March 19, 2025 • 25 mins
We are back for another week!!
If you guys have not checked out our podcast from last week, definitely go listen. Chatting each week helps us stay connected from 5,000 miles away! Talking about our lives, trends, or even the latest gossip! We normally pick 3 different topics and start yapping!
This week’s podcast is a little different.. It's just Bryn! We suck at our time change sometimes and this week it got the best of us! Bryn talks a little about the military life and everything someone who could be entering it could experience. We hope you guys enjoy, and don’t forget to reach out on social media with feedback!!
Thanks for listening !!
TikTok: RingHerUP
Instagram: Ringherup_
If you guys have not checked out our podcast from last week, definitely go listen. Chatting each week helps us stay connected from 5,000 miles away! Talking about our lives, trends, or even the latest gossip! We normally pick 3 different topics and start yapping!
This week’s podcast is a little different.. It's just Bryn! We suck at our time change sometimes and this week it got the best of us! Bryn talks a little about the military life and everything someone who could be entering it could experience. We hope you guys enjoy, and don’t forget to reach out on social media with feedback!!
Thanks for listening !!
TikTok: RingHerUP
Instagram: Ringherup_
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
All right, guys, it's a little different today. It's just me,
little setup, a little different setup basically because I suck
and I could not make the time work this Monday
with Heather. So it's just me. Yes, so bear with me.
I pause, hold on, Okay, so yes, just me and
(00:23):
I debated even recording a podcast, but I am so
And the only reason I decided to do this today
is because I actually had someone come up to me.
Cut that out, because I don't even know what I'm
saying right now. Oh my gosh. I actually had a
(00:45):
person DM me ask me a military question. Actually it
was two military questions. So I figured, you know, I
couldn't make times work this week. It's just gonna be me.
I'll just do that. Because Heather doesn't know much about
the military life right now, she is going into it
(01:06):
and maybe, honestly, this could help her, and this could
help anyone else out there that is in this season
of life or is going towards this era of their
life as a military spouse, or even if you're just
a girlfriend, you still have to juggle. You still have
(01:27):
to juggle all of the consequences as a spouse. Most
of the consequences so yeah, that's what this week is
going to be on. I don't know how long it's
going to be. I'm getting to use those two questions.
I'm going to answer them from that girl that reached out.
(01:49):
And I'm also I actually looked up the most recent
or most common questions when it comes to military spouse
is military anything for people who aren't understanding? So yes,
(02:14):
this week's episode of Bring Her Up is very different
and it's I'm gonna say this way, but it's fine.
The first question that I got I need to like
set up. The first question that I got was how
do you deal with them being gone? And how do
you cope with your emotions? Mike's job because and let
(02:37):
me throw this out there, my husband has not been
in the military for twenty years. I'm still very into this.
But for people that are just going into this and
just experiencing some of these things, I'm going to help
if I can. That's all I'm trying to do here
is help. I'm not an expert, so if I say
(02:58):
something wrong, then don't come for me, because this is
just from my understanding and how I deal with things
and how I see the military and how you know,
I figure some things out, so how to deal with
them being gone and your emotions. To be fair, I
don't think anyone ever truly figures this out because no
(03:19):
matter what, with them being gone, it sucks. I'm just
gonna be honest, It one hundred percent sucks. No one
wants to do it, no one wants to be alone.
And for me personally, it's just me. I don't have kids,
I don't have pets, ethan, I'm trying to get a dog,
(03:41):
but that's not the point. It's just me. So you know,
when they're gone, it's quiet, it's very at least in
my house, it's very quiet. It's almost deafening. How like,
it's gets very obnoxious with it being so quiet. And yeah,
so I don't think that there are any right answers
(04:01):
for how to deal with them like emotionally being gone,
because you are going to go through roller coasters where
some days you're okay, some days it's gonna hit you
like a freaking mac trap, and some days you're just
gonna be completely numb to it. Think, no matter what,
(04:22):
how many times do you go through it of them
leaving and being alone, you're always going to go through
these roller coasters. They especially think the first week of
them being gone is always the hardest. You know, you
have to push through those first couple of days, the
first week, because as time goes on, you start getting
your own rhythm, you start coping with the fact that, Okay,
(04:45):
yes they're gone. I need to continue on with my life.
This is like reality and I can't do anything about it.
So yeah, So, like I said, yes, push through the
first week. And in all honesty, you just need to
have your own schedule and you need to see it
as an opportunity to focus on yourself, focus on your goals.
(05:09):
You have a clear path of just yourself while they're gone.
Focus on yourself, focus on your goals, work out, move
your body. You just need to stay busy. And I
don't know what that was. What was that an email?
Stay busy, keep your body moving. One thing for me
When my husband was at a training last the last
(05:34):
couple months and I was alone for quite some time,
I started consistently going to the gym. And I'm not
saying like before I would work out, i'd give on runs.
I would. I wasn't not doing things, but I made
it a set schedule to go to the gym every
(05:55):
single morning at almost the same time every morning, and
that has truly helped me so much. And I'm not
saying you have to go to the gym. I'm just
saying make a schedule, stick to the schedule, and I
think that just truly makes your time and helps your
head stay where it needs to be. That can you
can do anything of the sort. You can just go
(06:20):
on walks in the morning, or get up and go
to a coffee shop. Because I found it that I
was going to the gym Monday through Friday, and I
was good throughout the week. I was good, I was busy,
I was moving, and then I'd take the weekends off.
Saturday and Sunday I would he off, and I hated
the weekends. Hated it, like the weekends would drag so
(06:42):
much while he was gone, and it's I truly think
it's because I wasn't working out. My morning would be
so slow, I wouldn't do anything, and it was just like,
why is this happening? Why the weekends are normally like
something you look forward too. You're not hustling, you can relax,
but I just couldn't do it. So you need to
(07:04):
stay busy, you need to find a schedule. You need
to find those things and do them, and that's what's
going to make the time fly. You need to find
a community that is going to push you to do
those things so you can't just sit in your bed
and wallow in self pity, even though we would all
like to. And I'm going to be completely honest when
(07:26):
it comes to the emotional part. Obviously, staying busy is
going to help with that. But we're all gonna lay
in bed at night, We're all gonna sit here and
think about how they're not here, and all you want
to do is talk to them, and all you want
to do is lay here with them. Wish they were home,
(07:46):
which you could watch your favorite TV shows together, Wish
you could do that. Wish you could at least sit
here and watch them play their game, even though it
pisses you off on their home anyway. You know, like
those things are always going to be in your head
whenever you're not busy about to fall asleep at night,
and I don't think there's anything that can stop those thoughts.
(08:08):
It's unfortunately part of the life of being in the
military or having a husband in the military. I will
say and like I said, you don't have to do this,
but it's it did help me, helping me with those thoughts.
At night, I would sit in bed and read. I
(08:29):
have a kindle. I would find a book and I
would start reading. And I got into this book. I
really got into this book kind of towards the end
of his training, so I wish I would have started
at the beginning. But I would actually look forward to
my nights, whereas before then I wouldn't because I'd just
sit there and i'd be really upset. I'd want him home.
(08:51):
But I would actually look forward to my nights now
because i'd get to read my book, and you know,
that was my something to look forward to, and I'd
probably stay up later than I needed to reading, and
when I was done reading, i'd quite literally pass out. So,
like I said, you just need to find your hobbies,
find ways to keep your mind busy. Those are just
(09:13):
a few my hobbies that I'm doing. I live in
a little beach town, so I could have more hobbies
than I could probably list, but I choose to sit
in my house and be miserable because my husband's gone.
And I think that's normal. I think it's so normal.
You're not always going to be happy, You're not always
(09:33):
going to be in the great headspace that you want.
But at the end of the day, we love them,
we stick through it. There is an end day. We
will make it. Start a countdown, Start a countdown. All right,
So I think that's all I got for that topic. Okay,
(09:53):
next question is this person's significant other actually at least
for boot camp soon and and they want to know
all about it. How they dealt with not having contact
for three almost said three weeks, three months and the
day of graduation. Okay, so boot camp. I'm gonna be
completely honest. Boot Camp is something I didn't even go
(10:17):
to boot camp. And I'm saying this as if I
went to boot camp, but boot camp is something I
never want to go through ever. Again, not gonna lie
the letters. The letters were very meaningful to me. I
think it was a change obviously in our communication. It
was very hard, very hard. I tried to write every
single day and not gonna lie that like drain me
(10:38):
because I don't want to. You never want to write
like something small and little. You always want to write
like as much as you can. And then I just
kind of ran out of things to talk about. But yeah,
no boot camp was. It was something else. So let
me think. I vividly remember the day that he left. Well,
we dropped him off. I was with his parents, dropped
(10:59):
him off. Cried the whole way home. Don't be afraid
to cry, because let me tell you, I cried the
whole car ride home. I cried from his house driving
home to my house. I cried when I got to
my house in my bed that night, and then probably
cried every single day for the next week, and who
(11:22):
even knows how many more times after that. But I
cried a lot. I was really upset because before bootcamp,
me and he spent a lot of time together. Obviously
we knew he was leaving, so we were trying to
make every minute count. And now my best friend just left.
So let of crying happened. But I will say what
(11:43):
helped me is he left in July, the beginning of July,
so it was still summer. I was going on vacations,
I was keeping myself busy, I was in college, I
was playing college volleyball. I had the best friends and
support system while he was gone, and that truly helps
so much people realizing what you're going through realizing it's
(12:06):
not easy, trying to keep you busy, trying to make
you smile when it's really hard. That's that's truly what's
going to get you through. But let me tell you
the day you received your first letter from them, it's
like Christmas freaking morning. I remember, I was walking my dog.
(12:28):
We went on a walk. I checked the mailbox. Me
and Cratos went for a walk every single day and
we checked the mailbox together see if anything was new
in there. And it's funny because I check the mailbox
every day, but I knew that I wasn't getting letters
for probably two weeks, Like I'd get one and then
I have to wake like a week and a half,
(12:51):
two weeks, but I'd still check every day. You never
knew anyway, So I was. I was a walking crater.
We were checking the mailbox and I see, I see
this letter. I see the letter. I could have cried,
but it's funny because I checked the mailbox on our
way to our walk. We didn't even finish our walk,
(13:13):
got the mail and turned my ass around and went
back home. Creator was probably really upset with me. But
I need to sit in my bed and hysterically bawl
my eyes out while reading this letter. So that's something
to look forward to your first letter. Honestly, every letter
I looked forward to. Letters so much got me through
(13:35):
boot camp as well, and honestly telling him about my
day was getting me through as well, just knowing that
that was my way of communicating to him, hoping that
I was making his day a little bit better by
giving him letters. Whatever, it's great. So yeah, stay busy,
go with your friends. It's like the whole you know
them being gone again, except you can't text them or
(13:59):
call them or FaceTime. It's strictly letters. Ooh ooh. And
then the Crucible happens. Now this is strictly for Marines.
Every other branch is going to be different, but this
is my experience for the Marines. The Crucible will happen,
(14:22):
which is basically their last big assignment type thing in
boot camp that officially makes them Marines, and they'll get
their EGA after the Crucible when they finished, and if
they're good after the Crucible, they could get their phone
back that Sunday or honestly whenever, because he was supposed
(14:44):
to get them back that Sunday and didn't, and it
happened to be like a Tuesday or something that he
ended up texting me, I think, and I like lost
my shit, this mother effort, texts me what did he
text me? Did you miss me? The fuck? I'm sorry?
(15:04):
What kind of question is that? And how is that gonna?
How is that or why is that what you're starting with?
Freaked out, screamed, I was in a bowling league. I
was actually in my bowling league when he texted me.
I was currently bowling and I got the notification through
my Apple Watch that he text me, and I had
(15:25):
to quit bowling. I had to go. I think I
went and called him. I really said screw bowling because
that was not important in the moment. So yeah, I
got to talk to him a little bit then, And honestly,
he has two more weeks after the crucibol I believe
two or three, two, I don't know, something like that.
Periodically through those weeks he got his phone back and
we'd text a little bit and talk. It was just
(15:47):
so amazing to like have conversation, even though it feels
so weird because you haven't talked to them in probably
over two months, and it's like, how are you doing?
Like what do you say. It's it is a little awkward,
like you kind of don't know how to act, but
I don't know. So yeah, then you know, you go
down to graduation. You have what is it family day?
(16:10):
Family day, and like actual graduation, so you'll get to
watch them. No family day comes first, they'll do their
own little thing. You can watch them. Then you meet
up with them. Amazing, so great, literally so weird too,
especially because he was bald. I don't know about y'all,
but he had a decent had a hair on him
(16:35):
before he left for boot camp. So seeing not even
seeing him bad, but like feeling his head and there
being nothing there was very weird. So yeah, that happens,
and you get to see it. You get to have
them for a couple hours, I think, and then they
have to go back. Quick little teaser, I guess, because
that's literally just how the military is. So yeah, they
(16:57):
go back, and then the next day they have the graduation.
I think, listen, it's been a minute either way, they
do the ceremony. After the ceremony, you can officially take
your marine home. And let me tell you the most
(17:18):
wild thing to ever experience. I kind of wish everyone
could experience that once in their life, but then you
end up dealing with what I'm dealing with right now,
So it's fine. So, yeah, there's that. I wish we
would have flew, but no, we drove the whole way home,
which wasn't bad honestly, because like that was some of
(17:39):
missed time we got to spend with him, and you know,
and I also do remember us being home and he
just truly didn't know how to act. So get ready
for that one. You'll learn all the million things that
he did in boot camp. You'll learn the songs that
they sang. You'll learn so much stuff. And then at
(18:00):
the crack acid on five o'clock hits for whatever time
it is, they're up and at them because that's what
their life was like for the last three months. And
they're going to be antsy all over the house because
they don't know how to sit still and absolutely do
nothing because they're not used to that. So just prepare
yourself for the antsiness. Ye. So yeah, that's boot camp
(18:25):
in a nutshell. I'm going to do one more question
for military and then I'm gonna wrap this up because
I'm sure you guys, most people don't give two shits
about the military life. But you know there are some
people out there, like the person that decided that they
needed help and texting me. Okay, let's say one more question.
(18:50):
The next one I could find that I could give
my best advice on is schoolhouse and kind of what
life is like while they're in schoolhouse. So theysicly schoolhouse
is after they do the training that every single marine
has to do, they get shipped to a schoolhouse and
that's where they're going to learn their job that they're
(19:10):
going to be doing initially, So not gonna lie. They're
gonna be very busy in schoolhouse. And depending on the
school house or depending on your significant others mos, it
changes time wise. So luckily my husband's was roughly only
a two month I think, or maybe three month school
(19:34):
schooling process, where others can be almost a year, I believe.
And if you're married and the schoolhouse is longer than
I want to say, like six months, maybe nine months,
I don't know. If it's like a very long period
of time, look into it. I know you can go
with them to the schoolhouse, but if it's anything probably
(19:57):
shorter than six months, they're not gonna ship spouses or
kids or families with their significant other to the schoolhouse.
So yes, it is getting to be a very busy
period of time for them, and it's gonna be annoying because,
like I said, I think my husband's school house was
only supposed to be a three month long period, but
(20:20):
he was there for probably five months. He was there
for quite some time because the school house was backed up,
and even though it's backed up, they're just gonna leave
them there to do god who knows what while they're
not progressing in their own timeline. So yes, that was
(20:43):
probably the most frustrating thing for me is you know,
I'm trying to build my future with him. I'm trying
to figure my life out, and the military's kind of
just like, we're in no rush to get you your
schooling blue, but you can visit them while they're in schoolhouse. Unfortunately,
(21:05):
for my husband, I think his whole platoon whatever, I
don't know what it was exactly, his group of people,
they were in trouble in most the whole time. Actually
they were in trouble I think the whole time he
was in schoolhouse. So he didn't get his liberty that
he was allowed to stay off base with me. When
(21:26):
I was there, he was allowed off base for the day,
which was great. We made our days useful, I guess
and whatever. But you know I had to return him
come at eight o'clock at night and then go pick
him back up at eight o'clock in the morning. So
tell your significant others to be good or else you'll
(21:49):
get no benefit from the schoolhouse and they will have
I don't know if this is every single job, but
at least certain jobs. From the morning from Monday to Friday,
when they're in their schooling, they cannot have their phones.
So from almost I think eight o'clock in the morning
(22:10):
every day when he left for school to probably around four,
I did not talk to him. And then the evenings
he'd get home tired, we talk a little bit. And
it's the same thing every single every single day. And
if you're gonna go visit them, you really only have
a Saturday and Sunday because Monday through Friday they're very
(22:33):
busy unless you plan on staying and banking on the evenings.
But I'm pretty sure in the evenings they can't even
do much because they have formation in the evening and
they got to be back on base. You know, it's
so busy you find little time to be with them.
It's crazy. Schoolhouse is a pain in the ass. I
(22:54):
will admit I hated that time period of life because
it really was just a waiting game. And at that
point we were waiting also to find out where Firs
study station was, and we were we couldn't find that
out until he at least started school. So I'm just
sitting back at home like la da da da da,
(23:16):
trying to act like everything's fine. And I love to
plan everything down to the bone, and I couldn't plan anything. Yeah,
there's a lot of different things I could talk about
when it comes to the military, and we're just getting
to leave it with those three for right now. But
I'm very grateful for the life I have right now.
I don't want to bash the military and the military
(23:38):
life because the military has given me so many opportunities, honestly,
but in the end of the day, it's hard. It
is hard not having your spouse around all the time,
knowing there can be a curve bomb thrown whenever, or
you know, it's just very frustrating. You have to deal
(24:01):
with that. I guess live laugh love military. I hope
I helped a few people, because navigating this life can
be difficult. I completely understand. I completely understand, But who
knows where I'd be right now if he was not
in the military. Who knows where he would be if
he wasn't in the military. And you know, we wouldn't
(24:23):
have been able to see half the places that we
did if it wasn't for him being in the military.
So it has it has its goods, it has its bads.
You just gotta fight through the bads. I hope you
guys enjoyed this kind of different podcast. Whether we missed you.
(24:45):
I kind of don't like hearing myself talk. Oh my god,
did you hear that? Did you hear my voice crack? Anyway,
Heather missed you? Please come back. I did not like
hearing my voice the whole time, and maybe next time
I will do. Since Heather's kind of going into this,
she probably has more questions that I can't think of
(25:08):
off the top of my head that she would have.
We can do like a Q and A type thing
to help other people out, but it's a living experience
and a learning experience as well. So yeah, that's it
for this week. I hope you guys enjoyed. Talk to
you next week and Heather will be here the drop
(25:29):
it to the Melding Valley
All right, guys, it's a little different today. It's just me,
little setup, a little different setup basically because I suck
and I could not make the time work this Monday
with Heather. So it's just me. Yes, so bear with me.
I pause, hold on, Okay, so yes, just me and
(00:23):
I debated even recording a podcast, but I am so
And the only reason I decided to do this today
is because I actually had someone come up to me.
Cut that out, because I don't even know what I'm
saying right now. Oh my gosh. I actually had a
(00:45):
person DM me ask me a military question. Actually it
was two military questions. So I figured, you know, I
couldn't make times work this week. It's just gonna be me.
I'll just do that. Because Heather doesn't know much about
the military life right now, she is going into it
(01:06):
and maybe, honestly, this could help her, and this could
help anyone else out there that is in this season
of life or is going towards this era of their
life as a military spouse, or even if you're just
a girlfriend, you still have to juggle. You still have
(01:27):
to juggle all of the consequences as a spouse. Most
of the consequences so yeah, that's what this week is
going to be on. I don't know how long it's
going to be. I'm getting to use those two questions.
I'm going to answer them from that girl that reached out.
(01:49):
And I'm also I actually looked up the most recent
or most common questions when it comes to military spouse
is military anything for people who aren't understanding? So yes,
(02:14):
this week's episode of Bring Her Up is very different
and it's I'm gonna say this way, but it's fine.
The first question that I got I need to like
set up. The first question that I got was how
do you deal with them being gone? And how do
you cope with your emotions? Mike's job because and let
(02:37):
me throw this out there, my husband has not been
in the military for twenty years. I'm still very into this.
But for people that are just going into this and
just experiencing some of these things, I'm going to help
if I can. That's all I'm trying to do here
is help. I'm not an expert, so if I say
(02:58):
something wrong, then don't come for me, because this is
just from my understanding and how I deal with things
and how I see the military and how you know,
I figure some things out, so how to deal with
them being gone and your emotions. To be fair, I
don't think anyone ever truly figures this out because no
(03:19):
matter what, with them being gone, it sucks. I'm just
gonna be honest, It one hundred percent sucks. No one
wants to do it, no one wants to be alone.
And for me personally, it's just me. I don't have kids,
I don't have pets, ethan, I'm trying to get a dog,
(03:41):
but that's not the point. It's just me. So you know,
when they're gone, it's quiet, it's very at least in
my house, it's very quiet. It's almost deafening. How like,
it's gets very obnoxious with it being so quiet. And yeah,
so I don't think that there are any right answers
(04:01):
for how to deal with them like emotionally being gone,
because you are going to go through roller coasters where
some days you're okay, some days it's gonna hit you
like a freaking mac trap, and some days you're just
gonna be completely numb to it. Think, no matter what,
(04:22):
how many times do you go through it of them
leaving and being alone, you're always going to go through
these roller coasters. They especially think the first week of
them being gone is always the hardest. You know, you
have to push through those first couple of days, the
first week, because as time goes on, you start getting
your own rhythm, you start coping with the fact that, Okay,
(04:45):
yes they're gone. I need to continue on with my life.
This is like reality and I can't do anything about it.
So yeah, So, like I said, yes, push through the
first week. And in all honesty, you just need to
have your own schedule and you need to see it
as an opportunity to focus on yourself, focus on your goals.
(05:09):
You have a clear path of just yourself while they're gone.
Focus on yourself, focus on your goals, work out, move
your body. You just need to stay busy. And I
don't know what that was. What was that an email?
Stay busy, keep your body moving. One thing for me
When my husband was at a training last the last
(05:34):
couple months and I was alone for quite some time,
I started consistently going to the gym. And I'm not
saying like before I would work out, i'd give on runs.
I would. I wasn't not doing things, but I made
it a set schedule to go to the gym every
(05:55):
single morning at almost the same time every morning, and
that has truly helped me so much. And I'm not
saying you have to go to the gym. I'm just
saying make a schedule, stick to the schedule, and I
think that just truly makes your time and helps your
head stay where it needs to be. That can you
can do anything of the sort. You can just go
(06:20):
on walks in the morning, or get up and go
to a coffee shop. Because I found it that I
was going to the gym Monday through Friday, and I
was good throughout the week. I was good, I was busy,
I was moving, and then I'd take the weekends off.
Saturday and Sunday I would he off, and I hated
the weekends. Hated it, like the weekends would drag so
(06:42):
much while he was gone, and it's I truly think
it's because I wasn't working out. My morning would be
so slow, I wouldn't do anything, and it was just like,
why is this happening? Why the weekends are normally like
something you look forward too. You're not hustling, you can relax,
but I just couldn't do it. So you need to
(07:04):
stay busy, you need to find a schedule. You need
to find those things and do them, and that's what's
going to make the time fly. You need to find
a community that is going to push you to do
those things so you can't just sit in your bed
and wallow in self pity, even though we would all
like to. And I'm going to be completely honest when
(07:26):
it comes to the emotional part. Obviously, staying busy is
going to help with that. But we're all gonna lay
in bed at night, We're all gonna sit here and
think about how they're not here, and all you want
to do is talk to them, and all you want
to do is lay here with them. Wish they were home,
(07:46):
which you could watch your favorite TV shows together, Wish
you could do that. Wish you could at least sit
here and watch them play their game, even though it
pisses you off on their home anyway. You know, like
those things are always going to be in your head
whenever you're not busy about to fall asleep at night,
and I don't think there's anything that can stop those thoughts.
(08:08):
It's unfortunately part of the life of being in the
military or having a husband in the military. I will
say and like I said, you don't have to do this,
but it's it did help me, helping me with those thoughts.
At night, I would sit in bed and read. I
(08:29):
have a kindle. I would find a book and I
would start reading. And I got into this book. I
really got into this book kind of towards the end
of his training, so I wish I would have started
at the beginning. But I would actually look forward to
my nights, whereas before then I wouldn't because I'd just
sit there and i'd be really upset. I'd want him home.
(08:51):
But I would actually look forward to my nights now
because i'd get to read my book, and you know,
that was my something to look forward to, and I'd
probably stay up later than I needed to reading, and
when I was done reading, i'd quite literally pass out. So,
like I said, you just need to find your hobbies,
find ways to keep your mind busy. Those are just
(09:13):
a few my hobbies that I'm doing. I live in
a little beach town, so I could have more hobbies
than I could probably list, but I choose to sit
in my house and be miserable because my husband's gone.
And I think that's normal. I think it's so normal.
You're not always going to be happy, You're not always
(09:33):
going to be in the great headspace that you want.
But at the end of the day, we love them,
we stick through it. There is an end day. We
will make it. Start a countdown, Start a countdown. All right,
So I think that's all I got for that topic. Okay,
(09:53):
next question is this person's significant other actually at least
for boot camp soon and and they want to know
all about it. How they dealt with not having contact
for three almost said three weeks, three months and the
day of graduation. Okay, so boot camp. I'm gonna be
completely honest. Boot Camp is something I didn't even go
(10:17):
to boot camp. And I'm saying this as if I
went to boot camp, but boot camp is something I
never want to go through ever. Again, not gonna lie
the letters. The letters were very meaningful to me. I
think it was a change obviously in our communication. It
was very hard, very hard. I tried to write every
single day and not gonna lie that like drain me
(10:38):
because I don't want to. You never want to write
like something small and little. You always want to write
like as much as you can. And then I just
kind of ran out of things to talk about. But yeah,
no boot camp was. It was something else. So let
me think. I vividly remember the day that he left. Well,
we dropped him off. I was with his parents, dropped
(10:59):
him off. Cried the whole way home. Don't be afraid
to cry, because let me tell you, I cried the
whole car ride home. I cried from his house driving
home to my house. I cried when I got to
my house in my bed that night, and then probably
cried every single day for the next week, and who
(11:22):
even knows how many more times after that. But I
cried a lot. I was really upset because before bootcamp,
me and he spent a lot of time together. Obviously
we knew he was leaving, so we were trying to
make every minute count. And now my best friend just left.
So let of crying happened. But I will say what
(11:43):
helped me is he left in July, the beginning of July,
so it was still summer. I was going on vacations,
I was keeping myself busy, I was in college, I
was playing college volleyball. I had the best friends and
support system while he was gone, and that truly helps
so much people realizing what you're going through realizing it's
(12:06):
not easy, trying to keep you busy, trying to make
you smile when it's really hard. That's that's truly what's
going to get you through. But let me tell you
the day you received your first letter from them, it's
like Christmas freaking morning. I remember, I was walking my dog.
(12:28):
We went on a walk. I checked the mailbox. Me
and Cratos went for a walk every single day and
we checked the mailbox together see if anything was new
in there. And it's funny because I check the mailbox
every day, but I knew that I wasn't getting letters
for probably two weeks, Like I'd get one and then
I have to wake like a week and a half,
(12:51):
two weeks, but I'd still check every day. You never
knew anyway, So I was. I was a walking crater.
We were checking the mailbox and I see, I see
this letter. I see the letter. I could have cried,
but it's funny because I checked the mailbox on our
way to our walk. We didn't even finish our walk,
(13:13):
got the mail and turned my ass around and went
back home. Creator was probably really upset with me. But
I need to sit in my bed and hysterically bawl
my eyes out while reading this letter. So that's something
to look forward to your first letter. Honestly, every letter
I looked forward to. Letters so much got me through
(13:35):
boot camp as well, and honestly telling him about my
day was getting me through as well, just knowing that
that was my way of communicating to him, hoping that
I was making his day a little bit better by
giving him letters. Whatever, it's great. So yeah, stay busy,
go with your friends. It's like the whole you know
them being gone again, except you can't text them or
(13:59):
call them or FaceTime. It's strictly letters. Ooh ooh. And
then the Crucible happens. Now this is strictly for Marines.
Every other branch is going to be different, but this
is my experience for the Marines. The Crucible will happen,
(14:22):
which is basically their last big assignment type thing in
boot camp that officially makes them Marines, and they'll get
their EGA after the Crucible when they finished, and if
they're good after the Crucible, they could get their phone
back that Sunday or honestly whenever, because he was supposed
(14:44):
to get them back that Sunday and didn't, and it
happened to be like a Tuesday or something that he
ended up texting me, I think, and I like lost
my shit, this mother effort, texts me what did he
text me? Did you miss me? The fuck? I'm sorry?
(15:04):
What kind of question is that? And how is that gonna?
How is that or why is that what you're starting with?
Freaked out, screamed, I was in a bowling league. I
was actually in my bowling league when he texted me.
I was currently bowling and I got the notification through
my Apple Watch that he text me, and I had
(15:25):
to quit bowling. I had to go. I think I
went and called him. I really said screw bowling because
that was not important in the moment. So yeah, I
got to talk to him a little bit then, And honestly,
he has two more weeks after the crucibol I believe
two or three, two, I don't know, something like that.
Periodically through those weeks he got his phone back and
we'd text a little bit and talk. It was just
(15:47):
so amazing to like have conversation, even though it feels
so weird because you haven't talked to them in probably
over two months, and it's like, how are you doing?
Like what do you say. It's it is a little awkward,
like you kind of don't know how to act, but
I don't know. So yeah, then you know, you go
down to graduation. You have what is it family day?
(16:10):
Family day, and like actual graduation, so you'll get to
watch them. No family day comes first, they'll do their
own little thing. You can watch them. Then you meet
up with them. Amazing, so great, literally so weird too,
especially because he was bald. I don't know about y'all,
but he had a decent had a hair on him
(16:35):
before he left for boot camp. So seeing not even
seeing him bad, but like feeling his head and there
being nothing there was very weird. So yeah, that happens,
and you get to see it. You get to have
them for a couple hours, I think, and then they
have to go back. Quick little teaser, I guess, because
that's literally just how the military is. So yeah, they
(16:57):
go back, and then the next day they have the graduation.
I think, listen, it's been a minute either way, they
do the ceremony. After the ceremony, you can officially take
your marine home. And let me tell you the most
(17:18):
wild thing to ever experience. I kind of wish everyone
could experience that once in their life, but then you
end up dealing with what I'm dealing with right now,
So it's fine. So, yeah, there's that. I wish we
would have flew, but no, we drove the whole way home,
which wasn't bad honestly, because like that was some of
(17:39):
missed time we got to spend with him, and you know,
and I also do remember us being home and he
just truly didn't know how to act. So get ready
for that one. You'll learn all the million things that
he did in boot camp. You'll learn the songs that
they sang. You'll learn so much stuff. And then at
(18:00):
the crack acid on five o'clock hits for whatever time
it is, they're up and at them because that's what
their life was like for the last three months. And
they're going to be antsy all over the house because
they don't know how to sit still and absolutely do
nothing because they're not used to that. So just prepare
yourself for the antsiness. Ye. So yeah, that's boot camp
(18:25):
in a nutshell. I'm going to do one more question
for military and then I'm gonna wrap this up because
I'm sure you guys, most people don't give two shits
about the military life. But you know there are some
people out there, like the person that decided that they
needed help and texting me. Okay, let's say one more question.
(18:50):
The next one I could find that I could give
my best advice on is schoolhouse and kind of what
life is like while they're in schoolhouse. So theysicly schoolhouse
is after they do the training that every single marine
has to do, they get shipped to a schoolhouse and
that's where they're going to learn their job that they're
(19:10):
going to be doing initially, So not gonna lie. They're
gonna be very busy in schoolhouse. And depending on the
school house or depending on your significant others mos, it
changes time wise. So luckily my husband's was roughly only
a two month I think, or maybe three month school
(19:34):
schooling process, where others can be almost a year, I believe.
And if you're married and the schoolhouse is longer than
I want to say, like six months, maybe nine months,
I don't know. If it's like a very long period
of time, look into it. I know you can go
with them to the schoolhouse, but if it's anything probably
(19:57):
shorter than six months, they're not gonna ship spouses or
kids or families with their significant other to the schoolhouse.
So yes, it is getting to be a very busy
period of time for them, and it's gonna be annoying because,
like I said, I think my husband's school house was
only supposed to be a three month long period, but
(20:20):
he was there for probably five months. He was there
for quite some time because the school house was backed up,
and even though it's backed up, they're just gonna leave
them there to do god who knows what while they're
not progressing in their own timeline. So yes, that was
(20:43):
probably the most frustrating thing for me is you know,
I'm trying to build my future with him. I'm trying
to figure my life out, and the military's kind of
just like, we're in no rush to get you your
schooling blue, but you can visit them while they're in schoolhouse. Unfortunately,
(21:05):
for my husband, I think his whole platoon whatever, I
don't know what it was exactly, his group of people,
they were in trouble in most the whole time. Actually
they were in trouble I think the whole time he
was in schoolhouse. So he didn't get his liberty that
he was allowed to stay off base with me. When
(21:26):
I was there, he was allowed off base for the day,
which was great. We made our days useful, I guess
and whatever. But you know I had to return him
come at eight o'clock at night and then go pick
him back up at eight o'clock in the morning. So
tell your significant others to be good or else you'll
(21:49):
get no benefit from the schoolhouse and they will have
I don't know if this is every single job, but
at least certain jobs. From the morning from Monday to Friday,
when they're in their schooling, they cannot have their phones.
So from almost I think eight o'clock in the morning
(22:10):
every day when he left for school to probably around four,
I did not talk to him. And then the evenings
he'd get home tired, we talk a little bit. And
it's the same thing every single every single day. And
if you're gonna go visit them, you really only have
a Saturday and Sunday because Monday through Friday they're very
(22:33):
busy unless you plan on staying and banking on the evenings.
But I'm pretty sure in the evenings they can't even
do much because they have formation in the evening and
they got to be back on base. You know, it's
so busy you find little time to be with them.
It's crazy. Schoolhouse is a pain in the ass. I
(22:54):
will admit I hated that time period of life because
it really was just a waiting game. And at that
point we were waiting also to find out where Firs
study station was, and we were we couldn't find that
out until he at least started school. So I'm just
sitting back at home like la da da da da,
(23:16):
trying to act like everything's fine. And I love to
plan everything down to the bone, and I couldn't plan anything. Yeah,
there's a lot of different things I could talk about
when it comes to the military, and we're just getting
to leave it with those three for right now. But
I'm very grateful for the life I have right now.
I don't want to bash the military and the military
(23:38):
life because the military has given me so many opportunities, honestly,
but in the end of the day, it's hard. It
is hard not having your spouse around all the time,
knowing there can be a curve bomb thrown whenever, or
you know, it's just very frustrating. You have to deal
(24:01):
with that. I guess live laugh love military. I hope
I helped a few people, because navigating this life can
be difficult. I completely understand. I completely understand, But who
knows where I'd be right now if he was not
in the military. Who knows where he would be if
he wasn't in the military. And you know, we wouldn't
(24:23):
have been able to see half the places that we
did if it wasn't for him being in the military.
So it has it has its goods, it has its bads.
You just gotta fight through the bads. I hope you
guys enjoyed this kind of different podcast. Whether we missed you.
(24:45):
I kind of don't like hearing myself talk. Oh my god,
did you hear that? Did you hear my voice crack? Anyway,
Heather missed you? Please come back. I did not like
hearing my voice the whole time, and maybe next time
I will do. Since Heather's kind of going into this,
she probably has more questions that I can't think of
(25:08):
off the top of my head that she would have.
We can do like a Q and A type thing
to help other people out, but it's a living experience
and a learning experience as well. So yeah, that's it
for this week. I hope you guys enjoyed. Talk to
you next week and Heather will be here the drop
(25:29):
it to the Melding Valley
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