November 30, 2025 • 33 mins
In today’s episode of Reddit Stories Podcast, a wild Karen completely loses it. You won’t believe how this one ends! Sit back, relax, and enjoy this binge-worthy Reddit Stories Podcast, featuring Karen freakouts, entitled people stories, and pro revenge tales.
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📌 **Every episode dives into trending Reddit stories, insane Karen freakouts, and dramatic pro revenge stories! We cover the wildest situations from r/EntitledPeople, r/AITA, and r/EntitledParents. If you love binge-worthy podcast compilations, long-form storytelling, and Reddit drama stories, you’re in the right place!
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🎧 Listen to More Reddit Stories Podcast Episodes Here:
👉 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/5ZVzMm0Pr3bwlM26VuVv8J
👉 Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/mr-redder/id1516821033
📌 **Every episode dives into trending Reddit stories, insane Karen freakouts, and dramatic pro revenge stories! We cover the wildest situations from r/EntitledPeople, r/AITA, and r/EntitledParents. If you love binge-worthy podcast compilations, long-form storytelling, and Reddit drama stories, you’re in the right place!
👉 📺 Love These Stories? Watch Full Video Episodes on YouTube! → https://www.youtube.com/@MrRedderYT
🎵 Music Credit: https://soundcloud.com/lakeyinspired
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/reddit-stories-podcast-mr-redder--5571651/support.
Enjoyed this story? Follow the show and leave a quick rating.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey there, mister rhdder here, welcome back to another episode
of Redded podcast Stories. Our first story will be reading
today my mom stole eight thousand dollars from me and
open credit cards in my name, plus updates. After that,
am I the jerk for enrolling my stepdaughter in boarding
school despite my husband's wishes? And after that, don't let
your kid have consequences? Okay, Now, for every thumbs up,
(00:23):
this video gits one. Karen does not get to steal
eight thousand dollars from anyone, h not even share what
that could buy me considering inflation. So please smash that
like button and subscribe and turn on notifications for new
stories from Reddit every single day. My mom stole eight
thousand dollars from me and open credit cards in my name,
(00:44):
plus updates. I haven't talked to my mom for a
little over one year now, but this is the story
of my mom's lies. Growing up. My mom was always
in and out of jail for stealing. Last time she
was arrested was in twenty fifteen. I was nineteen at
that time. She always said said she stole to provide
for our family, but we never lived in a stable home.
She would just blow money on expensive gifts, then tell
(01:07):
us we aren't poor. We have this, How many poor
kids have this? As we lived from hotel to hotel
growing up, I became the financially responsible kid. I worked
multiple jobs, got good grades, and did community service. I
was able to save up eight five hundred dollars for
college with multiple scholarships. During my hard work in high school,
(01:27):
I also helped my mom with bills and paying for
whatever she needed help with. When I left for college,
she was arrested again and had to be dropped off
states away by my aunt. From my first day of college,
I asked my mom for my college money and she
said she would transfer the money when she got out.
When she got out, it all magically disappeared. She blamed
(01:48):
my dead grandmother for stealing my money. In twenty nineteen,
I discovered multiple credit cards and an apartment laid on
bills that were opened in my name. I cried to
my mom about all these issues. When she comforted me
and asked for more money, I gave her more money.
I graduated with my BA and went to grad school.
I was able to be in grad school for one
(02:09):
year with my savings before I needed to take grad
plus loans out. I applied, but was denied due to
all of the negative items on my credit score. My
mom told me to just pay it off. I didn't.
I dropped out instead. I was devastated, but I wasn't
going to pay for other people's fun ride. I called
all the credit companies and got the address for all
(02:30):
the credit cards. It was my mom's address. When confronted,
she broke down, saying it was my grandmother and how
dare I blame her for this? She demanded an apology,
and then it speaked to me for a week. My
grandmother passed before all of the credit cards were open.
I filed a police report against my mother. She doesn't
know yet, but when she finds out, I'm sure I
(02:52):
will receive the best kind of text message. We stopped
talking for another reason. Edit for all the comments, I
have not spoken to my mother for a year, almost
two years now. She's been blocked on everything. The reason
we don't talk is on a previous post I made
about how happy I am my boyfriend ruined my relationship
with her, to the comments asking about why I kept
(03:12):
giving her money. It was hard. It was either help
with the bills or have no electricity, water, gas, or
roof over mine in my brother's head. I didn't want
to be homeless again, and I didn't want my brother
to suffer either. I felt like I needed to help
my family because for so long I had the mentality
that blood was thicker than water. I also now know
that it isn't my responsibility. I was just young, and
(03:35):
I thought I was doing the best I could to
provide for my family from the ages of sixteen to
twenty three. I'm twenty six now. Credit stuff, I've gotten
a good amount taken off. Only two cards and one
bill are on my credit score. Thank you for all
of your support and kindness. Edit too, I am a
ball over age. I had recently unfreezed my credit card
(03:55):
account to apply for care credit to get an emergency
surgery done. Not even two months of unfreezing my credit,
my mom applied for a new credit card in my name.
I'm done. I always had a piece in me that
didn't want to press charges or push for it because
it was rough times in our lives and I knew
she was struggling to raise us. But now I see
(04:15):
no excuse other than she just doesn't want the responsibility
of living within her means. It's been two to three
years of no contact. I would like to say forget
you to Chase Bank. The card was being open with them,
and when I called to let them know it wasn't me,
they told me they will see if they can close
the account, but need a police report first. I asked
for the address to confirm it was my mom. They
(04:38):
kept denying my request for the address. I only got
it confirmed after I told the operator if I guessed
the darn address, would you just give me a yes
or no? Hey agreed and it was my mom's address.
I'm away for surgery for a while, but when I
get back home, I'm going to the police and requesting
to speak with a prosecutor. I'm done. I'm hurt and done.
(04:59):
I did my best to raise my credit score to
where it is now. I did my best to work
multiple jobs to help with the bills. I did my
best to be her emotional support no matter how bad
she treated me. I feel like this next step will
be cutting this one string. I left connected to her
out of sympathy, and of course it led to me
being taken advantage of again. I hope to give an
(05:19):
update on if the courts will be on my side. Edit.
I'm sadly states away for this surgery, which is why
I'm waiting till the surgery is over and I'm back
home recovering. I don't know if I can file this
police report in this state I am in and it
still be effective in the state I live in. I
know jurisdiction can be a problem. Edit too, thank you
for the advice. I'll be pressing charges right away. My
(05:41):
boyfriend is an attorney but doesn't work in the public area.
I do have friends from my law school days that
actually work in our country's prosecutor office, so I may
reach out to them for some advice. They just passed
the bar and are slowly getting into the routine. I
also don't like to bring this up much to passive
friends because it's just so embarrassing. My mom and I
haven't spoken almost two to three years. It feels so
(06:04):
long ago. I really don't know the timeline. Questions why
haven't I pushed for charges before? And why do I
keep letting this happen. I really don't know if many
will understand, but I've been conditioned to fear my mom
from a young age. She would punish me for not acting, speaking,
or thinking a certain way. If she thought I had
a negative thought about her, I was punished. I had
(06:24):
to beg and cry and comfort her that it wasn't true.
After it was over, I would have to hold my
mom and comfort her through the tears. The fear has
also been real. Even after cutting contact. It is stopped, thankfully,
but I've been afraid that if I make this move,
it will start again. What do I mean? She threatened
to get my boyfriend and friends expelled from law school
if they kept associating with me. We had to call
(06:47):
the school and have a talk about my mom. She
then threatened to report me to the IRS for tax fraud,
but I always paid my taxes. She sent messages to
my workplace. When I was a kid, I'd be in
the back seat as she drove past people's houses whom
she hated over and over to see what they were doing.
That fear that she could find where I live and
do this made my stomach turn. I was afraid to
(07:09):
push for these charges in the past because I wanted
to leave it behind and continue the peace I was living.
She stopped. I removed all those nasty things on my
credit and I was happy until now I know it
will never stop. After four years of not opening anything
in my name, she went back to it. So I'm
putting my foot down and taking this step. I understand
(07:29):
I should have pushed more earlier. I was scared a naive,
but I'm going to stop it today. Last update until
I get back home. I called my local police department
back home, saying I have an update for the identity
theft report I reported in twenty twenty one. They transferred
me over to the detective office and said I would
need to come in to make another report. I told
them I'm currently waiting to finish a surgical procedure and
(07:51):
will not be back home for a few days. They
said it was fine, so at this time I will
not be able to make the report until I get
back home. But I'm also happy because they I said,
I can talk to the detective when I come in
to file the other report. So I hoped to be
making a part four by the end of next month
with some good news. Update three, well, it's been a
mix of emotions the past few days. My surgery went
(08:13):
well and my recovery should be complete by next week.
I feel really good. Two. I got cancer. Didn't expect
this one skin cancer, which is super easy to treat
and to prevent if I keep up with the doctor appointments.
I got this weird ward removed. Got a call right
before I go into surgery saying it was cancer and
I would need to come in for some more testing
and body check. I would like to thank my mom
(08:35):
for having me in tanning beds at thirteen. She said
I was super pale, and I believed her. She also
didn't want people to think we didn't travel for spring break,
so all spring break I would be in a tanning
bed to look like we traveled. Where sunscreen kids. Three.
I got a puppy. Four. I went to the police
today and filed the report. Spoke to a detective too.
(08:55):
I gave them all of mine and my mother's information.
They asked if I would like to press criminal charge,
and I said yes. They're going to call the credit
card company to pull the report, and if Chase Bank
gives them the report without a subpoena, then we will
have an easy charge in closing of the case. If
Chase Bank wants a subpoena, then it will take longer
to close this I'm super happy I finally did this
(09:16):
and to hear that they may actually have charges to
press against her. So once I have more of an update,
i'll post again, but it looks like I may be
a couple of months before we get somewhere. Also, I
did talk with my brother. He knows and is aware
of the situation. He doesn't seem to care about his credit,
but he's also still young. I'm sure he will understand
soon and hopefully get his taken care of. Update. Police
(09:39):
called to let me know they will be going to
see her today or tuesday to talk about the theft.
If she admits to it, then we will have an
easy case. I told them on the phone she won't
admit to stealing. She would just blame someone else. The
detective wanted to know if she had a drug problem.
I told him no, she just can't live within her means.
If I get a call back that she has been arrested,
I will let you know. Update four. I got a
(10:02):
call this morning from the detective. He wanted to hear
my sight of the story again. I told him my
mom's history with theft. I told him I filed once
in twenty twenty one and nothing ever happened, how I
found this inquiry and how she did it the moment
I unfreezed my credit. He asked what did I want
him to do. I told him I would like charges.
He asked, if he goes to her place, will she
(10:22):
admit to this crime. I told him no. When I
confronted her about this, she had blamed my grandmother. Apparently
the woman had powers beyond the grave to open these
cards in my name. He said he'll be going down
today to interrogate her. If she admits to it, she
will be booked right there. If she doesn't, they will
just need the Chase credit report. I'm planning to go
(10:42):
to Chase to grab the report and hand it to
them myself tomorrow. I asked if she would know our address?
He said, if we go to court, my address would
be submitted as evidence against the identity theft, so she
would know where I lived. Thank goodness, we're renting right now,
so we agreed if we go to court, we will
see how long her sentences and plan to move out
before she's released. We know she will serve time because
(11:05):
this is her fourth time, and the judge will have
no sympathy. On a mom doing this to her daughter.
Max punishment in the US is fifteen years, but she
always takes the plea deal, so I can see her
serving either a couple of months or a year. It's
been a couple of hours and my stomach feels like
it's doing flips. My head is so dizzy, the air
feels so much heavier. I feel sick. I've been waiting
(11:27):
by my phone for a call, an update. Something. Did
she admit it is? She booked? What's happening next? The
detective then gave me the report number and I called
Chase Bank. Chase apparently hadn't processed the application, but after
my call, it was out on hold until further investigation.
With my report, I was able to have it denied
and removed from my credit score, so I have confidence
(11:49):
I can go into the bank tomorrow and snag that report.
I apologize for any grammar mistakes. I feel so lightheaded.
I'm on edge right now. I'll update again once I've
heard back from the police's update five. So this may
not be the update everyone wanted to hear. I didn't
get justice. She hasn't been arrested and no charges at
this time. I still do have a police report, but
(12:11):
I'm not going to push the police to go and
make an arrest. This update is just more information I've
recently discovered, more context. It wasn't just always my mom,
brother and I. When I was born, I shared a
small three bedroom apartment with my grandmother, her husband, my aunt.
In high school, my mom, me, and then my little
brother followed. My aunt went no contact with the family
(12:33):
in her later twenties, and I never knew why. It
hurt to lose someone I was close with. I heard
horrible rumors of things my aunt was doing for my mom,
and my mom would also let me know awful things
my aunt was saying about me. My aunt was on
and off in my life. After this no contact, well,
fast forward to present. I reached out to my aunt
to meet her. We talked and got everything cleared. My
(12:55):
mom stole my aunt and her father's identity. My aunt
had a lot of debt she didn't know about, and
when she found out it was my mom, she pressed charges.
This was the second time she was arrested. My aunt's husband,
who was a cop, arrested her. I knew he couldn't
stand my mom, but never knew why. My aunt then
gave me a list of family members who she also
(13:16):
stole their identities, and everyone in the family knew what
happened to me and my brother. The issue was, how
are we going to stop her? She was our mom.
My aunt told me she wished my mom would have
given us up so my brother and I could have
lived with her and had a normal life. I don't
know why, but those words broke me so much to
know I had family that knew we were being treated
(13:37):
like this, but couldn't do much to help us. To
know they wanted to save me and my brother. My
aunt then proceeded to tell me my father tried to
go to court to have my social Security number changed
and locked until I was eighteen. This way my mom
couldn't steal my identity. It obviously didn't work, and here
I am. She told me how happy and proud she
was of me. She told me she struggled when she
(13:58):
went no contact because she felt like she left her
babies behind and she was afraid of how we would
turn out. I love my aunt, and I'm so happy
I reached out. I'm even more angry with my mom
how badly she isolated us into her own delusional world
and in the end, destroyed our relationship. I told my
aunt I didn't care that we struggled in poverty. I
don't blame her for that. I blame her for how
(14:20):
she handled it and put so much pressure on two
kids to become billionaires for her to continue her reckless spending.
Am I the jerk for enrolling my stepdaughter and boarding
school despite my husband's wishes. I twenty nine female, married
Sam fifty one male, and I have one stepdaughter, Laura,
who's sixteen. Laura's mom, Kate, passed when she was a baby,
(14:42):
but Sam has always kept her image alive in Laura's
life by keeping Kate's family and friends in Laura's life.
Kate went to a boarding school when she was a
teen and even went back to teach there for a while.
It was the best time of her life, according to
video she took when she was there, and from what
her family and friends told us, Laura has a always
wanted to go there when she was a kid, but
we said no as it was too far in a
(15:04):
neighboring country and she was too young. But now that
she's older, she's more decided on going there. Sam keeps
saying no He's worried she might become distant from him
living so far away, and that she might fall into
bad company. I disagree. I think at sixteen she's more
than responsible enough, and it will only be for two years.
He still kept saying no, and Laura was pressuring me
(15:26):
to convince him. I kept being stuck between them. The
deadline kept coming nearer, and Laura kept crying to me
about it, begging me, so I decided to go ahead
and apply. She needed me to pay the application fee,
even though Sam was against it. He knew I was applying.
She got in and I went ahead and paid the tuition.
Sam is now very mad at me. He says I
(15:47):
had no right, and the mood around our house is tens.
Kate's parents agreed with me, as do my in laws,
but my sister in law says I had no right.
Am I the jerk? I don't know what to do.
How do I convince him? Edit? I am Laura's legal guardian,
so I can legally send her. Even though Laura doesn't
call me mom, she and I have a very close relationship.
(16:08):
The reason we are close is partly because I always
respected Kate and her memory and never tried to take over.
Kate is mom and will always be, but I'm important
to Laura too. Please stop undermining my role in her
life just because we're not related by blood. One reason
I applied is that if I didn't, she would never
get to apply again. The school doesn't accept students for
(16:28):
older grades, so it was now or never. Sam still
has till August to change his mind, but if he doesn't,
Laura knows she has to stay. The other reason is
that if I didn't, it would damage our relationship with Laura.
She has wanted this since she could remember. She grew
up watching videos Kate took when she was there. It's
her dream to go where her mom went to be
close to her. It's where Kate spent the best years
(16:51):
of her life and the last years of her life,
as she passed only four months after moving to our
current country and giving birth. If this sends up breaking
Sam and me up, it's a call I'm willing to
take as long as Laura gets delivered. Dream Edit two.
She hasn't gone yet. She doesn't go until September. I
just applied because it was the last call for applications.
Edit three. Judgment is I'm the jerk and fine, I
(17:14):
accept it, I still would have done the same. This
school was a massive part of Kate's life and identity.
Kate spent seven years of school there, went to a
university close by and worked at the school part time,
then worked there full time till she had to move
to our country to give birth to Laura, and four
months later she passed. Kate's passing really affected Sam, and
despite my insistence, he hasn't gone to therapy for it.
(17:36):
Sam's reasons for not letting Laura go have all to
do with his paranoia towards losing her like he lost Kate.
I believe I've done the best decision for Laura, and
these comments have only reinforced that. Most of the you're
the jerk votes have more to do with hatred of
step parents and shaming me for our age difference than
what was best for Laura. Edit four, logging off. Now,
(17:58):
I'll go talk to Sam about kid therapy. His paranoia
has been an issue with him and Laura before. He
even wanted to get the three sixty app one time,
but I said no, I have to do what's best
for her. If I have to pick between her happiness
and him, I will pick her every time. That was
not what I was expecting. I'm going with. Everyone sucks
here except Laura. Your husband sucks for not listening to
(18:21):
what Laura wants or being willing to discuss it with her.
You suck for going behind his back. I would say
this even if you were Laura's biological mom one parent.
Shouldn't you unilaterally decide something as big as sending a
kid to school in another country? Not the jerk, but whooh?
That age difference is a concern. You are doing right
by both Laura and Kate. Everyone sucks here. Look being
(18:45):
uncomfortable with a twenty two year age gap between your
husband and you isn't shaming. You should look up that
term if you're confused. It's about the power and balance
that exists when you are romantically involved with someone old
enough to be your parent. You can see it all
over your post, from his unwillingness to get therapy to
his controlling behavior with his daughter. The fact that you
(19:05):
felt you had to enroll her against his wishes says
a lot more than you think. This is not healthy
relationship behavior from either of you. Don't let your kid
have consequences, Okay, So I'm twenty three, female and a
nanny for the family I work for. There are seven kids,
all ranging from fourteen years old to ten months old.
(19:26):
I've been working for them for eight months and never
really had any issues. They're a good family for the
most part. A key part here is that the kids
are all homeschooled, so they do not get out a lot. Unfortunately,
that leads to mom and dad spoiling them quite a lot,
and since I've started, had a bit of a discipline issue.
They throw tantrums, throw things, and scream a lot. Finally,
(19:48):
Mom decided to put on some discipline because their tantrums
led to me getting an injury. I was pushed down
the stairs, so she implemented a timeout routine and it
was going well for almost everyone. There's where the story
truly begins. The second to youngest is two and a
half almost three. His tantrums are some of the worst,
and instead of really disciplining him, she coddles. If he
(20:10):
screams and yells, she just picks him up and gives
him whatever he wants. He will also throw things and
hid whoever's telling him no, and Mom doesn't do anything.
On Wednesday this week, Mom had an appointment, and when
he woke up from his nap and she wasn't there,
he freaked out. I try to calm him by playing games, food,
or reading books, but nothing worked. He just got louder
(20:32):
and more aggressive. He even got me and his siblings. Eventually,
he woke up the baby, and when I got her,
he even tried to get her. So, with no other
real options working to calm him down, I pick him up,
sit him on his bed, and said time out. You
do not behave this way. When you calm down, you
can come out. He finally is calming down after several
(20:53):
minutes and mom comes home. She was quite upset that
he got a time out because she says that he's
too young and doesn't know better. Now I understand he's young,
but I've been in nanny for a while and I've
learned two to three is normal age for discipline, so
they learn to know better. I only do a minute
per year age and only goes longer if they can't
calm down, though I check in every minute. She was
(21:15):
also upset I used his room as a time out.
Now that part I get and can understand that at
this age, associating time out with where he sleeps. I
can agree we don't do that, but I had to ask,
when he's acting like this, what do you want me
to do? She said, let her handle it if I'm
not there, give him what he wants. It's not worth
the fight. Okay, But what if it's something I can't give,
(21:38):
she replied, if you can just let him go through it,
he'll calm down quickly. I looked at her, like, are
you serious? You do realize how he can be right?
But okay, cute malicious compliance. The next day, Mom had
another appointment and she was gone when he woke up,
and of course he wanted her and only her. I said, sorry,
(21:58):
she's not here. Don't we play a game? He screams no.
I ask if he wants a snack. No, he screams
and starts slapping at my hands. I ask him to
go read a book or go to his siblings room
for playtime. He screams again and starts getting me. I
told him, please, don't do that, so he screams in
my face and goes off, throwing things at me and
(22:19):
everyone around, and just goes off. I tell everyone to
go to their rooms. I tried everything to calm him down,
and it didn't work. So I did exactly what she
told me, absolutely nothing. He continues his tirade, throwing things,
pulling things off shelves, and screaming. I obviously kept him
from things that would hurt him, like glass or ceramics,
and when he got on a table to push something,
(22:41):
I picked him up and put him down, though he
did bite me really hard when I did that, not
enough to bleed, but enough to leave a good mark.
I let this go on for about fifteen minutes or
so until mom came home, and when she did, he
was still freaking out. She just goes, what's going on.
I explained situation and told her I'm just doing what
(23:02):
she said and letting him cry it out till he
calms down. She said, that's not what she meant. I asked,
what did you want? She didn't really have an answer.
I told her I couldn't use discipline and I couldn't
calm him. You said, to let him go, he'd calm down,
but he hasn't yet. I made sure everything dangerous was
taken away, but I didn't know what else I could do. Now, respectively,
(23:24):
I could have picked up what he threw around, but
I wanted her to see what he was capable of,
and I wasn't going to risk getting hurt again from
taking things away. She looked upset, but didn't say anything
and just looked at him, still throwing his tam trum.
The baby wakes up and she goes to get her.
When she comes back to try and calm him down,
he screams to pick him up, and he gets her
(23:45):
and keeps going till she puts the crying baby on
the ground and picks him up. I was kind of
shocked she fed into it. I told her he's old
enough to know what he's doing. He knows that he'll
get what he wants when he does these things, and
it's only going to get worse. And if it's going
to continue, I'm going to continue to do nothing because
I won't risk getting hurt or the other kids in
the process. I showed her the bite mark and she
(24:08):
went pale a bit and said he did that. I said, yes,
he did. She took a breath and said, why don't
you go home for the day and I'll talk to
dad about this. When I came to work this morning,
there was a timeout share for him and I'm allowed
to use it at my desertion. Edit, so I will say,
because I told this in the comments, I only get
paid twenty two dollars an hour and it's low. I'm
(24:30):
quitting this job soon, or rather I already did. My
last week is in May. I promised i'd stay until then,
and then I have a much better paying job backed up.
And yes, I did get extra pay for the stairs incident.
Not the bite, but yes for the stairs. Am I
the jerk for not considering my family's schedule for my wedding.
My fiance, twenty eight female, and I, thirty one male,
(24:53):
have been together for over four years. We've always been
very vocal with everyone about having a destination wedding to
travel and weddings in the US are very expensive. We're
paying for everything ourselves and receiving no financial help from family.
All of our friends and family are pretty well off,
especially my mom, who owns a very successful business. Last year,
(25:14):
I finally popped the question to my now fiance. We
were ecstatic and we started planning immediately for the destination.
We initially decided on my fiance's hometown in Mexico. This
is where the first issue started. My mom was questioning
what there was to do around that area since they
wanted to bundle the wedding with a vacation, and she
didn't see the location as ideal. Second issue was that
(25:37):
it wasn't fair that my fiance's family got to have
the weddings so close to their home when my family
had to travel so far. So eventually we scratched Mexico
as a destination spot and went through with a more
fair place where both sides had to travel. We ended
up choosing Italy. Believe it or not, Italy is surprisingly
affordable compared to the US. Note we're paying for a
(25:58):
two nights stay in our venue for our our immediate family,
including siblings. I have six, my fiance has two. For
the date we chose our fifth anniversary, which is October
twenty twenty three, this date is sentimental to us, and
it was eighteen months away at the time and long
enough for everyone attending to plan their trip. This is
where the largest issue ensued with my mom. She was
(26:19):
extremely upset and blew up on me. Putting it mildly
because the date that we chose for our wedding coincided
with my brother who's sixteen high school football game, along
with activities from my other three siblings, who are fourteen
and seven. They accused us of being selfish and inconsiderate
for picking such an inconvenient date, especially for my brother
(26:40):
who's sixteen, since he's the quarterback of his team. According
to her, it was impossible for him to skip a
single game or practice, leaving him out of the wedding.
They've threatened to not attend our wedding unless we change
the date to summer or December to accommodate my siblings.
If we were to change it, it would increase the
cost for us and guessed significantly due to high travel season.
(27:01):
We chose this date because it meant something to us,
and moving it was non negotiable. My family still believes
that we are targeting them and purposefully excluding them from
the wedding. This has been very hard for me since
I'm a very non confrontational person, but I'm holding my ground.
Everyone else is excited and very supportive. Over forty people
have already aresvped and started planning their trips, but my
(27:23):
parents have not even bought tickets yet. Am I the
jerk for not changing my wedding date? And by consequence,
excluding my brother, not the jerk. Switch it back to Mexico.
If your family is going to be annoying anyway, at
least go with what you want one hundred percent. Edit
to add my other comment from down below. Some people
are getting heated, and it explains the rest of my thinking.
(27:45):
I honestly don't care for destination weddings myself. It seems
a little like inviting your family to your honeymoon, but
it's their wedding. If the younger siblings can't go, then
they can't go. That's the gamble of having a wedding
that's far away from home. I think people make entirely
too much out of weddings. It's the marriage that's important.
If it were me, I would get married by a
justice of the peace and spend all that money on
(28:07):
a trip to Italy, Greece or maybe Turkey with my
new spouse. Weddings cost way too much leave the family
at home. That's the problem with destination weddings. In order
for people to make it, they need to mess with
other stuff in their lives. Not a quick thing on
the weekend. They need to plan like a week before
and take off work and other annoying things. The more
kids people have, the harder it is money wise and
(28:30):
planning wise. No jerks here. You have four siblings in
school and made the choice to arrange a wedding halfway
around the planet during the middle of the school term.
Two of your siblings are in high school. There's zero
chance I'd be taking my high school kids out of
class for a week or more in the middle of
a term for a vacation. If I was your parent,
I wouldn't become into your wedding because I'd need to
(28:52):
stay at home with my school aged kids who were
attending school. Sounds like you just assume that your parents
and siblings would be okay with blowing off a week
of school in order to fly halfway around the planet
to see you get married. Looks like you assumed wrong.
School dates are well known and are not subject to negotiation.
Your brother can't plan to not have school that week,
(29:12):
even if he knows eighteen months in advance. That's not
how school works. It's absurd to fly from the US
to Europe for two nights. Have you not heard of
jet lag at all? I've done business trips like this
and it's possible, But brutal. It's not something I would
actually do by choice. You're the jerk. My boyfriend wants
his name on the mortgage, even though he's not contributing
(29:34):
towards the down payment. Little background. I just moved back
home from a large city to a smaller city, closer
to family for a better job. My boyfriend is currently
in the larger city where we rent a town home
while he's trying to find a job so he can
follow me. I'm currently looking to purchase a home in
this terrible buyer's market. My dad is insistent on buying
(29:54):
so I don't keep wasting money on renting. But the
market is really bad here. I found a house that
I I'm obsessed with outside of my budget, but my
dad is offering to help me with a down payment,
significantly allowing me to just repay him over time. My
boyfriend won't be putting any money down on a payment.
My boyfriend said that if his name isn't on the mortgage,
(30:15):
then he refuses to pay me rent when he moves
in with me. He also thinks that I shouldn't buy
a house right now since the market is so terrible
and he doesn't know if we'll like the area. Yet,
since I only grew up here and haven't lived here
since I was a kid, I feel like he's being
really controlling over the issue. But I'm trying to see
it from his side as well. He's getting his grandmother's
(30:35):
ring reset to propose, and he's really making the effort
to move down here. I know he feels left out
in the process, but I guess I just don't understand
why he can't wait to be put on the mortgage
until we're married. Edit. Thank you for all the responses,
and honestly thank you for the law, mortgage, deed help
and clarification. This is my first home and it's a
lot to take in and a lot to learn. Also,
(30:57):
not going to commit fraud. Repay over time. He quite
literally said, maybe pay him back after the house was
fully paid off and if I sold it while he
was still alive. It's truly a generous gift. I think
I said repay over time because it's a generous gift
and I feel unworthy to accept. But that's a personal
issue and we could be here all day. Everyone sucks here.
(31:18):
Here's what your boyfriend's post might look like. I'm in
a serious relationship with my girlfriend, and I'm about to propose.
She wants to move to a smaller city that she
grew up in. I'm not excited about the idea because
we've never lived there and I'm afraid it won't be
a good fit for us, But I'm willing to move
there because it's important to her. I'd like to rent
there for a bit before buying, to see if we
(31:39):
like living there in which neighborhoods we like. But because
her dad is insisting she'd buy a place, She's gone
ahead and found a house she wants to buy there,
and her dad is paying the down payment. She wants
me to move there with her and pay half of
the mortgage for a house I'll get no equity in
that I didn't help choose in a city where I
don't even have a job. Yet, I don't understand why
(31:59):
she's making these decisions with her dad and not with
her life partner. She's accusing me of being controlling when
she's the one who's making all the decisions without my input.
I feel like I've already sacrificed a lot by being
willing to move to her hometown with her, and now
I'm being steamrolled am I the jerk if I tell
her I won't pay the mortgage with her unless my
name is on the deed exactly. Plus, I'm worried I
(32:21):
won't have any rights living in her home and she
could just kick me out one day. Also, owning a
home is a lot more work. I've enjoyed being a
renter and not having to do yard work, worry about
repairs and such. She's really excited about a home we
really can't afford, but won't talk to me about the
details of how are I living together and me renting
from her will work. I'm beginning to wonder if this
(32:42):
is the right move for me. Would I be the
jerk if I told her I'd prefer to do long
distance for a while or rent separately when I first
move exactly. I feel so sorry for this dude now,
with everyone saying he's an ungrateful, controlling freak who wants
to steal her money, that he should just pay the
rent or be done, he just wanted to make his
life with his girlfriend find a new place proposed to her.
(33:05):
I'm sure if the situation would have been reversed him
buying the house, everyone would have called him the jerk.
Support our channel by joining as a member today and
we'll give you a shout out in our next video.
Or come watch this video next. You won't believe what
Karen does in that one.
Hey there, mister rhdder here, welcome back to another episode
of Redded podcast Stories. Our first story will be reading
today my mom stole eight thousand dollars from me and
open credit cards in my name, plus updates. After that,
am I the jerk for enrolling my stepdaughter in boarding
school despite my husband's wishes? And after that, don't let
your kid have consequences? Okay, Now, for every thumbs up,
(00:23):
this video gits one. Karen does not get to steal
eight thousand dollars from anyone, h not even share what
that could buy me considering inflation. So please smash that
like button and subscribe and turn on notifications for new
stories from Reddit every single day. My mom stole eight
thousand dollars from me and open credit cards in my name,
(00:44):
plus updates. I haven't talked to my mom for a
little over one year now, but this is the story
of my mom's lies. Growing up. My mom was always
in and out of jail for stealing. Last time she
was arrested was in twenty fifteen. I was nineteen at
that time. She always said said she stole to provide
for our family, but we never lived in a stable home.
She would just blow money on expensive gifts, then tell
(01:07):
us we aren't poor. We have this, How many poor
kids have this? As we lived from hotel to hotel
growing up, I became the financially responsible kid. I worked
multiple jobs, got good grades, and did community service. I
was able to save up eight five hundred dollars for
college with multiple scholarships. During my hard work in high school,
(01:27):
I also helped my mom with bills and paying for
whatever she needed help with. When I left for college,
she was arrested again and had to be dropped off
states away by my aunt. From my first day of college,
I asked my mom for my college money and she
said she would transfer the money when she got out.
When she got out, it all magically disappeared. She blamed
(01:48):
my dead grandmother for stealing my money. In twenty nineteen,
I discovered multiple credit cards and an apartment laid on
bills that were opened in my name. I cried to
my mom about all these issues. When she comforted me
and asked for more money, I gave her more money.
I graduated with my BA and went to grad school.
I was able to be in grad school for one
(02:09):
year with my savings before I needed to take grad
plus loans out. I applied, but was denied due to
all of the negative items on my credit score. My
mom told me to just pay it off. I didn't.
I dropped out instead. I was devastated, but I wasn't
going to pay for other people's fun ride. I called
all the credit companies and got the address for all
(02:30):
the credit cards. It was my mom's address. When confronted,
she broke down, saying it was my grandmother and how
dare I blame her for this? She demanded an apology,
and then it speaked to me for a week. My
grandmother passed before all of the credit cards were open.
I filed a police report against my mother. She doesn't
know yet, but when she finds out, I'm sure I
(02:52):
will receive the best kind of text message. We stopped
talking for another reason. Edit for all the comments, I
have not spoken to my mother for a year, almost
two years now. She's been blocked on everything. The reason
we don't talk is on a previous post I made
about how happy I am my boyfriend ruined my relationship
with her, to the comments asking about why I kept
(03:12):
giving her money. It was hard. It was either help
with the bills or have no electricity, water, gas, or
roof over mine in my brother's head. I didn't want
to be homeless again, and I didn't want my brother
to suffer either. I felt like I needed to help
my family because for so long I had the mentality
that blood was thicker than water. I also now know
that it isn't my responsibility. I was just young, and
(03:35):
I thought I was doing the best I could to
provide for my family from the ages of sixteen to
twenty three. I'm twenty six now. Credit stuff, I've gotten
a good amount taken off. Only two cards and one
bill are on my credit score. Thank you for all
of your support and kindness. Edit too, I am a
ball over age. I had recently unfreezed my credit card
(03:55):
account to apply for care credit to get an emergency
surgery done. Not even two months of unfreezing my credit,
my mom applied for a new credit card in my name.
I'm done. I always had a piece in me that
didn't want to press charges or push for it because
it was rough times in our lives and I knew
she was struggling to raise us. But now I see
(04:15):
no excuse other than she just doesn't want the responsibility
of living within her means. It's been two to three
years of no contact. I would like to say forget
you to Chase Bank. The card was being open with them,
and when I called to let them know it wasn't me,
they told me they will see if they can close
the account, but need a police report first. I asked
for the address to confirm it was my mom. They
(04:38):
kept denying my request for the address. I only got
it confirmed after I told the operator if I guessed
the darn address, would you just give me a yes
or no? Hey agreed and it was my mom's address.
I'm away for surgery for a while, but when I
get back home, I'm going to the police and requesting
to speak with a prosecutor. I'm done. I'm hurt and done.
(04:59):
I did my best to raise my credit score to
where it is now. I did my best to work
multiple jobs to help with the bills. I did my
best to be her emotional support no matter how bad
she treated me. I feel like this next step will
be cutting this one string. I left connected to her
out of sympathy, and of course it led to me
being taken advantage of again. I hope to give an
(05:19):
update on if the courts will be on my side. Edit.
I'm sadly states away for this surgery, which is why
I'm waiting till the surgery is over and I'm back
home recovering. I don't know if I can file this
police report in this state I am in and it
still be effective in the state I live in. I
know jurisdiction can be a problem. Edit too, thank you
for the advice. I'll be pressing charges right away. My
(05:41):
boyfriend is an attorney but doesn't work in the public area.
I do have friends from my law school days that
actually work in our country's prosecutor office, so I may
reach out to them for some advice. They just passed
the bar and are slowly getting into the routine. I
also don't like to bring this up much to passive
friends because it's just so embarrassing. My mom and I
haven't spoken almost two to three years. It feels so
(06:04):
long ago. I really don't know the timeline. Questions why
haven't I pushed for charges before? And why do I
keep letting this happen. I really don't know if many
will understand, but I've been conditioned to fear my mom
from a young age. She would punish me for not acting, speaking,
or thinking a certain way. If she thought I had
a negative thought about her, I was punished. I had
(06:24):
to beg and cry and comfort her that it wasn't true.
After it was over, I would have to hold my
mom and comfort her through the tears. The fear has
also been real. Even after cutting contact. It is stopped, thankfully,
but I've been afraid that if I make this move,
it will start again. What do I mean? She threatened
to get my boyfriend and friends expelled from law school
if they kept associating with me. We had to call
(06:47):
the school and have a talk about my mom. She
then threatened to report me to the IRS for tax fraud,
but I always paid my taxes. She sent messages to
my workplace. When I was a kid, I'd be in
the back seat as she drove past people's houses whom
she hated over and over to see what they were doing.
That fear that she could find where I live and
do this made my stomach turn. I was afraid to
(07:09):
push for these charges in the past because I wanted
to leave it behind and continue the peace I was living.
She stopped. I removed all those nasty things on my
credit and I was happy until now I know it
will never stop. After four years of not opening anything
in my name, she went back to it. So I'm
putting my foot down and taking this step. I understand
(07:29):
I should have pushed more earlier. I was scared a naive,
but I'm going to stop it today. Last update until
I get back home. I called my local police department
back home, saying I have an update for the identity
theft report I reported in twenty twenty one. They transferred
me over to the detective office and said I would
need to come in to make another report. I told
them I'm currently waiting to finish a surgical procedure and
(07:51):
will not be back home for a few days. They
said it was fine, so at this time I will
not be able to make the report until I get
back home. But I'm also happy because they I said,
I can talk to the detective when I come in
to file the other report. So I hoped to be
making a part four by the end of next month
with some good news. Update three, well, it's been a
mix of emotions the past few days. My surgery went
(08:13):
well and my recovery should be complete by next week.
I feel really good. Two. I got cancer. Didn't expect
this one skin cancer, which is super easy to treat
and to prevent if I keep up with the doctor appointments.
I got this weird ward removed. Got a call right
before I go into surgery saying it was cancer and
I would need to come in for some more testing
and body check. I would like to thank my mom
(08:35):
for having me in tanning beds at thirteen. She said
I was super pale, and I believed her. She also
didn't want people to think we didn't travel for spring break,
so all spring break I would be in a tanning
bed to look like we traveled. Where sunscreen kids. Three.
I got a puppy. Four. I went to the police
today and filed the report. Spoke to a detective too.
(08:55):
I gave them all of mine and my mother's information.
They asked if I would like to press criminal charge,
and I said yes. They're going to call the credit
card company to pull the report, and if Chase Bank
gives them the report without a subpoena, then we will
have an easy charge in closing of the case. If
Chase Bank wants a subpoena, then it will take longer
to close this I'm super happy I finally did this
(09:16):
and to hear that they may actually have charges to
press against her. So once I have more of an update,
i'll post again, but it looks like I may be
a couple of months before we get somewhere. Also, I
did talk with my brother. He knows and is aware
of the situation. He doesn't seem to care about his credit,
but he's also still young. I'm sure he will understand
soon and hopefully get his taken care of. Update. Police
(09:39):
called to let me know they will be going to
see her today or tuesday to talk about the theft.
If she admits to it, then we will have an
easy case. I told them on the phone she won't
admit to stealing. She would just blame someone else. The
detective wanted to know if she had a drug problem.
I told him no, she just can't live within her means.
If I get a call back that she has been arrested,
I will let you know. Update four. I got a
(10:02):
call this morning from the detective. He wanted to hear
my sight of the story again. I told him my
mom's history with theft. I told him I filed once
in twenty twenty one and nothing ever happened, how I
found this inquiry and how she did it the moment
I unfreezed my credit. He asked what did I want
him to do. I told him I would like charges.
He asked, if he goes to her place, will she
(10:22):
admit to this crime. I told him no. When I
confronted her about this, she had blamed my grandmother. Apparently
the woman had powers beyond the grave to open these
cards in my name. He said he'll be going down
today to interrogate her. If she admits to it, she
will be booked right there. If she doesn't, they will
just need the Chase credit report. I'm planning to go
(10:42):
to Chase to grab the report and hand it to
them myself tomorrow. I asked if she would know our address?
He said, if we go to court, my address would
be submitted as evidence against the identity theft, so she
would know where I lived. Thank goodness, we're renting right now,
so we agreed if we go to court, we will
see how long her sentences and plan to move out
before she's released. We know she will serve time because
(11:05):
this is her fourth time, and the judge will have
no sympathy. On a mom doing this to her daughter.
Max punishment in the US is fifteen years, but she
always takes the plea deal, so I can see her
serving either a couple of months or a year. It's
been a couple of hours and my stomach feels like
it's doing flips. My head is so dizzy, the air
feels so much heavier. I feel sick. I've been waiting
(11:27):
by my phone for a call, an update. Something. Did
she admit it is? She booked? What's happening next? The
detective then gave me the report number and I called
Chase Bank. Chase apparently hadn't processed the application, but after
my call, it was out on hold until further investigation.
With my report, I was able to have it denied
and removed from my credit score, so I have confidence
(11:49):
I can go into the bank tomorrow and snag that report.
I apologize for any grammar mistakes. I feel so lightheaded.
I'm on edge right now. I'll update again once I've
heard back from the police's update five. So this may
not be the update everyone wanted to hear. I didn't
get justice. She hasn't been arrested and no charges at
this time. I still do have a police report, but
(12:11):
I'm not going to push the police to go and
make an arrest. This update is just more information I've
recently discovered, more context. It wasn't just always my mom,
brother and I. When I was born, I shared a
small three bedroom apartment with my grandmother, her husband, my aunt.
In high school, my mom, me, and then my little
brother followed. My aunt went no contact with the family
(12:33):
in her later twenties, and I never knew why. It
hurt to lose someone I was close with. I heard
horrible rumors of things my aunt was doing for my mom,
and my mom would also let me know awful things
my aunt was saying about me. My aunt was on
and off in my life. After this no contact, well,
fast forward to present. I reached out to my aunt
to meet her. We talked and got everything cleared. My
(12:55):
mom stole my aunt and her father's identity. My aunt
had a lot of debt she didn't know about, and
when she found out it was my mom, she pressed charges.
This was the second time she was arrested. My aunt's husband,
who was a cop, arrested her. I knew he couldn't
stand my mom, but never knew why. My aunt then
gave me a list of family members who she also
(13:16):
stole their identities, and everyone in the family knew what
happened to me and my brother. The issue was, how
are we going to stop her? She was our mom.
My aunt told me she wished my mom would have
given us up so my brother and I could have
lived with her and had a normal life. I don't
know why, but those words broke me so much to
know I had family that knew we were being treated
(13:37):
like this, but couldn't do much to help us. To
know they wanted to save me and my brother. My
aunt then proceeded to tell me my father tried to
go to court to have my social Security number changed
and locked until I was eighteen. This way my mom
couldn't steal my identity. It obviously didn't work, and here
I am. She told me how happy and proud she
was of me. She told me she struggled when she
(13:58):
went no contact because she felt like she left her
babies behind and she was afraid of how we would
turn out. I love my aunt, and I'm so happy
I reached out. I'm even more angry with my mom
how badly she isolated us into her own delusional world
and in the end, destroyed our relationship. I told my
aunt I didn't care that we struggled in poverty. I
don't blame her for that. I blame her for how
(14:20):
she handled it and put so much pressure on two
kids to become billionaires for her to continue her reckless spending.
Am I the jerk for enrolling my stepdaughter and boarding
school despite my husband's wishes. I twenty nine female, married
Sam fifty one male, and I have one stepdaughter, Laura,
who's sixteen. Laura's mom, Kate, passed when she was a baby,
(14:42):
but Sam has always kept her image alive in Laura's
life by keeping Kate's family and friends in Laura's life.
Kate went to a boarding school when she was a
teen and even went back to teach there for a while.
It was the best time of her life, according to
video she took when she was there, and from what
her family and friends told us, Laura has a always
wanted to go there when she was a kid, but
we said no as it was too far in a
(15:04):
neighboring country and she was too young. But now that
she's older, she's more decided on going there. Sam keeps
saying no He's worried she might become distant from him
living so far away, and that she might fall into
bad company. I disagree. I think at sixteen she's more
than responsible enough, and it will only be for two years.
He still kept saying no, and Laura was pressuring me
(15:26):
to convince him. I kept being stuck between them. The
deadline kept coming nearer, and Laura kept crying to me
about it, begging me, so I decided to go ahead
and apply. She needed me to pay the application fee,
even though Sam was against it. He knew I was applying.
She got in and I went ahead and paid the tuition.
Sam is now very mad at me. He says I
(15:47):
had no right, and the mood around our house is tens.
Kate's parents agreed with me, as do my in laws,
but my sister in law says I had no right.
Am I the jerk? I don't know what to do.
How do I convince him? Edit? I am Laura's legal guardian,
so I can legally send her. Even though Laura doesn't
call me mom, she and I have a very close relationship.
(16:08):
The reason we are close is partly because I always
respected Kate and her memory and never tried to take over.
Kate is mom and will always be, but I'm important
to Laura too. Please stop undermining my role in her
life just because we're not related by blood. One reason
I applied is that if I didn't, she would never
get to apply again. The school doesn't accept students for
(16:28):
older grades, so it was now or never. Sam still
has till August to change his mind, but if he doesn't,
Laura knows she has to stay. The other reason is
that if I didn't, it would damage our relationship with Laura.
She has wanted this since she could remember. She grew
up watching videos Kate took when she was there. It's
her dream to go where her mom went to be
close to her. It's where Kate spent the best years
(16:51):
of her life and the last years of her life,
as she passed only four months after moving to our
current country and giving birth. If this sends up breaking
Sam and me up, it's a call I'm willing to
take as long as Laura gets delivered. Dream Edit two.
She hasn't gone yet. She doesn't go until September. I
just applied because it was the last call for applications.
Edit three. Judgment is I'm the jerk and fine, I
(17:14):
accept it, I still would have done the same. This
school was a massive part of Kate's life and identity.
Kate spent seven years of school there, went to a
university close by and worked at the school part time,
then worked there full time till she had to move
to our country to give birth to Laura, and four
months later she passed. Kate's passing really affected Sam, and
despite my insistence, he hasn't gone to therapy for it.
(17:36):
Sam's reasons for not letting Laura go have all to
do with his paranoia towards losing her like he lost Kate.
I believe I've done the best decision for Laura, and
these comments have only reinforced that. Most of the you're
the jerk votes have more to do with hatred of
step parents and shaming me for our age difference than
what was best for Laura. Edit four, logging off. Now,
(17:58):
I'll go talk to Sam about kid therapy. His paranoia
has been an issue with him and Laura before. He
even wanted to get the three sixty app one time,
but I said no, I have to do what's best
for her. If I have to pick between her happiness
and him, I will pick her every time. That was
not what I was expecting. I'm going with. Everyone sucks
here except Laura. Your husband sucks for not listening to
(18:21):
what Laura wants or being willing to discuss it with her.
You suck for going behind his back. I would say
this even if you were Laura's biological mom one parent.
Shouldn't you unilaterally decide something as big as sending a
kid to school in another country? Not the jerk, but whooh?
That age difference is a concern. You are doing right
by both Laura and Kate. Everyone sucks here. Look being
(18:45):
uncomfortable with a twenty two year age gap between your
husband and you isn't shaming. You should look up that
term if you're confused. It's about the power and balance
that exists when you are romantically involved with someone old
enough to be your parent. You can see it all
over your post, from his unwillingness to get therapy to
his controlling behavior with his daughter. The fact that you
(19:05):
felt you had to enroll her against his wishes says
a lot more than you think. This is not healthy
relationship behavior from either of you. Don't let your kid
have consequences, Okay, So I'm twenty three, female and a
nanny for the family I work for. There are seven kids,
all ranging from fourteen years old to ten months old.
(19:26):
I've been working for them for eight months and never
really had any issues. They're a good family for the
most part. A key part here is that the kids
are all homeschooled, so they do not get out a lot. Unfortunately,
that leads to mom and dad spoiling them quite a lot,
and since I've started, had a bit of a discipline issue.
They throw tantrums, throw things, and scream a lot. Finally,
(19:48):
Mom decided to put on some discipline because their tantrums
led to me getting an injury. I was pushed down
the stairs, so she implemented a timeout routine and it
was going well for almost everyone. There's where the story
truly begins. The second to youngest is two and a
half almost three. His tantrums are some of the worst,
and instead of really disciplining him, she coddles. If he
(20:10):
screams and yells, she just picks him up and gives
him whatever he wants. He will also throw things and
hid whoever's telling him no, and Mom doesn't do anything.
On Wednesday this week, Mom had an appointment, and when
he woke up from his nap and she wasn't there,
he freaked out. I try to calm him by playing games, food,
or reading books, but nothing worked. He just got louder
(20:32):
and more aggressive. He even got me and his siblings. Eventually,
he woke up the baby, and when I got her,
he even tried to get her. So, with no other
real options working to calm him down, I pick him up,
sit him on his bed, and said time out. You
do not behave this way. When you calm down, you
can come out. He finally is calming down after several
(20:53):
minutes and mom comes home. She was quite upset that
he got a time out because she says that he's
too young and doesn't know better. Now I understand he's young,
but I've been in nanny for a while and I've
learned two to three is normal age for discipline, so
they learn to know better. I only do a minute
per year age and only goes longer if they can't
calm down, though I check in every minute. She was
(21:15):
also upset I used his room as a time out.
Now that part I get and can understand that at
this age, associating time out with where he sleeps. I
can agree we don't do that, but I had to ask,
when he's acting like this, what do you want me
to do? She said, let her handle it if I'm
not there, give him what he wants. It's not worth
the fight. Okay, But what if it's something I can't give,
(21:38):
she replied, if you can just let him go through it,
he'll calm down quickly. I looked at her, like, are
you serious? You do realize how he can be right?
But okay, cute malicious compliance. The next day, Mom had
another appointment and she was gone when he woke up,
and of course he wanted her and only her. I said, sorry,
(21:58):
she's not here. Don't we play a game? He screams no.
I ask if he wants a snack. No, he screams
and starts slapping at my hands. I ask him to
go read a book or go to his siblings room
for playtime. He screams again and starts getting me. I
told him, please, don't do that, so he screams in
my face and goes off, throwing things at me and
(22:19):
everyone around, and just goes off. I tell everyone to
go to their rooms. I tried everything to calm him down,
and it didn't work. So I did exactly what she
told me, absolutely nothing. He continues his tirade, throwing things,
pulling things off shelves, and screaming. I obviously kept him
from things that would hurt him, like glass or ceramics,
and when he got on a table to push something,
(22:41):
I picked him up and put him down, though he
did bite me really hard when I did that, not
enough to bleed, but enough to leave a good mark.
I let this go on for about fifteen minutes or
so until mom came home, and when she did, he
was still freaking out. She just goes, what's going on.
I explained situation and told her I'm just doing what
(23:02):
she said and letting him cry it out till he
calms down. She said, that's not what she meant. I asked,
what did you want? She didn't really have an answer.
I told her I couldn't use discipline and I couldn't
calm him. You said, to let him go, he'd calm down,
but he hasn't yet. I made sure everything dangerous was
taken away, but I didn't know what else I could do. Now, respectively,
(23:24):
I could have picked up what he threw around, but
I wanted her to see what he was capable of,
and I wasn't going to risk getting hurt again from
taking things away. She looked upset, but didn't say anything
and just looked at him, still throwing his tam trum.
The baby wakes up and she goes to get her.
When she comes back to try and calm him down,
he screams to pick him up, and he gets her
(23:45):
and keeps going till she puts the crying baby on
the ground and picks him up. I was kind of
shocked she fed into it. I told her he's old
enough to know what he's doing. He knows that he'll
get what he wants when he does these things, and
it's only going to get worse. And if it's going
to continue, I'm going to continue to do nothing because
I won't risk getting hurt or the other kids in
the process. I showed her the bite mark and she
(24:08):
went pale a bit and said he did that. I said, yes,
he did. She took a breath and said, why don't
you go home for the day and I'll talk to
dad about this. When I came to work this morning,
there was a timeout share for him and I'm allowed
to use it at my desertion. Edit, so I will say,
because I told this in the comments, I only get
paid twenty two dollars an hour and it's low. I'm
(24:30):
quitting this job soon, or rather I already did. My
last week is in May. I promised i'd stay until then,
and then I have a much better paying job backed up.
And yes, I did get extra pay for the stairs incident.
Not the bite, but yes for the stairs. Am I
the jerk for not considering my family's schedule for my wedding.
My fiance, twenty eight female, and I, thirty one male,
(24:53):
have been together for over four years. We've always been
very vocal with everyone about having a destination wedding to
travel and weddings in the US are very expensive. We're
paying for everything ourselves and receiving no financial help from family.
All of our friends and family are pretty well off,
especially my mom, who owns a very successful business. Last year,
(25:14):
I finally popped the question to my now fiance. We
were ecstatic and we started planning immediately for the destination.
We initially decided on my fiance's hometown in Mexico. This
is where the first issue started. My mom was questioning
what there was to do around that area since they
wanted to bundle the wedding with a vacation, and she
didn't see the location as ideal. Second issue was that
(25:37):
it wasn't fair that my fiance's family got to have
the weddings so close to their home when my family
had to travel so far. So eventually we scratched Mexico
as a destination spot and went through with a more
fair place where both sides had to travel. We ended
up choosing Italy. Believe it or not, Italy is surprisingly
affordable compared to the US. Note we're paying for a
(25:58):
two nights stay in our venue for our our immediate family,
including siblings. I have six, my fiance has two. For
the date we chose our fifth anniversary, which is October
twenty twenty three, this date is sentimental to us, and
it was eighteen months away at the time and long
enough for everyone attending to plan their trip. This is
where the largest issue ensued with my mom. She was
(26:19):
extremely upset and blew up on me. Putting it mildly
because the date that we chose for our wedding coincided
with my brother who's sixteen high school football game, along
with activities from my other three siblings, who are fourteen
and seven. They accused us of being selfish and inconsiderate
for picking such an inconvenient date, especially for my brother
(26:40):
who's sixteen, since he's the quarterback of his team. According
to her, it was impossible for him to skip a
single game or practice, leaving him out of the wedding.
They've threatened to not attend our wedding unless we change
the date to summer or December to accommodate my siblings.
If we were to change it, it would increase the
cost for us and guessed significantly due to high travel season.
(27:01):
We chose this date because it meant something to us,
and moving it was non negotiable. My family still believes
that we are targeting them and purposefully excluding them from
the wedding. This has been very hard for me since
I'm a very non confrontational person, but I'm holding my ground.
Everyone else is excited and very supportive. Over forty people
have already aresvped and started planning their trips, but my
(27:23):
parents have not even bought tickets yet. Am I the
jerk for not changing my wedding date? And by consequence,
excluding my brother, not the jerk. Switch it back to Mexico.
If your family is going to be annoying anyway, at
least go with what you want one hundred percent. Edit
to add my other comment from down below. Some people
are getting heated, and it explains the rest of my thinking.
(27:45):
I honestly don't care for destination weddings myself. It seems
a little like inviting your family to your honeymoon, but
it's their wedding. If the younger siblings can't go, then
they can't go. That's the gamble of having a wedding
that's far away from home. I think people make entirely
too much out of weddings. It's the marriage that's important.
If it were me, I would get married by a
justice of the peace and spend all that money on
(28:07):
a trip to Italy, Greece or maybe Turkey with my
new spouse. Weddings cost way too much leave the family
at home. That's the problem with destination weddings. In order
for people to make it, they need to mess with
other stuff in their lives. Not a quick thing on
the weekend. They need to plan like a week before
and take off work and other annoying things. The more
kids people have, the harder it is money wise and
(28:30):
planning wise. No jerks here. You have four siblings in
school and made the choice to arrange a wedding halfway
around the planet during the middle of the school term.
Two of your siblings are in high school. There's zero
chance I'd be taking my high school kids out of
class for a week or more in the middle of
a term for a vacation. If I was your parent,
I wouldn't become into your wedding because I'd need to
(28:52):
stay at home with my school aged kids who were
attending school. Sounds like you just assume that your parents
and siblings would be okay with blowing off a week
of school in order to fly halfway around the planet
to see you get married. Looks like you assumed wrong.
School dates are well known and are not subject to negotiation.
Your brother can't plan to not have school that week,
(29:12):
even if he knows eighteen months in advance. That's not
how school works. It's absurd to fly from the US
to Europe for two nights. Have you not heard of
jet lag at all? I've done business trips like this
and it's possible, But brutal. It's not something I would
actually do by choice. You're the jerk. My boyfriend wants
his name on the mortgage, even though he's not contributing
(29:34):
towards the down payment. Little background. I just moved back
home from a large city to a smaller city, closer
to family for a better job. My boyfriend is currently
in the larger city where we rent a town home
while he's trying to find a job so he can
follow me. I'm currently looking to purchase a home in
this terrible buyer's market. My dad is insistent on buying
(29:54):
so I don't keep wasting money on renting. But the
market is really bad here. I found a house that
I I'm obsessed with outside of my budget, but my
dad is offering to help me with a down payment,
significantly allowing me to just repay him over time. My
boyfriend won't be putting any money down on a payment.
My boyfriend said that if his name isn't on the mortgage,
(30:15):
then he refuses to pay me rent when he moves
in with me. He also thinks that I shouldn't buy
a house right now since the market is so terrible
and he doesn't know if we'll like the area. Yet,
since I only grew up here and haven't lived here
since I was a kid, I feel like he's being
really controlling over the issue. But I'm trying to see
it from his side as well. He's getting his grandmother's
(30:35):
ring reset to propose, and he's really making the effort
to move down here. I know he feels left out
in the process, but I guess I just don't understand
why he can't wait to be put on the mortgage
until we're married. Edit. Thank you for all the responses,
and honestly thank you for the law, mortgage, deed help
and clarification. This is my first home and it's a
lot to take in and a lot to learn. Also,
(30:57):
not going to commit fraud. Repay over time. He quite
literally said, maybe pay him back after the house was
fully paid off and if I sold it while he
was still alive. It's truly a generous gift. I think
I said repay over time because it's a generous gift
and I feel unworthy to accept. But that's a personal
issue and we could be here all day. Everyone sucks here.
(31:18):
Here's what your boyfriend's post might look like. I'm in
a serious relationship with my girlfriend, and I'm about to propose.
She wants to move to a smaller city that she
grew up in. I'm not excited about the idea because
we've never lived there and I'm afraid it won't be
a good fit for us, But I'm willing to move
there because it's important to her. I'd like to rent
there for a bit before buying, to see if we
(31:39):
like living there in which neighborhoods we like. But because
her dad is insisting she'd buy a place, She's gone
ahead and found a house she wants to buy there,
and her dad is paying the down payment. She wants
me to move there with her and pay half of
the mortgage for a house I'll get no equity in
that I didn't help choose in a city where I
don't even have a job. Yet, I don't understand why
(31:59):
she's making these decisions with her dad and not with
her life partner. She's accusing me of being controlling when
she's the one who's making all the decisions without my input.
I feel like I've already sacrificed a lot by being
willing to move to her hometown with her, and now
I'm being steamrolled am I the jerk if I tell
her I won't pay the mortgage with her unless my
name is on the deed exactly. Plus, I'm worried I
(32:21):
won't have any rights living in her home and she
could just kick me out one day. Also, owning a
home is a lot more work. I've enjoyed being a
renter and not having to do yard work, worry about
repairs and such. She's really excited about a home we
really can't afford, but won't talk to me about the
details of how are I living together and me renting
from her will work. I'm beginning to wonder if this
(32:42):
is the right move for me. Would I be the
jerk if I told her I'd prefer to do long
distance for a while or rent separately when I first
move exactly. I feel so sorry for this dude now,
with everyone saying he's an ungrateful, controlling freak who wants
to steal her money, that he should just pay the
rent or be done, he just wanted to make his
life with his girlfriend find a new place proposed to her.
(33:05):
I'm sure if the situation would have been reversed him
buying the house, everyone would have called him the jerk.
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