Episode Transcript
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(00:06):
Right at Chicago. No, Iwas just if you just go off of
that. But oh you in techand and losing content or something like that.
It's a bad memory. Hell yeah, Oh my gosh, you're like
(00:27):
the personification of mercury retrograde, atleast what I think it is. And
the challenges with tech. I thinkof myself like the beginning of two thousand
and one Space Odyssey. Just smashinga computer against the fucking walls. You
(00:48):
get so fresh. I wish Icould go back to nonlinear editing. That
we don't have time. I don'thave time with that. No, I
mean I enjoy digital editing and stufflike that. But is there is like
this one factor where it's like timingis great, it moves along how it
needs to, like it's consolidated.But just some days, randomly, the
(01:12):
whole fucking shit goes hey whi anddeletes itself and you can't do nothing about
it. I hate that shit.And then if you take like tendy breaths,
walk away from it, get somethingto eat, and come back to
it, it's usually back. It'susually there. It's true. But you
do good work, okay, welcome. Oh but but but but there's something
(01:40):
really exciting that's coming up. Specificallythat as it relates to walking away from
Ted Oh yes, I'll sit up, sit up for that. We are
going on Costa Rica, yes,and we were doing all these kinky things,
kinky things in Costa Rica with boyfetish films. Look at you,
(02:00):
Look at you. How calm youare already. That's because we're leaving the
trappings of modern society, not allof it, because there is an infinity
pool and I mean and the othershit that that will be. But I
mean, for the most part,that's one of the things that is the
(02:21):
sexiest part of it to me isthat leaving, yeah, and going to
be able to just focus, likeI feel like I'm gonna come back levitating
and flogging at the same time orsome shit like I'm gonna be able to
completely focus all of my all ofmy mind into that. You know what
(02:42):
I'm saying. I'm gonna I'm gonnaactually be mad, responsible ahead of time,
and edit like a month's worth ofcontent so that way I won't feel
stressed while I'm there either. Iam doing all the tech shit now,
like going through those applications like acrazy person collecting that money on every app
platform possible, well like all ofthat stuff. So that way, Yes,
when we get there, all thelogistics are set. So we also
(03:06):
have private chef that's gonna be there. That part is, that's part.
That's my my like number two.Yeah, aspect catering to our dietary not
needs. But once I'm gonna havecake, I'm gonna just healthy protein.
(03:27):
Yeah, I'm gonna have a healthycake, protein cake, protein cake slices.
I heard the fruit is so delectable, vegetables and all that I'm really
looking forward to. So yeah,so this is for those of you who
don't know, which is really strangebecause we've been talking about it for like
two months, husband two months,like a month now, okay, can
get Costa Rica. February twenty twentythree. We are have rented out a
(03:54):
villa, huge villa in the Idon't tell them where exact they're gonna try
to show up. That is goingto be checking through the jungle. Okay,
yeah, don't do that. Um. And we are bringing twelve to
fifteen vetted guests. Yes, sofar off the top of my head,
(04:15):
Like at last I checked somewhere likeat nine or at ten guests so it's
yes. And the cool thing islike making sure that there is a mix
of like people who are like newto this and willing to like be vulnerable
and open to exploring, and peoplewho have been doing this for a while
and want to be in that newenergy and also like be in a space
(04:39):
that is judgment free yet safe.We have an awesome guardian that's going to
be there so that you and Ican just like not have to remember every
and anything, have somebody watching ourback and watching our guests, even though
we're gonna do that anyway, eventhough you're gonna do that anyway, for
you know, for me, I'mjust like watch me, okay. But
(05:01):
um, I think you know,we have activities lined up, and some
of those activities obviously are going tobe you know, people need to be
physically ready for. But I thinkthe other aspect that I'm I'm interested in
is the mental and spiritual aspects thatpeople are going to be able to get
in tune with, where it's like, you know, leaving those trappings behind,
(05:26):
but then also walking into a spacewhere it's like I am here to
experience some kinky shit but also beable to sit in it. You know
a lot of times we go outand we experience something kinky and in it's
like okay, you know it's youknow, events over, munch is over,
(05:47):
go home. But here we're goingto be able to experience it and
sit in it and have a conversationabout it and you know, really revel
and all around in that ship andlove it and in a space where you
know you are going to be ableto have us there as your master fetish
(06:08):
trainers to work you through it,whether it be in the physical aspect or
that mental and spiritual aspect that we'retalking about. That and I am also
super proud that UM we are doingthis as guests of Costa Rica, not
going to take over. Yeah,we're not going to go colonize Coasting.
No, we are going to becolonizing. Yeah right, We're gonna be
(06:30):
able to pay respect to the landthat will be on UM and work within
the boundaries of the UM. Yeah. That we're being brought in. So
if you want to be one ofthe last few to join, and make
sure you check out the website Kinkin Costa Rica. Yes, so we're
chilling. We're all chilling. Youwant to answer some questions we got some
(06:54):
little bigs. I know good.I feel like we're in a space that
has like a babbling broken nearby whenwe walked in. I don't because we
were babbling, but it does havesome water. Yeah, as I peeped
that right when we walked I feellike there's a bun saree or somewhere.
(07:16):
Um, yeah, probably Let's getinto these questions. What do I Okay,
so these questions are from all overthe internet that were sent into us,
and so we're just gonna be like, We're just gonna go where the
people are taking us a king.Okay, I have a question, like
(07:43):
when people send any questions that Ihave a question. I am a newbie
in the kink love style. Ilike that love style, and I've noticed
many, if not all, peoplein this style battle with sexual trauma?
Is this the origin of b DSM? Seems like those who do not have
trauma are not so much into this. So is it safe to assume that
(08:05):
we will be dealing with sexual traumahealing all the time. This is just
what my limited experience has shown me. Mmmm. That's a good one.
What are you thinking? Hmm?This like makes me really I have like
I feel sad for this question.This question makes me feel sad and also
(08:28):
makes me feel proud at the sametime. Follow the hang out with me
here, Because no, this umsexual trauma is not the origin of BDSM.
It is not the space. BDSMis not the space for sexual trauma.
But you often see people. Youdo often see people in a lifestyle
(08:52):
being open about their experiences with sexualtrauma and or being attracted to BDSM because
of their sexual trauma. Because bDSM and the kink lifestyle or love style
as this person said, which Ireally like creates a SA should create a
(09:13):
safe space, a consensual space,a space that allows you to talk about
your boundaries, a space that allowsyou to talk about the things that trigger
you, the things that allow youto experience pleasure without being triggered. So
many people do find that just theentry point of b DSM allows for that
(09:33):
conversation. It invites, it welcomes, it encourages, almost requires to have
that kind of conversation for it tobe b DSM. The part that makes
me so that that actually makes mefeel really proud that we are a part
of a larger communities or a lifestyleand encourage a lifestyle that allows people to
(09:56):
address their trauma instead of stuff ithigh it um or just like tolerate you
know things the the negative things thatcome with having sexual trauma, and it
actually allows you to address it andreally respect, you know, the unfortunate
parts of it, and or growand heal while still experiences and really like
(10:20):
hot uh intimacy and engagement with someoneelse. But the part that makes me
really sad is that it has thatstereotype, right that a place that you're
vulnerable now and and you're talking aboutthe thing that like one in one in
four, one in five people experiencein any professional Yeah, that somehow it
(10:46):
you know, it's like, becausethis is the place where we actually deal
with it, it starts, itstarts to get like um associated with sexual
trauma when the reality is it's justas prevalent in the spaces where it's not
discussed. It's actually how do yousay, like perpetuated even more. Yeah.
(11:09):
It's kind of like how people havethat particular perception about women who are
strippers, what they're like, Oh, they all have a particular story and
it's kind of like the same thingI think that people have now done with
BDSM. I mean, they dothe same ship with porn, like everybody
who's in porn has some kind ofbad experience or whatever. But unfortunately,
in the world that we live in, just as you said, was it
(11:31):
one in four one in five peoplehave had some kind of sexual trauma.
So you can go to any professionand be like, doctors have had so
much sexual trauma. Lawyers, dada, da da dad. So I
think the point that you made abouthow in BDSM we do have to address
it because when we're talking about whatare some of your triggers, what are
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your hard and soft limits? Whydo you want to try this as a
dam Like the questions that I askare submissive to make sure that we're going
to have the best possible session,you know, sometimes does delve into some
really deep shit. And people dohave these epiphanies through BDSM, through that
(12:16):
kind of healing or that kind ofexperience that they do want to share like,
hey, I was able to reclaimmy sexuality or I was able to
get past something because of this experience. So they want to share it in
a in a positive way or ina way to protect themselves so it doesn't
happen again. I know, certainly, like for me as someone who has
(12:37):
experienced sexual trauma, like when we'retalking about porn, like, I love
porn. I love that it isa controlled environment where I'm going to be
able to explore and experience sexual allkinds of sexual activity. And I'm going
to be safe in that space thatI and even more so while of BDSM
(13:01):
because I know exactly what's expected ofme and what's expected the person that I'm
engaging with. That it allows thoseexperiences from the past to be there in
the past, they don't interfere withmy present because I've had an opportunity to
address those things. So yeah,BDSM is definitely a space that you can
(13:22):
find either healing and or be ableto explore those boundaries. I have seen
a lot of people learn their language, you know, how to how to
communicate their boundaries, what to expect, those type of things, and then
take it out into the larger space. And I think that that's great too,
(13:43):
you know. Anyways, people haveso much to learn from us from
our lifestyle. All right, Sohere's another question. Saying no to things
you aren't into but your partner iswhile still keeping the path to try new
things, to open saying no tothings you aren't into, but your partner
(14:05):
is compromise. Yeah, yeah,find those compromises. It's perfectly okay to
not be into the same thing thatyour partner is into, and but there
are also ways that you can eithersupport them in it or be a part
of it without actually doing this shit. Like I guess it really depends on
(14:28):
your level of not fucking with it. So like, if it's like that
ship is something I don't want tohave nothing to fucking do with, does
it change you wanting to be withthat partner? If it doesn't change you
wanting to be with that partner,then maybe you're just like, Okay,
well, this is an aspect ofour relationship that you have on the side,
(14:50):
or however you want to phrase it. Keep me informed, let me
know that however you're engaging in itis safe for both you and me and
whoever else is engaged in it.And either y'all talk about it or you
don't, right, right, Butthen there's some another way. Maybe it's
like I don't want to be involvedin it, but I would watch you
(15:11):
do it, Yeah, which Ifind is where our when you'll say no
to certain things, you'll be like, well I want to see it,
yeah, or I want it wouldyou do it in this way so then
I could feel like I participated ina certain kind of way. Or you
know, I'm not gonna do thatshit, but I will hook you up
with motherfuckers who do that shit.Yeah, Like you should check that out.
(15:35):
I think that that's when when it'sbeen me sometimes when I'm like,
no, that ain't really my thing. I know somebody Yeah, yeah.
I think Also, you know,there's been some times within our our sexual
exploration that I wasn't really sure,like I don't know how I'm going to
feel, but like do it andlet's find out, and you know we
can. We can because we're goingin knowing and being honest with I don't
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know how I'm going to feel.It's very different than I don't want you
to do that it's going to havea bad impact, and then you do
it anyways, right, But Ithink when you are honest with saying to
someone I not like society says Ishould feel this way, but like,
I don't know how I'm going tofeel. I'm willing to find out,
(16:21):
you know, and then from therewe can figure out, you know,
and I think like sometimes we maybe saying no to something because we just
are unsure, and if we're honestwith that you, I do think that
we can often find a compromise.You know a lot of things. I'm
just like, you drive first.Let's see if you get out of it,
okay, then I'll come or yououtsource it. Yeah, you're very
(16:45):
adventurous, adventurous perfectly, all right. Let's see, how soon should you
reveal a new potential pay to anew potential partner that you're into King,
I think this is really important forme. It's kind of hard for me
to not reveal it. Yeah,but I do think there's if it's a
(17:10):
kink that you can't live without,like it's your ship, then once you're
comfortable moving into a space with thatperson that you would consider to be intimate,
because I don't think if it's thefirst time you're sitting down with somebody,
as you gotta be like, youknow what I'm saying, I really
want you to tie me up andcut me out of some rope, know
(17:33):
what I'm saying, So that thatmight not be the first thing, because
you want to already be able togauge if this is a safe person without
something that might make them want tochange who they are to get into that
situation with you, you know,because like if it's a manipulative person,
they might be like, oh,I've always wanted to tie someone up,
you know what I'm saying, Andnot even that they're going to do something
(17:56):
bad when you're in it. Theyjust might be like, I really want
to have this experience, so I'mgoing to try to present myself in a
different way. So I think inthat way, you have to be kind
of safe with it. But Iwouldn't say you wait so long that you're
now like stuck with this person thatisn't going to do the shit that you're
into. Yeah, you know,compatibility is really important. I think also
(18:19):
prioritizing what it is that you aretrying to get in this relationship, like
where in the dating are you?Are you dating for sex? Then you
may want to lead with something likethat a little earlier, you know,
if you're dating sort of for thelong haul, which a lot of people
are there. I agree with you, like there are things that you're probably
(18:42):
going to like add on to yourrelationship as you go, So really making
sure that this is just a personthat you're compatible with in general terms,
First, where are you dating at? Some of that information is already available.
There's a lot of apps that youlike I met on the kink app.
(19:03):
Then yeah, But I also thinkit's like when it comes to that,
it also depends on the person's personalitybecause some people are very unapologetically like,
this is all who who I am. Right, if you can't accept
all of who I am, thenyou accept none of you know, So
it also depends on your I guesson your personality, Like if you're also
(19:27):
a very shy person and revealing thatpart of yourself is very hard for you
to do, then definitely wait untilyou're comfortable with that person, and you
might not want to, you know, go down certain roads with that person
until you feel that you are comfortableenough to get into those kind of conversations
with them, and whether it's fastor slow, I think it is important
(19:48):
not to deny yourself, you know, opportunity to be with somebody that is
either open to the kinks that youare or are is open to making sure
that you can have your king met. Because I think that's like kind of
the question before it is like justbecause the person may not be into what
you're into. Um, it doesn'tnecessarily mean that it's not something that you
(20:10):
can still explore with someone else orin a different way. So instead of
maybe looking for somebody who is intothe same kinks to someone who is open
to yeah, yeah, but don'tdeny yourself, So don't hold it in
too long, all right, mM. How do you know if you're
being non consensually fetishized or objectified ifsomeone can only refer to your beauty or
(20:41):
why they like you by that oneparticular thing, Like if they're like,
you're so black and fearful, butyou know what I'm saying, or like,
and they're like I just love yourblackness, skin and all that kind
of shit, then you're like,oh, you're just fetishizing m um yeah,
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or they just cannot Um. Wellhere's the other thing too. I
think the big part of this islike non consensually, right, because I
think definitely, of course, thefetishization of a person is what you said
there, But like the non consensualpart um I think is really like some
(21:26):
people don't mind being objectified or Ithink of being objectified and being fetishized for
something completely wrong, right, sohow do so my question is like,
how does someone say like this,this is a thing that I'm really into,
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you know, without it being awkwardor disrespectful, because I think that
is the piece that tends to bemissing, is that people feel like they're
going to be like looked at asa creep or I think like, let's
let's say, for example, likeif you are a person who enjoys one
person like it's really into one particularbody part. So let's say you,
(22:11):
for example, with noses. Right, if you can say to somebody like
I do I do like your face, I do like your nose, and
I do like the rest of yourhumanity and shit, but I really like
your nose. It's different than beinglike, I'm into your nose, fuck
(22:32):
the rest of you, you know, So there is like a whole.
It also depends the setting you're in, because if we're just meeting for like
a session, that's you're objectifying me. Like I saw somebody recently says,
I'm like you being attracted to meand you being sexually interested in me is
(22:55):
like sexually attracted to me as opposedto interested in me. It's two different
things. I phrase that role thefirst time, but like and then if
you're open and honest with that,that's one thing. Also being able to
admit that you are into this bodypart on many people because sometimes we were
(23:15):
like, oh girl, I loveyour ass, and then you see that
that person only dates women with acertain kind of body type. You as
one of those people might be like, damn, do you really even like
me? Or is it just thatI fit this particular body type. So
being able to say that I amattracted to this body type, but I
(23:36):
am also attracted to you or Isought out you because of this and being
honest with the ship does allow somebodyto then make their own mind up like
yeah, I'm gonna fuck with youstill or I'm not gonna fuck with you
at all. That is so beautifullystated that and how to be honest,
like to add that add that pieceto it. I mean saying like I
(23:59):
was drawn in by this because thatis something that I really really like and
you're super cool as yeah, Istayed. I think that that's really romantic.
So I mean, I think peoplehearing us talk about that it will
help because I don't think that folksalways know that it's okay to say those
(24:21):
type of things. It is.If it's the truth, that's okay to
say it. How people are gonnadeal or handle the truth, that's that's
on them. But at least,at least if you lay out the truth
as the foundation, and everything elsecan be built on that. Okay,
here's one, and then we'll goover to see what's in your phone?
(24:45):
How do you know? Yeah?My questions that I are always just like
so layered and shit like because peopleknow you deep. No, no,
I'm not people know you deep.I help people go deep. Um,
but um, you know, I'mactually pretty the surface one out of the
two. How do you know whatyour boundaries are? If you're just being
(25:10):
introduced to everything? It's a goodone. Well, I think everyone has
a foundation, like you do knowsome things, even if you're new to
everything, you do know some thingsthat you're just like, nah, yeah,
I'm not even trying to try that, right, So don't say your
boundaries that you know you know?And then the good thing is though your
(25:36):
boundaries can always change. You canalways change. And I think that that's
kind of like one thing that peopleare afraid, Like yesterday I was into
it, or today I said Iwanted to try this, but I tried
it, and that should's fucking terrible. I wanted to be my boundary.
It's perfectly okay. Even if youit's like you invited thirty people over for
(25:59):
the gang bang. You started thegang bang, you don't like the gang
bang. You could say no tothe gang bang. You can tell a
couple of them to stay. Youcan tell the rest of them to leave,
You can tell all of them toleave. You are the one who
determines what your boundaries are and whereare you welcome people are not. I
have this couple and they're listening andthey're gonna know where they are. Hey,
(26:22):
y'all. They were just when theyfirst came into coaching, they were
just like, we just want tobe like free. We just want to
like do everything everything that he likes. I want to like everything that she
wants. They were just like tryingto be out there and they would have
like these like amazing like the waythat you would envision like this thirty people
(26:45):
gang bang, which I don't evenknow how they know thirty people that they
want to bang. I don't evenknow what's thirty people in gangs. And
I'm older now and we're fined,so I shouldn't know feeling it anyways,
they would have like these experiences andthen it would lead to them like being
really sad and feeling whether disrespected ordisappointed in themselves that they couldn't uphold this
(27:11):
like you know, everything goes typeof experience. And so we talked about
like having a container to have theseexperiences, but like you got to have
some some boundaries, you know,there has to be something that gives you
both of you has partnered some typeof like Okay, things are going great,
(27:34):
they're going far, but I knowthat they're going to stop here,
you know, and and then liketake those and bring them back and discuss
them and then see if you wantto push them out a little further,
you know. So and things aregoing much better for them because you don't
have to have like this free andwild thing to be cool. Like boundaries
are cool, you know, andthey really even help other people know how
(27:59):
to engage with you. You alsodon't need to be into all of the
same ship partner, no, andyour openness is where your freedom is.
There you go, there you go. Yeah. So one of the ways
that I used to explore as you'regoing in for questions I used to explore
my own boundaries is using time.Um, one of the first times that
(28:22):
we did something kinky or that waslike all my super high kinky meter.
I was like thirty minutes, wegot thirty minutes. I'm giving myself thirty
minutes to be in this space.And I kind of use that for everything.
When I went on some of thosecruises, I'm like, Okay,
I'm gonna going to the little sexsex meet room for fifteen minutes and if
(28:44):
it's hitting off, stay and ifit's not, like that's my boundary.
So what you got see your shipmakes you laugh? I feel about I
was your cock, It's great.My lady cock's good too. How was
it? Though? I think itstill is? It still exists because it's
(29:07):
a wild ass while as questions inhere, all right, let me find
a good one though, like myquestion said, it's so surface. I
love them. How did you meet? Let me get people like, let
me asking some wild shit or it'sjust like very like so straight to the
(29:30):
point, like we fucking maybe allright, so this one I actually get
a whole lot. Okay for someonewho has never squirted before. What are
some things I can try to doso. Okay. So this question has
(29:51):
been being asked of us for avery very long time. UM. So
one I always say that some peoplesquirre others do not always think about where
that pressure maybe coming from. Foryou, if you're a person that does
not experience your body in the samein that way, um and that's okay.
(30:12):
Um. I think that there isa high there's a huge theme in
UM content right now that is supersquirt heavy. That is making UM a
lot of volva owners feel like thatis sort of a requirement for sexual expression
(30:33):
to be like, I don't know, to be good enough or to be
exciting enough. Um. So,first off, like if you don't,
you don't, and that's okay.There's many other ways to experience sex.
That being said, UM, whatI have learned is that there are some
exercises that women can do to havemore control of therapelvic reagion, to be
(31:00):
able to expel ejaculate. That thereis this pressure that you get in your
body when you are going to squirt, that if you just allow your body
to relax, and it may feellike you have to go to the bathroom,
it may feel like you're going tolose control. It may feel like
it's the orgasm of all orgasms.Just allow it to happen, and it's
(31:23):
not going to be p and ifit is, if it is men,
it's still squirting, all right.I think I think it's very important to
just build on what you said withIf you're a creamer, cream on,
cream on me, snail trail myface, snail trail. If you are
(31:48):
squirt a squirt on me, splashmountain. If you do neither, fine,
do what you do all over me, Like enjoy yourself, allow yourself
to fully embrace however your body experiencespleasure and all the reactions that your body
(32:10):
has for it. And if it'ssome guy out there that's pressure when you
can do it, tell him tofucking do it. You're like, yo,
squirt some shit out of your assright on demand. Please. But
I you know what I had talkedwith because I didn't start to experience sorting
on a regular basis until after thebirth about their child. It was something
(32:32):
that what happens sporadic. I didn'tknow. I don't know it just I
didn't consider myself to be a squarter. And I talked with Marlo and a
Stewart over at Velvet Lips a messageher because she teaches a class about it,
and I was just like, what'shappening. She's like, your body's
changing. Your pelvic floor has shifted, and I probably just didn't give a
any floor. Just like That's anotherthing like a lot of times with somebody
(32:57):
like I feel like I'm gonna belet's stop. Yeah, and like that's
one of those sensations that it couldlead to it. So if you feel
it, piston last one. Allright, how do you choose partners for
your entertainment scenes? Oh? Wow? Usually King has a Rolodex and he
(33:19):
sends me options. You are sucha gift to giver you. You told
me you're a sexual opportunist as yourlove language, so I like to provide
an opportunity. He speaks my language. Yeah, that is. I mean
you have your like first level ofvetting for partners, and then we have
(33:42):
sort of like our second level ofvetting together and then we bring the person
in to see if how we presenta what we're offering meets their needs.
So for me, it usually hasto do it on some form of social
media or through companies that I've workedfor or worked with or people who have
(34:04):
worked for our company work with ourcompany. I see who they are working
with, or somebody shares somebody's shipand I'm like, oh, I like
this person's look or their esthetic ortheir talents and abilities and shit, and
I'll be like, okay, soI'll I'll look into them more, you
know, do the whole social medialike does this person said any fuck shit
(34:27):
or there's something wrong with them?And it's funny because like there have been
some people that were just like,holy shit, glad we didn't work with
them, you know what I'm saying, And then other people sometimes that they've
gotten through the cracks. But youknow, usually there is some sort of
like attraction or interest in the person'sskill set, so they can't just DM
(34:51):
me like I want to get important. So yeah, and for me,
people I work with, yes acompany, usually well give me some options
or tell me who they are,who they have in mind, And usually
it's based on the parameters of likethat I do don work primarily, so
it's somebody who's gonna sub but theythink that I would be able to dominate
(35:14):
well. And then for our companyusually have like a rolling list and then
I take a look at it,and I'm like, oh, I like
that they could do that, orlike I have a vision like ooh,
because they could do that, wecould do that kind of scene or social
media. They I love the waythat they speak or that they present themselves.
I think that we can have likea lot of dialogue or like yeah,
(35:36):
So there you go. We areroyal fetish radio porn in politics and
we are going to motherfucking Costa Rica. So if you are worthy, come
on with us and we will seey'all next time. Peace. Ray of Adams