My Mom Demands I Pay For Her Surgery!

In today’s episode of Reddit Podcast, a wild Karen completely loses it. You won’t believe how this one ends! Sit back, relax, and enjoy this binge-worthy Reddit podcast, featuring Karen freakouts, entitled people stories, and pro revenge tales.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey there, mister Redder here, welcome back to another episode
of Reddit podcast Stories. Our first story will be reading today.
My mom is demanding that I pay for her surgery.
After that, pay for twenty hours of work. Get twenty
hours of work. And after that, my sister wouldn't let
my girlfriend eat and now she's sick. Now, for every
thumbs up this video gets one, Karen has to pay

(00:21):
for her own surgery. You're the one that needs surgery.
Reddit boy, there's gotta be a way to make your
head smaller, So please smash that like button and subscribe
and turn on notifications for new stories from Reddit every
single day. My mom is demanding that I pay for
her surgery. I thirty five female lost my father very
early in life, when I was only five years old.

(00:44):
A few months after his passing, my mother married a
guy named John. John already had two teenage sons and
he didn't want to raise me because he never wanted
to be a girl's father. My mother, like a good mother,
abandoned me with my aunt and took my brother, who
was eight at this time, with her to live with
her husband. John was a man with a lot of
money and he always spoiled my mother and brother, but

(01:06):
he never bothered to get me even a Christmas present.
My mother didn't do anything for me either. She came
to visit me once a month and didn't even call
me on Christmas or New Year. I always called, but
many times she didn't answer. My aunt was a woman
who couldn't have kids. Because of that, she and my
uncle raised me as if I were their own daughter,
not missing anything for me. Even without much money. I

(01:28):
accumulated some money from my job I had during high school,
and I earned a small amount for my aunt, which
was enough for me to pay my way for college
at the time. I graduated in computer science and went
to work in a good company, earning a great salary.
But eight years ago I received a much better job
offer from a large company, one well known for having
great hardware products. In that time, I accumulated a lot

(01:51):
of money and helped my uncle and aunt renovate their house,
and I always sent them a nice amount, even if
they told me to spend it on myself. I currently
live alone in great apartment with an estimated value in
the millions. Recently, my mom called me on Instagram. I
post a lot of pictures of trips and fancy places
that I go. It's not too hard to find me.
She asked if we could meet and talk and reevaluate

(02:14):
our relationship, to forget the past and move forward as
mother and daughter. I have a soft heart, so I
took it. I thought it would be an opportunity for
us to talk and finally create the bond that I
had always wanted. We made an appointment at a restaurant
downtown and we met there. When we got there, she
hugged me, kissed me on the cheek, and said she
missed me. We talked about my life, and when I

(02:35):
asked how hers was going, she started to talk about
how bad she was. Apparently she divorced John and my
brother didn't want to keep her as she is now poor.
To make matters worse, she lives on a pension from
John and has serious heart problems. After a while, she
asked if I could pay for a surgery she needed.
The surgery was quite expensive, quite a lot. I told

(02:56):
her I wouldn't pay, as I wouldn't feel good doing that.
She yelled me in the middle of the restaurant, said
I was a terrible daughter and that I was letting
this happen to her, even though I could pay for
her surgery. I left there very embarrassed. When I told
my aunt, she said it was my decision, but remarked
that I do have plenty of money to pay and
that it wouldn't affect me financially. I don't want to

(03:18):
do this because she was never even an actual mom
to me. But I need to ask, am I the
jerk not the jerk? She abandoned you. You don't owe
her a thing. I'm calling BS on the heart problems.
By the way, the fact that she abandoned one of
her kids demonstrates that she has no heart. You're better
off without her, not the jerk. Today it's surgery. Tomorrow

(03:40):
it will be recovery, then rent bills, lifestyle vacations, then
home care, and you will end up restricting your lifestyle
for someone who threw you away so she could have
the lifestyle she wanted. If she pops up again, tell
her you're saving your money to help the people who
raised you. You owe her nothing. Pay for twenty hours
of work. Get twenty hours of work. I'll begin by

(04:03):
saying I work for a software company. I was working
on a project for a client to customize part of
the software and stuff. The project was very open ended,
mostly because the client kept changing their mind about what
they wanted. So the contract was time in materials, meaning
that I had an hourly rate. I would log all
the time worked on the project and half hour intervals,

(04:23):
and every week my company would bill the client company
for the hour spent on the project. The client said
they didn't care how much effort it took. They wanted
a good product, and they wanted it before the end
of the year so they could present it at their
big internal meeting. At the beginning, the project went great.
Every week I had a meeting with the client and
I would get feedback on the progress as well as

(04:44):
new requests they might have, and then I'd spend however
long it took to implement the changes. I'd bill them
fifteen hours, twenty hours, twenty five hours, or however many
it had been. Slowly, over time, the client started requesting
more and more. I told them during the meeting, this
feature will require this many days of work. Changing that
will require why more days, and so on, But again

(05:06):
the client insisted that they needed all these extra features.
They also complained that the company wasn't advancing quickly enough
and insisted they needed the project completed before the end
of the year. I talked to my manager and explain
the situation. To be able to finish quickly enough, I
needed to work full time on this project. My manager
moved my other projects to different people, and we told

(05:27):
the client that until the end of the year, I
would work full time on the project to ensure that
we would hit all of the deadlines. The client was
overjoyed for about a month. The following month, the client
is upset and is demanding to know why we're charging
them so much. I pull out my timesheets and explain that,
as agreed, I've been working full time and more on

(05:47):
their project. Every week, I've logged between forty five and
fifty hours of work, and I've detailed notes specifying exactly
how I've spent that time. I'm not exactly concerned about
being accused of stealing time because I'm a fast worker
and most tasks have been completed more quickly than the
original estimates. Besides, I point out that I'm now working
twice as many hours as before, so it's costing the

(06:10):
client twice as much per week. But I'm also completing
tasks twice as quickly and will be finished in half
the time. The client, unfortunately doesn't appreciate my use of
logical reasoning. They accuse my company of taking advantage, and
then they say that starting from next week, they no
longer want to pay me for more than twenty hours
of work per week. I tell them, sure, we can

(06:31):
do that, but it's October already and you want the
project complete by the end of the year. Given the
amount of work still left to do, I will need
more hours to finish. The client doesn't let me explain
and says that we're not to bill them for anything
more than twenty hours per week. They will not pay
us for more than twenty hours per week, and that
they want this in writing or they'll cancel the entire project.

(06:53):
As my manager says, of course, the customer is always right.
This was an evil act of malicious compliance, so please
read until the end before getting angry at my manager.
He's a great guy. So my manager sends the client
an email confirming that starting from this date, my engagement
with them will be capped at a maximum of twenty
hours per week. He also attaches a spreadsheet of the

(07:14):
estimated time to develop all of the new features of
the project, how many hours I had spent so far
and how many hours I projected to spend to complete it.
The client smugly acknowledges this. Before the end of the week,
my manager gives me back my other project as well
as a new one. You see, at the time, we
were understaffed because we were growing too quickly and we
were getting more requests for new projects that we could handle.

(07:37):
So there would have been no point in stealing hours
from this client and upsetting them when we could take
on a couple of new clients instead and bill everyone
for the actual work and keep everyone happy. So, starting
from next week, my new schedule is twenty hours with
the crappy client, ten hours with Client B, and fifteen
hours with client C. It works great for me, it

(07:57):
doesn't work that great for the crappy client. At our
next weekly meeting, one of the features they requested isn't
ready yet. At the following meeting, I tell them we'll
need to move the deadline for the next milestone by
two weeks. Then it's the beginning of December, and they
ask me if I would be able to make some
last minute changes and still deliver the product by the
end of the year, and I say, oh, there's no

(08:18):
way this project can be finished by the end of
the year. We have yet another meeting with the client
and my manager. My manager asks me why I'm missing
this huge deadline. I say, do you remember when I
was talking about all of the work that still needed
to be done and how long it would take. In October,
we estimated the project needed another sixty days of work.
I worked ten days in October and ten days in November.

(08:41):
Because you said twenty hours max per week. It's going
to take about forty more days of work to finish
the project. It's December. Even if I work over time,
there are not forty days left before the end of
the year. Manager is like, yep, makes perfect sense. Client
does this shocked Pikachu face. They act like this is
the first time they've heard about not being able to
meet the deadlines, even though I've been telling them for weeks. Unfortunately,

(09:05):
they're the kind of person who never listens to what
they don't want to hear. At first, they wanted the
work done quickly, so they didn't think that if I
worked more hours, I would build them for more hours.
Then They wanted to be billed for fewer hours, so
they didn't consider that I would work fewer hours on
the project and things would get done much more slowly.
Unfortunately for the client, who would like to pretend that

(09:26):
we were springing this on them at the last minute,
we had tons of emails to show we had told
them well in advance. My manager's email back in October
had even included an estimate of when the project would
be complete based on number of hours worked per week.
We were well and truly covered. Now for the fallback.
The client kicked and screamed and demanded that I go

(09:46):
back to work on their project full time, or even
that my company should provide a second person to help
me meet the deadline at the end of the year.
It's January and the project is still unfinished, so you
can guess how well that went. Client had to move
the big present of the new software and was not
happy about it and about having to explain it all
to their own CEO. But we told them very nicely

(10:07):
in corporate tones to buzz Off. I was already scheduled
to work on two other projects for the next few months,
and it had been hard enough to put me full
time on this project the first time. My manager is
not going to leave another two clients hanging, especially not
to please this crappy client who keeps changing their mind
and threatens to cancel their contract every other week. As
a company, we do our best to keep the client happy,

(10:30):
but there's a limit to everything, especially when someone goes
out of their way to not listen when we try
to explain how cause and effect works. My sister wouldn't
let my girlfriend eat and now she's sick. I'm thirty
two male. My girlfriend thirty one female and of four years,
has a condition where if she's hungry, she has to
eat something or a snack, otherwise she will become very

(10:51):
sick and throw up. She's seeing a doctor about it. However,
the doctor said it's hard to treat it as it's
her body's response from back when she was dealing with
an eating disorder, which was before we started dating. In general,
this condition is manageable, and she always has snacks with
her in case she feels hungry, and both of us
make sure that they're always available. A lot of these
snacks are healthy, like dried peas, meat, chips, fruits, et cetera.

(11:15):
Last weekend, my sister invited us and the rest of
the family for breakfast that she had some news to announce.
She lives in a country house quite a distance away
from the shops. She has also asked me and Anne
not to bring any snacks since she felt it was
disrespectful and caused trouble with her kids. I've reminded my
sister that Anne has a medical condition and can't go hungry,

(11:36):
to which my sister assured us there will be food
when we arrive and it will be ready to eat.
Last time, it wasn't the case and the food wasn't
ready until four hours after, which is why Anne had
to snack on her dried fruits. We agreed and arrived
in the morning as promised to help my sister. Anne
had some fruits for breakfast and coffee. There was no
food available, but plenty of snacks like nuts, cheese, and fruits.

(11:59):
So when Anne got hungry and as she didn't have
any snacks and the hot food was not ready, she
asked my sister if she can snack on the cold food.
My sister was not happy about it and started shouting
at Anne, calling her childish for wanting to eat and
she can wait for the hot food since our kids
are patiently waiting. I've reminded my sister that Anne has
a condition and cannot go long times without food, but

(12:20):
my sister refused to budge. As my car was blocked
by my brother in law's car due to tight parking,
I've asked him to move so that we can go
to the shop and get something, but my sister said no,
as she needs my brother in law round to help
her and we can just wait until the food is ready. Unfortunately,
this delay caused Anne to get sick, so we had
to leave soon after the food was ready as she

(12:42):
wasn't feeling well and started to throw off. My sister
told me that we behaved like jerks and we ruined
her announcement and that Anne was clearly being sick for
attention since she wasn't getting any that day. I've reminded
her again about Anne's condition what she said earlier about
food being available, and said she behaved spoiled and her
as actions were harsh towards Anne. She should have just

(13:02):
let her snack so she will not be seeing me
or her around until she apologizes. However, since then, I
keep getting messages from my brother in law's family calling
me a jerk, not the jerk. Clearly, your sister is
at fault here and you should be going no contact
with her. Ignore brother in law's family as they're only
hearing her version of what happened from your sister. Tell

(13:25):
brother in law exactly what happened. Your sister is a
jerk and caused your girlfriend to get sick. Oh, p
should explain it to anyone and everyone his sister tells.
Your sister is being terrible, like beyond terrible, not the jerk.
Would I be the jerk for hiding my pregnancy from
my mother in law? I'm female, twenty eight my husband

(13:45):
who's twenty nine. His mother is extremely involved in her
kid's lives. Essentially, she believes that she has to say
in everything since they're her kids. We do love her,
but she can be a lot lots of unsolicited advice,
pushy opinions, et cetera. We started to notice that she's
been extremely gossipy, particularly about things that should not be shared.

(14:06):
For example, we were told of a cousin's pregnancy having
birth defects, but we were told not to tell anyone
because she wasn't supposed to tell anyone. Another cousin was
pregnant and ultimately miscarried, but this wasn't announced, so we've
had to act like we don't know. Another cousin got
pregnant but didn't want anyone to know as it was early.
Her mom told my mother in law, her sister in law,

(14:27):
and my mother in law told us. Again, we were
told to act like we didn't know this. Luckily, everything
is on track with that one. I mentioned that I
hoped that when the day came for me to announce
my own pregnancy, she would not tell others, as it
something that my husband and I should enjoy and do ourselves.
She said, it doesn't matter because no one would tell you.
They already knew, so it would be just as special

(14:49):
to you. I realized that in there that nothing we
could do or say would prevent her from spreading the
word before we were ready, and my husband agreed. Now
we found out that we're afecting our first and we're
very excited. We're only six weeks into the pregnancy. I
expressed a desire to not tell his mother until twelve weeks,
and that I'd essentially like to tell her and then

(15:10):
post it online within the hour. He was okay with
that plan. However, I do want to tell my two
sisters and my mother and father. They're extremely supportive people
and I want to share this time with them. I
would never worry about them telling anyone. He thinks that
it would be wrong to tell my family and not
his own, and his mother would never forgive us me. Really,

(15:31):
I said that his mother's inability to stop gossiping shouldn't
prevent me from sharing with my family. I also said
that he can tell his sister if he would like,
as I know for a fact that she'll keep it
a secret from her mom. She shared many of the
same concerns. He said, this is asking for problems because
his mom will inevitably find out later that everyone knew
before her. I agree that she will likely find that out,

(15:54):
but I don't think that's our problem, and she should
understand why we kept it from her. His father would
never side with us to keep the peace, but definitely
understands why we would do this. Would I be the
jerk for hiding this from his mother, but telling others
in our family not the jerk. Go ahead and tell
your family when your mother in law finds out later.
She was the last to know and explodes. Just calmly

(16:16):
tell her it doesn't matter because no one told you.
They already knew, so it would be just as special
to you. Am I the jerk for making my son
pay his own living expenses if he insists on his
mother living with him in my house. My ex and
I did not have an amicable divorce. I'll get that
out of the way. When my parents decided to move
to a retirement village, they passed their house on to me.

(16:38):
The house is a thirty five minute drive from where
my son, Alex twenty two mail is currently attending school.
To help him out so he could just focus on school,
I told him he could live there while he's in
school and just work part time. I pay for the utilities, maintenance,
property tax, et cetera. His car, insurance, phone, and plan
are already paid for by me. I had three rules

(17:00):
for him. One keep the house front and backyards clean
and mode two don't move anyone in without talking to
me about it. First three, he's responsible for his own groceries, gas,
and fun money. Recently, I was in town and swung
by the house to visit, and when Alex opened the door,
he had that deer in the headlight's look. No one

(17:21):
other than my ex wife visible down the hall in
I assumed pajamas. Long story short, she's been living with
him for the last four months. She had to switch
jobs and took a big paycot. I knew he had
been working on his relationship with her the last few years,
but I didn't realize that much. My initial reaction was
to tell her to get her crap and get out
of my house. But not only had she been there

(17:43):
since long enough it would require any eviction process, and
I know she's spiteful enough to make it costly, but
she isn't worth completely losing my relationship with Alex over
by tossing her out. I had a talk with Alex.
His explanation for not telling me when she asked to
stay was that he knew I'd probably say no, and
I let him know he was correct. She managed to
get two years of free child support when both he

(18:06):
and his brother were living with me full time, so
she's gotten enough help from me since he broke the
rules and my trust. I told him, with two working
adults in the house, there's nothing stopping them from paying
all of their own utilities. And they could pay the
yearly property tax and lieu of rent thirty six hundred
dollars versus the lowest rent for a two bedroom being
nine hundred dollars a month. I told him I expect

(18:28):
them to take over utilities in the following billing cycle
and figure it out among themselves and what bills were
going to be in whose name. Alex has been calling
and texting to get me to reconsider. He's gone to
his grandparents as well, who have been on my case
that I can't do that to Alex because it would
cut into time he could dedicate to his studies. And
he's just trying to help his mother out, which I
should be doing instead, since she's the mother of my kids.

(18:51):
I merely think of this as a consequence of his actions.
Edit to add thanks for the feedback. I won't be
selling the house. I plan on living in that house.
I spoke with my lawyer and have an agreement being
drawn up. The ex wife is being given an eviction
notice with thirty days to leave. She's gone one way
or another, but my son will have the option of
either signing and staying or going with her. Not the

(19:14):
jerk your ex wife on the other hand, is a
huge jerk for taking advantage of you and your son
like that. OPI, I suggest you call your son again,
meet somewhere and have a heart to heart discussion about
all of this. Your wife is manipulating your son, and
by making them pay for rent, you're portraying yourself as
the bad guy in your son's eyes. It was very
irresponsible of him to break the rules you gave him,

(19:36):
but he's still young, so I suggest you talk to
him privately, explain what he did wrong, and work on it.
This goes beyond just him breaking the rules and needing
to pay for rent. It's the mom manipulating him, and
I feel like your relationship with your son might get
damaged because of this. Good luck. Well, what do you
think should OP let his ex live in the house
or not? Please let us know. I'd install cameras around

(20:00):
the whole house if I were him, Then set off
sight rins in the house in the middle of the
night and get her reaction. Want to switch sections? Okay?
A couple of years ago, I was waiting tables at
this restaurant in Jersey. This story took place during our
slow season and it was pretty competitive between all the servers.
Every server wanted the better section and the bigger tables.
Since our overall tips were lower than usual, we didn't

(20:22):
pool tips. It got pretty cutthroat at times. I was
doing okay financially, so I wasn't as money hungry as
everyone else. I personally get time anxiety, so I hate
being late to things, So if my shift starts at five,
I'm walking into work at four forty five to get settled,
then clocking in at five to get to work. My coworker, Kayla, however,
had a different attitude. She would walk into work at

(20:45):
five on the dot and clock in and then head
right to the bathroom to put on her makeup, which
took her about fifteen minutes on most days. It was
slow enough that it wasn't an issue, but it still
wasn't right. Call me old fashion, but when your shift
starts at five, you should start working five and not
apply makeup while on the clock while you have other
duties to take care of. I've never had a deal

(21:05):
with putting on makeup, but it just seemed to me
that she should have taken more time while getting ready
to come to work to put it on. I always
let it slide because I'm non confrontational, but it bothered
other coworkers. However, management never got around to addressing it.
One day, I walked in at my usual time, and
as I clocked in at five, I saw Kayla clock
in as well and scurry off to the bathroom. I

(21:28):
rolled my eyes and walk over to the host station,
where there are two people waiting. The host asked if
Kayla was here yet, because she was up for the
first table in the rotation. I told her she was
getting ready in the bathroom. The host rolled her eyes
and went to tell her she was going to get sad.
We all knew she was putting on her makeup. We
weren't going to hassle her if she was on the toilet.

(21:49):
I didn't hear the exact back and forth they had,
but it took longer than I had expected. The last
thing I heard Kayla say was just switch my section.
I'll take the next one. I don't care. So the
host sauntered back at me with a grin, saying, you're
up for this table? Want to help me set it up?
I'm confused set it up. It's only two people. Oh no,

(22:10):
it's a party of fourteen. This is mister money Bag's
niece and nephew. The rest of the family is on
their way for context. Mister money Bags not his real name, obviously,
but it would have been awesome if it was, was
a very wealthy and well known man in our area.
He made his fortune in landscaping and then moved on
to real estate, and believe it or not, he was
one of the few affluent people in our area that

(22:33):
wasn't an entitled jerk. Me and the host set up
the table in record time. Just as the rest of
the party arrived. Everyone began to sit down as I
greeted everyone, and just as luck would have it, I
gave mister money Bags a handshake as I locked eyes
with a dolled up Kayla as she entered the dining room,
and she realized what she had done to herself. The
next two hours, I waited on my fourteen top table

(22:55):
as Kayla waited on two tops. She actually had a
table not tip at all, which awful and I don't condone,
but in this particular situation, oh well, And of course
she kicked herself again when she looked over at my
table's check and saw the fat tip I was getting
off my big table. Oh well, get ready for work,
before work, not at work? Am I the jerk for

(23:17):
wanting a vegetarian wedding? My girlfriend Nina twenty one fake name,
and I also twenty one, are finally getting married this summer. Hooray.
This decision has caused a commotion in itself because we
are too young. We've known each other since kindergarten, we
were high school sweethearts and know exactly what we want
to do. One of those things is have a vegetarian

(23:38):
wedding reception. Both of us have been vegetarian for years,
and it just didn't make sense to serve our guests
something we wouldn't eat. My mother, of course, has a
problem with this, as her hobby is to criticize me.
She thinks that vegetarian food is bland and we will
regret it when our guests go home hungry. She's also
been wanting to be more involved in the wedding, even

(23:58):
though she hasn't been this involved in my life since
I was four or five. Last night it came to
my attention that she canceled our catering service and hired
a new, non vegetarian one. It blows my mind how
she was able to do this. After two exhausting calls
with catering services, we got ours back. I sent her
a message that she just got herself uninvited to the wedding.

(24:20):
A moment later, she called me angry and sounded like
she was crying, but I hung up after a minute.
Nina thinks this is reasonable and that we were generous
to even invite her in the first place, but our
relatives called either angry or disappointed that I would do
this to my mother. But I wouldn't be making this
post if my siblings haven't said the same, and that
I should have made a compromise. So am I the

(24:41):
jerk for wanting this edit? My mother isn't paying anything
in the wedding except for the gift that she would
have brought. Ninety percent of the wedding is paid with
me and Nina's savings, and ten percent is from our
collective siblings, my two and her three. My mother and
dad did offer to pay for at least something, but
I declined because I'm really proud of me and my
fiance for saving enough money for this to be just

(25:03):
our day, not the jerk. It's your wedding, And as
to the idea that vegetarian food is bland, pizza is vegetarian,
mac and cheese is vegetarian, all desserts are vegetarian. If
your mother has genuinely never eaten a meal that didn't
have meat in it, she probably has bigger problems in
her future than being uninvited from your wedding. Edit. A

(25:25):
lot of people in the comment section seem to be
having a similar problem, Like I guess the vegetarian part
makes it sounds like it's nothing but vegetables, but vegetarian
just means no meat. Most foods count as vegetarian, and
everyone here probably has at least some days where they're
technically being vegetarian. Nobody eats meat all the time. Not
the jerk she went behind your back and canceled your caterer.

(25:48):
I would have been pretty upset too. I don't think
uninviting her to the wedding is unreasonable. If she's willing
to sabotage the wedding and it is not happy with
how things are going to be at it, she doesn't
need to be there. This is your wedding, a day
about you and your fiance, and both of you are vegetarians,
not your mother, not anyone else. There are plenty of
vegetarian foods that non vegetarians eat every day that I'm

(26:10):
sure you guys can incorporate into the menu. No one
is going to starve. It's not like you're trying to
starve people. I'm not sure, but perhaps the relatives didn't
understand the context of the situation. Regardless, it's up to
you who gets to attend the wedding, what does and
doesn't happen at the wedding, et cetera. If she can't
be on board with accepting your plans for your wedding
and she's going to make your day about herself, she

(26:33):
really doesn't need to be there. Am I the jerk
for telling my step mom to buzz off after she
uninvited me to the family vacation. I'm eighteen female. Not
sure where to begin with this exactly, but when I
was thirteen, my parents separated and my dad remarried someone
who will call Sarah for clarity. Sarah has never acted
like we're family, just roommates. Granted, it's not like I

(26:55):
gave her the warmest welcome when she came into my life.
I was a teenager and hurting because of the divorce.
I often wonder if my attitude and admittedly accusations of
being my life's downfall, created such a divide I'll never
be able to heal it anyway. As the years have
gone by, we for the most part stick to ourselves.
We chatted out at a family activity like bowling or whatever,

(27:18):
but other than that we don't speak unless she's telling
me to do chores. I was getting ready to go
to class when my younger stepbrother kept coming in and
getting in my way. For some reason, the little jerk
thinks it's the funniest thing in the world to grab
something I need while getting ready and run off with it.
This is weirdly routine. I was putting on my shoes
and my little brother walks up to the kitchen table

(27:38):
where I am. He grabs my laptop and runs. Because
this sort of thing has happened before, I immediately start
running after him and yelling about how important my laptop is.
When I caught him, I'm almost screaming I'm tired of
him taking my stuff. When I need to leave the house,
Sarah comes in and starts yelling at me because my
brother has tears in his eyes. I try explaining he

(27:59):
took my laptop, and Sarah knows he does this and
usually takes my side on this. Sarah tells me it's
unacceptable to blow up at a twelve year old, and
because I'm upset, I immediately say something close to he
deserves it. Sarah then tells me that she can't handle
having an adult so irresponsible as me around the house
acting like this. She says that I can't go on

(28:19):
vacation with the rest of the family this year. I
blow up even more and tell her to buzz off
and that she's never liked me to begin with. Now
my dad and stepmom say I can't come on vacation
for how I treated my step mom. Am I the jerk?
Not the jerk? Uninviting you from an entire vacation. What's
really the nuclear option here? From the story you tell

(28:39):
I don't believe you deserve that. I'd be angry too,
not the jerk. I literally lived this life. You're a teenager,
and she's an adult. Anyone who expects a warm welcome
from a teen who just had their life you pended
by divorce is both an idiot and a jerk. I
know how painful this is. And it isn't probably much
about Sarah, but more about your dad her side. Your

(29:01):
brother needs to grow up. Honestly, at twelve, it almost
sounds like he has some sort of weird infatuation. He
seems too old to play a game like that. Unfortunately,
you can't change any of it. Keep your head low,
try to avoid major blow ups, and focus on when
you can move out. Apologize to Sarah now, not because
you were wrong, but because it's the path of least resistance.

(29:22):
Always take the path of least resistance with her. I
promise anything else won't get you what you want and
will just be more painful. Trust me. Eventually make the
family you never had, find an amazing partner, and commit
dig in give your kids what you didn't have. Am
I the jerk for refusing to take a DNA test
to confirm my fiance and I are not related? So

(29:44):
I'm twenty seven male and my fiance, who's twenty six female,
is adopted. She was adopted at birth and hasn't had
any contact with her birth family. She read an article
a few months ago about how a married couple who
were both adopted found out later that they were biological siblings.
Six years into their marriage. Now she's worried that might
be us, even though I wasn't adopted. I've explained to

(30:06):
her over and over again that my parents have been
faithful to each other, so there's no way that we're siblings.
She still wants us to get tested in case there's
an uncle or other relative of mine that got around.
She knows what her mom did for work, and our
families lived in the same major city. I think she's
being ridiculous. I don't want to waste two hundred dollars
on us getting tested. I don't want to have my

(30:28):
DNA sitting in some database where it can be hacked into.
I also don't want my data sitting on a website
where anyone connected to my tree can find me. It
weirds me out. I told her I wasn't comfortable with
her getting tested either, because who knows what skeletons her
biological family have in the closet. I don't want her
to find out that she's related to bad people and
then be upset. I also don't want half of my

(30:50):
future kids genetic makeups sitting in some confidential corporate database.
I told her all of this, but she still brings
it off. I may have crossed a line to when
I told her that she was being disrespectful of my
family by indicating one of them may have abandoned their kid.
She started crying and left. She's not answering any of
my phone calls or texts. Her sister is calling me

(31:12):
a jerk for saying mean things about her biological family.
As far as I'm concerned, they abandon her, so they
don't exist to me and I don't owe them any respect.
On the other hand, they are genetically related to her,
so maybe by proxy, I'm calling her a dead beat too.
I still don't want either of us to do the test,
but I have a feeling this isn't going to blow over.

(31:32):
So am I the jerk? If I continue standing firm
and refuse to get tested, You're the jerk, dude. You
could just go to your medical provider, explain the situation,
and have them run a comparison. It's really not rocket science,
and the results don't need to be sordid or skeletons
on Earth, but it is an easy way to get
the answer your future wife is after and settling her
mind as to the reasoning for the doc we are

(31:55):
thinking of having kids, and this is a valid concern
that we are related. Please have our DNA compare you're
the jerk. I was going with not the jerk until
I read your last stanza. That is plain mean. Man.
You're insulting her birth parents while even she doesn't know
much about them. Her concerns are also quite more severe
than yours. How could she be feeling safe and happy

(32:15):
with you with questions like this lurking in her head?
This will definitely not blow over. You'd be wiser to
give in. Yikes, you're the jerk, not because you don't
want to get tested, but because you've said that she
shouldn't and pretty much everything else that came out of
your mouth and the process of saying it. Not the jerk.
She needs to seek professional help because she's being delusional.

(32:38):
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