May 28, 2025 • 50 mins
We are back for another week!!
If you guys have not checked out our podcast from last week, definitely go listen. Chatting each week helps us stay connected from 5,000 miles away! Talking about our lives, trends, or even the latest gossip! We normally pick different topics and start yapping!
This week’s podcast we talk a little about if second chances and if they are worth it. We hope you guys enjoy, and don’t forget to reach out on social media with feedback!!
Thanks for listening !!
TikTok: RingHerUP
Instagram: Ringherup_
If you guys have not checked out our podcast from last week, definitely go listen. Chatting each week helps us stay connected from 5,000 miles away! Talking about our lives, trends, or even the latest gossip! We normally pick different topics and start yapping!
This week’s podcast we talk a little about if second chances and if they are worth it. We hope you guys enjoy, and don’t forget to reach out on social media with feedback!!
Thanks for listening !!
TikTok: RingHerUP
Instagram: Ringherup_
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
I had a near death experience. I saw the light
after that game, I realized that I need to like
change how I play.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
Like it's obviously it's not the same as a court,
Like I have to like slow my ass down.
Speaker 1 (00:12):
I can't be doing as much.
Speaker 3 (00:13):
And I was like, yeah, surely in the sand that blows.
Speaker 1 (00:17):
But not.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
My skin hates the sun now doesn't want to see
a second of the sun. Today, I had fun. I
guess it's all.
Speaker 3 (00:27):
Those Yeah, I was dead. Yeah, that definitely was what
my ass mm hmm.
Speaker 1 (00:36):
What's wild is you are tanner to me right now?
Speaker 3 (00:40):
It's fake.
Speaker 1 (00:41):
I just spent twelve hours in the sun, like Rain
and I.
Speaker 3 (00:45):
Have been laying in the tanning beds and I got
like a good base and I look so dark right now.
But I was at brox House all weekend, so I
decided Rain and I were talking earlier. I was like,
you know what, like I just like being dirty, Like
I just love being like hungover and like dirty. So
(01:06):
I'm just writing it out, but I desperately need to
like scrub some of this tand off, especially my face. Yeah.
I got my spray tan done Saturday and stood off
at brox House at like midnight, tried not to get
my face. Well, my face looked decent, like under my
eyes looked good because I cried off most of it
at your mom's house. But then I had like white
(01:29):
shit all over my face like it was a whole thing.
It was a whole thing. Okay, what are we talking
about today?
Speaker 1 (01:35):
I don't know. I just woke up like ten minutes ago.
Speaker 3 (01:38):
Open up the notes apps, see what we have cooking
in there?
Speaker 1 (01:41):
All right, speaking of speaking of, I'm gonna bring this
up again.
Speaker 2 (01:45):
Finished season two The Secret Lives of Warman Wives. Still
have no one to fucking talk to about it.
Speaker 3 (01:53):
Okay, I say this every week, but I'm I'm locking in.
I'm I'm gonna start watching it when I get ready
for work.
Speaker 1 (02:00):
It's too good. It's literally the drama eats me alive.
Speaker 3 (02:04):
Yeah, I'm sure, but I normally listen to a podcast
in the morning. I'll just start watching, like listening to that.
Speaker 2 (02:10):
Yeah, I need I need something here, all right, all right,
let's start with this. One's gonna be tough. Not tough,
but like I feel like we both have two different
(02:31):
like maybe not.
Speaker 1 (02:33):
I'll just fucking say it. Getting back with your ex
is it boulder dumb.
Speaker 3 (02:36):
Oh, this is so fitting, this is so great?
Speaker 1 (02:40):
Is it worth a second chance? Just yeah?
Speaker 2 (02:43):
See me personally, how I feel about this topic is
I wouldn't be here if I didn't get back with
my ex, Like I fully think in some cases it
can be deserving, but like I think, like also, you
just have to like read the room, you know what
I mean, Like if they're treating you like shit and
are throwing all these red flags, then actually like if
(03:06):
it if it ended not I don't want to say,
like nothing ends nicely, but like if it didn't end shitty,
then like I feel like they're still room to grow personally.
Speaker 1 (03:16):
Thank you.
Speaker 3 (03:17):
So I don't know, it's really hard just because I
do feel like everyone can change, Like I solely believe
that everyone can change. I just feel like like what
you said, like if they want to change, Like you
can't make somebody change if they don't want to. And
it's definitely, like definitely hard to decide, like if you
(03:40):
should get back together with them or if you should
just like let it be. Is like the boat I'm
currently sinking in right now, to.
Speaker 2 (03:48):
Take this ball off my dog before it starts squeaking
in the background.
Speaker 3 (03:53):
I don't know. I think honestly, I feel like to
even know is to like take a break, figure yourselves
out out, and then just go from that.
Speaker 2 (04:02):
Yeah, because like seriously, he and E weren't together for
two two and a half their years, like in between
like what we when we Like that was our breakup period,
and like he has told me time and time before,
like there were chances where he could have been with
people or like hooked up with people, and he just
(04:23):
like literally chose not to just because.
Speaker 1 (04:25):
That's not what he wanted, like he knew. And I
think I think that's like the time apart like really
helped that, you know.
Speaker 3 (04:32):
I feel like you just can't put a limit on
time though, no matter, Like I think it's good for
some people to like date other people, to realize, but
I also think it could be good just being in
like a no contact period of just like being loyal.
I don't know. I think it honestly is case by case,
(04:54):
Like if someone beat the shit out of you, then
like you should probably just give that up because that's
really hard to change.
Speaker 2 (05:00):
No, And I don't believe people will change from that,
Like that's like some serious I don't know, like that's
trauma that you're putting yourself through, and like the other
person obviously needs help, and those are the red flags
I'm talking about that you need to observe and like
obviously you should not get back with your ex if
like those things are popping up.
Speaker 3 (05:16):
I agree. I think it just depends on like honestly,
like who you ask, because my predicament at the very
moment is like like losing friendships over it, right, which
I don't want to do, But then I also have
to say true to myself.
Speaker 1 (05:31):
But I think I honestly think, like.
Speaker 2 (05:35):
Your case, nothing like freaking traumatic happened. I mean, like obviously,
like it wasn't like a great way to like end
things in a way, but like like everyone's fine, everyone's
like okay where they're at, So like friends aren't agreeing
with that, then, like.
Speaker 3 (05:53):
What like why you know what I mean, Like it
definitely didn't end how I imagined. I never thought it ended
at all. This is a really embarrassing if he listens
to these still, but whatever, I just like it definitely
could have ended better. But as of like today, we're
like in an okay spot. It's just so hard to
(06:17):
make the decision if someone truly deserves like a second chance.
Speaker 2 (06:21):
It's like literally sucks that you don't know a single thought,
like an actual true thought of what they're thinking. Like
you just like literally don't know. And that's like the
scariest thing about trusting.
Speaker 3 (06:33):
People literally have to completely start from rock bottom again
and like learn to trust each other and to just
like take each other's word. But I did talk to
your mom yesterday when I saw her, and she was like,
how they like, first of all, this is on brand,
so I'm not very surprised for me, Love you, Nick,
But she did say she did say people make mistakes
(06:56):
and it's not life altering, Like no one's lives were
at stake exactly. So she did say, like people make
mistakes if you give them another chance. But she was like,
I think you should. The year's gonna have to like
read the room and know when enough's enough because you
can only make a mistake once and after that that's
(07:17):
just who you are, right No.
Speaker 2 (07:19):
Because like seriously, the first like like when you get
back together with your ex and I'm not talking like
specifically you, just like anyone, you really got to be
cautious and like, seriously, the first thing that happens, you
cannot stay you like you just have to end it
because obviously things didn't change.
Speaker 1 (07:38):
And I don't know.
Speaker 3 (07:40):
I think too like going back, Why I agree, but
I think too going back to like the whole space
and time thing. I feel like, no matter what has happened,
like if you break up on good terms bad terms,
like the craziest thing, I truly think you need time alone,
like especially the person that got hurt, like the hurt
one that you just need space to get over the
(08:01):
resentment and to get over like the fact of like
what happened. Because personally, I cannot go back into a
relationship with resentment or hatred or like whatever it is,
because that's just not gonna help us. So I rather
take one month, two months, three months, three years to
fully be okay and to grow from this, so I
(08:23):
could give you like a fair chance, because if I
don't trust you, like, I'm not going to give you
a fair chance, and it's just gonna be toxic, right,
nobody wants that.
Speaker 2 (08:33):
No, I agree, and like for me and when when
he broke up with me, honestly I never had like
a hate towards him, But even like even if you
don't have that feeling. I think it's still good to
take that time because like you can grow and like
(08:54):
see exactly how you feel, like I don't know you,
just you like that like teaches you what you actually
want and whether the resentments there or not, Like yes,
if you do resent them, you do need to grow
and like figure out who you are and like what
you actually want and if you like actually just like
you dislike that person or it's just like the heat
(09:14):
in the moment, like oh, you fucking broke my heart,
Like I don't fucking like you. Yeah, I don't know,
but like I think people truly don't understand that, like
you do need to take time, like they I feel
like they're just like, oh, give it a week and
and we'll see where we Like, No, like we took
fucking yeah, we took like fucking three years. Like if
(09:38):
if you guys love each other, like, if you love
each other, it's not going to go away.
Speaker 3 (09:43):
That's not part where I'm at right now. I think
if someone can do you so dirty and you still
love them, like obviously you are not ready to be
like completely done and over it, yet like you still
love them so obviously you want to see where like
that could potentially go again. I think having time a
part shows you, like your own true intentions and how
much self control you have, and the other persons of
(10:05):
like if they're going out, if they're drinking, if they're
having sex with every single girl, Like I think that
just shows you, like what you truly want, Like do
I even think about you when you're not around? Do
I so love you? Do I feel the urge to
text you? And like the same on their end, like
do is this the life I want? Like like I
don't know. I'm not saying like test the limits and
(10:27):
like go have sex with some random person to see
if you still love your ex boyfriend. But I'm just saying, like.
Speaker 1 (10:31):
Put yourself out there, Yeah, put.
Speaker 3 (10:33):
Yourself out there, see how you feel, see who you
think of at the end of the day.
Speaker 2 (10:38):
Right, Like, even when you're doing something you enjoy by yourself,
if they're still in the back of your head, then
you're like thinking like, oh I wish they were here
with me, or like oh I should like text them, Like.
Speaker 3 (10:49):
Like then it's probably not over yet, right at least
I will say, yeah, it's on your side, so at
least for me. Then that's like when I worked up,
I was gonna hurt name dropping because I don't know
a fuck anymore when I when I dated Jesse, we
honestly probably should have never updated, at least on my own.
(11:11):
Definitely on my own. But I just feel like when
he was going through it, he definitely did not know
how to not take that out on me, and it's
like made us toxic essentially, which two people play a
role in that, Like I definitely wasn't the nicest person
either or like the easiest person to date. But it
(11:33):
come down to the point where like I wanted to
do my own thing. I wanted to get my lips filled,
I wanted to get my boobs done, Like I just
wanted to like go and experience different things. And he
was like, I want to sit at home, Like I
don't want you to get your lips filled, Like that's
fucking the sum Like why would you ever do that?
Like at that point, I knew, like if you can't
even support like my own personal like interests, like they're
(11:57):
like this is just never gonna work. So when we
broke up, like no, not even a thought in the
back of my mind because I knew that that was
not my person. But like, right, it's just so hard
right now because I envision this whole future with said person,
and now you're trying to like unconvince yourself and like
unimagine these things that you guys have talked about for
the last how many months? Right, So, but then again,
(12:19):
if I was on the other side of it, I'd
want a second chance. If it's always like reverse, like
everyone's always gonna want a second chance when they fuck up.
It's like human nature.
Speaker 2 (12:30):
Yeah, no, I agree, like a second chance. I feel
like it's always like redeemable. But after the second then
you're just like you're just dead to me. Yeah, it's
just like I gave you another chance to try and
change and prove yourself.
Speaker 1 (12:47):
Yes, And if you're.
Speaker 2 (12:48):
Not gonna take that second chance that I'm willing to
give you, then.
Speaker 1 (12:55):
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (12:56):
Yeah, because I feel like even if it's like like
I do, think you almost know in a week if
you want to be with them or not, Like you
still need to take the time, of course, right, but
if you truly want to be with that person, like
fucking up a second time just proves every other thought
in the back of my mind that is now proved
right right, Like there is no third chance, Like there
(13:20):
just can't be because at this point it's a habit.
You know, I'm going to take you back, Like we
all know how this is going to end, right, It's
just not fair to either of us.
Speaker 2 (13:30):
Well, no, and especially it's especially not fair to the
person giving the second chance, like you're potentially putting your
heart on the line again to be completely shattered and
like you're being generous enough to give that opportunity and
the other person's just gonna go and fuck it up.
Speaker 3 (13:50):
Absolutely not like and I'm sitting there.
Speaker 2 (13:52):
Telling you I've changed, I've done this, but then like
they fucking like that's so selfish.
Speaker 3 (13:58):
It's so selfish because obviously you don't even care about
your own self. You have no self respect, you have
no morals if you can sit here and like drag
me more than one time. But on a different note,
I feel the same exact way with friendships.
Speaker 1 (14:14):
Oh no, same, I feel.
Speaker 2 (14:16):
The honestly, like, Okay, so watch obviously The Secret Lives
of the Warm Lives season two, and something really struck
like it's stuck out to me, like one of the
girls was like for whatever reason, like friendships are fucking
harder than actual relationships because you have expectations in a
relationship and if obviously they don't meet those expectations.
Speaker 1 (14:38):
Like you're not gonna be with them.
Speaker 2 (14:40):
Whereas friendships it's like not as like like you don't
really set expect like you have like a few small
ones kind of like obviously you want to be like
have things in common and like you know, like in
that sort of way, but you don't have expectations because
you're not like in a relationship with that person. So
then like I feel like friendships can just fall apart
(15:01):
so easily because like it's brutal.
Speaker 3 (15:05):
It's easy to avoid in a friendship, yeah, because you're
not you have you owe well essentially you owe that
person nothing, so if they do something too, they don't
really owe you an explanation. But it's just really hard
to like be honest with your friend. I think it's
harder to be honest with your friend than it is
(15:26):
your boyfriend because you made that commitment to them, which
I honestly feel the same about my friends. Like if
something's bothering you, like I hope my friends know that
they can just like bring it up and right understanding
and we could make it work. But I just feel
like if I'm doing everything to be the best friend
and to go a place with you and like do
(15:48):
whatever and take you places and we're like hanging out
all the time, then you like wrong me, Like I
it like it happens, like I'm sure I've said shit
about everybody that I don't mean right, never meant to
hurt anyone's feelings. I just think like after a couple
of times, it's like, okay, the film works both ways.
If you can't text me and ask me how I am,
(16:09):
Like I'm not going to text you. If you can't
check in on me after a breakup, I'm probably not
gonna want to talk to you.
Speaker 2 (16:16):
So yeah, no, And those are like the selfish people
in this world that like truly only think about themselves
and like text and benefit when.
Speaker 1 (16:26):
Like it's beneficial to them. So and that's like so shitty.
Speaker 3 (16:30):
I agree, I agree.
Speaker 1 (16:33):
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (16:34):
I don't know. I just think I think friendships are
honestly like more heartbreaking then.
Speaker 2 (16:38):
No, it is, because like you want, I don't know,
friendships and relationships like are two different, like bonds in
a way, and like friendships you want to trust them,
like like seriously everything, and just like I don't know,
like obviously you want the same in a relationship.
Speaker 3 (16:51):
But like, no, I know what you're saying though, like
like being a friend, like you are making a commitment,
and it honestly makes me really like sad that knowing
that some of my friends don't support giving second chances
in any case, your your friends are supposed to be
there for you to like lean on. So if I
can't talk to you and I feel like you don't care,
(17:11):
I'm honestly just not gonna talk at all because I
want my friends to be there and to support me
no matter what. Like that's what you signed up for
when you are each other's friends, right.
Speaker 2 (17:22):
Or like even if you I feel like it's awful
too whenever you are in a situation and you just
like want to lean on someone or someone's like opinion
on something and you feel like as if like you
can't go to them because you're getting to be judged
or like.
Speaker 1 (17:39):
Just like looked at differently, I guess in.
Speaker 2 (17:41):
A way, And that's what like really sucks because then
like you almost have like a feeling of like loneliness
and like Okay, so like what the fuck did Like
I don't have anyone to talk to like about this,
and like what the fuck do I do?
Speaker 3 (17:55):
And I think to a point, I mean, I don't
want my friends to feed into like my delusion if
like something I'm doing is like terrible and there's like
red flags all around it, like ex boyfriends are just
any situation. But if I'm like trying to tell you
like both sides of whatever situation is going on, and
you still can't just sit and talk or at least
(18:17):
just listen, yeah, I think it's shitty. I do think
it's shitty because like what like what like why are
we friends if I can't depend on you?
Speaker 2 (18:25):
Mm hmm yeah, No, I will not be keeping anyone
around just to have around for what shits and gigs.
Speaker 1 (18:33):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (18:34):
I'm like I'm not saying like relationships are like draining
or exhausting, but it's like not worth Like I don't know.
I enjoy having like obviously my husband and then like
two or three friends maybe to talk to, Like I
don't I don't want a million friends, Like I enjoy
the amount that I have and like I like putting
(18:56):
effort into those friendships, and I'm not gonna just like
string another person along.
Speaker 1 (19:03):
Just to have another friend, Like.
Speaker 2 (19:05):
I don't know, like you have to put work into friendships,
and like I'm not I'm not gonna do that for
someone that I'm just like eh.
Speaker 3 (19:13):
Or me too. At that point, I just will never
talk to you again. Like I do love a tight
small circle when everyone gets along and everyone's in group
chats and we're all doing things together and we all
can like like each other's boyfriends and husband and like
just like that, I want to pour everything into because
I would want the same. But when it comes to
(19:35):
like I've made one new friend since we've graduated high school,
and that is Giovanna, and I love that girl to death,
but I just am not looking for like new friends
to like pour my energy into when like I think
it just gets messy. Like I think it's good like
if you click with somebody, but I'd rather just pour
(19:57):
my energy energy into like my closed childhood.
Speaker 1 (20:00):
Right.
Speaker 3 (20:00):
Friends, Well, they.
Speaker 2 (20:04):
Understand everything you've like already been through. They understand like
they I don't know, they just like get who you are.
And I think that's another reason why I'm like struggling
so much to like I guess make friends here in
a way because like I just don't want to put
my time or energy into new friendships when I have
(20:27):
really good friendships back home, because like it's like I have.
Speaker 1 (20:32):
To start all over, like no one knows me.
Speaker 2 (20:34):
I have to like I don't have to explain my
story of who I am.
Speaker 1 (20:39):
But then again, they don't know anything about me, yeah,
which which.
Speaker 2 (20:43):
Isn't it an excuse because like I can't, like, you
guys are over one thousand miles away from me, I
can't like hang out with you guys, and my friendships
shouldn't just be over the phone. But then again, like
I just like don't want to, like it's like so
much work and like to start all over again with
the friendship is just like starting from scratch with a
(21:04):
relationship and it's just something I don't want to do
because I haven't had it so long.
Speaker 3 (21:10):
It's almost draining. And I think it's like making friends
and like seeing different people because like that definitely is
helping your mental health and like even your mom said
that yesterday, But I just think personally, I don't have
the best backstory opening up and telling people that it's
just like I don't want to because new friends will
(21:32):
judge you instantly, and I think it's hard to really
get to a place with somebody new and like clicking
with somebody and just like them taking you for like
who you are, right, it's legit like a relationship, Like
you have to get over the awkward little things. And
I didn't have to do that this time around, because
(21:53):
don't end told everyone that my mom kicked me out
of my house and had to move me into my dad's.
He did the dirty work for me. Thanks, thank you, thanks,
thank you. Really appreciate that. Wouldn't want that done any
other way.
Speaker 1 (22:10):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, fuck.
Speaker 2 (22:12):
Just like talking about it is like exhausting, like if
that makes I don't even know if that makes sense,
just like the idea of annoying friendships and like stuff
like that.
Speaker 3 (22:21):
No, it honestly is so exhausting, especially when you're already
going through it, like you are so far away and
you don't ask for much and people still can't show
up for you. Is it pisses me off? And it's wild,
It's insane.
Speaker 2 (22:36):
It's really crazy, honestly though, Like I'm like grateful for
that because it does show like where people's like priorities
are and if that's where it stands, and I guess
I don't need need that in my life.
Speaker 3 (22:49):
So I agree. I think it too. It really shows
like the whole friend groups dynamic, because Reena and I
got really close with you being gone, and we really
lean on each other, yeah, over the fact that you're gone,
and we like always make sure someone is like checking
in on you or just talking to you in general.
Speaker 2 (23:08):
Right, Well, I like, I'm so glad, Like obviously it
sucks that I'm here, and like I can't be with
you guys, But then at the same time, like, I'm
so glad that you guys have each other because I know,
like there for the longest time, Rena like didn't have anyone.
Speaker 1 (23:24):
And obviously neither did you, Like you didn't.
Speaker 2 (23:27):
Have anyone too, and like you guys were both texting
me like what.
Speaker 1 (23:31):
The fuck come home? Like who am I supposed to
hang out with?
Speaker 2 (23:34):
I don't hang out with anyone like I need, And
so like, I'm glad that you guys are like obviously
getting closer and like friends now because I like it.
Speaker 1 (23:44):
It does suck, Like.
Speaker 3 (23:46):
No, it really does suck, and I almost feel guilty
in a way. Because you're gone and we like are
with each other all the time. But I did not
know she was so lonely for so long. Like she
just told me about this the other day because Buck,
I think Brock said love you guys, or like I
said love you guys. Someone said something and she was like,
you guys love me and we were like yes, Rina,
(24:08):
Like yeah.
Speaker 1 (24:10):
Such an idiot.
Speaker 3 (24:11):
Sometimes she's so funny, but it definitely does help knowing
that there's someone else that like relates even though you're
so far. I'd rather have you home and I rather
as all be friends.
Speaker 1 (24:24):
But right, no, no, I get it, definitely. I don't
know crazy world.
Speaker 3 (24:31):
Yeah, I'm currently going through all this slip gloss and
throwing it away. I'm sitting here, but my lips are
burn't I bet. I just think like I think, relationships
are hard and friendships are just as hard, and that
says enough. That will tell you everything you need to
know if someone's even willing to No, yeah.
Speaker 1 (24:54):
They're hard enough as is.
Speaker 2 (24:56):
So if you're just gonna be in that relationship, like
whatever relationship it is is, if you're just in there
trying to make it more hard than fucking leave, like
it's they literally already have their struggles and complications as is,
and if you're just gonna be toxic and make it
even harder, then it's not worth it.
Speaker 3 (25:17):
No, And like I think love is a vicious cycle
to some, so like if you truly like, don't tell
me you love me unless you're gonna be here and
ride or die.
Speaker 2 (25:27):
For me, right, Well that's that's I mean for me
that those words don't come out just and I feel
like a lot of people it's just very easy and
like maybe habit for them to say because like even
like there have been times, like I like, there have
been people I'm not gonna say this like on here,
but like there have been a lot of people that
(25:49):
are just like are a hugger And I don't mind hugging,
but yeah, no, not really much of a hugger, but
like there's a lot of people around me that are
huggers and that like will be like I love you,
and like I just a lot of those people I
just like haven't reached the level of where I feel
(26:10):
the need to say it. But then like it's like
messed up if I don't say it because they said it,
so then like I'm cringing, making it come out like
it's I don't know. Like to me, that means a
lot more than I think most people would think.
Speaker 1 (26:23):
And so if you if you get it out of me,
then fuck, I guess.
Speaker 3 (26:27):
You're around long.
Speaker 1 (26:30):
Yeah, I guess you're just a decent person in my eyes.
If I'm saying it to you, because it's really hard.
Speaker 3 (26:36):
I second that. And no one really throws it around
like often, like I don't just tell my friends I
love them for like fun, like it's like no, I
love you, No.
Speaker 2 (26:47):
I like genuinely have to feel it, like it's one
of those things. If I don't feel it, then it
just like I cringe saying it.
Speaker 3 (26:54):
But I also don't say it often I just think, like,
obviously I love you, I love my friends, but I
just am not like a lovey Dobbie show. So I'm
probably not gonna tell you. You know what, I fear.
Speaker 2 (27:07):
I actually fear that is a sign of our how
we grew up.
Speaker 3 (27:11):
Though yes, I agree, because when I get into relationships
and people tell me they love me, I'm like, okay,
Like when people hug me, I'm like, please, don't like
I hug rock By like a couple of weeknds ago,
and I was like, I don't hug, like I like,
I hugg Reena Bye, I hug rock By Jackie Bye.
And I'm like I told them all. I was like,
I actually hate hugging people. I hate cuddling. I hate
(27:32):
hugging people. Like the only person I genuinely like cuddling
with his brand shut up. But even then, we don't hug.
Speaker 1 (27:41):
Yeah, don't cuddle, just cuddle.
Speaker 3 (27:43):
Yeah, we just got we don't hug. But yeah, I
just I just don't. I don't. I just don't hug.
I just don't hug. I just don't like to hug.
We don't need to hug.
Speaker 1 (27:54):
But this is that's so funny because I was thinking
this the other day.
Speaker 2 (27:58):
Like when I go play ball on the weekend, I
mean during the week in the gym, everyone there is like.
Speaker 1 (28:07):
Filipino or like Mexican, and you know, I went out
with them one time.
Speaker 2 (28:13):
And now like when you walk in, when I walk in,
or when everyone when they walk in, they like every
single person like comes up and hugs me.
Speaker 1 (28:21):
But like they're all huggers. And I don't know these
people and they're just like we'reen like so good and
I'm like okay, hi, yeah, like hell, like why are
you hugging me?
Speaker 2 (28:31):
Like yeah, I don't like I like you guys, like
you guys are so sweet, but like why, like I
don't come from like a hugging like I don't know
if that's like their culture, like I know, like I
know when we were in Spanish class.
Speaker 1 (28:44):
We remember we were in Spanish class.
Speaker 2 (28:45):
And Thornton was like, hugging is like so big, like
that's what they do, like they are just so like friendly,
and I guess that's kind of like probably what it is,
but we're like I'm not.
Speaker 3 (28:56):
No, I'm not either, And I truly think it's because
of how we grew up, because like Jackie's a big
like love you by, be careful person. I'm just like okay, bye,
but like I love you. I'm like okay, like we
live off thee Like yeah, I don't know. I think
it's I think it's hard, and I think that's where
(29:17):
some second chances circling back and relationships just aren't supposed
to work if you guys have come from such completely
different families and you're holding like the expectation like so
unbelievably high, and I do think you can like adapt
two different things and you can like become different people
out of like your family. I just think it's really
(29:38):
hard when you are so old to really like change
your ways, especially when it comes to something that you've
never had.
Speaker 1 (29:46):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (29:47):
So I think that it's like knowing what you want,
knowing what they want, trying to find a happy medium
to where you both are happy is really hard. And
that's when you need to take the time. And it'swain.
It's if you're breaking up, it's not working. Yeah, I
gotta take the time to figure out what you want,
what you don't want, and what you want from them.
Speaker 2 (30:05):
Seriously, honestly, if anyone takes anything from this podcast, it's.
Speaker 3 (30:10):
Take your time.
Speaker 1 (30:11):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (30:12):
In all reality, what is five months compared to your
whole entire life? No, that's seriously, And I mean you're
not sitting at home like sad and upsead and like
not going out and not doing things like I'm doing
everything that i want to do still in respect of
like a relationship, I'm still I'm seeing my friends, Like
(30:35):
I'm going wherever like concerts like you name it. Like
I'm still doing what i want, but I'm taking that
time from them to really figure it out, right, and
like if I go my whole summer just being in
this in between whatever, like I'm not wasting time because
there's nothing I don't there's nothing I want to do
that I can't do in a relationship, right, Like I'm
(30:57):
out of that phase. I don't have sex with everybody.
I don't want to run around like I don't. I
don't want that. I don't want that at all. So
it's like I'm totally fine like giving time and if
you're not okay and you want to do these things
and you need to like reevaluate and text that person
and be like, Okay, this is just not what I one.
Speaker 2 (31:13):
Anymore, right, I mean yeah, no, I agree, And honestly,
like even like for me, like I don't even think
three years like of time was like a lot because
like right now we're married and have the rest of
our lives, so like what was three years of time?
Speaker 1 (31:30):
You know what I mean?
Speaker 2 (31:31):
Like you it's like real like in the moment when
you're going and you're down bad and you like all
you want is to be with that person, Yes, it
feels like the longest time of your life you have,
like three years like what the fuck.
Speaker 1 (31:44):
But like it's like truly not that long.
Speaker 3 (31:46):
No, it's truly not especially if you really want it,
you should be willing to give the time because, like
I said, you don't want to jump back into something
if you're not ready, because if you an Eve, for example,
like got back together too soon, like you guys might
not be married right now, like it might have just
not have worked. But I think, like you just can't
force things and you just have to let the universe
(32:07):
decide for you. And like if it works out and
you guys run into each other or whatever happens, like
then you know, like okay, like maybe it's meant to
because we're not forcing each other to be where we
don't want to be.
Speaker 1 (32:20):
Yeah, exactly, I agree.
Speaker 3 (32:25):
More than anything, it feels like a long time when
you're in it.
Speaker 2 (32:28):
Yeah, like like right in the cycle of it, it's
it really is like a heart like.
Speaker 3 (32:35):
You don't know, but it'll goes faster than.
Speaker 2 (32:40):
You think, like seriously, no, and like at the end
of the day, like it's funny after the fact, like honestly,
like it makes me laugh, but it just is gonna
take time, right and then it'll be like a joke
like it's fine.
Speaker 3 (32:54):
Fine, laugh it off, goodness, goodness, crazy shows.
Speaker 2 (32:58):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, because I think back to like when
you broke up with me and how stupidly down bad.
Speaker 1 (33:06):
I was like, oh.
Speaker 3 (33:06):
My god, dude, it's it's something because I feel it
every now and again. But I know, like the end
is near, the end is near.
Speaker 2 (33:17):
No, seriously, yep, everyone will be fine. Just take a breath,
be calm.
Speaker 3 (33:22):
No, Honestly, Like I just tell myself at least three
times a day, like it's not that real. It's not
that deep, no matter what happens with any relationship, friendship,
Like my world's not gonna stop, life's gonna move on,
new doors are gonna open. It's not that real. It's fine.
Like what you do when you're twenty Jackie Toy this today.
(33:44):
She was like, what you do when you're twenty does
not matter. It's a canon event. Shit happens your twenty.
Like what you do is not gonna be on your tombstone,
not who you are, not who you you're gonna be,
not who you date, not who you've dated, not what
you had in life. So you just have to like
live life for you and do what you can.
Speaker 2 (34:04):
No, and like also obviously not in like a relationship
type of way, like because I'm married and everything, but
like even moving here has like really opened my eyes
and like it should like obviously you don't see it
as much, but like it's opened my eyes so much
(34:25):
that there are so many people in this world, so
many good people, so many like fish in the sea,
like you know what I mean, Like.
Speaker 1 (34:33):
There are so many amazing people in this world.
Speaker 2 (34:38):
And like obviously for you, like you're not stuck, but
like you are in like the same place where you've
always been, like not too many people to meet, but like,
holy shit, like you go like one stayed across and
you could meet like literally the best person like in
your life.
Speaker 3 (34:57):
I agree, And I think that's always in the back
of everybody's not you, but like everyone's minds of like
if they don't change, like it's it's not the end
of the world. Because I've said this podcast on podcasts
ago time after time. There will always be somebody better.
There will always be someone better, and not in a
rude way, but like somebody better for you that's gonna
(35:18):
meet your sirs and meet your needs, and there's also
gonna be someone better for the other person. Like it's
not like, oh they're downgrading there, I'm praying on their downfall,
like I'm eighteen or sixteen.
Speaker 2 (35:28):
Like what like matches best with your personality and like
who's gonna like who can literally like understand you best
and all that, Like it's more than just like he
gets me flowers every freaking day and like you know
what I mean, Like it's more than those things of
like like you did better or whatever.
Speaker 3 (35:46):
Yeah, I just think like a connection can be better,
and there's just always going to be not always Like
that sounds like terrible, like you could just like jump
from person person and like keep finding better. I just
think like if it's truly not working out, your son's coming,
like someone else is gonna come and you're gonna meet
that person and be with them for the rest of
your lives. So even if this ends terribly for anybody, there's.
Speaker 1 (36:14):
So many people in the world. Yeah, there's so many people.
Speaker 3 (36:17):
So many people that would like drop everything, yeah to
wrong you, to consider you it every waking second of
the day.
Speaker 1 (36:25):
And it feels like I I know, I know, I know,
I know, I know. It feels like no, they're.
Speaker 3 (36:31):
The one, like I don't want anyone else.
Speaker 2 (36:34):
Like, no, shut the fuck up, because someone's gonna be
out here in this world, like ready to be on
their freaking knees, like kissing you at your feet, like,
shut the fuck up, move on, like they're not like.
Speaker 3 (36:45):
Far after so much time and after so many chances,
like you really have to lock in and be like, Okay,
this is not for me. This is not for me
one for one second. Someone else is gonna come along
to get what you want for Rena.
Speaker 2 (37:01):
Yeah, and you're going to be so happy, like you're
not going to be put through whatever this person is
putting you through.
Speaker 3 (37:08):
Now, It's just it's not it's not. I mean, it's
life changing from experience, it is life, but it's not
it's not world ending. Like no, there's so much more
than a fucking boyfriend to look forward to, like your friends, work, hobbies,
if you're going to school, Like there's so much more
to put your effort and time into than sitting here
(37:30):
and for somebody to change obviously could not give a fuck.
Speaker 2 (37:33):
Lass No, I agree, and like for me to see it,
I also think like like why so, like if you're
in a shitty relationship and like say you're like broken
up and you're like thinking about giving them a second chance.
Well scratch the second chances. But like let's just say,
like there's no second chances. Person's done with you, but
they also didn't treat you the best, Like why wouldn't
(37:54):
you as a person like me personally, Like I, why
wouldn't you want to find that person that's gonna treat
you so well? Like I would be like fighting for that,
like literally like searching the ends of the earth because
there's someone out there. I know, damn while there's someone
out there, so like fuck that person that like treated
you like shit, seriously, Like I would be fighting for
(38:19):
the deaths to find this person that's meant for me.
Speaker 3 (38:23):
I agree. I think it just comes with like the
lack of self worth honestly, because like the like relationships
like that just like beat you down. But I do
think on the other side of that, like if that
person is showing you like exactly what you want and
what you deserve for like an X amount of time,
like okay, cool, But at the same time, like you said,
there's so many people out there, and the right one's
gonna fall into your lap, Like it's just gonna happen,
(38:45):
and at that point, you can't run away from it
because you know they're perfect, you know they're everything, and
you're not gonna have to ask for simple things like
they're just gonna understand and just.
Speaker 1 (38:54):
Yeah, they're literally just going to do it.
Speaker 3 (38:56):
No, you don't have to die, and it's.
Speaker 1 (38:59):
Going to blow your mind.
Speaker 2 (39:00):
You're actually probably going to think there's something wrong because
of how well it's going and.
Speaker 1 (39:05):
How well they understand you. But like, in reality, it's
just you've like found.
Speaker 3 (39:09):
Your person, agreed. I think, honestly, my thought is conned.
I think if someone wants to change, it's fine, But
if you have to keep asking someone to change, like
there's a really good chance that they're going to change, yeah,
and then resort back. And I'm not like, no one
should have to sit bight and be like I want
you to be this person when they're like if it's
(39:30):
like you're investing this person and you love this person,
but you're not in love with this person. There's someone
else out there that you can be in love with
that you don't have to like beg to change, Like
you like, no one should have to change, right unless
they want to, And it's not like drastic because at
that point, it's like, then who are you even in
love with?
Speaker 1 (39:47):
Like like you fully change a person?
Speaker 2 (39:51):
Yeah no, at that point, like literally just leave and
try to find the person that you obviously you want
wanted in that person.
Speaker 3 (40:01):
I just think at that point, like they're just gonna
find you when you're ready. It's just gonna be like
you're just gonna click.
Speaker 1 (40:08):
Yeah no, I agree, I agree.
Speaker 3 (40:10):
I'm tired, dude.
Speaker 1 (40:12):
Same well.
Speaker 3 (40:16):
Closing thoughts sorry I was waiting for you. My closing
thoughts are just give yourself grace. It's fine if you
give them a second chance and they blow it. It's
fine to lose friends over it it, Like it is
fine to forgive people and to cut people off, is
what I'm learning. And if you like get back with
this person and everyone hates you and you need someone
(40:37):
to lean on after like texture friends, if you miss
some text them, put it out on the table, like
it's okay to be vulnerable. You'll survive. And if it's
not for you the world because it is not that real, great,
I'm gonna get that tattooed on me. Like it's not
it's never that real.
Speaker 1 (40:55):
It's not that real.
Speaker 3 (40:57):
Not it's never that real.
Speaker 2 (40:59):
Yeah, no, just no, You're worth know what you You
just need to do it for yourself.
Speaker 3 (41:04):
You have to be you have to go to live
with it. So don't do something you don't want to do,
or don't force something, or don't not do something because
you're scared of being judged. Like, just do what you
can live with because at the end of the day,
this is your life and you have to live with it,
and you have to live with it, like it's your life.
You have to live with it. And if you lose
(41:25):
friendships over it, then they're probably they're not friendships. No,
they're they're not friendships.
Speaker 1 (41:31):
Yup. Wow, this got juicy.
Speaker 3 (41:34):
Yeah. I just think it's okay to outgrow friends, even relationships,
Like it's fine, Like not everyone is supposed to be
in your life from the day you're born to.
Speaker 1 (41:42):
The day you die. No, I agree.
Speaker 2 (41:45):
The amount of friendships that I've outgrown, Like seriously, I
think about this all the time, about the name drop,
Like not in a bad way, not in a bad way,
but like I was best friends, like really really close
with michaeleb Evans.
Speaker 3 (41:58):
I knew you were gonna say that.
Speaker 2 (42:00):
And like I mean I actually text her the other day.
It actually it's been a while, it's been like a
month and a half. But like honestly, just like cause
like I feel like we didn't end like our friendship
in a bad way. We kind of literally just grew
apart in I like literally just text her to see
like how her life was, and like, I don't know,
it's just so weird to think that, like that was
my best friend at one point, and like, I don't know,
(42:24):
it's crazy to think about like all the friendships like
I used to be really really close with and just
like outgrown and it like it didn't We just like
literally just went our separate ways.
Speaker 3 (42:35):
Which I think is good too, because I just think
when you're like growing up and finding yourself, you just
don't click the same way like you used to. But
then it also is like if you really want that friendship,
h like, then you just have to like make it
not make it work, like that our friendship could end
so easy because you're a thousand miles away, right, but
(42:57):
like we don't want to outgoate like we saw stuff.
Like you're married, you do like everything that I don't do,
and I do everything that you don't do right, So
it's hard to relate, but at the same time, we
want to be each other's friends.
Speaker 1 (43:11):
Right, And I still feel like we can relate on
a lot of things.
Speaker 3 (43:15):
But yeah, definitely lot.
Speaker 1 (43:17):
Not really, I don't know, I don't know.
Speaker 2 (43:20):
Yeah, No, Like I feel like we have like kind
of the same sense of humor, and I feel like that,
honestly is enough for a friendship. So like if you
really wanted to last, then you won't make it last.
Whereas like me and Mikaela, we like neither of us
really fought for it, so like we did just go
our separate ways.
Speaker 1 (43:36):
Yeah, and that's like, Okay.
Speaker 3 (43:39):
I think it's good though, not to be the same person,
because if one thing bothers me, it's when people fucking
copy me, like like you're and there, like cool same,
but when it is every last thing, I'm like, oh
my god, can you please be your fucking own person. No,
And g Reena and I were talking and I was like,
(43:59):
Brock told us, he was like, there's no way I
ever thought that you guys would be as good as
friends as you are, because you guys are such different people,
which we are, but we have the same, like sense
of humor, like we are like in some ways. But
Rina's like I'm gonna whoop your ass. Yeah I'm not,
I'm gonna yell at you. But like she's like wife, wife, wife,
(44:23):
and like me too. But like I don't know when
it just comes to like those things, like it's just like, Okay,
we're different, but we also have the same thoughts. Like
she's like, I gave so and so a second chance,
like I think you should.
Speaker 1 (44:35):
Yeah, but like I don't know.
Speaker 3 (44:37):
I think it's good to be different.
Speaker 2 (44:39):
No, I agree, it brings different perspectives to like the table.
But then at the same time, if you guys have
like the same morals, like I think that just builds
like a really strong friendship just because you obviously you
think the same, but like have different experiences that can
like help each other and whatnot.
Speaker 3 (44:56):
And so I think if I was friends with the
person that was exact like me, I think I would
just butt heads with them all the time and there'd
be nothing to talk about.
Speaker 1 (45:04):
Yeah, no, I agree, No, yeah, literally.
Speaker 3 (45:09):
Mm hm, staying boring shit, massive spray tands smell.
Speaker 1 (45:12):
I'm gonna have to go shower, and yeah, I'm.
Speaker 3 (45:15):
Gonna go to dinner. Get to the gym, and then
I give the gym.
Speaker 1 (45:21):
Today I'm not I'm not functioning today. I'm done, so
tomorrow zoom. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (45:29):
No, seriously, but I hope someone someone took something from this, anyone, anybody.
Speaker 1 (45:36):
I took something from this, Me too, Me too.
Speaker 3 (45:40):
I think one last little closing thought, I think everyone's
scared of just living in the moment, like, just take
it day by day. Take no, I agree, take it.
Speaker 2 (45:52):
I think I should get that tattooed on my forehead
because that is my.
Speaker 1 (45:57):
That is my saving grace. Especially with being gone.
Speaker 2 (46:00):
I'm just like, take it day by day, take whatever
whatever happens, happens, just.
Speaker 1 (46:05):
Take it by the hour, Like take it by the minute.
It's like, if.
Speaker 3 (46:09):
You're having a good day, take it for what it's worth.
If you wake up and feel like shit tomorrow, like
it's like there's a new day, take it day by day.
Speaker 2 (46:16):
Well, I honestly love like the quote that it's like
you have to have bad days in order to have
good days, because like if you didn't have the bad days,
like what the fuck would the good days be?
Speaker 3 (46:28):
No, it just doesn't give you like anything to like appreciate, Right, Yeah,
I think My honest biggest downfall is wanting to play
in the future and thinking ahead, but then I miss
so much because I'm constantly thinking about like what should
I do, who should I be? Where should I go?
Should I be? Where should I where should I be?
Like putting my time into But I think, honestly, like
(46:50):
I just have to take it day by day or
I'm just gonna ruin every single day thinking about should
I control well?
Speaker 2 (46:56):
And like literally that's the same with me, Like I
have the end date of like when I can Like
I feel like most people, at least like military spouses
like have this, like when they're significant others deployed, they
have this date when they're coming home and they're like, Okay,
that date is when I can be happy again. Like
this is what I'm like it, But like, no, you're
wasting your time, like you are still living in between
(47:18):
this time. You literally just have to take it day
by day and like still be your own person, like
go do fun things, because like you're wasting your life
being miserable if you're waiting for that day for them
to come back and so you can be happy again.
Speaker 3 (47:33):
Yeah, I feel like at that point, it's like you're
finding your happiness and someone else rather than al show yourself. Right, No,
just not healthy.
Speaker 1 (47:41):
That's seriously so sad to me.
Speaker 2 (47:42):
But like, and don't get me wrong, there's like it's
fine to have bad days like and literally like wish that,
but like you can't, like it can't be all the time.
Speaker 1 (47:53):
You have to literally live for yourself.
Speaker 3 (47:55):
I agree, Well that tune. It makes you independent. You
get to experience different things, and when they come home,
it makes it so much better because you're in a
good state and you you're happy.
Speaker 2 (48:06):
Yeah, no, for sure, Yeah, yeah, you can't. You can't
like turn your life off, live in the moment and
take it day by day.
Speaker 3 (48:19):
It's not that real. No, seriously, seriously, Well I think
that concludes today.
Speaker 1 (48:27):
It's a good one. It's a whole hour long. It's fine.
I have myself.
Speaker 2 (48:32):
Yeah no, but we will talk to you next week.
I hope you guys enjoyed our kind of improp too podcasts, because,
like I said, I woke up ten minutes before Heather text.
Speaker 1 (48:44):
Me was like, hey, are we still good for four?
And it's like ten o'clock in the morning here, I'm like.
Speaker 3 (48:48):
Fuck no, I would knock up with me, low, Ki
forgot because I've been on the phone with either Brock
or Arena all day. And then I was like, went
to Dicks, went on a walk.
Speaker 2 (48:58):
I was like, I was, I haven't heard from Brin
dead literally dead in my bed. Like but like to me,
like I feel like it shouldn't have been four yet,
Like it was ten o'clock in the morning, Like, how
is it already so late at your house?
Speaker 1 (49:12):
I don't know. I didn't think i'd sleep that.
Speaker 3 (49:13):
Long either today today flew. But I do think four
works great because if you get up and go to
the gym in the mornings and then I can just
recorded leave for dinner and it's not like at an
awkward like two thirty to where.
Speaker 2 (49:27):
Yeah, no, I agree, Like normally, if I was on
my normal schedule, I would have been home by the
like from the gym, like fine.
Speaker 3 (49:34):
So yeah, I think this is like a great time
because then like I feel like two thirty is just
hard because I like will go see Karen and just
like runs into everything or like whatever.
Speaker 1 (49:45):
You know, I agree. I just yeah, it was good,
it's good.
Speaker 3 (49:52):
Air was disgusting, but whatever, Okay, Well I'm gonna get
ready leave, so.
Speaker 1 (50:00):
Yeah, we'll see you guys later.
Speaker 3 (50:03):
Thumb nail fuck all right, let go. I never know
what to say back ideos Migo Peas Out Girls, Girl
jump in to the loading Watch Watch what
I had a near death experience. I saw the light
after that game, I realized that I need to like
change how I play.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
Like it's obviously it's not the same as a court,
Like I have to like slow my ass down.
Speaker 1 (00:12):
I can't be doing as much.
Speaker 3 (00:13):
And I was like, yeah, surely in the sand that blows.
Speaker 1 (00:17):
But not.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
My skin hates the sun now doesn't want to see
a second of the sun. Today, I had fun. I
guess it's all.
Speaker 3 (00:27):
Those Yeah, I was dead. Yeah, that definitely was what
my ass mm hmm.
Speaker 1 (00:36):
What's wild is you are tanner to me right now?
Speaker 3 (00:40):
It's fake.
Speaker 1 (00:41):
I just spent twelve hours in the sun, like Rain
and I.
Speaker 3 (00:45):
Have been laying in the tanning beds and I got
like a good base and I look so dark right now.
But I was at brox House all weekend, so I
decided Rain and I were talking earlier. I was like,
you know what, like I just like being dirty, Like
I just love being like hungover and like dirty. So
(01:06):
I'm just writing it out, but I desperately need to
like scrub some of this tand off, especially my face. Yeah.
I got my spray tan done Saturday and stood off
at brox House at like midnight, tried not to get
my face. Well, my face looked decent, like under my
eyes looked good because I cried off most of it
at your mom's house. But then I had like white
(01:29):
shit all over my face like it was a whole thing.
It was a whole thing. Okay, what are we talking
about today?
Speaker 1 (01:35):
I don't know. I just woke up like ten minutes ago.
Speaker 3 (01:38):
Open up the notes apps, see what we have cooking
in there?
Speaker 1 (01:41):
All right, speaking of speaking of, I'm gonna bring this
up again.
Speaker 2 (01:45):
Finished season two The Secret Lives of Warman Wives. Still
have no one to fucking talk to about it.
Speaker 3 (01:53):
Okay, I say this every week, but I'm I'm locking in.
I'm I'm gonna start watching it when I get ready
for work.
Speaker 1 (02:00):
It's too good. It's literally the drama eats me alive.
Speaker 3 (02:04):
Yeah, I'm sure, but I normally listen to a podcast
in the morning. I'll just start watching, like listening to that.
Speaker 2 (02:10):
Yeah, I need I need something here, all right, all right,
let's start with this. One's gonna be tough. Not tough,
but like I feel like we both have two different
(02:31):
like maybe not.
Speaker 1 (02:33):
I'll just fucking say it. Getting back with your ex
is it boulder dumb.
Speaker 3 (02:36):
Oh, this is so fitting, this is so great?
Speaker 1 (02:40):
Is it worth a second chance? Just yeah?
Speaker 2 (02:43):
See me personally, how I feel about this topic is
I wouldn't be here if I didn't get back with
my ex, Like I fully think in some cases it
can be deserving, but like I think, like also, you
just have to like read the room, you know what
I mean, Like if they're treating you like shit and
are throwing all these red flags, then actually like if
(03:06):
it if it ended not I don't want to say,
like nothing ends nicely, but like if it didn't end shitty,
then like I feel like they're still room to grow personally.
Speaker 1 (03:16):
Thank you.
Speaker 3 (03:17):
So I don't know, it's really hard just because I
do feel like everyone can change, Like I solely believe
that everyone can change. I just feel like like what
you said, like if they want to change, Like you
can't make somebody change if they don't want to. And
it's definitely, like definitely hard to decide, like if you
(03:40):
should get back together with them or if you should
just like let it be. Is like the boat I'm
currently sinking in right now, to.
Speaker 2 (03:48):
Take this ball off my dog before it starts squeaking
in the background.
Speaker 3 (03:53):
I don't know. I think honestly, I feel like to
even know is to like take a break, figure yourselves
out out, and then just go from that.
Speaker 2 (04:02):
Yeah, because like seriously, he and E weren't together for
two two and a half their years, like in between
like what we when we Like that was our breakup period,
and like he has told me time and time before,
like there were chances where he could have been with
people or like hooked up with people, and he just
(04:23):
like literally chose not to just because.
Speaker 1 (04:25):
That's not what he wanted, like he knew. And I
think I think that's like the time apart like really
helped that, you know.
Speaker 3 (04:32):
I feel like you just can't put a limit on
time though, no matter, Like I think it's good for
some people to like date other people, to realize, but
I also think it could be good just being in
like a no contact period of just like being loyal.
I don't know. I think it honestly is case by case,
(04:54):
Like if someone beat the shit out of you, then
like you should probably just give that up because that's
really hard to change.
Speaker 2 (05:00):
No, And I don't believe people will change from that,
Like that's like some serious I don't know, like that's
trauma that you're putting yourself through, and like the other
person obviously needs help, and those are the red flags
I'm talking about that you need to observe and like
obviously you should not get back with your ex if
like those things are popping up.
Speaker 3 (05:16):
I agree. I think it just depends on like honestly,
like who you ask, because my predicament at the very
moment is like like losing friendships over it, right, which
I don't want to do, But then I also have
to say true to myself.
Speaker 1 (05:31):
But I think I honestly think, like.
Speaker 2 (05:35):
Your case, nothing like freaking traumatic happened. I mean, like obviously,
like it wasn't like a great way to like end
things in a way, but like like everyone's fine, everyone's
like okay where they're at, So like friends aren't agreeing
with that, then, like.
Speaker 3 (05:53):
What like why you know what I mean, Like it
definitely didn't end how I imagined. I never thought it ended
at all. This is a really embarrassing if he listens
to these still, but whatever, I just like it definitely
could have ended better. But as of like today, we're
like in an okay spot. It's just so hard to
(06:17):
make the decision if someone truly deserves like a second chance.
Speaker 2 (06:21):
It's like literally sucks that you don't know a single thought,
like an actual true thought of what they're thinking. Like
you just like literally don't know. And that's like the
scariest thing about trusting.
Speaker 3 (06:33):
People literally have to completely start from rock bottom again
and like learn to trust each other and to just
like take each other's word. But I did talk to
your mom yesterday when I saw her, and she was like,
how they like, first of all, this is on brand,
so I'm not very surprised for me, Love you, Nick,
But she did say she did say people make mistakes
(06:56):
and it's not life altering, Like no one's lives were
at stake exactly. So she did say, like people make
mistakes if you give them another chance. But she was like,
I think you should. The year's gonna have to like
read the room and know when enough's enough because you
can only make a mistake once and after that that's
(07:17):
just who you are, right No.
Speaker 2 (07:19):
Because like seriously, the first like like when you get
back together with your ex and I'm not talking like
specifically you, just like anyone, you really got to be
cautious and like, seriously, the first thing that happens, you
cannot stay you like you just have to end it
because obviously things didn't change.
Speaker 1 (07:38):
And I don't know.
Speaker 3 (07:40):
I think too like going back, Why I agree, but
I think too going back to like the whole space
and time thing. I feel like, no matter what has happened,
like if you break up on good terms bad terms,
like the craziest thing, I truly think you need time alone,
like especially the person that got hurt, like the hurt
one that you just need space to get over the
(08:01):
resentment and to get over like the fact of like
what happened. Because personally, I cannot go back into a
relationship with resentment or hatred or like whatever it is,
because that's just not gonna help us. So I rather
take one month, two months, three months, three years to
fully be okay and to grow from this, so I
(08:23):
could give you like a fair chance, because if I
don't trust you, like, I'm not going to give you
a fair chance, and it's just gonna be toxic, right,
nobody wants that.
Speaker 2 (08:33):
No, I agree, and like for me and when when
he broke up with me, honestly I never had like
a hate towards him, But even like even if you
don't have that feeling. I think it's still good to
take that time because like you can grow and like
(08:54):
see exactly how you feel, like I don't know you,
just you like that like teaches you what you actually
want and whether the resentments there or not, Like yes,
if you do resent them, you do need to grow
and like figure out who you are and like what
you actually want and if you like actually just like
you dislike that person or it's just like the heat
(09:14):
in the moment, like oh, you fucking broke my heart,
Like I don't fucking like you. Yeah, I don't know,
but like I think people truly don't understand that, like
you do need to take time, like they I feel
like they're just like, oh, give it a week and
and we'll see where we Like, No, like we took
fucking yeah, we took like fucking three years. Like if
(09:38):
if you guys love each other, like, if you love
each other, it's not going to go away.
Speaker 3 (09:43):
That's not part where I'm at right now. I think
if someone can do you so dirty and you still
love them, like obviously you are not ready to be
like completely done and over it, yet like you still
love them so obviously you want to see where like
that could potentially go again. I think having time a
part shows you, like your own true intentions and how
much self control you have, and the other persons of
(10:05):
like if they're going out, if they're drinking, if they're
having sex with every single girl, Like I think that
just shows you, like what you truly want, Like do
I even think about you when you're not around? Do
I so love you? Do I feel the urge to
text you? And like the same on their end, like
do is this the life I want? Like like I
don't know. I'm not saying like test the limits and
(10:27):
like go have sex with some random person to see
if you still love your ex boyfriend. But I'm just saying, like.
Speaker 1 (10:31):
Put yourself out there, Yeah, put.
Speaker 3 (10:33):
Yourself out there, see how you feel, see who you
think of at the end of the day.
Speaker 2 (10:38):
Right, Like, even when you're doing something you enjoy by yourself,
if they're still in the back of your head, then
you're like thinking like, oh I wish they were here
with me, or like oh I should like text them, Like.
Speaker 3 (10:49):
Like then it's probably not over yet, right at least
I will say, yeah, it's on your side, so at
least for me. Then that's like when I worked up,
I was gonna hurt name dropping because I don't know
a fuck anymore when I when I dated Jesse, we
honestly probably should have never updated, at least on my own.
(11:11):
Definitely on my own. But I just feel like when
he was going through it, he definitely did not know
how to not take that out on me, and it's
like made us toxic essentially, which two people play a
role in that, Like I definitely wasn't the nicest person
either or like the easiest person to date. But it
(11:33):
come down to the point where like I wanted to
do my own thing. I wanted to get my lips filled,
I wanted to get my boobs done, Like I just
wanted to like go and experience different things. And he
was like, I want to sit at home, Like I
don't want you to get your lips filled, Like that's
fucking the sum Like why would you ever do that?
Like at that point, I knew, like if you can't
even support like my own personal like interests, like they're
(11:57):
like this is just never gonna work. So when we
broke up, like no, not even a thought in the
back of my mind because I knew that that was
not my person. But like, right, it's just so hard
right now because I envision this whole future with said person,
and now you're trying to like unconvince yourself and like
unimagine these things that you guys have talked about for
the last how many months? Right, So, but then again,
(12:19):
if I was on the other side of it, I'd
want a second chance. If it's always like reverse, like
everyone's always gonna want a second chance when they fuck up.
It's like human nature.
Speaker 2 (12:30):
Yeah, no, I agree, like a second chance. I feel
like it's always like redeemable. But after the second then
you're just like you're just dead to me. Yeah, it's
just like I gave you another chance to try and
change and prove yourself.
Speaker 1 (12:47):
Yes, And if you're.
Speaker 2 (12:48):
Not gonna take that second chance that I'm willing to
give you, then.
Speaker 1 (12:55):
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (12:56):
Yeah, because I feel like even if it's like like
I do, think you almost know in a week if
you want to be with them or not, Like you
still need to take the time, of course, right, but
if you truly want to be with that person, like
fucking up a second time just proves every other thought
in the back of my mind that is now proved
right right, Like there is no third chance, Like there
(13:20):
just can't be because at this point it's a habit.
You know, I'm going to take you back, Like we
all know how this is going to end, right, It's
just not fair to either of us.
Speaker 2 (13:30):
Well, no, and especially it's especially not fair to the
person giving the second chance, like you're potentially putting your
heart on the line again to be completely shattered and
like you're being generous enough to give that opportunity and
the other person's just gonna go and fuck it up.
Speaker 3 (13:50):
Absolutely not like and I'm sitting there.
Speaker 2 (13:52):
Telling you I've changed, I've done this, but then like
they fucking like that's so selfish.
Speaker 3 (13:58):
It's so selfish because obviously you don't even care about
your own self. You have no self respect, you have
no morals if you can sit here and like drag
me more than one time. But on a different note,
I feel the same exact way with friendships.
Speaker 1 (14:14):
Oh no, same, I feel.
Speaker 2 (14:16):
The honestly, like, Okay, so watch obviously The Secret Lives
of the Warm Lives season two, and something really struck
like it's stuck out to me, like one of the
girls was like for whatever reason, like friendships are fucking
harder than actual relationships because you have expectations in a
relationship and if obviously they don't meet those expectations.
Speaker 1 (14:38):
Like you're not gonna be with them.
Speaker 2 (14:40):
Whereas friendships it's like not as like like you don't
really set expect like you have like a few small
ones kind of like obviously you want to be like
have things in common and like you know, like in
that sort of way, but you don't have expectations because
you're not like in a relationship with that person. So
then like I feel like friendships can just fall apart
(15:01):
so easily because like it's brutal.
Speaker 3 (15:05):
It's easy to avoid in a friendship, yeah, because you're
not you have you owe well essentially you owe that
person nothing, so if they do something too, they don't
really owe you an explanation. But it's just really hard
to like be honest with your friend. I think it's
harder to be honest with your friend than it is
(15:26):
your boyfriend because you made that commitment to them, which
I honestly feel the same about my friends. Like if
something's bothering you, like I hope my friends know that
they can just like bring it up and right understanding
and we could make it work. But I just feel
like if I'm doing everything to be the best friend
and to go a place with you and like do
(15:48):
whatever and take you places and we're like hanging out
all the time, then you like wrong me, Like I
it like it happens, like I'm sure I've said shit
about everybody that I don't mean right, never meant to
hurt anyone's feelings. I just think like after a couple
of times, it's like, okay, the film works both ways.
If you can't text me and ask me how I am,
(16:09):
Like I'm not going to text you. If you can't
check in on me after a breakup, I'm probably not
gonna want to talk to you.
Speaker 2 (16:16):
So yeah, no, And those are like the selfish people
in this world that like truly only think about themselves
and like text and benefit when.
Speaker 1 (16:26):
Like it's beneficial to them. So and that's like so shitty.
Speaker 3 (16:30):
I agree, I agree.
Speaker 1 (16:33):
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (16:34):
I don't know. I just think I think friendships are
honestly like more heartbreaking then.
Speaker 2 (16:38):
No, it is, because like you want, I don't know,
friendships and relationships like are two different, like bonds in
a way, and like friendships you want to trust them,
like like seriously everything, and just like I don't know,
like obviously you want the same in a relationship.
Speaker 3 (16:51):
But like, no, I know what you're saying though, like
like being a friend, like you are making a commitment,
and it honestly makes me really like sad that knowing
that some of my friends don't support giving second chances
in any case, your your friends are supposed to be
there for you to like lean on. So if I
can't talk to you and I feel like you don't care,
(17:11):
I'm honestly just not gonna talk at all because I
want my friends to be there and to support me
no matter what. Like that's what you signed up for
when you are each other's friends, right.
Speaker 2 (17:22):
Or like even if you I feel like it's awful
too whenever you are in a situation and you just
like want to lean on someone or someone's like opinion
on something and you feel like as if like you
can't go to them because you're getting to be judged
or like.
Speaker 1 (17:39):
Just like looked at differently, I guess in.
Speaker 2 (17:41):
A way, And that's what like really sucks because then
like you almost have like a feeling of like loneliness
and like Okay, so like what the fuck did Like
I don't have anyone to talk to like about this,
and like what the fuck do I do?
Speaker 3 (17:55):
And I think to a point, I mean, I don't
want my friends to feed into like my delusion if
like something I'm doing is like terrible and there's like
red flags all around it, like ex boyfriends are just
any situation. But if I'm like trying to tell you
like both sides of whatever situation is going on, and
you still can't just sit and talk or at least
(18:17):
just listen, yeah, I think it's shitty. I do think
it's shitty because like what like what like why are
we friends if I can't depend on you?
Speaker 2 (18:25):
Mm hmm yeah, No, I will not be keeping anyone
around just to have around for what shits and gigs.
Speaker 1 (18:33):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (18:34):
I'm like I'm not saying like relationships are like draining
or exhausting, but it's like not worth Like I don't know.
I enjoy having like obviously my husband and then like
two or three friends maybe to talk to, Like I
don't I don't want a million friends, Like I enjoy
the amount that I have and like I like putting
(18:56):
effort into those friendships, and I'm not gonna just like
string another person along.
Speaker 1 (19:03):
Just to have another friend, Like.
Speaker 2 (19:05):
I don't know, like you have to put work into friendships,
and like I'm not I'm not gonna do that for
someone that I'm just like eh.
Speaker 3 (19:13):
Or me too. At that point, I just will never
talk to you again. Like I do love a tight
small circle when everyone gets along and everyone's in group
chats and we're all doing things together and we all
can like like each other's boyfriends and husband and like
just like that, I want to pour everything into because
I would want the same. But when it comes to
(19:35):
like I've made one new friend since we've graduated high school,
and that is Giovanna, and I love that girl to death,
but I just am not looking for like new friends
to like pour my energy into when like I think
it just gets messy. Like I think it's good like
if you click with somebody, but I'd rather just pour
(19:57):
my energy energy into like my closed childhood.
Speaker 1 (20:00):
Right.
Speaker 3 (20:00):
Friends, Well, they.
Speaker 2 (20:04):
Understand everything you've like already been through. They understand like
they I don't know, they just like get who you are.
And I think that's another reason why I'm like struggling
so much to like I guess make friends here in
a way because like I just don't want to put
my time or energy into new friendships when I have
(20:27):
really good friendships back home, because like it's like I have.
Speaker 1 (20:32):
To start all over, like no one knows me.
Speaker 2 (20:34):
I have to like I don't have to explain my
story of who I am.
Speaker 1 (20:39):
But then again, they don't know anything about me, yeah,
which which.
Speaker 2 (20:43):
Isn't it an excuse because like I can't, like, you
guys are over one thousand miles away from me, I
can't like hang out with you guys, and my friendships
shouldn't just be over the phone. But then again, like
I just like don't want to, like it's like so
much work and like to start all over again with
the friendship is just like starting from scratch with a
(21:04):
relationship and it's just something I don't want to do
because I haven't had it so long.
Speaker 3 (21:10):
It's almost draining. And I think it's like making friends
and like seeing different people because like that definitely is
helping your mental health and like even your mom said
that yesterday, But I just think personally, I don't have
the best backstory opening up and telling people that it's
just like I don't want to because new friends will
(21:32):
judge you instantly, and I think it's hard to really
get to a place with somebody new and like clicking
with somebody and just like them taking you for like
who you are, right, it's legit like a relationship, Like
you have to get over the awkward little things. And
I didn't have to do that this time around, because
(21:53):
don't end told everyone that my mom kicked me out
of my house and had to move me into my dad's.
He did the dirty work for me. Thanks, thank you, thanks,
thank you. Really appreciate that. Wouldn't want that done any
other way.
Speaker 1 (22:10):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, fuck.
Speaker 2 (22:12):
Just like talking about it is like exhausting, like if
that makes I don't even know if that makes sense,
just like the idea of annoying friendships and like stuff
like that.
Speaker 3 (22:21):
No, it honestly is so exhausting, especially when you're already
going through it, like you are so far away and
you don't ask for much and people still can't show
up for you. Is it pisses me off? And it's wild,
It's insane.
Speaker 2 (22:36):
It's really crazy, honestly though, Like I'm like grateful for
that because it does show like where people's like priorities
are and if that's where it stands, and I guess
I don't need need that in my life.
Speaker 3 (22:49):
So I agree. I think it too. It really shows
like the whole friend groups dynamic, because Reena and I
got really close with you being gone, and we really
lean on each other, yeah, over the fact that you're gone,
and we like always make sure someone is like checking
in on you or just talking to you in general.
Speaker 2 (23:08):
Right, Well, I like, I'm so glad, Like obviously it
sucks that I'm here, and like I can't be with
you guys, But then at the same time, like, I'm
so glad that you guys have each other because I know,
like there for the longest time, Rena like didn't have anyone.
Speaker 1 (23:24):
And obviously neither did you, Like you didn't.
Speaker 2 (23:27):
Have anyone too, and like you guys were both texting
me like what.
Speaker 1 (23:31):
The fuck come home? Like who am I supposed to
hang out with?
Speaker 2 (23:34):
I don't hang out with anyone like I need, And
so like, I'm glad that you guys are like obviously
getting closer and like friends now because I like it.
Speaker 1 (23:44):
It does suck, Like.
Speaker 3 (23:46):
No, it really does suck, and I almost feel guilty
in a way. Because you're gone and we like are
with each other all the time. But I did not
know she was so lonely for so long. Like she
just told me about this the other day because Buck,
I think Brock said love you guys, or like I
said love you guys. Someone said something and she was like,
you guys love me and we were like yes, Rina,
(24:08):
Like yeah.
Speaker 1 (24:10):
Such an idiot.
Speaker 3 (24:11):
Sometimes she's so funny, but it definitely does help knowing
that there's someone else that like relates even though you're
so far. I'd rather have you home and I rather
as all be friends.
Speaker 1 (24:24):
But right, no, no, I get it, definitely. I don't
know crazy world.
Speaker 3 (24:31):
Yeah, I'm currently going through all this slip gloss and
throwing it away. I'm sitting here, but my lips are
burn't I bet. I just think like I think, relationships
are hard and friendships are just as hard, and that
says enough. That will tell you everything you need to
know if someone's even willing to No, yeah.
Speaker 1 (24:54):
They're hard enough as is.
Speaker 2 (24:56):
So if you're just gonna be in that relationship, like
whatever relationship it is is, if you're just in there
trying to make it more hard than fucking leave, like
it's they literally already have their struggles and complications as is,
and if you're just gonna be toxic and make it
even harder, then it's not worth it.
Speaker 3 (25:17):
No, And like I think love is a vicious cycle
to some, so like if you truly like, don't tell
me you love me unless you're gonna be here and
ride or die.
Speaker 2 (25:27):
For me, right, Well that's that's I mean for me
that those words don't come out just and I feel
like a lot of people it's just very easy and
like maybe habit for them to say because like even
like there have been times, like I like, there have
been people I'm not gonna say this like on here,
but like there have been a lot of people that
(25:49):
are just like are a hugger And I don't mind hugging,
but yeah, no, not really much of a hugger, but
like there's a lot of people around me that are
huggers and that like will be like I love you,
and like I just a lot of those people I
just like haven't reached the level of where I feel
(26:10):
the need to say it. But then like it's like
messed up if I don't say it because they said it,
so then like I'm cringing, making it come out like
it's I don't know. Like to me, that means a
lot more than I think most people would think.
Speaker 1 (26:23):
And so if you if you get it out of me,
then fuck, I guess.
Speaker 3 (26:27):
You're around long.
Speaker 1 (26:30):
Yeah, I guess you're just a decent person in my eyes.
If I'm saying it to you, because it's really hard.
Speaker 3 (26:36):
I second that. And no one really throws it around
like often, like I don't just tell my friends I
love them for like fun, like it's like no, I
love you, No.
Speaker 2 (26:47):
I like genuinely have to feel it, like it's one
of those things. If I don't feel it, then it
just like I cringe saying it.
Speaker 3 (26:54):
But I also don't say it often I just think, like,
obviously I love you, I love my friends, but I
just am not like a lovey Dobbie show. So I'm
probably not gonna tell you. You know what, I fear.
Speaker 2 (27:07):
I actually fear that is a sign of our how
we grew up.
Speaker 3 (27:11):
Though yes, I agree, because when I get into relationships
and people tell me they love me, I'm like, okay,
Like when people hug me, I'm like, please, don't like
I hug rock By like a couple of weeknds ago,
and I was like, I don't hug, like I like,
I hugg Reena Bye, I hug rock By Jackie Bye.
And I'm like I told them all. I was like,
I actually hate hugging people. I hate cuddling. I hate
(27:32):
hugging people. Like the only person I genuinely like cuddling
with his brand shut up. But even then, we don't hug.
Speaker 1 (27:41):
Yeah, don't cuddle, just cuddle.
Speaker 3 (27:43):
Yeah, we just got we don't hug. But yeah, I
just I just don't. I don't. I just don't hug.
I just don't hug. I just don't like to hug.
We don't need to hug.
Speaker 1 (27:54):
But this is that's so funny because I was thinking
this the other day.
Speaker 2 (27:58):
Like when I go play ball on the weekend, I
mean during the week in the gym, everyone there is like.
Speaker 1 (28:07):
Filipino or like Mexican, and you know, I went out
with them one time.
Speaker 2 (28:13):
And now like when you walk in, when I walk in,
or when everyone when they walk in, they like every
single person like comes up and hugs me.
Speaker 1 (28:21):
But like they're all huggers. And I don't know these
people and they're just like we'reen like so good and
I'm like okay, hi, yeah, like hell, like why are
you hugging me?
Speaker 2 (28:31):
Like yeah, I don't like I like you guys, like
you guys are so sweet, but like why, like I
don't come from like a hugging like I don't know
if that's like their culture, like I know, like I
know when we were in Spanish class.
Speaker 1 (28:44):
We remember we were in Spanish class.
Speaker 2 (28:45):
And Thornton was like, hugging is like so big, like
that's what they do, like they are just so like friendly,
and I guess that's kind of like probably what it is,
but we're like I'm not.
Speaker 3 (28:56):
No, I'm not either, And I truly think it's because
of how we grew up, because like Jackie's a big
like love you by, be careful person. I'm just like okay, bye,
but like I love you. I'm like okay, like we
live off thee Like yeah, I don't know. I think
it's I think it's hard, and I think that's where
(29:17):
some second chances circling back and relationships just aren't supposed
to work if you guys have come from such completely
different families and you're holding like the expectation like so
unbelievably high, and I do think you can like adapt
two different things and you can like become different people
out of like your family. I just think it's really
(29:38):
hard when you are so old to really like change
your ways, especially when it comes to something that you've
never had.
Speaker 1 (29:46):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (29:47):
So I think that it's like knowing what you want,
knowing what they want, trying to find a happy medium
to where you both are happy is really hard. And
that's when you need to take the time. And it'swain.
It's if you're breaking up, it's not working. Yeah, I
gotta take the time to figure out what you want,
what you don't want, and what you want from them.
Speaker 2 (30:05):
Seriously, honestly, if anyone takes anything from this podcast, it's.
Speaker 3 (30:10):
Take your time.
Speaker 1 (30:11):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (30:12):
In all reality, what is five months compared to your
whole entire life? No, that's seriously, And I mean you're
not sitting at home like sad and upsead and like
not going out and not doing things like I'm doing
everything that i want to do still in respect of
like a relationship, I'm still I'm seeing my friends, Like
(30:35):
I'm going wherever like concerts like you name it. Like
I'm still doing what i want, but I'm taking that
time from them to really figure it out, right, and
like if I go my whole summer just being in
this in between whatever, like I'm not wasting time because
there's nothing I don't there's nothing I want to do
that I can't do in a relationship, right, Like I'm
(30:57):
out of that phase. I don't have sex with everybody.
I don't want to run around like I don't. I
don't want that. I don't want that at all. So
it's like I'm totally fine like giving time and if
you're not okay and you want to do these things
and you need to like reevaluate and text that person
and be like, Okay, this is just not what I one.
Speaker 2 (31:13):
Anymore, right, I mean yeah, no, I agree, And honestly,
like even like for me, like I don't even think
three years like of time was like a lot because
like right now we're married and have the rest of
our lives, so like what was three years of time?
Speaker 1 (31:30):
You know what I mean?
Speaker 2 (31:31):
Like you it's like real like in the moment when
you're going and you're down bad and you like all
you want is to be with that person, Yes, it
feels like the longest time of your life you have,
like three years like what the fuck.
Speaker 1 (31:44):
But like it's like truly not that long.
Speaker 3 (31:46):
No, it's truly not especially if you really want it,
you should be willing to give the time because, like
I said, you don't want to jump back into something
if you're not ready, because if you an Eve, for example,
like got back together too soon, like you guys might
not be married right now, like it might have just
not have worked. But I think, like you just can't
force things and you just have to let the universe
(32:07):
decide for you. And like if it works out and
you guys run into each other or whatever happens, like
then you know, like okay, like maybe it's meant to
because we're not forcing each other to be where we
don't want to be.
Speaker 1 (32:20):
Yeah, exactly, I agree.
Speaker 3 (32:25):
More than anything, it feels like a long time when
you're in it.
Speaker 2 (32:28):
Yeah, like like right in the cycle of it, it's
it really is like a heart like.
Speaker 3 (32:35):
You don't know, but it'll goes faster than.
Speaker 2 (32:40):
You think, like seriously, no, and like at the end
of the day, like it's funny after the fact, like honestly,
like it makes me laugh, but it just is gonna
take time, right and then it'll be like a joke
like it's fine.
Speaker 3 (32:54):
Fine, laugh it off, goodness, goodness, crazy shows.
Speaker 2 (32:58):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, because I think back to like when
you broke up with me and how stupidly down bad.
Speaker 1 (33:06):
I was like, oh.
Speaker 3 (33:06):
My god, dude, it's it's something because I feel it
every now and again. But I know, like the end
is near, the end is near.
Speaker 2 (33:17):
No, seriously, yep, everyone will be fine. Just take a breath,
be calm.
Speaker 3 (33:22):
No, Honestly, Like I just tell myself at least three
times a day, like it's not that real. It's not
that deep, no matter what happens with any relationship, friendship,
Like my world's not gonna stop, life's gonna move on,
new doors are gonna open. It's not that real. It's fine.
Like what you do when you're twenty Jackie Toy this today.
(33:44):
She was like, what you do when you're twenty does
not matter. It's a canon event. Shit happens your twenty.
Like what you do is not gonna be on your tombstone,
not who you are, not who you you're gonna be,
not who you date, not who you've dated, not what
you had in life. So you just have to like
live life for you and do what you can.
Speaker 2 (34:04):
No, and like also obviously not in like a relationship
type of way, like because I'm married and everything, but
like even moving here has like really opened my eyes
and like it should like obviously you don't see it
as much, but like it's opened my eyes so much
(34:25):
that there are so many people in this world, so
many good people, so many like fish in the sea,
like you know what I mean, Like.
Speaker 1 (34:33):
There are so many amazing people in this world.
Speaker 2 (34:38):
And like obviously for you, like you're not stuck, but
like you are in like the same place where you've
always been, like not too many people to meet, but like,
holy shit, like you go like one stayed across and
you could meet like literally the best person like in
your life.
Speaker 3 (34:57):
I agree, And I think that's always in the back
of everybody's not you, but like everyone's minds of like
if they don't change, like it's it's not the end
of the world. Because I've said this podcast on podcasts
ago time after time. There will always be somebody better.
There will always be someone better, and not in a
rude way, but like somebody better for you that's gonna
(35:18):
meet your sirs and meet your needs, and there's also
gonna be someone better for the other person. Like it's
not like, oh they're downgrading there, I'm praying on their downfall,
like I'm eighteen or sixteen.
Speaker 2 (35:28):
Like what like matches best with your personality and like
who's gonna like who can literally like understand you best
and all that, Like it's more than just like he
gets me flowers every freaking day and like you know
what I mean, Like it's more than those things of
like like you did better or whatever.
Speaker 3 (35:46):
Yeah, I just think like a connection can be better,
and there's just always going to be not always Like
that sounds like terrible, like you could just like jump
from person person and like keep finding better. I just
think like if it's truly not working out, your son's coming,
like someone else is gonna come and you're gonna meet
that person and be with them for the rest of
your lives. So even if this ends terribly for anybody, there's.
Speaker 1 (36:14):
So many people in the world. Yeah, there's so many people.
Speaker 3 (36:17):
So many people that would like drop everything, yeah to
wrong you, to consider you it every waking second of
the day.
Speaker 1 (36:25):
And it feels like I I know, I know, I know,
I know, I know. It feels like no, they're.
Speaker 3 (36:31):
The one, like I don't want anyone else.
Speaker 2 (36:34):
Like, no, shut the fuck up, because someone's gonna be
out here in this world, like ready to be on
their freaking knees, like kissing you at your feet, like,
shut the fuck up, move on, like they're not like.
Speaker 3 (36:45):
Far after so much time and after so many chances,
like you really have to lock in and be like, Okay,
this is not for me. This is not for me
one for one second. Someone else is gonna come along
to get what you want for Rena.
Speaker 2 (37:01):
Yeah, and you're going to be so happy, like you're
not going to be put through whatever this person is
putting you through.
Speaker 3 (37:08):
Now, It's just it's not it's not. I mean, it's
life changing from experience, it is life, but it's not
it's not world ending. Like no, there's so much more
than a fucking boyfriend to look forward to, like your friends, work, hobbies,
if you're going to school, Like there's so much more
to put your effort and time into than sitting here
(37:30):
and for somebody to change obviously could not give a fuck.
Speaker 2 (37:33):
Lass No, I agree, and like for me to see it,
I also think like like why so, like if you're
in a shitty relationship and like say you're like broken
up and you're like thinking about giving them a second chance.
Well scratch the second chances. But like let's just say,
like there's no second chances. Person's done with you, but
they also didn't treat you the best, Like why wouldn't
(37:54):
you as a person like me personally, Like I, why
wouldn't you want to find that person that's gonna treat
you so well? Like I would be like fighting for that,
like literally like searching the ends of the earth because
there's someone out there. I know, damn while there's someone
out there, so like fuck that person that like treated
you like shit, seriously, Like I would be fighting for
(38:19):
the deaths to find this person that's meant for me.
Speaker 3 (38:23):
I agree. I think it just comes with like the
lack of self worth honestly, because like the like relationships
like that just like beat you down. But I do
think on the other side of that, like if that
person is showing you like exactly what you want and
what you deserve for like an X amount of time,
like okay, cool, But at the same time, like you said,
there's so many people out there, and the right one's
gonna fall into your lap, Like it's just gonna happen,
(38:45):
and at that point, you can't run away from it
because you know they're perfect, you know they're everything, and
you're not gonna have to ask for simple things like
they're just gonna understand and just.
Speaker 1 (38:54):
Yeah, they're literally just going to do it.
Speaker 3 (38:56):
No, you don't have to die, and it's.
Speaker 1 (38:59):
Going to blow your mind.
Speaker 2 (39:00):
You're actually probably going to think there's something wrong because
of how well it's going and.
Speaker 1 (39:05):
How well they understand you. But like, in reality, it's
just you've like found.
Speaker 3 (39:09):
Your person, agreed. I think, honestly, my thought is conned.
I think if someone wants to change, it's fine, But
if you have to keep asking someone to change, like
there's a really good chance that they're going to change, yeah,
and then resort back. And I'm not like, no one
should have to sit bight and be like I want
you to be this person when they're like if it's
(39:30):
like you're investing this person and you love this person,
but you're not in love with this person. There's someone
else out there that you can be in love with
that you don't have to like beg to change, Like
you like, no one should have to change, right unless
they want to, And it's not like drastic because at
that point, it's like, then who are you even in
love with?
Speaker 1 (39:47):
Like like you fully change a person?
Speaker 2 (39:51):
Yeah no, at that point, like literally just leave and
try to find the person that you obviously you want
wanted in that person.
Speaker 3 (40:01):
I just think at that point, like they're just gonna
find you when you're ready. It's just gonna be like
you're just gonna click.
Speaker 1 (40:08):
Yeah no, I agree, I agree.
Speaker 3 (40:10):
I'm tired, dude.
Speaker 1 (40:12):
Same well.
Speaker 3 (40:16):
Closing thoughts sorry I was waiting for you. My closing
thoughts are just give yourself grace. It's fine if you
give them a second chance and they blow it. It's
fine to lose friends over it it, Like it is
fine to forgive people and to cut people off, is
what I'm learning. And if you like get back with
this person and everyone hates you and you need someone
(40:37):
to lean on after like texture friends, if you miss
some text them, put it out on the table, like
it's okay to be vulnerable. You'll survive. And if it's
not for you the world because it is not that real, great,
I'm gonna get that tattooed on me. Like it's not
it's never that real.
Speaker 1 (40:55):
It's not that real.
Speaker 3 (40:57):
Not it's never that real.
Speaker 2 (40:59):
Yeah, no, just no, You're worth know what you You
just need to do it for yourself.
Speaker 3 (41:04):
You have to be you have to go to live
with it. So don't do something you don't want to do,
or don't force something, or don't not do something because
you're scared of being judged. Like, just do what you
can live with because at the end of the day,
this is your life and you have to live with it,
and you have to live with it, like it's your life.
You have to live with it. And if you lose
(41:25):
friendships over it, then they're probably they're not friendships. No,
they're they're not friendships.
Speaker 1 (41:31):
Yup. Wow, this got juicy.
Speaker 3 (41:34):
Yeah. I just think it's okay to outgrow friends, even relationships,
Like it's fine, Like not everyone is supposed to be
in your life from the day you're born to.
Speaker 1 (41:42):
The day you die. No, I agree.
Speaker 2 (41:45):
The amount of friendships that I've outgrown, Like seriously, I
think about this all the time, about the name drop,
Like not in a bad way, not in a bad way,
but like I was best friends, like really really close
with michaeleb Evans.
Speaker 3 (41:58):
I knew you were gonna say that.
Speaker 2 (42:00):
And like I mean I actually text her the other day.
It actually it's been a while, it's been like a
month and a half. But like honestly, just like cause
like I feel like we didn't end like our friendship
in a bad way. We kind of literally just grew
apart in I like literally just text her to see
like how her life was, and like, I don't know,
it's just so weird to think that, like that was
my best friend at one point, and like, I don't know,
(42:24):
it's crazy to think about like all the friendships like
I used to be really really close with and just
like outgrown and it like it didn't We just like
literally just went our separate ways.
Speaker 3 (42:35):
Which I think is good too, because I just think
when you're like growing up and finding yourself, you just
don't click the same way like you used to. But
then it also is like if you really want that friendship,
h like, then you just have to like make it
not make it work, like that our friendship could end
so easy because you're a thousand miles away, right, but
(42:57):
like we don't want to outgoate like we saw stuff.
Like you're married, you do like everything that I don't do,
and I do everything that you don't do right, So
it's hard to relate, but at the same time, we
want to be each other's friends.
Speaker 1 (43:11):
Right, And I still feel like we can relate on
a lot of things.
Speaker 3 (43:15):
But yeah, definitely lot.
Speaker 1 (43:17):
Not really, I don't know, I don't know.
Speaker 2 (43:20):
Yeah, No, Like I feel like we have like kind
of the same sense of humor, and I feel like that,
honestly is enough for a friendship. So like if you
really wanted to last, then you won't make it last.
Whereas like me and Mikaela, we like neither of us
really fought for it, so like we did just go
our separate ways.
Speaker 1 (43:36):
Yeah, and that's like, Okay.
Speaker 3 (43:39):
I think it's good though, not to be the same person,
because if one thing bothers me, it's when people fucking
copy me, like like you're and there, like cool same,
but when it is every last thing, I'm like, oh
my god, can you please be your fucking own person. No,
And g Reena and I were talking and I was like,
(43:59):
Brock told us, he was like, there's no way I
ever thought that you guys would be as good as
friends as you are, because you guys are such different people,
which we are, but we have the same, like sense
of humor, like we are like in some ways. But
Rina's like I'm gonna whoop your ass. Yeah I'm not,
I'm gonna yell at you. But like she's like wife, wife, wife,
(44:23):
and like me too. But like I don't know when
it just comes to like those things, like it's just like, Okay,
we're different, but we also have the same thoughts. Like
she's like, I gave so and so a second chance,
like I think you should.
Speaker 1 (44:35):
Yeah, but like I don't know.
Speaker 3 (44:37):
I think it's good to be different.
Speaker 2 (44:39):
No, I agree, it brings different perspectives to like the table.
But then at the same time, if you guys have
like the same morals, like I think that just builds
like a really strong friendship just because you obviously you
think the same, but like have different experiences that can
like help each other and whatnot.
Speaker 3 (44:56):
And so I think if I was friends with the
person that was exact like me, I think I would
just butt heads with them all the time and there'd
be nothing to talk about.
Speaker 1 (45:04):
Yeah, no, I agree, No, yeah, literally.
Speaker 3 (45:09):
Mm hm, staying boring shit, massive spray tands smell.
Speaker 1 (45:12):
I'm gonna have to go shower, and yeah, I'm.
Speaker 3 (45:15):
Gonna go to dinner. Get to the gym, and then
I give the gym.
Speaker 1 (45:21):
Today I'm not I'm not functioning today. I'm done, so
tomorrow zoom. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (45:29):
No, seriously, but I hope someone someone took something from this, anyone, anybody.
Speaker 1 (45:36):
I took something from this, Me too, Me too.
Speaker 3 (45:40):
I think one last little closing thought, I think everyone's
scared of just living in the moment, like, just take
it day by day. Take no, I agree, take it.
Speaker 2 (45:52):
I think I should get that tattooed on my forehead
because that is my.
Speaker 1 (45:57):
That is my saving grace. Especially with being gone.
Speaker 2 (46:00):
I'm just like, take it day by day, take whatever
whatever happens, happens, just.
Speaker 1 (46:05):
Take it by the hour, Like take it by the minute.
It's like, if.
Speaker 3 (46:09):
You're having a good day, take it for what it's worth.
If you wake up and feel like shit tomorrow, like
it's like there's a new day, take it day by day.
Speaker 2 (46:16):
Well, I honestly love like the quote that it's like
you have to have bad days in order to have
good days, because like if you didn't have the bad days,
like what the fuck would the good days be?
Speaker 3 (46:28):
No, it just doesn't give you like anything to like appreciate, Right, Yeah,
I think My honest biggest downfall is wanting to play
in the future and thinking ahead, but then I miss
so much because I'm constantly thinking about like what should
I do, who should I be? Where should I go?
Should I be? Where should I where should I be?
Like putting my time into But I think, honestly, like
(46:50):
I just have to take it day by day or
I'm just gonna ruin every single day thinking about should
I control well?
Speaker 2 (46:56):
And like literally that's the same with me, Like I
have the end date of like when I can Like
I feel like most people, at least like military spouses
like have this, like when they're significant others deployed, they
have this date when they're coming home and they're like, Okay,
that date is when I can be happy again. Like
this is what I'm like it, But like, no, you're
wasting your time, like you are still living in between
(47:18):
this time. You literally just have to take it day
by day and like still be your own person, like
go do fun things, because like you're wasting your life
being miserable if you're waiting for that day for them
to come back and so you can be happy again.
Speaker 3 (47:33):
Yeah, I feel like at that point, it's like you're
finding your happiness and someone else rather than al show yourself. Right, No,
just not healthy.
Speaker 1 (47:41):
That's seriously so sad to me.
Speaker 2 (47:42):
But like, and don't get me wrong, there's like it's
fine to have bad days like and literally like wish that,
but like you can't, like it can't be all the time.
Speaker 1 (47:53):
You have to literally live for yourself.
Speaker 3 (47:55):
I agree, Well that tune. It makes you independent. You
get to experience different things, and when they come home,
it makes it so much better because you're in a
good state and you you're happy.
Speaker 2 (48:06):
Yeah, no, for sure, Yeah, yeah, you can't. You can't
like turn your life off, live in the moment and
take it day by day.
Speaker 3 (48:19):
It's not that real. No, seriously, seriously, Well I think
that concludes today.
Speaker 1 (48:27):
It's a good one. It's a whole hour long. It's fine.
I have myself.
Speaker 2 (48:32):
Yeah no, but we will talk to you next week.
I hope you guys enjoyed our kind of improp too podcasts, because,
like I said, I woke up ten minutes before Heather text.
Speaker 1 (48:44):
Me was like, hey, are we still good for four?
And it's like ten o'clock in the morning here, I'm like.
Speaker 3 (48:48):
Fuck no, I would knock up with me, low, Ki
forgot because I've been on the phone with either Brock
or Arena all day. And then I was like, went
to Dicks, went on a walk.
Speaker 2 (48:58):
I was like, I was, I haven't heard from Brin
dead literally dead in my bed. Like but like to me,
like I feel like it shouldn't have been four yet,
Like it was ten o'clock in the morning, Like, how
is it already so late at your house?
Speaker 1 (49:12):
I don't know. I didn't think i'd sleep that.
Speaker 3 (49:13):
Long either today today flew. But I do think four
works great because if you get up and go to
the gym in the mornings and then I can just
recorded leave for dinner and it's not like at an
awkward like two thirty to where.
Speaker 2 (49:27):
Yeah, no, I agree, Like normally, if I was on
my normal schedule, I would have been home by the
like from the gym, like fine.
Speaker 3 (49:34):
So yeah, I think this is like a great time
because then like I feel like two thirty is just
hard because I like will go see Karen and just
like runs into everything or like whatever.
Speaker 1 (49:45):
You know, I agree. I just yeah, it was good,
it's good.
Speaker 3 (49:52):
Air was disgusting, but whatever, Okay, Well I'm gonna get
ready leave, so.
Speaker 1 (50:00):
Yeah, we'll see you guys later.
Speaker 3 (50:03):
Thumb nail fuck all right, let go. I never know
what to say back ideos Migo Peas Out Girls, Girl
jump in to the loading Watch Watch what
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