We Were Pregnant… But Had a Miscarriage

In this deeply personal episode, we share our experience with pregnancy and miscarriage, hoping to offer support and a sense of community to anyone who has gone through something similar. From the excitement of starting our journey and finding out we were pregnant, to the heartbreak of learning there was no heartbeat during our first appointment, we open up about the emotional challenges we faced, the decisions we made, and how we’re healing. We reflect on why we waited to start a family, the lessons we’ve learned, and our hopes for the future. Thank you for listening to our story—if you’re navigating a similar experience, know that you’re not alone, and we’re sending you love and strength. Together, we can move forward with hope for brighter days ahead.

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Bre on IG: @breannaaponte
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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey guys, welcome back to the channel and to the podcast.

Speaker 2 (00:03):
Drey and Brie here, And as you probably know about
looking at the thumbnail, looking at the title, this isn't
gonna be the easiest video to go through, but we
thought it was just important to just talk about it,
share our experience, let you guys know what we learned,
so that we can ultimately share it with other people.
If you're new to the channel, make sure it's describe

(00:24):
like comment. Check out all the other shows, and go
to relationship restore dot com to join our online community
for both singles and couples. It's great there and you're
gonna love it. So in this video, we're talking just
like the title says, we were pregnant and we ended
up having a miscarriage. So we're going to talk about

(00:45):
that whole process of you know, what was our vision
for our family ultimately, you know, when we started conceiving,
how we tried to conceive up into getting the news,
going to our our appointments, and you know ultimately where
we are today.

Speaker 1 (01:04):
So I guess we'll get started.

Speaker 2 (01:08):
So I'll get started with basically talking about when we
first met, we knew that we wanted a bigger family.

Speaker 3 (01:14):
Right, Well, I knew, well.

Speaker 2 (01:17):
We both knew we wanted a bigger family. What big means,
it's subjective to the person that's communicating that message. So
for me, I had step brothers and sisters, but for
most of my early life I didn't have any siblings.
And I feel like when you're that only child, initially
you always want like siblings.

Speaker 1 (01:38):
I want a sister, I want a brother. So that
was always something I wanted, and.

Speaker 2 (01:42):
You you had a brother, but it was like y'all
weren't necessarily in the home together for a long time.

Speaker 3 (01:47):
Yeah, we said I had a brother.

Speaker 1 (01:50):
She has a brother.

Speaker 4 (01:51):
Yes, he is still six years younger. And I moved
out at an early age. So yeah, but I grew
up with foster and sisters, so it was always a
house full of children.

Speaker 1 (02:04):
So when Brian and.

Speaker 2 (02:05):
I had the conversation when we first met what we
want for a family, I was always like the three range.
But she had always told me early on that she
wanted to adopt. And you can give the reason why
you wanted to adopt.

Speaker 4 (02:17):
Yeah, so I from an early age, you know, my
mom did foster care, and I was just privy to
the fact that there were kids out there who like
didn't have homes or parents, and for me, I you know,
just couldn't imagine myself like having a baby knowing that

(02:38):
there's kids out there who like don't have a home
and don't have a mom. So for me, it was
very important that if I was going to have physical children,
like I absolutely had to adopt.

Speaker 3 (02:50):
And I would be fine with just adopting.

Speaker 4 (02:54):
However, obviously you know, Dre really wants to biological children,
so I'm down for both. But that's where the big
face only came from, because if I'm going to have
two or three children biologically, I want to be able
to adopt to the three children. So yeah, I just
I don't know, I just can't imagine my life without it.
I feel like anyone who is able should you know,

(03:16):
give a home to a little kid out there who
doesn't have one. So I just really have a special
place in my heart for all the kid who was
out there who need a home.

Speaker 2 (03:24):
Yes, she does, and that was something that she was
very adamed about when we first met. And you know,
it was still tough, not tough for me because you know,
I was on board with it, but just you know,
there's so many things misconceptions about adoption, and you just
have to learn more about it. So over the years,
I've become more and more open to what that could

(03:46):
possibly look like and excited to just grow our family
and have like a house full of people when we
do get that home.

Speaker 1 (03:55):
So when it came to us planning when we.

Speaker 2 (03:59):
Got married, we knew first all for like, we knew
from the go that we weren't trying to be those
married people that had a baby like a month later
into the process, Like we knew that we wanted to
take our time. And it's funny like when I was younger, theoretically,
I was like, oh, I want to have a baby
young and so I can run around and do this

(04:20):
and do that. But then first when you're young girl,
they make you think like thirty is old, when it's like, nah,
I feel great at this age, and I feel like
at forty or fifty, I know some fifty six year
olds that look great feel great. So I'm not fearful
of that now. But when you get older and you
start to having bills and have relationship, you realize, like,

(04:41):
I don't want to disrupt this life quite yet. You
know to have a little one, because we know that's
just in a major change in that relationship. So we
decided that we would just wait some time. I don't
even think we had like an actual like date necessarily.
We just kind of knew we just it was more

(05:02):
like situational, right.

Speaker 4 (05:03):
Yeah. I was gonna say I had a plan of
having my business grow to a certain point, having a
coo and like not having to do the day to
day operations of my business, and that for me would
have been like, Okay, that's done.

Speaker 3 (05:17):
Now we can baby.

Speaker 4 (05:19):
But as you guys know from our previous video, we
have switched things all the way up from a business standpoint.
So at the time we were trying, it was just
kind of like everything went out the window and we
were just like we were both really ready and it
just felt right, and so we were like, let's get
to it.

Speaker 1 (05:38):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (05:38):
I remember when I first met you, you were like,
I want to wait till thirty six or something like that,
and I was like, Bride, that is way too long
to me waited, But yeah, we I think for us
it was more situational than it was like a particular age.

Speaker 1 (05:52):
We just wanted to because.

Speaker 2 (05:53):
People always say and always says there's no right time,
but it's like there is maybe not a perfect time
to where everything might be aligned, but I think there's
more ideal times and less ideal times, and we felt
like we could be in control of when that time
was for us. So that's what we decided to do.

(06:15):
We decided to wait till we were a little further along,
not saying we couldn't have did it when we were younger,
but it would have been a lot more challenging and
a lot more difficult than versus now, even not even
because of financial thing that a lot of people think of,
but just like how we communicate with each other, how
we worked together as partners, Like where we were five

(06:35):
years ago versus where we are now, it would have
made having a baby like a way harder process than
where we are now. So then we decided twenty twenty four,
basically kind of that summer, we were just kind of
talking about it more and we were like, all right,
trying to get off the Burke control. Well, actually the
decision was made almost like a year before that when

(06:56):
she got off for IUD, because we knew that, all right,
we're going to start trying at some point, so she
got on the pill for about a year, and then.

Speaker 4 (07:04):
I wanted a hot girl summer, not that the hot
girl summer, but like being out and feeling hot. So
I was like, I want to do a birthday trip,
like a big girls trip to Cabo and just like
enjoy all the margaritas and the tequila shots with my girls,
and then when we come back, get off the pill
and actually start trying.

Speaker 3 (07:25):
So that was the plan and we stuck to it.

Speaker 1 (07:27):
Yes we did. So both of our birthdays are in October.

Speaker 2 (07:30):
Bre went on her Cabo trip at the beginning of October, right,
she had a blast. And then during the month of
October when you try to track all the stuff and whatnot,
we started trying, and literally a month of trying, like

(07:51):
was starting to what was your signs?

Speaker 3 (07:53):
Oh my gosh, I was so sick. So first before
the test that yes, baby, don't. The first thing was
my titties.

Speaker 1 (08:01):
Oh yeah, you said they were hurting.

Speaker 4 (08:03):
I was like, oh my god, they felt like glass,
Like it hurt to lay on them, Like I'm a
stomach sleeper, it hurt to lay on them, just like
walking around every day, like they would just randomly, just
like Gorge, I was like, oh my gosh, it just hurts.
Even if you're not touching them, they would just like hurt.

(08:24):
So that was the first thing. Then I got really sick.
So it was just like kind of I felt like
I had the flu or like COVID, just very sick.
And it was like the nausea, like the food adversions,
just like not feeling good, not wanting anything. And I
was extremely tired, like I was sleeping.

Speaker 3 (08:47):
All the time.

Speaker 4 (08:48):
She's not a napper, no, And I was like, yeah,
I was like a professional sleeper for like two weeks.

Speaker 3 (08:55):
It was crazy.

Speaker 2 (08:55):
One thing I'll say too, before we get into like
the actual pregnancy, is that one thing I did say
to her. I don't know if you remember this, but
she was still giving me pushback about like trying because
she just wanted to wait. And this was if you
watched our last video, this was still she was at
the point of like the house and this all has
to be in place in order for this to happen.

(09:15):
I was just like like, I don't want to.

Speaker 1 (09:20):
I know that you're okay with adopting, and.

Speaker 2 (09:23):
You're fine if that's just all that we do, that's
not necessarily all that I want and I don't want
to get to a place to where I resent you
because I feel like we run into a lot of
issues because of your age or something like that. So
I would love if we could start trying now. And
that was just me being honest and not even saying
in that moment I resented her, but just saying I

(09:44):
could see how if we waited until like thirty five
or thirty six, that, you know, if there were a
lot of complications. And the doctor said, well, you know
at this age, just this, at this age, is that
that I would probably feel some type of way. So
I didn't want that to be a thing, so I
wanted to make sure I communicated that to really.

Speaker 4 (10:03):
He told me that over dinner over a really yummy filet,
and I was like, dang man, I was like, I
wish I was younger, because it did feel like how
they always say with women, how we have like this
ticking clock.

Speaker 3 (10:21):
It was like, I know, was that.

Speaker 4 (10:24):
It was like I didn't feel ready necessarily because I
was like I just didn't feel my age, like I
didn't feel old enough. I just felt like we weren't
supposed to do it yet. But when I heard him
say that and then I thought about just life in general.
I was like, okay, that's fair. I think I just
have to wrap my mind around it. And within a

(10:46):
few days I definitely got really excited for it. And
I think it's all about perspective, like what I had
found important prior to us having that conversation and really
just being like, okay, so what does it look like
to get pregnant and have a baby now?

Speaker 3 (11:00):
The first thing is that we forget that you're pregnant.

Speaker 4 (11:02):
For like a year, so I was always picturing like
immediate baby.

Speaker 2 (11:07):
I'd be like, yo, we got like time once, you know,
like it's not everything has to be made up now.

Speaker 4 (11:14):
Yeah, And like I'm a planner and I am a processor.
So once I wrapped my mind around something, then I
get so excited about like the planning and putting everything
in place beforehand. So it to me was like a
new fun project on my hands, and I just looked
forward to the challenge of like, ooh, how quickly can
we make this happen now? So it was like an

(11:35):
overnight drastic change of.

Speaker 3 (11:37):
Like hurry up a baby.

Speaker 4 (11:40):
But we I was having all the symptoms and we
actually did not think it was possible that I was
pregnant because we were like, there's no way, like everyone
was telling us.

Speaker 3 (11:51):
You know, I had been on birth control.

Speaker 4 (11:52):
For like twelve years, so people were like, it's probably
going to take a few cycles for like the birth
control to get out of your system, so like, don't
be discouraged if it takes four or five even six
months of trying. And I don't know, I just I
could feel like it was that day. It was a
Sunday that I was just like, let's just take the test,

(12:12):
because I just I can. At this point, I feel
like I know I'm pregnant because all of my symptoms
were just spot on with everything.

Speaker 3 (12:20):
That it says you would feel when you're pregnant.

Speaker 4 (12:24):
So we sat up our camera and I pete on
the stick. Which this was funny because I was so
excited and anxious that I kind of forgot, like to
save my peace, so I had Pete already.

Speaker 2 (12:37):
Well let's say this first, is that Bri had this
whole vision of how she was gonna surprise me with it.

Speaker 1 (12:42):
In the back of my mind, I knew it wasn't
gonna work.

Speaker 2 (12:44):
Because she is just so like, like she can't hold
stuff in so I just knew that she and then
all the time she would say, Oh, I didn't have
my period today. Oh I didn't have my period today.
So by like day seven of that, I was like,
in my mind, like, she's probably pregnant. So it's no
surprising me. It's not gonna be like what I just.

Speaker 3 (13:07):
It wouldn't have worked. I had a plan, but I
was like he would look.

Speaker 4 (13:10):
At my face and know, because I would just not
be able to keep it cool. So we sat up
the camera. I drizzled on the stick like barely no
p at all. We thought we were to go buy
another test because we were like, ah, it probably wasn't
enough to get an accurate read, and almost immediately that.

Speaker 3 (13:30):
Double line it was real strong. So it was like, oh,
we're pregnant.

Speaker 4 (13:34):
Pregnant, And as soon as we found out, we told like,
who do we tell my aunt?

Speaker 1 (13:40):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (13:41):
I think like toy. So because we.

Speaker 4 (13:44):
Knew we wanted to tell like our family and our
close friends in like a really cute special Yeah I did.

Speaker 1 (13:52):
Here. We gotta be honest here we had too.

Speaker 2 (13:54):
And that was part of what made this a learning
experience for us was that we had two different perspectives
on how we, you know, should go about telling people
and communicating like what the news was. But we did
call her ma, her aunt, and I think one other person.

Speaker 4 (14:13):
Yeah, because my aunt, my aunt and mom live in Florida,
so my aunt facilitated telling, like putting a surprise together
so that we could tell my mom. So eventually y'all
will see these the announcements and how we did it,
because we will show it is very cute and we
found a cute way to tell my girlfriends who their

(14:36):
husbands are also Dre's you know friends, but for him,
he's like, guys don't really care. So we made it
more about the girls. And it was really cute because
it was Thanksgiving. So we found out on November twentieth,
and on Thanksgiving, we were already taking photos for our friends,
like getting them some cute family photos. So I got
these wine bottles and put a label on it that

(14:58):
said this pairs well with becoming an and for each
of our friends. When we went to go take the picture,
we like added the wine bottle in and I was like, oh,
I just want a picture with my friend, and then
that's how they saw it. So it was really cute
because we got a video reaction, but then we also
got like a snap by snap like photo reaction.

Speaker 3 (15:16):
Which was really cute.

Speaker 4 (15:19):
And so, yeah, so we told everyone and we had
our first appointment, And up until then, I also had
been vlogging my whole first trimester, and I think that
that has been like the hardest thing for me, is
like I've been planning everything and excited about everything. Okay,

(15:43):
can go and talk about the first appointment.

Speaker 2 (15:47):
Yeah, so we had our first appointment. But I think
a big part of this, which is part of this
experience and us communicating in this video. What we learned
through this was that we had two different perspectives on
just the whole pregnancy. Just in general, was very very

(16:07):
excited wanted to tell everybody, including all of you on
social media. I was way more reserved and wanting to
tell the world and tell people because it was very
early on. My mom had dealt with miscarriages before. I've
seen other people deal with miscarriages before, so I know,

(16:29):
I knew that the first trimester, get out of that
and then you have a way better chance of everything
going well. So we butt heads a lot in the
first couple of weeks. We were both excited but we
but it heads a lot in the first couple of
weeks because we had a lot of back and forth

(16:50):
and a lot of when it's a heated arguments, but
debates on like who we should tell, when we should tell,
how we should tell people, all that stuff like that.
And then leading up to our first appointment, a few
different things happened. So one we had a conversation to
where Brie was like, when can I tell? When can
I talk about it? Because on my social media I
like to express myself, And we finally landed on let's

(17:13):
just have our first appointment first. I didn't want to
tell after the first trimester, which would have been like
February or March, but she said it.

Speaker 3 (17:21):
Would have been January, twelve weeks. Yeah, it would have
been twelve weeks.

Speaker 1 (17:28):
Well, it would have been mid January.

Speaker 2 (17:30):
But I wanted to wait, essentially, but I was like,
let's just have our first appointment first.

Speaker 1 (17:35):
She didn't like it, but we agreed on that. But
then also two other things happened. One was that I
talked to a guy at my job.

Speaker 2 (17:45):
I was on a call and he ran he was
running late for the call because he was at an
ultrasound for his wife. That's what he told me. And
then he was talking about, man, yeah, you know, such
a blessing, and everything's good with our first kid. You know,
we had went for the ultrasound and they didn't find
a heartbeat, and then we waited a week and the
doctor was telling them to abort the baby and all

(18:07):
that stuff, and then he was like, then we waited
a week and then.

Speaker 1 (18:10):
They found a heartbeat.

Speaker 2 (18:12):
And I forgot what they named their first daughter, but
it was something that tied into basically her being a
miracle and them choosing not to listen to what the
doctor said and ultimately going with what God said. So
that was randomly said to me the day before our appointment.
So I was just like, that's crazy. And then the
night before I was up all night for the most part.

(18:36):
You remember that, Like I was just sitting at the
end of the bed because it got to a point
to where it was like I was really struggling with
the whole telling people like, because I am a type
of person I don't like people's sympathy. When my grandmother died,
who was extremely close with it, I ain't posted on
social media. I ain't post a funeral thing. Because I

(18:57):
know people mean well, but I'm not the type of
person likes it the individual message, like if it's something
under this video, we love the encouragement, but like individual messages,
the calls, the texts, like I know people mean well,
but that's just not something that.

Speaker 1 (19:10):
I personally prefer orlike.

Speaker 2 (19:14):
I just you know, want to deal with things my
own way, and I know those people love me and
wanted to keep it that way. So I was really
struggling the night before because the staycation if you want
to watch it, which was amazing, you'll see on our channel.

Speaker 1 (19:30):
We had already planned that.

Speaker 2 (19:32):
And bre wanted to do a gender reveal at the
staycation place that we were staying, and that was six
weeks into the pregnancy. And the reason why I was
struggling the night before the appointment was that, like I
was like, I feel like I should be excited for this,
but I'm not, and it's because I feel like it's

(19:54):
way too early. But she's so excited she wants to
do it now. So I was struggling with I know,
this probably isn't the right decision to do it this
early because so many things could happen, But I also
know that Breezeit push for this comes from a great
place because she's just excited and she's just happy.

Speaker 1 (20:14):
But I don't feel like it's the right decision.

Speaker 2 (20:16):
But I also got to be there for her as
like a leader and as her partner. So I was
really struggling the night before, again mainly because I just
wasn't excited for this gender reveal.

Speaker 1 (20:26):
I thought it was way too early.

Speaker 4 (20:28):
So then, but also give context, because you're making it
seem like I'm crazy. We had a collab situation with
the sneak Peak brand to do the six week early
testing thing. That's the only reason why I even had
it be a thing, because I was like, oh, he
did not want to do a gender reveal at all,
and I was like, this is something that we already

(20:50):
have planned.

Speaker 3 (20:51):
The location is paid for. It's a perfect way.

Speaker 4 (20:53):
For me to get what I want for you to
not have to feel like we're spending money and making
the whole thing of it. So it was like killed
two birds with one stone. But at the same time
that he didn't want to talk about it or share
because it was early.

Speaker 3 (21:08):
For me, I felt.

Speaker 4 (21:10):
Confused because, as you guys know from our prior video,
we made the decision for me to walk away from
my business do relationship restore full time. We made an
announcement video telling everyone that we were trying for baby
and that we were going to take them along the journey.
So naturally, I thought that we were doing the same
thing that we did with waiting for marriage, which was

(21:30):
we shared our journey and the progress and the whole thing.
We didn't hide things. Everything was very transparent and open,
and that's what I thought we were doing. So when
I got pushed back and was told like, oh no,
I don't want to tell people, I kind of felt like,
for the eight years we've been together, this is how

(21:50):
I've been. I used my social media as a platform
to express myself, to share the good and the bad.
So if I do miscarrier, if something goes wrong, I
want to be able to talk about that, and I
want to be able to talk about it when I'm
dealing with it, not weeks after. It's been really hard
for me not to share and talk about what I've
been going through. So we're very different in that way.

(22:12):
And when you decide to share your journey and then
say well, these things are off limits, you would understand
why that would be confusing to me. So I had
high hopes and expectations that things would go well, but
I knew that this was an option. And I've actually
never said this out loud to anybody, but I had

(22:35):
a feeling when we were at the first appointment and
there wasn't a heartbeat. My immediate thought was that God
has put me through this to be a light for
other people, and that the only reason why this was
like happening to us was because it was something that
we're supposed to share, that it's supposed to be a
part of our journey and it's going to help people.
So I kind of felt not like a guinea pig,

(22:56):
but it was almost this feeling of like I know
that this is something I'm going to have to talk
about and that's fine. And I knew that when I
said I wanted to talk about it, and when he
said that he didn't. So even now with this happening,
we're not still on the same page with talking about
the journey, because I still, if I got pregnant tomorrow,
would want to tell people because I want to go

(23:18):
through the journey in real time. But I understand his
reasonings for not wanting the outreach and things of that,
but it's like that's a part. It's a part that
comes with it if you're going to be open and
transparent and share your journey. It's just a piece of it.
But I get it. But we're not on the same
page with it, so no, it's difficult.

Speaker 2 (23:37):
Yeah, my perspective as we're doing right now is that
we can still share our journey. It just doesn't have
to be in real time and it can still hit
the exact same But we've talked about it and we
have different perspectives on it. But that's the thing about
relationships is that when they say it's work, it's figuring
things out, it's I had to come to her and say,

(23:59):
sometimes are going to be things that you don't understand.
But there's not a lot of times where I ask
for things just for me, and this is one of
those moments to where I am asking you just for
me to do this, and it's just delaying something, is
not stopping something, essentially, but I just need this from you,

(24:20):
just for us to wait some time, for me to
feel comfortable, for me to feel good about it. And
I love her and thank her for respecting that even
if she doesn't agree with it. And that's one thing
I want people to learn from this. In relationships is
not always agreement on things or we have the same perspective,
But sometimes you have to look at worst case scenario,

(24:41):
best case scenario and really decide, am I going to
choose my partner or some other feeling that I have?
And sometimes you got to choose your person, even if
you may not understand it.

Speaker 1 (24:53):
So we get to the appointment. The doctor.

Speaker 2 (24:59):
Who was like a younger doctor and felt like she
was stunning by the way she was like, had long hair,
was nice and all that stuff like that, but.

Speaker 3 (25:10):
Had long hair. I was pretty her hair, she was beautiful.

Speaker 1 (25:16):
There you go. I was waiting for you to say that.

Speaker 2 (25:17):
I feel like it would be weird to come from
my press RACTU Why, oh no.

Speaker 3 (25:21):
She said she had flung hair.

Speaker 4 (25:25):
What. Yeah, she came She was the hottest doctor I've
ever seen in my life.

Speaker 2 (25:31):
But she came in and she did the test, and
it for us, it was like it took a while
for her to say anything, so that in my mind,
I think probably for you two is like, oh, something
must be up. And then she was like, I think
you might have miscarried. And then you know when I said.

Speaker 4 (25:51):
Well, no, she said that, and then she said, oh, no, wait,
I'm in the wrong spot.

Speaker 2 (25:56):
But that's why I said that, is that because when
I said, oh, remember that story I told you yesterday
about the guy at my job, then she kind of
looked and she was like, well, I think maybe I
might be looking in the wrong spot, and you know,
it could be this, it could be that, but I'm
not seeing any blood flow. So basically the decision was made,
and she walked us through like the different options, but

(26:17):
the decision was made to at least wait some time
to have another appointment to see it.

Speaker 3 (26:23):
Okay, let me give you're not sharing the information.

Speaker 4 (26:27):
The baby was measuring at six millimeters, which that would
be the result of a six week baby. Our appointment
was closer to the ten week appointment mark, and so
seeing as I was supposed to be about nine to
ten weeks, she was concerned because the baby should be
measuring a lot larger, at least seven millimeters. And what

(26:49):
she said was, because the baby's measuring at six millimeters,
she thinks that it's possible that our dates are mixed
up and that I'm actually much earlier than we anticipated,
which would be a perfectly fine explanation as to why
there isn't a heartbeat. So if we come a week later,
which the baby should be gap measuring at least seven millimeters,

(27:09):
then they'll be able to detect the heartbeat and then
we can know what's what. So she said, I'm gonna
have you guys book an appointment a week from today,
so you guys can come in and we'll know for
sure what's what. When we got to the front desk
to make our appointment, the appointment was actually scheduled fourteen
days out because it was the holidays, so our appointment
was on December twentieth. They made our next appointment for

(27:32):
January second.

Speaker 3 (27:34):
The thing that was.

Speaker 4 (27:35):
Really tough is that which thankfully Dre allowed me to
tell our close friends, because there's no way I would
have been able to go to this staycation with all
of my friends and all their beautiful little baby girls
and not been able to tell them what was going
on with me.

Speaker 3 (27:50):
I would have just like it wouldn't have been.

Speaker 4 (27:53):
I probably wouldn't have gone, honestly, So thankfully they knew
what was going on, and I was able to send
them all texts and say, hey, we just left the appointment.

Speaker 3 (28:01):
We're heading to the airbnb. This is the situation.

Speaker 4 (28:04):
We're not going to do the gender reveal for obvious reasons,
and this is what it is. So we didn't get
any time to process anything because we went right into
hosting mode for the entire weekend.

Speaker 2 (28:18):
And well, I wouldn't say for you, you didn't get
time to process. I feel like I had time to
process for me, like my experience. I could share my
experience because it's probably different than your experience. So my
experience was immediately after we got the news, a lot
of thoughts was going through my head. I was like,
maybe the guy at my job shared what he shared,

(28:41):
because God is saying like this is you know, but
what's going to happen.

Speaker 1 (28:46):
It would be awesome testimony to say this happened.

Speaker 2 (28:49):
I got this call right before the appointment, and this
is all to me what happened. But initially I was
honestly angry and like I told you this, but I
don't know if I told you this, But I was angry,
and I wasn't angry at God. I wasn't angry at
the situation because in my mind, I prepared myself for

(29:12):
all the possibilities, and I knew within the first trimester
anything could happen. Initially, I was very angry at her,
and I probably didn't tell her that, but I was
mad because in my mind I was like, see, this
is what I'm talking about, Like this happens in the beginning,

(29:33):
and you know, doing all this planning and doing all
this stuff, It's like it doesn't make sense right now.
And I was angry mainly because too she was very
excited to tell people. When we go to a tropical
smoothie very often, and I went to get my smoothie
one day and the guy was like, oh, congratulations, and
I was like, what are you talking about? And immediately

(29:55):
I called Brian was like, did you tell the guy
tropical Smoothie we having a baby? She was like yeah,
I had to tell somebody. And then in my mind
it just like went to that that I have to
explain now to a stranger who sees me again is like, hey,
how are things going, how's the baby? Like I have
to explain it to a stranger. Then why what happened?
And that is not happened anymore? And then I got

(30:16):
here and say, oh, I'm so sorry, dang man, like
like I don't want to have that interaction. So I
was angry not at what happened because I already prepared
myself for it, but that like this is what I
was talking about. Why we always got to figure things
out this way, like you just got to listen to me,
like this is not the thing.

Speaker 1 (30:33):
And it took me some time.

Speaker 2 (30:34):
I had to call my stepdad and really just talk
it through, like I need it because remember after the thing,
I went outside for like an hour and a half
and I was like, I just need to take a walk,
and I was struggling with her excitement and planning things.
I think gave me a little anxiety because I knew
what the possibilities could be, and then with it happening,

(30:59):
I was mad because I'm like, this is what I
was talking about. But then I also was mad because
or struggling because I know that it wasn't a bad
bone in her body with what she was excited about,
Like she was just excited that we were pregnant, so
it was like that was the only thing. But then
also you know, I was excited too. But then I

(31:23):
also I feel like, as a leader have to be
here for her too, as I'm still kind of upset,
and so it's like I was trying to figure out
how to balance that, and I was able, i think,
in that hour and a half to really process it,
walk through it, go through it, and really get my
mind in a good place luckily, because I didn't have
to overcome the excuse me, the feeling of the possible

(31:48):
loss more just the anger at you know, the situation
that I felt like we were put in. So I
feel like in that hour and a half, I was
able to really process it and kind of.

Speaker 3 (31:58):
Pro half that is mind boggling to.

Speaker 2 (32:02):
Me, Like for me, because it's like I've gotten to
a place in my life to where I've experienced so
much that sometimes when you expect the worst, like that's
just where your mind is already at. So it's you
didn't build yourself up to have the feeling of.

Speaker 3 (32:19):
Like, and this is what's so weird.

Speaker 4 (32:22):
I'm such amistic person at first that I was thrown
off by Dre's skepticism and like, oh, like it was
just every time we talked about it, it was like
he was just thinking of the possible worst thing that
could happen. I expected that to be me, and I
expected him to be how I was, which was very

(32:44):
much like I just had all the faith in the
world that everything was going to go, you know, perfectly,
and like everything was going to be amazing.

Speaker 3 (32:52):
So it was weird because I'm not that type of person.

Speaker 4 (32:55):
So to feel that way and then for our roles
to be kind of like reversed in that sense, it
was confusing for me. And I'm what type of person.

Speaker 2 (33:06):
Like if it's your dreamy excited, I'm more realist, like practical,
like practical, like steady. So it's like you, when you
have the great thing of the possibility, you think of
the best like for me, I'm always very like you
think about true.

Speaker 3 (33:23):
I always think about worst case scenario.

Speaker 1 (33:26):
You're excited about something.

Speaker 3 (33:28):
Okay, maybe I'm comparing work in business. I don't know.
I don't I don't I don't see what you're seeing.

Speaker 4 (33:34):
I feel like, naturally you are a faith driven person.
Everything is going to work out, put it in God's hands,
and I'm always like, bump that this is the reality
of it, this is this, this is that. I feel
like our whole relationship has been that. So for this
it felt reversed, and I was caught off guard. But

(33:55):
I don't think I could ever process anything like that
in a in like an hour and a half. But
I think for my my struggle, and I think as
a woman, the initial like the issue is that you
don't think that they feel what you feel. So it's like,

(34:19):
you know, he seemed fine, but I was so in
shock that, like I wasn't given any emotion that I
think he was confused because I was just like, oh, well,
I knew this could happen, which is true. I was
saying things that I genuinely felt. I was like, I
knew this could happen, but I just didn't have any
time to like feel. So when we were at the Airbnb.

Speaker 2 (34:42):
One sentence before you say that is that what also
threw me off too, because when we were arguing about
stuff before we got the news, she was like, oh,
it's a miscarriague, Like I ben't care, It's just part
of the journey, like she yeah, And that was her
real mindset and feeling like I don't think she was
bsing me at all. I think she truly thought like, oh,

(35:02):
like if that's the case, then that's the case. So
in my mind I was like, oh, she was fine.
So it was like before it, I was the more
like anxious one about it, and she was the more like,
oh like.

Speaker 3 (35:16):
But that's why I stuff.

Speaker 4 (35:17):
We didn't have time to process because we went right
from the hospital to the airbnb. We didn't have any
time alone. We went right into having to work together
to do promos and introducing people and welcoming people and
setting up stuff. So it was like I went right
into hostess mode and how to pretend like everything was okay.
And then that night, once everyone was sleeping, I really

(35:41):
like broke down and I realized that it's like when
you are the when you're like carrying a baby, and
you know, I had weeks of like waking up and
like doing like my my pregnant routine, and you know,
I was recording pretty much every day doing like a

(36:02):
first trimester a blog, and you know, you I was sick,
like really freaking sick, and it was miserable, but it
was like worth it cause I'm like, oh, like, I'm
making a baby.

Speaker 3 (36:12):
To be told that you could or could not have.

Speaker 4 (36:17):
A dead fetus inside of you and to walk around
not knowing that was like soone settling. And it's like
I you know, Dre, it's our baby, but it's like
it's my body, and it didn't feel like I could
even communicate what that would like, what that feels like,
because logically, I'm like, it just is what it is,

(36:39):
but physically I just felt so like like I didn't
have any control. I just felt I don't know, like
I don't know, I just felt like a shell version
of me.

Speaker 3 (36:52):
So the two weeks really sucked.

Speaker 2 (36:57):
Yeah, that that at the staycation, she was there but
wasn't like.

Speaker 1 (37:02):
There.

Speaker 3 (37:04):
Yeah, Like I was trying to be.

Speaker 1 (37:05):
Go to her and be like are you Like are
you okay? She's like yeah, I'm good, And I'm like,
are you sure you're okay? She's like yeah, but I.

Speaker 2 (37:12):
Can tell like she wasn't fully there, and it was
like we we're both entertaining essentially at that same time.
So it's like, even I get what you're saying now.
The time of process it together wasn't necessarily there, like
of course we had our own individual time to probably
think about it.

Speaker 4 (37:32):
But even when you saw when you like woke up
when I was crying and you were like confused because
I was like perfectly fine all day, but I was
like you know, I thought I was fine and then
it just like hits you.

Speaker 3 (37:45):
I don't know, it's really weird.

Speaker 4 (37:46):
It's very confusing, and that's you know, it's different for
the man versus the woman.

Speaker 3 (37:51):
Because the our bodies are hormones.

Speaker 4 (37:53):
Everything that we're going through, it's like really just unexplainable.

Speaker 3 (37:59):
So I just didn't think it would be as hard
as it was. But the hardest part was.

Speaker 4 (38:05):
Just the first week because I had told myself Andre
I was like, I'm just telling myself that I'm miscarried
because I can't go two weeks with having hope to
be told again that it's this. So it's like I'll
either be happily surprised and will feel very blessed, or

(38:25):
I'll just it is what it is and I've processed
and I won't have to go through this again. So
I told myself that. But after the first week, I knew.
I knew that I had miscarried because my everything just
went back to normal.

Speaker 1 (38:39):
Yeah, she was really sick, Like, yeah, it.

Speaker 4 (38:43):
Went from all the symptoms to literally woke up and
I felt amazing. And the felt amazing actually happened a
week before the first appointment I had. First I had
a few days of feeling good and back to normal,
and then the symptoms were coming back. But after the appointment,
that week went by and it was different. It was

(39:04):
like I just knew that there was nothing in there.
I mean, it obviously was in there because I had
it naturally miscarried. But that was the other hard part
is that I was told that because you haven't bled
or cramped or have any of like the miscarriage signs,
if this is a miscarriage.

Speaker 3 (39:20):
You're going to have to get a DNC surgery to
have the feet is sucked out. And I'm like, for.

Speaker 2 (39:28):
Those who don't know, haven't experienced it, there's pretty much
three different ways you can pass it naturally, but that
can take a lot of time. And that also that
comes with surprise too, right, Like you could be sleeping
and you like end up like blood or something like that.

Speaker 1 (39:45):
If you pass it naturally, is that right?

Speaker 4 (39:46):
Yeah, Well if you don't, if it doesn't happen naturally,
you have to you take.

Speaker 1 (39:50):
A pill, take the pill of surgery DNC.

Speaker 2 (39:53):
So we were evaluating all the options obviously waiting for
it to pass. You just don't know when that might happen.
You didn't want to do the pill because it would
just be a lot of well, it's.

Speaker 4 (40:07):
Just yeah, it's like it's kind of like it's not
something that you want to be like awake for, Like
you don't want to like actively watch your dead feet
has come out of your body. That's like when it
happens naturally like that, it's fine because it happens and
then you're like okay, and I can process it.

Speaker 3 (40:25):
But to choose that option, like that's weird.

Speaker 4 (40:28):
So anyone that I had talked to I, you know,
that had it, had it happen naturally, they all opted
to just get the procedure because you go in and
you know that you're leaving and you know you can
start your process all over again.

Speaker 3 (40:42):
And the thing with the DNC, the reason why we
chose that as well, is because after you.

Speaker 4 (40:47):
Get it, it can take anywhere between two to three
weeks to two months.

Speaker 3 (40:52):
For your period to come.

Speaker 4 (40:54):
Once you have your period, and you know you have
at least one cycle, then it's safe to start trying again.
And whereas if we would have waited and hoped that
it would have happened naturally, it could have prolonged our
process of then being able to try again, and then
it's just at the end of the day, I was
sick of being in a space of limbo, not knowing
what was going on with my body. So the last

(41:15):
thing I wanted to do is beyond standby again waiting
for the day that like I started bleeding.

Speaker 3 (41:19):
And you know, so I was like, let's just get
it over with.

Speaker 4 (41:22):
And I had that procedure on Tuesday, So that was
four days ago.

Speaker 2 (41:28):
And I just want to make it clear to what
breath met also is not you're weird if you take
the pill to pass. It is that for her it
would have felt weird to do that.

Speaker 1 (41:36):
That's what.

Speaker 2 (41:37):
Yeah, but yeah, we had the procedure first. The doctors
were great, like the second our second appointment and the
doctor that she went to to do the procedure, like,
they were very helpful, very informative, very assuring when it
came to a lot of things and gave us a
lot of great information for those who don't know, maybe

(42:00):
sharing a little bit about the DNC. You talked about
what it is it's really going in there using a
procedure to extract you know, the I guess fetus is
what it is.

Speaker 1 (42:12):
And some of the.

Speaker 2 (42:13):
Lining in there as well, and what they had told
us is that once that happens, it takes They suggest
waiting two periods to start trying again so that the
wall could start to build up through those two periods. So,
like I said the doctor, I'm obviously not well versed
in this. This is a lot of information I'm learning
for the first time. But the doctors were really informative

(42:37):
and really great and giving us a lot of information.

Speaker 1 (42:40):
So I just wanted to say that.

Speaker 4 (42:42):
Yeah, and then luckily my mom is a labor and
delivery nurse, so she's helpful. But yeah, I want to
talk about the kind of like the I guess like
grieving process because Dre and I like, as you know,

(43:05):
it's like I'm the woman, it's my body, but like
he's my husband, it's his baby too, and he has
feelings and emotions.

Speaker 3 (43:12):
We had to.

Speaker 4 (43:14):
Like make sure we were checking in with each other often.
But I think the thing that's hard is like when
you ask someone like are you okay, It's like in
that moment you might be like yeah, or like yeah,
I'm just processing. There's really not much to talk about
because you don't even know really how you feel and
what's happening, so the conversations were more so happening after

(43:37):
the fact. But one thing that really helped was we
had friends who they go to a gym like up
the street from us, and we have always been you know,
like we always felt it's important to prioritize like health
and wellness and fitness and things like that, and we

(44:00):
up for a membership before we knew definitely.

Speaker 3 (44:03):
Miscarriage or not miscarriage.

Speaker 4 (44:05):
This is what was another sign for me to know
that like I wasn't pregnant anymore, because I was working
out hard, like I was getting it in, feeling really good,
Like my body wasn't swollen anymore, Like I wasn't bloated.
I just I felt like my normal self. And that
was really helpful because it was like the start of
the new year, so you imagine all the changes and

(44:28):
transitions that I was dealing with.

Speaker 3 (44:29):
Was like obviously all the.

Speaker 4 (44:31):
Hormonal things my body changing, going from you know, planning
like nursery ideas and baby showers stuff to being like, oh,
this probably isn't going to happen, so then trying to
refocus my energy on like my health and like working
out and things like that. But us being able to
put together like a schedule and kind of like you know,

(44:53):
focus on like the business stuff and things like that
was very helpful.

Speaker 3 (44:57):
And and now.

Speaker 4 (44:58):
That the process, the procedure is over, I'm excited to
like get back to all the things. But then it
goes back to the reason why it's just so much
harder for women is that now I'm like, dang, like
my body about to be looking good and I'm about
to be in a good routine, but like I can't
forget like I'm thirty two years old and the old

(45:19):
d date was July twenty eighth, which means I would
have been having baby number one at thirty two, whereas
now with the new timeline, I'll be at least thirty three.
So it's like this pressure of like, yeah, work out
and prioritize your wellness, but at the same time, I'm
supposed to like put my body through this again and
like get pregnant, all with the chance of like you know,

(45:41):
miscarriage is still a thing.

Speaker 3 (45:43):
So it's just not an exciting fault for me right now.

Speaker 4 (45:50):
But I don't know, I just wish I could be
the dude and like not him up because it's just
a lot on your body and on your mind.

Speaker 1 (46:02):
Yeah, I will.

Speaker 2 (46:03):
I will say that there's a few takeaways after the
whole process in digesting digesting things that come to mind
for me, And like I said, we're two different individuals
and how we process, how we deal, how we respond
to things, and like brisay, it was tough for me,

(46:27):
But I also, like I said, knew I could process
things very quickly, and I knew I had to be
there for her as well. But how to be there
for her was also kind of like trying to figure
that out because I think she was also trying to
figure out how she felt and how I could be
there for her because a lot of times bring I

(46:48):
talk about like oh, if you ask the person what
they need from you, then you know that'll be able
to help you better respond to them. But sometimes the
person is still trying to figure out what they might
need from you, so that makes it tough. But first
thing is what I learned through this process is that
I'm just extremely proud of my wife and her responses

(47:12):
to things and how she has been able to power
through things. Number One, because you have to know your person,
and it's like my wife, like you can't judge everybody
on the same metric or same scale, because some people
feel comfortable with things, some people don't.

Speaker 1 (47:28):
Write.

Speaker 2 (47:28):
So my wife does not like hospitals, she doesn't like doctors,
she doesn't like when she goes to obgyn like stuff
being around that area, like all those things make her
feel really uncomfortable. And I think through the whole process
she was real like cool with things and real like
good and you know, stayed in a calm, just environment

(47:52):
and mindset. And I know that that's not easy. So
I'm very proud of her for being in that space.
But also as a man, she's very right, Like I
have no idea what she's going through. How it affects
your body, the feeling like it being inside of you
and knowing that it is not actually alive, Like what

(48:12):
that feels like, you know, I can't even imagine. So
I feel like, you know, even though you see some
tears here today, like how she has operated and been
able to really have the mindset and the faith and
dealing with the things and processing it for these couple
of months, I feel like she has done an amazing

(48:34):
job at it. And I would just say to anybody
in my position who experiences this with a partner is
just try to be there. Sometimes being there is silence.
Sometimes being there is giving them space. Sometimes being there
is just hugging him and kissing him and telling them
you love them. But sometimes there's nothing that you can

(48:54):
say necessarily that's going to make the process any easier.
It's just being supportive in any way that you possibly can.
And I'm just proud of her for everything that she
was able to battle through when it came to that.
The second thing, too, was that I also see this
as a blessing. Like we tried for a month and

(49:18):
got pregnant immediately. Our doctor told us that means that
we definitely are fertile. And I just know from talking
to so many people if you watch our video excuse me,
if you watch our video of what our fears were
or our thoughts were about having a baby that we
posted like two months ago, I know so many people

(49:39):
that are.

Speaker 1 (49:39):
Trying and trying and trying and trying.

Speaker 2 (49:42):
And haven't even had the ability to have the excitement
of seeing two lines on that stick right to just
be like, yo, we did it. Like so even us
being able to have that excitement to tell people and
see it and really have the appointments and the checkups.
Knowing that it's possible for us is such a blessing.

(50:03):
And then as you start to share your story, you
start to hear other people's stories about, oh, yeah, my
first kid was a chemical pregnancy, or yeah, I had
a miscarriage with my kid before I had my with
a child before I had my other kid. It's like
you start hearing all these stories that give your encouragement
that everything's going to be okay. And we know that

(50:26):
we're living a purpose driven life and I truly am
a believer that everything happens for a reason. And when
it comes to us in our relationship, we've gone through
so much and it I feel like everything that we
go through just strengthens our relationship and our ability to
withstand anything. And although this is something that we wanted

(50:47):
to be a reality, I'm glad that we made it
to the other side of it and still being able
to love each other and support each other. And I
learned a lot in this process of how to better
handle her. There are definitely things I probably could have
did better to help support her, especially because if somebody's

(51:08):
like you know, trying to process their feelings is different
ways I could have showed up, and I'm learning from
that because this is my first experience too. But I
think overall that, you know, we have come out in
our relationship, you know, as best as you could out
of a situation like this, and we're excited to start
our family together. So whenever that is, whether that's to

(51:30):
start trying again soon future adoption, which will be a
thing at some point, like I'm just glad that it's
going to be this person that I'm going to be
doing this with and we'll be the mother of my child.

Speaker 4 (51:45):
I will say. This whole thing made me be like
see adoption. You know, we don't got to go through
all of this, but no, you did. You did great
and still are doing great. I do want to talk
about what we did as because we talked about like okay.

Speaker 1 (52:06):
No, no, I thought he was going to talk about
my theories.

Speaker 3 (52:09):
No, no, not that.

Speaker 1 (52:11):
No.

Speaker 4 (52:12):
So when we had our appointment, like the one where
we knew we were definitely finding out if we were
still with baby or if baby had what's the right
word miscarried, I guess we came up with a plan
for what we were going to do for good news
and what we're gonna do for bad news. So for
bad news, like if the baby was, you know, a

(52:34):
miscarriage and I needed to get the procedure, we made
a plan to go to Chimas because for anyone who
knows me knows I love rare steak and it's not
something you're supposed to eat when you're pregnant, or sushi
or cocktails obviously, so you know, I was like, if
it's bad news, we are going to just indulge in

(52:55):
all the foods and drinks that I haven't been able
to consume as kind of like a you know reset, Yeah,
just a reset, just give us time to like talk
things through, spend one on one time and actually process
this time because we didn't get that the prior appointment.

Speaker 3 (53:15):
And so that is exactly what we did.

Speaker 4 (53:17):
And the food was great and we left feeling really good,
like we had all of our talks and stuff and
it was really helpful.

Speaker 3 (53:26):
Then the last thing I want to say.

Speaker 4 (53:28):
Is I, as I was going through all of this,
I am an overthinker and I'm I'm someone who ends
up spiraling in my thoughts.

Speaker 3 (53:39):
And I was.

Speaker 4 (53:41):
Very open and communicating with Dre, like what was happening
in my mind, especially like after I was able to
kind of process. But one of the things that I
experienced was I was feeling bad for feeling sad, like
I would like watch things that were you know, like
natural disasters or murders, like really like dark, negative things

(54:06):
to make myself feel better about my situation, and it
would make me feel guilty because I'm like, wow, like,
look at what happened to this person, or look at
what this person lost, or look at what this person
has been through. Why am I over here, you know,
but hurt about a miscarriage.

Speaker 3 (54:23):
It's something that happens.

Speaker 4 (54:24):
It's not like I had a living child who I
knew and loved and was taken from me.

Speaker 3 (54:29):
So it was almost like I was.

Speaker 4 (54:30):
Thinking of worst case scenarios to make my scenario feel better,
and I don't think that that was healthy. And the moment,
it did help because I was like, Okay, this isn't
as bad as it feels, you know, But after learning
and looking up like how to deal with grieving miscarriages
and things like that, it is really important to just
allow yourself to feel. But because I was in a

(54:51):
process of a lot of transitions at once, like with
our business and just like with the whole idea of
like the baby and my health, like all the thing
that were going on there. I just kind of felt
like I didn't have time to grieve, but in reality
I did, and Dre reminded me of that. He was like,
stop doing things like just lay down, like stay in
the bed, feel how you're feeling. Like you don't have

(55:14):
to get up and do or figure out your feelings.
Just allow yourself to feel, even if that means just
laying and been and watching TV for the day.

Speaker 3 (55:21):
And him reiterating.

Speaker 4 (55:23):
To me that that was okay was really helpful because
enough days like that, then naturally you start to feel
better and you start to realize like, okay, I've processed
and now I can move on.

Speaker 3 (55:34):
So I just want to share that for.

Speaker 4 (55:36):
Those of you, if you've dealt with it, are still
dealing with it, or if it's something yeah, any type
a breakup, a loss of a family member, like anything
like that, you have to just allow yourself time to feel.

Speaker 3 (55:50):
And that's not an hour. I don't know how he
said he processed an hour and a.

Speaker 4 (55:54):
Half, but like give yourself days to just feel and
know that it's okay to feel and yes, there's other
things going on in the world and there's people out
there who have it worse than you, but it doesn't
mean that your feelings aren't valid, So allow yourself to feel.
Because that was I think my biggest lesson from all
of this was the more that I tried to mask it,

(56:15):
the more that it hurts. It didn't feel better until
I started to just feel and allow myself to feel.

Speaker 1 (56:21):
So that's good advice. I'm gonna see if I have
a takeaway.

Speaker 2 (56:26):
I mean, my first my process in an hour and
a half was because my baseline was in my mind.
It wasn't real yet, so I was able to really
work through it a lot quicker. But that's from years
of being very disappointed with a lot of things. So
my expectation level for anything is always super super low.

(56:50):
But I don't know my lasting level. I think you
had a or my lasting thing, and the thing I
learned from it, it's just that you know, control the
things that you can control, and love those people who
are here around you and here for you and care
about you. Because I always say it's like you. I've

(57:11):
said this before that love is not because of love
is in spite of so you'll really see the love
and people and people who care and all those things
when you're really going through something. And I think we
have an amazing group of people friends and family who
just really love us and care about us, even though
I'm not the person who loves the sympathies and all

(57:33):
that stuff, like having people check up on us and
send messages to me, like even people like, Hey, you know,
I just wanted to send a message to you, because
I know sometimes in situations like this people always think
about the woman but don't think about the man, Like
I just wanted to check up while you make sure
you were good. The calls even prior to like friends

(57:54):
texting me they knew our appointment dates, like hey, like
the luck on your appointment today. It's like sending flowers,
Like it's just all these different things that let you know,
Like first, there's a reason that people say a child
is a gift in life is so important because of

(58:15):
situations like this. It makes it seem like, especially in
society of the baby mamas and people doing this and
that that is just so easy for it to happen,
But in reality it's not a lot of things can
go wrong, and a lot of things have to go
right in order for it to happen. So it truly
is a gift, but it's also a gift just the
relationships that you have in your life and the people

(58:37):
that you have in your life who truly care about
you and love you.

Speaker 1 (58:40):
And this process allowed us to I think.

Speaker 2 (58:43):
We knew, but it's just reiterated to us, like, we
have some really great people in our life and have
a really great circle of folks. And that's part of
the reason why we started the Relationship Restored community was
because we want that for everybody to have that group
and that that friendship and that community to just fellowship.

(59:06):
So definitely, just you know, sign up for our community. Bree,
stomachs go crazy.

Speaker 1 (59:12):
It is like all day has been like.

Speaker 2 (59:17):
But if you want to join our community to do
things like look on our channel and look at our
staycation video, do stuff like that plus much much more,
please join the community or Relationship restore dot com back
size community and join.

Speaker 1 (59:32):
Our community to be a part of that. But yeah,
it was Can.

Speaker 4 (59:35):
I say one thing, yes, I wanted because in our
last video when we talked about the transition of me
leaving my business, to do relationship restore full time. Wow,
my stomach, Islay Ham. One of the other signs that
happened that we didn't talk about in that video because
we didn't mention that we were pregnant yet, is that

(59:56):
I think it was two days after we made the
decision to go all in, was when we found out
we were pregnant. And if if I was doing my
business full time while all of this was happening, I
don't know how I would have gotten through it.

Speaker 2 (01:00:11):
Oh no, you wouldn't, Like that would have been crazy
if you were doing calls and had clients and all that, Like, Nah,
that would have been insane.

Speaker 4 (01:00:18):
It was just another sign that like everything happened for
a reason, how it was supposed to happen and when
it was supposed to happen, because I.

Speaker 3 (01:00:27):
Don't know how I would have gotten through it. It would
have been rough.

Speaker 4 (01:00:31):
Yeah, like my sickness, the you know, just the emotional
toll that it takes, and all the different appointments and
all the it was just a lot. And I was like, Wow,
had we not made that decision when we did, the
last month of twenty twenty four would have looked a
lot differently.

Speaker 3 (01:00:47):
In the worst possible way. So yeah, yeah, man, you
know we're gonna be eyed.

Speaker 1 (01:00:55):
We're gonna be ay. We have a last PG.

Speaker 2 (01:00:58):
I mean once I guess Likes said you have to
take the time to grieve, and that's okay, Like take
that space to do that, but when you come out
of it, you'll still realize, like we're blessed, Like we
have an amazing life, we have amazing friends. The door
is not closed for what we want and the family

(01:01:19):
that we want. But when we look back at our life,
we're just like, yo, this is We're still like, have
an amazing life and a lot of you know, our
life is still ahead of us.

Speaker 1 (01:01:30):
So we're encouraged. We know we're blessed.

Speaker 2 (01:01:33):
We're thankful first, like I said, for all the people
in our lives, for all of you guys too, for
all your amazing support throughout our journey. And this is
just another chapter and we're still here. Ain't nothing breaking
us down or breaking us apart unless you.

Speaker 3 (01:01:50):
Don't feed me very soon, because it's getting real over here.

Speaker 2 (01:01:53):
I think our stomach might come out and be like
it's because she is rarn. But yeah, so thank you
for watching a video. Please in the comments. I know
people might leave encouraging things. We thank you so much.
But also if you have your own stories or things

(01:02:13):
that you feel like you will want to share that
you feel like could be helpful to others that have
dealt with similar things like this, because I think one
of the most things, one of the things, one of
the things that helps out helps you out when it
comes to processing stuff, is when you understand that other
people deal with these type of things like it kind

(01:02:33):
of helps your process of getting through it, I think,
in my opinion, because it's a lot of because of
what you see out in the world, you think it's
just easy to have babies and do different things. But
even our doctor tor is like, yeah, it was a
fifteen percent chance that this could have happened, and it
was like, okay, that's not high, but it's also not

(01:02:56):
point zero percent chance or point one percent chance, two
percent chance. It's like, oh, this happens. So please share
your stories and let's, you know, be a community that
helps up uplift people and help people through situations like this.

Speaker 1 (01:03:11):
So thank you.