April 24, 2025 • 23 mins
We are back for another week!!
If you guys have not checked out our podcast from last week, definitely go listen. Chatting each week helps us stay connected from 5,000 miles away! Talking about our lives, trends, or even the latest gossip! We normally pick different topics and start yapping!
This week’s podcast is just Heather talking a little bit about things she's learning through life and why we shouldn't take life so hard! We hope you guys enjoy, and don’t forget to reach out on social media with feedback!!
Thanks for listening !!
TikTok: RingHerUP
Instagram: Ringherup_
If you guys have not checked out our podcast from last week, definitely go listen. Chatting each week helps us stay connected from 5,000 miles away! Talking about our lives, trends, or even the latest gossip! We normally pick different topics and start yapping!
This week’s podcast is just Heather talking a little bit about things she's learning through life and why we shouldn't take life so hard! We hope you guys enjoy, and don’t forget to reach out on social media with feedback!!
Thanks for listening !!
TikTok: RingHerUP
Instagram: Ringherup_
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hi everybody, So we're back with another pod. It is
just me today, Heather, Britt and I are really fucking slacking,
not even slacking, like life is just whopping our asses.
To be completely honest, I sound like a man today.
I have the worst allergies, like you can literally stay
(00:22):
in my face, so living for that today is also
a very special day. I'm feeling this on April twenty second,
which is Brinn's twenty first birthday, and she's in Hawaii
still for any of our new listeners, and I'm stuck
in fucking Pa. But I genuinely don't know what I
(00:47):
would do without her and her friendship. Like She's always
been so kind and so level headed and just who
everyone wants to be, like the face card lethal like
she hands down is the best person I've ever met
my whole entire life. And I wish I could be
studying this with Ebren. But we'll have our time to
celebrate when you come home. But I love our friendship
(01:13):
to death. Duh, whondever I we a podcast together? Okay, anyways,
back to the original whatever we're doing here. So recently,
I've been like soul searching if anyone has been listening
(01:35):
since like our very first few podcasts, my New Year's
resolution was to start going to therapy. For like many reasons,
I do think therapy is good. I really just wanted
to go to like be the best version I possibly
could be of myself. Like I'm growing up, I have
a career, Like I'm doing all the things I just
(01:55):
like need like a little like push whatever, So just
rising above and pushing through. Okay, anyways, so I'm talking
about two topics today. We're gonna kind of try and
make this like shorter and sweeter. I am partially ready
(02:17):
for work, is what I'm doing this morning. Typically when
I can't find something to wear or I just like
can't do this, like I'm just like a I like
tired of getting ready for work. Is when I sit
down in film. So this week will just be me.
Next week should just be Brend and then we should
(02:37):
like be back on track. This time difference is killing us,
like every time we get and sit down to film,
it's just like somethings. Literally something is always going on,
some crazy thing. Okay, So I did take some notes today,
Like when I say I took notes, like I took
some notes because I the last way is by myself.
(03:03):
I could talk, I could talk all day long. I
can talk about anything. When I have to sit here
and talk to myself, I'm like, I don't know what
to do. I don't know what to talk about. I
don't know how to talk about myself. So I'm just
like not very good at like sitting here and like speaking.
So for whoever has a podcast like solo, props to you,
(03:23):
because I couldn't. There's no way. So let's start by
things I've been learning about myself. So recently, I have
gone through the worst heartbreak and my whole entire life
other than like Brian leaving, but like real like breakup heartbreak,
(03:47):
and I haven't spoke much about it at all. I
don't really plan to speak on it on here, to
be honest, because I'm embarrassed. So we're gonna like deep
dive into that a little bit today. And I don't
really know where this is supposed to take me, to
be honest, We're just trying to get there, Okay. So
(04:12):
lately I've been noticing some patterns about myself. Uh, and
some are so funny and like so great and like
others are just so uncomfy. So today's little podcast podcast
episode is just like what I've been like picking up
for myself. So a few of my friends, they have
(04:38):
asked me to teach them how to be how I am,
And honestly, I just don't think it's something to be taught.
I just think it's how my brain is, like wired.
I'm so like out of sight, out of mind. I
can hold a grudge until the day that I drop
over dead, like I can forgive, I will never forget.
(04:59):
Like I mean, like I am not a girl's girl
when it comes to like girls being mean, or girls
like trying to wigg away their way into relationships, or
just like girls on social media that are like fake
as fuck, Like I just like can't be around that.
I don't care for it. If it comes to like
my friends, I will I would die for my friends,
(05:23):
like I will lie, I will steal, I will cheat,
I will do what I have to do for my friends.
But I would never do that to like another girl,
Like I would never just be like, oh, you're random,
like I'm gonna like ride or die for you now.
But I'm also like not gonna go fuck your boyfriend either.
So I just like don't care about girls that like
aren't like right here to me. So that's just like
(05:45):
something I can't teach. So, for example, the other day,
I had gotten a text message from a certain somebody
while Alison was at my house, and I'm just like
sitting there like replying, like cooking something up up here,
and Alison's like, I want to text so and so
like help me text him, and I'm like okay, So
I'm telling her like all these great things to text him,
(06:08):
all these like crazy insane like you're annoying, but like
I missed you, like just like these crazy like like
crazy and then we start like chat gbting and she's
like no, I just can't. I'm just so nice. I'm like,
but you're like too nice. So she asked him how
his fucking Easter there was, and I was like so disappointed,
but like whatever. So I just like I think it's
(06:32):
just like how I am and how my personality is.
I come off like very strong, like very thick skald
like I just come off like very bold, like I
just have a very certain type of personality that like
you're not going to get anything past me. And I
think girls are just really scared to stand up to girls,
but to guys. And I'm not scared of anybody. So
(06:56):
that's one thing I've learned about myself. Something I've learned
about myself and relationships is I will empty my cup
to fill up someone else's friendships relationships, like my relationship
with my brother, Like I will do anything I possibly
(07:16):
can in my power to help and support somebody. But
once I've had enough, like I've just had enough, and
I will never speak to you again. I'll never even
speak on your name, good or bad. I just don't care.
Like out of sight, out of mind is like the
best way I could describe my personality. Like I haven't
(07:36):
seen my mom in three years, but if I saw her,
like I'd probably have a mental breakdown, but like it's
out of sight, like it's out of mind, like I
don't actually care, but like if things started coming back,
like then I care. I think that is normal though,
but I don't know. So why am I learning these
things about myself? So to be honest, I'm like self aware,
(08:00):
but I think I'm almost too self aware because I'm
scared of becoming like this persona that's like not me
and not staying true to myself. So I'm just trying
to figure out like solely truly like who I am
and like what I want out of this life, and
going to therapy has really helped me discover what path
(08:22):
I want to be on. So that's just kind of why.
But I feel like everyone needs to be like self
aware and like really like soul search and like dig
deep because like no one else is going to do
it for you, like at all, like never. And the
(08:43):
last thing that I learned, and I learned this from
I went to Georgia like a week and a half ago.
I shadowed this celebrity stylist and I was like, if
you were twenty one again, what would you tell your
younger self? And she was like, give yourself grace, Like
it's okay to fail. That's exactly how you learn, Like
(09:04):
it's okay to do X, Y and Z, live your life,
focus on your career like this wholy spill. And I
was like, oh my god, Like I've obviously heard the
that before and I know that, but just hearing it
from somebody so iconic she was an icon just really
put it into perspective for me that just because you
(09:26):
have this huge following and career and money, like doesn't
mean you have to be so like ungraceful and ungrateful
and just a bitch. So knowing that she fails and
that's why she's where she is to be so successful
like gives me grace essentially, so more of the story
(09:56):
his I genuinely don't like to be a lo I
fear we all know this, even if I'm just like
sitting there with like a friend, like not talking. I
hate to be alone, which is something I'm trying to
work on because I hold myself back in so many
areas because I'm like, Okay, well I can't do it
by myself. I don't want to do by myself, and
(10:17):
resting is being productive. I feel like I need to
like go go, go, go go at all times, and
like I just like need to relax, I see, like
take a chill pill, because you don't always have to
be doing something to be productive. I also try to
escape the present all the time and like dream about
my future and dream about my career and where I'm
(10:40):
going to end up and who I'm going to marry
and what kids and pets and house and states and
all the whole thing, which is very not me because
I'm very typey, but sometimes I like dwell on the future,
especially if something like huge in my life is happening,
I'm like, oh my god, like I need to know
(11:00):
what the outcome of this is going to be before
I throw up, which honestly isn't always the case. I
just like need to accept the present and what I'm
here for now because at some point, like this is
all going to be over and I'm gonna want to
be back here and the worst way like being at home,
living at home, having like no bills and no responsibility.
(11:25):
So I think like allowing yourself to just go with
the flow can be good. I don't say I'm a
control freak, but like maybe I don't know. So our
next topic is what is Brent? I'm struggling. Our next
(11:50):
topic my, oh my god, Okay, my next topic is
I what I wish people talked about. So this kind
of circles back to like conversations and thoughts and feelings
and growing up, I just could never be vulnerable, Like
(12:13):
I could never cry. It was always like what are
you crying about? Like I'll give you something to cry about.
Like I could just never be upset. I could never
feel my feelings, so I feel like this is almost
like a little taboo because I feel like in high school,
at least me personally, no one could be vulnerable. Nobody
(12:34):
like you missed your ex boyfriend your shit out of
lute because you're not texting him, because you can't let
him know that he has the upperhand, even like different
situations that you just like can't admit you're wrong. That
was me, like literally three years ago, like two or
three years ago. I just like couldn't grasp the fact
(12:54):
that I was a human being that had feelings and
that I could tell people how I felt without it
being like this whole production. I think at the time
it was more just like you're scared of being judged.
And now that I'm like growing and maturing and trying
to figure out who I am, I think it's okay
to be vulnerable and to tell people like exactly how
(13:18):
you feel and to just pour love into people, because
I genuinely believe that love given is not love loss.
And I've said that on here so many times, like
so many times, like sometimes people just need you for
your love and they're not supposed to be in your
life forever, which is okay, Like you're supposed to like
(13:40):
outgrow people and like move on. So I feel like
what we put out there comes back multiplied. So even
just like being nice to somebody just because, like I
feel like you just don't have to feel vulnerable all
(14:01):
the time. And recently I have really learned this going
through a breakup, Like I definitely have been vulnerable for
a while. I can like sit here and tell people
like exactly how I feel, like exactly what I need
from you, and like not be like, oh my god,
I'm like such a pussy for this, Like they're gonna
take this and make fun of me. Like if you
(14:23):
tell someone your feelings and they turn around and push
it right back in your face and make fun of you,
they are not the kind of person you want around
like at all, Like if they're not emotionally mature enough
and capable to grasp the fact that they are hurting
your feelings or even just like you like spewing love
to them and they just like don't understand that, like
(14:43):
they're probably not the person for you. I think that's
where like just maturity comes in, and some people just
aren't mature, and some relationships are meant to end, and
it is okay for you to outgrow friends, family, boyfriend girlfriends,
like it is fine, and if that is one thing
I've learned this last year, like I will be okay
(15:06):
out growing these people, because once one door closes, another opened,
and I genuinely think that there will always be someone.
And I hate to say better, but like better, Like
I'm sure there's better than me out there. There's better
than my ex boyfriend's out there. I think you change
and evolve and really like mesh when you meet like
(15:28):
your soulmate, where you guys can grow together. So it's
not really like, oh, he was better than he was
because of X, Y and Z and he did this
and he didn't do that. I just mean like better,
as in better for you and where you're at right
now in your life and maybe things can circle back around,
but not really counting on it. So I personally spend
(15:56):
a lot of time on social media, which is the
most toxic thing I could probably ever do for myself.
I just think social media is so fake. These girls
are fake personally, Like I have fake lips, I have
fake boobs, I get my lashes, nails, and I get this.
(16:17):
I get all this stuff done, and people like you're
so pretty, and I'm the first one to tell you,
like it's all fake. It is all fake, Like, yes,
I'm naturally pretty, but no one actually looks like No
one's lips actually look like this in real life, Like
I'm sorry, that's like natural. I think it's so toxic,
(16:37):
and that is one thing that I'm trying so hard
to like cut out. This year is like a lot
of social media because I find myself doing the same
thing and to like grow and pursue the life I want.
I can't sit here and be like, well, I wish
I was like this hairstylist, or I wish I did this,
or I wish I looked like that, because at the
end of the day, like what you do and what
(16:59):
you look like, I doesn't fucking matter, like at all.
Like I'm not gonna remember so and so because they
were so handsome. No, I'm gonna remember you because you
were like the most genuine sweetest, kindest, giving, thoughtful, loving person.
That's what I'm gonna remember. Jealousy, I personally feel like
(17:19):
I don't have a jealous friend in my body. But
I'm very content with myself, Like I'm very worthy of myself,
Like I know exactly what I'm worth, I know exactly
what I want. I just need help getting there. I
feel like a lot of girls my age struggle with this.
(17:42):
I see it a lot in friendships, and it's really sad,
like how going to work and like friend groups will
be talking and like different whatever, and I never say anything.
But it's just like the reality of it, and I'm
just a good space to vent to. I mean, it's
just me and you staring at each other in the
RC like i'd be talking to. I don't know, guys,
(18:13):
I'm really just on this like healing wellness journey at
the moment, I guess. I don't know, like this grief
even go away with time. I don't know. I feel
like at some point you just kind of forget what
you're grieving over because it's like never that serious. And
that is a line I will die on, like it
(18:36):
is never that real. It is never that serious, like
get yourself up in the morning, do what you have
to do, get ready for the day, eat something like,
it is never that real. And I have very quickly
come to learn this, especially going through a breakup, which
maybe the next time, maybe the next time I do
(18:58):
a podcast by myself, I'll like do a deep dive
into that, but I just genuinely feel like I just
kind of forget. And I really even hate that because
right now I feel like I'm almost set back because
I don't feel much of anything in there, Like I
(19:21):
don't even know how to feel. I don't know what
to do, I don't know who to text. It's like
the weirdest like mind fucking feeling ever. It's crazy, to
be honest, I feel like going back to the deep
(19:43):
dive the original topic. I truly think everyone needs time
for themselves to really figure out who they are. It's
very hard to do it in a relationship. Not saying
it's not possible, because it is, and Brin's doing it.
(20:04):
She's been with the same guy for years and they're
married and like they're going and evolving together. But I
do think that that is a definition of like true
highest potential soulmate that you could ever get, and I
just don't think that's where everyone. BRIT's not the party type.
Brenda doesn't go out. I love to have a good
(20:24):
time like Brigham toe to toe. I have no self
control Brenda's and that's what I like look for in friends,
and that is what I try and look for in myself.
And I think you are exactly who you hang around,
and that is why I hang around brand Brindan's the
closest person to me. Like Rena and I are very similar.
(20:48):
It's scary, like Jackie Allison, like Heather Ansel, like I.
Just you just need to surround yourself with good, uplifting,
calm people that also match your energy, because at the
end of the day, if you're hanging around this persona
that you don't want to be, is going to be
very hard not to fall into that. And that is
(21:10):
why I'm trying to like deep dive and really figure
out who I am and we these fucking people out
of my life and just like keep on moving. I
don't know. I feel like everyone goes through it, honestly,
and I feel like right now, I'm just not ready
for my soulmate. Circling back to Brinn, I just think
(21:34):
it depends on what kind of person you are and
what you need out of life and out of yourself.
And I do better learning alone, even though as much
as I hate to be alone, I do my best
learning and figuring it out by myself. So honestly, Like, no,
I didn't want to be heartbroke to like spiral into
(21:56):
the deep dive because I started this step dive like
months ago and I was just like going through the motions.
But now that like I have nobody here holding me back,
and I have like no one here that I have
to actually give attention in time to, I've really just
been spiraling into what like who even am I honestly,
(22:17):
And I'm not having like an identity crisis, like I
kind of know the gist, but I just think like
this is just like another chapter like opening for me,
and I don't know where to go. Like I have
a career, I have all the things I do whatever,
So now I'm just trying to figure out like where
to go from here, and like what to do from here.
(22:40):
I guess I don't know. Anyways, Guys, I hope someone
took something out of this or listen, like listening to
my recipe. Boys. But to next week, like I said,
we'll just be brand I need to go to work.
I don't even know what time it is, to be
quite honest with you, you and then from there we
(23:04):
will be back on track. Fingers crossed. But I hope
everyone has a great week. I hope everyone's beginning of
May goes so well. April has drug us all through
the trenches and back, and I hope you all enjoyed listening,
(23:26):
so we'll see you next time. Jump it to the
Fading Elly
Hi everybody, So we're back with another pod. It is
just me today, Heather, Britt and I are really fucking slacking,
not even slacking, like life is just whopping our asses.
To be completely honest, I sound like a man today.
I have the worst allergies, like you can literally stay
(00:22):
in my face, so living for that today is also
a very special day. I'm feeling this on April twenty second,
which is Brinn's twenty first birthday, and she's in Hawaii
still for any of our new listeners, and I'm stuck
in fucking Pa. But I genuinely don't know what I
(00:47):
would do without her and her friendship. Like She's always
been so kind and so level headed and just who
everyone wants to be, like the face card lethal like
she hands down is the best person I've ever met
my whole entire life. And I wish I could be
studying this with Ebren. But we'll have our time to
celebrate when you come home. But I love our friendship
(01:13):
to death. Duh, whondever I we a podcast together? Okay, anyways,
back to the original whatever we're doing here. So recently,
I've been like soul searching if anyone has been listening
(01:35):
since like our very first few podcasts, my New Year's
resolution was to start going to therapy. For like many reasons,
I do think therapy is good. I really just wanted
to go to like be the best version I possibly
could be of myself. Like I'm growing up, I have
a career, Like I'm doing all the things I just
(01:55):
like need like a little like push whatever, So just
rising above and pushing through. Okay, anyways, so I'm talking
about two topics today. We're gonna kind of try and
make this like shorter and sweeter. I am partially ready
(02:17):
for work, is what I'm doing this morning. Typically when
I can't find something to wear or I just like
can't do this, like I'm just like a I like
tired of getting ready for work. Is when I sit
down in film. So this week will just be me.
Next week should just be Brend and then we should
(02:37):
like be back on track. This time difference is killing us,
like every time we get and sit down to film,
it's just like somethings. Literally something is always going on,
some crazy thing. Okay, So I did take some notes today,
Like when I say I took notes, like I took
some notes because I the last way is by myself.
(03:03):
I could talk, I could talk all day long. I
can talk about anything. When I have to sit here
and talk to myself, I'm like, I don't know what
to do. I don't know what to talk about. I
don't know how to talk about myself. So I'm just
like not very good at like sitting here and like speaking.
So for whoever has a podcast like solo, props to you,
(03:23):
because I couldn't. There's no way. So let's start by
things I've been learning about myself. So recently, I have
gone through the worst heartbreak and my whole entire life
other than like Brian leaving, but like real like breakup heartbreak,
(03:47):
and I haven't spoke much about it at all. I
don't really plan to speak on it on here, to
be honest, because I'm embarrassed. So we're gonna like deep
dive into that a little bit today. And I don't
really know where this is supposed to take me, to
be honest, We're just trying to get there, Okay. So
(04:12):
lately I've been noticing some patterns about myself. Uh, and
some are so funny and like so great and like
others are just so uncomfy. So today's little podcast podcast
episode is just like what I've been like picking up
for myself. So a few of my friends, they have
(04:38):
asked me to teach them how to be how I am,
And honestly, I just don't think it's something to be taught.
I just think it's how my brain is, like wired.
I'm so like out of sight, out of mind. I
can hold a grudge until the day that I drop
over dead, like I can forgive, I will never forget.
(04:59):
Like I mean, like I am not a girl's girl
when it comes to like girls being mean, or girls
like trying to wigg away their way into relationships, or
just like girls on social media that are like fake
as fuck, Like I just like can't be around that.
I don't care for it. If it comes to like
my friends, I will I would die for my friends,
(05:23):
like I will lie, I will steal, I will cheat,
I will do what I have to do for my friends.
But I would never do that to like another girl,
Like I would never just be like, oh, you're random,
like I'm gonna like ride or die for you now.
But I'm also like not gonna go fuck your boyfriend either.
So I just like don't care about girls that like
aren't like right here to me. So that's just like
(05:45):
something I can't teach. So, for example, the other day,
I had gotten a text message from a certain somebody
while Alison was at my house, and I'm just like
sitting there like replying, like cooking something up up here,
and Alison's like, I want to text so and so
like help me text him, and I'm like okay, So
I'm telling her like all these great things to text him,
(06:08):
all these like crazy insane like you're annoying, but like
I missed you, like just like these crazy like like
crazy and then we start like chat gbting and she's
like no, I just can't. I'm just so nice. I'm like,
but you're like too nice. So she asked him how
his fucking Easter there was, and I was like so disappointed,
but like whatever. So I just like I think it's
(06:32):
just like how I am and how my personality is.
I come off like very strong, like very thick skald
like I just come off like very bold, like I
just have a very certain type of personality that like
you're not going to get anything past me. And I
think girls are just really scared to stand up to girls,
but to guys. And I'm not scared of anybody. So
(06:56):
that's one thing I've learned about myself. Something I've learned
about myself and relationships is I will empty my cup
to fill up someone else's friendships relationships, like my relationship
with my brother, Like I will do anything I possibly
(07:16):
can in my power to help and support somebody. But
once I've had enough, like I've just had enough, and
I will never speak to you again. I'll never even
speak on your name, good or bad. I just don't care.
Like out of sight, out of mind is like the
best way I could describe my personality. Like I haven't
(07:36):
seen my mom in three years, but if I saw her,
like I'd probably have a mental breakdown, but like it's
out of sight, like it's out of mind, like I
don't actually care, but like if things started coming back,
like then I care. I think that is normal though,
but I don't know. So why am I learning these
things about myself? So to be honest, I'm like self aware,
(08:00):
but I think I'm almost too self aware because I'm
scared of becoming like this persona that's like not me
and not staying true to myself. So I'm just trying
to figure out like solely truly like who I am
and like what I want out of this life, and
going to therapy has really helped me discover what path
(08:22):
I want to be on. So that's just kind of why.
But I feel like everyone needs to be like self
aware and like really like soul search and like dig
deep because like no one else is going to do
it for you, like at all, like never. And the
(08:43):
last thing that I learned, and I learned this from
I went to Georgia like a week and a half ago.
I shadowed this celebrity stylist and I was like, if
you were twenty one again, what would you tell your
younger self? And she was like, give yourself grace, Like
it's okay to fail. That's exactly how you learn, Like
(09:04):
it's okay to do X, Y and Z, live your life,
focus on your career like this wholy spill. And I
was like, oh my god, Like I've obviously heard the
that before and I know that, but just hearing it
from somebody so iconic she was an icon just really
put it into perspective for me that just because you
(09:26):
have this huge following and career and money, like doesn't
mean you have to be so like ungraceful and ungrateful
and just a bitch. So knowing that she fails and
that's why she's where she is to be so successful
like gives me grace essentially, so more of the story
(09:56):
his I genuinely don't like to be a lo I
fear we all know this, even if I'm just like
sitting there with like a friend, like not talking. I
hate to be alone, which is something I'm trying to
work on because I hold myself back in so many
areas because I'm like, Okay, well I can't do it
by myself. I don't want to do by myself, and
(10:17):
resting is being productive. I feel like I need to
like go go, go, go go at all times, and
like I just like need to relax, I see, like
take a chill pill, because you don't always have to
be doing something to be productive. I also try to
escape the present all the time and like dream about
my future and dream about my career and where I'm
(10:40):
going to end up and who I'm going to marry
and what kids and pets and house and states and
all the whole thing, which is very not me because
I'm very typey, but sometimes I like dwell on the future,
especially if something like huge in my life is happening,
I'm like, oh my god, like I need to know
(11:00):
what the outcome of this is going to be before
I throw up, which honestly isn't always the case. I
just like need to accept the present and what I'm
here for now because at some point, like this is
all going to be over and I'm gonna want to
be back here and the worst way like being at home,
living at home, having like no bills and no responsibility.
(11:25):
So I think like allowing yourself to just go with
the flow can be good. I don't say I'm a
control freak, but like maybe I don't know. So our
next topic is what is Brent? I'm struggling. Our next
(11:50):
topic my, oh my god, Okay, my next topic is
I what I wish people talked about. So this kind
of circles back to like conversations and thoughts and feelings
and growing up, I just could never be vulnerable, Like
(12:13):
I could never cry. It was always like what are
you crying about? Like I'll give you something to cry about.
Like I could just never be upset. I could never
feel my feelings, so I feel like this is almost
like a little taboo because I feel like in high school,
at least me personally, no one could be vulnerable. Nobody
(12:34):
like you missed your ex boyfriend your shit out of
lute because you're not texting him, because you can't let
him know that he has the upperhand, even like different
situations that you just like can't admit you're wrong. That
was me, like literally three years ago, like two or
three years ago. I just like couldn't grasp the fact
(12:54):
that I was a human being that had feelings and
that I could tell people how I felt without it
being like this whole production. I think at the time
it was more just like you're scared of being judged.
And now that I'm like growing and maturing and trying
to figure out who I am, I think it's okay
to be vulnerable and to tell people like exactly how
(13:18):
you feel and to just pour love into people, because
I genuinely believe that love given is not love loss.
And I've said that on here so many times, like
so many times, like sometimes people just need you for
your love and they're not supposed to be in your
life forever, which is okay, Like you're supposed to like
(13:40):
outgrow people and like move on. So I feel like
what we put out there comes back multiplied. So even
just like being nice to somebody just because, like I
feel like you just don't have to feel vulnerable all
(14:01):
the time. And recently I have really learned this going
through a breakup, Like I definitely have been vulnerable for
a while. I can like sit here and tell people
like exactly how I feel, like exactly what I need
from you, and like not be like, oh my god,
I'm like such a pussy for this, Like they're gonna
take this and make fun of me. Like if you
(14:23):
tell someone your feelings and they turn around and push
it right back in your face and make fun of you,
they are not the kind of person you want around
like at all, Like if they're not emotionally mature enough
and capable to grasp the fact that they are hurting
your feelings or even just like you like spewing love
to them and they just like don't understand that, like
(14:43):
they're probably not the person for you. I think that's
where like just maturity comes in, and some people just
aren't mature, and some relationships are meant to end, and
it is okay for you to outgrow friends, family, boyfriend girlfriends,
like it is fine, and if that is one thing
I've learned this last year, like I will be okay
(15:06):
out growing these people, because once one door closes, another opened,
and I genuinely think that there will always be someone.
And I hate to say better, but like better, Like
I'm sure there's better than me out there. There's better
than my ex boyfriend's out there. I think you change
and evolve and really like mesh when you meet like
(15:28):
your soulmate, where you guys can grow together. So it's
not really like, oh, he was better than he was
because of X, Y and Z and he did this
and he didn't do that. I just mean like better,
as in better for you and where you're at right
now in your life and maybe things can circle back around,
but not really counting on it. So I personally spend
(15:56):
a lot of time on social media, which is the
most toxic thing I could probably ever do for myself.
I just think social media is so fake. These girls
are fake personally, Like I have fake lips, I have
fake boobs, I get my lashes, nails, and I get this.
(16:17):
I get all this stuff done, and people like you're
so pretty, and I'm the first one to tell you,
like it's all fake. It is all fake, Like, yes,
I'm naturally pretty, but no one actually looks like No
one's lips actually look like this in real life, Like
I'm sorry, that's like natural. I think it's so toxic,
(16:37):
and that is one thing that I'm trying so hard
to like cut out. This year is like a lot
of social media because I find myself doing the same
thing and to like grow and pursue the life I want.
I can't sit here and be like, well, I wish
I was like this hairstylist, or I wish I did this,
or I wish I looked like that, because at the
end of the day, like what you do and what
(16:59):
you look like, I doesn't fucking matter, like at all.
Like I'm not gonna remember so and so because they
were so handsome. No, I'm gonna remember you because you
were like the most genuine sweetest, kindest, giving, thoughtful, loving person.
That's what I'm gonna remember. Jealousy, I personally feel like
(17:19):
I don't have a jealous friend in my body. But
I'm very content with myself, Like I'm very worthy of myself,
Like I know exactly what I'm worth, I know exactly
what I want. I just need help getting there. I
feel like a lot of girls my age struggle with this.
(17:42):
I see it a lot in friendships, and it's really sad,
like how going to work and like friend groups will
be talking and like different whatever, and I never say anything.
But it's just like the reality of it, and I'm
just a good space to vent to. I mean, it's
just me and you staring at each other in the
RC like i'd be talking to. I don't know, guys,
(18:13):
I'm really just on this like healing wellness journey at
the moment, I guess. I don't know, like this grief
even go away with time. I don't know. I feel
like at some point you just kind of forget what
you're grieving over because it's like never that serious. And
that is a line I will die on, like it
(18:36):
is never that real. It is never that serious, like
get yourself up in the morning, do what you have
to do, get ready for the day, eat something like,
it is never that real. And I have very quickly
come to learn this, especially going through a breakup, which
maybe the next time, maybe the next time I do
(18:58):
a podcast by myself, I'll like do a deep dive
into that, but I just genuinely feel like I just
kind of forget. And I really even hate that because
right now I feel like I'm almost set back because
I don't feel much of anything in there, Like I
(19:21):
don't even know how to feel. I don't know what
to do, I don't know who to text. It's like
the weirdest like mind fucking feeling ever. It's crazy, to
be honest, I feel like going back to the deep
(19:43):
dive the original topic. I truly think everyone needs time
for themselves to really figure out who they are. It's
very hard to do it in a relationship. Not saying
it's not possible, because it is, and Brin's doing it.
(20:04):
She's been with the same guy for years and they're
married and like they're going and evolving together. But I
do think that that is a definition of like true
highest potential soulmate that you could ever get, and I
just don't think that's where everyone. BRIT's not the party type.
Brenda doesn't go out. I love to have a good
(20:24):
time like Brigham toe to toe. I have no self
control Brenda's and that's what I like look for in friends,
and that is what I try and look for in myself.
And I think you are exactly who you hang around,
and that is why I hang around brand Brindan's the
closest person to me. Like Rena and I are very similar.
(20:48):
It's scary, like Jackie Allison, like Heather Ansel, like I.
Just you just need to surround yourself with good, uplifting,
calm people that also match your energy, because at the
end of the day, if you're hanging around this persona
that you don't want to be, is going to be
very hard not to fall into that. And that is
(21:10):
why I'm trying to like deep dive and really figure
out who I am and we these fucking people out
of my life and just like keep on moving. I
don't know. I feel like everyone goes through it, honestly,
and I feel like right now, I'm just not ready
for my soulmate. Circling back to Brinn, I just think
(21:34):
it depends on what kind of person you are and
what you need out of life and out of yourself.
And I do better learning alone, even though as much
as I hate to be alone, I do my best
learning and figuring it out by myself. So honestly, Like, no,
I didn't want to be heartbroke to like spiral into
(21:56):
the deep dive because I started this step dive like
months ago and I was just like going through the motions.
But now that like I have nobody here holding me back,
and I have like no one here that I have
to actually give attention in time to, I've really just
been spiraling into what like who even am I honestly,
(22:17):
And I'm not having like an identity crisis, like I
kind of know the gist, but I just think like
this is just like another chapter like opening for me,
and I don't know where to go. Like I have
a career, I have all the things I do whatever,
So now I'm just trying to figure out like where
to go from here, and like what to do from here.
(22:40):
I guess I don't know. Anyways, Guys, I hope someone
took something out of this or listen, like listening to
my recipe. Boys. But to next week, like I said,
we'll just be brand I need to go to work.
I don't even know what time it is, to be
quite honest with you, you and then from there we
(23:04):
will be back on track. Fingers crossed. But I hope
everyone has a great week. I hope everyone's beginning of
May goes so well. April has drug us all through
the trenches and back, and I hope you all enjoyed listening,
(23:26):
so we'll see you next time. Jump it to the
Fading Elly
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