners or functions, and they only have nasty
(07:39):
things to say about me, saying I almost ruined her
prom night. Am I the jerk? Should I have just
let her wear my dress or at the very least
help them sell it At this point, since my husband
isn't even on my side, I don't know. EDIT try
to talk to mother in law after getting some confidence
from these comments. Basically she brushed it all off, still
demand did I do what she did? Told me to
(08:00):
to either sell it or help pay for it, because
I'm family and that's what family does, but also said
she would have looked much better in it than I did,
and that I just didn't let her have the dress
out of jealousy. I'm honestly speechless right now, not the
jerk at all. Even if it wasn't your wedding dress,
it's still your dress, and you have no obligation to
even loan it out, much less give it away permanently.
(08:24):
It makes sense to feel weird because no one is
on your side, but it's only this one sided because
it's entirely his family and they clearly have issues. If
his solution to them being upset is just give them
what they want, and his solution to himself being upset
is run away to moms for three days, these are
some serious red flags and you might reconsider your future
plans with this dude. Exactly. They are super entitled and
(08:48):
set this up from the beginning. To expect someone to
give you their items simply because you want it is absurd.
That your husband doesn't stand up for you is also
absurd staying with Mommy dearest and giving you the silent
treatment until you give into their bullying. OPI, you've only
wasted a year on this mama's boy in his ridiculous family.
I'd cut your losses now, rather than looking back in
(09:09):
ten years and knowing this was the first sign that
you should have run. Well, what would you do in
this situation? Would you let sister in law borrow your
dress or not? Please let us know. Never stay with
someone who's too weak to stick up for you when
it comes to their entitled family. Am I the jerk
for telling the stepfather who raised me that he's not
my dad? My mom married my stepfather when I was one.
(09:30):
He had a one year old son, and then they
had a daughter a year later together. My stepbrother and
I are sixteen now, and our half sister is fourteen.
Stepfather is the only father figure I know, and I've
always called him dad. My actual dad is not in
my life. Growing up, I always noticed that he treated
me differently. He never mistreated me, but he was always
more interested in his own kids than me. In fact,
(09:53):
he always showed very little interest in me. I've always
felt like a second class family member. My mom treats
my stepbrother exactly like me, but my stepfather doesn't do
the same for me anyway. This last couple of years
have been difficult because stepfather started doing stuff with my siblings,
like going on trips going fishing or hiking bonding moments,
as he calls it, and he's never taken me with them,
(10:15):
despite me asking to go. Initially, he always said maybe
next time, until I called him out last week and
he took me aside and explained that this is for
him and his kids. I'm not his kid like they are.
He said. He loves me, but it's different. He can't
dilute the experience by bringing me as well. But he
said my mom can spend bonding moments with me and
my sister if she wants to as well, and that
(10:36):
it would be good for us to have that only
for us. This conversation happened on Friday before they went
off for a weekend trip. My mom told me that
this is how he feels. She can't change it, but
she's made sure I'm always treated equally when it comes
to money, which is true, but she can't change the
way he feels, so I need to accept it. I've
been thinking all weekend, and it was clear to me
(10:57):
that when he doesn't see me as his son, it's
wrong of me to see him as my dad. So
I decided that if I'm this step kid, he tolerates
because of my mom. I'm not going to pretend like
we're anything more. I decided to stop calling him dad
and go by his first name. So on Sunday night,
after they returned, I said Hi Tom. He was surprised,
but didn't say anything. At dinner, he asked me what
(11:18):
that was about, and I explained that I don't want
to dilute the experience he has with his real kids
by calling him dad when clearly I'm not his son.
It's something that should be kept for his actual kids.
I was told to go to my room by my mom.
Later she came to me and said this has hurt
him and I should apologize. I said, I'm just following
his lead and treating him exactly like how he wants
(11:40):
to be treated by his actions, and if he's hurt,
then he should look in the mirror because that's his actions.
My mom told me in the end that this is
the man who raised me all my life, and I
need to apologize and show remorse. She says, he's ninety
five percent of the way for being a dad to me.
I shouldn't ignore all of that and focus on the
missing five percent and reject him entirely. I declined, said,
(12:01):
he's the one who needs to apologize if he wants
things to change between us. Am I being the jerk
in this situation, not the jerk, and well done for
sticking up for yourself. If he doesn't want to be
your dad fully with no strings attached, then he doesn't
deserve the respect of being called dad. Your mom is
a jerk. You give your all with kids or nothing.
He isn't giving you ninety five percent and has let
(12:23):
you know where you stand with him, so it's only
fair he knows that respect works both ways. I'm sorry
you're dealing with this. You deserve a dad step or
otherwise who views you as their own and treats you
as such. The blood of the covenant is thicker than
the water of the womb. I would totally follow your
current path and respond with your mom's words back to him.
You'll be sure to always treat him politely, but she
(12:46):
can't change your feelings on the issue, and she and
him will just have to accept it. Either the way
you feel is fair and each of you need to
live with a dynamic created or your behavior needs to
reflect what's fair and right despite your deeper feelings, and
I tell her and him that you'll be following his
lead on how this relationship is going to work. Not
the jerk. You're a smart kid. As long as you
(13:07):
stay calm and respectful, you're totally in the right and
how you're doing this. Also, the fact that your mom
told you she makes sure things are kept equal financially
tells me she actually has to intervene on your behalf
to have that happen. If your mom keeps pushing you,
I would very calmly reply by saying, I understand why
it bothers you to see his feelings hurt, but I
wonder if you've given any thoughts to how it makes
(13:29):
you feel when you see my feelings hurt and why
your response to those things is different. Not the jerk.
Both your mother and Tom are the jerks. Explain to
your mother that this is not just how Tom feels,
this is how he acts. If he were a true dad,
then he would have the same bonding experiences with you
as the others. By letting Tom treat you like this,
she's also treating you badly. I'm sure you're going to
(13:52):
get a lot of support. Show her this thread and
suggest therapy so that she truly understands how damaging this
situation is for you, and how she is a horrible
mother for letting this occur. Well, who do you think
is the jerk? OPI or Tom? Please let us know.
I always knew Tom was a jerk. Remember how it'd
always chased Jerry. Am I the jerk for refusing to
return a bag that I bought with my money? I
(14:14):
nineteen female, work at a thrift store three days a week.
It's quite a big one and a lot of people
in my area come and shop there. Every product is
labeled in accordance to a color coded system, and the
color changes every week. Furthermore, there is section in the
store that sells the more expensive donations, mostly brands. These
products are usually sold at a higher price. I'm a
(14:35):
very low level employee, and my job is to place
the products on the shelves and on the poles. Because
of that, I see what is about to be sold
in advance. However, I can't buy anything that's labeled with
the color of the week. So, for example, if this
week's color is red, I have to wait until the
next week to buy anything with the label in red.
Now I usually work on weekends plus a random day
(14:57):
of the week two weeks ago. It fell on a Tuesday,
that meant that we had just started a new color yellow.
As I was putting bags on the shelf, I realized
that one of them was from a very expensive fashion brand.
At first glance, you wouldn't be able to recognize it,
but because I spend too much time on Pinterest, I
immediately started panicking This bag that usually retails for a
(15:18):
few thousand for sale at a thrift store for twelve
ninety nine, I was going to feint. Unfortunately for me,
because it was labeled in yellow, I couldn't have it.
Because it's not the first time this sort of thing happens.
I calmed down, put the bag back in its place,
and continued my job. As I was going on with
my day, I kept going back to the same section,
praying that no one had taken it. At the end
(15:40):
of my shift, I saw that it was still there,
and I decided that if no one had bought it,
I would. Four days later, I came back to start
my day and I see that the bag is still there,
but it was now further back on the shelf behind
some other ones. I don't touch anything. I kept doing
my job did the same on Sunday. Last Monday, I
woke up and went there to shop. As soon as
(16:01):
I entered the store, I went to the bag section
and took the bag bline to check out and bought it.
I was so excited. I guess some of my excitement
was showing because my coworker asked me why I was smiling.
Me and this coworker usually get along well, and I
explained to her the situation. She smiled and told me
that she was happy for me. Last Saturday, while on
my shift, my boss called me into his office to talk.
(16:25):
He was with one of my managers, and they went
on to tell me that I had acted inappropriately by
not notifying them of the price of the bag. They
asked that I return it so that they would put
it back on sale, this time at a much higher price.
I told them no because I followed the policy. They
weren't happy, but they couldn't force me. Yesterday, when I
got to work, my coworkers kept on making remarks and
(16:47):
my managers had this unhappy look on their faces. I
explained the story to my friend and she said that
even if it's my bag, it's not fair that I
kept the information for myself, so read it. Am I
the jerk? Not? The policy was followed. Not your fault.
They didn't check it properly. I worked at a thrift
store with a similar system, and OP is definitely not
(17:08):
the jerk. We know we have to wait to give
customers a chance, and she did. It's the responsibility of
the pricers to look this stuff up. They aren't even
upset about the customers not getting a chance from the
sounds of it, They're just upset they didn't charge more,
which makes no sense. If Op was the only one
wanting it for thirteen dollars, why is anyone gonna buy
it for more? Not the jerk OP. They're just being greedy. Well,
(17:31):
who do you think is the jerk? OP or her boss?
Please let us know a lesson to be learned. Me
as friendly as you want with your coworkers, but never
ever trust them. Only help the people that actually come
to church. No problem. Background. I'm a pastor at a
small church in the southeast United States. We have a
Benevolence fund that church members contribute to, and it's designated
(17:53):
to help people in need, such as help with power bills,
water bills, rent, et cetera. At the time this took place,
we had about six thousand dollars in that fund, and
we had about as much money coming in as we
had going out, so the amount was more or less
staying steady over a period of several months. The elder
who was in charge of declaring who got help and
who didn't, somehow got the idea that we were going
(18:14):
to run out of this fund if we were not careful.
Not likely. Therefore, he came to me and said, Pastor,
I think we need to restrict our benevolence help to
those that physically come to the church, not just those
that call in via the telephone. He and I debated
this back and forth. There was no issue about people
calling in being less likely to be legitimate cases. He
(18:35):
was just simply trying to reduce expenditures. His line of
reasoning was that at some point one of our members
might need some help for something big, and we needed
to make sure that we had plenty of money on
hand if and when they needed it. My position was
that one this money was given with the expectation that
we use it to help as many people as possible
and not just sit on most of it. And two
(18:56):
we had a really long waist to go before we
spent so much that we didn't have any left in reserve.
I acquiesced to his suggestion. However, when people started calling
in saying that they needed help with something, I told them, Okay,
here's what I need you to do. Bring your bill
in a photo ID to the church between such and
such hours and someone will at least talk to you.
I can't promise anything more than that, but someone will
(19:19):
at least sit down with you. Never had a single
one object to coming in, and they would usually show
up shortly thereafter. The church secretary, who agreed with me
on this one, overheard me telling this to someone and
started laughing, knowing exactly what I was doing. A few
weeks later, the elder mentioned to me, you know, we're
getting a lot more people coming directly to the church
(19:39):
instead of calling in. Word must have gotten out about
how we are doing this. I just replied, Yep, it
must have, and then I would just smile and move on.
The elder passed on about four years ago, and I
don't think he ever clued in as to what I
was doing. Am I the jerk for refusing to let
my future baby half sibling live in the same room
as me. I'm seventeen female, and my mom and stepfather
(20:02):
recently got pregnant. My family is kind of confusing, so
to sum it up, my older half brother nineteen, he's
my stepfather and my mom's kid, and I'm my mom
and my dad's kid. We live in a three bedroom house,
the master suite, my brother's bedroom, and my bedroom. We
also have a basement with a bathroom. When I found
out my parents were pregnant, one of their first requests
(20:23):
was that the baby share my room. I immediately declined
because they wanted a newborn not to sleep in their
room but in mine. While I was finishing my last
year of high school and preparing for college, I said no,
and the baby should sleep in their room, and when
it was old enough to have its own room, I
will already have moved out. One of my friends is
kind of rich and her parents are going to buy
her an apartment for college, and she told me that
(20:45):
I could stay there for cheap. They got really mad
at me and told me how much stress they would
have after having the baby. Now. I understand pregnancy is
hard and all, but I really don't want to have
to listen to a baby crying have them run into
my room when I'm sleeping doing homework. C I told
them that I thought it would be easier if the
baby stayed in their room or if I moved to
the basement, but that would be a little annoying, as
(21:07):
our basement isn't really room fit, like I don't know
how to describe it, but I wouldn't want to live there.
I understand I might be a little rude because my
parents won't have their baby till February. They're like two
months pregnant or something. I don't know. They just said
the due date is in February, but I feel like
that's going to be an incredibly stressful time, even for
just the fouriest months I'm staying here, you know, with
(21:28):
the school ending, college entrance exams, waiting to see if
I got in, et cetera, all the works. And on
a more personal note, I can't stand babies. They weired
me out. I'm thinking I could be in the wrong
because their room is more cluttered than mine and they
could have a problem making space, and my parents have
their ideas, you know, so I could just be biased.
So am I in the wrong, not the jerk. Babies
(21:51):
cry a lot in the night and it's not your responsibility.
You will not be able to sleep the whole night
if the baby moves into your room. Stressful for the
actual parents to have their baby in their room, but
it's fine if they make the daughter have the baby
in their room. Wow, not the jerk. It's their kid.
And if they don't want to deal with a newborn
baby crying at night, they shouldn't have had another baby,
(22:13):
not expect their daughter to do it for them. Also,
how is your older brother your stepfather's kid? Did your
mom and stepfather break up for a bit your mom
had you and then your mom and stepfather got back together.
OPI My mother cheated on my father with my stepfather
and then hid my brother from him for two years,
and then when she was pregnant with me, she thought
(22:33):
it was my stepfather's kid, so she broke up with
my dad and married my stepfather. But then paternity test
and all showed that I was my dad's kid. Am
I the jerk for refusing to let my boyfriend have
my bank account info to make a purchase? I female
thirty one, have been with my boyfriend mail thirty seven
for eight months. He has three kids and he's a
single dad. We're on pretty good terms regarding almost everything.
(22:57):
When it comes to money and spending. We'd take turns
to invite each other out weekly. We don't live together, obviously.
Several times he had me pay for his kids' purchases.
I didn't make a big issue out of it for
the sole reason that these purchases were relatively small. All
I had to pay was thirty to sixty dollars. The
other day, he called me while I was at work
and sounded like he was in a hurry. He said
(23:18):
he'd just found the gaming device he's been looking for
for so long and wanted to buy it for his
oldest son. I asked what's this have to do with me,
and he told me he was short on money and
needed three hundred dollars. He asked me to lend him
the three hundred and I hesitated but agreed. He asked
for my bank account info so he could pull the money,
but I refused and told him to wait for me
(23:39):
until I get there. He insisted and said he would
handle it. All I had to do was just send
him my bank account info after I end the call
with them. His insistence made me uncomfortable, so I still
said no and told him to either wait or I
won't pay. He got mad at me, saying he didn't
get why I was acting like this. He got so
loud I had to hang up. I found him sitting
(23:59):
outside after I got home. He was waiting for me
and was extremely upset. He asked why I didn't just
send him the account info so he could pull the
money we agreed on. I told him I don't feel
comfortable letting anyone have my personal info, especially when it
comes to finances. He got offended and said I'm not
just anyone. I'm your partner. Then went on a rant
(24:20):
about how he ended up not buying the gaming device
after looking forward for so long, and now his kid
is mad at him and it's my fault. We had
a fight. Then he left and told me i'd better
have an apology for him and his son next time
I call his phone. I haven't called yet, but I
feel like I acted stupidly and irrationally. I think I
should have just given him the info he asked for.
(24:41):
I don't know if I made the right decision. Oh no,
you've been with him for only eight months and he's
already demanding that you lend him money and give him
your bank account info. Sounds to me like those small
purchases he got you to do for his kid's stuff
were his way of softening you up so he could
later on request a big purchase and you'd be used
to it, wouldn't hesitate you didn't act irrationally he did.
(25:03):
If he can't afford it, he needs to wait until
he can. I wouldn't give my own mother my bank
account details, and she wouldn't ask either, let alone a
partner I've been with for less than a year. A
year is where the honeymoon period starts to wear off,
where the person starts revealing their true colors and all
their flaws. If he's acting like this at eight months,
during the period where he's still showing you his best side,
(25:25):
what's he going to be like in a year from now?
What's he going to be demanding? Then? What's he going
to be telling you that you need to buy right now?
So again, no, he should be apologizing to you. He
acted appallingly. Not the jerk, Not the jerk. This has
red flags written all over it. The request to pay
for his kids. Red flag. Demanding money, red flag. The
(25:47):
demand for your account info red flag. The anger when
you told him no, demanding for an apology, the waiting
outside your house, the gas lighting only eight months into
the relationship, asking for money with Zel, then Mo, etc.
There's no need to give anyone your account infall. Please
do not do this. That's how people get all of
their money stolen. You don't owe him anything. If you
(26:09):
gave him the money, you may never see it again,
or the request will get bigger. Three hundred dollars for
a game is not an emergency. Rethink this relationship. It
will only get worse. Dear Tyler. For context, I work
out a pizzeria that uses a coal brick oven. It
has to be stoked, and sometimes mistakes happen. Your fiance
(26:29):
made me cry. You're the first table that has actually
made me cry in the seven months i've been serving.
Albeit I'm exhausted from the summertime tourism rush and all
the doubles. But when you sat down, I literally told
you it was going to take about an hour for
your food to get out because the oven was colder
than usual and our kitchen was working their tails off.
But they couldn't compensate for the floor load in addition
(26:50):
to the oven ten. I thank to you for letting
me know that you were seeing a movie after dinner,
because that let me know how I should serve you.
When about forty five minutes past and your feetonce started
being rude to me, I apologized. You claim to have
been there longer than you were. You all do know
we can look at the computer to see the seating times.
Right when you decided to walk out. I don't know
(27:11):
what you said to my manager, but he also almost cried,
and I've never seen him like that before. You hogged
my table for an hour after coming in, pretending the
wait time was okay with you, and tipped me zero
dollars when somebody else could have been sitting at that
table and joined themselves. You left such an impression on
me that I remembered enough details about you to find
you on Facebook in two seconds. Let me just say,
(27:33):
your and your fiance's memes and posts about respect and
likability do not reflect on your behavior last night. You
never know who you're going to interact with, and you're lucky.
I'm a civilized human being who's going to leave it
at an anonymous Reddit post. Just be aware of your
presence and behavior in this world going forward. I could
have been a monster. I hope you're ashamed. I'm exhausted
(27:54):
and giving everybody my one hundred percent even when I'm
only at twenty percent capacity. Hellow coal brick oven, pizza
rea employee here. Stoking is essential, but most guests do
not understand. Most of our bad reviews on Yelp are
people who come in during stoking and told pizzas will
take about an hour, and then leave a review saying
we turn them away because we shut down our ovens,
(28:16):
wondering why we would do that in the middle of
the day. Our hosts are trained to let everyone who
walks through the door during stoke know what the stoking
process is and how long it will take. Some guests
decide they don't want to wait and leave. Fine, cool,
That's why we let you know so that you can
make that decision. However, some guests decide to sit down
anyway after being warned about stoking. That's when I come up. Hi, folks, welcome.
(28:39):
Did the host let you know about stoking them every time? No?
What's that? I feel your pain and these people suck.
They most likely weren't paying attention when they were told
about stoking, and then they got upset when they finally
realized what was going on. The stoking process takes time
and has to be done. It consists of knocking down
any old coal and ash inside our ovens. We then
(29:01):
rebuild the fire, clean and reset. Next, the oven is
reheated to the perfect temperature to craft amazing pizzas. Am
I the jerk for not tattooing my step son's name
on my arm with my kid's names. I'm thirty six male.
My wife is thirty five. I have two kids for
my first marriage, who are nine and seven. I've been
married to my wife for four years. We have a
(29:21):
one year old together. She has an eight year old
son from her first marriage. The kids all live with us.
My kid's mother has visitation one week and a month.
Her son's dad isn't involved at all. I have the
names of my oldest two kids tattooed on my arm.
I just recently added the name of my youngest daughter.
My wife and I were talking about the tattoo and
she asked me if I'll tattoo my stepson's name in
(29:43):
the same round as our daughters. I told her I
have no intention of tattooing his name. She was shocked
and asked me why. I said, I only have the
names of my kid's tattooed. She said, I am excluding
her son, and he's part of this family too. I
refuse to tattoo his name and proceeded to a only
tattoo my daughter's name. Wife called me all sorts of things.
(30:03):
Am I the jerk? You're the jerk. You've been a
father figure to him for half his life. The poor
kid will probably be shattered when he realizes you don't
actually see him as yours. One thousand times this the
kid looks up to you as a father. He's going
to be so hurt when he realizes you don't feel
the same way. If OP hasn't adopted the kid, then
(30:24):
he has no rights if they divorce. Tattooing a stepkid's
name is not the same as tattooing a biological kid's name.
You're the jerk. Look, no one gets to dictate what
you put on your body, but you made it incredibly
clear to your step son where he stands in this
family on the outside, and right now he's eight and
he's not going to notice, but when he gets older,
he will, and you're going to have to tell him why.
(30:46):
You have also sent a clear message to your wife
where her kid stands in this family. Don't get upset
when she makes sure to prioritize your step son over
your older kids, because you made it clear the dynamics
you expected. So what happens when and if they divorce?
Dude is just going to have his ex's kids name
tattooed on him? He's not the jerk. People are asking
(31:06):
for too much from him, like, of course he's going
to favor his biological kids more than his stepkids. Maybe
later down the road, if he stays in the relationship
and raises the kid, then it would make sense, but
right now, no, I think definitely not the jerk. And
I say this because I've known people that did get
their step kids' names tattooed on them. Guess what happened.
The marriage didn't work out and the actual parents refused
(31:29):
any contact for the stepkids. Not saying that this will
happen to op, but for me, this is the equivalent
of tattooing your significant other's name on you. You just
don't do it. I will say that a nice alternative
is to make the step son feel included, would be
to get a tattoo that doesn't have his name but
represents him somehow. Then he's included without having his name,
and it's different from the others, so it would be
(31:51):
even more special. Well, who do you think is the
jerk OPI or his wife? Please let us know I've
been thinking about getting a teardrop tattoo myself, Skirtchkerr. Support
our channel by joining as a member to day and
we'll give you a shout out in our next video.
Or come watch this video next. You won't believe what
Karen does in that one.
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