November 16, 2023 • 31 mins
In this episode, special guest Dawn Brinkley shares her powerful story of overcoming pain and setbacks and becoming an inspiring example of resilience.
Dawn Brinkley has been a Registered Nurse for over 30 years! She has gone through many battles in her life, but she has overcome and been sustained in those battles so that now she is able to offer Business solutions to others so that they can show up as the best version of themselves.
Dawn Brinkley has been a Registered Nurse for over 30 years! She has gone through many battles in her life, but she has overcome and been sustained in those battles so that now she is able to offer Business solutions to others so that they can show up as the best version of themselves.
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Episode Transcript
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(00:54):
Hello and welcome to all beautiful soulsout there. You're listening to the Restore
My Soul Podcast with Princess Millons,your favorite grief coach and emotional wellness specialist.
In this space, we will helpthose who struggle with grief and loss
and have real conversations about how toovercome it in every area of life through
(01:14):
our personal stories, practical information,and wisdom from Princess and her special guests.
We are here to educate, inspire, and empower you with the strategies
you need in your emotional healing journey. We do not offer medical advice,
but we believe that we can alllearn to heal by creating a mindset to
grow, pass our pain and pushtoward our purpose. Our goal is to
(01:37):
remind you that grief is a journeyand you do not have to walk it
alone. No matter what the painor loss is, you can be restored
and live fully in your purpose.But let's push through the pain together as
we share our stories of resilience inone episode at a time. Well,
how oh, everybody, Welcome toanother episode of Restore My Soul Podcast,
(02:04):
where we are here to educate,inspire, and empower you through your emotional
Healing Journey. I am your host, Princess Millon's. I'm your favorite grief
and emotional wellness coach, and I'mso excited to be here, so excited
for this episode today because we knowthat we have all been through things in
(02:25):
our life, but I believe thatwe can all learn by healing and creating
a mindset that pushes us past thatpain or the trauma or whatever we've gone
through in our life right toward ourtoward our purpose. So today we have
a very special guest, and hername is Don Brinkley. Don has been
(02:51):
a registered nurse, so what wecall it our end right, She's been
an our end for over thirty years. Can y'all believe that? And has
done some great work in that field. She has gone through many battles in
her life and she has overcome rightso many things that has sustained those battles.
(03:12):
So now she's able to offer businesssolutions to others so that they can
show up and be the best versionof themselves. So I want to welcome
to the show today, Done Brinkley, thank you so much for being here
today. I'm so excited for ourconversation. I'm excited to be here friends,
as I'm excited for the conversation too. Yes, let's go. So,
(03:36):
I know that as many of us, right, we've gone through a
lot. People see us now,right, People see us now and they
see us thriving, They see usin life, and sometimes we don't look
like what we've been through, right, we look like what we've been through
(04:00):
before. We kind of dive intoa little bit of what you have gone
through or how you are and whatyou do right now. I want you
to share with the audience who isdone? You know, what are some
things that some challenges that you hadto go through to be where you are
(04:23):
right now. So Dawn Brinkley isa woman that had to reinvent herself to
actually had to find herself. I'msixty years old. I and thank you.
And basically, you know, Iwas brought up in a household in
(04:47):
which, you know, you weresupposed to do everything just right right you
were you know, we mom wantedme to go to college get the right
degree, and I had to bea helpmate for my husband whenever I did
get married, and you know thegoal was to have the white picket fence
and to you know, marry rightand have the kids and and that sort
(05:09):
of thing, which I did.I did it very well. But along
the way I lost myself in allof that. And but uh, I
am extremely resilient. I do knowhow to change and change and adapt when
it's needed. But you know,along the way, I lost not only
(05:32):
myself but my voice, which wasreally most important. So we'll deep dive
into that a little bit. Butthe Dawn Brinkley now is a it is
a person that I've always been,but I've been able to have the ability
to come out and and just bethat bold badass me hopefully just and uh
(05:59):
and be unapologetic because I'm at thatage that I can be unapologetic and do
what I need to do that sowhen the Lord calls me home, I've
left it all here and on thetable, absolutely. And that is so
important, right that when we liveand we walk in our purpose, that
(06:19):
when God comes back and he callsus home, right, we want to
be empty. We want to makesure that we've emptied out everything that He
has given put inside of us todeliver to the world. Right, because
the Bible tells us that everybody hassomething to do that shows who God is
right, and so when we showwe do those things that show who God
(06:43):
is a lot of times we makeit look so easy, right, especially
as women, sometimes we make thingslook so easy. But I've heard heard
it said before, and sometimes thecrown that we wear is is very heavy.
The crowd that we wear is veryheavy, and people don't see that
(07:04):
side of it, right, Sokind of tell us a little bit about
some things you had to battle inyour life to kind of get you to
where you are. You know someyou know some of the things you know.
First off, it was literally Ithink it ate. I think one
(07:26):
of the biggest things, yes,was which you know transforms us? Because
you know, everything who we areright now is a direct result of our
childhoods, everything that we really experienced. We take that along with us,
and I think finding out basically whenmy father came to visit, my mom
(07:46):
and my dad were uh separated,I mean divorced, and when he came
to visit, he took us tothe Barn and Bailey Circus, me and
my brother and I remember specifically,I think I was popping it around third
grade where it was literally the lasttime he ever came around, and we
were very close to our dad,and so I went, oh my god.
So that was like kind of thefirst loss. Right. Then my
(08:09):
mom did remarry. My stepfather wasas good as he could be. My
stepfather was very good at finances andthings of that nature. But he really
wasn't a schmoozy person. But hewas a sweetheart. But then finding out
at eighteen that the dad, mybiological the dad that I thought was my
father, wasn't. That it wasa different person. Found that out at
(08:33):
eighteen, and that he wanted nodealings with me at all. Right,
it was, you know, justa relationship. And then I happened,
and so that was a second maleloss. Yeah, right, And so
then I went on this journey oftrying to get acceptance from men. Right,
(08:58):
It was a journey, and butgot out of that fairly quickly.
You know. It went through acouple of years of just you know,
trying to identify. But then yehit, you know, it was it
was doing that. Then I gotmarried. I had two boys, Yeah,
got on four heart children as aresult of that marriage. You know,
(09:22):
he brought in He was a goodman, but you know, we
were married for over twenty years andthere were just circumstances that occurred in which
I couldn't take it another day anddecided that this wasn't gonna work. And
it was during that process, andI can't blame it on anybody but myself
because we all made choices in life, but my choices were skewed because of
(09:46):
my history. Wow. So,but going through personal growth, going through
some steps, bonding with other womenrather than keeping because you know, we,
like you said, we all forthat crown we all have and we
wear that crown because we are everythingfor the family. We are so much
for the family that we lose ourselvesand marriages and having children, not that
(10:11):
we don't love them, but youdo find that there is a certain self
loss that happens because we are givers, and I'm a caregiver by nature.
So it was a lot of energyout. But when that ended, when
that marriage ended, trying to rEFIndmyself, redefine myself was extremely hard.
(10:39):
Okay, Wow, so I'm lookinghear you say that these losses that you
had in your life, you reallyhad to come to a point to where
you had to make sure that itwas not buried, that it was not
buried, and it was something thatyou had to kind of work through,
(11:01):
even sometimes unaware. Sometimes I believethat things happen to us, right,
losses, grief, some things,you know, divorce, loss of life,
the depths in our family, thingslike that, whatever it is,
and we pull the wool the coversover our heads, we bury it right,
(11:28):
and then one day something explodes andwe don't recognize that explosion was a
result that we did not deal withthat loss. You know what I'm saying.
I heard you say on a livethat you did recently. Right,
you did a live. I watchedit. You said on a live you
(11:52):
were talking about resistance to what isAnd so I know when I teach each
other people about emotional wellness and thingslike that, I always say, the
first step is to acknowledge your pain. In other words, when you are
going through it's just like an addiction. Right, if you don't acknowledge that
(12:16):
you're an addict, that's what theytell me, right, you you the
arid and tell me they say whenyou you know, if you're an addict,
unless you acknowledge that you are,that you're addicted, you cannot get
help, right, There's no waythat someone can help you if you don't
acknowledge it first. So that livethat you did it really inspired me because
(12:41):
you were talking about being resistant towhat is and sometimes that you know,
we we don't talk to the elephantthat's in the room, and it can
cause that pain in our lives,not just being resistant to the things that
are. It can cause pain inour lives right right, that prevents us
(13:01):
from talking to the elephant in theroom. And so what I hear you
saying is you had to talk tothat elephant in the room, and don't
You couldn't bury what was. Youcouldn't bear the fact that you found out
that you your real dad was wasyour not your dad? At eighteen?
(13:24):
You had no control over that,You had no control over per se the
decision that you ultimately had to maketo in the marriage. You know what
I'm saying, All the things thatwe do. So can you talk about
some things that were an AHA momentfor you? What was the AHA moment
(13:45):
for you that like, I gotto get past this, I got to
find a way to make sure thatI'm not stuck in this pain or in
this thing that's happened in my life. I think a big AHA moment.
It was when my my baby girl, my stepdaughter Amber, when I when
when I did, uh, youknow, leave her dad? And she
(14:09):
she was always like teamed on.All the kids were like a mere tein
don. I was like, oh, I love you too, ye so
but she she's a personal development personand so she was like and I never
believed in personal development. I couldn'tbelieve. I mean, I like historical
romance and you know, British stuffand things like that. And I couldn't
figure out when everybody was at Barnesand Oples, why is everybody going to
(14:30):
the South help section. I don'tget it, like what you and again
this is me burying my head inthe sand. Right. Wow, it
was ambered. It said, uh, mine, you need personal development and
you need to sign up. AndI did. I sign up for this
and this benchmark program, which wasabsolutely phenomenal. The aha moments came through
(14:52):
that program. Thank you Jesus formy baby girl. Wow, it came
through that. I went through allthe levels. This is when you know,
I almost we also do a thinglike you know, open to where
you The third level is going tothe mountains and facing your fears. Right
you got where there's no TV,there's nothing. You're just there with like
minded people and you know there's fourdays of that and that those all of
(15:16):
that experience, Yeah, was AHAbecause you got to understand after uh,
the after leaving and the divorce,I was also twenty thousand dollars in debt
and had a cancer diagnosis. Soit was all back to back. It
was just it was where everything hadbeen going fine, yes, but things
(15:39):
weren't going fine. But you knowhow I mean, you know, you
live, you live your life inthis in this day to day monotony,
and that's what you know, lifeis is a day to day monotony to
it, and so you just rollwith it, hope, wish and pray
that things are quite not as badas they appears to be. But they
are. You know, there's theOstrich syndrome. And but the aha moments
(16:02):
came where you know, I learned, you know, just learning that I
am, I'm stronger than it mayappear to be, that I have the
ability to to move forward, thatI can change my circumstance. Right.
Always knew that I just needed anavenue, I guess to talk it out,
(16:22):
but I needed to go back.The AHA moment came there, I
needed to go back and make peacewith myself because and and and make people
basically make peace with myself, becausestop doing the blame game, because there
wasn't There wasn't a blame game.That that everything in life and all the
decisions that I made fell on meabsolutely, and that was those were the
(16:48):
AHA moments and the oppos the AHAmoments. Also, stop being resistant.
Resistance is literally futile. It literallyis a dream killer. It stops people
in their tracks. That term resistancethey were just going to pretend. I
mean when I moved out and wassitting in my apartment and sitting there with
(17:10):
no furniture, just kind of sittingin the middle, and I went down
as deep hole of depression and anxietybecause I didn't know at fifty, because
that was like ten years ago.I didn't know at fifty what my life
was going to look like now.And I said, I did, I
know what I don't want, butI don't know what I want. And
(17:32):
sitting with God and just me inthat apartment and then dealing with the cancer,
yes, and strategizing of getting outof debt was he It happened because
God knew that I could I coulddeal with it. But he put me
(17:53):
through all that in there so thatI would learn how to deal with it
and move the mountain. And Idid, and so that it was it
was just it was just a learning. I did learn who I was.
But that only that only happens whenyou do a gut gut wrenching cry where
(18:17):
you've got crying and snots coming outof your nose and and and where you've
got to do that guttural like,oh my God, you have to release
all that negative energy except what isyour own heart in every part of it.
Then you can rebuild yourself absolutely.And those are big aha moments,
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and that I'm sure that even theones that are listening to this episode right
now, that they probably can identifywith a lot of times. You know,
you know, we can't control thethings that happen to us. Sometimes
we cannot control is things are justare sometimes right, But it's our response.
(19:04):
Always say that it's our response thateither can make us or break us
right. And even the scripture tellsus that many other afflictions of the righteous,
but God will deliver us from themall. Yes, And so when
we are kind of embedded ourselves inthe world, of God, and know
(19:25):
what he has said about our situation. Know what he has said that he
can bring us out. Now it'stime to Now we can have the confidence
that we can do the work behind, because it's some work now, everybody
who's listening, there is some workbehind, getting free from those negative thoughts,
(19:47):
getting free from the pain of yourpast, getting free from all of
those things that still hinder us.But we have to acknowledge that we have
to make sure that we're able andwilling to do the work that is is
that will help us in the longrun and to push toward our purpose in
life. Right. So, beforewe end this up, I want to
(20:10):
I want you to share with everybody, you know, everything that you've gone
through, everything that might be stillhappening. Now, tell people how you're
able now to pour into people.Tell tell them the ways that that you
pour into people. How you helppeople now that might be struggling or might
(20:33):
need those business solutions that they need. Right So tell people how that all
came to be and what you doright now. So okay, so what
I do? You know, It'sit's so funny because you know, we
all once you, once you learnto accept what is your life is just
(20:55):
ever evolving. So currently I gotpast the one cancer, and now I
was just recently diagnosed in May withanother type. I'm in the middle of
battling, in the middle of chemoand the saint and and everything, and
we'll need a transplant and and andthank you Jesus, one of my sons
is going to be a designated donor, so we're good with that. That's
(21:17):
gonna that's amen. But every Inever I never asked why me, Lord
again, I said, because whenhe when I got when I got the
affliction the first time, I cameout a better person, a boulder meat,
and I like, I soared,right, I soared with my with
my new entrepreneurial business. I justsoared. And I said, oh,
(21:41):
I've got this again, because evidentlyI've gotten complacent, and he's trying to
tell me that you need to sowaragain. You're it's not done for you.
It's not over. So that CicelyTyson would say, I am grateful
for every good thing that ever happened, every bad thing that ever happened,
because it's all a life lessons,right, and I will get through this
(22:03):
too, because it's not my timeto go. But it is my time
to be a testimony to people thateven in the midst of the new diagnosis
and may I remember being in thehospital for thirty one days, they were
like, you're just going to beadmitted. We can't let you go home.
You have to be admitted and you'regoing to be here for a month,
And I went, oh my god. Well, the first week and
(22:25):
half here in shock, I couldbarely hold my head up. My mom
had to do everything for me right. And then as I came out of
it, and I knew I hada team that I was working with.
I am with legal shield, bythe way, and I do provide some
legal plans for business owners and employees. That's where I focus on. It
speaks to my heart because I protectan empowered a community and that speaks to
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my nursing background. But more thanthat, life is more than that.
More than that is that I havea team that was so supportive. But
I knew that I couldn't let themdown. I had to. It was
important that if if God was goingto take me, that I was able
(23:07):
to show the world, my team, my family that in the midst of
a storm, that you need topersevere. Now, I could have done
one of two things with the diagnosis. I could have just climbed into a
hole and just been depressed and justthat's it. Or I said, I
looked at myself again because not beingresistant, and said down, you can
(23:32):
do this and say let's go.Let's make whatever time the best time.
Let's leave a footprint. And sothen I was I started, I said,
we're going to rock this business.You're going to be there for the
team, and you're gonna help yourteam rock their business, and we're going
to be able to be a testimony. And I was doing zooms from the
hospital room, selling memberships from thehospital where the team was coming. Because
(23:57):
that is what you do when youhave a storm. It's being intentional.
It's making a verbal statement, notin your mind, but verbally that I
will be intentional with my life andmy family and my business from this point
on, so that when the Lordtakes me home, I have left a
(24:21):
legacy that they can grab onto.So that is why I'm super very energetic,
because I can't allow I don't havethe time to allow things to get
me down. Not that I don'tget down, I do go through stark
moments you can't help. I'm ahuman being, but I allow myself so
(24:41):
many, so much time to goahead and stay there. I reach out,
I talk to somebody and say this, I'm on the ledge again.
And then I have friends that say, let's let's get you off the ledge,
right, and family, right,let's let let's let's get you off
the ledge. That talking, makingsure that you communicate and not keep it
in inside is so important. Findthose safe spaces. If you don't have
(25:06):
friends that you can talk to likethat, then you get your get your
get your butt a new set offriends. That's period an expression. Some
people can't go where you're gonna go. They're not there to God's gonna put
them in and pluck them out justas fast, and you let them do
it, and you let them doit, and you let them do it.
(25:26):
You're gonna put them in and plugthem out. But that that is
my thing. So you know,my thing now is just motivation, is
letting people know that you can't doit. Our goal is not to control
the storm. Absolutely, goal isto listen to God's word and get through
the storm and just hold on toothat. I remember one of the nurses
(25:47):
in the hospital, saying, Godfearing woman, and I'll and I'll end
with this and then you can letme know what to do next. But
she said to me, she saton the bed and she was holding my
hand as she closed the door.She said, and she because I was
worried about labs and numbers, becauseof course I'm a nurse. I'm looking
at labs and numbers. She said, I want you not to look at
labs and numbers. She says,don't worry about She said, don't worry
(26:07):
about the numbers. She said,the numbers don't mean anything. She said,
you keep your eye on God andyou get through. And you said,
your goal is to ride the storm. Stop looking at numbers. Numbers
are going to come and go.And she said it peacefully, and then
she prayed over me. When Isay, God has brought angels, and
yeah, ask that, and ifyou'll bring them, He'll bring them.
(26:29):
You just got to release and letit happen. And when she said that,
do you know I don't do it. I don't do it. I
didn't allow negativity into the room.It was only positive vibes. I did
not allow doctors to say anything negative. I said, I already know what
I have. If you're going tosay something negative, there's no point in
you been here every but I don'tneed to hear it. Just go ahead,
you know, just we just needso you can control the trajectory of
(26:51):
your life and what said and what'snot said right. And as a result,
got through the five months right andstill am still waiting for certain So
this is my my tip. WhatI want to leave with you is that
storms are going to happen. Youcan't control you, you can't get over
it. And storms are going tohappen quickly. Yes, without knowing they're
(27:14):
going to come, you will.You will not be prepared. So when
if you're in a situation where you'rewaiting for life to just be perfect so
that you can go ahead and justexpand yourself, it's not going to happen.
You go ahead and grow, expandyourself, do what you need to
do for your family, your finances, your business, your spirituality, whatever
(27:37):
that is. You do that,walk, do that now because tomorrow's not
promised. So waiting for things tobe perfect is never going to happen.
Because you're an imperfect person, beautifullyimperfect, perfect person. So you don't
wait, you just you just writeit down, write that goal down,
(27:57):
you keep it moving, and Godwill bring the people in your life that
need to be in your life tohelp you reach it. But until you
make a decision, yeah, tobe an active member in your own life,
because your life is a verb.It's not a noun. Your life
is a verb. It requires action. Until you make a decision to act,
(28:18):
nothing will happen. And you've gotto get it out of your head
and on paper and make and talk, tell somebody else that you trust,
so that you have an accountability personthat holds you accountable. And that's all
I got. Well, that isso a good note to end on.
Right there, you have such awonderful and beautiful story of resilience, and
(28:41):
you said it best. It's inour response. I believe that God releases
the agels, He releases the thingsthat you need, the resources, the
people, the support, everything.Once we are open, right, once
we are open, and we haveto prepare because I believe whatever is in
you is gonna come out of you. When hardship, when trouble, when
(29:03):
obstacles come, when situations come,whatever's in you is gonna come out of
you. And that's the power ofpreparation so that we can be ready because
things are gonna happen. They're gonnahappen. It's inevitable, right. But
we as believers, we know thatGod is and he can and he will
do all that we need him todo in the timing that he needs to
(29:29):
do. So thank you so muchdone for being here and blessing us with
your testimony and your story. Knowthat we're gonna be praying for you God's
speed on your surgery and your recovery. We're praying God's divine healing and quick
turnaround for you all the time.So thank you so much for being here.
(29:53):
We're gonna wrap this up, everybody, Thank you Lord, Thank you
so much for being here. Ithank everybody for joining us on another episode
of Restore My Soul podcast. Youcan follow me on all social media at
(30:14):
Princess Miller's and connect with me atmy website at Princessmilis dot com. So
I thank you y'all. Make surethat you remember that grief is a journey,
but you don't have to walk italone. So we will see you
next time in the next episode ofRestore My Soul. Thank you for joining
(30:37):
another episode of Restore My Soul Podcast. Be sure to listen and watch each
week as we continue the conversation onhow to bounce back from the setback of
grief and loss and to become resilientso that you too can thrive in life.
Don't forget to like and subscribe sothat you don't miss out on any
new episodes, and share this withas many people as possible so they can
(31:00):
be encouraged in their emotional wellness journey. We invite you to follow Princess Milons
on all social media platforms and onthe website at Princessmilans dot com. Thank
you for listening and we'll see youin the next episode of the Restore My
Soul Podcast.
Hello and welcome to all beautiful soulsout there. You're listening to the Restore
My Soul Podcast with Princess Millons,your favorite grief coach and emotional wellness specialist.
In this space, we will helpthose who struggle with grief and loss
and have real conversations about how toovercome it in every area of life through
(01:14):
our personal stories, practical information,and wisdom from Princess and her special guests.
We are here to educate, inspire, and empower you with the strategies
you need in your emotional healing journey. We do not offer medical advice,
but we believe that we can alllearn to heal by creating a mindset to
grow, pass our pain and pushtoward our purpose. Our goal is to
(01:37):
remind you that grief is a journeyand you do not have to walk it
alone. No matter what the painor loss is, you can be restored
and live fully in your purpose.But let's push through the pain together as
we share our stories of resilience inone episode at a time. Well,
how oh, everybody, Welcome toanother episode of Restore My Soul Podcast,
(02:04):
where we are here to educate,inspire, and empower you through your emotional
Healing Journey. I am your host, Princess Millon's. I'm your favorite grief
and emotional wellness coach, and I'mso excited to be here, so excited
for this episode today because we knowthat we have all been through things in
(02:25):
our life, but I believe thatwe can all learn by healing and creating
a mindset that pushes us past thatpain or the trauma or whatever we've gone
through in our life right toward ourtoward our purpose. So today we have
a very special guest, and hername is Don Brinkley. Don has been
(02:51):
a registered nurse, so what wecall it our end right, She's been
an our end for over thirty years. Can y'all believe that? And has
done some great work in that field. She has gone through many battles in
her life and she has overcome rightso many things that has sustained those battles.
(03:12):
So now she's able to offer businesssolutions to others so that they can
show up and be the best versionof themselves. So I want to welcome
to the show today, Done Brinkley, thank you so much for being here
today. I'm so excited for ourconversation. I'm excited to be here friends,
as I'm excited for the conversation too. Yes, let's go. So,
(03:36):
I know that as many of us, right, we've gone through a
lot. People see us now,right, People see us now and they
see us thriving, They see usin life, and sometimes we don't look
like what we've been through, right, we look like what we've been through
(04:00):
before. We kind of dive intoa little bit of what you have gone
through or how you are and whatyou do right now. I want you
to share with the audience who isdone? You know, what are some
things that some challenges that you hadto go through to be where you are
(04:23):
right now. So Dawn Brinkley isa woman that had to reinvent herself to
actually had to find herself. I'msixty years old. I and thank you.
And basically, you know, Iwas brought up in a household in
(04:47):
which, you know, you weresupposed to do everything just right right you
were you know, we mom wantedme to go to college get the right
degree, and I had to bea helpmate for my husband whenever I did
get married, and you know thegoal was to have the white picket fence
and to you know, marry rightand have the kids and and that sort
(05:09):
of thing, which I did.I did it very well. But along
the way I lost myself in allof that. And but uh, I
am extremely resilient. I do knowhow to change and change and adapt when
it's needed. But you know,along the way, I lost not only
(05:32):
myself but my voice, which wasreally most important. So we'll deep dive
into that a little bit. Butthe Dawn Brinkley now is a it is
a person that I've always been,but I've been able to have the ability
to come out and and just bethat bold badass me hopefully just and uh
(05:59):
and be unapologetic because I'm at thatage that I can be unapologetic and do
what I need to do that sowhen the Lord calls me home, I've
left it all here and on thetable, absolutely. And that is so
important, right that when we liveand we walk in our purpose, that
(06:19):
when God comes back and he callsus home, right, we want to
be empty. We want to makesure that we've emptied out everything that He
has given put inside of us todeliver to the world. Right, because
the Bible tells us that everybody hassomething to do that shows who God is
right, and so when we showwe do those things that show who God
(06:43):
is a lot of times we makeit look so easy, right, especially
as women, sometimes we make thingslook so easy. But I've heard heard
it said before, and sometimes thecrown that we wear is is very heavy.
The crowd that we wear is veryheavy, and people don't see that
(07:04):
side of it, right, Sokind of tell us a little bit about
some things you had to battle inyour life to kind of get you to
where you are. You know someyou know some of the things you know.
First off, it was literally Ithink it ate. I think one
(07:26):
of the biggest things, yes,was which you know transforms us? Because
you know, everything who we areright now is a direct result of our
childhoods, everything that we really experienced. We take that along with us,
and I think finding out basically whenmy father came to visit, my mom
(07:46):
and my dad were uh separated,I mean divorced, and when he came
to visit, he took us tothe Barn and Bailey Circus, me and
my brother and I remember specifically,I think I was popping it around third
grade where it was literally the lasttime he ever came around, and we
were very close to our dad,and so I went, oh my god.
So that was like kind of thefirst loss. Right. Then my
(08:09):
mom did remarry. My stepfather wasas good as he could be. My
stepfather was very good at finances andthings of that nature. But he really
wasn't a schmoozy person. But hewas a sweetheart. But then finding out
at eighteen that the dad, mybiological the dad that I thought was my
father, wasn't. That it wasa different person. Found that out at
(08:33):
eighteen, and that he wanted nodealings with me at all. Right,
it was, you know, justa relationship. And then I happened,
and so that was a second maleloss. Yeah, right, And so
then I went on this journey oftrying to get acceptance from men. Right,
(08:58):
It was a journey, and butgot out of that fairly quickly.
You know. It went through acouple of years of just you know,
trying to identify. But then yehit, you know, it was it
was doing that. Then I gotmarried. I had two boys, Yeah,
got on four heart children as aresult of that marriage. You know,
(09:22):
he brought in He was a goodman, but you know, we
were married for over twenty years andthere were just circumstances that occurred in which
I couldn't take it another day anddecided that this wasn't gonna work. And
it was during that process, andI can't blame it on anybody but myself
because we all made choices in life, but my choices were skewed because of
(09:46):
my history. Wow. So,but going through personal growth, going through
some steps, bonding with other womenrather than keeping because you know, we,
like you said, we all forthat crown we all have and we
wear that crown because we are everythingfor the family. We are so much
for the family that we lose ourselvesand marriages and having children, not that
(10:11):
we don't love them, but youdo find that there is a certain self
loss that happens because we are givers, and I'm a caregiver by nature.
So it was a lot of energyout. But when that ended, when
that marriage ended, trying to rEFIndmyself, redefine myself was extremely hard.
(10:39):
Okay, Wow, so I'm lookinghear you say that these losses that you
had in your life, you reallyhad to come to a point to where
you had to make sure that itwas not buried, that it was not
buried, and it was something thatyou had to kind of work through,
(11:01):
even sometimes unaware. Sometimes I believethat things happen to us, right,
losses, grief, some things,you know, divorce, loss of life,
the depths in our family, thingslike that, whatever it is,
and we pull the wool the coversover our heads, we bury it right,
(11:28):
and then one day something explodes andwe don't recognize that explosion was a
result that we did not deal withthat loss. You know what I'm saying.
I heard you say on a livethat you did recently. Right,
you did a live. I watchedit. You said on a live you
(11:52):
were talking about resistance to what isAnd so I know when I teach each
other people about emotional wellness and thingslike that, I always say, the
first step is to acknowledge your pain. In other words, when you are
going through it's just like an addiction. Right, if you don't acknowledge that
(12:16):
you're an addict, that's what theytell me, right, you you the
arid and tell me they say whenyou you know, if you're an addict,
unless you acknowledge that you are,that you're addicted, you cannot get
help, right, There's no waythat someone can help you if you don't
acknowledge it first. So that livethat you did it really inspired me because
(12:41):
you were talking about being resistant towhat is and sometimes that you know,
we we don't talk to the elephantthat's in the room, and it can
cause that pain in our lives,not just being resistant to the things that
are. It can cause pain inour lives right right, that prevents us
(13:01):
from talking to the elephant in theroom. And so what I hear you
saying is you had to talk tothat elephant in the room, and don't
You couldn't bury what was. Youcouldn't bear the fact that you found out
that you your real dad was wasyour not your dad? At eighteen?
(13:24):
You had no control over that,You had no control over per se the
decision that you ultimately had to maketo in the marriage. You know what
I'm saying, All the things thatwe do. So can you talk about
some things that were an AHA momentfor you? What was the AHA moment
(13:45):
for you that like, I gotto get past this, I got to
find a way to make sure thatI'm not stuck in this pain or in
this thing that's happened in my life. I think a big AHA moment.
It was when my my baby girl, my stepdaughter Amber, when I when
when I did, uh, youknow, leave her dad? And she
(14:09):
she was always like teamed on.All the kids were like a mere tein
don. I was like, oh, I love you too, ye so
but she she's a personal development personand so she was like and I never
believed in personal development. I couldn'tbelieve. I mean, I like historical
romance and you know, British stuffand things like that. And I couldn't
figure out when everybody was at Barnesand Oples, why is everybody going to
(14:30):
the South help section. I don'tget it, like what you and again
this is me burying my head inthe sand. Right. Wow, it
was ambered. It said, uh, mine, you need personal development and
you need to sign up. AndI did. I sign up for this
and this benchmark program, which wasabsolutely phenomenal. The aha moments came through
(14:52):
that program. Thank you Jesus formy baby girl. Wow, it came
through that. I went through allthe levels. This is when you know,
I almost we also do a thinglike you know, open to where
you The third level is going tothe mountains and facing your fears. Right
you got where there's no TV,there's nothing. You're just there with like
minded people and you know there's fourdays of that and that those all of
(15:16):
that experience, Yeah, was AHAbecause you got to understand after uh,
the after leaving and the divorce,I was also twenty thousand dollars in debt
and had a cancer diagnosis. Soit was all back to back. It
was just it was where everything hadbeen going fine, yes, but things
(15:39):
weren't going fine. But you knowhow I mean, you know, you
live, you live your life inthis in this day to day monotony,
and that's what you know, lifeis is a day to day monotony to
it, and so you just rollwith it, hope, wish and pray
that things are quite not as badas they appears to be. But they
are. You know, there's theOstrich syndrome. And but the aha moments
(16:02):
came where you know, I learned, you know, just learning that I
am, I'm stronger than it mayappear to be, that I have the
ability to to move forward, thatI can change my circumstance. Right.
Always knew that I just needed anavenue, I guess to talk it out,
(16:22):
but I needed to go back.The AHA moment came there, I
needed to go back and make peacewith myself because and and and make people
basically make peace with myself, becausestop doing the blame game, because there
wasn't There wasn't a blame game.That that everything in life and all the
decisions that I made fell on meabsolutely, and that was those were the
(16:48):
AHA moments and the oppos the AHAmoments. Also, stop being resistant.
Resistance is literally futile. It literallyis a dream killer. It stops people
in their tracks. That term resistancethey were just going to pretend. I
mean when I moved out and wassitting in my apartment and sitting there with
(17:10):
no furniture, just kind of sittingin the middle, and I went down
as deep hole of depression and anxietybecause I didn't know at fifty, because
that was like ten years ago.I didn't know at fifty what my life
was going to look like now.And I said, I did, I
know what I don't want, butI don't know what I want. And
(17:32):
sitting with God and just me inthat apartment and then dealing with the cancer,
yes, and strategizing of getting outof debt was he It happened because
God knew that I could I coulddeal with it. But he put me
(17:53):
through all that in there so thatI would learn how to deal with it
and move the mountain. And Idid, and so that it was it
was just it was just a learning. I did learn who I was.
But that only that only happens whenyou do a gut gut wrenching cry where
(18:17):
you've got crying and snots coming outof your nose and and and where you've
got to do that guttural like,oh my God, you have to release
all that negative energy except what isyour own heart in every part of it.
Then you can rebuild yourself absolutely.And those are big aha moments,
(18:41):
and that I'm sure that even theones that are listening to this episode right
now, that they probably can identifywith a lot of times. You know,
you know, we can't control thethings that happen to us. Sometimes
we cannot control is things are justare sometimes right, But it's our response.
(19:04):
Always say that it's our response thateither can make us or break us
right. And even the scripture tellsus that many other afflictions of the righteous,
but God will deliver us from themall. Yes, And so when
we are kind of embedded ourselves inthe world, of God, and know
(19:25):
what he has said about our situation. Know what he has said that he
can bring us out. Now it'stime to Now we can have the confidence
that we can do the work behind, because it's some work now, everybody
who's listening, there is some workbehind, getting free from those negative thoughts,
(19:47):
getting free from the pain of yourpast, getting free from all of
those things that still hinder us.But we have to acknowledge that we have
to make sure that we're able andwilling to do the work that is is
that will help us in the longrun and to push toward our purpose in
life. Right. So, beforewe end this up, I want to
(20:10):
I want you to share with everybody, you know, everything that you've gone
through, everything that might be stillhappening. Now, tell people how you're
able now to pour into people.Tell tell them the ways that that you
pour into people. How you helppeople now that might be struggling or might
(20:33):
need those business solutions that they need. Right So tell people how that all
came to be and what you doright now. So okay, so what
I do? You know, It'sit's so funny because you know, we
all once you, once you learnto accept what is your life is just
(20:55):
ever evolving. So currently I gotpast the one cancer, and now I
was just recently diagnosed in May withanother type. I'm in the middle of
battling, in the middle of chemoand the saint and and everything, and
we'll need a transplant and and andthank you Jesus, one of my sons
is going to be a designated donor, so we're good with that. That's
(21:17):
gonna that's amen. But every Inever I never asked why me, Lord
again, I said, because whenhe when I got when I got the
affliction the first time, I cameout a better person, a boulder meat,
and I like, I soared,right, I soared with my with
my new entrepreneurial business. I justsoared. And I said, oh,
(21:41):
I've got this again, because evidentlyI've gotten complacent, and he's trying to
tell me that you need to sowaragain. You're it's not done for you.
It's not over. So that CicelyTyson would say, I am grateful
for every good thing that ever happened, every bad thing that ever happened,
because it's all a life lessons,right, and I will get through this
(22:03):
too, because it's not my timeto go. But it is my time
to be a testimony to people thateven in the midst of the new diagnosis
and may I remember being in thehospital for thirty one days, they were
like, you're just going to beadmitted. We can't let you go home.
You have to be admitted and you'regoing to be here for a month,
And I went, oh my god. Well, the first week and
(22:25):
half here in shock, I couldbarely hold my head up. My mom
had to do everything for me right. And then as I came out of
it, and I knew I hada team that I was working with.
I am with legal shield, bythe way, and I do provide some
legal plans for business owners and employees. That's where I focus on. It
speaks to my heart because I protectan empowered a community and that speaks to
(22:47):
my nursing background. But more thanthat, life is more than that.
More than that is that I havea team that was so supportive. But
I knew that I couldn't let themdown. I had to. It was
important that if if God was goingto take me, that I was able
(23:07):
to show the world, my team, my family that in the midst of
a storm, that you need topersevere. Now, I could have done
one of two things with the diagnosis. I could have just climbed into a
hole and just been depressed and justthat's it. Or I said, I
looked at myself again because not beingresistant, and said down, you can
(23:32):
do this and say let's go.Let's make whatever time the best time.
Let's leave a footprint. And sothen I was I started, I said,
we're going to rock this business.You're going to be there for the
team, and you're gonna help yourteam rock their business, and we're going
to be able to be a testimony. And I was doing zooms from the
hospital room, selling memberships from thehospital where the team was coming. Because
(23:57):
that is what you do when youhave a storm. It's being intentional.
It's making a verbal statement, notin your mind, but verbally that I
will be intentional with my life andmy family and my business from this point
on, so that when the Lordtakes me home, I have left a
(24:21):
legacy that they can grab onto.So that is why I'm super very energetic,
because I can't allow I don't havethe time to allow things to get
me down. Not that I don'tget down, I do go through stark
moments you can't help. I'm ahuman being, but I allow myself so
(24:41):
many, so much time to goahead and stay there. I reach out,
I talk to somebody and say this, I'm on the ledge again.
And then I have friends that say, let's let's get you off the ledge,
right, and family, right,let's let let's let's get you off
the ledge. That talking, makingsure that you communicate and not keep it
in inside is so important. Findthose safe spaces. If you don't have
(25:06):
friends that you can talk to likethat, then you get your get your
get your butt a new set offriends. That's period an expression. Some
people can't go where you're gonna go. They're not there to God's gonna put
them in and pluck them out justas fast, and you let them do
it, and you let them doit, and you let them do it.
(25:26):
You're gonna put them in and plugthem out. But that that is
my thing. So you know,my thing now is just motivation, is
letting people know that you can't doit. Our goal is not to control
the storm. Absolutely, goal isto listen to God's word and get through
the storm and just hold on toothat. I remember one of the nurses
(25:47):
in the hospital, saying, Godfearing woman, and I'll and I'll end
with this and then you can letme know what to do next. But
she said to me, she saton the bed and she was holding my
hand as she closed the door.She said, and she because I was
worried about labs and numbers, becauseof course I'm a nurse. I'm looking
at labs and numbers. She said, I want you not to look at
labs and numbers. She says,don't worry about She said, don't worry
(26:07):
about the numbers. She said,the numbers don't mean anything. She said,
you keep your eye on God andyou get through. And you said,
your goal is to ride the storm. Stop looking at numbers. Numbers
are going to come and go.And she said it peacefully, and then
she prayed over me. When Isay, God has brought angels, and
yeah, ask that, and ifyou'll bring them, He'll bring them.
(26:29):
You just got to release and letit happen. And when she said that,
do you know I don't do it. I don't do it. I
didn't allow negativity into the room.It was only positive vibes. I did
not allow doctors to say anything negative. I said, I already know what
I have. If you're going tosay something negative, there's no point in
you been here every but I don'tneed to hear it. Just go ahead,
you know, just we just needso you can control the trajectory of
(26:51):
your life and what said and what'snot said right. And as a result,
got through the five months right andstill am still waiting for certain So
this is my my tip. WhatI want to leave with you is that
storms are going to happen. Youcan't control you, you can't get over
it. And storms are going tohappen quickly. Yes, without knowing they're
(27:14):
going to come, you will.You will not be prepared. So when
if you're in a situation where you'rewaiting for life to just be perfect so
that you can go ahead and justexpand yourself, it's not going to happen.
You go ahead and grow, expandyourself, do what you need to
do for your family, your finances, your business, your spirituality, whatever
(27:37):
that is. You do that,walk, do that now because tomorrow's not
promised. So waiting for things tobe perfect is never going to happen.
Because you're an imperfect person, beautifullyimperfect, perfect person. So you don't
wait, you just you just writeit down, write that goal down,
(27:57):
you keep it moving, and Godwill bring the people in your life that
need to be in your life tohelp you reach it. But until you
make a decision, yeah, tobe an active member in your own life,
because your life is a verb.It's not a noun. Your life
is a verb. It requires action. Until you make a decision to act,
(28:18):
nothing will happen. And you've gotto get it out of your head
and on paper and make and talk, tell somebody else that you trust,
so that you have an accountability personthat holds you accountable. And that's all
I got. Well, that isso a good note to end on.
Right there, you have such awonderful and beautiful story of resilience, and
(28:41):
you said it best. It's inour response. I believe that God releases
the agels, He releases the thingsthat you need, the resources, the
people, the support, everything.Once we are open, right, once
we are open, and we haveto prepare because I believe whatever is in
you is gonna come out of you. When hardship, when trouble, when
(29:03):
obstacles come, when situations come,whatever's in you is gonna come out of
you. And that's the power ofpreparation so that we can be ready because
things are gonna happen. They're gonnahappen. It's inevitable, right. But
we as believers, we know thatGod is and he can and he will
do all that we need him todo in the timing that he needs to
(29:29):
do. So thank you so muchdone for being here and blessing us with
your testimony and your story. Knowthat we're gonna be praying for you God's
speed on your surgery and your recovery. We're praying God's divine healing and quick
turnaround for you all the time.So thank you so much for being here.
(29:53):
We're gonna wrap this up, everybody, Thank you Lord, Thank you
so much for being here. Ithank everybody for joining us on another episode
of Restore My Soul podcast. Youcan follow me on all social media at
(30:14):
Princess Miller's and connect with me atmy website at Princessmilis dot com. So
I thank you y'all. Make surethat you remember that grief is a journey,
but you don't have to walk italone. So we will see you
next time in the next episode ofRestore My Soul. Thank you for joining
(30:37):
another episode of Restore My Soul Podcast. Be sure to listen and watch each
week as we continue the conversation onhow to bounce back from the setback of
grief and loss and to become resilientso that you too can thrive in life.
Don't forget to like and subscribe sothat you don't miss out on any
new episodes, and share this withas many people as possible so they can
(31:00):
be encouraged in their emotional wellness journey. We invite you to follow Princess Milons
on all social media platforms and onthe website at Princessmilans dot com. Thank
you for listening and we'll see youin the next episode of the Restore My
Soul Podcast.
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