June 1, 2023 • 53 mins
In our latest episode, King and Jasmine give us a glimpse into the world of swingers, talking about the great and the bad. For those of you who are curious about how things work in this real, get a first hand guide of how to handle your first time in a swingers club. Follow this advice, and you will be swinging in no time! If you enjoyed this episode, make sure you go back and catch the previous episodes and subscribe to be notified of new episodes!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:01):
Well, Papa Fister g right,So what was your favorite part of Kink
(00:22):
and Costa Rica. Okay, first, let me get it in my head
that I cannot say names. No, you can't say names, not even
nicknames. Nope, not even nicknames. Okay, so you didn't say who
are my favorite favorite things to dowith the people there? Okay, favorite
(00:42):
thing's favorite things? Because everything,oh my gosh, the food, every
meal amazing, every man was amazing. But the part that there were so
many favorite parts. But I thinkone of the parts um that was like
was hearing someone say I want thisand then turning around and it happening,
(01:08):
and someone saying I have things Ifeel like if I say anything else,
I can't say what my favorite partswere, Yes you can, I can't?
Can I? Yeah, well canyou do it? How I did,
like, I'll know, they'll know. I really enjoyed when people came
(01:30):
back to their senses and were thankfulfor what was given. Mmm. I
enjoyed when everybody was watching me bythe pool mhm for a very long time,
very long time. I went.I was watching for a long time,
(01:51):
and then I was like, youknow what, he's busy. I
can go take a shower and havelike, Okay, I can have this
like adult alone shower that I haven'thad in a long time years And when
(02:12):
I got out and I just knew, like when I got out, you
would be like you'd be like,oh, hey, that's like he's still
at the pool. Yeah, thatwas some broke night by the pool.
M M. And then repaying theperson who do I don't know what I
(02:37):
can and can't say. I don'twant nobody to be feeling like you know
what I'm saying. But for everybodywho is just tuning in, you know
what I'm saying. We did Kinkand Costa Rica. It's our first time
going there, and if you missedit, you fucked up time. Well
you don't suck up that back becauseguess what we're going again. But the
reason I wanted to start with thisquestion is we were going to talk about
(03:00):
etiquette for swingers, parties, events, someone and such. For I know
you had a better title for itthan me, but the title is right
below. But like I think wejust shared one of the like key etiquette
(03:23):
is privacy confidentiality, right, andit's like we can share our experience without
sharing anyone else's experience and sharing theirname or descript round information and all that
other kind of shit that sometimes peopledo. And I feel like that is
like if this was like Biggie's tenCrack Commandments of Swingers parties and shit,
(03:50):
you know what I'm saying, Likethat's that's one of the first ones you
tell people, is like, don'tdisrespect people's privacy, Like privacy is paramount
because that's what's making people comfortable toeven be able to show up, to
engage and all of that, youknow what I'm saying, And you know,
(04:12):
safety, but that goes with allsexual exploits, not even specifically.
I'm just like smaller from ear toierbecause there's like so many good for such
a short period of time. Therewas some really really amazing moment. The
mummification though top notch. It wastop notch mummification at a party. I
(04:32):
can't say I've ever been to anyparty or event with that much mummification.
There was a lot of mummification goingon. There was some evaculation going on
to so okay, so swinging andthe etiquette around swinging. We wouldn't we
wouldn't have thought of this topic ifthere weren't folks who do some really like
(04:56):
dumb shit. Yeah, so likewhat is okay? So we're off kicking
Costa Rica for now. Um,what are some things in your experience and
your experiences with swinging that you werelike, how do you not know?
How do you not know? Waitbefore you before you get started, let's
(05:16):
have a drink over this. Iwant us to be a very lively discussion
here. Yeah, you're welcome them. I got a lot of stories.
(05:38):
I know I've been. I haven'tbeen in a while, but I used
to. I used to frequent swingers, club, swingers events, things like
that, And I think for methe number one thing that I think of,
like how do you not know this? But this, to me,
it's another thing, like it shouldextend into how people act even outside of
(05:59):
swinging. Don't fucking touch me ifI don't know you, if I didn't
welcome you to do so, don'ttouch my partner if she didn't welcome you
to do so. You know,like that shit is just weird. Yeah,
but it's it's crazy. And II always think of this one time
because everything up into this moment waslike fucking perfect. I was going with
(06:26):
a friend of mine who I wouldjust refer to a centaur because names have
been changed to protect folks, youknow what I'm saying. But we used
to go to a lot of swingersclouds back in the day, and we
used to frequent this one in NewYork called Trapeas, and Trapeas had like
two floors and like there's a mainspace where it would just be lots and
(06:49):
lots of people, but if yougo up the stairs, they had like
smaller rooms with like maybe just afive person room or a ten person room
or whatever. But they also hadthis one little spot and it was the
sex chair, and it overlooked themain room, so you could see everybody
in the main room and they couldsee you. And that was our spot.
(07:09):
We was like, we just gonnago there and wow the fuck out,
put on a show and it willattract whoever we we want to attract.
So we was going in and outof nowhere. Like the thing was
that sucked about it is like thechair is here, the stairs are right
behind you, so people would walkup the stairs so they could kind of
(07:29):
like see you and peek in likethat's sexy, right, that's cool.
We're okay with that, clearly,But then one day, this one time,
somebody just reaches out and like justreverse like Nelly tip drill video,
my whole spine and the ass crackright. And I turned around and look
(07:53):
and it's this lady and she's justsmiling at me, and it's like,
yo, what's wrong with you?They don't do that because my first reaction
was to kind of like, youknow, turn around, like what's up?
And I'm not here for that,you know, So it'd be completely
different if she walked up even spoketo either one of us, you know,
and it kind of like ruined theruined the moment. And I know
(08:20):
there was like same kind of thing, like you reach and then before even
like she was understanding that I wasnot okay with it, she like reached
out and grab shorty leg. Soit's just like what are you doing?
Yeah? And it's that's the kindof moment where it's like you should know
you need consent to do anything here, Yeah, exactly, but like you
(08:46):
should know that for this space ofany I mean you should know that in
your life, but for this space. I feel like a lot of a
lot of clubs now I've noticed theydo kind of have like an introduction to
everybody that's in there. This waskind of like a club where people would
just kind of you know what I'msaying, So there was no so I'm
(09:13):
a little stuck with what does umwe was really going in? Can you
kind of like walk me into?Like everything was perfect right as yet I
could see the location well. Tome, it's like everything like it's one
of those nights that like is justforever stored in my brain. Like the
(09:35):
whole night was just except for that, you know what I'm saying, because
it was just like dinner, youknow what I'm saying. We was dressed,
we was looking at fly ready tofuck, you know what I'm saying.
So it's like we go there andyou know how like when you demand
the attention of people when you walkin the room kind of vibe. So
(09:58):
it's already and and when we wouldgo we would usually have like, you
know, just communication with each otherlike oh, she's cute, or she'd
be like, you know I likeher, Oh bahaman, okay, I
like both of them or whatever,you know what I'm saying. Like kind
of like that communication and it's likeokay, so now let's let's let's bring
(10:20):
them to us, let's show themwhat we can do. And the chair
was like you could just get intoso many different positions in it that it
was just like one of those funthings. It was fun to fuck on
it, you know what I'm saying. So it's like we're doing all that
and then at the same time,like building up a sweat, looking over
the thing to see who's in thein the in the big space, do
(10:43):
any thing like the watching be watched. It's such a turn on. Okay,
this club still, you know what, I don't know if it still
exists. There's actually one with thesame name in Miami that I heard of.
Yeah. I think there's like,um, like a chain of them
maybe now mmmmmmmmm okay, So notouching without asking, Yes, okay.
(11:05):
I have been on a swinger's cruisebefore, and that was also my experience
with not so this is something thatthat I learned. I thought that,
like, okay, I was goingto go on this cruise and that swinging
was going to be taking place likeat all times everywhere. Yeah, And
(11:26):
I think that this is like animportant It's important because people do have like
this misconception, right that swinging islike a lifestyle, right, So it's
the conversations that you're having, it'sthe people that are there, it is
the activities that you're doing together,the way the flirt, the flirting that
may be happening or like you're going, yeah, all of it is swinging,
(11:48):
not just the fucking right, Like, oh, you're sitting and having
breakfast with someone and you know,like you walk up to the table that
may not be that person's spouse andyou know, but that's like that's totally
normal. Oh, you know,we're getting to know each other. My
wife is coming down in a littlebit. Like so all that was really
cool. But um, and thenin understanding that, I sort of was
(12:11):
just like, Okay, I'm waymore comfortable here now that I understand like
there's a playroom or that people makeagreements to engage with each other. It's
not just sort of like anything goes. So I felt like super comfortable and
then someone had just like grabbed meup. It was it wasn't his age,
(12:33):
it was his everything, his presentation. He was very unattractive, um
like slimy kind of slimy, slimykind of guy, and he just like
pulled me really close and like triedto give me a kiss, and we
were just in the in the hallwaywhere you can buy like jewelry and clothes
(12:58):
and stuff, and it was clearthat he had this misunderstanding of what being
in this space of swingers meant.It's you know, and I just was
like a repulse and like pushed away. It was just and then it was
sort of like awkward because of havinglike this idea like, oh, like
this person clearly misunderstands and like,like you said, like, don't do
(13:22):
that, even though your first reactionis something very much more extreme. So
completely agree with like understanding what happensin the environment, and it's okay to
like I really think if the personapproached me and asked, like, you
know whatever, like you look sobeautiful, or I would really like to
(13:46):
I'd really like to give you akiss, so I'd really like to give
you a hug, I would havesaid no, but I wouldn't have felt
violated, and I may have toldthat person how they could engage with me.
But instead it was just like andit kind of closed me off to
that feeling of safety that I had, Like once I had established like that
(14:09):
this is actually a cool place tobe that was like, nah, it's
actually it would be cool if everybodyknew how to you know, how to
handle themselves. The ruined it foreverybody. I think. I think it,
like I said, in a lotof the spaces that I've been in
now, they do have like thatconsent conversation, and that consent conversation from
(14:33):
the beginning kind of does put peopleon notice, like don't get out of
pocket that I may react in andthat I have the right to react,
like I don't have to understand thatyou may blah blah blah nothing. Yeah,
And I think there's so many differentlevels of assumption that people can have.
So for people who don't know,there are different types of swingers,
(14:54):
different levels of swinging for people,like some people are like we only do
soft swap just like there's no penetration, but maybe we'll do everything up to
that point m full swab where peopleare doing everything, or some people like
we don't swing in the same room. Other people like, we have to
swing in the same room, youknow. So I think it's very important,
(15:15):
like just because you're at a swingersclub or a party or something like
that, don't assume nothing about nobodyhave a conversation first, and it might
be a conversation where y'all all buttneckit together doing something, but it's still
important to have to say, isthis okay? Are you okay? Do
a happier consent? Sent sexy isfun? People need to stop sleeping it
(15:39):
is. It also keep you outof a lot of trouble. So one
of the one of them, oneof the other. Either. It wasn't
a cruiser resort. One of theseplaces that we went to. They had
the different bands that meant different things, which was really cool. Is like
a way of communicating without necessarily Itwas like, you know, like I'm
open to swab, I'm buy likeall kinds of different things, which I
(16:00):
think is really cool. I betthat cruise had edm on it, every
cruise on it. I really wantto go to one of those like the
um what is his name? Theradio show hosts that used to do those
cruises. I'm not even gonna Iwas about to say, I want um
Sindbad to throw uh swing so atleast I know they go have some live
(16:26):
ass musical or whoever. That thenew version of that is, you know
what I'm saying. Yeah there isYeah, but they don't do. It's
a lot of these um, alot of these groups. That's the other
thing. Like they they have thesecruises or these events, but they don't
market them as swingers, which isdifficult because then you're in them, because
(16:48):
then you get the wrong people andthey'd be like, Yo, what the
fuck? Right? Right? Idon't like that. I don't like that.
It was like an assumption. SoI mean I think that that is
etiquette, is like, know whatgoes on in the space that you're in,
that's important, super important. Um, what else comes to mind?
Etiquette? Etiquette, m etiquette.Well, I don't know if this is
(17:11):
etiquette, but I do have somethinglike a public service announcement for all people
who throw swingers events, parties andall of that stop with the motherfucking devil
eggs, macaroni salad, tuna salad, anything mayonnaise based at these events.
Seems like a bad fucking idea,you know what I'm saying. Maybe you
(17:33):
should go more on the healthy sideor even on the protein side of things,
but people don't need that much milkat these type of joints. Yeah,
bad food, which and you seeyou see like people like okay,
so there's the people that are justlike indulging and you're like, really those
people, that's like, but I'mtrying to do antal though. Other you
(17:59):
know, it's either like you seea whole whole tray of food being wasted
because it's the wrong type of food, or but I do think you should
pay attention to the fact that thereis a whole long list of foods that
are labeled as afrodisiacs that are perfectfor those type of events. Yeah,
you know, but that I don'tknow why, but that shit always bothers
me. I think another thing,and this is actually my first time ever
(18:22):
going to like a legit swingers event. I did not know it was a
swingers club. Oh that's poor etiquette. That's really fucked up. Yeah,
you know what I'm saying, that'snon consensual. It's it's actually one of
the few times that I ever wentto a swingers event that I was like,
I'm not prepared, like and itwasn't even that. It's like,
(18:48):
I was such a long, crazyass story, but I'll only take this
portion of it. It was likea club in Queens that you know,
you had to let the people knowto even get in like some old locked
door type shit. So I waslike, oh, maybe they're gonna have
strippers or something. I don't knowwhat the fuck, but I was there
(19:08):
for a meeting, Like this iswhere someone chose to have a meeting I
was. I was supposed to.This is like one of the first films
I was ever going to be in. I was like eighteen years old.
So this producer invited me and twoof the actresses to meet him at this
(19:30):
club, but never said, like, yo, this shit is a swingers
club, said. One of theother actresses was there already and she was
partying. She wasn't involved in anything, but she was just kind of like
she the one who was like comingme real quick. And then opened up
this back room and it was justlike this huge room full of mattresses and
(19:52):
leather couches and people fucking. It'slike in a warehouse and shit, it
was bugged out. So I waslike chilling. I was watching for a
minute, but I was just kindof like, I'm here for this person
to pay me. I'm not fuckingthese people for free. I don't know
any of these fucking people either,you know what I'm saying. So like
my hustle of mind state was like, no, we ain't doing this,
Like it was different when I wouldgo with like a partner or something like
(20:14):
that. But you just bring mehere, Like, nah, you don't
get a free show. But Ithink about there are times that people have
tried to bring people. Also,it's important to know sometimes people show up
with people at swingers events that arenot they're significant other. You know what
I'm saying. So those kind ofsituations. I feel like if you are
(20:37):
in a situation where you are bringingsomeone who is not your significant other and
you're meeting up with people who aremarried and swingers like that, you should
disclose things like that. Right,there's nothing wrong with it, but you
should disclose things like that before peopleget into situations that they don't know about.
Let me tell you something. IfI see any of my home girls
husbands out while we out and about, well, that's different if that's someone
(21:00):
who's cheating. You know what I'msaying. I'm not talking about nobody.
I'm just saying that people bring whoeverthey bring. Some people do go to
these events like I am trying tobe with other married people because it makes
them feel a certain level of comfortfor being with other people who they feel
like this person is spoken for God, this person has ties to somebody or
(21:22):
whatever, so they feel more comfortablestepping outside of their own relationship. I'm
not even just saying people hiring people. I'm saying people who are like,
oh, this is just we justthe met On tender and we're gonna show
up here, you know what I'msaying, Like some some people, but
then they front you know what I'msaying, so you know that is a
whole thing. Be honest, behonest, which should go in your regular
(21:45):
fucking life to them. Right.Is this show really about swinging or just
about being a good human? Ithink that the part of swinging that really
does interest me and part that Ilike personally. I like to watch my
partner be pleased, but I alsolike I like to hunt together, like
(22:08):
that part of it is very fun. Yeah, like seeing I guess it's
the I don't know if it's theSapio Emmy or whatever, but like those
first initial conversations that you have withsomebody where you might be physically attracted to
them, but then you have thatkind of getting to know you shit where
(22:29):
it's like, oh man, thisperson is complete fucking bird. But like
the ones where it really hit andy'all start connecting and there's like a rhythm
in your conversation and all of thatshit like oh yeah, like I really
want to fuck this person now,Like I enjoy that shit. And if
you can have that with either yourpartner is having it or it's a group
(22:51):
conversation, like that shit it sectuallyto me. I like that. Another
point of etiquette is I don't believein like taking for the team, and
I think that people good etiquette isrespecting like your partners boundaries, respecting like
having that signal of like yeah,you're exactly and not changing, not changing
(23:17):
the boundary like that is something thathappens. And you see, I've been
a crisis counselor on these lifestyle tripsand events because of things like that,
Like one, alcohol gets involved sometimesand that can make things really difficult.
Or people go in under like falsepretenses that they can handle this situation and
(23:40):
they can't. But a lot oftimes, a lot of the things that
come up are like we agree tothis, and this person got excited and
then started to do some other things, you know, or they are expecting
me to meet them where they are, and I'm like, you know,
not there. I don't know ifwe I don't know if this will have
(24:00):
to say be saved for our exepisode. But so like my time really
really going to swingers clubs and stuffkind of slowed down when technically it stopped
completely when I got into this onerelationship, but my partner was not with
that ship, and when we werekind of like trying to find ways to
(24:22):
to meet up and compromise, weactually had a good compromise, like let's
go to that club. We don'tgot a funk with nobody else, but
like let's just go to get watchedbecause my exhibitionists needed to be on display.
And that was cool. But Ido notice, like some other people
(24:45):
in the club, if they've approachedus and we were like, no,
we're good like that, they like, that doesn't mean we can't speak,
that doesn't mean we can't you know, share a drink or whatever the fuck.
But like then they're just like,oh they't they ain't fucking with us,
so f them, like you know, and everybody's but everybody's level of
(25:06):
engagement can always be different. Youknow. Some people might just be like,
you know, we're here for heavypetting, you know what I'm saying,
Like, we like being touched byother people, or we like having
sex with one another in a groupof other people fucking, And I think
that this is this goes even beyondswinging to me, this just goes with
how people engage in sex in general. Right, just because someone doesn't fuck
(25:30):
like you fuck or whatever, doesn'tmean that y'all can't have a sexual experience
together if you find a way to, if you enjoy the person. You
know what I'm saying, Like,if people say, like, oh,
they shut me down for this onething, now I can't funk with them
at all, Right, you don'thave You can find ways to still engage
and enjoy one another based on thelevels of where they're at, and you
(25:52):
never know, you might find somethingelse that you enjoy with them and vice
versa, or knowing that they cantrust you for that first thing might open
up to something more for you lateron. But everybody's in such a rush
to get to that one spot,and that's the That's one thing that I
do see a lot at clubs becauseit's like people have built up for that
(26:15):
party, that cruise, that eventfor months, you know, so they're
like, we're gonna do this,you know, And it's not only because
it's not just you thinking you're gonnado it. You're sitting there talking about
that ship with your partner, y'allplotting this ship. You're like, y'o,
we saw this profile as somebody elsethat's gonna be there. We're gonna
hili ad them, you know whatI'm saying. And then you get there
(26:37):
and it's not that yeah, youknow, so you can't be all but
heard about that, Like you beopen minded, be respectful of other people
in their boundaries. I like theidea of having sort of like another plan
in case, like the fantasy thatyou have, you know, because oftentimes
you don't know who all is goingto be there, if they're gonna be
(26:59):
feeling you, if they're if theirrules are meshed with yours. But like,
so what is our other option?And like you said, like we'll
just have sex in a different waythan we're comfortable, or then we are
used to doing but in a waythat makes us comfortable, or we'll just
have like great conversation. You know. If people don't want to have sex
with us, maybe we can makeother kinds of connections and like, what
(27:19):
are those kind of connections that wecould possibly make? And that was something
that I was like one of theresorts that we went to, which was
a lifestyle resort, I and I'mstill in contact with this couple to this
day. Is I love there,Like we just come here to like meet
people, and then we like wemeet a solo or you know, a
(27:40):
couple, a couple outside of thesespaces, they were not necessarily comfortable with
swinging um and having sex with peoplein public. They use that trip to
meet other lifestylers and they you know, like they were of a certain status,
whereas the like, if we likethis couple, we will fly out
(28:03):
to go and see them or spendour like mediear vacation with them. I
was like, I like that.I love that. That's like that's daty.
Yeah, It's it's good because it'sbetter than going to a club where
you don't know if people are intowhat you're into. You're going to a
space specifically knowing like right, thesepeople are into what you're into, so
(28:23):
you don't you don't have to rush, you know, you know, the
end result can be what you wantedto be absolutely and yeah, we want
up having Like you'll probably remember thecouple I said, we had a great
conversation with them at the pool thatYou're like, I don't know who you
were talking about already. I lovedit. It was such a it was
nice and it didn't feel it didn'tfeel pressured. So then like they create
(28:48):
like a safe space, like youknow, it's like, oh, like
this is safe. We actually getto know each other. We're not like,
so what are you doing after dinner? So are you gonna be in
the playroom later? Like that?I don't like that, So I'm thinking
of another thing. So party wise, you know, you have certain parties,
and this is for people who throwevents. This ain't even just for
the for the for the party goerspeople who throw events. Look, I'm
(29:12):
looking directly fucking at you. Stophaving them racist fucking rooms. Stop it.
Stop having them chocolate rooms as youcall it, or the plus one.
What they did that after they realizedthat calling it the mandingo or the
chocolate or the blackety black room wasracist as fuck. So stop doing that
(29:33):
shit. So I have questions aboutthat. I have I definitely have some
some I have some thoughts, butI'm gonna pit white people throwing these parties
who specifically do that shit. It'sfucking fetishizing black folk. It's racist.
Stop doing that shit. I'm gonnapost these a questions, but they are
definitely loaded with opinions and thought.So have you had this s experience?
(30:00):
I want to go back to thePlus one room, don't don't let me
forget that, and the Chocolate roomand the white lady who brings a group
of black men specifically to these spaces, and it's hired to do these things.
You all know who you are becausethere's multiple companies that operate specifically like
(30:22):
that. We're gonna talk about that. Have you had different experiences with how
party goers interact with you as ablack man versus how they interact with other
with with non black folks in termsof like inviting you to play? And
(30:45):
I know that you haven't been apart of these like the fetish rooms and
all that kind of stuff. Yes, what is the difference the differences?
They want to go directly to sex. They don't want to have a conversation.
And I already told y'all what Ilike. I like the conversation.
I like to get to know people. I like to I like to desire
something more than flesh, you knowwhat I'm saying. There's nothing wrong with
(31:06):
that. I just like to meit's it's it's an even better high when
I want all of someone. Anda lot of times it's like, oh,
I've heard what is it? Theone person this on the fucking cruise,
This one lady called me an exoticanimal. I was like, what
the fuck did you just say?Like you know what I'm saying, like,
(31:26):
oh, you're such an exotic animal? Like is that supposed to be
a fucking compliment? You know?Or yeah, you know when someone says
I want you to breed me.Ah, And you know, I know
some people think of that just fromthe u I guess fetish aspect of it,
(31:49):
But not when my ancestors were forcedto breed. No, thank you,
I don't use that word um orjust reference to my skin on my
body in a certain way that it'sjust like you was just talking to this
Caucasian man over there, and youdidn't say any of that, you know,
(32:15):
and it seems like a nice conversation, not that I was all in
and y'alls over there laughing and shit, Yeah, you know what I'm saying,
like, it's it's because we're fetishized. You know, we've gotten into
that before, like on the show, where it's just like you're not valued
as a human being, you're stillviewed as a physical commodity for their pleasure.
(32:37):
Well, I definitely have had thoseexperience with being chocolate all the time,
like why you know, just youcould even just like it's your name
or it's just that that feels reallygross, or I'm seeing people say things
like I, um, oh,I have a dinner date at six,
(33:01):
or oh, we're we're going tocome to your class, but we're meeting
up with another couple for dinner,and then will you still be here at
around eight o'clock? Right? SoI'm like hearing this because a lot of
times we're bending, so you're you'resort of hearing how people are laying out
their plans um and then like whenwe are off for when I went to
(33:21):
a couple of them without you,was like, okay, I'm off the
clock now, so to speak.And now it's like will I see you
in the playroom. We're getting togetherin the buy women's group, and you
know it's like the dinner, youknow, can we do that or because
if you know Jasmine, her mottoin life is feed me, fuck me
(33:43):
flowers. Yes, yes, yes, And that first is in that order
the two the other last two.Can it can be, it can be
feed me flowers, but as longas they feed me is first. Absolutely.
So they always look loose me onit because it's like, why are
you writing me somewhere I'm hungry andum, and then like the name calling
(34:07):
also how I talked about that thatperson grabbing me. I also noticed like
the way people are, especially withyou, how they just like go reach
and touch where you don't see themhaving that interaction with other people with UM.
For me and the women that I'vegone with that have been black women,
there's always this like pulling at uswhere you and I'm observant to like,
(34:32):
okay, because this is a newworld for me, Do I get
offended or is that kind of likehow everything It's like, no, that
is not how everyone is behaving.So this is not gonna Aaron Florida because
of what I'm about to mention.Um, I was watching this thing in
the sixteen nineteen project there it goesthe rest of the episode and they but
(34:54):
they were talking about a lot ofthe stereotypes of black women sexually in regards
to you know, always wanting it, always being ready for it, you
know, can't get enough of it. Is But it's literally, it literally
(35:15):
comes from the plantation and the rapeculture of white men justifying yeah, it's
like but and so many of thestereotypes about black folk come from just justifying
how we were treating So I dothink, you know, people always say,
oh, you know, that's solong ago, but those images,
(35:36):
those ideas have been passed down fromgeneration generation, Like you know, it's
like you go get you a blackwoman or a spicy latina and then you
know, so you're so your wildoats and shit, you know what I
mean. So I do think thatthere's that kind of thing because also,
if you're gonna have an event thatyou label as the Chocolate Room, or
you're gonna have these kind of likeracial fetishizations of people presented on your fucking
(36:02):
programming, people are going to bemistreated at your ship because they're gonna see,
even even the black men or blackwomen that aren't involved in that shit,
the white folks that's there is goingto think, well, if you're
here that's that's of course, that'swhy you're here. You didn't pay like
me to get here. You're you'repart of the help, you know what
(36:22):
I mean? And and and there. Yeah, you're you're something for me
to play with. You You're nota person for me to have a conversation
with. So that's why I say, like that shit makes those events unsafe
for people. They may get unsafefor people of color, clearly non enjoyable,
(36:44):
you know what I'm saying. Soyou know, if you're out there
throwing events, do better. Andalso if you're being invited to events,
think about what you're you know,what it is that you may be walking
into and how you are contributing toan unsafe situation for other peop Because I
remember being on a cruise and somebodybeing like, oh you with the whatever
(37:04):
the name, and you was like, no, what's what's that? Oh
you did You're not with the You'relike nah, and um, you know,
and and then you kind of seehow people were approaching you completely,
like as if they could have accessto you in this particular way, which
is um, yeah, that's it'smind boggling to me. Okay, here's
(37:29):
another thing that I don't even knowhow someone messes this up. But I
have been to a party where theydid not have something that is completely utterly
required. Okay, so it's oneof two things, but I'm gonna go
with lube. Okay. The secondthing I was gonna say it was condoms
(37:53):
they did have. They did havesome lubricated condoms, some prophylactics. I
don't know if they were. Okay, I showed up with my own,
my own loop too, but likeI was just like, how do they
not have that for people in becausesomewhere somewhere asking me about my louis no,
I mean sure, but you knowwhat I'm saying, it's just like
(38:14):
one of those kind of situations youshould have that, and it wasn't in
the invitation to bring your own.Now I will say also etiquette with that,
right, Like I think you shouldbe responsible to bring like the loupe
that you and the propyleactis that youknow will work for you. UM work
with your body. I love seeingum in like the women with the little
(38:35):
like little baggy it has their littlewhole kid, you know. But as
a person who throws events like havinga variety can't costa rica we had a
wide variety of loops, so manydifferent kinds assortment an assortment and thinking about
(38:57):
like body safe, body safe productsand things like that. I think that's
super important. I remember hosting theBuy Women's room with um our friends in
the industry. I can finally aname I can say with organic loving and
yeah, and I remember us runningaround like crazy like we need dental damn,
(39:21):
right like not And and the womenwere prepared to just like cut condoms
and I mean they could, butwhy should they? You know, that's
a good point. Someone actually onour Kink and Costa Rica trip ask that
when we were having like one ofthose conversations about asking anything, and they
were like, when I go toevents and it's women's events, they don't
(39:44):
have dental damn. But if itwas an event with men, they would
have condoms for oral And that isalso one of those kind of things that's
like where people make the mistake.Like I mean, granted people be like
men might not have the hygiene thatwomen have on a on a larger scale.
(40:05):
Oh that's my next etiquette, goahead, but yeah, that is
very important etiquette. But diseases don'tknow no gender or orientation anybody can fucking
have them, right, So ifyou should be, you should be protected
at all times with everybody. II you know, we we were so
fortunate to have travel with a groupof people that were so sexually responsible sexual
(40:28):
health, responsible about their sexual healthand that were just like open to to
sharing, um what they were workingwith or what they weren't working with,
so that we could all make likevery very um responsible decisions. But knowing
that that may not be the case. UM, it is important to consider
your sexual health and wellness by makingsure you either you make sure they have
(40:50):
what you need or you bring whatyou need. Absolutely okay. So hygiene
important. It is so so important. And like I think about you know,
like when okay, so when you'retelling me that you was partying in
Queens and are in the city,I'm like, so y'all take the train
there, or like okay, y'alldrove Okay, So that's good. Um,
(41:13):
so that's a short amount of timelike sitting on your ass, right,
and then like they also have showersin that spot exactly you can shower
and walk around with a towel ora rope. I like clubs that or
or events that have that built intothe protocol because not everybody's um starting point
is the same fact, you knowwhat I'm saying, or just like I'm
(41:37):
even thinking like you know, likeyou're adrenaline, like you're excited. Oh
that makes me think, I don'tknow if this spot is still there.
Pleasure Garden in Philly, they hadlike these showers that you could like see
okay showering. Yeah, they Imean they had some also that was private,
but they had something like if youwanted to like just show up and
(41:58):
just I'm naked, I'm getting clean, and y'all watch like that was a
very fly for each other. Thatis very sexy. Butever, you know,
at our events saying like okay,so now it's a good time to
freshen up while we go ahead andset up right, So it's like an
invitation to consider that you're going topotentially be close to other people now would
be a good time to freshen up. But making sure that you have like
(42:21):
the proper soaps and all that othergood stuff that you need for your body
to be clean. Considering yeah,like considering your nerves, you know,
and like that you may start tosweat or if you have a really strong
body order like that could be aturn on your pheromones. It can also
be a turn off just the sameway like perfumes and different types of creams
(42:45):
and things can be. So Ithink kind of common sense like if you're
going to be in a public orshared space, sort of neutralize the things
that you may like in your ownhome. Oh that leads me to another
one, shared space, So cleanup after yourself. Yeah, you know,
(43:05):
I definitely have been to clubs wherewhere people like leave a mess,
and you know, there are peoplethat are employed by the club to clean
up, but they're not. Theyshouldn't have to clean up all your sh
like, come on now, youknow, like if you just flinging condoms
or ordental damn in the air orwhatever, like, it's not necessary.
It's not necessary, yeah, youknow. Um. And then also,
(43:29):
you know, places provide you withtowels, they you can take the sheets
and just put them in the receptaclesthat are usually there for you. Um.
But yeah, that's a bad one. But I feel like that's another
one that goes to the rest ofyour life too. When you share a
space, I'm banging the mic andshit, take care of people's stuff now
(43:50):
space, you know what I'm saying, In a in a ship space,
you should definitely clean up after yourselfwherever you are, but especially in that
kind of spot where it's you're fluid, don't, yeah, don't leave that
for other people to clean up.And also it's like if I see a
sheet, I may and usually it'slike dark, I may not think that
(44:12):
somebody was just on it, andlike that's really gross to like lay down
in somebody else's mess. So Ihave one more thought on etiquette, and
if you'll match me with another one, this one is really really really important
for me. I don't think thatyou have to connect with people that you
(44:32):
meet and swinger spaces outside of thosespaces. And I think that this can
get a little bit like how wetalked about like having consent, knowing sort
of what your boundaries are, whatyou're going to do physically, what you
know you and your partner or partnersare comfortable with. But we talk about
(44:53):
this so much in BDSM, right, But like what's going to happen at
the end. And I I remembergoing to my first swingers um event where
or not event, first club Ionly played with you and the two people
that we you know that we wentwith and then there was a person that
was watching us, and then afterlike he approached me for my number,
(45:16):
which like it was nice to tiwnout to be a nice person, but
like in Retmo's BacT, I'm kindof like, why did you do that?
You know, um, mostly ifyou're not involved in a thing,
yeah, that's yeah, And Imean it was maybe it's just one of
one of these like kind of beingcertain with yourself how you feel about that,
(45:37):
because I think like now I probablysay like, oh, no,
thank you, um, just herefor the here for the day, here
for the moment, like we shareda moment and we're done. But I
think I was, uh, Imean it was all new to me,
so I was a little caught offguard. But also we've been like just
for our last trip, we madeit really clear like if you would like
(45:59):
to engage with somebody after you know, this event, like we won't be
sharing an email list or anything alongthose lines. I think it is really
important for the person that is thecoordinator or the person hosting that you allow
people that privacy, Like y'all arenot a tribe now you you know,
had a shared experience and allow peopleto decide if they want to carry that
(46:21):
experience forward. And I do thinkthat maybe checking in with yourself deciding like
do I want to do I wantto just have this moment and if I
run into them again here or inthe lifestyle circuit, or do I really
want this person to message me tomorrowlike how you doing? It's everybody's it's
every individual's choice. And I thinksometimes I can see where people are like
(46:49):
I want to hang out with peoplethat are like me, and then also
some people they host smaller events orother couples at their home and things like
that. But then there are otherpeople just like this must it at the
club? Yeah, we came,we danced, we out, you know
what I'm saying. So I thinkthat's very important to be able to respect
people in that and just like maybejust asking in that way, do you
(47:10):
do you communicate with folks outside ofhere and then be okay with that yes
or that no, versus of moredirect like you know, like can I
get your number? I mean alot of times people will be like are
you on this particular website? Wherecan I find you? Yea where?
And it's like, oh no,you can't that's okay too. And then
(47:35):
when it comes to that also andthis all right, So here's another one
I got for you, the Unicorns. So there are a lot of different
events that will some will allow singlewomen, some will allow single men,
single men. Speaking to you directly, I've been a single man that swingers
(47:58):
events before, so I'm gonna speaking. Gotta this camera here, to this
camera here. All you gotta do. Shull out, just shut out.
Don't even donna for real. Like, as as a single man at some
of these events, people come acrossas extremely pushy. And I know that
(48:23):
people are like in their mind it'slike a I gotta I gotta get it
in kind of like we were talkingabout with couples who you know, over
planned for the event. So it'slike you're a single person and it's just
swirling around in your head. Trustif any of those couples want you,
they will come and get you.They will come and get you. You
(48:45):
know what I'm saying. But it'slike, you know, for so many
people, this is a space wherethey're like, this is what I want
to do, this is what Iwant to experience. I know I can't
do and experience this outside because it'sunsafe. So if you're acting the same
way that creepy ass, overbearing ass, annoying ass, fucking predator ass men
(49:10):
do outside of these swingers events,that ruins the safety for everybody inside of
it. So if you're all,like, yo, excuse me, you
know what I'm saying, just botheringpeople? Yeah, Like, And that's
why there are certain events where theydo have people who are hired to be
(49:32):
there. I've actually worked at anevent where I was hired to be a
unicorn and that ship was dope.But even then, as the unicorn,
I was greeting people at the door, and then if they wanted to hiller
me, they came and got me. You know what I'm saying, It's
very important to respect those boundaries becauseit can come off really fucking creepy.
(49:54):
And since it's a space that peopleare expecting or expecting others to have sex,
if you're just kind of leaning onsomebody, then it does come all
very predatorial. As a professional unicorn, is that something that do you do
any type of consultation with? Like? Is that something someone could actually hire
(50:19):
you to help orient them too?Absolutely. One of the clubs that I
worked that I had to. Ihad been there long enough to kind of
like when they had a new guyor a new a new woman come into
work, I would kind of tellthem, like, this is what's expected
of us. But also like,from my time working here, this is
what you look for is which itwas like an after hours swingers club in
(50:40):
New York. And it's a randomass building that spot with wild, so
fucking wild, but it'd be likebut and and from being there, I
noticed and was able to experience alltypes of fucking swingers. Not because they
let they let single men in forlike a super high price. Okay,
(51:02):
right, they let single women infor not higher price at all. They
probably was just like, sure,come on in, but like it was
like a couple's It was sold aslike a couple's um playground in a way
where you can find whatever you're lookingfor, where there's other couples, single
men, single women. You know, So you really had to learn to
(51:25):
gauge the room and engage people becausesome people they are shy and you're the
way they're letting you know you're interestedis they're fucking staring at you and like
kind of giggling or whatever, thefuck. And then there's other people that
allowed and boisterous that would be like, oh, you know what I'm saying
(51:45):
that, And it ranges from peopleand but think of how extreme that is
and then all the variations you havein them between. So you have to
be able to be respectful of whereeverybody else is or if you are that,
if you know you are one ofthose men who paid the money to
go into the club, you don'twant to get thrown out for being an
asshole, right, you know whatI'm saying. I mean the fact that
(52:06):
that there is um professional etiquette that'sattached to it. I do think that
lay folks can learn, you know, from that. If you want to
learn how to be a unicorn,I'm talking to you. Hit me up,
me and this camera have good reporttoday, I see are you?
Are you hooking up with it?I'm good with it? All right?
(52:30):
Cool? Well, I think thatwe hit on some of our high high
points and low points with swinging andfor those that of you that are interested
in traveling with us, again,not necessarily to swing, but you know,
to engage in all the things satoto be whatever you want to be.
(52:51):
That's what we do and we're goingto be going back to Costa Rica,
so you can go on the websitewithin your application, and we have
some other locations coming up as well, so definitely make sure that you follow
us on all the various forms ofsocial media that we are shadow band on,
but definitely go to kink and CostaRica dot com. We go to
(53:13):
jet Setting, Jasmine dot com,Kingdowar dot com and it will lead you
to all the spaces that we at. It's the ten Swing Commandments broad boo
boo, that's what we should callthat ship. Well, Papa mister gave Richard
Well, Papa Fister g right,So what was your favorite part of Kink
(00:22):
and Costa Rica. Okay, first, let me get it in my head
that I cannot say names. No, you can't say names, not even
nicknames. Nope, not even nicknames. Okay, so you didn't say who
are my favorite favorite things to dowith the people there? Okay, favorite
(00:42):
thing's favorite things? Because everything,oh my gosh, the food, every
meal amazing, every man was amazing. But the part that there were so
many favorite parts. But I thinkone of the parts um that was like
was hearing someone say I want thisand then turning around and it happening,
(01:08):
and someone saying I have things Ifeel like if I say anything else,
I can't say what my favorite partswere, Yes you can, I can't?
Can I? Yeah, well canyou do it? How I did,
like, I'll know, they'll know. I really enjoyed when people came
(01:30):
back to their senses and were thankfulfor what was given. Mmm. I
enjoyed when everybody was watching me bythe pool mhm for a very long time,
very long time. I went.I was watching for a long time,
(01:51):
and then I was like, youknow what, he's busy. I
can go take a shower and havelike, Okay, I can have this
like adult alone shower that I haven'thad in a long time years And when
(02:12):
I got out and I just knew, like when I got out, you
would be like you'd be like,oh, hey, that's like he's still
at the pool. Yeah, thatwas some broke night by the pool.
M M. And then repaying theperson who do I don't know what I
(02:37):
can and can't say. I don'twant nobody to be feeling like you know
what I'm saying. But for everybodywho is just tuning in, you know
what I'm saying. We did Kinkand Costa Rica. It's our first time
going there, and if you missedit, you fucked up time. Well
you don't suck up that back becauseguess what we're going again. But the
reason I wanted to start with thisquestion is we were going to talk about
(03:00):
etiquette for swingers, parties, events, someone and such. For I know
you had a better title for itthan me, but the title is right
below. But like I think wejust shared one of the like key etiquette
(03:23):
is privacy confidentiality, right, andit's like we can share our experience without
sharing anyone else's experience and sharing theirname or descript round information and all that
other kind of shit that sometimes peopledo. And I feel like that is
like if this was like Biggie's tenCrack Commandments of Swingers parties and shit,
(03:50):
you know what I'm saying, Likethat's that's one of the first ones you
tell people, is like, don'tdisrespect people's privacy, Like privacy is paramount
because that's what's making people comfortable toeven be able to show up, to
engage and all of that, youknow what I'm saying, And you know,
(04:12):
safety, but that goes with allsexual exploits, not even specifically.
I'm just like smaller from ear toierbecause there's like so many good for such
a short period of time. Therewas some really really amazing moment. The
mummification though top notch. It wastop notch mummification at a party. I
(04:32):
can't say I've ever been to anyparty or event with that much mummification.
There was a lot of mummification goingon. There was some evaculation going on
to so okay, so swinging andthe etiquette around swinging. We wouldn't we
wouldn't have thought of this topic ifthere weren't folks who do some really like
(04:56):
dumb shit. Yeah, so likewhat is okay? So we're off kicking
Costa Rica for now. Um,what are some things in your experience and
your experiences with swinging that you werelike, how do you not know?
How do you not know? Waitbefore you before you get started, let's
(05:16):
have a drink over this. Iwant us to be a very lively discussion
here. Yeah, you're welcome them. I got a lot of stories.
(05:38):
I know I've been. I haven'tbeen in a while, but I used
to. I used to frequent swingers, club, swingers events, things like
that, And I think for methe number one thing that I think of,
like how do you not know this? But this, to me,
it's another thing, like it shouldextend into how people act even outside of
(05:59):
swinging. Don't fucking touch me ifI don't know you, if I didn't
welcome you to do so, don'ttouch my partner if she didn't welcome you
to do so. You know,like that shit is just weird. Yeah,
but it's it's crazy. And II always think of this one time
because everything up into this moment waslike fucking perfect. I was going with
(06:26):
a friend of mine who I wouldjust refer to a centaur because names have
been changed to protect folks, youknow what I'm saying. But we used
to go to a lot of swingersclouds back in the day, and we
used to frequent this one in NewYork called Trapeas, and Trapeas had like
two floors and like there's a mainspace where it would just be lots and
(06:49):
lots of people, but if yougo up the stairs, they had like
smaller rooms with like maybe just afive person room or a ten person room
or whatever. But they also hadthis one little spot and it was the
sex chair, and it overlooked themain room, so you could see everybody
in the main room and they couldsee you. And that was our spot.
(07:09):
We was like, we just gonnago there and wow the fuck out,
put on a show and it willattract whoever we we want to attract.
So we was going in and outof nowhere. Like the thing was
that sucked about it is like thechair is here, the stairs are right
behind you, so people would walkup the stairs so they could kind of
(07:29):
like see you and peek in likethat's sexy, right, that's cool.
We're okay with that, clearly,But then one day, this one time,
somebody just reaches out and like justreverse like Nelly tip drill video,
my whole spine and the ass crackright. And I turned around and look
(07:53):
and it's this lady and she's justsmiling at me, and it's like,
yo, what's wrong with you?They don't do that because my first reaction
was to kind of like, youknow, turn around, like what's up?
And I'm not here for that,you know, So it'd be completely
different if she walked up even spoketo either one of us, you know,
and it kind of like ruined theruined the moment. And I know
(08:20):
there was like same kind of thing, like you reach and then before even
like she was understanding that I wasnot okay with it, she like reached
out and grab shorty leg. Soit's just like what are you doing?
Yeah? And it's that's the kindof moment where it's like you should know
you need consent to do anything here, Yeah, exactly, but like you
(08:46):
should know that for this space ofany I mean you should know that in
your life, but for this space. I feel like a lot of a
lot of clubs now I've noticed theydo kind of have like an introduction to
everybody that's in there. This waskind of like a club where people would
just kind of you know what I'msaying, So there was no so I'm
(09:13):
a little stuck with what does umwe was really going in? Can you
kind of like walk me into?Like everything was perfect right as yet I
could see the location well. Tome, it's like everything like it's one
of those nights that like is justforever stored in my brain. Like the
(09:35):
whole night was just except for that, you know what I'm saying, because
it was just like dinner, youknow what I'm saying. We was dressed,
we was looking at fly ready tofuck, you know what I'm saying.
So it's like we go there andyou know how like when you demand
the attention of people when you walkin the room kind of vibe. So
(09:58):
it's already and and when we wouldgo we would usually have like, you
know, just communication with each otherlike oh, she's cute, or she'd
be like, you know I likeher, Oh bahaman, okay, I
like both of them or whatever,you know what I'm saying. Like kind
of like that communication and it's likeokay, so now let's let's let's bring
(10:20):
them to us, let's show themwhat we can do. And the chair
was like you could just get intoso many different positions in it that it
was just like one of those funthings. It was fun to fuck on
it, you know what I'm saying. So it's like we're doing all that
and then at the same time,like building up a sweat, looking over
the thing to see who's in thein the in the big space, do
(10:43):
any thing like the watching be watched. It's such a turn on. Okay,
this club still, you know what, I don't know if it still
exists. There's actually one with thesame name in Miami that I heard of.
Yeah. I think there's like,um, like a chain of them
maybe now mmmmmmmmm okay, So notouching without asking, Yes, okay.
(11:05):
I have been on a swinger's cruisebefore, and that was also my experience
with not so this is something thatthat I learned. I thought that,
like, okay, I was goingto go on this cruise and that swinging
was going to be taking place likeat all times everywhere. Yeah, And
(11:26):
I think that this is like animportant It's important because people do have like
this misconception, right that swinging islike a lifestyle, right, So it's
the conversations that you're having, it'sthe people that are there, it is
the activities that you're doing together,the way the flirt, the flirting that
may be happening or like you're going, yeah, all of it is swinging,
(11:48):
not just the fucking right, Like, oh, you're sitting and having
breakfast with someone and you know,like you walk up to the table that
may not be that person's spouse andyou know, but that's like that's totally
normal. Oh, you know,we're getting to know each other. My
wife is coming down in a littlebit. Like so all that was really
cool. But um, and thenin understanding that, I sort of was
(12:11):
just like, Okay, I'm waymore comfortable here now that I understand like
there's a playroom or that people makeagreements to engage with each other. It's
not just sort of like anything goes. So I felt like super comfortable and
then someone had just like grabbed meup. It was it wasn't his age,
(12:33):
it was his everything, his presentation. He was very unattractive, um
like slimy kind of slimy, slimykind of guy, and he just like
pulled me really close and like triedto give me a kiss, and we
were just in the in the hallwaywhere you can buy like jewelry and clothes
(12:58):
and stuff, and it was clearthat he had this misunderstanding of what being
in this space of swingers meant.It's you know, and I just was
like a repulse and like pushed away. It was just and then it was
sort of like awkward because of havinglike this idea like, oh, like
this person clearly misunderstands and like,like you said, like, don't do
(13:22):
that, even though your first reactionis something very much more extreme. So
completely agree with like understanding what happensin the environment, and it's okay to
like I really think if the personapproached me and asked, like, you
know whatever, like you look sobeautiful, or I would really like to
(13:46):
I'd really like to give you akiss, so I'd really like to give
you a hug, I would havesaid no, but I wouldn't have felt
violated, and I may have toldthat person how they could engage with me.
But instead it was just like andit kind of closed me off to
that feeling of safety that I had, Like once I had established like that
(14:09):
this is actually a cool place tobe that was like, nah, it's
actually it would be cool if everybodyknew how to you know, how to
handle themselves. The ruined it foreverybody. I think. I think it,
like I said, in a lotof the spaces that I've been in
now, they do have like thatconsent conversation, and that consent conversation from
(14:33):
the beginning kind of does put peopleon notice, like don't get out of
pocket that I may react in andthat I have the right to react,
like I don't have to understand thatyou may blah blah blah nothing. Yeah,
And I think there's so many differentlevels of assumption that people can have.
So for people who don't know,there are different types of swingers,
(14:54):
different levels of swinging for people,like some people are like we only do
soft swap just like there's no penetration, but maybe we'll do everything up to
that point m full swab where peopleare doing everything, or some people like
we don't swing in the same room. Other people like, we have to
swing in the same room, youknow. So I think it's very important,
(15:15):
like just because you're at a swingersclub or a party or something like
that, don't assume nothing about nobodyhave a conversation first, and it might
be a conversation where y'all all buttneckit together doing something, but it's still
important to have to say, isthis okay? Are you okay? Do
a happier consent? Sent sexy isfun? People need to stop sleeping it
(15:39):
is. It also keep you outof a lot of trouble. So one
of the one of them, oneof the other. Either. It wasn't
a cruiser resort. One of theseplaces that we went to. They had
the different bands that meant different things, which was really cool. Is like
a way of communicating without necessarily Itwas like, you know, like I'm
open to swab, I'm buy likeall kinds of different things, which I
(16:00):
think is really cool. I betthat cruise had edm on it, every
cruise on it. I really wantto go to one of those like the
um what is his name? Theradio show hosts that used to do those
cruises. I'm not even gonna Iwas about to say, I want um
Sindbad to throw uh swing so atleast I know they go have some live
(16:26):
ass musical or whoever. That thenew version of that is, you know
what I'm saying. Yeah there isYeah, but they don't do. It's
a lot of these um, alot of these groups. That's the other
thing. Like they they have thesecruises or these events, but they don't
market them as swingers, which isdifficult because then you're in them, because
(16:48):
then you get the wrong people andthey'd be like, Yo, what the
fuck? Right? Right? Idon't like that. I don't like that.
It was like an assumption. SoI mean I think that that is
etiquette, is like, know whatgoes on in the space that you're in,
that's important, super important. Um, what else comes to mind?
Etiquette? Etiquette, m etiquette.Well, I don't know if this is
(17:11):
etiquette, but I do have somethinglike a public service announcement for all people
who throw swingers events, parties andall of that stop with the motherfucking devil
eggs, macaroni salad, tuna salad, anything mayonnaise based at these events.
Seems like a bad fucking idea,you know what I'm saying. Maybe you
(17:33):
should go more on the healthy sideor even on the protein side of things,
but people don't need that much milkat these type of joints. Yeah,
bad food, which and you seeyou see like people like okay,
so there's the people that are justlike indulging and you're like, really those
people, that's like, but I'mtrying to do antal though. Other you
(17:59):
know, it's either like you seea whole whole tray of food being wasted
because it's the wrong type of food, or but I do think you should
pay attention to the fact that thereis a whole long list of foods that
are labeled as afrodisiacs that are perfectfor those type of events. Yeah,
you know, but that I don'tknow why, but that shit always bothers
me. I think another thing,and this is actually my first time ever
(18:22):
going to like a legit swingers event. I did not know it was a
swingers club. Oh that's poor etiquette. That's really fucked up. Yeah,
you know what I'm saying, that'snon consensual. It's it's actually one of
the few times that I ever wentto a swingers event that I was like,
I'm not prepared, like and itwasn't even that. It's like,
(18:48):
I was such a long, crazyass story, but I'll only take this
portion of it. It was likea club in Queens that you know,
you had to let the people knowto even get in like some old locked
door type shit. So I waslike, oh, maybe they're gonna have
strippers or something. I don't knowwhat the fuck, but I was there
(19:08):
for a meeting, Like this iswhere someone chose to have a meeting I
was. I was supposed to.This is like one of the first films
I was ever going to be in. I was like eighteen years old.
So this producer invited me and twoof the actresses to meet him at this
(19:30):
club, but never said, like, yo, this shit is a swingers
club, said. One of theother actresses was there already and she was
partying. She wasn't involved in anything, but she was just kind of like
she the one who was like comingme real quick. And then opened up
this back room and it was justlike this huge room full of mattresses and
(19:52):
leather couches and people fucking. It'slike in a warehouse and shit, it
was bugged out. So I waslike chilling. I was watching for a
minute, but I was just kindof like, I'm here for this person
to pay me. I'm not fuckingthese people for free. I don't know
any of these fucking people either,you know what I'm saying. So like
my hustle of mind state was like, no, we ain't doing this,
Like it was different when I wouldgo with like a partner or something like
(20:14):
that. But you just bring mehere, Like, nah, you don't
get a free show. But Ithink about there are times that people have
tried to bring people. Also,it's important to know sometimes people show up
with people at swingers events that arenot they're significant other. You know what
I'm saying. So those kind ofsituations. I feel like if you are
(20:37):
in a situation where you are bringingsomeone who is not your significant other and
you're meeting up with people who aremarried and swingers like that, you should
disclose things like that. Right,there's nothing wrong with it, but you
should disclose things like that before peopleget into situations that they don't know about.
Let me tell you something. IfI see any of my home girls
husbands out while we out and about, well, that's different if that's someone
(21:00):
who's cheating. You know what I'msaying. I'm not talking about nobody.
I'm just saying that people bring whoeverthey bring. Some people do go to
these events like I am trying tobe with other married people because it makes
them feel a certain level of comfortfor being with other people who they feel
like this person is spoken for God, this person has ties to somebody or
(21:22):
whatever, so they feel more comfortablestepping outside of their own relationship. I'm
not even just saying people hiring people. I'm saying people who are like,
oh, this is just we justthe met On tender and we're gonna show
up here, you know what I'msaying, Like some some people, but
then they front you know what I'msaying, so you know that is a
whole thing. Be honest, behonest, which should go in your regular
(21:45):
fucking life to them. Right.Is this show really about swinging or just
about being a good human? Ithink that the part of swinging that really
does interest me and part that Ilike personally. I like to watch my
partner be pleased, but I alsolike I like to hunt together, like
(22:08):
that part of it is very fun. Yeah, like seeing I guess it's
the I don't know if it's theSapio Emmy or whatever, but like those
first initial conversations that you have withsomebody where you might be physically attracted to
them, but then you have thatkind of getting to know you shit where
(22:29):
it's like, oh man, thisperson is complete fucking bird. But like
the ones where it really hit andy'all start connecting and there's like a rhythm
in your conversation and all of thatshit like oh yeah, like I really
want to fuck this person now,Like I enjoy that shit. And if
you can have that with either yourpartner is having it or it's a group
(22:51):
conversation, like that shit it sectuallyto me. I like that. Another
point of etiquette is I don't believein like taking for the team, and
I think that people good etiquette isrespecting like your partners boundaries, respecting like
having that signal of like yeah,you're exactly and not changing, not changing
(23:17):
the boundary like that is something thathappens. And you see, I've been
a crisis counselor on these lifestyle tripsand events because of things like that,
Like one, alcohol gets involved sometimesand that can make things really difficult.
Or people go in under like falsepretenses that they can handle this situation and
(23:40):
they can't. But a lot oftimes, a lot of the things that
come up are like we agree tothis, and this person got excited and
then started to do some other things, you know, or they are expecting
me to meet them where they are, and I'm like, you know,
not there. I don't know ifwe I don't know if this will have
(24:00):
to say be saved for our exepisode. But so like my time really
really going to swingers clubs and stuffkind of slowed down when technically it stopped
completely when I got into this onerelationship, but my partner was not with
that ship, and when we werekind of like trying to find ways to
(24:22):
to meet up and compromise, weactually had a good compromise, like let's
go to that club. We don'tgot a funk with nobody else, but
like let's just go to get watchedbecause my exhibitionists needed to be on display.
And that was cool. But Ido notice, like some other people
(24:45):
in the club, if they've approachedus and we were like, no,
we're good like that, they like, that doesn't mean we can't speak,
that doesn't mean we can't you know, share a drink or whatever the fuck.
But like then they're just like,oh they't they ain't fucking with us,
so f them, like you know, and everybody's but everybody's level of
(25:06):
engagement can always be different. Youknow. Some people might just be like,
you know, we're here for heavypetting, you know what I'm saying,
Like, we like being touched byother people, or we like having
sex with one another in a groupof other people fucking, And I think
that this is this goes even beyondswinging to me, this just goes with
how people engage in sex in general. Right, just because someone doesn't fuck
(25:30):
like you fuck or whatever, doesn'tmean that y'all can't have a sexual experience
together if you find a way to, if you enjoy the person. You
know what I'm saying, Like,if people say, like, oh,
they shut me down for this onething, now I can't funk with them
at all, Right, you don'thave You can find ways to still engage
and enjoy one another based on thelevels of where they're at, and you
(25:52):
never know, you might find somethingelse that you enjoy with them and vice
versa, or knowing that they cantrust you for that first thing might open
up to something more for you lateron. But everybody's in such a rush
to get to that one spot,and that's the That's one thing that I
do see a lot at clubs becauseit's like people have built up for that
(26:15):
party, that cruise, that eventfor months, you know, so they're
like, we're gonna do this,you know, And it's not only because
it's not just you thinking you're gonnado it. You're sitting there talking about
that ship with your partner, y'allplotting this ship. You're like, y'o,
we saw this profile as somebody elsethat's gonna be there. We're gonna
hili ad them, you know whatI'm saying. And then you get there
(26:37):
and it's not that yeah, youknow, so you can't be all but
heard about that, Like you beopen minded, be respectful of other people
in their boundaries. I like theidea of having sort of like another plan
in case, like the fantasy thatyou have, you know, because oftentimes
you don't know who all is goingto be there, if they're gonna be
(26:59):
feeling you, if they're if theirrules are meshed with yours. But like,
so what is our other option?And like you said, like we'll
just have sex in a different waythan we're comfortable, or then we are
used to doing but in a waythat makes us comfortable, or we'll just
have like great conversation. You know. If people don't want to have sex
with us, maybe we can makeother kinds of connections and like, what
(27:19):
are those kind of connections that wecould possibly make? And that was something
that I was like one of theresorts that we went to, which was
a lifestyle resort, I and I'mstill in contact with this couple to this
day. Is I love there,Like we just come here to like meet
people, and then we like wemeet a solo or you know, a
(27:40):
couple, a couple outside of thesespaces, they were not necessarily comfortable with
swinging um and having sex with peoplein public. They use that trip to
meet other lifestylers and they you know, like they were of a certain status,
whereas the like, if we likethis couple, we will fly out
(28:03):
to go and see them or spendour like mediear vacation with them. I
was like, I like that.I love that. That's like that's daty.
Yeah, It's it's good because it'sbetter than going to a club where
you don't know if people are intowhat you're into. You're going to a
space specifically knowing like right, thesepeople are into what you're into, so
(28:23):
you don't you don't have to rush, you know, you know, the
end result can be what you wantedto be absolutely and yeah, we want
up having Like you'll probably remember thecouple I said, we had a great
conversation with them at the pool thatYou're like, I don't know who you
were talking about already. I lovedit. It was such a it was
nice and it didn't feel it didn'tfeel pressured. So then like they create
(28:48):
like a safe space, like youknow, it's like, oh, like
this is safe. We actually getto know each other. We're not like,
so what are you doing after dinner? So are you gonna be in
the playroom later? Like that?I don't like that, So I'm thinking
of another thing. So party wise, you know, you have certain parties,
and this is for people who throwevents. This ain't even just for
the for the for the party goerspeople who throw events. Look, I'm
(29:12):
looking directly fucking at you. Stophaving them racist fucking rooms. Stop it.
Stop having them chocolate rooms as youcall it, or the plus one.
What they did that after they realizedthat calling it the mandingo or the
chocolate or the blackety black room wasracist as fuck. So stop doing that
(29:33):
shit. So I have questions aboutthat. I have I definitely have some
some I have some thoughts, butI'm gonna pit white people throwing these parties
who specifically do that shit. It'sfucking fetishizing black folk. It's racist.
Stop doing that shit. I'm gonnapost these a questions, but they are
definitely loaded with opinions and thought.So have you had this s experience?
(30:00):
I want to go back to thePlus one room, don't don't let me
forget that, and the Chocolate roomand the white lady who brings a group
of black men specifically to these spaces, and it's hired to do these things.
You all know who you are becausethere's multiple companies that operate specifically like
(30:22):
that. We're gonna talk about that. Have you had different experiences with how
party goers interact with you as ablack man versus how they interact with other
with with non black folks in termsof like inviting you to play? And
(30:45):
I know that you haven't been apart of these like the fetish rooms and
all that kind of stuff. Yes, what is the difference the differences?
They want to go directly to sex. They don't want to have a conversation.
And I already told y'all what Ilike. I like the conversation.
I like to get to know people. I like to I like to desire
something more than flesh, you knowwhat I'm saying. There's nothing wrong with
(31:06):
that. I just like to meit's it's it's an even better high when
I want all of someone. Anda lot of times it's like, oh,
I've heard what is it? Theone person this on the fucking cruise,
This one lady called me an exoticanimal. I was like, what
the fuck did you just say?Like you know what I'm saying, like,
(31:26):
oh, you're such an exotic animal? Like is that supposed to be
a fucking compliment? You know?Or yeah, you know when someone says
I want you to breed me.Ah, And you know, I know
some people think of that just fromthe u I guess fetish aspect of it,
(31:49):
But not when my ancestors were forcedto breed. No, thank you,
I don't use that word um orjust reference to my skin on my
body in a certain way that it'sjust like you was just talking to this
Caucasian man over there, and youdidn't say any of that, you know,
(32:15):
and it seems like a nice conversation, not that I was all in
and y'alls over there laughing and shit, Yeah, you know what I'm saying,
like, it's it's because we're fetishized. You know, we've gotten into
that before, like on the show, where it's just like you're not valued
as a human being, you're stillviewed as a physical commodity for their pleasure.
(32:37):
Well, I definitely have had thoseexperience with being chocolate all the time,
like why you know, just youcould even just like it's your name
or it's just that that feels reallygross, or I'm seeing people say things
like I, um, oh,I have a dinner date at six,
(33:01):
or oh, we're we're going tocome to your class, but we're meeting
up with another couple for dinner,and then will you still be here at
around eight o'clock? Right? SoI'm like hearing this because a lot of
times we're bending, so you're you'resort of hearing how people are laying out
their plans um and then like whenwe are off for when I went to
(33:21):
a couple of them without you,was like, okay, I'm off the
clock now, so to speak.And now it's like will I see you
in the playroom. We're getting togetherin the buy women's group, and you
know it's like the dinner, youknow, can we do that or because
if you know Jasmine, her mottoin life is feed me, fuck me
(33:43):
flowers. Yes, yes, yes, And that first is in that order
the two the other last two.Can it can be, it can be
feed me flowers, but as longas they feed me is first. Absolutely.
So they always look loose me onit because it's like, why are
you writing me somewhere I'm hungry andum, and then like the name calling
(34:07):
also how I talked about that thatperson grabbing me. I also noticed like
the way people are, especially withyou, how they just like go reach
and touch where you don't see themhaving that interaction with other people with UM.
For me and the women that I'vegone with that have been black women,
there's always this like pulling at uswhere you and I'm observant to like,
(34:32):
okay, because this is a newworld for me, Do I get
offended or is that kind of likehow everything It's like, no, that
is not how everyone is behaving.So this is not gonna Aaron Florida because
of what I'm about to mention.Um, I was watching this thing in
the sixteen nineteen project there it goesthe rest of the episode and they but
(34:54):
they were talking about a lot ofthe stereotypes of black women sexually in regards
to you know, always wanting it, always being ready for it, you
know, can't get enough of it. Is But it's literally, it literally
(35:15):
comes from the plantation and the rapeculture of white men justifying yeah, it's
like but and so many of thestereotypes about black folk come from just justifying
how we were treating So I dothink, you know, people always say,
oh, you know, that's solong ago, but those images,
(35:36):
those ideas have been passed down fromgeneration generation, Like you know, it's
like you go get you a blackwoman or a spicy latina and then you
know, so you're so your wildoats and shit, you know what I
mean. So I do think thatthere's that kind of thing because also,
if you're gonna have an event thatyou label as the Chocolate Room, or
you're gonna have these kind of likeracial fetishizations of people presented on your fucking
(36:02):
programming, people are going to bemistreated at your ship because they're gonna see,
even even the black men or blackwomen that aren't involved in that shit,
the white folks that's there is goingto think, well, if you're
here that's that's of course, that'swhy you're here. You didn't pay like
me to get here. You're you'repart of the help, you know what
(36:22):
I mean? And and and there. Yeah, you're you're something for me
to play with. You You're nota person for me to have a conversation
with. So that's why I say, like that shit makes those events unsafe
for people. They may get unsafefor people of color, clearly non enjoyable,
(36:44):
you know what I'm saying. Soyou know, if you're out there
throwing events, do better. Andalso if you're being invited to events,
think about what you're you know,what it is that you may be walking
into and how you are contributing toan unsafe situation for other peop Because I
remember being on a cruise and somebodybeing like, oh you with the whatever
(37:04):
the name, and you was like, no, what's what's that? Oh
you did You're not with the You'relike nah, and um, you know,
and and then you kind of seehow people were approaching you completely,
like as if they could have accessto you in this particular way, which
is um, yeah, that's it'smind boggling to me. Okay, here's
(37:29):
another thing that I don't even knowhow someone messes this up. But I
have been to a party where theydid not have something that is completely utterly
required. Okay, so it's oneof two things, but I'm gonna go
with lube. Okay. The secondthing I was gonna say it was condoms
(37:53):
they did have. They did havesome lubricated condoms, some prophylactics. I
don't know if they were. Okay, I showed up with my own,
my own loop too, but likeI was just like, how do they
not have that for people in becausesomewhere somewhere asking me about my louis no,
I mean sure, but you knowwhat I'm saying, it's just like
(38:14):
one of those kind of situations youshould have that, and it wasn't in
the invitation to bring your own.Now I will say also etiquette with that,
right, Like I think you shouldbe responsible to bring like the loupe
that you and the propyleactis that youknow will work for you. UM work
with your body. I love seeingum in like the women with the little
(38:35):
like little baggy it has their littlewhole kid, you know. But as
a person who throws events like havinga variety can't costa rica we had a
wide variety of loops, so manydifferent kinds assortment an assortment and thinking about
(38:57):
like body safe, body safe productsand things like that. I think that's
super important. I remember hosting theBuy Women's room with um our friends in
the industry. I can finally aname I can say with organic loving and
yeah, and I remember us runningaround like crazy like we need dental damn,
(39:21):
right like not And and the womenwere prepared to just like cut condoms
and I mean they could, butwhy should they? You know, that's
a good point. Someone actually onour Kink and Costa Rica trip ask that
when we were having like one ofthose conversations about asking anything, and they
were like, when I go toevents and it's women's events, they don't
(39:44):
have dental damn. But if itwas an event with men, they would
have condoms for oral And that isalso one of those kind of things that's
like where people make the mistake.Like I mean, granted people be like
men might not have the hygiene thatwomen have on a on a larger scale.
(40:05):
Oh that's my next etiquette, goahead, but yeah, that is
very important etiquette. But diseases don'tknow no gender or orientation anybody can fucking
have them, right, So ifyou should be, you should be protected
at all times with everybody. II you know, we we were so
fortunate to have travel with a groupof people that were so sexually responsible sexual
(40:28):
health, responsible about their sexual healthand that were just like open to to
sharing, um what they were workingwith or what they weren't working with,
so that we could all make likevery very um responsible decisions. But knowing
that that may not be the case. UM, it is important to consider
your sexual health and wellness by makingsure you either you make sure they have
(40:50):
what you need or you bring whatyou need. Absolutely okay. So hygiene
important. It is so so important. And like I think about you know,
like when okay, so when you'retelling me that you was partying in
Queens and are in the city,I'm like, so y'all take the train
there, or like okay, y'alldrove Okay, So that's good. Um,
(41:13):
so that's a short amount of timelike sitting on your ass, right,
and then like they also have showersin that spot exactly you can shower
and walk around with a towel ora rope. I like clubs that or
or events that have that built intothe protocol because not everybody's um starting point
is the same fact, you knowwhat I'm saying, or just like I'm
(41:37):
even thinking like you know, likeyou're adrenaline, like you're excited. Oh
that makes me think, I don'tknow if this spot is still there.
Pleasure Garden in Philly, they hadlike these showers that you could like see
okay showering. Yeah, they Imean they had some also that was private,
but they had something like if youwanted to like just show up and
(41:58):
just I'm naked, I'm getting clean, and y'all watch like that was a
very fly for each other. Thatis very sexy. Butever, you know,
at our events saying like okay,so now it's a good time to
freshen up while we go ahead andset up right, So it's like an
invitation to consider that you're going topotentially be close to other people now would
be a good time to freshen up. But making sure that you have like
(42:21):
the proper soaps and all that othergood stuff that you need for your body
to be clean. Considering yeah,like considering your nerves, you know,
and like that you may start tosweat or if you have a really strong
body order like that could be aturn on your pheromones. It can also
be a turn off just the sameway like perfumes and different types of creams
(42:45):
and things can be. So Ithink kind of common sense like if you're
going to be in a public orshared space, sort of neutralize the things
that you may like in your ownhome. Oh that leads me to another
one, shared space, So cleanup after yourself. Yeah, you know,
(43:05):
I definitely have been to clubs wherewhere people like leave a mess,
and you know, there are peoplethat are employed by the club to clean
up, but they're not. Theyshouldn't have to clean up all your sh
like, come on now, youknow, like if you just flinging condoms
or ordental damn in the air orwhatever, like, it's not necessary.
It's not necessary, yeah, youknow. Um. And then also,
(43:29):
you know, places provide you withtowels, they you can take the sheets
and just put them in the receptaclesthat are usually there for you. Um.
But yeah, that's a bad one. But I feel like that's another
one that goes to the rest ofyour life too. When you share a
space, I'm banging the mic andshit, take care of people's stuff now
(43:50):
space, you know what I'm saying, In a in a ship space,
you should definitely clean up after yourselfwherever you are, but especially in that
kind of spot where it's you're fluid, don't, yeah, don't leave that
for other people to clean up.And also it's like if I see a
sheet, I may and usually it'slike dark, I may not think that
(44:12):
somebody was just on it, andlike that's really gross to like lay down
in somebody else's mess. So Ihave one more thought on etiquette, and
if you'll match me with another one, this one is really really really important
for me. I don't think thatyou have to connect with people that you
(44:32):
meet and swinger spaces outside of thosespaces. And I think that this can
get a little bit like how wetalked about like having consent, knowing sort
of what your boundaries are, whatyou're going to do physically, what you
know you and your partner or partnersare comfortable with. But we talk about
(44:53):
this so much in BDSM, right, But like what's going to happen at
the end. And I I remembergoing to my first swingers um event where
or not event, first club Ionly played with you and the two people
that we you know that we wentwith and then there was a person that
was watching us, and then afterlike he approached me for my number,
(45:16):
which like it was nice to tiwnout to be a nice person, but
like in Retmo's BacT, I'm kindof like, why did you do that?
You know, um, mostly ifyou're not involved in a thing,
yeah, that's yeah, And Imean it was maybe it's just one of
one of these like kind of beingcertain with yourself how you feel about that,
(45:37):
because I think like now I probablysay like, oh, no,
thank you, um, just herefor the here for the day, here
for the moment, like we shareda moment and we're done. But I
think I was, uh, Imean it was all new to me,
so I was a little caught offguard. But also we've been like just
for our last trip, we madeit really clear like if you would like
(45:59):
to engage with somebody after you know, this event, like we won't be
sharing an email list or anything alongthose lines. I think it is really
important for the person that is thecoordinator or the person hosting that you allow
people that privacy, Like y'all arenot a tribe now you you know,
had a shared experience and allow peopleto decide if they want to carry that
(46:21):
experience forward. And I do thinkthat maybe checking in with yourself deciding like
do I want to do I wantto just have this moment and if I
run into them again here or inthe lifestyle circuit, or do I really
want this person to message me tomorrowlike how you doing? It's everybody's it's
every individual's choice. And I thinksometimes I can see where people are like
(46:49):
I want to hang out with peoplethat are like me, and then also
some people they host smaller events orother couples at their home and things like
that. But then there are otherpeople just like this must it at the
club? Yeah, we came,we danced, we out, you know
what I'm saying. So I thinkthat's very important to be able to respect
people in that and just like maybejust asking in that way, do you
(47:10):
do you communicate with folks outside ofhere and then be okay with that yes
or that no, versus of moredirect like you know, like can I
get your number? I mean alot of times people will be like are
you on this particular website? Wherecan I find you? Yea where?
And it's like, oh no,you can't that's okay too. And then
(47:35):
when it comes to that also andthis all right, So here's another one
I got for you, the Unicorns. So there are a lot of different
events that will some will allow singlewomen, some will allow single men,
single men. Speaking to you directly, I've been a single man that swingers
(47:58):
events before, so I'm gonna speaking. Gotta this camera here, to this
camera here. All you gotta do. Shull out, just shut out.
Don't even donna for real. Like, as as a single man at some
of these events, people come acrossas extremely pushy. And I know that
(48:23):
people are like in their mind it'slike a I gotta I gotta get it
in kind of like we were talkingabout with couples who you know, over
planned for the event. So it'slike you're a single person and it's just
swirling around in your head. Trustif any of those couples want you,
they will come and get you.They will come and get you. You
(48:45):
know what I'm saying. But it'slike, you know, for so many
people, this is a space wherethey're like, this is what I want
to do, this is what Iwant to experience. I know I can't
do and experience this outside because it'sunsafe. So if you're acting the same
way that creepy ass, overbearing ass, annoying ass, fucking predator ass men
(49:10):
do outside of these swingers events,that ruins the safety for everybody inside of
it. So if you're all,like, yo, excuse me, you
know what I'm saying, just botheringpeople? Yeah, Like, And that's
why there are certain events where theydo have people who are hired to be
(49:32):
there. I've actually worked at anevent where I was hired to be a
unicorn and that ship was dope.But even then, as the unicorn,
I was greeting people at the door, and then if they wanted to hiller
me, they came and got me. You know what I'm saying, It's
very important to respect those boundaries becauseit can come off really fucking creepy.
(49:54):
And since it's a space that peopleare expecting or expecting others to have sex,
if you're just kind of leaning onsomebody, then it does come all
very predatorial. As a professional unicorn, is that something that do you do
any type of consultation with? Like? Is that something someone could actually hire
(50:19):
you to help orient them too?Absolutely. One of the clubs that I
worked that I had to. Ihad been there long enough to kind of
like when they had a new guyor a new a new woman come into
work, I would kind of tellthem, like, this is what's expected
of us. But also like,from my time working here, this is
what you look for is which itwas like an after hours swingers club in
(50:40):
New York. And it's a randomass building that spot with wild, so
fucking wild, but it'd be likebut and and from being there, I
noticed and was able to experience alltypes of fucking swingers. Not because they
let they let single men in forlike a super high price. Okay,
(51:02):
right, they let single women infor not higher price at all. They
probably was just like, sure,come on in, but like it was
like a couple's It was sold aslike a couple's um playground in a way
where you can find whatever you're lookingfor, where there's other couples, single
men, single women. You know, So you really had to learn to
(51:25):
gauge the room and engage people becausesome people they are shy and you're the
way they're letting you know you're interestedis they're fucking staring at you and like
kind of giggling or whatever, thefuck. And then there's other people that
allowed and boisterous that would be like, oh, you know what I'm saying
(51:45):
that, And it ranges from peopleand but think of how extreme that is
and then all the variations you havein them between. So you have to
be able to be respectful of whereeverybody else is or if you are that,
if you know you are one ofthose men who paid the money to
go into the club, you don'twant to get thrown out for being an
asshole, right, you know whatI'm saying. I mean the fact that
(52:06):
that there is um professional etiquette that'sattached to it. I do think that
lay folks can learn, you know, from that. If you want to
learn how to be a unicorn,I'm talking to you. Hit me up,
me and this camera have good reporttoday, I see are you?
Are you hooking up with it?I'm good with it? All right?
(52:30):
Cool? Well, I think thatwe hit on some of our high high
points and low points with swinging andfor those that of you that are interested
in traveling with us, again,not necessarily to swing, but you know,
to engage in all the things satoto be whatever you want to be.
(52:51):
That's what we do and we're goingto be going back to Costa Rica,
so you can go on the websitewithin your application, and we have
some other locations coming up as well, so definitely make sure that you follow
us on all the various forms ofsocial media that we are shadow band on,
but definitely go to kink and CostaRica dot com. We go to
(53:13):
jet Setting, Jasmine dot com,Kingdowar dot com and it will lead you
to all the spaces that we at. It's the ten Swing Commandments broad boo
boo, that's what we should callthat ship. Well, Papa mister gave Richard
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