December 8, 2025 • 32 mins
In today’s episode of Reddit Stories Podcast, a wild Karen completely loses it. You won’t believe how this one ends! Sit back, relax, and enjoy this binge-worthy Reddit Stories Podcast, featuring Karen freakouts, entitled people stories, and pro revenge tales.
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📌 **Every episode dives into trending Reddit stories, insane Karen freakouts, and dramatic pro revenge stories! We cover the wildest situations from r/EntitledPeople, r/AITA, and r/EntitledParents. If you love binge-worthy podcast compilations, long-form storytelling, and Reddit drama stories, you’re in the right place!
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🎧 Listen to More Reddit Stories Podcast Episodes Here:
👉 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/5ZVzMm0Pr3bwlM26VuVv8J
👉 Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/mr-redder/id1516821033
📌 **Every episode dives into trending Reddit stories, insane Karen freakouts, and dramatic pro revenge stories! We cover the wildest situations from r/EntitledPeople, r/AITA, and r/EntitledParents. If you love binge-worthy podcast compilations, long-form storytelling, and Reddit drama stories, you’re in the right place!
👉 📺 Love These Stories? Watch Full Video Episodes on YouTube! → https://www.youtube.com/@MrRedderYT
🎵 Music Credit: https://soundcloud.com/lakeyinspired
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/reddit-stories-podcast-mr-redder--5571651/support.
Enjoyed this story? Follow the show and leave a quick rating.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey there, mister Redder here, welcome back to another episode
of Reddit podcast Stories. Our first story will be reading today.
Karen wife is jealous that I'm performing husband duties for
my friend. After that, a new manager was older than me,
so they knew the best way to run an event.
And after that, am I the jerk for cutting back
on my work hours to prove a point to my wife? Now,
(00:22):
for every thumbs up this video gets one, Karen doesn't
get to decide who her husband is friends with. You
better not have been texting my sister Sharon again, Reddit boy,
so please smash that like button and subscribe and turn
on notifications for new stories from Reddit every single day.
Karen wife is jealous that I'm performing husband duties for
my friend. I thirty six male, have a longtime friend,
(00:46):
thirty four female, who I live about four blocks from.
We've always been very close. Her husband passed three years
ago after a nine month battle with brain cancer, during
which she was his full time caretaker. I was also
very close with her husband, and since I lived close by,
I would go over and help as much as I could,
be it cooking, cleaning, taking the kids out to do things,
(01:06):
yard work, and maintenance around the house, especially as he
declined and required round the clock care. After he passed,
I've continued to help my friend and her kids, and
I spent a lot of time with her kids, who
are now eleven and nine. Last year, I married my wife,
who I started dating after my friend's husband had passed,
so this isn't anything new. Since then, there have been
(01:27):
consistent arguments about me performing husband duties for my friend.
Some examples of the things she was upset about. My
friend called because when she woke up a pipe had
burst in the ceiling and she couldn't find a plumber
who would come out that day. I'm a contractor, so
I was able to call a friend and he went
over asap, and then I headed over and I helped
her clean up the mess and helped with her talking
(01:48):
to her insurance and hiring a remediation company. After that
was done, I helped her demo and replace the drywall.
Her car broke down, so I picked up her kids
from school and went and played basketball with them while
she got it to the shop and grabbed a rental.
And then the boys wanted to have a pizza party,
so he grabbed some pizzas and had dinner at the park.
She was re landscaping her backyard and putting in some
(02:09):
raised planter beds, and I went over on my.
Speaker 2 (02:11):
Day off to help her.
Speaker 1 (02:12):
My wife is always welcome, she doesn't usually want to go,
and instead she thinks that I should let her figure
it out because she's a big girl and needs to
stop acting like I'm her husband. She's even gone as
far as suggesting that my friend wants to steal me
away from my wife because she needs someone to take
care of her eta. I met this friend and her
husband in college while they were dating and I was
(02:33):
in a long term relationship. I was a groomsman in
their wedding and I am the godfather of both their sons,
and I was asked to be before both were born.
No jerk's here. I have a friend who does similar
things for me since my husband passed, and I know
that he's trying to look out for me because he
was my husband's best friend. I really appreciate his help,
but I would draw the line at inviting him to
(02:55):
stay for pizza or hang out with my kids in
case his wife, who's a really cool person, thought it
was too much. If your wife is starting to feel uncomfortable,
then you need to dial it back a bit, save
your help for the big things like major do it
yourself projects, and keep up with your friends socially by
inviting her over to your house to hang out with
you and your wife together. Info, are you helping out
(03:16):
and spending time with your friend more than you have
free time to relax with your wife. Have you ever
canceled plans with your wife to help your friend? Have
you tried to involve your wife in some of these
activities like the meal with the kids, or do you
keep it so your involvement with your friend and her
kids is separate? Have you not considered that your wife
probably expected your assistance and involvement in your friend's life
(03:36):
to reduce, if not stop completely after you were married.
Speaker 2 (03:40):
I would be.
Speaker 1 (03:41):
Asking if they're still spending special time together, going on dates,
giving time for them as a couple when these aren't
him play A person starts to wonder exactly if OP
skipping off to have his cup filled by friends and
the kids and his wife is a second thought, there's
a problem.
Speaker 2 (03:58):
One hundred percent.
Speaker 1 (03:59):
Wife said I'm feeling things and OP went full defensive
protector mode over his second family and not his wife.
Speaker 2 (04:06):
Op. You're the jerk. You're the jerk.
Speaker 1 (04:09):
I say that because there have been many reasonable comments
posted here and I haven't seen a single one that
asked you to go no contact with the boys or
your friends. But you've shown no acceptance of any type
of compromise or any validation whatsoever of your wife's feelings.
You simply came here for validation that you're right and
she's wrong. That says to me that you value your
second family over her. I'm expecting to be downvoted, but honestly,
(04:33):
divorce your wife. She's not your priority. You already have
a family. Hope you and your late bestie's wife are
happy together, and I hope your wife finds a husband
who puts her first.
Speaker 2 (04:43):
You're the jerk. You're the jerk.
Speaker 1 (04:46):
It's one thing to help a friend when needed, but
you seem to have a second family with this woman
and her kids. The fact that your wife is invited
to see the four of you being a family and
she's the outsider doesn't make it any better. An emergency
is one thing. Helping out with the gardening is a
horse of a different color. You're the jerk when my
husband and I got married, we vowed to protect each
(05:07):
other's heart. We vowed to prioritize each other, thus our
marriage and family above all things. Whenever a situation arises,
it always boils down to how it will affect us
in our marriage. Communicate, compromise, and set healthy boundaries. I'm
not implying for you to totally cut them out of
your life, but set some boundaries that are acceptable to
your wife. Please don't make her feel like the third
(05:28):
wheel in her own marriage, watching on the sideline as
her husband plays family in front of her. Reassure her
that she and your family will always be your priority
as it should be. You married her, you made your
vow to her. She's your wife and partner and will
be the mother to your future kids. Be the godfather
to those kids. But please don't burn your family to
keep your friend's family warm. It's you're the jerk. Priorities
(05:51):
and boundaries should have been established from the start. A
new manager was older than me, so they knew the
best way to run an event. I used to work
part time for my university running student events. Experience is
the best teacher. I had participated in these events as
a student assisted in these events under someone else as
part of my scholarship, and as a staff member ran
(06:11):
the events myself. We had a new college head who
was much older, approximately fifty to sixty, while everyone else
was in their early twenties. This woman was the most pigheaded,
arrogant fool you can imagine, and despite being new, she
wouldn't sit back and observe how things worked or listen
to those of us on our team who had been
there for years. No matter what you told her, when
(06:31):
she announced something that wouldn't work or would cause problems,
the answer was always the same, I'm older, so I
know best. Didn't matter if it would take you longer
to do it her way or in one case it
was technically legal. Of course, mistakes that we had warned
her what happened were always someone else's fault or swept
under the rug. During event planning, one look at the
(06:52):
schedule told me she hadn't allocated the team properly. Email
exchange me hm. Probably not a good idea to have
the whole team in an hour before the event, most
of them standing around doing nothing. Best to get five
or so people in for setup, most of the team
in for running event and hold back another three to
four for cleanup. College Head, No, I won't everyone in
(07:14):
helping out equally an hour before the event. Me, they're
only meant to do two hours of work per event.
If you have them an hour early for a two event,
that's three hours. They'll all leave before cleanup. The slackers
will slack off, and the proactives will end up doing everything.
Speaker 2 (07:29):
Her. I'm older than you, I know best. Just do
as you're told.
Speaker 1 (07:35):
Q malicious compliance. Me fine, but I've got some personal
business to go directly after the event. I'll handle procurement
and set up, but we'll need to leave right after
the event is over. Her, That's fine, onto other business.
Day of the event. The whole team showed up an
hour before the setup as expected. Five or so did
(07:55):
all the set up work, while most of the team
just stood around on their phones and got bored and
wondered off. It was not the team member's fault for
standing around. Only so many people can do meal prep
and set up tables without getting in each other's way.
Ten minutes before the event. College Head shows up and
everything's running smoothly. Event was a lot of fun. Some
of the team continued to wonder off, Some ran the events,
(08:18):
some participated. I was running around as a gopher, letting
the college head take credit for the event in front
of everyone, not doing any work, mind you, but taking
credit for it. I made sure to remind her I
had to leave right at the end of the event
for her personal business in front of the other college heads.
Several times, to be extra spiteful, I neglected to stop
(08:39):
several team members from wondering off who had done no
work other than stand around talking and eating, and encourage
several people who had definitely done two hours of work
to call it a night and thank them for their help.
Forgetful me, I also didn't tell team members standing around
during events to start cleaning up as things were finishing.
All the free food was gone, all the games were over.
(09:00):
Both students and team members were wandering off into the night,
and all of a sudden, college head wait, where are
you going? There's so much mess, and we've got to
put away all of the tables and tidy up the
different games, but everyone has left. Me. Hmm, yes, we
probably should have saved up a few team members to
do clean up, but they've all already done their two hours. Anyway,
(09:22):
like I told you earlier, I've got some personal business
to attend directly after the event, so i'll see you tomorrow.
Her What personal business is it? This will take over
an hour to do all on my own me. I'm sorry,
but I said personal business because I wasn't comfortable discussing
it with you or the team about what it actually was.
But it is quite personal, and I'm going to be laid.
(09:44):
I wandered off home for my personal business of closing
all of my curtains and playing Xbox, chuckling at the
thought of that arrogant woman having to do all of
that work by herself. The formal complaint she put in
for me leaving didn't really go anywhere, as I just
forwarded the email exchange to manage. Sadly, pigheaded people are
pig headed because they don't learn no matter what. I
(10:05):
eventually quit, and a few months later was introduced to
my replacement's replacement, who was also ready to quit. Am
I the jerk for cutting back on work to prove
a point to my wife? My wife is usually an angel,
but has recently gotten into a friendship with a woman
who I personally believe is a bad influence on her,
not in a patronizing way, more of a lay down
(10:26):
with dogs, get up with fleas types of situation. I
never said anything about her because, frankly, it doesn't affect me.
Until it did a few months ago, my wife began
pressuring me to do more around the house. Before I
get an instant, you're the jerk. We already split chores
in childcare. Admittedly she had a bigger cut than I
because she's a stay at home mom, but I do
(10:47):
most of the cooking, breakfasts and dinners, lunches, her responsibility
for her and the boys. I take out the garbage,
and I do laundry, and I deep clean the bathrooms
once a week. I do also help with our boys
homework and such. She insists that I'm not doing enough
and that I should be doing more around the house.
I tried having discussions with her, asking what she expected
from me, namely, all chores and child rearing should be
(11:10):
my duty, it seems, and for months it seemed to
be going nowhere. She used words when she was speaking
to me, which made it feel manipulative. It boiled over
when we were out with friends one night and she
began talking about how I never helped out and how
I use her as a house slave. Her words, I
will admit I saw red. This next part is where
I may be the jerk. I didn't say anything that night,
(11:32):
but the next day I asked my boss to be
given reduced hours for the next little bit due to stress,
and I took over everything in the house. I cooked
breakfast and made lunch for the boys before I drove
them to school. I cleaned the house top to bottom.
I did every dish we had twice, and so on.
My wife was blindingly happy and bragged to her friend
that she finally had warned me in she didn't lift
(11:55):
a finger for around a month. Then she began asking
why we never went on dates anymore, and complaining that
she wanted to get her nails done as they were
growing in. I explained that I had to take that
out of our budget so we could continue to afford
everything else, but we could absolutely have a movie night
in and I could paint her nails for her. She
was unhappy with that solution, so I asked her if
(12:15):
she would want to get a part time job to
pay for either luxuries. You would have thought I had
asked her if she wanted to join a coult. She
then asked if I could just pick up more shifts
at work to cover her other expenses and use the
phrase be a man, which I found more than a
little insulting. I then asked her if she would be
willing to go back to splitting the chores and such,
which is when she began to catch on that the
(12:36):
two were related. She yelled at me that I was
being a manipulative jerk for doing this, and even claimed
it was financial mistreatment. I stood strong for a while,
but now I'm questioning my methods because even I feel
what I did was a bit underhanded. So am I
the jerk? You're the jerk for so many reasons. First Off,
you have no right to decide who your wife gets
(12:57):
to be friends with, and you also sound extremely judgmental
by the way you talk about her friend. If her
friend is helping her gain new insights and perspectives on
life that you don't agree with, that sounds like a
you problem. Secondly, it's obvious your wife was feeling unappreciated.
She's probably so used to the workload that you dump
on her that she didn't realize it before, but now
(13:19):
that she's gained the courage to discuss her feelings with you,
you decide that you're going to stop working your normal
hours in order to get back at her. Thirdly, if
you actually tell her that she can't get her nails
done because you had to remove it from your budget,
then I'm sorry, but you seriously need to find a
better paying job. Why did you even start a family
if you can't afford to take care of them. I'm
(13:39):
proud of the friend for waking your wife up to
the value that she brings to this relationship, and I
hope that she leaves you and finds a man who
will treat her like the queen that she is. I
also hope she takes you to the cleaners in court
so that you will have to go back to working
your big boy hours at your joke of a job.
Am I the jerk for moving out after my parents
told me to pay rent? This story happened almost a
(14:01):
year back, and when I told my friends about it,
they said I should post it here because they were
split fifty to fifty. So I, nineteen mail moved out
of my parents house about a year ago. There was
nothing wrong in my life. I had a good upbringing,
I loved being home. I had a lot of friends
and my parents were loving, or so I thought. Anyways,
I was going to have a big eighteenth birthday, as
(14:22):
it's the legal age where I stay in Australia and
means you go from a boy to a man, kid
to adult. I had a venue rented out and I
had family and friends coming from all over to celebrate
with me. We had a blast that night. I had
my first drink and almost made up my last. I
don't remember anything from that night, but from the photos
that I've seen, it looked like I had a good night,
(14:43):
so I was happy. A few days after that night,
my parents set me down to have a talk. They
told me that I'm a man now and that I've
been working a lot of hours and yet they haven't
received anything. They told me that as soon as I
started working, they expected me to help pay rent. Obviously,
I didn't know any of that because I didn't get
told that. They told me that I should have known better,
(15:04):
but now that I'm eighteen, they expect me to help
with the rent. Honestly, I didn't mind helping them if
they asked. I was sixteen when I got my first
job at McDonald's and I'm now working in construction. But
they made it seem like I was in the wrong
for not giving them money. And I get where they're
coming from, but from my perspective, all I had seen
was green. All I saw was a triple digit paycheck
(15:26):
that I wanted to spend straight away. Anyways, I told
them i'd start helping them from now on, but it
wasn't good enough for them. They told me that I
had to pay them back all of the money that
I should have given them when I first started working,
which was almost ten thousand dollars. I said no, flat out,
and they got mad. They told me that either I
pay rent and pay them back what I owed, or
(15:46):
I move out and find my own place.
Speaker 2 (15:48):
So that's what I did.
Speaker 1 (15:50):
I moved out a few days after to my friend's
house for a bit until I found my own apartment
and have been living here for about eight to ten months.
As soon as I moved out, I got bombarded with
calls and texts saying that I disrespected them by not
paying them what I owed and by making it harder
for them to live now that they don't have someone
washing or doing their laundry. Taking out their rubbish and
all the other little stuff.
Speaker 2 (16:11):
They're both in.
Speaker 1 (16:12):
Their early forties and are more than capable of doing it.
My friends asked me why I never introduced them to
my parents and told them what I've told you. Some
of them already hated my parents, and some of them
said it was my duty as their son. I honestly
didn't know I had to give them my money or
help out. I would have if they would have asked,
but I feel like they just disrespected and tried to
(16:32):
gaslight me into giving them money. I just need to
know if I'm the jerk or not.
Speaker 2 (16:37):
Edit.
Speaker 1 (16:37):
A lot of people have asked me what my cultural
background is, as if it has something to do with
my situation. My mother's from Chile and my dad is Samoan.
As I know of both cultures do expect help, but
mostly in the form of chores and keeping the house clean.
It isn't until you're eighteen and still living there that
you're expected to pay rent. I do have siblings, and
they had jobs before they were eighteen too. They were
(17:00):
never made to pay rent before they were eighteen, nor
did my parents ask for backdated rent. Just wanted to
clear up the air with some frequently asked questions at
it too. As some of you have pointed out, it
is too my better judgment that I should have helped
out without having to be told. I will take that
as a fault of mine. But what I won't accept
and can now clearly see that backdating rent to a miner,
(17:21):
which is already bad in itself, will never be acceptable,
and I stand firm on my decision of not pain
and moving out. I do, however, have a family dinner
in a few days with my parents and siblings, so
if you want an update after that, I'll be happy
to make one. Thanks for all the help and support.
It makes me happy knowing that I made the right
choice and to have unbiased opinions on the matter, not
(17:41):
the jerk. I was going to say, no jerks here
until they told you that you owed them ten thousand
dollars for backdated rent payments. You mentioned this, and it's
absolutely insane, especially since they only told you about helping
with rent after you turned eighteen. They shouldn't start charging
you as soon as you get a job at sixteen.
It's typical to ask for help with rent after your
(18:02):
kid turns eighteen. It isn't typical to start charging your
kid for rent at the age of sixteen. The moment
they get a job and say nothing for two years,
you owe your parents nothing.
Speaker 2 (18:12):
Op.
Speaker 1 (18:13):
So they expected backdated rent from when you were sixteen
to eighteen.
Speaker 2 (18:17):
Not the jerk.
Speaker 1 (18:18):
They're responsible for paying for your living costs as a miner.
My parents are demanding I raise their grandchild, so I
twenty seven female was estranged from my deceased sister for
five years after she had an affair with my fiance
that not only I found out about but resulted in
a pregnancy. I cut the two of them out of
my life and declared that they were done to me.
(18:40):
They had a kid who is now four, but maybe
close to five now. I'm not sure. I've never met
their kid. I never wanted to meet the kid or
be in their life. My parents knew their grandchild and
supported the child. While my sister and ex were alive,
they were on and off. After I left him. I
heard from friends that their breakups were quite explosive. When
they both recently passed in an accident, people were shocked,
(19:03):
but also kind of not because a lot of people
assumed they were arguing and not focusing on the road,
their kid went into foster care. My parents tried to
take their kid in but were denied on the grounds
of health and mobility. The kid's paternal relatives did not
want to take them in. No surprise is there, though,
and so my parents turned to me. I'm now engaged
again to Luke, and we bought our forever home last year.
(19:26):
We're stable and happy, and my parents believe I slash
we should take in their grandchild. I told them I
would not be a good fit to raise the kid,
and I was sorry, but that was the end of
the discussion as far as I'm concerned. Luke told them
that he was with me on that. My parents went
behind my back to try and talk him into it,
but he told me and I told them to stop.
(19:47):
They begged me again to reconsider and said, imagine how
nice it would be to know my nibbling, to get
to be there, to have a kid who is part
of our family, kept in our family and raised lovingly
around people who want the best for them. I told
them that that's not a job for me and to
let it go. A few days went by and I
thought maybe they'd drop it. Then they called and told
(20:07):
me that they think about how good it will look
for me, the betrayed sister and ex fiance, to have
enough love and compassion to raise the kid that was
conceived out of said betrayal and love them and be
the best mom.
Speaker 2 (20:20):
To that kid who could exist.
Speaker 1 (20:22):
They said, people would think I'm a saint and would
always think of me as an incredible person. I told them,
I am no saint. I do not want to be
a saint. I don't need to be seen as some incredible,
amazing person. And I'm not going to raise their grandkid
just to look good to other people, and they need
to stop asking me to. They told me I was
heartless and asked how I could not care at all
(20:42):
about a kid who is my own flesh and blood
and who's been tossed around the system in just a
few weeks because, according to them, the kid has been
in four homes already. They said, I should not be
able to turn my back on family like this, and
I should have more compassion for them who were told
by the authorities that they will not be allowed to
raise their grandkid. Am I the jerk not the jerk?
(21:03):
As sad as it is, having the kid at home
will remind you of your ex and sister's betrayal, Plus
they're passing. I would be insulted by the fact that
they think you should do it to look good.
Speaker 2 (21:13):
Not the jerk. This kid is not your flesh and blood.
The kid is theirs.
Speaker 1 (21:18):
I'm sorry for the grief they're putting you through, not
the jerk. I can't imagine to betrayed ex to be
a good stepmother for an orphaned kid, least when the
person went no contact with family of that betrayal sounds
more like the ideal set up for an evil stepmother.
Am I the jerk for assuming my friend was keeping
her partner away because I didn't like him when actually
(21:39):
he didn't like me. I thirty eight female, have known
Alie forty female for fifteen years. We first met at
work when we were single and the youngest people there.
We became good friends and socialized together and still do.
Ali then met her partner, Matt, who she is still
with years later. He does not share her interests. He's
an avid football supporter UK and very anti the rival
(22:02):
football team. Even when he doesn't go to watch matches live,
he watches at the pub with male friends. He plays
sports with his friends. She's a football widow. She likes
going to the theater and to dinner. He'll go to
dinner with her, but doesn't much enjoy the theater unless
it's a serious play. She likes musicals, and she ends
up going with female friends. She says she doesn't mind
(22:23):
they aren't joined at the hip, and she has plenty
of friends and relatives who enjoy going to the theater
with her, and that she doesn't want to go to football.
I wonder I'm known for being brutally honest. When she
introduced me to Matt, she asked my opinion, and I
gave it. I didn't really see them together. I didn't
really like that he drinks and swears. He has a
professional job, but isn't very refined unlike her, and I
(22:46):
found him a bit difficult to connect to. At the time,
she was hurt, but got over it and generally just
engineered it, so I never really saw him. He was
always busy when I organized a party, et cetera. They
now have two sons, and he looks after them when
she comes out with her friends. To be honest, more recently,
my opinion of him is improved. He seems to be
(23:07):
a really good dad to the kids, and they clearly
adore him. They are also football mad. It took me
longer to meet my significant other, Edward, but I now
have and we just got engaged. Allie and Matt both
attended our engagement party. Edward actually likes football and ended
up getting on really well with Matt.
Speaker 2 (23:25):
Later, I asked Allie if she'd.
Speaker 1 (23:26):
Be up for doing something as couples as Edward and
Matt got on so well, she was noncommittal. A few
weeks later, I tried to arrange something and she accepted
for herself, but Matt was busy. I explained I wanted
to do something with the four of us when he
was free, but she kept stalling.
Speaker 2 (23:43):
I pushed it.
Speaker 1 (23:44):
Maybe I shouldn't have, and she said it wasn't a
good idea because he and I didn't really get along.
I said it was okay. I changed my opinion more
recently and Edward likes him. She looks surprised and then
awkwardly let me know it was because he didn't really
like me. She thought I knew I didn't, and I
was upset. This was news to me. I asked her
(24:05):
why she was embarrassed, but said he found me judgmental
and too much. I don't even know what that means.
A few other examples as well. I was hurt and
I told her I had assumed she kept us apart
because I didn't like him, not the reverse. She said
that we didn't get on, so what difference did it make.
I'm beyond hurt and did react badly, and I told
(24:26):
her some honest truths about him. I regret this now
and I tried to apologize, but she won't return my calls.
Speaker 2 (24:33):
Am I the jerk?
Speaker 1 (24:34):
You're the jerk, brutally honest as always code for excuse
to be a jerk, and now you're upset that your
very own behavior got flipped on you and you doubled
down when told. So maybe this is the time for
some honest self reflection. Let me get this straight. You
said a bunch of incredibly rude things to someone's new partner,
then one day decided you like them actually and didn't
(24:56):
realize that everything you've ever done to them caused them
to form an opinion of you. My girl, Every person
who is not you and the world has a mind
of their own and exists in the world outside of
how they relate to your life. They all have deep
in our worlds just as complex as your own. Not
everything is about you. Oh, and you're the jerk. You're
the jerk. You can be honest with friends, tactfully, not brutally.
(25:20):
You can date a person and keep your own separate
interests but still find that person interesting. How can you
be surprised that someone you didn't like for years is
returning your vibe? Am I the jerk for laughing at
my girlfriend when she suggested I should offer to pay
the bill for her family. I'm twenty three mail My girlfriend,
who's twenty one, and I have been together for a
year and a half. Her family is super sweet and
(25:42):
I get along great with them.
Speaker 2 (25:44):
Now.
Speaker 1 (25:44):
My girlfriend's dad is pretty well off. Every time I've
gone out to dinner with her family, he always foots
the bill. Her family has been great to me. They
always welcomed me into their home. I went on a
vacation with them back in winter. Her parents paid for
our hotel for the entire week. Her dad gave her
money for food, granted it was for her, her brother,
and myself. I also only paid half of the flight
(26:07):
because my girlfriend offered to pay for the other half.
The only thing I really had to pay for is
food a couple of days out of the trip, which
my girlfriend pitched in and helped.
Speaker 2 (26:15):
Me with too.
Speaker 1 (26:16):
This past weekend, my girlfriend, myself, her younger brother, and
her dad went out for brunch. I was spending the
weekend with her anyway, so she invited me to join them.
Before we left, her and I were talking and she
mentioned how maybe I should offer to pay for brunch,
as in all four of us. She assured me that
her dad would one thousand percent refuse to let me pay,
(26:36):
but he would probably really appreciate and respect me for offering.
Now here's where I may sound like the jerk, but
I honestly laughed at her suggesting this. I told her
I would offer to cover hour, her and my portion
of the bill, but to expect me to offer to
cover the entire bill is obscured.
Speaker 2 (26:53):
Sure, I work.
Speaker 1 (26:54):
A full time job and all of that, but I
have my own bills and stuff to worry about too,
and she wants.
Speaker 2 (26:59):
Me to offer it.
Speaker 1 (26:59):
Toy, I want one hundred and fifty dollars brunch. She
told me that if her dad accepted, would she one
hundred percent guaranteed that he wouldn't that she would send
me half for the bill. I continued to laugh and
told her I'm not doing that. I'll offer to pay
for our half, and that's it. I asked her, if
the roles were reversed, if she would offer to pay
the bill for my family, eight of us in total,
including my girlfriend. She said, that's completely different. That's eight people,
(27:24):
not four. We both have very different upbringings in terms
of the situation I mentioned about paying the bill. She
grew up with a decently well off family where they
would constantly argue on who would pay the bill because
everyone in her family would always offer out of courtesy.
I grew up very differently, as I come from a
family that was not financially well off. If someone offered
(27:44):
to pay the bill, you just sit back and let
them do it. When we went to brunch, I offered
to cover both her and my portion of the bill.
Her dad immediately refused and covered the whole bill. She
gave me a I told you so.
Speaker 2 (27:56):
Look.
Speaker 1 (27:57):
She thinks I was a jerk for how I reacted
to the situation and says I should have trusted her.
She told me she needs some space because my reaction
to the whole situation is kind of a turn off
to her, and she needs to think about things.
Speaker 2 (28:09):
Am I the jerk?
Speaker 1 (28:11):
You weren't obligated to offer, But yeah, you're the jerk
for not having any modicum of courtesy given how much
her father has treated you. Do you have no shame
or self respect and your girlfriend was right that he
wouldn't let you pay. There's no risk to your finances
since she offered to pay half. If she was wrong,
you sound like a leech, a selfish one too. Don't
(28:31):
be surprised if your girlfriend's attitude towards you is seriously
damaged by this. Yeah, op, he shouldn't accept stuff if
he isn't planning to reciprocate. That's not something differentiating between
being brought up poor rich. It's called human decency.
Speaker 2 (28:46):
You're the jerk.
Speaker 1 (28:47):
Your girlfriend wants you to show her dad you're not
a free loading mooch. You apparently think that doing so
is laughably ridiculous. Sounds like the two of you come
from wildly different cultures, But open mockery followed by refusing
to understand where she and by extension, her family are
coming from, is not a good sign.
Speaker 2 (29:05):
You're the jerk.
Speaker 1 (29:06):
It's common courtesy to pay back the favor of at
least offering to pay the bill once in a while.
Since you can afford to your girlfriend's parents seem like
generous and overall great people, you'd be doing yourself a
disservice by not nurturing that relationship. The fact that they
are well off doesn't mean that their generosity should be
taken for granted, and it seems you're doing just that.
(29:26):
Am I the jerk for wanting more to be done
about my brother stealing four hundred dollars from me? My
brother just stole four hundred dollars from me, and basically
nothing's being done about it. I work as a server,
so I bring home cash from tips. One of my
classes went on a trip that cost nine hundred dollars,
so I stopped going to the bank while I paid
for the trip, and it just became a habit. So
most of my money has been just sitting in my
(29:48):
room on my desk. Friday afternoon, I went to grab
some money to repay one of my brothers for something
he bought. There was only around one hundred and fifty
dollars left. I know for a fact that after the trip,
I had about six hundred to seven hundred dollars. I
counted it before and after I left. Someone obviously stole
the money. I started searching around my room to see
(30:08):
if anything else had been taken.
Speaker 2 (30:10):
Nothing.
Speaker 1 (30:11):
It was just the money. The money was basically in
plain sight, which wasn't the smartest idea, but I never
thought my siblings would steal it, so it wasn't a problem.
I asked family if they knew anything about it.
Speaker 2 (30:22):
They didn't.
Speaker 1 (30:23):
A few hours later, two of them tell me they
think it was the youngest. I'll call him Caleb. Caleb
is fourteen. He obviously doesn't have a job right now.
He worked at a haunted house for about a month
and a half for ten dollars a day, and he
only worked three to four days a week. It wasn't
that much in total. When he finally got paid, he
spent all of the money within a week or two. Yesterday,
(30:44):
after talking to my other brothers, we decided to do
something about our suspicions and search his room. We found
two hundred and seventeen dollars in Caleb's jacket pocket. The
money was obviously mine because there's no way he would
have gotten that much cash. We waited for our dad
to get home to talk to him about it. My
dad instantly confronted him about it, and Caleb obviously tried
denying it at first, saying that he just found it.
(31:07):
My dad mentioned we found two hundred and seventeen dollars
he broke admitted to stealing it from me. He can't
pay me back for what he's already spent, so my
dad thinks that he should just pay me back with chores.
I'm kind of mad that not much is being done
about this, other than him getting a few extra chores.
Speaker 2 (31:24):
My parents just don't seem to care.
Speaker 1 (31:26):
That money was my college money and I really need
it since I leave for college in a few months.
My friends are saying go to the police about it.
My coworkers are saying that chores aren't enough to pay
me back or learn the lesson that stealing isn't okay.
He's stolen from people before, but he never learns from it.
I think more should be done about this, but my
parents think I'm going overboard and that just doing my
(31:46):
chores is enough. They're acting like I'm crazy for wanting
my brother to actually get in trouble for this, but
maybe I'm just overly mad.
Speaker 2 (31:53):
Because it was my money. Not the jerk.
Speaker 1 (31:56):
Your parents need to immediately pay you back with actual
cash money. He can then pay them back with chores
if that's what they think is appropriate.
Speaker 2 (32:05):
Not the jerk.
Speaker 1 (32:06):
He should get a job and hand you every paycheck
until you're fully paid back. He can go cut lawns
or something.
Speaker 2 (32:12):
Not the jerk.
Speaker 1 (32:13):
Your parents should replace it. While you could go to
the cops, it isn't going to help. Fact of the
matter is they're not going to be able to do
anything short of charging him, which doesn't replace the money.
Bottom line, demand your parents replace the money. Their kid,
their problem. This is why everyone should have a small
safe of their own and always keep the key with you.
(32:33):
Reddit boy and I got a really nice one recently
off Amazon. I'll pin the link in the comments below.
Go buy one now before it's too late. Support our
channel by joining as a member today and we'll give
you a shout out in our next video.
Speaker 2 (32:47):
Or come watch this video next. You won't believe what
Karen does in that one.
Hey there, mister Redder here, welcome back to another episode
of Reddit podcast Stories. Our first story will be reading today.
Karen wife is jealous that I'm performing husband duties for
my friend. After that, a new manager was older than me,
so they knew the best way to run an event.
And after that, am I the jerk for cutting back
on my work hours to prove a point to my wife? Now,
(00:22):
for every thumbs up this video gets one, Karen doesn't
get to decide who her husband is friends with. You
better not have been texting my sister Sharon again, Reddit boy,
so please smash that like button and subscribe and turn
on notifications for new stories from Reddit every single day.
Karen wife is jealous that I'm performing husband duties for
my friend. I thirty six male, have a longtime friend,
(00:46):
thirty four female, who I live about four blocks from.
We've always been very close. Her husband passed three years
ago after a nine month battle with brain cancer, during
which she was his full time caretaker. I was also
very close with her husband, and since I lived close by,
I would go over and help as much as I could,
be it cooking, cleaning, taking the kids out to do things,
(01:06):
yard work, and maintenance around the house, especially as he
declined and required round the clock care. After he passed,
I've continued to help my friend and her kids, and
I spent a lot of time with her kids, who
are now eleven and nine. Last year, I married my wife,
who I started dating after my friend's husband had passed,
so this isn't anything new. Since then, there have been
(01:27):
consistent arguments about me performing husband duties for my friend.
Some examples of the things she was upset about. My
friend called because when she woke up a pipe had
burst in the ceiling and she couldn't find a plumber
who would come out that day. I'm a contractor, so
I was able to call a friend and he went
over asap, and then I headed over and I helped
her clean up the mess and helped with her talking
(01:48):
to her insurance and hiring a remediation company. After that
was done, I helped her demo and replace the drywall.
Her car broke down, so I picked up her kids
from school and went and played basketball with them while
she got it to the shop and grabbed a rental.
And then the boys wanted to have a pizza party,
so he grabbed some pizzas and had dinner at the park.
She was re landscaping her backyard and putting in some
(02:09):
raised planter beds, and I went over on my.
Speaker 2 (02:11):
Day off to help her.
Speaker 1 (02:12):
My wife is always welcome, she doesn't usually want to go,
and instead she thinks that I should let her figure
it out because she's a big girl and needs to
stop acting like I'm her husband. She's even gone as
far as suggesting that my friend wants to steal me
away from my wife because she needs someone to take
care of her eta. I met this friend and her
husband in college while they were dating and I was
(02:33):
in a long term relationship. I was a groomsman in
their wedding and I am the godfather of both their sons,
and I was asked to be before both were born.
No jerk's here. I have a friend who does similar
things for me since my husband passed, and I know
that he's trying to look out for me because he
was my husband's best friend. I really appreciate his help,
but I would draw the line at inviting him to
(02:55):
stay for pizza or hang out with my kids in
case his wife, who's a really cool person, thought it
was too much. If your wife is starting to feel uncomfortable,
then you need to dial it back a bit, save
your help for the big things like major do it
yourself projects, and keep up with your friends socially by
inviting her over to your house to hang out with
you and your wife together. Info, are you helping out
(03:16):
and spending time with your friend more than you have
free time to relax with your wife. Have you ever
canceled plans with your wife to help your friend? Have
you tried to involve your wife in some of these
activities like the meal with the kids, or do you
keep it so your involvement with your friend and her
kids is separate? Have you not considered that your wife
probably expected your assistance and involvement in your friend's life
(03:36):
to reduce, if not stop completely after you were married.
Speaker 2 (03:40):
I would be.
Speaker 1 (03:41):
Asking if they're still spending special time together, going on dates,
giving time for them as a couple when these aren't
him play A person starts to wonder exactly if OP
skipping off to have his cup filled by friends and
the kids and his wife is a second thought, there's
a problem.
Speaker 2 (03:58):
One hundred percent.
Speaker 1 (03:59):
Wife said I'm feeling things and OP went full defensive
protector mode over his second family and not his wife.
Speaker 2 (04:06):
Op. You're the jerk. You're the jerk.
Speaker 1 (04:09):
I say that because there have been many reasonable comments
posted here and I haven't seen a single one that
asked you to go no contact with the boys or
your friends. But you've shown no acceptance of any type
of compromise or any validation whatsoever of your wife's feelings.
You simply came here for validation that you're right and
she's wrong. That says to me that you value your
second family over her. I'm expecting to be downvoted, but honestly,
(04:33):
divorce your wife. She's not your priority. You already have
a family. Hope you and your late bestie's wife are
happy together, and I hope your wife finds a husband
who puts her first.
Speaker 2 (04:43):
You're the jerk. You're the jerk.
Speaker 1 (04:46):
It's one thing to help a friend when needed, but
you seem to have a second family with this woman
and her kids. The fact that your wife is invited
to see the four of you being a family and
she's the outsider doesn't make it any better. An emergency
is one thing. Helping out with the gardening is a
horse of a different color. You're the jerk when my
husband and I got married, we vowed to protect each
(05:07):
other's heart. We vowed to prioritize each other, thus our
marriage and family above all things. Whenever a situation arises,
it always boils down to how it will affect us
in our marriage. Communicate, compromise, and set healthy boundaries. I'm
not implying for you to totally cut them out of
your life, but set some boundaries that are acceptable to
your wife. Please don't make her feel like the third
(05:28):
wheel in her own marriage, watching on the sideline as
her husband plays family in front of her. Reassure her
that she and your family will always be your priority
as it should be. You married her, you made your
vow to her. She's your wife and partner and will
be the mother to your future kids. Be the godfather
to those kids. But please don't burn your family to
keep your friend's family warm. It's you're the jerk. Priorities
(05:51):
and boundaries should have been established from the start. A
new manager was older than me, so they knew the
best way to run an event. I used to work
part time for my university running student events. Experience is
the best teacher. I had participated in these events as
a student assisted in these events under someone else as
part of my scholarship, and as a staff member ran
(06:11):
the events myself. We had a new college head who
was much older, approximately fifty to sixty, while everyone else
was in their early twenties. This woman was the most pigheaded,
arrogant fool you can imagine, and despite being new, she
wouldn't sit back and observe how things worked or listen
to those of us on our team who had been
there for years. No matter what you told her, when
(06:31):
she announced something that wouldn't work or would cause problems,
the answer was always the same, I'm older, so I
know best. Didn't matter if it would take you longer
to do it her way or in one case it
was technically legal. Of course, mistakes that we had warned
her what happened were always someone else's fault or swept
under the rug. During event planning, one look at the
(06:52):
schedule told me she hadn't allocated the team properly. Email
exchange me hm. Probably not a good idea to have
the whole team in an hour before the event, most
of them standing around doing nothing. Best to get five
or so people in for setup, most of the team
in for running event and hold back another three to
four for cleanup. College Head, No, I won't everyone in
(07:14):
helping out equally an hour before the event. Me, they're
only meant to do two hours of work per event.
If you have them an hour early for a two event,
that's three hours. They'll all leave before cleanup. The slackers
will slack off, and the proactives will end up doing everything.
Speaker 2 (07:29):
Her. I'm older than you, I know best. Just do
as you're told.
Speaker 1 (07:35):
Q malicious compliance. Me fine, but I've got some personal
business to go directly after the event. I'll handle procurement
and set up, but we'll need to leave right after
the event is over. Her, That's fine, onto other business.
Day of the event. The whole team showed up an
hour before the setup as expected. Five or so did
(07:55):
all the set up work, while most of the team
just stood around on their phones and got bored and
wondered off. It was not the team member's fault for
standing around. Only so many people can do meal prep
and set up tables without getting in each other's way.
Ten minutes before the event. College Head shows up and
everything's running smoothly. Event was a lot of fun. Some
of the team continued to wonder off, Some ran the events,
(08:18):
some participated. I was running around as a gopher, letting
the college head take credit for the event in front
of everyone, not doing any work, mind you, but taking
credit for it. I made sure to remind her I
had to leave right at the end of the event
for her personal business in front of the other college heads.
Several times, to be extra spiteful, I neglected to stop
(08:39):
several team members from wondering off who had done no
work other than stand around talking and eating, and encourage
several people who had definitely done two hours of work
to call it a night and thank them for their help.
Forgetful me, I also didn't tell team members standing around
during events to start cleaning up as things were finishing.
All the free food was gone, all the games were over.
(09:00):
Both students and team members were wandering off into the night,
and all of a sudden, college head wait, where are
you going? There's so much mess, and we've got to
put away all of the tables and tidy up the
different games, but everyone has left. Me. Hmm, yes, we
probably should have saved up a few team members to
do clean up, but they've all already done their two hours. Anyway,
(09:22):
like I told you earlier, I've got some personal business
to attend directly after the event, so i'll see you tomorrow.
Her What personal business is it? This will take over
an hour to do all on my own me. I'm sorry,
but I said personal business because I wasn't comfortable discussing
it with you or the team about what it actually was.
But it is quite personal, and I'm going to be laid.
(09:44):
I wandered off home for my personal business of closing
all of my curtains and playing Xbox, chuckling at the
thought of that arrogant woman having to do all of
that work by herself. The formal complaint she put in
for me leaving didn't really go anywhere, as I just
forwarded the email exchange to manage. Sadly, pigheaded people are
pig headed because they don't learn no matter what. I
(10:05):
eventually quit, and a few months later was introduced to
my replacement's replacement, who was also ready to quit. Am
I the jerk for cutting back on work to prove
a point to my wife? My wife is usually an angel,
but has recently gotten into a friendship with a woman
who I personally believe is a bad influence on her,
not in a patronizing way, more of a lay down
(10:26):
with dogs, get up with fleas types of situation. I
never said anything about her because, frankly, it doesn't affect me.
Until it did a few months ago, my wife began
pressuring me to do more around the house. Before I
get an instant, you're the jerk. We already split chores
in childcare. Admittedly she had a bigger cut than I
because she's a stay at home mom, but I do
(10:47):
most of the cooking, breakfasts and dinners, lunches, her responsibility
for her and the boys. I take out the garbage,
and I do laundry, and I deep clean the bathrooms
once a week. I do also help with our boys
homework and such. She insists that I'm not doing enough
and that I should be doing more around the house.
I tried having discussions with her, asking what she expected
from me, namely, all chores and child rearing should be
(11:10):
my duty, it seems, and for months it seemed to
be going nowhere. She used words when she was speaking
to me, which made it feel manipulative. It boiled over
when we were out with friends one night and she
began talking about how I never helped out and how
I use her as a house slave. Her words, I
will admit I saw red. This next part is where
I may be the jerk. I didn't say anything that night,
(11:32):
but the next day I asked my boss to be
given reduced hours for the next little bit due to stress,
and I took over everything in the house. I cooked
breakfast and made lunch for the boys before I drove
them to school. I cleaned the house top to bottom.
I did every dish we had twice, and so on.
My wife was blindingly happy and bragged to her friend
that she finally had warned me in she didn't lift
(11:55):
a finger for around a month. Then she began asking
why we never went on dates anymore, and complaining that
she wanted to get her nails done as they were
growing in. I explained that I had to take that
out of our budget so we could continue to afford
everything else, but we could absolutely have a movie night
in and I could paint her nails for her. She
was unhappy with that solution, so I asked her if
(12:15):
she would want to get a part time job to
pay for either luxuries. You would have thought I had
asked her if she wanted to join a coult. She
then asked if I could just pick up more shifts
at work to cover her other expenses and use the
phrase be a man, which I found more than a
little insulting. I then asked her if she would be
willing to go back to splitting the chores and such,
which is when she began to catch on that the
(12:36):
two were related. She yelled at me that I was
being a manipulative jerk for doing this, and even claimed
it was financial mistreatment. I stood strong for a while,
but now I'm questioning my methods because even I feel
what I did was a bit underhanded. So am I
the jerk? You're the jerk for so many reasons. First Off,
you have no right to decide who your wife gets
(12:57):
to be friends with, and you also sound extremely judgmental
by the way you talk about her friend. If her
friend is helping her gain new insights and perspectives on
life that you don't agree with, that sounds like a
you problem. Secondly, it's obvious your wife was feeling unappreciated.
She's probably so used to the workload that you dump
on her that she didn't realize it before, but now
(13:19):
that she's gained the courage to discuss her feelings with you,
you decide that you're going to stop working your normal
hours in order to get back at her. Thirdly, if
you actually tell her that she can't get her nails
done because you had to remove it from your budget,
then I'm sorry, but you seriously need to find a
better paying job. Why did you even start a family
if you can't afford to take care of them. I'm
(13:39):
proud of the friend for waking your wife up to
the value that she brings to this relationship, and I
hope that she leaves you and finds a man who
will treat her like the queen that she is. I
also hope she takes you to the cleaners in court
so that you will have to go back to working
your big boy hours at your joke of a job.
Am I the jerk for moving out after my parents
told me to pay rent? This story happened almost a
(14:01):
year back, and when I told my friends about it,
they said I should post it here because they were
split fifty to fifty. So I, nineteen mail moved out
of my parents house about a year ago. There was
nothing wrong in my life. I had a good upbringing,
I loved being home. I had a lot of friends
and my parents were loving, or so I thought. Anyways,
I was going to have a big eighteenth birthday, as
(14:22):
it's the legal age where I stay in Australia and
means you go from a boy to a man, kid
to adult. I had a venue rented out and I
had family and friends coming from all over to celebrate
with me. We had a blast that night. I had
my first drink and almost made up my last. I
don't remember anything from that night, but from the photos
that I've seen, it looked like I had a good night,
(14:43):
so I was happy. A few days after that night,
my parents set me down to have a talk. They
told me that I'm a man now and that I've
been working a lot of hours and yet they haven't
received anything. They told me that as soon as I
started working, they expected me to help pay rent. Obviously,
I didn't know any of that because I didn't get
told that. They told me that I should have known better,
(15:04):
but now that I'm eighteen, they expect me to help
with the rent. Honestly, I didn't mind helping them if
they asked. I was sixteen when I got my first
job at McDonald's and I'm now working in construction. But
they made it seem like I was in the wrong
for not giving them money. And I get where they're
coming from, but from my perspective, all I had seen
was green. All I saw was a triple digit paycheck
(15:26):
that I wanted to spend straight away. Anyways, I told
them i'd start helping them from now on, but it
wasn't good enough for them. They told me that I
had to pay them back all of the money that
I should have given them when I first started working,
which was almost ten thousand dollars. I said no, flat out,
and they got mad. They told me that either I
pay rent and pay them back what I owed, or
(15:46):
I move out and find my own place.
Speaker 2 (15:48):
So that's what I did.
Speaker 1 (15:50):
I moved out a few days after to my friend's
house for a bit until I found my own apartment
and have been living here for about eight to ten months.
As soon as I moved out, I got bombarded with
calls and texts saying that I disrespected them by not
paying them what I owed and by making it harder
for them to live now that they don't have someone
washing or doing their laundry. Taking out their rubbish and
all the other little stuff.
Speaker 2 (16:11):
They're both in.
Speaker 1 (16:12):
Their early forties and are more than capable of doing it.
My friends asked me why I never introduced them to
my parents and told them what I've told you. Some
of them already hated my parents, and some of them
said it was my duty as their son. I honestly
didn't know I had to give them my money or
help out. I would have if they would have asked,
but I feel like they just disrespected and tried to
(16:32):
gaslight me into giving them money. I just need to
know if I'm the jerk or not.
Speaker 2 (16:37):
Edit.
Speaker 1 (16:37):
A lot of people have asked me what my cultural
background is, as if it has something to do with
my situation. My mother's from Chile and my dad is Samoan.
As I know of both cultures do expect help, but
mostly in the form of chores and keeping the house clean.
It isn't until you're eighteen and still living there that
you're expected to pay rent. I do have siblings, and
they had jobs before they were eighteen too. They were
(17:00):
never made to pay rent before they were eighteen, nor
did my parents ask for backdated rent. Just wanted to
clear up the air with some frequently asked questions at
it too. As some of you have pointed out, it
is too my better judgment that I should have helped
out without having to be told. I will take that
as a fault of mine. But what I won't accept
and can now clearly see that backdating rent to a miner,
(17:21):
which is already bad in itself, will never be acceptable,
and I stand firm on my decision of not pain
and moving out. I do, however, have a family dinner
in a few days with my parents and siblings, so
if you want an update after that, I'll be happy
to make one. Thanks for all the help and support.
It makes me happy knowing that I made the right
choice and to have unbiased opinions on the matter, not
(17:41):
the jerk. I was going to say, no jerks here
until they told you that you owed them ten thousand
dollars for backdated rent payments. You mentioned this, and it's
absolutely insane, especially since they only told you about helping
with rent after you turned eighteen. They shouldn't start charging
you as soon as you get a job at sixteen.
It's typical to ask for help with rent after your
(18:02):
kid turns eighteen. It isn't typical to start charging your
kid for rent at the age of sixteen. The moment
they get a job and say nothing for two years,
you owe your parents nothing.
Speaker 2 (18:12):
Op.
Speaker 1 (18:13):
So they expected backdated rent from when you were sixteen
to eighteen.
Speaker 2 (18:17):
Not the jerk.
Speaker 1 (18:18):
They're responsible for paying for your living costs as a miner.
My parents are demanding I raise their grandchild, so I
twenty seven female was estranged from my deceased sister for
five years after she had an affair with my fiance
that not only I found out about but resulted in
a pregnancy. I cut the two of them out of
my life and declared that they were done to me.
(18:40):
They had a kid who is now four, but maybe
close to five now. I'm not sure. I've never met
their kid. I never wanted to meet the kid or
be in their life. My parents knew their grandchild and
supported the child. While my sister and ex were alive,
they were on and off. After I left him. I
heard from friends that their breakups were quite explosive. When
they both recently passed in an accident, people were shocked,
(19:03):
but also kind of not because a lot of people
assumed they were arguing and not focusing on the road,
their kid went into foster care. My parents tried to
take their kid in but were denied on the grounds
of health and mobility. The kid's paternal relatives did not
want to take them in. No surprise is there, though,
and so my parents turned to me. I'm now engaged
again to Luke, and we bought our forever home last year.
(19:26):
We're stable and happy, and my parents believe I slash
we should take in their grandchild. I told them I
would not be a good fit to raise the kid,
and I was sorry, but that was the end of
the discussion as far as I'm concerned. Luke told them
that he was with me on that. My parents went
behind my back to try and talk him into it,
but he told me and I told them to stop.
(19:47):
They begged me again to reconsider and said, imagine how
nice it would be to know my nibbling, to get
to be there, to have a kid who is part
of our family, kept in our family and raised lovingly
around people who want the best for them. I told
them that that's not a job for me and to
let it go. A few days went by and I
thought maybe they'd drop it. Then they called and told
(20:07):
me that they think about how good it will look
for me, the betrayed sister and ex fiance, to have
enough love and compassion to raise the kid that was
conceived out of said betrayal and love them and be
the best mom.
Speaker 2 (20:20):
To that kid who could exist.
Speaker 1 (20:22):
They said, people would think I'm a saint and would
always think of me as an incredible person. I told them,
I am no saint. I do not want to be
a saint. I don't need to be seen as some incredible,
amazing person. And I'm not going to raise their grandkid
just to look good to other people, and they need
to stop asking me to. They told me I was
heartless and asked how I could not care at all
(20:42):
about a kid who is my own flesh and blood
and who's been tossed around the system in just a
few weeks because, according to them, the kid has been
in four homes already. They said, I should not be
able to turn my back on family like this, and
I should have more compassion for them who were told
by the authorities that they will not be allowed to
raise their grandkid. Am I the jerk not the jerk?
(21:03):
As sad as it is, having the kid at home
will remind you of your ex and sister's betrayal, Plus
they're passing. I would be insulted by the fact that
they think you should do it to look good.
Speaker 2 (21:13):
Not the jerk. This kid is not your flesh and blood.
The kid is theirs.
Speaker 1 (21:18):
I'm sorry for the grief they're putting you through, not
the jerk. I can't imagine to betrayed ex to be
a good stepmother for an orphaned kid, least when the
person went no contact with family of that betrayal sounds
more like the ideal set up for an evil stepmother.
Am I the jerk for assuming my friend was keeping
her partner away because I didn't like him when actually
(21:39):
he didn't like me. I thirty eight female, have known
Alie forty female for fifteen years. We first met at
work when we were single and the youngest people there.
We became good friends and socialized together and still do.
Ali then met her partner, Matt, who she is still
with years later. He does not share her interests. He's
an avid football supporter UK and very anti the rival
(22:02):
football team. Even when he doesn't go to watch matches live,
he watches at the pub with male friends. He plays
sports with his friends. She's a football widow. She likes
going to the theater and to dinner. He'll go to
dinner with her, but doesn't much enjoy the theater unless
it's a serious play. She likes musicals, and she ends
up going with female friends. She says she doesn't mind
(22:23):
they aren't joined at the hip, and she has plenty
of friends and relatives who enjoy going to the theater
with her, and that she doesn't want to go to football.
I wonder I'm known for being brutally honest. When she
introduced me to Matt, she asked my opinion, and I
gave it. I didn't really see them together. I didn't
really like that he drinks and swears. He has a
professional job, but isn't very refined unlike her, and I
(22:46):
found him a bit difficult to connect to. At the time,
she was hurt, but got over it and generally just
engineered it, so I never really saw him. He was
always busy when I organized a party, et cetera. They
now have two sons, and he looks after them when
she comes out with her friends. To be honest, more recently,
my opinion of him is improved. He seems to be
(23:07):
a really good dad to the kids, and they clearly
adore him. They are also football mad. It took me
longer to meet my significant other, Edward, but I now
have and we just got engaged. Allie and Matt both
attended our engagement party. Edward actually likes football and ended
up getting on really well with Matt.
Speaker 2 (23:25):
Later, I asked Allie if she'd.
Speaker 1 (23:26):
Be up for doing something as couples as Edward and
Matt got on so well, she was noncommittal. A few
weeks later, I tried to arrange something and she accepted
for herself, but Matt was busy. I explained I wanted
to do something with the four of us when he
was free, but she kept stalling.
Speaker 2 (23:43):
I pushed it.
Speaker 1 (23:44):
Maybe I shouldn't have, and she said it wasn't a
good idea because he and I didn't really get along.
I said it was okay. I changed my opinion more
recently and Edward likes him. She looks surprised and then
awkwardly let me know it was because he didn't really
like me. She thought I knew I didn't, and I
was upset. This was news to me. I asked her
(24:05):
why she was embarrassed, but said he found me judgmental
and too much. I don't even know what that means.
A few other examples as well. I was hurt and
I told her I had assumed she kept us apart
because I didn't like him, not the reverse. She said
that we didn't get on, so what difference did it make.
I'm beyond hurt and did react badly, and I told
(24:26):
her some honest truths about him. I regret this now
and I tried to apologize, but she won't return my calls.
Speaker 2 (24:33):
Am I the jerk?
Speaker 1 (24:34):
You're the jerk, brutally honest as always code for excuse
to be a jerk, and now you're upset that your
very own behavior got flipped on you and you doubled
down when told. So maybe this is the time for
some honest self reflection. Let me get this straight. You
said a bunch of incredibly rude things to someone's new partner,
then one day decided you like them actually and didn't
(24:56):
realize that everything you've ever done to them caused them
to form an opinion of you. My girl, Every person
who is not you and the world has a mind
of their own and exists in the world outside of
how they relate to your life. They all have deep
in our worlds just as complex as your own. Not
everything is about you. Oh, and you're the jerk. You're
the jerk. You can be honest with friends, tactfully, not brutally.
(25:20):
You can date a person and keep your own separate
interests but still find that person interesting. How can you
be surprised that someone you didn't like for years is
returning your vibe? Am I the jerk for laughing at
my girlfriend when she suggested I should offer to pay
the bill for her family. I'm twenty three mail My girlfriend,
who's twenty one, and I have been together for a
year and a half. Her family is super sweet and
(25:42):
I get along great with them.
Speaker 2 (25:44):
Now.
Speaker 1 (25:44):
My girlfriend's dad is pretty well off. Every time I've
gone out to dinner with her family, he always foots
the bill. Her family has been great to me. They
always welcomed me into their home. I went on a
vacation with them back in winter. Her parents paid for
our hotel for the entire week. Her dad gave her
money for food, granted it was for her, her brother,
and myself. I also only paid half of the flight
(26:07):
because my girlfriend offered to pay for the other half.
The only thing I really had to pay for is
food a couple of days out of the trip, which
my girlfriend pitched in and helped.
Speaker 2 (26:15):
Me with too.
Speaker 1 (26:16):
This past weekend, my girlfriend, myself, her younger brother, and
her dad went out for brunch. I was spending the
weekend with her anyway, so she invited me to join them.
Before we left, her and I were talking and she
mentioned how maybe I should offer to pay for brunch,
as in all four of us. She assured me that
her dad would one thousand percent refuse to let me pay,
(26:36):
but he would probably really appreciate and respect me for offering.
Now here's where I may sound like the jerk, but
I honestly laughed at her suggesting this. I told her
I would offer to cover hour, her and my portion
of the bill, but to expect me to offer to
cover the entire bill is obscured.
Speaker 2 (26:53):
Sure, I work.
Speaker 1 (26:54):
A full time job and all of that, but I
have my own bills and stuff to worry about too,
and she wants.
Speaker 2 (26:59):
Me to offer it.
Speaker 1 (26:59):
Toy, I want one hundred and fifty dollars brunch. She
told me that if her dad accepted, would she one
hundred percent guaranteed that he wouldn't that she would send
me half for the bill. I continued to laugh and
told her I'm not doing that. I'll offer to pay
for our half, and that's it. I asked her, if
the roles were reversed, if she would offer to pay
the bill for my family, eight of us in total,
including my girlfriend. She said, that's completely different. That's eight people,
(27:24):
not four. We both have very different upbringings in terms
of the situation I mentioned about paying the bill. She
grew up with a decently well off family where they
would constantly argue on who would pay the bill because
everyone in her family would always offer out of courtesy.
I grew up very differently, as I come from a
family that was not financially well off. If someone offered
(27:44):
to pay the bill, you just sit back and let
them do it. When we went to brunch, I offered
to cover both her and my portion of the bill.
Her dad immediately refused and covered the whole bill. She
gave me a I told you so.
Speaker 2 (27:56):
Look.
Speaker 1 (27:57):
She thinks I was a jerk for how I reacted
to the situation and says I should have trusted her.
She told me she needs some space because my reaction
to the whole situation is kind of a turn off
to her, and she needs to think about things.
Speaker 2 (28:09):
Am I the jerk?
Speaker 1 (28:11):
You weren't obligated to offer, But yeah, you're the jerk
for not having any modicum of courtesy given how much
her father has treated you. Do you have no shame
or self respect and your girlfriend was right that he
wouldn't let you pay. There's no risk to your finances
since she offered to pay half. If she was wrong,
you sound like a leech, a selfish one too. Don't
(28:31):
be surprised if your girlfriend's attitude towards you is seriously
damaged by this. Yeah, op, he shouldn't accept stuff if
he isn't planning to reciprocate. That's not something differentiating between
being brought up poor rich. It's called human decency.
Speaker 2 (28:46):
You're the jerk.
Speaker 1 (28:47):
Your girlfriend wants you to show her dad you're not
a free loading mooch. You apparently think that doing so
is laughably ridiculous. Sounds like the two of you come
from wildly different cultures, But open mockery followed by refusing
to understand where she and by extension, her family are
coming from, is not a good sign.
Speaker 2 (29:05):
You're the jerk.
Speaker 1 (29:06):
It's common courtesy to pay back the favor of at
least offering to pay the bill once in a while.
Since you can afford to your girlfriend's parents seem like
generous and overall great people, you'd be doing yourself a
disservice by not nurturing that relationship. The fact that they
are well off doesn't mean that their generosity should be
taken for granted, and it seems you're doing just that.
(29:26):
Am I the jerk for wanting more to be done
about my brother stealing four hundred dollars from me? My
brother just stole four hundred dollars from me, and basically
nothing's being done about it. I work as a server,
so I bring home cash from tips. One of my
classes went on a trip that cost nine hundred dollars,
so I stopped going to the bank while I paid
for the trip, and it just became a habit. So
most of my money has been just sitting in my
(29:48):
room on my desk. Friday afternoon, I went to grab
some money to repay one of my brothers for something
he bought. There was only around one hundred and fifty
dollars left. I know for a fact that after the trip,
I had about six hundred to seven hundred dollars. I
counted it before and after I left. Someone obviously stole
the money. I started searching around my room to see
(30:08):
if anything else had been taken.
Speaker 2 (30:10):
Nothing.
Speaker 1 (30:11):
It was just the money. The money was basically in
plain sight, which wasn't the smartest idea, but I never
thought my siblings would steal it, so it wasn't a problem.
I asked family if they knew anything about it.
Speaker 2 (30:22):
They didn't.
Speaker 1 (30:23):
A few hours later, two of them tell me they
think it was the youngest. I'll call him Caleb. Caleb
is fourteen. He obviously doesn't have a job right now.
He worked at a haunted house for about a month
and a half for ten dollars a day, and he
only worked three to four days a week. It wasn't
that much in total. When he finally got paid, he
spent all of the money within a week or two. Yesterday,
(30:44):
after talking to my other brothers, we decided to do
something about our suspicions and search his room. We found
two hundred and seventeen dollars in Caleb's jacket pocket. The
money was obviously mine because there's no way he would
have gotten that much cash. We waited for our dad
to get home to talk to him about it. My
dad instantly confronted him about it, and Caleb obviously tried
denying it at first, saying that he just found it.
(31:07):
My dad mentioned we found two hundred and seventeen dollars
he broke admitted to stealing it from me. He can't
pay me back for what he's already spent, so my
dad thinks that he should just pay me back with chores.
I'm kind of mad that not much is being done
about this, other than him getting a few extra chores.
Speaker 2 (31:24):
My parents just don't seem to care.
Speaker 1 (31:26):
That money was my college money and I really need
it since I leave for college in a few months.
My friends are saying go to the police about it.
My coworkers are saying that chores aren't enough to pay
me back or learn the lesson that stealing isn't okay.
He's stolen from people before, but he never learns from it.
I think more should be done about this, but my
parents think I'm going overboard and that just doing my
(31:46):
chores is enough. They're acting like I'm crazy for wanting
my brother to actually get in trouble for this, but
maybe I'm just overly mad.
Speaker 2 (31:53):
Because it was my money. Not the jerk.
Speaker 1 (31:56):
Your parents need to immediately pay you back with actual
cash money. He can then pay them back with chores
if that's what they think is appropriate.
Speaker 2 (32:05):
Not the jerk.
Speaker 1 (32:06):
He should get a job and hand you every paycheck
until you're fully paid back. He can go cut lawns
or something.
Speaker 2 (32:12):
Not the jerk.
Speaker 1 (32:13):
Your parents should replace it. While you could go to
the cops, it isn't going to help. Fact of the
matter is they're not going to be able to do
anything short of charging him, which doesn't replace the money.
Bottom line, demand your parents replace the money. Their kid,
their problem. This is why everyone should have a small
safe of their own and always keep the key with you.
(32:33):
Reddit boy and I got a really nice one recently
off Amazon. I'll pin the link in the comments below.
Go buy one now before it's too late. Support our
channel by joining as a member today and we'll give
you a shout out in our next video.
Speaker 2 (32:47):
Or come watch this video next. You won't believe what
Karen does in that one.
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