October 11, 2022 • 47 mins
In this episode, Jasmine & King debunk myths that people perceive about sex workers and the sex industry. They go over a number of different points, including:
Is sex work real work?
What is and what isn't sex work?
Sex work legalization vs decriminalization.
Enjoy and please leave us your thoughts in the comment section.
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Jasmine- @Jetsettingjasmine
King- @Therealkingnoire
Royal Fetish Radio- @Royalfetishradio
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Is sex work real work?
What is and what isn't sex work?
Sex work legalization vs decriminalization.
Enjoy and please leave us your thoughts in the comment section.
Follow On Instagram:
Jasmine- @Jetsettingjasmine
King- @Therealkingnoire
Royal Fetish Radio- @Royalfetishradio
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC51w...
AD:
Lust Arts - https://lustarts.com
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:06):
Right, So I've held every umporn job in the actual life I've been
I've been a pizza delivery guy.Oh, porn job Okay, Okay,
I have been a stripper. Ihad a homeboy that was a plumber and
(00:29):
I used to help him on work. Sometimes. I've been a construction worker
and a teacher. That's like everyevery porn role in in like mainstream porn
in real life? Though, whatabout form for women porn roles? Have
I checked some of those off?Were you a lady plumber? They don't
have lay I'm sure they would allthat shit, Like you know, it's
(00:54):
like certain professions they just put likelady in front of it for no fucking
reason. The same job based onsome of the pipes in the house.
Yes, I've been a lady plumber. Okay. What else? What with
therapists? Yeah, therapist therapist.That's that's more recent. I feel like
old porn jobs for women were likecheerleader. I've been cheerleader. Student.
(01:19):
It's definitely been a student. Umis that a job? Milf specifically,
it's my first primary job. Doinga mother is a job. But milf
specifically is saying the desire of somebodyelse is setting your job. Okay,
(01:42):
don't be letting the men frame youngtechnicality. It's a fucking job for me
to be wanted. But mother,yeah that's what are some what are some
other? Fatherfucker? Fatherfucker. Ifeel like delf needs to be, yeah,
more prominent in the world. Butsee, the thing is that Delpha
(02:07):
usually comes associated with like dadbod right, and that has not I got to
fall the figure. There you go, It hasn't really risen to the same
level of attraction, but it's gettingthere. As body positivity movements are taking
place, people are definitely starting tofind men of all shapes and sizes attractive.
(02:27):
And you know with that movement withthe beards, like to me,
that set it off like that,you know, we started to look at
men outside of sort of the frameof what because deeper can hide a lot
of ugly lord know the du butwhat is the other? I don't I
can't think of any other any otherlike like that. They've done to like
(02:52):
redundancy, you know what I mean, Like that's just like all the time
criminal professional criminals, that's the onlyfor black folks. Always like was it
a whole bunch of these companies hadlike sets like prison sets, I know,
and was like, yo, whatsick You're a rapper and that that
(03:12):
is you know, that's I didn'tsee many like rapper to my crapper or
what was it called the rapper it'syou can look it up. Yeah.
And then hip hop anal hip hopanal. You can't do that without a
rapper is the Is it the assthat has the talent? They need to
(03:34):
get these keyboards away from white peoplebecause they just type anything anything come out
the little fingers when they let themloose. Yeah, that's real. I
mean, other other than the jobs, you know, what we are discussing
today, segue is but really,hip hop Anal is the title of a
series, a porn series made morethan one of those. They didn't.
(03:59):
They did a whole hip hop Analthe Return and they have hip hop Antal
Queen, hip hop Antal Queen.Yes, and there's a bunch of white
ladies. Yeah, okay, goahead. That Well, what I what
I was segueing was that we aregoing to be talking about the misconceptions of
(04:19):
sex workers. Okay, so otherthan those five jobs that lead to to
sex in poem, you know,there's a lot of um stereotypes, misconceptions,
unsubstantiated truths, claims, claims.So I was trying, I was
(04:44):
trying to give my own up mylist. My journalists don't real quick now,
but you know, they have thesethese misconceptions about people in the sex
industry, which is a billion dollarindustry, which is a huge, almost
recess improof industry in certain sectors ofit. Everybody, meaning you knows a
(05:05):
sex worker. Yes, everybody hassomeone who has participated in some form of
sex work in their ciphle like,in their family, in some close knit
part of their life, whether it'sbeen being a consumer, whether it's being
a watcher, or someone who isactually within the industry. But still there's
(05:29):
all these misconceptions. So let's definewhat sex work is. I'm going to
pull from I'm just checking out thismagazine that was written about this article excuse
me, written about two years agoby Malory Monsner six myths you got all
wrong by about sex work. SoI'm going to be pulling from here today.
(05:50):
And the definition that Mallory gives usis sex work can be broadly defined
as using sexual behavior as capital.A client pays for a service, and
a sex worker performs it. Youlike that one? I like that?
Yes, you know, it transcendsthe computer. It face to face sex
(06:10):
work. Sexual behavior doesn't necessarily meanpenetration. It could be sex thing,
it could be audio. It justerotic labor in exchange for money. Okay,
so let's so let's name some ofthese some of these professions then.
Okay, So like my voice onthis podcast and us getting sponsorship, Hello,
(06:31):
supports sex work. Um, well, let's see being a cam model,
cam model, porn performer, orany part of porn. Excuse me,
I'm a little distracted today, butwhen we said cam model, I
don't think we were. We've beenon the radio since you won your two
(06:53):
new fet Con awards for thank youto everyone who got it. Yes,
this this year's Top Man Fetish Performerand Top Mail cam Performer. I got
the titles right, Yes, yeah, yeah, congratulation, thank you.
I actually celebrate it by going liveon cam, coming on my award,
(07:18):
defiled his awarding in good fetish form, and then cucked your award. I
figured that's as a as a wayto celebrate and fans I thought that was
a very nice work and they appreciatedit, appreciated it tip, They tipped,
and they paid for that erotic labor. Yeah, you're a sex worker
(07:42):
in so many ways, in somany ways. Okay, so you know,
full service in person sex work,phone boning. I don't know why
I still do this all these phoneservice operator Yeah I like that, but
I always like phone bone like they'sjust well some of us don't have a
(08:03):
bone. Everybody has phones. Butyou know what I thought was was it
was I don't miss them, spinelessmotherfucker. Sorry, I'm sorry, get
them. I'm a little I'm alittle rolled up. Okay, girls six,
I'm sorry. No, but thatwas that was that was good trail.
(08:24):
Um what else? We got?Strippers? Dancers go go, you
know, go go, and strippingis different. Uh, house, I'm
missing something. No, there's there'sI mean, you know, I'll go
and say, like bds M providers, because they often like to separate their
(08:45):
their work specifically somewhat understandably M,what else exchange erotic service from erotic service?
Then what if you're like, um, like a video vixen. Also,
you know what, like a lotof people are only fans try to
separate themselves from like porn and allthis. Other s work. Yeah,
(09:09):
only fans doing nakedness even if you'renot engaging with another. Honestly, nudity
doesn't make the difference either, ifyou know, if what the client exactly,
if what the client is paying foris some some um version of arousal
through the behavior that you're doing,the sexual behavior, the tworking, the
(09:31):
the suggestive stripping, the seducing,then you're doing sex work, which a
great sweatpant boner. Right, yeah, so I think I mean that's awesome.
Welcome, welcome to our industry.The benefits packages in the mail,
Well, okay, actually, soI'll tell you what Mallory has here.
(09:54):
I'm actually like, I know Mallory, but I'm gonna keep saying her name
until I do and she rewrites thisarticle including us. That's how this is
going to work. Sex work canbe an intimate or erotic labor performed and
exchange for money, shelter, orsubsistence. So she even expands it to
trade for other things outside of money, which I think is pretty cool.
And then when we think about sexwork being one of the oldest professions,
(10:18):
Yeah, so you know, tradeand barter and things like that were more
commonplace than just the exchange of money, and this included escort, street workers,
brothel workers, exotic dancers, BDSMpractitioner and people who do cam a
it more all right, So hugeumbrella for sex work and lots of myths
(10:39):
around it. And I think evenus having not a challenging time but realizing
how broad the spectrum of sex workis and how people define themselves as sex
workers or they don't or they're notreally sure if that's what it is.
I do think that sort of increasesthe myths around it because it is not
(11:00):
m How do you say, likeproperly recognize the way that you know,
if someone is an engineer, there'scivil engineer, there's Okay, I just
only dated a civil engineer, soI don't know there is the other kind
of engineers. Um, there's amusic engineers, etc. Etc. But
those have you know, there's aplace of study for them, there's a
(11:24):
degree or a certificate that comes withit. And so because sex work operates
even though it operates in plain sight, but they pretend that it operates in
the dark, it becomes a littlemore difficult to label, categorize and have
discussion and understanding of. So here'swhere we come in. All right,
So do you want to jump intothese? Definitely? All right, here's
the first one. We hear thisall the time. It is like a
(11:46):
major hashtag for us sex work.This is the myth. Sex work is
not real work, and shit isharder work than most people. Why am
I so tired? I mean,if you think about it, let's just
take a cam model for example.A cam model has to set up both
(12:11):
their physical surroundings. They have toset up their online presence. They have
to work and build that online presence. They have to perform, they have
to deal with their client base.You know, there's so many different levels
to it. I'm sure they haveto just you know, keep your books.
You have to you know, payyour fucking taxes because all of these
(12:33):
sites that you're on reports reports,you shit, so you have to pay
your tack. You do all thethings that in some people you just go
to work, show up for acouple hours. You don't do the books
for your job. No, youonly do that one job that you do
poorly. Yeah, you know,it's been promoted to out of incompetence because
nobody want to work with your assat that first level, so they just
(12:54):
move you up in somebody else's department. Um. Yeah, it's just a
job like any other entrepreneur nor job, you know. And I think that's
that's the other pieces that we needto really frame it as entrepreneurship because it's
not unionized. There isn't I meanwith an exception of like if you work
at like a strip club for example. But even those that work in strip
(13:16):
club have to acquire their own costumes. Many of them make their own costumes.
Should They all got to tip uppercentages to the DJ, to the
house mall. So there's yeah,there are almost independent contractors within that club,
right. They have to pick theirpick their music, pick their sets,
they have to practice yeah you know. Um and the part like you
(13:39):
may be working in that club,but there's work that's happening in that club
that no other professional can do,which is talking motherfucker about their money or
into that dance. So when alot of what you mentioned is marketing,
accounting, customer service, and theartistic talent interior design, costume design,
(14:03):
hair and maker of all of it, oh and tech. Yeah that's the
most frustrating part. Yeah, sothat sounds like work to me. The
other thing is that is also veryconsistent anything from whether you're talking about street
based sex work. There's a timeand a place for you to show up
(14:24):
to in order for you to getthat work. Yeah, you have costuming,
definitely have costuming. You have marketing. Yeah, you know, I
think with any entrepreneurship sex worker otherwiseyou understand you don't work in nine to
five, you work at twenty fourto seven. Yeah, you know what
I'm saying, Like you are alwaysworking. And let's say if you're a
(14:48):
cam model, you'll know these aremy hours that this should be popping off.
And it might not be the hoursin which your time zone is exactly,
or you might have a couple oftime zones that you have to hit
in order to make you to makeyour money. You know. So there's
there's so much just like just likewhat you said when you you have to
(15:09):
crunch numbers in so many different waysto get your back market research. I
remember I learned so much from apro cam model, Lucy Loo, when
she was sharing with me, likeopening up her cam studio which she supported
other cam models, and she wasjust like, oh my hours are like
seven am to like twelve, Soshe would without telling too much of hers,
(15:33):
so you know, get her familyup and ready and out, and
then she would go to work andit was so cool because she was like,
all of her client base is overseaswhere it is the end of their
work day, so it was perfect. And then by the season, she
would change her hours because it wouldbe when their kids were, when their
kids were at school versus the summerwhen their kids are home. She would
(15:54):
sort of tweak it to what washappening overseas with her clients and what is
happening in their life. So youknow, we see that with restaurant owners,
right they change their their their indoordining versus outdoor dining based on the
seasons and their customers. So anyway, sex work is work. Ship that
was work. Just explaining that shitto y'all. All sex workers are traffic.
(16:18):
Nah, Nah, there's that.I think I think there is this
conflated idea of that because people whoare like super anti sex work try to
put the two together in order tomake their case. You know what I'm
saying, Like what you've seen withSester Foster and some of these other things,
(16:41):
that's kind of like we can shuteverything down if we connect these two
things together. But there are peopleinsects work who come from all different walks
of life, Like I think justjust im porn like the people that I
meet. So people have left teachingand Wall Street and all these different industries
(17:03):
because sex work was the industry thatthey felt fit their skills, fit their
talents, or the skills and thetalents that they learned in marketing, or
the skills and the talents that theylearned in civil engineering, they felt that
they could apply to sex work.And there are many skills that can both
be applied to sex work, orwhen you are in the vanilla world that
(17:26):
sex work teaches you to really beable to apply. But then you know,
I think within the conversation of trafficking, there are so many of us
who choose like this is what Iwant to do. Unfortunately, there are
people who are trafficed and and thattrafficking, though doesn't always lead to sex
work. There are people who aretraffic that work in your local fucking restaurant,
(17:48):
right, you know what I'm saying. Like when when I was growing
up in Jurors, there was arestaurant around a blot from where I grew
up that got shut down because theywere trafficking people to work in the rest
So here's the thing is that it'snot sex work. If someone is being
trafficked, that's slavery. That issomething else. That person is not being
compensated, and that they also arenot consenting. If they're not consenting or
(18:14):
they're being compensated directly for their work, the value, the market value of
that work, it does not fallunder our industry at all, the same
way, like you noticed that wedidn't say pimp as a sex worker.
Correct, Yes, that is notit's not an age, right, it's
not a sex or it's not consensual. It is not market value. Maybe
(18:36):
an agent, right, so someonewho is taking a proper percentage for actually
brokering deals that both people are consentingto use. Right. So when people
talk about sex trafficking, I thinkit's important we should talk about sex trafficking.
We should talk about human trafficking.We should talk about that that trade
(19:02):
independent of sex work. You know. The same way is if we're going
to talk about running a restaurant,we should talk about running a restaurant and
having equal labor, labor laws,etc. And then we should talk about
people that are trafficking through through restaurantsand other you know, massage massage parlors
and etc. So yes, theconflating of the two is really it's really
(19:26):
harmful speaking of massage parlors, No, Deshaun Watson, masseuses are not sex
workers. I'll even go a stepfurther, massage therapists are not masseuses,
and all of those people are sexworkers unless they are consensually offering sexual behaviors
(19:51):
for the exchange of money or otherthings as we define earlier. You know,
the other part about to me thatmakes it incredibly harmful is it takes
the autonomy away from sex workers.If you are having this like captain save
them for people who want to dothe work, And that really does like
it's so aggravating when you are providingyour service and someone is like trying to
(20:15):
save you from providing yourself. It'sjust like you're wasting my time for sure.
And if you're not going to payfor this because you don't because you
think that I'm participating in some typeof like crime ring or I'm being abused
like that, that is a wasteof our time for those of us who
(20:36):
you know, just live regular lives. If someone thinks that we're being trafficked.
Then they start to make all ofthese implications on the rest of our
lives and our decisions. They thinkthat we can't make decisions on our own,
and so it really is important tomake that differentiation that there's no way
that you can be sex trafficked andbe a sex worker at the same time.
(20:56):
Now, the other thought was amovie. The other thought, too,
is that people who may have beensex trafficked at one point may choose
to become sex workers and that's okay. You know, the sex trafficking part
was not okay. Them choosing tohave understood that this can be done in
(21:18):
an ethical way, in an autonomousway is okay. So we can see
that with this, say said restaurantworker who may be brought here and traffic
to work at that restaurant, andonce they have been liberated from that illegal
operation, they decide they want toopen their own restaurant. Would anyone stop
them, or you know, say, it's terrible that you learned how to
(21:41):
run a restaurant from this place ofbeing trafficked and now you want to do
it yourself. Like no, we'dbe like we should go support that place.
Yeah, all right, who ammad? That's just I'm working on
identifying my emotion at any given time, and that's it. Okay, Okay,
(22:04):
sex work is inherently harmful? Nahnah to who what consensual adults choose
to do with their bodies, whatconsensual adults choose to do with their money?
They owned business? It is soum. I teach this class called
(22:26):
porn in Practice, and it's itis for therapists to be able to be
informed of working with sex workers.And some of the first questions that these
budding therapists ask are like, well, what about sex addictions? Okay,
that's a sex addiction, you know, Or what about if people are spending
too much time watching porn? Um? That is very subjective because if like
(22:53):
if I get to the point thatI can spend ten to twelve hours just
like watching or in masturbating, likeI actually feel like I'm incredibly successful in
my life. I know, likeI feel like that's a like I did
everything that I had to arrive atthis point that I could just like indulge
in pleasure. Now, if I'mdoing this ten to twelve hours a day
(23:15):
and I'm neglecting activities of daily life, like taking a bath or taking care
of my responsibilities. Then that's problematic. Then we need to exactly that is
exactly my point. It can beany type of obsession, so or you
know, a negative coping skill.So I often work around this, like
(23:37):
you know, sex, If youdefine sex work or sex in general as
bad, you will figure you willfind a way to somehow vilify it and
make it the reason and the causefor everything. You know. So,
um, I totally agree with this. I think I just want to just
want to kind of zone in whereum this talks about specific this and again
(24:00):
she's bringing up myths that people perceivethat it is degrading. The work that
we do is degrading, so atsome point it wears at our dignity.
And like I personally am revered inmy work, like I don't take work
where I am not placed on somepedestal told probably things that are just way
(24:22):
too complimentary, Like I don't takework unless it is uplifting and it feels
good. And those of my colleaguesthat take work that is anywhere in the
realm of degradation or humiliation or belittling, like they love that shit. Yeah,
so that's wrong. What do youthink about that. I can't say
(24:47):
it any better than no. No. I do think that it's important to
say that. Also, every individualis different, you know. So they're
are people who have had bad experienceswithin sex work. There are people who
have had bad experiences as doctors.There are people who've had bad experiences as
(25:08):
lawyers. I'm sure that percentage ishigh as fuck. Yeah, you know
what I'm saying. So there's there'sso many I think that where people feel
the harm comes in could be.You know, some people feel like the
way you're treated by others it's harmful. Right, But if you're in Congress,
(25:29):
people be talking shit about your asall fucking day, they be coming
for you, they be setting upshit outside your office, setting up nooses
outside your office, and you knowwhat I'm saying. You know what I'm
saying. So you know, there'sthere's a whole lot of professions out there,
you know that, get I don'tknow shit. If you a fucking
(25:52):
teacher nowadays, you're getting threatened atPTA meetings for teaching history, you know.
So there's there's so many jobs andprofessions out there that you can have
harmful experiences. It is not limitedto sex work. It's like one of
those things like you have a job, you live, you exist in the
world. There's gonna be a hugepossibility that you're gonna have a bad fucking
(26:14):
day at work, right, youknow? And then kind of like you're
going off for what you said aboutlike the self the feelings about it for
those of us who are working todecolonize ourlines from that kind of shit.
You know what I'm saying. Ifyou like what you do, if you
love what you do, how manypeople can say they love their work in
any profession. And if you arein sex work and you love what you
(26:37):
do, you know what I'm saying, I enjoy going to work. Yeah,
you know so I think it's exactlylike I am in full and total
agreement with you that it has todo with how people feel about sex.
I've been in the workforce since Iwas fourteen years old, and this is
the only job that I walk inand people are like, Queen, what
can I get you? Fuck?Would I ever think of doing anything else?
(27:02):
It's crazy talk? All right,here we go, number four,
there's six of them. You thinkwe're good to go? All right?
Cool? Criminalizing sex work is thebest thing for society. No. No,
When you have situations like that andyou force it to be in the
dark, then another element of societyis going to control that sex work because
(27:27):
they're gonna see that this is anopportunity to get in here without any laws,
without any regulation, without any protectionfor the people of at work.
So that is when you wind upwith pimps. That is when you wind
up with criminals running the industry,you know. So I do think it's
important, Like I think it shouldbe decriminalized across the board, you know,
(27:51):
and by decriminalized, there should becertain regulations to keep people safe,
you know, like imporn with likethe past system and things of that nature.
But I don't think that it shouldbe so regulated that it's more regulated
than you know, industries that arepolluting the planet. What would be the
(28:15):
equivalent to you, because this isthese words, And I think people are
often like well intended when they talkabout de krem when they talk about legalization,
right, which is a difference,right, because then the legalization becomes
the regulations. And I think ultimately, like people who speak on both sides
(28:37):
of those are to an extent,trying to break up the stereotypes in the
midst about sex work, but like, help give us a picture of what
career path is currently in place thatyou feel like there's enough oversight to allow
some safety and recognition of it asan actual you know career or you know
(29:03):
work. But it's not like thefucking formula industry that is, you know,
poisoning children left and right. Ithink it's tough because when you add
regulation to anything, there's gonna besome group of people that's like that shit
is too fucking regulated. Okay,so we're talking loosely here, but I'll
compare it to something that was alsoillegal in the United States, which is
(29:27):
liquor. Right. So that's actuallywhat one of the few things that was
ever amended in the Constitution is,Oh so you can change that, bitch,
Oh you could change that motherfucker whateverthe fuck they want. Ain't that
some shit? Okay? That shouldbe changing every now and then from Bible
(29:47):
to student term people and shit.But um, I think, like,
for example, if I go toa liquor store right now, there's gonna
there's certain brands, there's certain thingsthat have been you know by the that
that are regulated, but it's illegalfor me to just you know, brew
(30:08):
up a Scotch in my bathtub,you know what I'm saying, Like,
there's there's certain levels to the ship, you know, and I think that
there should be certain things in placeto keep people safe, especially like if
you've ever been an in person,full service sex worker, or just anything
(30:30):
that's in person, even even BDSM. You know, there are people that
pray on sex workers because they feelthat if that sex worker goes to the
police or goes to somebody for beingabused, no one's gonna believe them because
of the work that we do,you know what I'm saying. So it
would be good for it to bedecriminalized so somebody can say, hey,
(30:52):
I said no, or this personisn't even my client and they attack me
or whatever. I do think thatand this is this is as a sex
worker, like there should be certainplaces where you might not want to be
trying to sell openly on the street, you know what I'm saying, because
not yeah, you know what I'msaying, like that there's there's there's a
(31:17):
way to have that. And thenif you have you know, like when
I was in um in Germany,in Hamburg, they have like this whole
section in Hamburg where if you arelooking for a sex worker, that's where
you go, and it's completely legaland people have their own space and you
(31:38):
can't go in there and fuck around. The police will beat your ass if
you're going there and fuck around.So there's an air about the ship.
People can go get tested, peoplecan be safe for themselves physically and medicinally,
all that kind of shit, youknow what I'm saying. So I
think that makes that makes it,That makes it better. But there's also
like a nice little section of thatso that children don't they're not allowed to
(32:01):
be in there, you know,because I don't. I don't think,
you know, the world needs toengage in your fetish or engage in your
in your in your sex work.Yeah, you know. I've been on
some policy calls um around sex workand have heard the range and of you
know, from decrem legalization to justlike wild wild West, like let us
(32:24):
do what the fuck we want.And I definitely agree with you, like
there is there is a safe middle, and I don't think that everyone will
be satisfied in that middle. Andthat's okay, you know, m that
it is because of the range ofwork that we can do and also just
because everyone is different and respects umboundaries differently, that everyone won't be satisfied.
(32:50):
But I remember someone saying on aon one of the calls, like
they don't want to give their IDto these um cam companies. They don't
feel like they should have to dothat, and I was just like,
no, I'm against that because Ido think we need to know who is
doing the work. I don't thinkthat that company should be like selling it
right or turning it over to thepolice and that type of thing. But
(33:15):
we do need to know that you'reof age. You know, we should
know if both consumer and content creatorexists in this world and can be you
know, back to whatever the workis that they're doing. And the you
know, the of age part,it's like, we do have responsibility as
(33:37):
sex workers to protect people who maybe trafficked into our industry, maybe entering
this industry illegally by age, andalso people that are praying on children.
So I was just like, no, no, no, that's going to
that's too loose. And so,I, you know, I think it
is important for us to most jobs, you have to present your ID,
(34:00):
yeah, in your Social Security cardif you want to get paid and you
know, etc. So I think, you know, we can't have it
both ways, where we want tobe respected as workers in this society but
not joined some of the culture associatedwith working in this society. So I
know we can we actually should havea whole talk about decriminalization legalization of sex
(34:24):
work with some of our friends thatare working in policy, some lawyer in
yeah, yeah, yeah, let'sget the lawyers in here. Um okay.
So number five is legalizing sex workis the best thing for society,
and I think we really really duginto that on the last one. But
it is a myth. And wealso know that the legalization of of things
(34:46):
that have been outlawed before can sometimesfurther marginalize the people. And all the
people that are in jail right nowfor marijuana charges while everybody else is They
said, Biden is is looking itover Biden. If you don't fix this
shit, you ain't black fix thisship. Biden. Well, you know,
(35:09):
Kamala is looking over his shoulder likeyou better not freedom people. I
put in that thing. But atthe same time, I'm sure she's enjoying
the money that it has brought toher home state legalizing it. But Anyways,
that's another conversation. I do thinkthat there are incredible similarities that we
(35:30):
would see with legalizing sex work andneeding to undo the damage that making it
illegal has done, and also watchingvery carefully who would profit off that ship,
And I think that's one of thethings, like going back to alcohol.
You know, the difference between alcoholand marijuana is in America, marijuana
has always been associated with blacks andLatinos yep, yep. But the ones
(35:52):
that was running alcohol when the shipwas completely fucking illegal, their kids become
president Kenny already number six. Ican be this is a myth, and
please, producer extraordinarire, do notpull this one sentence out as a highlight
(36:15):
with no content. I want tosee this in her ig stories. I
can be a feminist and be againstsex work. No that part, yeah,
I know you, but this iswhy fuck with Mallory. I don't
know her, but this why herShe said, sorry, no you can't.
That's good writing, that's good writing, But no, you can't.
(36:39):
This is how this shit is huge. Um between I'm gonna say their names
swerves and I don't even know whatthe shit stands for, but I know
who they are and what they do. Um, you know, these this
feminist movement that doesn't include all women, right they loved at all lives matter
(37:00):
shit until it comes to all womenwhen it comes you know, to feminist
topics. And this is so thisis just like so on brand with black
feminism. You know, specifically,how white women will have this movement around
women that excludes black women. Andwhen we talk about sex work, I
(37:20):
know, and we're not talking aboutexcluding only black sex workers, but when
we look at the high propensity ofBlack and Latina women that are engaged in
sex work, because white men canlive without us in their sex work,
in their sex consumption, it reallyit becomes incredibly targeting. And the same
thing with trans women. A lotof their argument, a lot of their
(37:45):
argument is that the work is sodegrading and all these other things, and
so many of us that are notcoming at this work from such a privileged
place. True sex work because itis the most flexible, you know,
it allows us to have earnings thatyou cannot make in other jobs. Based
on this society and how the societyranks for women, women of color,
(38:09):
trans women, any marginalized women.It doesn't allow us our work schedule.
Excuse me, our work, Oursociety's work structure doesn't allow women to have
children and actually be able to takecare of their families and provide for their
families. So sex work is awonderful it's a wonderful place for women to
(38:32):
be able to have their autonomy oftheir business, of their body, of
their time. And how can afeminist be against that? You know?
And it's like, for oh,because it's sex work, is it feeds
into the patriarchy? Well, bitch, you don't think that you being a
secretary as some man's office don't feedinto the patriarchy. You don't think that
(38:54):
women that are selected as hostesses ormodels to sell particular products are not feeding
into the patriarchy. Like we livein a patriarchal society. Everything into it.
So unless you're gonna dismantle that shitin the meantime, a bit you
gotta eat. And you know whatit also feeds into the patriarchy is that
you're also saying that sex work doesn'thave men in it, thank you,
(39:16):
or that some of my clients arewomen who enjoy but yeah, being with
women, Yeah, it's and Ithink all of the things that we've gone
through speak to this very very narrowminded idea about what sex work is and
what it isn't. Yeah, youknow, I think the one that I
(39:37):
get the most also, and thisone is always like goes kind of back
to the harm is everybody that's insex work was abused as a child.
And I always say to people like, if you look at the percentage is
(40:00):
no matter what profession you're in,there's a large percentage too large, any
percentage too large of people that wereabused as children, it matches the fucked
up statistics throughout all of society.There are more people, I think,
(40:20):
who speak on it that are insectswork, because whether it's through having to
deal with it to get over it, to be in the profession, or
learning through things about like consent throughBDSM or reclaiming your sex through sex work,
(40:42):
you are more open to speaking aboutit because also we have to speak
about it because so many of ourclients have been through this as well,
and they're not sex workers, sothey might come to us because they're not
comfortable sometimes speaking to a therapist suchas yourself, So they they get into
these conversations with their sex workers becausethey're like I'm here for sex, so
(41:06):
I can have this sexual conversation withyou and not feel bad because I know
you know what I'm into, orhave to have this conversation with you,
so you don't do something that triggersme, you know. So we are
confronted with these kind of conversations thatthen I think makes us more open to
speaking about it. But throughout societythere is so many people who have been
(41:27):
harmed and abuse unfortunately. Yeah,for you know, those of you who
are in a non sex work job. The next time you go to your
work convention, you know, yourannual work education convention, and you're in
a room of a thousand people,the stat is I mean, you could
do like every fifth or every eighthperson. It's one out of five,
one out of eight. We'll havethat stat in this show has been abused
(41:52):
or treated sexually inappropriate as a child. So that's any any of us.
You know, if you look atyour father all the words as you're looking
at reading this or sorry, watchingthis episode, and you're just looking at
your followers, you can count ifyou just go every eighth, you know,
So I completely agree with you,because where the um the offense is
(42:15):
sexual assault. It gets also conflatedwith sex work, right, um,
but unfortunately, you know, it'sit's like anyways, I don't want to
go too deep into too deep intosexual assault specifically, but there is a
huge misconception. There is this ideathat only poor folks would do this work.
(42:37):
And we have met some people thatare they come from high for loot
in society. They do, theyreally do, and they and they stay
there they sustain it in sex work, right, you know, um,
And there's there are so many stereotypesand I think that that last comment,
it I love the fact that yousaid it really shows a narrow view of
(43:00):
what sex work is. You know, to think that this is just an
industry if you kind of absorb allthose just an industry of sex trafficked women
who are at the mercy of theirtheir clients. One of their clients is
(43:22):
because I'm in sex work or becauseI'm in porn that I want to fuck
you specifically. Oh sorry. There'salways like those people that are just like,
yeah, you know that's what youdo. I mean, your inbox
right now, fuck me. Butthat's the stereotype that um, I was
talking about sex addiction. You knowthat if you're in this work, or
(43:47):
even that if you consume this work, that sex is on your brain constantly,
and that you have absolutely no controlof who, what, when,
where, or how or how much. So that's wrong, or that you
could just speak to us any kindof way and think that shit is I
that try that shit at the bank? Well, there you go. That's
(44:12):
also that that very limiting idea oflike that you you don't know what you're
doing, you can't possibly make gooddecisions, or that you like or are
into being decred degraded. I don'thave to respect you because of the job
that you do. Yeah, youknow, I think, Oh, but
you know, we see that shipwith people that treat all types of people
(44:34):
that are in positions that they thinkare lowly you know, yeah, like
they'll talk that way to the peoplethat bring them their food and the restaurant
like the waiters and waitresses or somethinglike that. No, don't do that,
don't do that shit. And thenthe last one that I had is
especially with us because we're parents,you know, people always like, well
(44:58):
what about your kids and all ofit, you know, like all of
that kind of stuff, and forme, like this is the only job
people people think like, no,I don't bring my kids to work.
Do you you're a fireman? Doyou take your kids to go put out
fucking fires? No? You knowthat there's a separation or or you know,
(45:20):
do you tell your kids what youdo? And some kind of like
and they always expect like you totell them in great detail and things like
that. Well, the President ofthe United States wanted to show his kids
what he did so deeply that hebrought those fucking classified documents to go over
it with them on summer. Thatwas inappropriate. So you shouldn't be bringing
(45:42):
your work. Know that these arethese are so good. They are definitely
so on point. Um, makesure you listen to our show on sex
positive Parenting so that we can exploremore of the myths that are around that
piece. Um trying to think.I thought you was getting into the wrap
up like you. Yeah, I'mabout to wrap it. Finish what we
(46:05):
done. I'm a sex worker,put some respect on my name, on
my job title, and do whatevery'all gotta do. But we want benefits.
Don't nobody else get healthcare, butwe want this. Yeah, we
Bernie, make it happen, Oh, Bernie, Bernie would have been with
(46:25):
this ship. He would have It'sRoyal Fetish Radio, King to Wall,
Jesse and Jasmine. Where can theyfind us on all the things that we
haven't been banned on yet? Umat Royal Fetish Radio on Instagram. Yeah,
at Royal Fete Radio on Twitter,on YouTube. Royal Fetish Radio take
that. I'm my only fans whereI take that? So do that shit.
(46:52):
Royal Fetish x x X dot com. We see'all for the next episode.
Pa Ray of Adams
Right, So I've held every umporn job in the actual life I've been
I've been a pizza delivery guy.Oh, porn job Okay, Okay,
I have been a stripper. Ihad a homeboy that was a plumber and
(00:29):
I used to help him on work. Sometimes. I've been a construction worker
and a teacher. That's like everyevery porn role in in like mainstream porn
in real life? Though, whatabout form for women porn roles? Have
I checked some of those off?Were you a lady plumber? They don't
have lay I'm sure they would allthat shit, Like you know, it's
(00:54):
like certain professions they just put likelady in front of it for no fucking
reason. The same job based onsome of the pipes in the house.
Yes, I've been a lady plumber. Okay. What else? What with
therapists? Yeah, therapist therapist.That's that's more recent. I feel like
old porn jobs for women were likecheerleader. I've been cheerleader. Student.
(01:19):
It's definitely been a student. Umis that a job? Milf specifically,
it's my first primary job. Doinga mother is a job. But milf
specifically is saying the desire of somebodyelse is setting your job. Okay,
(01:42):
don't be letting the men frame youngtechnicality. It's a fucking job for me
to be wanted. But mother,yeah that's what are some what are some
other? Fatherfucker? Fatherfucker. Ifeel like delf needs to be, yeah,
more prominent in the world. Butsee, the thing is that Delpha
(02:07):
usually comes associated with like dadbod right, and that has not I got to
fall the figure. There you go, It hasn't really risen to the same
level of attraction, but it's gettingthere. As body positivity movements are taking
place, people are definitely starting tofind men of all shapes and sizes attractive.
(02:27):
And you know with that movement withthe beards, like to me,
that set it off like that,you know, we started to look at
men outside of sort of the frameof what because deeper can hide a lot
of ugly lord know the du butwhat is the other? I don't I
can't think of any other any otherlike like that. They've done to like
(02:52):
redundancy, you know what I mean, Like that's just like all the time
criminal professional criminals, that's the onlyfor black folks. Always like was it
a whole bunch of these companies hadlike sets like prison sets, I know,
and was like, yo, whatsick You're a rapper and that that
(03:12):
is you know, that's I didn'tsee many like rapper to my crapper or
what was it called the rapper it'syou can look it up. Yeah.
And then hip hop anal hip hopanal. You can't do that without a
rapper is the Is it the assthat has the talent? They need to
(03:34):
get these keyboards away from white peoplebecause they just type anything anything come out
the little fingers when they let themloose. Yeah, that's real. I
mean, other other than the jobs, you know, what we are discussing
today, segue is but really,hip hop Anal is the title of a
series, a porn series made morethan one of those. They didn't.
(03:59):
They did a whole hip hop Analthe Return and they have hip hop Antal
Queen, hip hop Antal Queen.Yes, and there's a bunch of white
ladies. Yeah, okay, goahead. That Well, what I what
I was segueing was that we aregoing to be talking about the misconceptions of
(04:19):
sex workers. Okay, so otherthan those five jobs that lead to to
sex in poem, you know,there's a lot of um stereotypes, misconceptions,
unsubstantiated truths, claims, claims.So I was trying, I was
(04:44):
trying to give my own up mylist. My journalists don't real quick now,
but you know, they have thesethese misconceptions about people in the sex
industry, which is a billion dollarindustry, which is a huge, almost
recess improof industry in certain sectors ofit. Everybody, meaning you knows a
(05:05):
sex worker. Yes, everybody hassomeone who has participated in some form of
sex work in their ciphle like,in their family, in some close knit
part of their life, whether it'sbeen being a consumer, whether it's being
a watcher, or someone who isactually within the industry. But still there's
(05:29):
all these misconceptions. So let's definewhat sex work is. I'm going to
pull from I'm just checking out thismagazine that was written about this article excuse
me, written about two years agoby Malory Monsner six myths you got all
wrong by about sex work. SoI'm going to be pulling from here today.
(05:50):
And the definition that Mallory gives usis sex work can be broadly defined
as using sexual behavior as capital.A client pays for a service, and
a sex worker performs it. Youlike that one? I like that?
Yes, you know, it transcendsthe computer. It face to face sex
(06:10):
work. Sexual behavior doesn't necessarily meanpenetration. It could be sex thing,
it could be audio. It justerotic labor in exchange for money. Okay,
so let's so let's name some ofthese some of these professions then.
Okay, So like my voice onthis podcast and us getting sponsorship, Hello,
(06:31):
supports sex work. Um, well, let's see being a cam model,
cam model, porn performer, orany part of porn. Excuse me,
I'm a little distracted today, butwhen we said cam model, I
don't think we were. We've beenon the radio since you won your two
(06:53):
new fet Con awards for thank youto everyone who got it. Yes,
this this year's Top Man Fetish Performerand Top Mail cam Performer. I got
the titles right, Yes, yeah, yeah, congratulation, thank you.
I actually celebrate it by going liveon cam, coming on my award,
(07:18):
defiled his awarding in good fetish form, and then cucked your award. I
figured that's as a as a wayto celebrate and fans I thought that was
a very nice work and they appreciatedit, appreciated it tip, They tipped,
and they paid for that erotic labor. Yeah, you're a sex worker
(07:42):
in so many ways, in somany ways. Okay, so you know,
full service in person sex work,phone boning. I don't know why
I still do this all these phoneservice operator Yeah I like that, but
I always like phone bone like they'sjust well some of us don't have a
(08:03):
bone. Everybody has phones. Butyou know what I thought was was it
was I don't miss them, spinelessmotherfucker. Sorry, I'm sorry, get
them. I'm a little I'm alittle rolled up. Okay, girls six,
I'm sorry. No, but thatwas that was that was good trail.
(08:24):
Um what else? We got?Strippers? Dancers go go, you
know, go go, and strippingis different. Uh, house, I'm
missing something. No, there's there'sI mean, you know, I'll go
and say, like bds M providers, because they often like to separate their
(08:45):
their work specifically somewhat understandably M,what else exchange erotic service from erotic service?
Then what if you're like, um, like a video vixen. Also,
you know what, like a lotof people are only fans try to
separate themselves from like porn and allthis. Other s work. Yeah,
(09:09):
only fans doing nakedness even if you'renot engaging with another. Honestly, nudity
doesn't make the difference either, ifyou know, if what the client exactly,
if what the client is paying foris some some um version of arousal
through the behavior that you're doing,the sexual behavior, the tworking, the
(09:31):
the suggestive stripping, the seducing,then you're doing sex work, which a
great sweatpant boner. Right, yeah, so I think I mean that's awesome.
Welcome, welcome to our industry.The benefits packages in the mail,
Well, okay, actually, soI'll tell you what Mallory has here.
(09:54):
I'm actually like, I know Mallory, but I'm gonna keep saying her name
until I do and she rewrites thisarticle including us. That's how this is
going to work. Sex work canbe an intimate or erotic labor performed and
exchange for money, shelter, orsubsistence. So she even expands it to
trade for other things outside of money, which I think is pretty cool.
And then when we think about sexwork being one of the oldest professions,
(10:18):
Yeah, so you know, tradeand barter and things like that were more
commonplace than just the exchange of money, and this included escort, street workers,
brothel workers, exotic dancers, BDSMpractitioner and people who do cam a
it more all right, So hugeumbrella for sex work and lots of myths
(10:39):
around it. And I think evenus having not a challenging time but realizing
how broad the spectrum of sex workis and how people define themselves as sex
workers or they don't or they're notreally sure if that's what it is.
I do think that sort of increasesthe myths around it because it is not
(11:00):
m How do you say, likeproperly recognize the way that you know,
if someone is an engineer, there'scivil engineer, there's Okay, I just
only dated a civil engineer, soI don't know there is the other kind
of engineers. Um, there's amusic engineers, etc. Etc. But
those have you know, there's aplace of study for them, there's a
(11:24):
degree or a certificate that comes withit. And so because sex work operates
even though it operates in plain sight, but they pretend that it operates in
the dark, it becomes a littlemore difficult to label, categorize and have
discussion and understanding of. So here'swhere we come in. All right,
So do you want to jump intothese? Definitely? All right, here's
the first one. We hear thisall the time. It is like a
(11:46):
major hashtag for us sex work.This is the myth. Sex work is
not real work, and shit isharder work than most people. Why am
I so tired? I mean,if you think about it, let's just
take a cam model for example.A cam model has to set up both
(12:11):
their physical surroundings. They have toset up their online presence. They have
to work and build that online presence. They have to perform, they have
to deal with their client base.You know, there's so many different levels
to it. I'm sure they haveto just you know, keep your books.
You have to you know, payyour fucking taxes because all of these
(12:33):
sites that you're on reports reports,you shit, so you have to pay
your tack. You do all thethings that in some people you just go
to work, show up for acouple hours. You don't do the books
for your job. No, youonly do that one job that you do
poorly. Yeah, you know,it's been promoted to out of incompetence because
nobody want to work with your assat that first level, so they just
(12:54):
move you up in somebody else's department. Um. Yeah, it's just a
job like any other entrepreneur nor job, you know. And I think that's
that's the other pieces that we needto really frame it as entrepreneurship because it's
not unionized. There isn't I meanwith an exception of like if you work
at like a strip club for example. But even those that work in strip
(13:16):
club have to acquire their own costumes. Many of them make their own costumes.
Should They all got to tip uppercentages to the DJ, to the
house mall. So there's yeah,there are almost independent contractors within that club,
right. They have to pick theirpick their music, pick their sets,
they have to practice yeah you know. Um and the part like you
(13:39):
may be working in that club,but there's work that's happening in that club
that no other professional can do,which is talking motherfucker about their money or
into that dance. So when alot of what you mentioned is marketing,
accounting, customer service, and theartistic talent interior design, costume design,
(14:03):
hair and maker of all of it, oh and tech. Yeah that's the
most frustrating part. Yeah, sothat sounds like work to me. The
other thing is that is also veryconsistent anything from whether you're talking about street
based sex work. There's a timeand a place for you to show up
(14:24):
to in order for you to getthat work. Yeah, you have costuming,
definitely have costuming. You have marketing. Yeah, you know, I
think with any entrepreneurship sex worker otherwiseyou understand you don't work in nine to
five, you work at twenty fourto seven. Yeah, you know what
I'm saying, Like you are alwaysworking. And let's say if you're a
(14:48):
cam model, you'll know these aremy hours that this should be popping off.
And it might not be the hoursin which your time zone is exactly,
or you might have a couple oftime zones that you have to hit
in order to make you to makeyour money. You know. So there's
there's so much just like just likewhat you said when you you have to
(15:09):
crunch numbers in so many different waysto get your back market research. I
remember I learned so much from apro cam model, Lucy Loo, when
she was sharing with me, likeopening up her cam studio which she supported
other cam models, and she wasjust like, oh my hours are like
seven am to like twelve, Soshe would without telling too much of hers,
(15:33):
so you know, get her familyup and ready and out, and
then she would go to work andit was so cool because she was like,
all of her client base is overseaswhere it is the end of their
work day, so it was perfect. And then by the season, she
would change her hours because it wouldbe when their kids were, when their
kids were at school versus the summerwhen their kids are home. She would
(15:54):
sort of tweak it to what washappening overseas with her clients and what is
happening in their life. So youknow, we see that with restaurant owners,
right they change their their their indoordining versus outdoor dining based on the
seasons and their customers. So anyway, sex work is work. Ship that
was work. Just explaining that shitto y'all. All sex workers are traffic.
(16:18):
Nah, Nah, there's that.I think I think there is this
conflated idea of that because people whoare like super anti sex work try to
put the two together in order tomake their case. You know what I'm
saying, Like what you've seen withSester Foster and some of these other things,
(16:41):
that's kind of like we can shuteverything down if we connect these two
things together. But there are peopleinsects work who come from all different walks
of life, Like I think justjust im porn like the people that I
meet. So people have left teachingand Wall Street and all these different industries
(17:03):
because sex work was the industry thatthey felt fit their skills, fit their
talents, or the skills and thetalents that they learned in marketing, or
the skills and the talents that theylearned in civil engineering, they felt that
they could apply to sex work.And there are many skills that can both
be applied to sex work, orwhen you are in the vanilla world that
(17:26):
sex work teaches you to really beable to apply. But then you know,
I think within the conversation of trafficking, there are so many of us
who choose like this is what Iwant to do. Unfortunately, there are
people who are trafficed and and thattrafficking, though doesn't always lead to sex
work. There are people who aretraffic that work in your local fucking restaurant,
(17:48):
right, you know what I'm saying. Like when when I was growing
up in Jurors, there was arestaurant around a blot from where I grew
up that got shut down because theywere trafficking people to work in the rest
So here's the thing is that it'snot sex work. If someone is being
trafficked, that's slavery. That issomething else. That person is not being
compensated, and that they also arenot consenting. If they're not consenting or
(18:14):
they're being compensated directly for their work, the value, the market value of
that work, it does not fallunder our industry at all, the same
way, like you noticed that wedidn't say pimp as a sex worker.
Correct, Yes, that is notit's not an age, right, it's
not a sex or it's not consensual. It is not market value. Maybe
(18:36):
an agent, right, so someonewho is taking a proper percentage for actually
brokering deals that both people are consentingto use. Right. So when people
talk about sex trafficking, I thinkit's important we should talk about sex trafficking.
We should talk about human trafficking.We should talk about that that trade
(19:02):
independent of sex work. You know. The same way is if we're going
to talk about running a restaurant,we should talk about running a restaurant and
having equal labor, labor laws,etc. And then we should talk about
people that are trafficking through through restaurantsand other you know, massage massage parlors
and etc. So yes, theconflating of the two is really it's really
(19:26):
harmful speaking of massage parlors, No, Deshaun Watson, masseuses are not sex
workers. I'll even go a stepfurther, massage therapists are not masseuses,
and all of those people are sexworkers unless they are consensually offering sexual behaviors
(19:51):
for the exchange of money or otherthings as we define earlier. You know,
the other part about to me thatmakes it incredibly harmful is it takes
the autonomy away from sex workers.If you are having this like captain save
them for people who want to dothe work, And that really does like
it's so aggravating when you are providingyour service and someone is like trying to
(20:15):
save you from providing yourself. It'sjust like you're wasting my time for sure.
And if you're not going to payfor this because you don't because you
think that I'm participating in some typeof like crime ring or I'm being abused
like that, that is a wasteof our time for those of us who
(20:36):
you know, just live regular lives. If someone thinks that we're being trafficked.
Then they start to make all ofthese implications on the rest of our
lives and our decisions. They thinkthat we can't make decisions on our own,
and so it really is important tomake that differentiation that there's no way
that you can be sex trafficked andbe a sex worker at the same time.
(20:56):
Now, the other thought was amovie. The other thought, too,
is that people who may have beensex trafficked at one point may choose
to become sex workers and that's okay. You know, the sex trafficking part
was not okay. Them choosing tohave understood that this can be done in
(21:18):
an ethical way, in an autonomousway is okay. So we can see
that with this, say said restaurantworker who may be brought here and traffic
to work at that restaurant, andonce they have been liberated from that illegal
operation, they decide they want toopen their own restaurant. Would anyone stop
them, or you know, say, it's terrible that you learned how to
(21:41):
run a restaurant from this place ofbeing trafficked and now you want to do
it yourself. Like no, we'dbe like we should go support that place.
Yeah, all right, who ammad? That's just I'm working on
identifying my emotion at any given time, and that's it. Okay, Okay,
(22:04):
sex work is inherently harmful? Nahnah to who what consensual adults choose
to do with their bodies, whatconsensual adults choose to do with their money?
They owned business? It is soum. I teach this class called
(22:26):
porn in Practice, and it's itis for therapists to be able to be
informed of working with sex workers.And some of the first questions that these
budding therapists ask are like, well, what about sex addictions? Okay,
that's a sex addiction, you know, Or what about if people are spending
too much time watching porn? Um? That is very subjective because if like
(22:53):
if I get to the point thatI can spend ten to twelve hours just
like watching or in masturbating, likeI actually feel like I'm incredibly successful in
my life. I know, likeI feel like that's a like I did
everything that I had to arrive atthis point that I could just like indulge
in pleasure. Now, if I'mdoing this ten to twelve hours a day
(23:15):
and I'm neglecting activities of daily life, like taking a bath or taking care
of my responsibilities. Then that's problematic. Then we need to exactly that is
exactly my point. It can beany type of obsession, so or you
know, a negative coping skill.So I often work around this, like
(23:37):
you know, sex, If youdefine sex work or sex in general as
bad, you will figure you willfind a way to somehow vilify it and
make it the reason and the causefor everything. You know. So,
um, I totally agree with this. I think I just want to just
want to kind of zone in whereum this talks about specific this and again
(24:00):
she's bringing up myths that people perceivethat it is degrading. The work that
we do is degrading, so atsome point it wears at our dignity.
And like I personally am revered inmy work, like I don't take work
where I am not placed on somepedestal told probably things that are just way
(24:22):
too complimentary, Like I don't takework unless it is uplifting and it feels
good. And those of my colleaguesthat take work that is anywhere in the
realm of degradation or humiliation or belittling, like they love that shit. Yeah,
so that's wrong. What do youthink about that. I can't say
(24:47):
it any better than no. No. I do think that it's important to
say that. Also, every individualis different, you know. So they're
are people who have had bad experienceswithin sex work. There are people who
have had bad experiences as doctors.There are people who've had bad experiences as
(25:08):
lawyers. I'm sure that percentage ishigh as fuck. Yeah, you know
what I'm saying. So there's there'sso many I think that where people feel
the harm comes in could be.You know, some people feel like the
way you're treated by others it's harmful. Right, But if you're in Congress,
(25:29):
people be talking shit about your asall fucking day, they be coming
for you, they be setting upshit outside your office, setting up nooses
outside your office, and you knowwhat I'm saying. You know what I'm
saying. So you know, there'sthere's a whole lot of professions out there,
you know that, get I don'tknow shit. If you a fucking
(25:52):
teacher nowadays, you're getting threatened atPTA meetings for teaching history, you know.
So there's there's so many jobs andprofessions out there that you can have
harmful experiences. It is not limitedto sex work. It's like one of
those things like you have a job, you live, you exist in the
world. There's gonna be a hugepossibility that you're gonna have a bad fucking
(26:14):
day at work, right, youknow? And then kind of like you're
going off for what you said aboutlike the self the feelings about it for
those of us who are working todecolonize ourlines from that kind of shit.
You know what I'm saying. Ifyou like what you do, if you
love what you do, how manypeople can say they love their work in
any profession. And if you arein sex work and you love what you
(26:37):
do, you know what I'm saying, I enjoy going to work. Yeah,
you know so I think it's exactlylike I am in full and total
agreement with you that it has todo with how people feel about sex.
I've been in the workforce since Iwas fourteen years old, and this is
the only job that I walk inand people are like, Queen, what
can I get you? Fuck?Would I ever think of doing anything else?
(27:02):
It's crazy talk? All right,here we go, number four,
there's six of them. You thinkwe're good to go? All right?
Cool? Criminalizing sex work is thebest thing for society. No. No,
When you have situations like that andyou force it to be in the
dark, then another element of societyis going to control that sex work because
(27:27):
they're gonna see that this is anopportunity to get in here without any laws,
without any regulation, without any protectionfor the people of at work.
So that is when you wind upwith pimps. That is when you wind
up with criminals running the industry,you know. So I do think it's
important, Like I think it shouldbe decriminalized across the board, you know,
(27:51):
and by decriminalized, there should becertain regulations to keep people safe,
you know, like imporn with likethe past system and things of that nature.
But I don't think that it shouldbe so regulated that it's more regulated
than you know, industries that arepolluting the planet. What would be the
(28:15):
equivalent to you, because this isthese words, And I think people are
often like well intended when they talkabout de krem when they talk about legalization,
right, which is a difference,right, because then the legalization becomes
the regulations. And I think ultimately, like people who speak on both sides
(28:37):
of those are to an extent,trying to break up the stereotypes in the
midst about sex work, but like, help give us a picture of what
career path is currently in place thatyou feel like there's enough oversight to allow
some safety and recognition of it asan actual you know career or you know
(29:03):
work. But it's not like thefucking formula industry that is, you know,
poisoning children left and right. Ithink it's tough because when you add
regulation to anything, there's gonna besome group of people that's like that shit
is too fucking regulated. Okay,so we're talking loosely here, but I'll
compare it to something that was alsoillegal in the United States, which is
(29:27):
liquor. Right. So that's actuallywhat one of the few things that was
ever amended in the Constitution is,Oh so you can change that, bitch,
Oh you could change that motherfucker whateverthe fuck they want. Ain't that
some shit? Okay? That shouldbe changing every now and then from Bible
(29:47):
to student term people and shit.But um, I think, like,
for example, if I go toa liquor store right now, there's gonna
there's certain brands, there's certain thingsthat have been you know by the that
that are regulated, but it's illegalfor me to just you know, brew
(30:08):
up a Scotch in my bathtub,you know what I'm saying, Like,
there's there's certain levels to the ship, you know, and I think that
there should be certain things in placeto keep people safe, especially like if
you've ever been an in person,full service sex worker, or just anything
(30:30):
that's in person, even even BDSM. You know, there are people that
pray on sex workers because they feelthat if that sex worker goes to the
police or goes to somebody for beingabused, no one's gonna believe them because
of the work that we do,you know what I'm saying. So it
would be good for it to bedecriminalized so somebody can say, hey,
(30:52):
I said no, or this personisn't even my client and they attack me
or whatever. I do think thatand this is this is as a sex
worker, like there should be certainplaces where you might not want to be
trying to sell openly on the street, you know what I'm saying, because
not yeah, you know what I'msaying, like that there's there's there's a
(31:17):
way to have that. And thenif you have you know, like when
I was in um in Germany,in Hamburg, they have like this whole
section in Hamburg where if you arelooking for a sex worker, that's where
you go, and it's completely legaland people have their own space and you
(31:38):
can't go in there and fuck around. The police will beat your ass if
you're going there and fuck around.So there's an air about the ship.
People can go get tested, peoplecan be safe for themselves physically and medicinally,
all that kind of shit, youknow what I'm saying. So I
think that makes that makes it,That makes it better. But there's also
like a nice little section of thatso that children don't they're not allowed to
(32:01):
be in there, you know,because I don't. I don't think,
you know, the world needs toengage in your fetish or engage in your
in your in your sex work.Yeah, you know. I've been on
some policy calls um around sex workand have heard the range and of you
know, from decrem legalization to justlike wild wild West, like let us
(32:24):
do what the fuck we want.And I definitely agree with you, like
there is there is a safe middle, and I don't think that everyone will
be satisfied in that middle. Andthat's okay, you know, m that
it is because of the range ofwork that we can do and also just
because everyone is different and respects umboundaries differently, that everyone won't be satisfied.
(32:50):
But I remember someone saying on aon one of the calls, like
they don't want to give their IDto these um cam companies. They don't
feel like they should have to dothat, and I was just like,
no, I'm against that because Ido think we need to know who is
doing the work. I don't thinkthat that company should be like selling it
right or turning it over to thepolice and that type of thing. But
(33:15):
we do need to know that you'reof age. You know, we should
know if both consumer and content creatorexists in this world and can be you
know, back to whatever the workis that they're doing. And the you
know, the of age part,it's like, we do have responsibility as
(33:37):
sex workers to protect people who maybe trafficked into our industry, maybe entering
this industry illegally by age, andalso people that are praying on children.
So I was just like, no, no, no, that's going to
that's too loose. And so,I, you know, I think it
is important for us to most jobs, you have to present your ID,
(34:00):
yeah, in your Social Security cardif you want to get paid and you
know, etc. So I think, you know, we can't have it
both ways, where we want tobe respected as workers in this society but
not joined some of the culture associatedwith working in this society. So I
know we can we actually should havea whole talk about decriminalization legalization of sex
(34:24):
work with some of our friends thatare working in policy, some lawyer in
yeah, yeah, yeah, let'sget the lawyers in here. Um okay.
So number five is legalizing sex workis the best thing for society,
and I think we really really duginto that on the last one. But
it is a myth. And wealso know that the legalization of of things
(34:46):
that have been outlawed before can sometimesfurther marginalize the people. And all the
people that are in jail right nowfor marijuana charges while everybody else is They
said, Biden is is looking itover Biden. If you don't fix this
shit, you ain't black fix thisship. Biden. Well, you know,
(35:09):
Kamala is looking over his shoulder likeyou better not freedom people. I
put in that thing. But atthe same time, I'm sure she's enjoying
the money that it has brought toher home state legalizing it. But Anyways,
that's another conversation. I do thinkthat there are incredible similarities that we
(35:30):
would see with legalizing sex work andneeding to undo the damage that making it
illegal has done, and also watchingvery carefully who would profit off that ship,
And I think that's one of thethings, like going back to alcohol.
You know, the difference between alcoholand marijuana is in America, marijuana
has always been associated with blacks andLatinos yep, yep. But the ones
(35:52):
that was running alcohol when the shipwas completely fucking illegal, their kids become
president Kenny already number six. Ican be this is a myth, and
please, producer extraordinarire, do notpull this one sentence out as a highlight
(36:15):
with no content. I want tosee this in her ig stories. I
can be a feminist and be againstsex work. No that part, yeah,
I know you, but this iswhy fuck with Mallory. I don't
know her, but this why herShe said, sorry, no you can't.
That's good writing, that's good writing, But no, you can't.
(36:39):
This is how this shit is huge. Um between I'm gonna say their names
swerves and I don't even know whatthe shit stands for, but I know
who they are and what they do. Um, you know, these this
feminist movement that doesn't include all women, right they loved at all lives matter
(37:00):
shit until it comes to all womenwhen it comes you know, to feminist
topics. And this is so thisis just like so on brand with black
feminism. You know, specifically,how white women will have this movement around
women that excludes black women. Andwhen we talk about sex work, I
(37:20):
know, and we're not talking aboutexcluding only black sex workers, but when
we look at the high propensity ofBlack and Latina women that are engaged in
sex work, because white men canlive without us in their sex work,
in their sex consumption, it reallyit becomes incredibly targeting. And the same
thing with trans women. A lotof their argument, a lot of their
(37:45):
argument is that the work is sodegrading and all these other things, and
so many of us that are notcoming at this work from such a privileged
place. True sex work because itis the most flexible, you know,
it allows us to have earnings thatyou cannot make in other jobs. Based
on this society and how the societyranks for women, women of color,
(38:09):
trans women, any marginalized women.It doesn't allow us our work schedule.
Excuse me, our work, Oursociety's work structure doesn't allow women to have
children and actually be able to takecare of their families and provide for their
families. So sex work is awonderful it's a wonderful place for women to
(38:32):
be able to have their autonomy oftheir business, of their body, of
their time. And how can afeminist be against that? You know?
And it's like, for oh,because it's sex work, is it feeds
into the patriarchy? Well, bitch, you don't think that you being a
secretary as some man's office don't feedinto the patriarchy. You don't think that
(38:54):
women that are selected as hostesses ormodels to sell particular products are not feeding
into the patriarchy. Like we livein a patriarchal society. Everything into it.
So unless you're gonna dismantle that shitin the meantime, a bit you
gotta eat. And you know whatit also feeds into the patriarchy is that
you're also saying that sex work doesn'thave men in it, thank you,
(39:16):
or that some of my clients arewomen who enjoy but yeah, being with
women, Yeah, it's and Ithink all of the things that we've gone
through speak to this very very narrowminded idea about what sex work is and
what it isn't. Yeah, youknow, I think the one that I
(39:37):
get the most also, and thisone is always like goes kind of back
to the harm is everybody that's insex work was abused as a child.
And I always say to people like, if you look at the percentage is
(40:00):
no matter what profession you're in,there's a large percentage too large, any
percentage too large of people that wereabused as children, it matches the fucked
up statistics throughout all of society.There are more people, I think,
(40:20):
who speak on it that are insectswork, because whether it's through having to
deal with it to get over it, to be in the profession, or
learning through things about like consent throughBDSM or reclaiming your sex through sex work,
(40:42):
you are more open to speaking aboutit because also we have to speak
about it because so many of ourclients have been through this as well,
and they're not sex workers, sothey might come to us because they're not
comfortable sometimes speaking to a therapist suchas yourself, So they they get into
these conversations with their sex workers becausethey're like I'm here for sex, so
(41:06):
I can have this sexual conversation withyou and not feel bad because I know
you know what I'm into, orhave to have this conversation with you,
so you don't do something that triggersme, you know. So we are
confronted with these kind of conversations thatthen I think makes us more open to
speaking about it. But throughout societythere is so many people who have been
(41:27):
harmed and abuse unfortunately. Yeah,for you know, those of you who
are in a non sex work job. The next time you go to your
work convention, you know, yourannual work education convention, and you're in
a room of a thousand people,the stat is I mean, you could
do like every fifth or every eighthperson. It's one out of five,
one out of eight. We'll havethat stat in this show has been abused
(41:52):
or treated sexually inappropriate as a child. So that's any any of us.
You know, if you look atyour father all the words as you're looking
at reading this or sorry, watchingthis episode, and you're just looking at
your followers, you can count ifyou just go every eighth, you know,
So I completely agree with you,because where the um the offense is
(42:15):
sexual assault. It gets also conflatedwith sex work, right, um,
but unfortunately, you know, it'sit's like anyways, I don't want to
go too deep into too deep intosexual assault specifically, but there is a
huge misconception. There is this ideathat only poor folks would do this work.
(42:37):
And we have met some people thatare they come from high for loot
in society. They do, theyreally do, and they and they stay
there they sustain it in sex work, right, you know, um,
And there's there are so many stereotypesand I think that that last comment,
it I love the fact that yousaid it really shows a narrow view of
(43:00):
what sex work is. You know, to think that this is just an
industry if you kind of absorb allthose just an industry of sex trafficked women
who are at the mercy of theirtheir clients. One of their clients is
(43:22):
because I'm in sex work or becauseI'm in porn that I want to fuck
you specifically. Oh sorry. There'salways like those people that are just like,
yeah, you know that's what youdo. I mean, your inbox
right now, fuck me. Butthat's the stereotype that um, I was
talking about sex addiction. You knowthat if you're in this work, or
(43:47):
even that if you consume this work, that sex is on your brain constantly,
and that you have absolutely no controlof who, what, when,
where, or how or how much. So that's wrong, or that you
could just speak to us any kindof way and think that shit is I
that try that shit at the bank? Well, there you go. That's
(44:12):
also that that very limiting idea oflike that you you don't know what you're
doing, you can't possibly make gooddecisions, or that you like or are
into being decred degraded. I don'thave to respect you because of the job
that you do. Yeah, youknow, I think, Oh, but
you know, we see that shipwith people that treat all types of people
(44:34):
that are in positions that they thinkare lowly you know, yeah, like
they'll talk that way to the peoplethat bring them their food and the restaurant
like the waiters and waitresses or somethinglike that. No, don't do that,
don't do that shit. And thenthe last one that I had is
especially with us because we're parents,you know, people always like, well
(44:58):
what about your kids and all ofit, you know, like all of
that kind of stuff, and forme, like this is the only job
people people think like, no,I don't bring my kids to work.
Do you you're a fireman? Doyou take your kids to go put out
fucking fires? No? You knowthat there's a separation or or you know,
(45:20):
do you tell your kids what youdo? And some kind of like
and they always expect like you totell them in great detail and things like
that. Well, the President ofthe United States wanted to show his kids
what he did so deeply that hebrought those fucking classified documents to go over
it with them on summer. Thatwas inappropriate. So you shouldn't be bringing
(45:42):
your work. Know that these arethese are so good. They are definitely
so on point. Um, makesure you listen to our show on sex
positive Parenting so that we can exploremore of the myths that are around that
piece. Um trying to think.I thought you was getting into the wrap
up like you. Yeah, I'mabout to wrap it. Finish what we
(46:05):
done. I'm a sex worker,put some respect on my name, on
my job title, and do whatevery'all gotta do. But we want benefits.
Don't nobody else get healthcare, butwe want this. Yeah, we
Bernie, make it happen, Oh, Bernie, Bernie would have been with
(46:25):
this ship. He would have It'sRoyal Fetish Radio, King to Wall,
Jesse and Jasmine. Where can theyfind us on all the things that we
haven't been banned on yet? Umat Royal Fetish Radio on Instagram. Yeah,
at Royal Fete Radio on Twitter,on YouTube. Royal Fetish Radio take
that. I'm my only fans whereI take that? So do that shit.
(46:52):
Royal Fetish x x X dot com. We see'all for the next episode.
Pa Ray of Adams
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