August 22, 2025 • 12 mins
In this episode of Smith's On Demand, we break down five key things godly women should never compromise when choosing a partner. From shared faith to respect, effort, vision, and a relationship that brings you closer to God, we explore biblical wisdom and real-life experiences to help you make wise choices in love. If you’ve ever wondered what standards matter most when it comes to finding a God-centered relationship, this conversation is for you.
CHAPTERS:
00:00 Introduction to Couch Conversations
00:19 Five Things Godly Women Should Never Settle For
00:48 1. A Man Who Doesn't Share Your Faith in Action
02:42 2. Disrespect of Any Kind
04:18 3. Inconsistent Effort and Communication
06:02 4. A Lack of Vision or Purpose
09:09 5. A Relationship That Pulls You Away from God
10:36 Final Thoughts and Encouragement
11:19 Conclusion and Call to Action
Join Our Relationship Community: https://www.instagram.com/channel/AbYzKz9kXqF89HOW/?igsh=ZzlzbWZ5NnBqMmRy
Follow Us:
@breannaaponte - https://www.instagram.com/breannaaponte/
@itsdresmith - https://www.instagram.com/smithsondemand/
@smithsondemand - https://www.instagram.com/smithsondemand/
@relationshiprestored - https://www.instagram.com/relationshiprestored/
CHAPTERS:
00:00 Introduction to Couch Conversations
00:19 Five Things Godly Women Should Never Settle For
00:48 1. A Man Who Doesn't Share Your Faith in Action
02:42 2. Disrespect of Any Kind
04:18 3. Inconsistent Effort and Communication
06:02 4. A Lack of Vision or Purpose
09:09 5. A Relationship That Pulls You Away from God
10:36 Final Thoughts and Encouragement
11:19 Conclusion and Call to Action
Join Our Relationship Community: https://www.instagram.com/channel/AbYzKz9kXqF89HOW/?igsh=ZzlzbWZ5NnBqMmRy
Follow Us:
@breannaaponte - https://www.instagram.com/breannaaponte/
@itsdresmith - https://www.instagram.com/smithsondemand/
@smithsondemand - https://www.instagram.com/smithsondemand/
@relationshiprestored - https://www.instagram.com/relationshiprestored/
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome back to Dismiss's on Demand. We're here with another
episode of Couch Conversations. And as y'all know, Drey and
I waited for marriage. We literally had one of our
very first dates at a prophetic conference. So God was
all over and all up and in our relationship and
really showed us signs that we were right for each
other very early on. So we are excited to share
(00:20):
five things godly women should never settle for in love.
At the end of the day, we all know that
if you know your worth and if you truly love God,
you know that he has the best thing.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
Waiting for you.
Speaker 1 (00:31):
And if anything, if you haven't found it yet, he's
just preparing you or preparing your person to be able
to meet you where you are so that everything falls
into place. And so when you step outside of what
God has for you, you're not just.
Speaker 2 (00:44):
Selling yourself short. You're truly just.
Speaker 1 (00:47):
Dismissing the life that He has for you. And so
these are five things that we really feel will help
you make sure that you don't settle for anything less
than what you deserve, all right.
Speaker 3 (00:57):
Number one is a man who doesn't share your faith
in action. Two Corinthians six fourteen says, don't be unequally yoke.
You don't want to be a Christian and not dating
a Christian because that's just not really going to work.
But it's all about your actions. Like I grew up
in the church. I went to a Christian school from
elementary school to middle school. I played the drums and church,
(01:19):
I was part of the usherboard, I did everything. And
I've seen people who in words say that they believe
in God and that it's really ingrained in their faith.
However you don't see it in their actions. But also
one thing I learned too is that everybody's relationship with
God is different, right, but you should be able to
see it in their everyday walk, their morals, like not
(01:39):
just on Sundays, but how they show up in their
everyday lives. And I think that that's something that my
wife saw me as she could speak to that is
that by the time we had met, I had a
real different relationship with church because I was impacted by
a lot of the hypocrisy that I saw, but it
was so ingrained in me that I live my life
(02:01):
every single day aligned with what I feel like God
says he wants us to do and how we should
live our life. So much that I told her before
we got serious that I wanted to wait for marriage
like that was all aligned with my posture and my relationship,
you know, with God. So not just in words when
it comes to faith, but also in action are going
(02:22):
to be very important when you're looking for your man,
because if you having him lead you, you want to
know who leads him.
Speaker 1 (02:28):
And I would say something I have always said and
still say, is that Drey's love was the closest thing
that I experienced to God's love. I truly looked at
the way that Dre moved, the way that he spoke,
the way that he thought, the way that he prayed.
Speaker 2 (02:42):
And just who he was in general, and I was
like that, that is a godly man.
Speaker 1 (02:48):
That is somebody who I would follow. Number two disrespect
of any kind. Proverbs thirty one twenty five talks about dignity,
and dignity is really just feeling worthy, feeling and being
treated with respect. Let me tell you this, no matter
how many disagreements, arguments, or situations that we got into
where I wasn't treating him kindly, he never never disrespected me,
(03:14):
never called me out of my name, never hit me,
never threw anything, never made me feel like I was
in danger. He always safeguarded and protected me and responded
with nothing.
Speaker 2 (03:26):
But grace even when I wasn't giving that to him.
And so as a woman of God, we have this book.
Speaker 1 (03:31):
Of Scriptures that is all about God just sharing and
showing his love for us and the way that our
husband is supposed to love and treat us.
Speaker 2 (03:38):
And so when you know that, you stand by that.
Speaker 3 (03:40):
Yeah. And I've been blessed to have both of my
parents be pastors. My grandmother was a church school superintendent,
and I had so many positive influences in my life,
and not just saying church goers, but people that resembled
God and the way that they walk. So that was
instilled in me. So I think just my demeanor and
the way I all about things is with that grace
(04:03):
and that mindset of understanding that everybody's in a different place.
But you treat people with respect and you treat people
with dignity, And especially as somebody coming into a relationship
supposed to be as being the leader, like I need
to resemble that. Even at times early on if it
was a little tough and we had back and forth,
never to let it cross that line, especially for me,
(04:24):
because I have to be the one that's leading away.
Number three is inconsistent effort and communication. James one eight says,
a double minded man is unstable in all his ways. Like,
you have to be consistent, and that's truly what love is,
and that's how you build trust in your relationship. We
see that love from God to us, but then we
(04:44):
take that love and example and give it towards our partner,
like love is a choice. Like sometimes you might not
like your person all the time, but if you love them,
you show up consistently every single day so that they
know that they can trust you as a leader of
the ref Yeah.
Speaker 1 (05:01):
I think for me being someone who was really struggling
in her personal life, like I was in a full
on transition where you know, I wasn't perfectly packaged together.
I came with a lot of baggage, and I was
upfront and honest about all the things that I was
dealing with and going through. It was I felt safe
(05:23):
bringing those things to him. I never hid what I
was going through. I never was afraid to be honest
and tell him.
Speaker 2 (05:30):
The truth about any of my situations.
Speaker 1 (05:32):
The way that he showed up and was consistent with
showing up. Was another thing that made me again say like, wow,
this is an example of what God's love is like,
somebody choosing to show up for you and just choose
you and be consistent with showing up for you time
and time again, even when things aren't great and dandy
(05:53):
right Like everyone says, it's easy to be consistent in
love when you go through like the honeymoon stage, but
the true test is when you go through something hard,
and that for me was a true tell sign of like,
this is a man of God, and not only is
he a man of God, but he is my man.
Speaker 2 (06:10):
Oh Number four a.
Speaker 1 (06:13):
Lack of vision or purpose. Proverbs twenty nine eighteen says
that where there is no vision, the people perish. A
godly man should have vision for his life and a
willingness to align visions with you. This was something very
early on that me and Drea got to test because
three months into being together, we started a business and
he quit his job and we put all of our
(06:36):
eggs in one basket in starting this business together. And
for me it was the first time where I truly
was a part of a man having a vision and
the vision not working unless I was in it. And
that was wild a three months of dating, right, But
it showed the level of his faith, and it showed
the level of his commitment and just overall his obedience
(07:00):
to what God put in his heart, but also what
God was doing with our relationship.
Speaker 3 (07:04):
Yeah, I think goal setting together is so important. It's
like when it comes to setting goals in a relationship,
there are so many factors that can change, but there
are a lot of things that stay the same. And
we're not talking about, oh, this person has to work
at this job. We're not talking about this person has
to do this. We're not talking about positioning. We're talking
about purpose, like where are we trying to go? What
(07:26):
type of life are we trying to have? And I
think it's important for me as a man, and like
I said, somebody who's leading to be able to set
the direction, but also as another thing which is going
to be important is to be able to put together
a plan for Hey, this is how we're going to
get there. And there should be confidence in that you
can actually instill in her and somebody who's following you
(07:47):
to say like, hey, you know, I know that you
may not understand it this time, but I have a confidence.
I've prayed about this, I've thought about this, Brinos. God
talks to me a lot, and definitely in the shower
a little bit more straightforward her she'll see a license
plate that say trust God. But for me, it's like
I hear him in different ways. So it's like when
(08:09):
I'm saying something, there's a belief that like, Okay, this
is where we need to go. And I think throughout
our relationship there's history in a track record that a
lot of times when I'm very adamant about something, it
does end up working out for us. So that builds
that relationship to say, like, okay, if you say you
got a plan and you thought about it and you
prayed about it, and you talked to people and you
(08:30):
feel good about it, and then let's go forward with that.
Speaker 1 (08:32):
A good example of this is we recently, almost a
year ago, Drake came to me and was like, I
think you should retire your business and just focus on
like starting a family, and we just do Relationship Restored
and smiss on demand full time.
Speaker 2 (08:48):
That was something that for me, it.
Speaker 1 (08:51):
Wasn't even like a thought in my mind, but because
of my love and trust for him and because of
his consistency and how he has shown and proved time
and time again that the decisions that he is making
and that we're making together are for the betterment of
our relationship in our long term well being. And so
it is just a beautiful thing to find a man
(09:12):
who you can truly follow without any questions.
Speaker 3 (09:16):
And number five, this is the most obvious one. A
relationship that pulls you away from God. You should not
be with somebody who is not feeding into your faith
but pulling away from your faith, like they are doing
things that don't align with your morals and your values,
and it just doesn't feel right, and you feel like
you have to compromise your faith, who you are and
what you believe to be with that person. And it's
(09:37):
not even saying that they're a bad person or that
they won't come back to their faith, that they kind
of like, you know, went off to the left or
went off to the right. But if you are in
this walk and you want to be in a position
to where you're aligning with God, I think it's important
to be with somebody who is on that journey. But
I want to emphasize who that this is not mean
(09:58):
perfection like you are not and the judge seat and
they are the defendant to where every single action that
they're taking, you're looking at them like, oh, that's not
a line with God. That's not a line with God,
and that's not a line with God. It's really about
the heart of the person, like how are they going
about things? What's their thought process? They're a human, They're
going to make mistakes, and don't uh what they say
(10:19):
whenever you point the finger is five or four pointing
back at you. It's like if you try to put
the spotlight on somebody for not doing something godly, like
they could easily do that back to you, because we're
all not perfect. We're going to make mistakes. But the
heart of their actions, the things that they say, like
those things should align. And if they're constantly pushing you
and pulling you to do things that aren't aligned, that
(10:42):
probably isn't the person you want to be with if
you want to stay true in your faith.
Speaker 1 (10:45):
Yeah, and I want to end the video on just
reminding you that if you are a woman of God,
that means that you are trusting God's timing. If you
are single, baby, live your best life.
Speaker 2 (10:56):
You do not need a life partner to be happy,
to be whole, or to enjoy life.
Speaker 1 (11:02):
You just don't again, trust God's timing. What's for you
is for you, but enjoy the process. And what do
the girls do nowadays? Is it this?
Speaker 2 (11:11):
Do you boom live your best life? Is it this
or this?
Speaker 1 (11:14):
Y'all?
Speaker 2 (11:15):
Let me know in the comments. I don't know. It's
one of these things. Yeah, Tea, live your best life.
Speaker 1 (11:20):
Okay, your man is coming for sure in like a
good stake.
Speaker 3 (11:24):
Okay, Like Brie said, everything's about God's timing. We are
in the process of trying to start a family and
we've had two miscarriages, but we're understanding that it's all
about God's timing. So if you want to hear about
our journey and our process to ups and downs of that,
make sure you go to our Couch Conversations playlist to
check out like us talking about our miscarriages and how
(11:46):
we initially felt going into them in the beginning and
how we felt after happened too.
Speaker 2 (11:50):
Yep, thank you guys so much for watching.
Speaker 1 (11:52):
Make sure to like, comment and subscribe.
Speaker 2 (11:54):
It is free for you. What means the world to us.
And until next time, see you
Welcome back to Dismiss's on Demand. We're here with another
episode of Couch Conversations. And as y'all know, Drey and
I waited for marriage. We literally had one of our
very first dates at a prophetic conference. So God was
all over and all up and in our relationship and
really showed us signs that we were right for each
other very early on. So we are excited to share
(00:20):
five things godly women should never settle for in love.
At the end of the day, we all know that
if you know your worth and if you truly love God,
you know that he has the best thing.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
Waiting for you.
Speaker 1 (00:31):
And if anything, if you haven't found it yet, he's
just preparing you or preparing your person to be able
to meet you where you are so that everything falls
into place. And so when you step outside of what
God has for you, you're not just.
Speaker 2 (00:44):
Selling yourself short. You're truly just.
Speaker 1 (00:47):
Dismissing the life that He has for you. And so
these are five things that we really feel will help
you make sure that you don't settle for anything less
than what you deserve, all right.
Speaker 3 (00:57):
Number one is a man who doesn't share your faith
in action. Two Corinthians six fourteen says, don't be unequally yoke.
You don't want to be a Christian and not dating
a Christian because that's just not really going to work.
But it's all about your actions. Like I grew up
in the church. I went to a Christian school from
elementary school to middle school. I played the drums and church,
(01:19):
I was part of the usherboard, I did everything. And
I've seen people who in words say that they believe
in God and that it's really ingrained in their faith.
However you don't see it in their actions. But also
one thing I learned too is that everybody's relationship with
God is different, right, but you should be able to
see it in their everyday walk, their morals, like not
(01:39):
just on Sundays, but how they show up in their
everyday lives. And I think that that's something that my
wife saw me as she could speak to that is
that by the time we had met, I had a
real different relationship with church because I was impacted by
a lot of the hypocrisy that I saw, but it
was so ingrained in me that I live my life
(02:01):
every single day aligned with what I feel like God
says he wants us to do and how we should
live our life. So much that I told her before
we got serious that I wanted to wait for marriage
like that was all aligned with my posture and my relationship,
you know, with God. So not just in words when
it comes to faith, but also in action are going
(02:22):
to be very important when you're looking for your man,
because if you having him lead you, you want to
know who leads him.
Speaker 1 (02:28):
And I would say something I have always said and
still say, is that Drey's love was the closest thing
that I experienced to God's love. I truly looked at
the way that Dre moved, the way that he spoke,
the way that he thought, the way that he prayed.
Speaker 2 (02:42):
And just who he was in general, and I was
like that, that is a godly man.
Speaker 1 (02:48):
That is somebody who I would follow. Number two disrespect
of any kind. Proverbs thirty one twenty five talks about dignity,
and dignity is really just feeling worthy, feeling and being
treated with respect. Let me tell you this, no matter
how many disagreements, arguments, or situations that we got into
where I wasn't treating him kindly, he never never disrespected me,
(03:14):
never called me out of my name, never hit me,
never threw anything, never made me feel like I was
in danger. He always safeguarded and protected me and responded
with nothing.
Speaker 2 (03:26):
But grace even when I wasn't giving that to him.
And so as a woman of God, we have this book.
Speaker 1 (03:31):
Of Scriptures that is all about God just sharing and
showing his love for us and the way that our
husband is supposed to love and treat us.
Speaker 2 (03:38):
And so when you know that, you stand by that.
Speaker 3 (03:40):
Yeah. And I've been blessed to have both of my
parents be pastors. My grandmother was a church school superintendent,
and I had so many positive influences in my life,
and not just saying church goers, but people that resembled
God and the way that they walk. So that was
instilled in me. So I think just my demeanor and
the way I all about things is with that grace
(04:03):
and that mindset of understanding that everybody's in a different place.
But you treat people with respect and you treat people
with dignity, And especially as somebody coming into a relationship
supposed to be as being the leader, like I need
to resemble that. Even at times early on if it
was a little tough and we had back and forth,
never to let it cross that line, especially for me,
(04:24):
because I have to be the one that's leading away.
Number three is inconsistent effort and communication. James one eight says,
a double minded man is unstable in all his ways. Like,
you have to be consistent, and that's truly what love is,
and that's how you build trust in your relationship. We
see that love from God to us, but then we
(04:44):
take that love and example and give it towards our partner,
like love is a choice. Like sometimes you might not
like your person all the time, but if you love them,
you show up consistently every single day so that they
know that they can trust you as a leader of
the ref Yeah.
Speaker 1 (05:01):
I think for me being someone who was really struggling
in her personal life, like I was in a full
on transition where you know, I wasn't perfectly packaged together.
I came with a lot of baggage, and I was
upfront and honest about all the things that I was
dealing with and going through. It was I felt safe
(05:23):
bringing those things to him. I never hid what I
was going through. I never was afraid to be honest
and tell him.
Speaker 2 (05:30):
The truth about any of my situations.
Speaker 1 (05:32):
The way that he showed up and was consistent with
showing up. Was another thing that made me again say like, wow,
this is an example of what God's love is like,
somebody choosing to show up for you and just choose
you and be consistent with showing up for you time
and time again, even when things aren't great and dandy
(05:53):
right Like everyone says, it's easy to be consistent in
love when you go through like the honeymoon stage, but
the true test is when you go through something hard,
and that for me was a true tell sign of like,
this is a man of God, and not only is
he a man of God, but he is my man.
Speaker 2 (06:10):
Oh Number four a.
Speaker 1 (06:13):
Lack of vision or purpose. Proverbs twenty nine eighteen says
that where there is no vision, the people perish. A
godly man should have vision for his life and a
willingness to align visions with you. This was something very
early on that me and Drea got to test because
three months into being together, we started a business and
he quit his job and we put all of our
(06:36):
eggs in one basket in starting this business together. And
for me it was the first time where I truly
was a part of a man having a vision and
the vision not working unless I was in it. And
that was wild a three months of dating, right, But
it showed the level of his faith, and it showed
the level of his commitment and just overall his obedience
(07:00):
to what God put in his heart, but also what
God was doing with our relationship.
Speaker 3 (07:04):
Yeah, I think goal setting together is so important. It's
like when it comes to setting goals in a relationship,
there are so many factors that can change, but there
are a lot of things that stay the same. And
we're not talking about, oh, this person has to work
at this job. We're not talking about this person has
to do this. We're not talking about positioning. We're talking
about purpose, like where are we trying to go? What
(07:26):
type of life are we trying to have? And I
think it's important for me as a man, and like
I said, somebody who's leading to be able to set
the direction, but also as another thing which is going
to be important is to be able to put together
a plan for Hey, this is how we're going to
get there. And there should be confidence in that you
can actually instill in her and somebody who's following you
(07:47):
to say like, hey, you know, I know that you
may not understand it this time, but I have a confidence.
I've prayed about this, I've thought about this, Brinos. God
talks to me a lot, and definitely in the shower
a little bit more straightforward her she'll see a license
plate that say trust God. But for me, it's like
I hear him in different ways. So it's like when
(08:09):
I'm saying something, there's a belief that like, Okay, this
is where we need to go. And I think throughout
our relationship there's history in a track record that a
lot of times when I'm very adamant about something, it
does end up working out for us. So that builds
that relationship to say, like, okay, if you say you
got a plan and you thought about it and you
prayed about it, and you talked to people and you
(08:30):
feel good about it, and then let's go forward with that.
Speaker 1 (08:32):
A good example of this is we recently, almost a
year ago, Drake came to me and was like, I
think you should retire your business and just focus on
like starting a family, and we just do Relationship Restored
and smiss on demand full time.
Speaker 2 (08:48):
That was something that for me, it.
Speaker 1 (08:51):
Wasn't even like a thought in my mind, but because
of my love and trust for him and because of
his consistency and how he has shown and proved time
and time again that the decisions that he is making
and that we're making together are for the betterment of
our relationship in our long term well being. And so
it is just a beautiful thing to find a man
(09:12):
who you can truly follow without any questions.
Speaker 3 (09:16):
And number five, this is the most obvious one. A
relationship that pulls you away from God. You should not
be with somebody who is not feeding into your faith
but pulling away from your faith, like they are doing
things that don't align with your morals and your values,
and it just doesn't feel right, and you feel like
you have to compromise your faith, who you are and
what you believe to be with that person. And it's
(09:37):
not even saying that they're a bad person or that
they won't come back to their faith, that they kind
of like, you know, went off to the left or
went off to the right. But if you are in
this walk and you want to be in a position
to where you're aligning with God, I think it's important
to be with somebody who is on that journey. But
I want to emphasize who that this is not mean
(09:58):
perfection like you are not and the judge seat and
they are the defendant to where every single action that
they're taking, you're looking at them like, oh, that's not
a line with God. That's not a line with God,
and that's not a line with God. It's really about
the heart of the person, like how are they going
about things? What's their thought process? They're a human, They're
going to make mistakes, and don't uh what they say
(10:19):
whenever you point the finger is five or four pointing
back at you. It's like if you try to put
the spotlight on somebody for not doing something godly, like
they could easily do that back to you, because we're
all not perfect. We're going to make mistakes. But the
heart of their actions, the things that they say, like
those things should align. And if they're constantly pushing you
and pulling you to do things that aren't aligned, that
(10:42):
probably isn't the person you want to be with if
you want to stay true in your faith.
Speaker 1 (10:45):
Yeah, and I want to end the video on just
reminding you that if you are a woman of God,
that means that you are trusting God's timing. If you
are single, baby, live your best life.
Speaker 2 (10:56):
You do not need a life partner to be happy,
to be whole, or to enjoy life.
Speaker 1 (11:02):
You just don't again, trust God's timing. What's for you
is for you, but enjoy the process. And what do
the girls do nowadays? Is it this?
Speaker 2 (11:11):
Do you boom live your best life? Is it this
or this?
Speaker 1 (11:14):
Y'all?
Speaker 2 (11:15):
Let me know in the comments. I don't know. It's
one of these things. Yeah, Tea, live your best life.
Speaker 1 (11:20):
Okay, your man is coming for sure in like a
good stake.
Speaker 3 (11:24):
Okay, Like Brie said, everything's about God's timing. We are
in the process of trying to start a family and
we've had two miscarriages, but we're understanding that it's all
about God's timing. So if you want to hear about
our journey and our process to ups and downs of that,
make sure you go to our Couch Conversations playlist to
check out like us talking about our miscarriages and how
(11:46):
we initially felt going into them in the beginning and
how we felt after happened too.
Speaker 2 (11:50):
Yep, thank you guys so much for watching.
Speaker 1 (11:52):
Make sure to like, comment and subscribe.
Speaker 2 (11:54):
It is free for you. What means the world to us.
And until next time, see you
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