February 2, 2023 • 60 mins
In this episode, the tables are turned and Jasmine has put on her interviewer hat and asks King some really in-depth questions on life, music and directorial aspirations. This goes beyond the usual subjects. If you enjoyed our last episode, watch this one to complete the 2 part series!
Socials:
Jasmine- @Jetsettingjasmine
King- @Therealkingnoire
Royal Fetish Radio- @Royalfetishradio
AD:
Lust Arts - https://lustarts.com
Socials:
Jasmine- @Jetsettingjasmine
King- @Therealkingnoire
Royal Fetish Radio- @Royalfetishradio
AD:
Lust Arts - https://lustarts.com
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:13):
Yes, I did one one pizzadelivery scene and this was this was years
ago, and the house, thehouse was fucking incredible, like literally you
could have made one of us anarchitect or like that's how dope the house
was. It wasn't It was inLA and it was like they flew you
(00:35):
away to La to deliver a pizzaand dick. But the pizza it literally
I was like, that's what y'allwant. Because they also didn't give me
wardrobe, like they didn't tell meahead of time. I looked like like
how I look right now? Exceptit wasn't an RF that's sure. It
might have been a like a musicis my weapons. They didn't even have
(00:57):
like a porn pizza's pizzas John Johnyour couch. But listen, we hear
from some of our colleagues in thein the industry. They'd be so mad,
like, oh, I came outto LA to film school and LA
(01:19):
just eached you up. But thenyou see the work that they do when
they have a budget and a house, It's like, how the funk you
thought you was gon survive in realHollywood with that bullshit? As you would
be wasting. You know how manybudgets like you get out that is not
fright, Like I look at filmsthat made it that did like you know,
more like mainstream films that made it, that had small budgets, and
I was like, y'all had amazingscripts, ideas or not even just equipment,
(01:46):
like the director of photography was supercreative or whatever. But I do
think and and to some of thepeople's credit, they can only shoot what
that company has ordered from them.So it's the companies that make the same
cookie cutter shit over and over again, and they and they do shit like
I don't know, let's just sayit's pizza delivery scene. So we'll do
(02:09):
one that's straight, we'll do onethat's gay, we'll do one that's lesbian,
we'll do one that's trends and literallyhave the same script, same location,
same set, same shots, noteven like down to the exact same
shots like you can find with someof these companies. You can find the
same exact scene four times, fivetimes even. And then they wonder why
(02:36):
people are unimaginative sexually, because whenthey go to the places that they're going
to to get some ideas and imagination, that shit is unimagined. I could
almost see the closet of the personwho creates that business model. It's like
ten khaki pants, four blue shirts, three white shirts, and two pairs
(03:00):
a little first. I ain't saying, but you see him though, don't
you. I don't know why I'mpicturing them like, um, that episode
of Atlanta where he had the moviestudio, don't bring that. I'm bringing
that wicked show up, yo,that was my show man, that show
(03:22):
I was hoping they would have more. It stirs something in me. It's
very good, but it's like it'sit's it's so good that it's bad for
me. But that even leads tokind of like what we were just saying,
like it's a creative spin like partsof it are funny, other parts
of very like Twilight zonish and shitlike that touches on topics of the day,
(03:49):
some real shit like anybody who's beenin the music doesn't like Yo.
That whole season when they was inEurope was just so on point. But
I'm getting I digress that motheruck istalented and shitn't be You wouldn't get a
pizza porn shoot out of him evenif he didn't make it top Atlanta that's
what you're gonna get. Pop thatCouci Pepperoni, Pop that Papa John.
(04:12):
So we are back. You're lookingmagnificently. Thank you, thank you.
I like the way that you've beenlooking at me. I'm trying to do
my best. Keep my eyes up, don't. It's very busy. I
want you to thank you. Iam very busty. You know what that
means. Your kids are hungry.That's awesome. True. So we are
(04:40):
doing something slightly different. Yes,today, your idea give credit words due.
You thought it would be a greatidea for us to interview each other.
I do because people have done sucha horrible job at it. That's
not what you said, Okay,what you said out of your mouth.
(05:00):
I wanted us to ask questions thatgo deeper into some of the questions that
people have asked us before, youknow, because I get it's funny like
when I do my fetish Fridays,I get asked literally. So there's certain
people, and you know who youare. You ask me the same question
every single week, And if Ihave answered it once, I'm not answering
(05:26):
it again. And if I haven'tanswered it yet, I'm not going to
because there are certain there are certainquestions that's just like come on you,
yeah, Google, Yeah, ButI do think that usually when we're on
a show, it's our first timeon that show, so they have to
ask a certain amount of surface tointroduce us to their to their audience.
And then it's like, but Iwant to go real deep on this ship
(05:48):
though. Well that's that's one thing, right. Um. Also, we
can be very very challenging to interviewwhen we have something that we want to
talk about, and I think thattoday, um, because we do know
(06:10):
how to work each other well,and we do. That's why you would
addressed the interview means. Of course, I was like, first of all,
Blue is calming, right, soyou ain't gonna get ra ra on
my f and I wanted to giveyou somewhere nice to descend to if you
need like a moment to gather yourselfin my bosom down, you just lay
(06:30):
down, all right? So areyou ready to get started? Is that
a Gail King tactic? No?I'm ready? Oh you did do them
on the on the cards. Idid. Are you're way more professional?
Yeah? And okay, so okay, let me let me interject real fast.
(06:54):
So when we were on the EmotionPicture where I met you. Um
My brother Victorious told me that hethought that I would become sort of like
the um, like a sex versionof oprah or um or you've said,
like a black, younger, moreyou know, thriving hot version of doctor
(07:14):
Ruth. And and I always saidthat was really cool because I wanted to
go to school as a communications majorand then I got pregnant and ended up
in sociology and social work. Itall worked out, right, it all
worked out here we are. Butum, I always said like, oh
that's nice, like people see somethingin me that I guess I saw it
(07:34):
myself. And so when we're like, oh, I'm going to get to
interview you, I was like,oh, like what would I do on
my set if this were my myshow? Show? So look, oh
wow that it is right, butthey'd be like very cooler cards. But
I would have the um the logoof my guests, you know, so
(07:58):
that you're getting your branding while you'reshow, and that you're also looking at
something that's comforting and confident, likethis is your ship, that's your shit,
right, you know what you're saying? So much pressure for me.
That's why I always go first.You taught me that I'll open the show.
But don't worry. I have allyour saved and end to end encrypted.
(08:20):
She's got my shirt on WhatsApp andpro time Telegram one of them.
You're on truth Social. No,okay, that's not encrypted at all.
Okay, all their informations in Chinaalong with yours on TikTok Okay, we
can all day. We're both avoidinggetting into this interview, so let's go
(08:41):
right into it. But I wantto preface that I know you don't know
any of the questions. Didn't Ispecifically told you aad of time, and
um, I really wanted to ask. I want to ask you things that
either I don't know the answer toI want to know more, or I
really feel like there's a benefit toyou sharing this, and the benefit may
(09:03):
not even be for you, itmay be for other people to hear your
answers. And that being said,if it doesn't feel comfortable or you feel
like you know, I need toput myself first, like pass, okay,
I'm with that. The one thingI also have to remembers, if
I storm out of this fucking interview, I'm just gonna see you at home.
Well, I'm going to see youeven in the car on the way.
(09:26):
You're gonna storm out and pull thecar up there, and don't break
nothing on your way out because it'scoming out of your all right now,
I don't think there's anything like that. So I have some some little random
games. Okay, this one's calledstop looking. Listen, grab your phone
and tell me what tabs are openon your Chrome and your Safari. Nothing
(09:50):
on my Chrome. You don't haveChrome on your phone? I do,
I just never use it? Allright? Well, this is crazy because
I have U so many So doyou want me to pick a certain number?
All of them? All right?FedEx only fans Houses by Frank Lloyd,
(10:11):
right south the bees Bees looking lookinginto some electric h fetish equipment.
Oh okay. The nominations for theTA Show, which people should be nominating
(10:35):
me and my scenes for? Howdo they do that? I think I
think it's actually over now. Okay, So when you get the nomination,
they should be voting for it.Okay. Um. A friend of mine
is an interior designer, Ashley Rose, so I'm looking at her Sacred Space
website. Shout out, okay,Ashley? What else I got Ashley Rose
(10:58):
for our South the Bey Home.There you go this award, Okay,
I think kinking costa Rica of course. An article in the Atlantic by um
tenejasse coats, of course, aboutthe case for reparations. We get them,
(11:22):
they avoid in that conversation the donationwebsite for the Justice Committee. Okay,
make sure that y'all do so.And also, you know, listen
to the song Homegoing. It isgiving Tuesday. Yes, yes, so
(11:43):
there's so much morning I could justkeep going. But wow, that is
pretty telling. Oh. The lastone is this whole article also in the
Atlantic, talking about all the foundingfathers of America who owned slaves. Okay,
all of them? All right,thank you for sharing that gotcha?
(12:05):
All right? Cool, Now thatwe know what takes up space on your
phone, therefore it takes up spacein your mind. I would like you
to talk to me and kind ofwalk me through your current artistic process,
Like what are you bringing to thescreen right now as a performer? What
are you bringing to the screen rightnow as a director? Like give me
(12:28):
the juice, Give me the juice. As a performer, I have just
been interested in being free, andby free, just being myself you know,
like not trying to push myself todo shit I'm not interested in,
but things that I am interested in, if it's an idea or a desire
(12:52):
to like fully experience it and exploreit. Also trying to find new positions
and new ways that feel good forme, and also different ways of pleasuring
my scene partners. But I feellike that changes all the time every anyway
(13:13):
because everybody's different. But um,honestly, my mind has been on directing
a lot. And that goes forwhether it's directing a self shot scene,
directing a scene that I'm in butI have a camera person, and then
directing a scene that I'm not inwhere I'm also doing camera. So it's
like three separate ones. Okay,directing that you're in and you're also doing
(13:37):
camera. Yeah, like a selfshot kind of like setting up tripods and
how to do different angles and makesure that it still looks dope. Because
like, so like sex tapes,Like I fans love my sex tapes,
but I'm like, oh, well, how can I expand on the idea
of a sex tape? Right?Because they know the camera's there, so
(13:58):
I can freak it in as manydifferent ways as I want so like one
I've been even more cognizant about doingis as you know, personally, I
love eating pussy, but in mostporn out there, there is not a
woman's POV of a man eating apussy. So I've been wanting to get
that involved more and find different waysto get the angle. Not just get
(14:22):
the angle, but let the whoeverthe scene partner is know, Like,
what are you interested in seeing whenyou're doing this POV? Not so much
what I'm telling you to do,Just let me know so I can't light
it. You know what I'm interestedin seeing when my POV for that the
back of my head, honestly,God, but you know, um,
(14:43):
but let me let me ask thisand also give you sort of like I
want to give people a plug topeople that are watching that are directors and
or performers know what you're talking about. But consumers fans, I want them
(15:03):
to like hear what you're talking aboutand go see like you know, it's
like always the whole like traffected,the whole experience. So tell me seeing
that you directed and you were init and you shot it like the whole,
give me one example of that thatthey can go and take a look
at One of my favorite ones thatI did with that was Ethical Slepts,
(15:26):
because it also encompassed what I wantas a director period, which is the
sabio sexual aspect of porn, whichis lost or non existent and most porn
like for me trying to find away to not only if I'm in it,
I'm in it, but also ifI'm not in it, to have
the performers have some sort of connection, an intellectual connection besides just the desire
(15:52):
of fucking on camera. It createsthe same kind of feeling that people get
when they watch I don't Know aromance to thriller, a comedy in the
in the mainstream world, where youyou care about what happens to those characters.
You want to see them together,you want them to fuck, you
want them to feel good, youknow what I'm saying. So it's like
in Ethical slutsum Rain, a writerwho is my co star was actually in
(16:18):
school at the time, in college. Let's be clear. Yeah, she's
in college at the time, andshe was going to be a philebotomist.
So I was just like, Iwant that to be the basis of our
scenes. So we're gonna have awhole conversation about school and sex work and
philosophy, and please throw in anyof your expertise or what you're learning about
(16:41):
in there. And but the wholepremise of it was that she was late
with doing her work right, sowhich led to me like having a spanker
with the book and all this othershit. But like shooting it, I
was like, how am I goingto be able to get a shot of
us talking? That's my interesting SoI kind of focused more on her so
(17:03):
that way I could be everywhere.But then the shots of us fucking and
the BDSM stuff, I was like, I wanna all the talking is in
black and white, and then onceshe gets spanked for the first time is
when the color comes in and thenthere's like all this bright light happening.
So I was like, I justwanted to do something that also looked cool,
(17:26):
you know what I'm saying, LikeI think that that's another thing,
like porn is shot really boring tome, Like there's no use of shadow,
there's no use of color and lightin a way that's interesting to me
as a filmmaker. So like samething, like when I'm not in the
scene, the scene that I shotwith you and Leah Michelle, but directly,
(17:47):
well, I'm just directing. Thescene that I shot with you and
Leah Michelle were was that goddess ritualAnd I had this idea because it is
old ass music video from Digibool Planets. It was the remix of m where
I'm from, and I loved thatvideo. It was shot in black and
white, but I didn't shoot y'allin black and white, but they had
(18:10):
it so like people were still almostlike in photographs, and I was like,
Damn, that would look cool ifI shot y'all still like a photograph
and then transpose like y'all movement fromthat thing, like it just looks sexy.
Y'all had this beautiful attire on andthe we had the Buddha face in
the back like so it seemed almostlike, what's that transcendental meditation but sexual,
(18:34):
you know, So that was likethe whole vibe of it. But
that's and I'm like, I've neverseen a porting shot that way, so
I was like, I want totry and shoot stuff that's just different,
but it's also sexy as hell atthe same time too, because y'all have
like this dom sub dynamic in it, and you're like squirting on and all
this other shit. But at thesame time, there's a part where y'all
(18:56):
are both like perfectly still, andthen it fades into you squirting on her.
Like that shit is dope. Itwas dope like that, I mean,
but like that kind of should getme hyped about. I can hear
it. The art that we make. Just because it's porn don't mean it
can't be beautiful. Tell me giveme one other example of you being in
(19:18):
the scene but directing your videographer oryour team. I'm actually I'm gonna use
this one because someone had just broughtit up to me and it does have
the same element of the sapio sexual. It was a Vegas voyeur where a
(19:41):
mirror styles and we sat and weplayed this whole game of chess that was
non scripted. We spoke about itbeforehand, like she said that she plays
chess. I was like, Okay, We're gonna sit and have a whole
game. Whoever wins wins. Ifyou beat me, you beat me,
it don't matter, you know whatI'm saying, and have a conversation and
(20:02):
there was nothing scripted about it.We had never had this conversation before,
but it's like we're learning about oneanother, because you learn about somebody from
playing chess, period, even ifyou don't talk. But then we're also
having this conversation learning about one another. So that does build a desire for
both of us too, because it'slike, you know, the sabio sexual
aspect of playing chess. But soI had to explain to the camera person
(20:26):
like, no, don't stop,just record the whole thing. We're not
gonna change to anywhere else. Sofeel comfortable because we're gonna be sitting down,
so feel comfortable to move around.I personally like this angle with this
angle, but if you see anotherangle that works, I'll trust your eye,
you know. So like being ableto have that conversation, Like I
love working with people behind the camerawho have like natural eye or ideas,
(20:52):
and we could bounce ideas off eachother that work within the framework or what
we were trying to do. AndI feel like that scene, before we
even took our clothes off, therewas so much tension within the scene because
also the premise of the scene iswe're doing this for this voyeur, right
and the camera, Yeah, us, there's all this tension, and then
(21:18):
we get to the collaring, andthen we get to the spanking, and
then we get to one thing afteranother, and then the crazy shit is
just the timing because we were wewere filming, and there's like a fountain
that explodes literally when we're coming atthe end. And it wasn't it wasn't
planned that way, but it waskind of like we know that we knew
it was there, but we weren'tlike timing our orgasms. That was God's
(21:40):
plan. Exactly, beautiful. Ilove it. Thank you for sharing that.
You get so excited. I lovethat as everybody checks out those those
all three of them, yes,yes, and the ones that came before
them and the ones after all.Right, so this is kind of a
little bit off the cuffway, UM, I'll just ask it, like,
(22:02):
what are men your age supposed tobe talking about right now? Like?
What is what? What do youwhat should y'all be talking about right now?
Because this is like a real Ifeel like I feel so I don't
know, which is why I'm goingto ask you. It's like women in
our thirties we have like a particularconversation. I'm not in my thirties anymore.
(22:25):
But I remember what that like conversationwas was very like very particular.
You kind of knew if you likewhen women tell me like, oh,
I'm about to be thirty, I'mlike, I know exactly what you what
you're thinking, you know what I'msaying, like to an extent, so
like men in their forties, specifically, I'm gonna get very narrow black men
in their forties that have highlighted artor that art has been a central figure
(22:53):
of their life, not necessarily theirbread and butter. But the reason why
I'm asking this is because what Isaid like about women, and kind of
I know that. But when wewere watching DJ Cassidy's Past the Mic,
and he did one with hip hopartists, and I was like smiling from
ear to ear because one I wasexcited to just hear the music again in
(23:17):
that sort of club mixed you know, matchup. But I was like so
happy to see that these men madeI was like, oh, you know,
gang wait, oh he looked good, like you know. Like,
and so men specifically in hip hopor really any form of art have reached
you know, thank god, manyof you have made it to the what
(23:40):
to us is like you know themiracle age of your forties, which is
you know, it's sad that it'syou know, but it is what it
is, and if you made it, it's a wonderful thing. Like what
should y'all be talking about right now? I mean, my my first answer
is everything, Like there's nothing thatwe shouldn't be talking about, but specifically,
(24:03):
I think as black men, weneed to talk about our health because
what is it. We still havea very low mortality rate and life expectancy,
and this is that age where youneed to start, you know,
going to doctors and getting checked outbecause most of us probably didn't have health
(24:26):
insurance for most of our lives.Front during art part, especially if you
were an artist. You know whatI'm saying. So you know your health
physically but also your mental health,you know, because you hit this age
and most of us ain't planning forI know, I ever plan to be
forty. I plan for you tobe forty. I mean, you do
it. I mean I mean,but like before I even met you.
(24:48):
I remember and my freshman year ofhigh school, they sat us all down.
They said, look to your left, look to your right, someone
in his is gonna be dead orsomebody you look at Gona is gonna be
dead and from being murdered and shit, like you know what I'm saying,
Like I remember public This is likethe random like a random drain where they
(25:10):
just brought like it was like alike a tribunal of black and brown kids
that they just brought into the library. Like I remember that ship. M
it's funny that I remember that andI remember from the same thing my homie
TJ told somebody to sit their bigass down in the middle of that ship.
(25:33):
Is funny, but no, andI think so most of us we
think like, yeah, I'm notgonna see past eighteen. I'm not gonna
see past twenty one, So wedon't sit here and playing like a five
or one K or savings or allthese other things. And then also are
you so you are such a wrapperthat you had to like take a four
(25:53):
oh one K and throw another hundredon the top of k. I had,
you know, like we wasn't gettingjacked by FIKA for a tour money,
you know what I'm saying. Soit's like all these things where the
(26:14):
future wasn't planning for and now thefuture is literally now and we're gonna and
we had and some of us,you know, we have kids or guy
kids, nieces and nephews that orjust other loved ones that we want to
leave what we've worked so hard fortoo or actually spend some time enjoying the
fact that we made it to thisage. So taking care of your physical
(26:37):
and mental health is important. Andthen specifically for artists, I just think
of like, if you're an artist, you grow, you know, like
not to say that if you hada hit, you're gonna rily on that
hit, that hits still making youmoney, that shit is still now,
but just as an artist like tobe able to find ways to continue to
(27:00):
either expand the medium that you're inor crossover into different mediums and just continue
to let your creative mind flourish.Because you know, when I when I
look at generations before, and Ilook at somebody like I don't know,
like Miles Davis or somebody who whosecareer spanned decades or or or um like
Louis Armstrong or Duke Gallen. Theyhad decades and decades. So now I
(27:25):
look at hip hop artists who havethe opportunity to do the same thing.
How have you grown as a manhow how have you grown as a human
being through your art? You knowwhat I'm saying. So I'm interested in
that conversation. Wow, yeah,ite them up and have that conversation.
I want to be there. Youhave it at the house. I'll bring
(27:45):
out a charcouterie board. Thank youfor sharing that. Speaking of your art?
What what's what's on the up andup with your music? Cards?
I got an EP and an thealbum that I hope will be released very
soon. I don't got to finda new studio to record out of.
(28:06):
Okay, all right, how areyou feeling? I'm feeling good. Yeah,
I feel great. I'm enjoying this. Yeah. What's the scariest,
riskiest, most nerve wrecking part ofyour job? Because oftentimes you get asked
about the industry right and um oryou're speaking on behalf of like performers as
(28:33):
a whole. But what's a riskto you? Just even between you and
I, like, what's risky foryou is not risky for me, and
vice versa. So how would youanswer that close minded people? I would
say, is it's dangerous when yousee, you know, somebody like the
(28:53):
dude that just shot up that clubin Colorado, who Harbor's hay or resentment
because of who you choose to love, how you choose to live your life,
the color of your skin, yourgender, your job puts all of
that on display exactly, And bothof them do because through music, I
(29:21):
spoke out a lot in regards topolice brutality and so on and such forth,
and a lot of people don't realize, Yo, police be calling you.
You was Hassan Minaj before Hassan Salam, and y'all having similar experience.
(29:42):
He's a little bit younger than you, I believe, but y'all are having
similar experiences. Yeah, my firstalbum got held up at the border because
it was pressed in Canada and oneof the song titles got it held up
at the border, and I hada lot of strange visitors and people trying
to I have conversations with me ormessages and emails and things like that.
(30:03):
So and actually YO shout out toAsaminaj that motherfucker realis fuck that is Yo,
much respect and nothing but blessings tohim and his family and word.
Um. So yeah, I thinkI think that's it because it's like I
truly believe that as long as yourway of life and who you are,
(30:27):
doesn't impede or hinder the progress andlife of other people. It's living.
Let be. But there are peopleout there who I don't know. Maybe
it's part partially because there's a partof them that wants to live in a
way that they're afraid to live,or they're just brought up with more hate
(30:48):
in their heart than understanding or love. That then they lash out, and
that part I think is the mostdangerous aspect. But I was raised by
women who are just like, we'regonna We're gonna get this progress. Like
the greatest My two quotes I livemy life by one is Frederick Douglas.
(31:10):
If there is no struggle, therecan be no progress, and then Jackie
Robinson, which is, um,I'm I'm paraphrasing I'm I'm I don't I'm
gonna fuck up the quote, butit's basically, a life is unimportant excepting
the effect that it has on otherlives. And if you can't stand up
for who you are and what youbelieve in and those things are good,
(31:32):
then what's the point. I don'tknow about that struggle one, but I
can get down with Jackie Robinson quote. Thank you for sharing that that is
really, Um, that is veryscary, and you get some of those
messages still not about yeah, nowabout both? Yeah about both? Man.
(31:56):
All right, let me take youinto the ticket into music and health
and your sex work. Deep dive. It is a deep dive. I
had my spreadsheets out last ye Ilearned a business terminology. I've been around
um, and I've been around youlong enough to ask this question. I'm
(32:20):
taking into the academic space, youknow, because I know, I mean
you you were you were doing education, um in a different way and decolonizing
um, you know art before youwere doing it as a sex educator.
I know that you taught for LondonSchool Economics you is that to get that
(32:45):
right? Yeah? Um? Itis fancy. How many of y'all taught
at London School of Economy? Okay, you taught up and down the um
the West coast. I mean youwere on tour where it's from spirituals to
hip hop yea, from the spiritualsto hip hop, and then I was
(33:07):
like, oh that sounds cute.And then I got on your cotails and
you took me on that with myown workshops. But all that to say,
you you've been doing this for along time, and so I did
want to talk a little bit aboutyour work in academia, but from a
particular, a particular way. Soum, I'll just read this is a
(33:30):
little bit easier. You talk aboutpeople needing to do American history education for
sex education, like to obtain sexeducation in this country, you know,
like contextually in the culture that welive in, sex and the culture that
we live in, you have tounderstand American history as part of it,
or like take chance or where haveyou versus reading like all the how to
(33:52):
books and the video sex tutorials andthere's there's like they're fun, they're freeing,
they are good to know, forsure, are good to know.
It kind of reminds me a littlebit about like when we opened up a
gym and it's like, yeah,you could, you could know all the
exercise and what to do physically,but until you actually learned the body and
(34:14):
how nutrients work and how you knowhow muscles, how muscles, bones,
et cetera move and don't move allthose exercises really don't. I mean,
they mean something, but then you'renot gonna get the outcome, the full
outcome that you want. So Iguess I want I want you to talk
about, Like, what do youmean by that in terms of incorporating history
(34:37):
into how that yields sexual liberation.It's a big question. Take whatever pieces
of it you want to. Well, the how too is only a part
of sex. Like nobody just showsup the fuck and be like penis and
vagina and or penis and anus,or penis and pa. You know what
(34:59):
I'm saying. No one's sitting therejust explaining that shit to somebody, you
know what I mean. Like,but people do share their fantasies, their
desires, people do share their historiesof trauma or abuse and their experiences.
Like so many people are focused rightnow on a body count, which is
(35:21):
the dumbest fucking shit, But they'remore count focused on the number instead of
the actual experience. Like if someonetells you, hey, I've been with
however many people satisfaction right now?Yeah? Out of all of those experiences
you had, how many were actuallygood? How many were bad? How
come? And I do think thatnow especially, we're seeing a lot more
(35:45):
people's interest and fetishes and kinks andand exploring sex. Well, some of
these fantasies and fetishes come from somereal fucked up places, So you should
know what you're walking into. Ifsomeone's like, hey, I'm a queen
of Spades, that mean oh,that means that you're not really interested in
(36:10):
me as a person. You're interestedin my skin color and fetishizing me and
using my sex for your twisted racial, racist fantasy. Or but you wouldn't
know that if you had no contextand the history of you know, it's
and and things are presented. Um. If you're around the santist, this
(36:35):
is a CRT alert um Um.You know you're presented with no context for
why things are in this country becausepeople are ashamed of the history or they
want to sugarcoat the history so theylook better or so that they can continue
to do the racist Yeah, youknow what I'm saying. So in in
(36:58):
in some of these circumstances, youdon't know you're getting used in a fucked
up way, and it's gonna comeback to hurt you or somebody else,
because being racially fetishized is not apositive experience, you know. So or
they think well you're cool with this, you can step it up to this
(37:21):
next shit, you know what I'msaying. And so like, just for
example, with that right. Youknow, so much is focused on,
and rightfully so, overseers, slaveowners, roving white men bands going and
raping black women and black men andchildren during slavery, but also mistresses and
(37:52):
white women raped slaves as well,and that fetishization is what led to Queen
of Spades. So it's like,you don't want to perpetuate that shit.
And and there are some people outthere who might think, you know,
black men are cool or black peopleare cool and want to be around us
(38:14):
and like us and don't want tobe racist. Yeah, so you should
know that shit too, white folk. It shouldn't just be the owners,
shouldn't just be on black folk toavoid your ass. You shouldn't do that
shit right, and without any propercontext or historical information, people just miss
out on that shit. I loveit when, um, you know,
(38:34):
when you are doing teaching a workshopor I don't even really like we do
like an impact claim, people arelike, I really love the way you
know. I love I love howsmart you are and how you are There
any books about BDSM that you thinkI should read to be a better dumb
And you're like the narrative of alike um, And so I and I
(38:58):
know why, I understand that,but I just thought that there would be
a good opportunity for you to makethat like clear connection. Yeah, for
sure. And even even outside ofjust American history, if you're gonna learn
about BDSM, you should also knowabout the Spanish Inquisition. We some of
some or even just even just umtorture devices throughout history. You know,
(39:22):
like everybody's like, oh, Ilove your scene with Misty Stone where you
fucker in the pillory? Okay,cool? Do you know where the pillary
is? Do you know where itcomes from? You know? And people
don't And people don't know like thatship was some ship that was used and
it would be put in the townsquare and that you might be the public
drunkard or something like that, andthey would have you in that ship and
(39:43):
people come point they thing at you, so like I'm sorry, go ahead,
So you might be the so likein those kind of situations, and
the pillory was used for torture methodor but it wasn't a torture method to
the extent like an iron lung orsomething like that. It was used more
(40:04):
for like public drunkard like and thenpeople come and point a finger at you
and say all this shit and itwould be like in the town square for
everybody to see. So like thereis a part of it for people who
might want to be in that there'sa certain sexual humiliation that comes from that.
Or also because for other people it'slike, Yo, this shiit features
(40:25):
my face perfectly right, and I'min a position that I like. But
you should know both if you're gonnaput somebody into that ship, because why
you'll be a better dom is ifyou understand their reasoning for being in that
how your role will be better fortheir experience. I learned something new.
(40:45):
Yes, very cool, thank you. What's your goal to prayer when your
stress? Like, I'm always like, Heavenly Father, oh, in my
head go to prayers? Yeah,so are you reciting in your head when
(41:07):
I'm when I'm stressed? Um,it's probably not that. Uh, it's
probably more like Lord, that's whatI was curious about. Yo, please
let me calm down, let menot while allow okay, let me have
(41:29):
a constructive interaction with this person eventhough they need a mud puddle stumped in
the side of them. You getthe reasoning with God absolutely, okay?
Cool? And it usually is yeah, like have take take control, take
the wheel. All of a sudden, It's like God can be a man
(41:52):
just in that, just in thismoment. Cool, all right. So
which brings me into talking a littlebit about your faith. H all right,
So, um, whatever you're youknow, open to sharing. I'm
really curious to know how being aMuslim man has impacted your life. And
(42:13):
then like all these questions to kindof start bigg and then I want you
to narrow into a perspective of umspecifically here how that has had an impact
on your life, and narrow itdown to your sexual expression. And then
I'd like for you to tell meabout a positive fan interaction as it relates
(42:34):
to your faith. Okay, that'sthat's a heavy one. UM. For
me, when I was younger,when I first taken my shot, how
to it provided a lot of structurethat I didn't have. How old were
you? I took my shot whenI was thirteen? Is that? Is
that the time that most young menboys do? I think most more people
(43:00):
more around the age of like seventeenand eighteen, so like that, I
would say more people. I know, for me, it was definitely like
it helped me with everything, likethe structure helped me with my training with
(43:21):
all the other things I was doing, and as I got older, it
also provided me with more interest ingaining as much knowledge about as many things
as humanly possible. Unfortunately, welive in a world where people only see
certain reflections of Islam that are verylimiting to people in regards to information.
(43:51):
But that's I mean. Christianity hasdone the same thing at different times.
You know, there was the RomanCatholic Church that called the printing press the
devil, you know what I'm saying. So I think, you know,
every every faith has people who arebad actors in it. But for me,
(44:13):
it was more in the sense of, like, you know, learning
about stories about people like let's say, like Manza Muza and the Islamic empires
of Western Africa made me like wow, Like our ancestors mapped the stars and
created algebra, and there's science inthe Qoran if you read it. You
(44:36):
know, all all these kind ofthings made me just want to learn more
and experience more. And then learningand building with people like that are in
Sufism or five percent or more sciencetemple and all these other things just helped
me learn more and more about historythat I wasn't learning in school. And
(45:01):
also from there you get to likeI don't know, with with like Sufism
and things like that, you doget to learn, like about romance,
something that you don't people don't everthink about when they think about Islam,
you know what I'm saying. SoI think that it opened up my mind
to that and for that positive experiencewith fans, I do. I do
(45:22):
often have people who hit me upand just from other countries who are like,
I can't express myself sexually where Ilive, and I appreciate being able
to watch you explore and express andmy fantasies go with you or even people
(45:45):
here who are just like you know, especially especially I get some messages from
Muslim women who are just like yeah, like we need that shit and people
need to be more open, andI don't know, it's it's uh.
(46:06):
I meet more people in the industrywho are actually Muslim too, but they're
not. They they have they don'tspeak about it. So I wouldn't say
nothing about that, because I mean, everybody's faith to me is also that's
a personal thing and if you arecomfortable with sharing it with other people,
that's when all of a sudden.People usually want to attack, but there
are definitely other people who are likeyeah, and and they're they're appreciative of
(46:30):
it. Nice, thank you soum. Usually when we sit down and
people ask us about our family orwhen we've had um the kids over the
last couple of years, people have, you know, they'll say I don't
know that, ask about being parentand the sort of like uh zoning on
(46:52):
me, which is, you know, it's fine, it's natural, like
I had them, um, youknow, oh you miss retiring kids,
breastfeeding, all the other ton ofstuff. But we really get to hear
like men's birth story, right,um, or just like something that was
important to them, or the feeling, the emotions or even you know,
(47:17):
something crazy that happened that maybe themom doesn't even know because you run a
point in them type of situations,and like how important you know everybody's role
is in helping to bring a childto life. And when I look up
birth stories, it's all women tellingtheir birth story and they should and it's
(47:43):
yes, they should, but Iknow how important it is for me,
not not necessarily on a podcast oranything, but just for people after we've
had the kids, to ask themlike what was that experience like for you
or to be able to share thatbecause it is so big, such a
life changing moment for you as aparent, but the minute that it happens,
(48:07):
everything gets shifted to that child,and so you have like this amazing
experience that you're just left to youknow, process or to have on your
own. So I wanted to askyou to tell me something, anything or
everything from your birthing story with yourchildren, either one of them. Nothing
(48:31):
in particular. It's not on you, no pressure. The thing about the
birth of our youngest two that Ialways think about is the sharp contrast between
having a birth at the hospital andhaving a birth in the birthing center because
(48:53):
for me in all aspects, andI understand what you're saying with like,
you know, like we should alltalk about it and stuff, But for
me, I'm fine with it becausemy focus during both of those times is
making sure you're as comfortable and andI'm as attentive to everything that you need
(49:14):
as possible. And then once thatbaby is born that they ain't trying to
run off with the shit or youknow what I'm saying, like take take
the take the placenta, and sellthat shit on the black market or some
shit, you know what I mean, like those those kind of things,
and doing it in a hospital it'scold, and I don't just mean the
(49:37):
temperature, like how they treat you, and I'm watching how they treat you
specifically, and then being able tohave this conversation with other women about how
they felt treated in hospitals to whereasit's specifically when I have spoken to black
and brown women about it, theyhave not had good experiences in hospitals and
(50:00):
it's been like not being listened toin regards to knowing your own body,
and we experienced that in the hospitalor kind of feeling like these people are
just leaning on you. So likewith the birth of our son, it
(50:22):
was so fucking stressful dealing with thehospital. But at the same time,
you know, no matter what,if you're born black in America, you're
you're a miracle birth to me,and being a part of that miracle,
(50:45):
you do have to like say thatprayer in your head so you don't while
out and get arrested at the fuckinghospital for them being rude to your partner
while she's trying to give birth ortrying to force drugs on or not listening
that you need something or like youknow what I'm saying, like that shit
is wow frustrating, But you haveto be in a space that you already
(51:06):
know like yo, if you ifyou turn up in here, they're gonna
say what they're gonna say, andyo, AS's not gonna be able to
be there for the birth of yourbaby. But listen, how listen how
interest like how how nuanced that isbecause usually when when men are asked this
question, it's sort of like,especially black man, it's like I was
praying for a safe delivery, youknow, or you know, like praying
(51:27):
that everything goes right, praying thatshe gonna make it. But as you're
talking here comes at like stream oflike that that constant um baseline of racism
having you know, where it's likeyou're also at the same time like hoping
that things don't go the same wayit was yeah, you know, like
(51:51):
yeah, like as if you're inthe airport and like, I gotta watch
what I'm doing because you know that'scrazy. But the birth of our newest
edition being that we did a birthingcenter and literally we started labor in our
house and then you walked through thedoor to water broke. We was there
(52:15):
with all all our kids, andI mean it happened during COVID, so
it's also like all that that stressoryou know what I'm saying. But we
had our immediate loved ones there,you know, like that that experience was
was was way better, you know. And and like one of my one
(52:36):
of my homies shout out to Nelsonand Andrea we was, I said to
him because he was like, hey, you did the birthlingy center. What
do you think? And and thisis one of the conversations that brothers got
to have and then they had tohave at this age. And it was
just like, Yobe, if youcan't do that shit at home or a
birthing center, do not go tothe hospital if you can. You know,
(52:57):
there are certain circumstances where you haveto and hopefully you have the best
experience you can. But that's whatI think about it when and and honestly,
there is no joy like it andit's and it's worth not turning up
on the people. So you couldbe I mean, I just sound so
(53:17):
interesting like that that stress is eventhere even there then you know, well,
I'm glad you were perfect. Youwere a perfect partner to have birth
to give birth with, and I'mhappy to be a part of your birthday
story. All right, last questionmade it all right? So I we
(53:38):
did make it absolutely despise when peopleare interviewing us and they go from like
like the sexiest, dirtiest thing intoour family, which like, So when
I was putting the questions together,I was like, well, I don't
know what his birthday answer is gonnabe, and I want to end on
a high note, but I damsure don't want to go back to the
(54:00):
beginning. So this is hard,this journalism, Sure, it's hard.
So um, last night this morning, when I was awake all night long,
thisism like kept me up all night. But I was just going down
the rabbit hole and there was aGQ couple's quiz featuring Lauren Nicole London and
I know her middle name because thiswas one of the quiz questions. And
(54:22):
oh no, I'm not, I'mnot, I'm not in the late Nipsey
Hustle and yeah, it was likeabout five years into their relationship. Um,
and it was it was really itwas really cute, and um,
I got a little emotional. Idon't you know, I wouldn't say that
(54:43):
I'm a big fan of either oneof them, Like I you know,
I appreciate his art. Um Iknow her from a couple of movies.
But their love story is, youknow, especially in his passing um as
someone who is like deeply in lovewith their partner and creates work with their
partner. It is like that reallyresonated with me, and I got emotional
watch it because I'm like, ohmy god, she has to look back
(55:04):
at all these interviews. And butthen I was like, well, I
wonder if she finds like comfort inlooking at like the little idiosyncrasies between each
other. So he had reference thatshe was asking certain questions that were like
sort of like yielding him to giveher praise, and I was just like,
(55:24):
oh, yeah, this is good. And he referenced like this is
turning into a Lauren praise session.And I was like, oh shit,
Like I think some of my questionsare like that, because like you get
a chance to ask your partner anythingin front of the world. It's like,
well, I want him to saythis because I want these chines to
know like this, this is thereal deal, like tell him. But
(55:49):
um, so I was like Okay, fuck it. Let me take my
take my moment and turn this intoa Jasmine praise session. From the perspective,
I would love for you to answerthis question in front of me in
the world, how do you loveme? I can't think of a way
that I don't perfect, No,like I I find even we've been together
(56:21):
over a decade, you know whatI'm saying, and I still find new
things where I'd be like, oh, you went to that. That's like
even if I'm not, it's justlike I've learned some new shit about you
today or something you might have doneten years ago that you flipped now it's
like, oh, she's she's grown, or she's adapted, or she don't
flipped up on some shit. Ilike. I like that, you know
(56:45):
what I'm saying. Like I neverhad a relationship long enough that I truly
had to grow as an individual andin a couple with somebody, so like
I witnessed your growth ever every dayand every day I am impressed and in
awe of you as a human being, as a lover, as a mother,
(57:07):
as a business person. Like I'mjust saying, like, you know,
I wish back in the day whenI was doing more music shit,
Like if I had you on theteam, like you'd have been out here
cookie lions in that ship, youknow what I'm saying, Like, but
it's it's being able to see someyour partner, Like I definitely am truly
(57:30):
a believer that, like, ifyou're lucky enough, you find a partner
who is better than you in areasthat either were underdeveloped or not your bag
or just some shit you ain't know, and like all of those levels in
places where you are either like justnaturally better or have learned a skill that
(57:55):
I have it, not only areyou just better at it, but you're
also willing to share that information tohelp me get better at it, which
you know, that's a partnership that'snot even just a relationship, that's a
partnership. Like I want us bothto be sharp, still sharp and still
so like in that aspect and justfor like loving you, I truly realize,
(58:20):
like love is one of those conceptslike God, that you don't always
completely fathom its depth or it's extent, but when you're there and you're like,
oh shit, like I don't takinga whole other leap and bound with
my understanding of what love or whatGod is. And I'm even more in
(58:44):
awe today than I was yesterday.And that's how it is loving you that
I heard that ship that's actually forour kids. Though honest, this ain't
even gonna make the podcast. Itmay not, it may not like that
that that's what they're a part of. That's what they get to be a
part of. And I do feelthat. I feel that you love me
(59:05):
like and I feel the growth inour love. And I learned a lot
of new things about you, andI hope to people listening as well and
appreciate you that much more like thankyou. I appreciate the in depth questions
everybody. Definitely, if you areat home or whatever, go watch those
(59:28):
three scenes that we were talking about, all the other scenes, go stream
the music, catch up on allthe episodes that you missed. And coming
up soon is my questions for jetsetting Jasmine, which out of time?
Well, I mean that's for thenext episode. But I feel kind of
crazy because I'm like, yo,my question is like if a train is
leaving Atlanta at nine am in themorning, and the other my questions are
(59:50):
not this good. So here I'mjust gonna cross out my name and put
your name on it, but YO, thank y'all so much for tuning in.
I hope y'all got to know somemore and we're gonna catchy all on
the next one. Please right upat him.
Yes, I did one one pizzadelivery scene and this was this was years
ago, and the house, thehouse was fucking incredible, like literally you
could have made one of us anarchitect or like that's how dope the house
was. It wasn't It was inLA and it was like they flew you
(00:35):
away to La to deliver a pizzaand dick. But the pizza it literally
I was like, that's what y'allwant. Because they also didn't give me
wardrobe, like they didn't tell meahead of time. I looked like like
how I look right now? Exceptit wasn't an RF that's sure. It
might have been a like a musicis my weapons. They didn't even have
(00:57):
like a porn pizza's pizzas John Johnyour couch. But listen, we hear
from some of our colleagues in thein the industry. They'd be so mad,
like, oh, I came outto LA to film school and LA
(01:19):
just eached you up. But thenyou see the work that they do when
they have a budget and a house, It's like, how the funk you
thought you was gon survive in realHollywood with that bullshit? As you would
be wasting. You know how manybudgets like you get out that is not
fright, Like I look at filmsthat made it that did like you know,
more like mainstream films that made it, that had small budgets, and
I was like, y'all had amazingscripts, ideas or not even just equipment,
(01:46):
like the director of photography was supercreative or whatever. But I do
think and and to some of thepeople's credit, they can only shoot what
that company has ordered from them.So it's the companies that make the same
cookie cutter shit over and over again, and they and they do shit like
I don't know, let's just sayit's pizza delivery scene. So we'll do
(02:09):
one that's straight, we'll do onethat's gay, we'll do one that's lesbian,
we'll do one that's trends and literallyhave the same script, same location,
same set, same shots, noteven like down to the exact same
shots like you can find with someof these companies. You can find the
same exact scene four times, fivetimes even. And then they wonder why
(02:36):
people are unimaginative sexually, because whenthey go to the places that they're going
to to get some ideas and imagination, that shit is unimagined. I could
almost see the closet of the personwho creates that business model. It's like
ten khaki pants, four blue shirts, three white shirts, and two pairs
(03:00):
a little first. I ain't saying, but you see him though, don't
you. I don't know why I'mpicturing them like, um, that episode
of Atlanta where he had the moviestudio, don't bring that. I'm bringing
that wicked show up, yo,that was my show man, that show
(03:22):
I was hoping they would have more. It stirs something in me. It's
very good, but it's like it'sit's it's so good that it's bad for
me. But that even leads tokind of like what we were just saying,
like it's a creative spin like partsof it are funny, other parts
of very like Twilight zonish and shitlike that touches on topics of the day,
(03:49):
some real shit like anybody who's beenin the music doesn't like Yo.
That whole season when they was inEurope was just so on point. But
I'm getting I digress that motheruck istalented and shitn't be You wouldn't get a
pizza porn shoot out of him evenif he didn't make it top Atlanta that's
what you're gonna get. Pop thatCouci Pepperoni, Pop that Papa John.
(04:12):
So we are back. You're lookingmagnificently. Thank you, thank you.
I like the way that you've beenlooking at me. I'm trying to do
my best. Keep my eyes up, don't. It's very busy. I
want you to thank you. Iam very busty. You know what that
means. Your kids are hungry.That's awesome. True. So we are
(04:40):
doing something slightly different. Yes,today, your idea give credit words due.
You thought it would be a greatidea for us to interview each other.
I do because people have done sucha horrible job at it. That's
not what you said, Okay,what you said out of your mouth.
(05:00):
I wanted us to ask questions thatgo deeper into some of the questions that
people have asked us before, youknow, because I get it's funny like
when I do my fetish Fridays,I get asked literally. So there's certain
people, and you know who youare. You ask me the same question
every single week, And if Ihave answered it once, I'm not answering
(05:26):
it again. And if I haven'tanswered it yet, I'm not going to
because there are certain there are certainquestions that's just like come on you,
yeah, Google, Yeah, ButI do think that usually when we're on
a show, it's our first timeon that show, so they have to
ask a certain amount of surface tointroduce us to their to their audience.
And then it's like, but Iwant to go real deep on this ship
(05:48):
though. Well that's that's one thing, right. Um. Also, we
can be very very challenging to interviewwhen we have something that we want to
talk about, and I think thattoday, um, because we do know
(06:10):
how to work each other well,and we do. That's why you would
addressed the interview means. Of course, I was like, first of all,
Blue is calming, right, soyou ain't gonna get ra ra on
my f and I wanted to giveyou somewhere nice to descend to if you
need like a moment to gather yourselfin my bosom down, you just lay
(06:30):
down, all right? So areyou ready to get started? Is that
a Gail King tactic? No?I'm ready? Oh you did do them
on the on the cards. Idid. Are you're way more professional?
Yeah? And okay, so okay, let me let me interject real fast.
(06:54):
So when we were on the EmotionPicture where I met you. Um
My brother Victorious told me that hethought that I would become sort of like
the um, like a sex versionof oprah or um or you've said,
like a black, younger, moreyou know, thriving hot version of doctor
(07:14):
Ruth. And and I always saidthat was really cool because I wanted to
go to school as a communications majorand then I got pregnant and ended up
in sociology and social work. Itall worked out, right, it all
worked out here we are. Butum, I always said like, oh
that's nice, like people see somethingin me that I guess I saw it
(07:34):
myself. And so when we're like, oh, I'm going to get to
interview you, I was like,oh, like what would I do on
my set if this were my myshow? Show? So look, oh
wow that it is right, butthey'd be like very cooler cards. But
I would have the um the logoof my guests, you know, so
(07:58):
that you're getting your branding while you'reshow, and that you're also looking at
something that's comforting and confident, likethis is your ship, that's your shit,
right, you know what you're saying? So much pressure for me.
That's why I always go first.You taught me that I'll open the show.
But don't worry. I have allyour saved and end to end encrypted.
(08:20):
She's got my shirt on WhatsApp andpro time Telegram one of them.
You're on truth Social. No,okay, that's not encrypted at all.
Okay, all their informations in Chinaalong with yours on TikTok Okay, we
can all day. We're both avoidinggetting into this interview, so let's go
(08:41):
right into it. But I wantto preface that I know you don't know
any of the questions. Didn't Ispecifically told you aad of time, and
um, I really wanted to ask. I want to ask you things that
either I don't know the answer toI want to know more, or I
really feel like there's a benefit toyou sharing this, and the benefit may
(09:03):
not even be for you, itmay be for other people to hear your
answers. And that being said,if it doesn't feel comfortable or you feel
like you know, I need toput myself first, like pass, okay,
I'm with that. The one thingI also have to remembers, if
I storm out of this fucking interview, I'm just gonna see you at home.
Well, I'm going to see youeven in the car on the way.
(09:26):
You're gonna storm out and pull thecar up there, and don't break
nothing on your way out because it'scoming out of your all right now,
I don't think there's anything like that. So I have some some little random
games. Okay, this one's calledstop looking. Listen, grab your phone
and tell me what tabs are openon your Chrome and your Safari. Nothing
(09:50):
on my Chrome. You don't haveChrome on your phone? I do,
I just never use it? Allright? Well, this is crazy because
I have U so many So doyou want me to pick a certain number?
All of them? All right?FedEx only fans Houses by Frank Lloyd,
(10:11):
right south the bees Bees looking lookinginto some electric h fetish equipment.
Oh okay. The nominations for theTA Show, which people should be nominating
(10:35):
me and my scenes for? Howdo they do that? I think I
think it's actually over now. Okay, So when you get the nomination,
they should be voting for it.Okay. Um. A friend of mine
is an interior designer, Ashley Rose, so I'm looking at her Sacred Space
website. Shout out, okay,Ashley? What else I got Ashley Rose
(10:58):
for our South the Bey Home.There you go this award, Okay,
I think kinking costa Rica of course. An article in the Atlantic by um
tenejasse coats, of course, aboutthe case for reparations. We get them,
(11:22):
they avoid in that conversation the donationwebsite for the Justice Committee. Okay,
make sure that y'all do so.And also, you know, listen
to the song Homegoing. It isgiving Tuesday. Yes, yes, so
(11:43):
there's so much morning I could justkeep going. But wow, that is
pretty telling. Oh. The lastone is this whole article also in the
Atlantic, talking about all the foundingfathers of America who owned slaves. Okay,
all of them? All right,thank you for sharing that gotcha?
(12:05):
All right? Cool, Now thatwe know what takes up space on your
phone, therefore it takes up spacein your mind. I would like you
to talk to me and kind ofwalk me through your current artistic process,
Like what are you bringing to thescreen right now as a performer? What
are you bringing to the screen rightnow as a director? Like give me
(12:28):
the juice, Give me the juice. As a performer, I have just
been interested in being free, andby free, just being myself you know,
like not trying to push myself todo shit I'm not interested in,
but things that I am interested in, if it's an idea or a desire
(12:52):
to like fully experience it and exploreit. Also trying to find new positions
and new ways that feel good forme, and also different ways of pleasuring
my scene partners. But I feellike that changes all the time every anyway
(13:13):
because everybody's different. But um,honestly, my mind has been on directing
a lot. And that goes forwhether it's directing a self shot scene,
directing a scene that I'm in butI have a camera person, and then
directing a scene that I'm not inwhere I'm also doing camera. So it's
like three separate ones. Okay,directing that you're in and you're also doing
(13:37):
camera. Yeah, like a selfshot kind of like setting up tripods and
how to do different angles and makesure that it still looks dope. Because
like, so like sex tapes,Like I fans love my sex tapes,
but I'm like, oh, well, how can I expand on the idea
of a sex tape? Right?Because they know the camera's there, so
(13:58):
I can freak it in as manydifferent ways as I want so like one
I've been even more cognizant about doingis as you know, personally, I
love eating pussy, but in mostporn out there, there is not a
woman's POV of a man eating apussy. So I've been wanting to get
that involved more and find different waysto get the angle. Not just get
(14:22):
the angle, but let the whoeverthe scene partner is know, Like,
what are you interested in seeing whenyou're doing this POV? Not so much
what I'm telling you to do,Just let me know so I can't light
it. You know what I'm interestedin seeing when my POV for that the
back of my head, honestly,God, but you know, um,
(14:43):
but let me let me ask thisand also give you sort of like I
want to give people a plug topeople that are watching that are directors and
or performers know what you're talking about. But consumers fans, I want them
(15:03):
to like hear what you're talking aboutand go see like you know, it's
like always the whole like traffected,the whole experience. So tell me seeing
that you directed and you were init and you shot it like the whole,
give me one example of that thatthey can go and take a look
at One of my favorite ones thatI did with that was Ethical Slepts,
(15:26):
because it also encompassed what I wantas a director period, which is the
sabio sexual aspect of porn, whichis lost or non existent and most porn
like for me trying to find away to not only if I'm in it,
I'm in it, but also ifI'm not in it, to have
the performers have some sort of connection, an intellectual connection besides just the desire
(15:52):
of fucking on camera. It createsthe same kind of feeling that people get
when they watch I don't Know aromance to thriller, a comedy in the
in the mainstream world, where youyou care about what happens to those characters.
You want to see them together,you want them to fuck, you
want them to feel good, youknow what I'm saying. So it's like
in Ethical slutsum Rain, a writerwho is my co star was actually in
(16:18):
school at the time, in college. Let's be clear. Yeah, she's
in college at the time, andshe was going to be a philebotomist.
So I was just like, Iwant that to be the basis of our
scenes. So we're gonna have awhole conversation about school and sex work and
philosophy, and please throw in anyof your expertise or what you're learning about
(16:41):
in there. And but the wholepremise of it was that she was late
with doing her work right, sowhich led to me like having a spanker
with the book and all this othershit. But like shooting it, I
was like, how am I goingto be able to get a shot of
us talking? That's my interesting SoI kind of focused more on her so
(17:03):
that way I could be everywhere.But then the shots of us fucking and
the BDSM stuff, I was like, I wanna all the talking is in
black and white, and then onceshe gets spanked for the first time is
when the color comes in and thenthere's like all this bright light happening.
So I was like, I justwanted to do something that also looked cool,
(17:26):
you know what I'm saying, LikeI think that that's another thing,
like porn is shot really boring tome, Like there's no use of shadow,
there's no use of color and lightin a way that's interesting to me
as a filmmaker. So like samething, like when I'm not in the
scene, the scene that I shotwith you and Leah Michelle, but directly,
(17:47):
well, I'm just directing. Thescene that I shot with you and
Leah Michelle were was that goddess ritualAnd I had this idea because it is
old ass music video from Digibool Planets. It was the remix of m where
I'm from, and I loved thatvideo. It was shot in black and
white, but I didn't shoot y'allin black and white, but they had
(18:10):
it so like people were still almostlike in photographs, and I was like,
Damn, that would look cool ifI shot y'all still like a photograph
and then transpose like y'all movement fromthat thing, like it just looks sexy.
Y'all had this beautiful attire on andthe we had the Buddha face in
the back like so it seemed almostlike, what's that transcendental meditation but sexual,
(18:34):
you know, So that was likethe whole vibe of it. But
that's and I'm like, I've neverseen a porting shot that way, so
I was like, I want totry and shoot stuff that's just different,
but it's also sexy as hell atthe same time too, because y'all have
like this dom sub dynamic in it, and you're like squirting on and all
this other shit. But at thesame time, there's a part where y'all
(18:56):
are both like perfectly still, andthen it fades into you squirting on her.
Like that shit is dope. Itwas dope like that, I mean,
but like that kind of should getme hyped about. I can hear
it. The art that we make. Just because it's porn don't mean it
can't be beautiful. Tell me giveme one other example of you being in
(19:18):
the scene but directing your videographer oryour team. I'm actually I'm gonna use
this one because someone had just broughtit up to me and it does have
the same element of the sapio sexual. It was a Vegas voyeur where a
(19:41):
mirror styles and we sat and weplayed this whole game of chess that was
non scripted. We spoke about itbeforehand, like she said that she plays
chess. I was like, Okay, We're gonna sit and have a whole
game. Whoever wins wins. Ifyou beat me, you beat me,
it don't matter, you know whatI'm saying, and have a conversation and
(20:02):
there was nothing scripted about it.We had never had this conversation before,
but it's like we're learning about oneanother, because you learn about somebody from
playing chess, period, even ifyou don't talk. But then we're also
having this conversation learning about one another. So that does build a desire for
both of us too, because it'slike, you know, the sabio sexual
aspect of playing chess. But soI had to explain to the camera person
(20:26):
like, no, don't stop,just record the whole thing. We're not
gonna change to anywhere else. Sofeel comfortable because we're gonna be sitting down,
so feel comfortable to move around.I personally like this angle with this
angle, but if you see anotherangle that works, I'll trust your eye,
you know. So like being ableto have that conversation, Like I
love working with people behind the camerawho have like natural eye or ideas,
(20:52):
and we could bounce ideas off eachother that work within the framework or what
we were trying to do. AndI feel like that scene, before we
even took our clothes off, therewas so much tension within the scene because
also the premise of the scene iswe're doing this for this voyeur, right
and the camera, Yeah, us, there's all this tension, and then
(21:18):
we get to the collaring, andthen we get to the spanking, and
then we get to one thing afteranother, and then the crazy shit is
just the timing because we were wewere filming, and there's like a fountain
that explodes literally when we're coming atthe end. And it wasn't it wasn't
planned that way, but it waskind of like we know that we knew
it was there, but we weren'tlike timing our orgasms. That was God's
(21:40):
plan. Exactly, beautiful. Ilove it. Thank you for sharing that.
You get so excited. I lovethat as everybody checks out those those
all three of them, yes,yes, and the ones that came before
them and the ones after all.Right, so this is kind of a
little bit off the cuffway, UM, I'll just ask it, like,
(22:02):
what are men your age supposed tobe talking about right now? Like?
What is what? What do youwhat should y'all be talking about right now?
Because this is like a real Ifeel like I feel so I don't
know, which is why I'm goingto ask you. It's like women in
our thirties we have like a particularconversation. I'm not in my thirties anymore.
(22:25):
But I remember what that like conversationwas was very like very particular.
You kind of knew if you likewhen women tell me like, oh,
I'm about to be thirty, I'mlike, I know exactly what you what
you're thinking, you know what I'msaying, like to an extent, so
like men in their forties, specifically, I'm gonna get very narrow black men
in their forties that have highlighted artor that art has been a central figure
(22:53):
of their life, not necessarily theirbread and butter. But the reason why
I'm asking this is because what Isaid like about women, and kind of
I know that. But when wewere watching DJ Cassidy's Past the Mic,
and he did one with hip hopartists, and I was like smiling from
ear to ear because one I wasexcited to just hear the music again in
(23:17):
that sort of club mixed you know, matchup. But I was like so
happy to see that these men madeI was like, oh, you know,
gang wait, oh he looked good, like you know. Like,
and so men specifically in hip hopor really any form of art have reached
you know, thank god, manyof you have made it to the what
(23:40):
to us is like you know themiracle age of your forties, which is
you know, it's sad that it'syou know, but it is what it
is, and if you made it, it's a wonderful thing. Like what
should y'all be talking about right now? I mean, my my first answer
is everything, Like there's nothing thatwe shouldn't be talking about, but specifically,
(24:03):
I think as black men, weneed to talk about our health because
what is it. We still havea very low mortality rate and life expectancy,
and this is that age where youneed to start, you know,
going to doctors and getting checked outbecause most of us probably didn't have health
(24:26):
insurance for most of our lives.Front during art part, especially if you
were an artist. You know whatI'm saying. So you know your health
physically but also your mental health,you know, because you hit this age
and most of us ain't planning forI know, I ever plan to be
forty. I plan for you tobe forty. I mean, you do
it. I mean I mean,but like before I even met you.
(24:48):
I remember and my freshman year ofhigh school, they sat us all down.
They said, look to your left, look to your right, someone
in his is gonna be dead orsomebody you look at Gona is gonna be
dead and from being murdered and shit, like you know what I'm saying,
Like I remember public This is likethe random like a random drain where they
(25:10):
just brought like it was like alike a tribunal of black and brown kids
that they just brought into the library. Like I remember that ship. M
it's funny that I remember that andI remember from the same thing my homie
TJ told somebody to sit their bigass down in the middle of that ship.
(25:33):
Is funny, but no, andI think so most of us we
think like, yeah, I'm notgonna see past eighteen. I'm not gonna
see past twenty one, So wedon't sit here and playing like a five
or one K or savings or allthese other things. And then also are
you so you are such a wrapperthat you had to like take a four
(25:53):
oh one K and throw another hundredon the top of k. I had,
you know, like we wasn't gettingjacked by FIKA for a tour money,
you know what I'm saying. Soit's like all these things where the
(26:14):
future wasn't planning for and now thefuture is literally now and we're gonna and
we had and some of us,you know, we have kids or guy
kids, nieces and nephews that orjust other loved ones that we want to
leave what we've worked so hard fortoo or actually spend some time enjoying the
fact that we made it to thisage. So taking care of your physical
(26:37):
and mental health is important. Andthen specifically for artists, I just think
of like, if you're an artist, you grow, you know, like
not to say that if you hada hit, you're gonna rily on that
hit, that hits still making youmoney, that shit is still now,
but just as an artist like tobe able to find ways to continue to
(27:00):
either expand the medium that you're inor crossover into different mediums and just continue
to let your creative mind flourish.Because you know, when I when I
look at generations before, and Ilook at somebody like I don't know,
like Miles Davis or somebody who whosecareer spanned decades or or or um like
Louis Armstrong or Duke Gallen. Theyhad decades and decades. So now I
(27:25):
look at hip hop artists who havethe opportunity to do the same thing.
How have you grown as a manhow how have you grown as a human
being through your art? You knowwhat I'm saying. So I'm interested in
that conversation. Wow, yeah,ite them up and have that conversation.
I want to be there. Youhave it at the house. I'll bring
(27:45):
out a charcouterie board. Thank youfor sharing that. Speaking of your art?
What what's what's on the up andup with your music? Cards?
I got an EP and an thealbum that I hope will be released very
soon. I don't got to finda new studio to record out of.
(28:06):
Okay, all right, how areyou feeling? I'm feeling good. Yeah,
I feel great. I'm enjoying this. Yeah. What's the scariest,
riskiest, most nerve wrecking part ofyour job? Because oftentimes you get asked
about the industry right and um oryou're speaking on behalf of like performers as
(28:33):
a whole. But what's a riskto you? Just even between you and
I, like, what's risky foryou is not risky for me, and
vice versa. So how would youanswer that close minded people? I would
say, is it's dangerous when yousee, you know, somebody like the
(28:53):
dude that just shot up that clubin Colorado, who Harbor's hay or resentment
because of who you choose to love, how you choose to live your life,
the color of your skin, yourgender, your job puts all of
that on display exactly, And bothof them do because through music, I
(29:21):
spoke out a lot in regards topolice brutality and so on and such forth,
and a lot of people don't realize, Yo, police be calling you.
You was Hassan Minaj before Hassan Salam, and y'all having similar experience.
(29:42):
He's a little bit younger than you, I believe, but y'all are having
similar experiences. Yeah, my firstalbum got held up at the border because
it was pressed in Canada and oneof the song titles got it held up
at the border, and I hada lot of strange visitors and people trying
to I have conversations with me ormessages and emails and things like that.
(30:03):
So and actually YO shout out toAsaminaj that motherfucker realis fuck that is Yo,
much respect and nothing but blessings tohim and his family and word.
Um. So yeah, I thinkI think that's it because it's like I
truly believe that as long as yourway of life and who you are,
(30:27):
doesn't impede or hinder the progress andlife of other people. It's living.
Let be. But there are peopleout there who I don't know. Maybe
it's part partially because there's a partof them that wants to live in a
way that they're afraid to live,or they're just brought up with more hate
(30:48):
in their heart than understanding or love. That then they lash out, and
that part I think is the mostdangerous aspect. But I was raised by
women who are just like, we'regonna We're gonna get this progress. Like
the greatest My two quotes I livemy life by one is Frederick Douglas.
(31:10):
If there is no struggle, therecan be no progress, and then Jackie
Robinson, which is, um,I'm I'm paraphrasing I'm I'm I don't I'm
gonna fuck up the quote, butit's basically, a life is unimportant excepting
the effect that it has on otherlives. And if you can't stand up
for who you are and what youbelieve in and those things are good,
(31:32):
then what's the point. I don'tknow about that struggle one, but I
can get down with Jackie Robinson quote. Thank you for sharing that that is
really, Um, that is veryscary, and you get some of those
messages still not about yeah, nowabout both? Yeah about both? Man.
(31:56):
All right, let me take youinto the ticket into music and health
and your sex work. Deep dive. It is a deep dive. I
had my spreadsheets out last ye Ilearned a business terminology. I've been around
um, and I've been around youlong enough to ask this question. I'm
(32:20):
taking into the academic space, youknow, because I know, I mean
you you were you were doing education, um in a different way and decolonizing
um, you know art before youwere doing it as a sex educator.
I know that you taught for LondonSchool Economics you is that to get that
(32:45):
right? Yeah? Um? Itis fancy. How many of y'all taught
at London School of Economy? Okay, you taught up and down the um
the West coast. I mean youwere on tour where it's from spirituals to
hip hop yea, from the spiritualsto hip hop, and then I was
(33:07):
like, oh that sounds cute.And then I got on your cotails and
you took me on that with myown workshops. But all that to say,
you you've been doing this for along time, and so I did
want to talk a little bit aboutyour work in academia, but from a
particular, a particular way. Soum, I'll just read this is a
(33:30):
little bit easier. You talk aboutpeople needing to do American history education for
sex education, like to obtain sexeducation in this country, you know,
like contextually in the culture that welive in, sex and the culture that
we live in, you have tounderstand American history as part of it,
or like take chance or where haveyou versus reading like all the how to
(33:52):
books and the video sex tutorials andthere's there's like they're fun, they're freeing,
they are good to know, forsure, are good to know.
It kind of reminds me a littlebit about like when we opened up a
gym and it's like, yeah,you could, you could know all the
exercise and what to do physically,but until you actually learned the body and
(34:14):
how nutrients work and how you knowhow muscles, how muscles, bones,
et cetera move and don't move allthose exercises really don't. I mean,
they mean something, but then you'renot gonna get the outcome, the full
outcome that you want. So Iguess I want I want you to talk
about, Like, what do youmean by that in terms of incorporating history
(34:37):
into how that yields sexual liberation.It's a big question. Take whatever pieces
of it you want to. Well, the how too is only a part
of sex. Like nobody just showsup the fuck and be like penis and
vagina and or penis and anus,or penis and pa. You know what
(34:59):
I'm saying. No one's sitting therejust explaining that shit to somebody, you
know what I mean. Like,but people do share their fantasies, their
desires, people do share their historiesof trauma or abuse and their experiences.
Like so many people are focused rightnow on a body count, which is
(35:21):
the dumbest fucking shit, But they'remore count focused on the number instead of
the actual experience. Like if someonetells you, hey, I've been with
however many people satisfaction right now?Yeah? Out of all of those experiences
you had, how many were actuallygood? How many were bad? How
come? And I do think thatnow especially, we're seeing a lot more
(35:45):
people's interest and fetishes and kinks andand exploring sex. Well, some of
these fantasies and fetishes come from somereal fucked up places, So you should
know what you're walking into. Ifsomeone's like, hey, I'm a queen
of Spades, that mean oh,that means that you're not really interested in
(36:10):
me as a person. You're interestedin my skin color and fetishizing me and
using my sex for your twisted racial, racist fantasy. Or but you wouldn't
know that if you had no contextand the history of you know, it's
and and things are presented. Um. If you're around the santist, this
(36:35):
is a CRT alert um Um.You know you're presented with no context for
why things are in this country becausepeople are ashamed of the history or they
want to sugarcoat the history so theylook better or so that they can continue
to do the racist Yeah, youknow what I'm saying. So in in
(36:58):
in some of these circumstances, youdon't know you're getting used in a fucked
up way, and it's gonna comeback to hurt you or somebody else,
because being racially fetishized is not apositive experience, you know. So or
they think well you're cool with this, you can step it up to this
(37:21):
next shit, you know what I'msaying. And so like, just for
example, with that right. Youknow, so much is focused on,
and rightfully so, overseers, slaveowners, roving white men bands going and
raping black women and black men andchildren during slavery, but also mistresses and
(37:52):
white women raped slaves as well,and that fetishization is what led to Queen
of Spades. So it's like,you don't want to perpetuate that shit.
And and there are some people outthere who might think, you know,
black men are cool or black peopleare cool and want to be around us
(38:14):
and like us and don't want tobe racist. Yeah, so you should
know that shit too, white folk. It shouldn't just be the owners,
shouldn't just be on black folk toavoid your ass. You shouldn't do that
shit right, and without any propercontext or historical information, people just miss
out on that shit. I loveit when, um, you know,
(38:34):
when you are doing teaching a workshopor I don't even really like we do
like an impact claim, people arelike, I really love the way you
know. I love I love howsmart you are and how you are There
any books about BDSM that you thinkI should read to be a better dumb
And you're like the narrative of alike um, And so I and I
(38:58):
know why, I understand that,but I just thought that there would be
a good opportunity for you to makethat like clear connection. Yeah, for
sure. And even even outside ofjust American history, if you're gonna learn
about BDSM, you should also knowabout the Spanish Inquisition. We some of
some or even just even just umtorture devices throughout history. You know,
(39:22):
like everybody's like, oh, Ilove your scene with Misty Stone where you
fucker in the pillory? Okay,cool? Do you know where the pillary
is? Do you know where itcomes from? You know? And people
don't And people don't know like thatship was some ship that was used and
it would be put in the townsquare and that you might be the public
drunkard or something like that, andthey would have you in that ship and
(39:43):
people come point they thing at you, so like I'm sorry, go ahead,
So you might be the so likein those kind of situations, and
the pillory was used for torture methodor but it wasn't a torture method to
the extent like an iron lung orsomething like that. It was used more
(40:04):
for like public drunkard like and thenpeople come and point a finger at you
and say all this shit and itwould be like in the town square for
everybody to see. So like thereis a part of it for people who
might want to be in that there'sa certain sexual humiliation that comes from that.
Or also because for other people it'slike, Yo, this shiit features
(40:25):
my face perfectly right, and I'min a position that I like. But
you should know both if you're gonnaput somebody into that ship, because why
you'll be a better dom is ifyou understand their reasoning for being in that
how your role will be better fortheir experience. I learned something new.
(40:45):
Yes, very cool, thank you. What's your goal to prayer when your
stress? Like, I'm always like, Heavenly Father, oh, in my
head go to prayers? Yeah,so are you reciting in your head when
(41:07):
I'm when I'm stressed? Um,it's probably not that. Uh, it's
probably more like Lord, that's whatI was curious about. Yo, please
let me calm down, let menot while allow okay, let me have
(41:29):
a constructive interaction with this person eventhough they need a mud puddle stumped in
the side of them. You getthe reasoning with God absolutely, okay?
Cool? And it usually is yeah, like have take take control, take
the wheel. All of a sudden, It's like God can be a man
(41:52):
just in that, just in thismoment. Cool, all right. So
which brings me into talking a littlebit about your faith. H all right,
So, um, whatever you're youknow, open to sharing. I'm
really curious to know how being aMuslim man has impacted your life. And
(42:13):
then like all these questions to kindof start bigg and then I want you
to narrow into a perspective of umspecifically here how that has had an impact
on your life, and narrow itdown to your sexual expression. And then
I'd like for you to tell meabout a positive fan interaction as it relates
(42:34):
to your faith. Okay, that'sthat's a heavy one. UM. For
me, when I was younger,when I first taken my shot, how
to it provided a lot of structurethat I didn't have. How old were
you? I took my shot whenI was thirteen? Is that? Is
that the time that most young menboys do? I think most more people
(43:00):
more around the age of like seventeenand eighteen, so like that, I
would say more people. I know, for me, it was definitely like
it helped me with everything, likethe structure helped me with my training with
(43:21):
all the other things I was doing, and as I got older, it
also provided me with more interest ingaining as much knowledge about as many things
as humanly possible. Unfortunately, welive in a world where people only see
certain reflections of Islam that are verylimiting to people in regards to information.
(43:51):
But that's I mean. Christianity hasdone the same thing at different times.
You know, there was the RomanCatholic Church that called the printing press the
devil, you know what I'm saying. So I think, you know,
every every faith has people who arebad actors in it. But for me,
(44:13):
it was more in the sense of, like, you know, learning
about stories about people like let's say, like Manza Muza and the Islamic empires
of Western Africa made me like wow, Like our ancestors mapped the stars and
created algebra, and there's science inthe Qoran if you read it. You
(44:36):
know, all all these kind ofthings made me just want to learn more
and experience more. And then learningand building with people like that are in
Sufism or five percent or more sciencetemple and all these other things just helped
me learn more and more about historythat I wasn't learning in school. And
(45:01):
also from there you get to likeI don't know, with with like Sufism
and things like that, you doget to learn, like about romance,
something that you don't people don't everthink about when they think about Islam,
you know what I'm saying. SoI think that it opened up my mind
to that and for that positive experiencewith fans, I do. I do
(45:22):
often have people who hit me upand just from other countries who are like,
I can't express myself sexually where Ilive, and I appreciate being able
to watch you explore and express andmy fantasies go with you or even people
(45:45):
here who are just like you know, especially especially I get some messages from
Muslim women who are just like yeah, like we need that shit and people
need to be more open, andI don't know, it's it's uh.
(46:06):
I meet more people in the industrywho are actually Muslim too, but they're
not. They they have they don'tspeak about it. So I wouldn't say
nothing about that, because I mean, everybody's faith to me is also that's
a personal thing and if you arecomfortable with sharing it with other people,
that's when all of a sudden.People usually want to attack, but there
are definitely other people who are likeyeah, and and they're they're appreciative of
(46:30):
it. Nice, thank you soum. Usually when we sit down and
people ask us about our family orwhen we've had um the kids over the
last couple of years, people have, you know, they'll say I don't
know that, ask about being parentand the sort of like uh zoning on
(46:52):
me, which is, you know, it's fine, it's natural, like
I had them, um, youknow, oh you miss retiring kids,
breastfeeding, all the other ton ofstuff. But we really get to hear
like men's birth story, right,um, or just like something that was
important to them, or the feeling, the emotions or even you know,
(47:17):
something crazy that happened that maybe themom doesn't even know because you run a
point in them type of situations,and like how important you know everybody's role
is in helping to bring a childto life. And when I look up
birth stories, it's all women tellingtheir birth story and they should and it's
(47:43):
yes, they should, but Iknow how important it is for me,
not not necessarily on a podcast oranything, but just for people after we've
had the kids, to ask themlike what was that experience like for you
or to be able to share thatbecause it is so big, such a
life changing moment for you as aparent, but the minute that it happens,
(48:07):
everything gets shifted to that child,and so you have like this amazing
experience that you're just left to youknow, process or to have on your
own. So I wanted to askyou to tell me something, anything or
everything from your birthing story with yourchildren, either one of them. Nothing
(48:31):
in particular. It's not on you, no pressure. The thing about the
birth of our youngest two that Ialways think about is the sharp contrast between
having a birth at the hospital andhaving a birth in the birthing center because
(48:53):
for me in all aspects, andI understand what you're saying with like,
you know, like we should alltalk about it and stuff, But for
me, I'm fine with it becausemy focus during both of those times is
making sure you're as comfortable and andI'm as attentive to everything that you need
(49:14):
as possible. And then once thatbaby is born that they ain't trying to
run off with the shit or youknow what I'm saying, like take take
the take the placenta, and sellthat shit on the black market or some
shit, you know what I mean, like those those kind of things,
and doing it in a hospital it'scold, and I don't just mean the
(49:37):
temperature, like how they treat you, and I'm watching how they treat you
specifically, and then being able tohave this conversation with other women about how
they felt treated in hospitals to whereasit's specifically when I have spoken to black
and brown women about it, theyhave not had good experiences in hospitals and
(50:00):
it's been like not being listened toin regards to knowing your own body,
and we experienced that in the hospitalor kind of feeling like these people are
just leaning on you. So likewith the birth of our son, it
(50:22):
was so fucking stressful dealing with thehospital. But at the same time,
you know, no matter what,if you're born black in America, you're
you're a miracle birth to me,and being a part of that miracle,
(50:45):
you do have to like say thatprayer in your head so you don't while
out and get arrested at the fuckinghospital for them being rude to your partner
while she's trying to give birth ortrying to force drugs on or not listening
that you need something or like youknow what I'm saying, like that shit
is wow frustrating, But you haveto be in a space that you already
(51:06):
know like yo, if you ifyou turn up in here, they're gonna
say what they're gonna say, andyo, AS's not gonna be able to
be there for the birth of yourbaby. But listen, how listen how
interest like how how nuanced that isbecause usually when when men are asked this
question, it's sort of like,especially black man, it's like I was
praying for a safe delivery, youknow, or you know, like praying
(51:27):
that everything goes right, praying thatshe gonna make it. But as you're
talking here comes at like stream oflike that that constant um baseline of racism
having you know, where it's likeyou're also at the same time like hoping
that things don't go the same wayit was yeah, you know, like
(51:51):
yeah, like as if you're inthe airport and like, I gotta watch
what I'm doing because you know that'scrazy. But the birth of our newest
edition being that we did a birthingcenter and literally we started labor in our
house and then you walked through thedoor to water broke. We was there
(52:15):
with all all our kids, andI mean it happened during COVID, so
it's also like all that that stressoryou know what I'm saying. But we
had our immediate loved ones there,you know, like that that experience was
was was way better, you know. And and like one of my one
(52:36):
of my homies shout out to Nelsonand Andrea we was, I said to
him because he was like, hey, you did the birthlingy center. What
do you think? And and thisis one of the conversations that brothers got
to have and then they had tohave at this age. And it was
just like, Yobe, if youcan't do that shit at home or a
birthing center, do not go tothe hospital if you can. You know,
(52:57):
there are certain circumstances where you haveto and hopefully you have the best
experience you can. But that's whatI think about it when and and honestly,
there is no joy like it andit's and it's worth not turning up
on the people. So you couldbe I mean, I just sound so
(53:17):
interesting like that that stress is eventhere even there then you know, well,
I'm glad you were perfect. Youwere a perfect partner to have birth
to give birth with, and I'mhappy to be a part of your birthday
story. All right, last questionmade it all right? So I we
(53:38):
did make it absolutely despise when peopleare interviewing us and they go from like
like the sexiest, dirtiest thing intoour family, which like, So when
I was putting the questions together,I was like, well, I don't
know what his birthday answer is gonnabe, and I want to end on
a high note, but I damsure don't want to go back to the
(54:00):
beginning. So this is hard,this journalism, Sure, it's hard.
So um, last night this morning, when I was awake all night long,
thisism like kept me up all night. But I was just going down
the rabbit hole and there was aGQ couple's quiz featuring Lauren Nicole London and
I know her middle name because thiswas one of the quiz questions. And
(54:22):
oh no, I'm not, I'mnot, I'm not in the late Nipsey
Hustle and yeah, it was likeabout five years into their relationship. Um,
and it was it was really itwas really cute, and um,
I got a little emotional. Idon't you know, I wouldn't say that
(54:43):
I'm a big fan of either oneof them, Like I you know,
I appreciate his art. Um Iknow her from a couple of movies.
But their love story is, youknow, especially in his passing um as
someone who is like deeply in lovewith their partner and creates work with their
partner. It is like that reallyresonated with me, and I got emotional
watch it because I'm like, ohmy god, she has to look back
(55:04):
at all these interviews. And butthen I was like, well, I
wonder if she finds like comfort inlooking at like the little idiosyncrasies between each
other. So he had reference thatshe was asking certain questions that were like
sort of like yielding him to giveher praise, and I was just like,
(55:24):
oh, yeah, this is good. And he referenced like this is
turning into a Lauren praise session.And I was like, oh shit,
Like I think some of my questionsare like that, because like you get
a chance to ask your partner anythingin front of the world. It's like,
well, I want him to saythis because I want these chines to
know like this, this is thereal deal, like tell him. But
(55:49):
um, so I was like Okay, fuck it. Let me take my
take my moment and turn this intoa Jasmine praise session. From the perspective,
I would love for you to answerthis question in front of me in
the world, how do you loveme? I can't think of a way
that I don't perfect, No,like I I find even we've been together
(56:21):
over a decade, you know whatI'm saying, and I still find new
things where I'd be like, oh, you went to that. That's like
even if I'm not, it's justlike I've learned some new shit about you
today or something you might have doneten years ago that you flipped now it's
like, oh, she's she's grown, or she's adapted, or she don't
flipped up on some shit. Ilike. I like that, you know
(56:45):
what I'm saying. Like I neverhad a relationship long enough that I truly
had to grow as an individual andin a couple with somebody, so like
I witnessed your growth ever every dayand every day I am impressed and in
awe of you as a human being, as a lover, as a mother,
(57:07):
as a business person. Like I'mjust saying, like, you know,
I wish back in the day whenI was doing more music shit,
Like if I had you on theteam, like you'd have been out here
cookie lions in that ship, youknow what I'm saying, Like, but
it's it's being able to see someyour partner, Like I definitely am truly
(57:30):
a believer that, like, ifyou're lucky enough, you find a partner
who is better than you in areasthat either were underdeveloped or not your bag
or just some shit you ain't know, and like all of those levels in
places where you are either like justnaturally better or have learned a skill that
(57:55):
I have it, not only areyou just better at it, but you're
also willing to share that information tohelp me get better at it, which
you know, that's a partnership that'snot even just a relationship, that's a
partnership. Like I want us bothto be sharp, still sharp and still
so like in that aspect and justfor like loving you, I truly realize,
(58:20):
like love is one of those conceptslike God, that you don't always
completely fathom its depth or it's extent, but when you're there and you're like,
oh shit, like I don't takinga whole other leap and bound with
my understanding of what love or whatGod is. And I'm even more in
(58:44):
awe today than I was yesterday.And that's how it is loving you that
I heard that ship that's actually forour kids. Though honest, this ain't
even gonna make the podcast. Itmay not, it may not like that
that that's what they're a part of. That's what they get to be a
part of. And I do feelthat. I feel that you love me
(59:05):
like and I feel the growth inour love. And I learned a lot
of new things about you, andI hope to people listening as well and
appreciate you that much more like thankyou. I appreciate the in depth questions
everybody. Definitely, if you areat home or whatever, go watch those
(59:28):
three scenes that we were talking about, all the other scenes, go stream
the music, catch up on allthe episodes that you missed. And coming
up soon is my questions for jetsetting Jasmine, which out of time?
Well, I mean that's for thenext episode. But I feel kind of
crazy because I'm like, yo,my question is like if a train is
leaving Atlanta at nine am in themorning, and the other my questions are
(59:50):
not this good. So here I'mjust gonna cross out my name and put
your name on it, but YO, thank y'all so much for tuning in.
I hope y'all got to know somemore and we're gonna catchy all on
the next one. Please right upat him.
Popular Podcasts
CrimeLess: Hillbilly Heist
It’s 1996 in rural North Carolina, and an oddball crew makes history when they pull off America’s third largest cash heist. But it’s all downhill from there. Join host Johnny Knoxville as he unspools a wild and woolly tale about a group of regular ‘ol folks who risked it all for a chance at a better life. CrimeLess: Hillbilly Heist answers the question: what would you do with 17.3 million dollars? The answer includes diamond rings, mansions, velvet Elvis paintings, plus a run for the border, murder-for-hire-plots, and FBI busts.
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.