August 23, 2022 • 56 mins
King and Jasmine bring you into their world. The parenting world. And how family shows up for them.
King’s Father’s Day billboard
Leaving family vulnerable
Sending the wrong kind of content to parents
If you want to know how our host do it all and be amazing parents, this is the episode for you.
Follow On Instagram:
Jasmine- @Jetsettingjasmine
King- @Therealkingnoire
Royal Fetish Radio- @Royalfetishradio
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC51ww9YxUtYDfD4_nhw2x-g
AD:
Lust Arts - https://lustarts.com
King’s Father’s Day billboard
Leaving family vulnerable
Sending the wrong kind of content to parents
If you want to know how our host do it all and be amazing parents, this is the episode for you.
Follow On Instagram:
Jasmine- @Jetsettingjasmine
King- @Therealkingnoire
Royal Fetish Radio- @Royalfetishradio
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC51ww9YxUtYDfD4_nhw2x-g
AD:
Lust Arts - https://lustarts.com
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
So it's cameo really like men's versionof cheetah print. I think so.
Yeah, it's like one of thosethings that you know, your move your
primal Yeah, like a hunt.Yeah, I'm on a hunt, or
I need to just blend in withrandom shit. It's funny because people and
(00:20):
cameo never blend in. Neither dowomen in Cheetah Leopard. There was that
that one camera that people was rockingfor a while that was red. I
was like, where are you gonnahide a fire? Just you're wearing the
red blue? What if the blueused to be there? That was like
swat gray? Yeah, but Ididn't understand where they was trying to hide
(00:43):
out at. But I do thinkyou know that that works with what we're
talking about today because we're talking aboutparenting and like, no, no,
there's a certain age where all womenwomen fade into if there are certain a
certain type of that's right phases intodaycheetah print, you know what I'm saying.
(01:03):
And then men of a certain age. We've probably been rocking camel forever,
but it just come out more.Yeah, we got like dad shorts
that are camouflaged, layers of camouflage. I sent you a picture today.
As a matter of fact, letme pull it out so it wasn't me
(01:25):
and I sent it in our familychat. Yes, yeah, that's put
it for the camera. We'll makesure head to toe head to tell chetlag.
And I don't even be knowing whatanimal it is. I don't care.
I just want you to know Iam fierce. Yeah, be afraid.
(01:45):
I'm not afraid to wear this.H So parenting Okay, here we
are with child number four, right, a fetish? How's it? How
are you adjusting? Everything? Ifeel like is adjusting well, except I
(02:09):
don't know. I guess for me, Like people always talk about losing sleep,
but I'm an insomniac. M Soit's like the times that I'm going
to sleep, it's usually like it'sperfect time and the change change the baby.
I am not an insomniac. Iam losing sleep. And it's not
(02:35):
actually like her being up crying oranything, as much as it is not
being comfortable because they both are likesandwiching me in this hot heater, mom
sandwich. Um, it's the positioningin the bed, then both wanting to
breastfeed and I've never done that before, both of them a little batteries they
(02:57):
are in, they're hot. Yeah, that's been the tough part. But
other than that, you know,I do think she's looking at you like,
what what else you got to say? Say something? I think,
um, you know, like we'renow getting back into things like the podcast
and all of that, and somany people reach out that are also parents,
(03:23):
also interested in having kids that Ithink all these adjustments, especially for
the work we do, they needto be they need to be shared and
documented. Definitely needs to be documented. Um yeah, it's not ideal bringing
your newborn to podcast recording at studiolevel quality. But what are we gonna
(03:51):
do? Yeah, we gotta workjust like everybody else because in this but
this is the politics of the show. In this god forsaking country, there
is no maternity leave or paternity truematernity and paternity leave where you actually get
paid or you're supplemented, is supportedby your government in your country to have
(04:14):
beautiful citizens of that country or youror your job. Yeah yeah, they
expect you to get right back toit right, and which also leads to
things like children needing to be onformula time of formula shortage because women can't
be there. Yeah, we can'tpomp pom can't breastfeed, right, Yeah,
(04:36):
so we're very privileged to work forourselves in all the many ways that
we do. But to be ableto do that, you know, to
be an entrepreneur in this day andage, you have to like you have
to keep going, like you haveto keep especially as content creators, like
we have to keep producing content.We're also very I mean, so it's
(04:57):
like a privilege, but there's there'sa lot of work that goes with upholding
that. I was talking about thatwith one of our daughters the other day
and she was talking about not wantingto work for a company, and she's
interested in computers and things like that. I was like, you know,
there's a lot of shit you cando with computers, be freelancer and all
(05:18):
kinds of stuff like that. Butno, for a company, you might
work nine to five. Right,If you work for yourself, it's twenty
four seven, you know, Likeyou go to sleep working, you wake
up working, and yeah, youmight not have to answer to somebody else,
but you got to put in alot of work to do. So,
oh my gosh, Answering to yourselfis the worst. Just like you
(05:41):
can't lie, can't you know,excuse you can't put it off to tomorrow.
So this is why I was like, no, it's not standing with
you, motherfucking self. What areyou talking about? Yeah, so,
you know, being I want toto talk about obviously, just like parentsing
in general, because I think sometimespeople think that our life as parents,
(06:05):
either because we work for ourselves wework from home, or the type of
work we do is so different thantheir experience, and in most ways it's
not. But then I also wantto talk about the ways that it is.
And so we got like a bunchof questions that we that our wonderful
producer Orlando pulled from the field forus to get into. But for those
(06:27):
who perhaps I don't know how youcannot know because we are so open and
sharing our family. We have fourchildren, a twenty one year old daughter
and a going to be eighteen bythe time this is released, an eighteen
year old daughter and a four yearold son, and a one month old
(06:48):
new daughter. Yeah, and Iknow that's a crazy range, brand new
and we're just slightly under thirty naum, And I mean it's that that's
been kind of cool to the experienceof being a young parent. And then
(07:08):
now the experience of being a morewhat do the doctor called a season parents?
Season? Season? I mean that'sa compliment because nobody like unseasoned anything.
Um, and it comes with it'sit's pros and it's it's cons.
I think things like, you know, I could handle sleepless nights a lot
easier as a younger person, butas an older person, I can adjust
(07:30):
my schedule accordingly to where my daystarts at eleven, So you know though,
that's cool. Um, what aresome like, what are some things
I know that your parenting journey starteda little bit later, um, about
eight years later than mine, giveor take. But what are some things
(07:50):
that you find are different now thatyou are a seasoned parent versus just jumping
in the game. Oh man,when you when you first, when your
first a parent, you kind ofhave all those things that you were your
whole life. I'm gonna be thistype of dad, I'm gonna be this
type of fall or whatever, andyou realize none of that shut me nothing
(08:13):
to this new individual. They likenope, you know. So it's kind
of like, you know, yourealize that all of your children are their
own individual people. Um. Thispast Father's Day, I did alive and
someone asked me, like, what'sthe most important like gem you have received
(08:39):
as a father? And that's reallyit. It's like I can guide you,
but I can't walk that path foryou, you know what I'm saying,
So you can try and share allthe knowledge you have accumulated over this
time or whatever. They can theynot They might not be listening right,
or they might have soaked it allup but not in the way you wanted
them to, or they don't applyit the way you want to. So
(09:00):
I think it's like now that I'mI'm older, and I can't say I
still don't hold onto some of that, Like I still there's still things that
I want for my children. Nowthat's never gonna change, But I do
think I'm more I'm more open toLike one, You're gonna learn a whole
lot from your kids, not justabout them, but about yourself, about
(09:20):
the world around you. So it'skind of like, yeah, I'm the
father. I mean, I'm hereto you know, try to protect you,
make sure your life is as goodas possible. But at the same
time, I'm not the only teacherhere. Yes, Yeah, that was
such a relief to learn honestly,and you know, to rely on other
(09:43):
people to support you and and alsorely on that child to find like,
what's your best learning style? Whodo you learn well from? How do
you learn? If it's not me? Can you? Can you? Um?
How do you say it? Canyou assure me that you will learn
it from somewhere? You know?And I think I learned that with our
second daughter. I just I wasnot her best teacher. And finally when
(10:07):
I sort of like accepted that,that's like we just had like a much
easier flowing relationship. And I'm talkingabout having an easy flowing relationship with a
six year old who is you know, it turned out to be a great
a great job. We don't getin her way of learning. Um.
(10:28):
But yeah, so wait a minutenow you mentioned Father's Day. Now you
know what, the kids not gonnalet you live down. I got,
I got the best gift for fathers. You really did, Like my kids
did the ultimate flex this year.I mean they shoot it on Mother's Day
with your Father's Day. I wantthat on record. I got a billboard
(10:52):
that's said I'm the best dad.One one in Tampa and one um in
Jersey. About bout the Jersey Turnpikeand shit like, yeah, that's the
Hudson County all day two, ohone, what's up back home? So
like and leading up just like youhave to be It's like one of those
(11:13):
digital digital jones whatever. It's likeyou have to be at a specific spot
at this time where the kids aregonna cry. Yes, So I had
to make sure with my um insomniathat I would get to this specific spot
by in Tampa to see like asit changed over and yo that that was
(11:35):
so nice there, like the worldneeds to know. I know that that
was moving. And I think yourarely get those moments in Parado where you're
just like all the shit I did. Yeah, yeah, thank you for
that billboard like that was that wasawesome. That was like the best,
the best gift ever right there.They're good kids, they are. And
(12:00):
and I think my journey as asa as a young person and with my
mother being raised by my mother andmy grandmother, and at a certain point
my mom's had to kind of belike like this with me, you know,
um. And I think that thejourney I had to take to become
(12:20):
the man that I am helps mewith the kids in the sense of like
you know, like with you,you did all the things you're supposed to
do, you know what I'm saying, Like high school college, Wait,
I said you did. I didn'tsay you were doing all the things that
you're supposed to do. But I'msaying, but like educationally and like plus
(12:41):
getting all all the degrees and allthat kind of stuff, and I didn't
take that route. And I feellike, you know, and there's been
times with not even just my ownkids, but like nieces, nephew kids
all that, Like I've been ableto talk to the kids in a different
kind of way because it's like,yo, I didn't do it this way,
but I had to learn some thingsin some very very tough way,
(13:07):
right, or there are alternatives,but I wish that when I was working
my alternative path, I also didX, Y and Z to back me
up. And you have the opportunityto do the shit that's going to back
you up, right, you knowwhat I'm saying. So I think that
together as a parental unit, wecome we have two kind of different angles
(13:28):
that that's super helpful for them.I know for me, Um, watching
my sisters take some of those alternativeroutes was very helpful. I was just
like, that seems like a hardOh you're not getting a lot of support
in that decision. So it did. And I see that with um,
at least with our two older ones, where they really are like learning from
(13:52):
you know, the older one haslearned from from she grew up, sort
of like watching me grow up.And then you see the second one,
you know, And I think it'sreally cool. Our kids are close even
though they have a large age mgap, but they're still like influencing each
other. And I see them beinga close unit all the way through.
So we can kind of cruise likein our late fifties, we can kind
(14:18):
of check out a little bit.So let's, um, let's get into
a little bit more about our professionand how really porn and parenting that brand
came to be Our Daughters Do Dope, Daughters of Porn Entertainers and really celebrate
our family. Um, that didsound kind of wild, Our Daughters Do
Dope. That's why you gotta listento the podcast all the way through because
(14:41):
you want to leave a misinformation Daughtersof Porn Entertainers because people always ask us,
like, what do you think it'sgoing to happen with get well,
ask them. They're old enough totalk about it now. And they're having
such a unique experience where many familiesin our industry are so stigmatized that they
(15:01):
don't have a voice. You know. It's like our kids can get up
and say if they want to.You know, our parents are entertainers in
the adult industry, and this isour experience. But many people have had
to lie about what their families do, or have their own shame about what
their families do, or just kindof shut that part of their experience.
Parents the same too, where theydon't share that they have children and our
(15:26):
bold fashion as well as our familiesbold fashioned, we've chosen to share all
aspects of our lives. Yeah,which is really cool scary too, Yeah.
I think the interesting thing is likepeople think that they're supposed to be
some sort of shame that our childrenare supposed to feel because of our profession.
In a way, that's that's notit, no what I'm saying,
(15:48):
Like I would understand like if yourparents handle evictions and throw cancer patients and
grandparents out of their homes for aliving, you should be ashamed of your
parents, not of yourself, unlessyou think that that's okay, then you
should be ashamed of yourself to achild. But you know, I do
think how it came to be wasso many times when people did find out
(16:11):
that we have kids, then thatled to one question after another, And
those questions that people ask usually revealsa lot about themselves and how they themselves
feel about sex, their own sexuality, their own watching of porn. Because
a lot of this ship would happenedWe'd be at something like exotica or some
kind of convention or something, andpeople would after we've given a lecture about
(16:34):
something completely different, they're running downall these other questions like okay, well
we should address that, And alot of times it really has to do
with how people were raised around whatthey feel about sex. So that's how
we started with poorn and parenting sexpositive parenting, because if you're raised the
(16:56):
proper way to understand that sex isnot a bad thing, it's not a
terrible thing, there are places andtimes for it, you know, you
grow up with less shame attached toit, and then you're not going to
try to place that shame on somebodyelse's kids. That is that has been
a really important part to me aboutthe brand is that while we may take
(17:18):
some hits about being so open andleave ourselves and our families vulnerable, it
is a sacrifice that I'm willing tobe vulnerable in this way because I do
believe that the more people see familieslike hours, the more they can sort
of have an understanding of like,oh that this is a human on the
(17:40):
other side of this cam or whateverkind of sex work you engage with this
is, you know, or thischild can grow up to be just fine.
Like I don't need to call Departmentof Children and Families because this family
is in the adult industry, becauseI now have a model of a family
that functions quite well. We functionreally well, meeting each other's needs,
(18:06):
were we're not causing trouble for otherpeople, you know. So I will
say it's like this, you know. Number one, you know, other
than a podcast, you know whatI'm saying, anything that we do on
set, our kids aren't there.It's not a place for children, you
know. It's like any kind ofjob that is an adult job. Number
one, keep your kids away fromthat shit, you know, I think
(18:29):
I think that. And then alsothe sense of a lot of parents,
a lot of people give their kidsway more credit than they deserve. Your
kids don't give a fuck what youdo. They really do not. They're
like, are you feeding me?Are you clothing me? Are you playing?
Paying for my toys? Games orwhatever your kid enjoys, But they
(18:49):
don't care about the ins and outsof what you do at the office.
They don't give a shit. Theyreally don't. And it's not to say
your kids are assholes or anything likethat, but it is like, you
know, when you're seven, oreven when you're like sixteen, you really
most children don't fully understand what theirparents go through in order to keep a
(19:11):
roof over their heads and food intheir stomachs until they have to be for
themselves and then they're like, wow, my parents really love me. They
really went above and beyond to makesure I live the good life, you
know. So I think that's numberone. Number two is we also make
sure that we don't speak inappropriately,like everything is age appropriate to our case.
(19:37):
Like when they ask what we dofor a living could be entertaining,
It could be you know, recordinga podcast. These are things that we
do for our living, so youknow, it doesn't doesn't have to get
into detail. And we also don'thave to lie to our children. I
think that is also important. Peoplehave a hard time understanding, like,
(19:57):
well, how do you you havean age appropriate conversation about working in the
adult industry with like at the time, like a twelve year old. You
know, it's that I, Um, you know, I I am in
the adult entertainment industry, but thekeyword as adult, so you'll never see
any of my work. And youknow, it's like, oh okay,
(20:18):
Like she knew enough to know thatthat was material that she wasn't interested in
and that we didn't need to gointo the details of it with our older
child. You know, when shebecame when she became of age, then
there were there was more the dialoguebroadened up to things that were appropriate to
(20:41):
talk about. And usually it stillwasn't about our work. It was about
her own sexual exploration or things thatshe heard and wanted a better understanding of.
And she knew she could ask usthose things because she knew a little
bit more information about the type ofwork that we did. So I'm go
to some of the questions that comeup and um and see where it takes
(21:03):
us. All right, So,um, how do our parents feel about
our profession. Oh I like this, yes, yeah sure. UM,
I have like a very like amilitary type policy, don't have don't tell.
So. Um my my parent issecond okay. UM my my parent
(21:33):
is my mother and um she's whoraised me and she is my my UM
still very very much in my lifeand in my children's life, our day
to day life, and she knowswhat I do, but um, she
also doesn't want to know the details. And she also just wants to know
how the hell are we going tomake enough money for her to enjoy her
(21:53):
life. She um and super supportivewith out making herself uncomfortable or making me
uncomfortable with discussing the details, andlike that's cool, it works for us.
Um. I may share with herpictures that I think are appropriate.
Um yeah yeah, stuff like thatthat's like sexy, um, or that
(22:21):
is artistic, and she'll still saylike, oh, you know, you
don't have enough clothes, and I'llbe like, oh wait till you see
the rest of them, and she'lljust be like that's it, and you
know, we'll kind of laugh itoff. Um. The most in depth
conversation that we've really had was measking her what was the Filipino name for
(22:42):
specifically a submissive. For some reason, I needed to know that particular information,
and she was able to share withme like like that there is you
know, like there was there's aparticular name for it, and that there
was someone in our family who usedto have like a relationship like that.
Yeah, And that was the endof the conversation. And I was like,
(23:03):
oh, because that's pretty much likewhat I do for work, you
know. And she was just like, oh, okay, you know,
so about that money, run memy check. How about for you?
My mother is she wants to writelike sex novels, Like asking like what
(23:26):
was she saying that that we needto She was saying like you guys should
read, um, you can makemoney reading like sexy novels or something like
that. When she found out wewas coming to do the podcast. Yeah,
you know, my mother actually iswell she always will be to me.
But her job she was a healtha health professor and health activist.
(23:48):
So my mother used to teach nurseshow to teach sex education in Jersey and
the schools, so she did that, you know. She also worked with
different front um community programs in Jerseyand New York for you know, like
raising AIDS awareness or like outreach toget people uh condoms and all kinds of
(24:11):
shit like that. So she's likesuper comfortable. She had, you know,
those important conversations with me when Iwas young about protection and things like
that, so she'd be having jokes. The funniest shit ever was, Um,
I was shooting somewhere and they forgot, like they lost all my bags.
So I was calling she like,you know, just letting her know
(24:33):
I landed, and I was like, yeah, they lost on my bag.
She's like, a good thing.You don't need clothes for your job,
you know what I'm saying. It'slike, damn, she did any
opportunity. So it's like going,I'm going to work, I'm going to
LA or I'm going to Vegas todo some work. She's are you shooting
videos or you're beating on people?That's what it was. There were two
(24:56):
situations that we did this exact samething, but our response and reaction to
it were completely different. There wasone time you were on set and you
were sending me a BTS photo andyou accidentally sent it in our group message.
Maybe it was our group message.No, I accidentally sent it to
my mom. Oh, so youmust have sent me a screenshot or something.
(25:18):
Yeah, I sent you a screenshot, Like, oh my god.
Yeah, because also see that mymother also is visually impaired, so you
know, trying to get her todo the details of deleting a picture or
or a conversation, it's like virtuallyimpossible. So I'm just like I called
it, like, yo, justdon't open messages from me until I get
(25:38):
home. And I was like,oh man, the first she was so
cool about it. That was shewas like she was cracking jokes. She
was so cool about Now. Idid the same thing. I sent the
screenshot of I think our website orI sent a link to our web site.
(26:00):
Yes, accidentally to my mom.Thank god. The kids were over
there, the teenagers at the time, and I told the one that is
the fastest on her feet, gether phone right now and delete it.
Get it. Get it. She'slike, how am I supposed to get
her fall. I was like,do whatever you need to do, but
get it, get it now.She thought she had jokes, but you
(26:26):
know, our daughter had jokes,and thankfully my mom did not. Wow,
that's funny. But yeah, soour parents know and they are supportive
in their own in their own ways. All right. So here's another one,
Um, how did how do wefeel about having kids prior to being
in the in the profession, havingkids to be how do we feel about
(26:52):
having kids prior to I mean,I've I've wanted to be your father longer
than I've wanted to be anything elsebecause my father's real shitty. So I
was like, I need to dothis, to do this right for somebody,
you know what I'm saying. Soum, you know, even even
before I was in the profession,I was like, you know, one
(27:14):
day, I want to have afamily. And even when I started and
I started being important when I waseighteen, you know what I'm saying.
So it was never something that forme that I was just like, nah,
i'm gonna I'm gonna put that onthe back burner. It's just more
like the right person, you knowwhat I'm saying, and it'll happen.
(27:36):
And it did. Yeah. Well, I got into the industry, like
professionally, professionally after I had kidsalready, so um, and unlike you,
I didn't really have plans of beinga family like I actually was running
from that, like so so bad. I did not, um, I
didn't think that I wanted children,or at least on as early as I
(28:00):
did. I thought maybe that mightbe something later later on. So that
was a part of it. DidI don't want to say it like it
did weigh in on entering the industry, but not like am I going to
do it or not? More alongthe lines of like how am I going
to do it? Because the kidshave never you know, they always are
(28:22):
of consideration in any decision that Imade, but they're not the deciding factor.
I think that's important for parents ofany professional walk of life or in
anything, because I see a lotof people who blame their kids for all
types of shit that ain't got nothingto do with their kids. Like,
that's your decisions, Yeah, that'snot your kids who made that decision for
(28:42):
you. You really wanted to ornot didn't want to do that thing.
You would have made the right combinationof moves to make sure that shit did
or didn't happen. Absolutely, Yeah, And I don't think that it's I
don't think it's fair to yourself,but it certainly isn't fair to your children
to say that your you know,your outcome in life was because of them
(29:04):
before or you know, absolutely UM, and I didn't. I knew that
I wanted to try this out.I knew I wanted to have like this
other side of me UM be actualized. But I didn't want to hurt my
children. I didn't want to hindermyself. So it was more along the
lines of like, well, howcan I do this in a way?
(29:25):
And I chose the honest route,you know, and the slow and steady
route too, so let's see,Okay, I love this one. The
joy that we had this conversation actuallyum a night or two ago, somewhat
somewhat the joys and difficulties at leastof having children, but the joys and
difficulties of having children, even ifporn wasn't the profession. I mean,
(29:48):
I think the joy is truly likejust watching somebody grow into a into their
own into their own self. Andyou know, there's difficulties in growth,
you know what I'm saying, growingpains for a reason, But you know,
(30:12):
seeing someone actualize a dream or Idon't know, it doesn't even have
to be like the biggest dream inthe world, but like just for for
a four year old, we tookhim to dinosaur World, right, and
he is completely obsessed with dinosaurs,but like to take him there and like
he's pointing the dinosaurs out to us, like that's a raptor. He eats
(30:36):
meat, that's spinosaurus. That's likedinosaurs. I don't know this one dinosaur
he said, I don't even rememberthe name, but he knew the name.
And I was just like, oh, man, like watching watching them
just pulling information and then apply thatshit into their world is it's like fascinat
(30:56):
It's fascinating the wad. I lovedit. I think, um one of
the that definitely is it is thejoy and it's such an honor right to
like to be a part of that. Um. I think there's also a
lot of joy in watching yourself growwhere you know, like like I didn't
have sort of the same trajectory onlife, like I'm gonna be a great
(31:18):
mom, I'm gonna be this kindof um mom. But then his mom
was like, oh my gosh,like I did that not just like having
them, but like I really wrotethat out with you or like we got
through high school, you know,like and there's a pride that, um,
I would I didn't understand that youknow that you can have in another
(31:40):
person's accomplishment until having a child,and and it's like really over small and
big things, you know that it'sjust like wow, like I I don't
know, like I breathed into that. You know. Um, the difficult
all of the ship is, allof it is difficult. It's all difficult,
(32:00):
regardless of the profession. I mean, she's like waking up at night
and changing somebody shooting die, butlike, this is difficult. It's hard
to discipline yourself to put someone beforeyou at all times, at all costs.
Um. It's difficult to juggle themany things that that we want to
do in life. You know,like how we were talking about like an
(32:21):
upcoming tour and we're like, oh, that would be great, and then
we'll go there, and then we'llgo there and we'll do this, and
then we're like okay, like howdo we do this with like two car
seats and you know, three differentpersonalities? That part feels that is difficult.
And I don't I wouldn't change thedifficult aspects for the joy. Yeah,
(32:42):
um, but I don't think thatit's I think sometimes people can have
unrealistic expectations around like how difficult thatis? Yeah, I also think you
know, joy isn't a constant,the constant, you wouldn't even really appreciate
that, right, you know.And difficulties aren't the constant either, so
it makes you appreciate those for whatthey are as well. And I think
(33:06):
the difficult thing for me is difficultthing for me is it's like, um,
you know, you just you wantthe best for them. So it's
like I don't want you to makethis mistake. I know you're about to
make this mistake. Why are youmaking this fucking mistake right now? And
(33:29):
it's like you want to, youwant to jump in, but you also
know, like for their overall growthand down the line, they have to
experience some of those falls and pitfallsto know how to brush themselves off and
keep it moving. So it's likewhen do I step in? Or do
I step in? Do I notstep in? Like how do I let
(33:50):
them know that I'm here if theyneed me to step in? Like?
Those are those are the parts that'sdifficult because it's like, yo, I'm
not talking about like falling off bikeand scrape in your knee. I'm talking
about like a mistake that your kickwould make that You're like, Yo,
this is gonna affect you down theline by this shit. It's for real,
you know, those are like thosekind of things, those are those
(34:13):
are the ones word like to me, it's really difficult where it's like,
God, let them do it,you gotta do it, just let it
happen. You'd be like, youwant to jump in and take the take
the bullet for them at all times, and you can't because it's gonna be
a day that I'm not here orthat I might not be able to get
(34:36):
to them as fast as I needto. And they got to be able
to handle themselves in that moment orthroughout the rest of their life on their
own. That was a heavy askquestion right there. How does that pertain
to? And I'm gonna put thesetwo together because I think the joys and
difficulties of having children, specifically asa porn performer, but this this sort
(34:57):
of merges that together. How hassex work, the professional sex work,
changed our parenting style? And soI'll jump jump right into this one.
I think I have gotten so criticalof my parenting style because I'm in the
industry, because of how other peoplejudge people that are in the industry.
(35:22):
So now, granted, I thinksome I think that our parenting style is
better. Like I think being criticalof yourself as a as a parent is
important, and I think that youshould, you know, be checking yourself
and are you doing you know,you know, you don't want to be
screaming on your kids if you couldavoid screaming on your kids at any point
(35:43):
in time. But I think there'san added layer of like, I want
to raise my voice right now,but I have to be mindful because someone
thinks I'm an unfit parent already.And now this any little thing is sort
of just like being black ah whenyou like, I want to go in
that store, but let me justgo ahead and lead this book back in
(36:05):
the car, because somebody already thinkI'm a damn thief and I don't have
no intentions without stealing nothing. Butand so you know, for us,
it's like a joke or you know, not even something that as serious is
like raising you or not even serious, but something like raising your voys or
like a particular joke or like whatare we talking about on the podcast today?
(36:28):
You know, would anybody think thatit's totally inappropriate for us to have
this conversation in front of a childthat we know does not understand anything that
we are saying. You know whatI mean, what kind of you know?
Anyone should be able to have sextoys in their home right because it's
an adult toy. It's it's notillegal to have that. But as a
performer, how could this be construedin a way that could potentially harm,
(36:52):
like, you know, the flowof my household? And we have had
colleagues that have had their children takenaway, or have been threatened to have
their children taken away, or hadtraumatic experiences where their parenting style was called
into question, not because of theirparenting style, but because of their profession.
(37:15):
And I don't ever want us tobe in anything close to that situation.
So I do think I can beoverly critical of like our environment,
how we parent, what I say, what I don't say, who I
share certain things with, you know, all that kind of stuff that's real.
(37:36):
I think for me, being thatI was in the profession already before
I have, I feel like,between this and my music career, come
into contact with not all, butmost types of humans, you know what
I'm saying. So it's like,you know, no matter what kind of
(38:00):
children I was gonna have. Ifeel like I would have some kind of
understanding on just not so much whatmake them take, but what who they
are in a sense, you know, and not that we see all the
time in adults, in what wesee in kids, but like there is
(38:25):
the that growth that's there. SoI think like in that it's it's made
me more understanding of humanity. Ithink that's the best way to put it,
Like more understanding of humanity and moreunderstanding of just people and what motivates
them and what moves them and thingslike that. So whether it's whatever I
(38:46):
need to share with my kids,like oh, this is the kind of
person you coming in contact with,Well this person moves this way or you
know that. And then also I'vejust always been working in some shape form
of fashion, So it's like notthat they need to go into my profession,
but I understand that there's a wayto make a living in anything that
(39:14):
you can imagine. Yeah, youknow what I'm saying. So like I
don't know, like going back toour son, like you you love dinosaurs,
where there's a million ways you canyou can make money. You don't
particularly have to go to school tobe a paleontologist. You can I don't
know, make fucking tiktoks with dinosaurtoys and some shit, you know what
I mean. Like, there's somany ways, And I think that because
(39:36):
of our profession, and our professiondoes force you to think of so many
different different avenues for revenue streams thatyou can apply that to other professions as
well. So I think that thatalways comes into play with like, oh,
yeah, you could do that shit, Like who would have thought I
(39:57):
would do what I do for aliving? Like come on, like you
could do that shit. I definitelythink that, Um, I have seen
a total shift in myself in thatway because of the people that we've met
in the industry and the people thatthat we've become in the industry. That
ways. I definitely started off parentingat like you need to do this the
(40:21):
same way, the same route thatI took, um, because you need
these things to fall back on.You need this, you know. And
now I feel a lot more likeyou, like there are so many ways
and like you got like you gotyou to fall back on, you know,
Like so um yeah, that's definitelya positive of huge positive aspect.
(40:42):
And then also just like the opennesslike meeting being able to meet so many
people in this industry that are incredible, that are really wonderful, you know,
and and have such varied lifestyles andinteresting ways in which they've come to
being the wonderful person that they are. UM has really allowed allowed my has
(41:05):
allowed me to really envision that forour children. Just like, are you
a good person? Are you niceto people? Do you show up to
work clean and ready to go likeben awesome? I don't. Yeah,
I don't. I don't. Idon't really care how many years of school
you've put in, or what respectabilitypolitics, or you know, if you
have read all of these particular booksto show up in the world in a
(41:29):
particular way. Are you a goodperson? Are you nice to work with?
Work? Yeah? It's pretty goodstandards. They're heart standards to me
though, UM let's see what elsewe yat here. I love these questions.
They're great benefits of finding a partnerthat is in the same profession.
(41:50):
So as long as I've been inthis profession, I've been with you.
UM, when I've dipped, dippedand dabbled, I have definitely had Like
when I dance said club somebody thatwas like all for the money, but
not for the show. Um.And then I definitely have been with a
partner that did not want me tospeak about that past. It was like
(42:14):
something you did, and I knewthat I couldn't revisit it if I wanted
to. So that I think itmakes all the difference in the world to
have a partner that's in the sameprofession for me, absolutely, because then
you're able to be your full self. Yeah, you know, I've had
relationships where, you know, peoplewere the same kind of thing, like
(42:37):
money's good or whatever. They enjoythe fruit to the label, but not
I want to know them. SoI think that. And then also,
you know, people carry their ownshame, so like I have, you
know, like there was a timewhen when I had taken a break from
from adult entertainment and I was doinglike a different kind of gig or whatever,
(43:00):
and even like with the music shit, you know, where it's like
people just like that's what you do. And then if you want to talk
about the other shit had uncomfortable,you know, and it's just like,
well, now you're trying to cutoff a part of mine of who I
am. So it makes it itmakes it easier. And then also,
when somebody's in the industry that you'rein, they understand someone what you deal
(43:24):
with, you know, And Ithink that would go for anything. You
know. If we were both investmentbankers and I was like, Yo,
this investment banking is stressing me out, you'd be able to say, hey,
well, you know, break yourshit down, you know. And
I think it's it's like that withwith our profession because we're able to provide
even if we're not working on thesame project together, we're able to provide
(43:45):
each other with some ideas to maybemake that that shit more more, more,
stream better, better. And thenif you want to talk about the
other shit at uncomfortable, you know, and it's just like, well,
now you're trying to cut off apart of mine, yea of who I
am. So it makes it,it makes it easier. And then also
(44:07):
when somebody's in the industry that you'rein, they understand someone what you deal
with, you know, And Ithink that would go for anything. You
know. If we were both investmentbankers and I was like, Yo,
this investment banking is stressing me out, you'd be able to say, hey,
well, you know, break yourshit down, you know, And
I think it's it's like that withwith our profession, because we're able to
(44:29):
provide even if we're not working onthe same project together, we're able to
provide each other with some ideas tomaybe make that that shit more, more,
more stream better, better way afetish Let's starts wants you to know
(44:51):
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(45:12):
Visit our website at lust arts dotcom. That's lust a arts dot com.
Do you think that, I mean, you had a very open,
open childhood at least with your mombeing able to learn about sex and to
talk about sex, and I hadthe complete opposite. But do you think
(45:32):
that for our children that there areany more understanding about sex than perhaps,
like just kind of thinking about youand or kids from your generation based on
I think so for sure, theirexperience as children of entertainments, I think
(45:53):
that not only because of the entertainmentaspect and the profession that we're in,
but also the kind of people thatwe are. We're very much like you
can talk to me about anything.You can ask me any kind of question,
and if I can't answer it,I can at least point you in
the direction to get the information ortalk to somebody who can answer your question.
(46:15):
So I think on that level,they're definitely But I will say this,
with one of our kids, justthe nature of how she is,
she's uncomfortable talking about sex period,you know what I'm saying. And I
don't know if that is because ofwhat we do or just because you know,
that's just kind of how she is. And I think that you know,
(46:37):
you would be able to answer thata little bit better. But I
think that in that sense, likewe're not going to shy away from certain
things that I think other people mightshy away from having conversations with their kids.
Yeah, I mean, I thinkthat's important that there isn't an assumption
that like you have to be acertain type you have, that you have
(47:00):
to be a certain type of comfortableabout sex to raise children that are comfortable,
you know, I think exactly whatyou said in terms of like sex
is one topic, you know,one aspect of our lives, and just
like our work is one aspect ofour lives. It's okay, it's okay,
(47:22):
you can talk to us about anything, but just not now, okay.
I think that it is that peopledo kind of put sex as this
sort of so much weight on it, and I would hope that regardless of
what kind of work we did,that we would be able to have the
(47:45):
fluid and comfortable conversations around sex.I think that our kids, knowing how
how free we are about our ownsex does allow them to be more comfortable
just by you know, it's sortof like like you said about anything.
(48:06):
I mean, I guess if youknow, we were really interested in what
we are, but like we wereif our work was about travel, they
would be that much more exposed tothe world of traveler that being a possibility
for them. I think that oursecond child is so much more open than
(48:27):
she was and so sort of likewatching her pace her pace herself to being
comfortable at her own pace, husband, And part of that is like us
not throwing our profession or like we'recomfortable, so you should be comfortable.
We're not like that, and soit happening at her own pace. It
feels so like it feels nice,you know, that's like, Okay,
(48:52):
we're not rushing her, but shehas heard the gems that we've dropped over
the years, and I feel reallyconfident that she will be comfortable to assert
herself in her relationships and also thatshe won't be rushed or peer pressured into
two things that she's not comfortable with. So now, I think with any
(49:15):
profession, you don't particularly expect yourkid to do what it is you do
right, and you hope that thethings that benefit them from your work is
for them to be provided with opportunitiesthat maybe you didn't have when you were
young. And that could just befrom the sense of like knowing that it
(49:37):
is okay to be whoever you wantto be right, you do not have
to be like our oldest is verymonogamous. We're like, oh, you're
insulting us because you're not poly rightor something like that. You know,
it's no. We accept you forwho you are, want you to be
(49:59):
free to be who you are,you know what I'm saying, and explore
whatever it is you want to exploreas long as you're knowledgeable and safe and
to me, you know, thatmakes me even more comfortable in her decisions,
like you said, like I mean, we don't get we don't have
control over those decisions, but wecertainly can feel challenged by them. But
it makes me feel comfortable because shehas different models to be able to say
(50:22):
like, no, no, Ireally am very much monogamous. And it's
not because I don't know what elseexists. It doesn't. It's not because
I've been socialized to be a particularway. I see your example, I
see Auntie so and So's example,I see the people that you know that
I've met over the years. ButI'm this way, and I think that,
(50:43):
like you know, the same forour children in there, in terms
of sexuality, their sexual orientation,their gender identity, they have been able
to see different models of that,whether through our discussion about people that we've
met, that we've worked with,we've been through people's transition at work where
(51:04):
um they've been friends of like considerthem family friends, and so our kids
are able to see like this isan option. Um. So I do
think our work has brought in thesame way as brought in our perspective of
types of people that we've come andencountered lifestyles. It has also brought in
(51:24):
those opportunities for them to have likechoices and they see how open we are
to people and their choices where we'renot um. I think one of the
ways that also helps them be moreopen about sex, sexuality, gender identity,
and orientation is they don't have thebarrier of judgment in their face of
(51:45):
their parents, like what are myparents? Kind of things like you already
know what we think? Yeah,did you do dishes? And I think
that is like the most important thingyou can do as a parent, no
matter what. It's beautiful. So, okay, this one more. And
(52:05):
I know why this may seem,especially in the day of the of the
pandemic working from home, why thisquestion may come up about the separation that
we have between sex work and family. You know, this was one of
the ways that we had to reallylike, oh shit, like we have
to work from home. How dowe how do we work or how do
(52:29):
we not work from home? Butdo it safely? During this time and
so you know, we watched lotsof families that weren't in sex work struggle
with having that separation between work andfamily, but so specifically with sex work
because it is adult work. Andso the question is how much separation do
(52:52):
we have between sex work and families? Yeah, yeah, no, I
mean I think, you know,times when we had to during the pandemic
send the kids to your mother's andthings of that nature, but also going
(53:13):
and working on the road and beingaway and when it's time to be home,
then it's time to be home anddeal with the family stuff that we
do there when when we're there,you know, I think it's not really
one of those things that you know, not like sitting there editing, hanging
out with the kids because they willbe completely inappropriate, you know. So
(53:37):
it's definitely one of those things whereit's like only can happen within its time.
It's one of those kind of professions. So for me that that was
good because then it's just like Iedit when I can edit, but this
other time, now family's up incomplete family mode. Yeah. I definitely
allows us to shut work off.It forces us to shut work off.
(54:00):
And then also when it is timeto work, we are very much focused
on our work and it's looking likeroyal, It's like it is time to
make that step. Now, tellthe people where to find you. You
(54:21):
can find us on Instagram, RoyalFetish Radio, Sex Positive Parenting, Sex
Positive Parenting. You can find uson Spotify. You used to be able
to find us on Shopify and thenwe got kicked. How do you get
kicked off of Shopify? That's anotherepisode you need to talk about censorship.
(54:44):
You can find us on Twitter.Royal Fat Radio. Oh you remember that
one. That was the one Iwas. I was searching my member.
Now we just have a really greatproducer that it's feeding me lines. Actually
the whole all my answers are theretrompted. Yes, I want to mess
with your ship like Ron Burgundy nexttime. But everywhere you listen to podcast,
all of them places well, yo, definitely check out Royal Fetish x
(55:10):
x X dot com, King ofar x x x dot com and the
fans and all them good spots aswell. I'm supposed to look in the
camera even time, but I waszoning out. I was like getting the
groove. I was about to dothat shit that the singers doing. They
be holding their ear and ship.I was in a moment. Hold on,
Mariah, I'm about to break glassin this way, I'm the skinny
(55:31):
legend around here, but Joe definitelykeep rocking with US Royal fetish radio,
porn in politics. We have sexall around the clock. That's what Orlando
told me, No he did.We talk about sex and life and life
(55:52):
before and after dark. That's whatit's like to be your parent. You'd
be trying to have your moment andyour kid snatches it from you, right, A fetish
So it's cameo really like men's versionof cheetah print. I think so.
Yeah, it's like one of thosethings that you know, your move your
primal Yeah, like a hunt.Yeah, I'm on a hunt, or
I need to just blend in withrandom shit. It's funny because people and
(00:20):
cameo never blend in. Neither dowomen in Cheetah Leopard. There was that
that one camera that people was rockingfor a while that was red. I
was like, where are you gonnahide a fire? Just you're wearing the
red blue? What if the blueused to be there? That was like
swat gray? Yeah, but Ididn't understand where they was trying to hide
(00:43):
out at. But I do thinkyou know that that works with what we're
talking about today because we're talking aboutparenting and like, no, no,
there's a certain age where all womenwomen fade into if there are certain a
certain type of that's right phases intodaycheetah print, you know what I'm saying.
(01:03):
And then men of a certain age. We've probably been rocking camel forever,
but it just come out more.Yeah, we got like dad shorts
that are camouflaged, layers of camouflage. I sent you a picture today.
As a matter of fact, letme pull it out so it wasn't me
(01:25):
and I sent it in our familychat. Yes, yeah, that's put
it for the camera. We'll makesure head to toe head to tell chetlag.
And I don't even be knowing whatanimal it is. I don't care.
I just want you to know Iam fierce. Yeah, be afraid.
(01:45):
I'm not afraid to wear this.H So parenting Okay, here we
are with child number four, right, a fetish? How's it? How
are you adjusting? Everything? Ifeel like is adjusting well, except I
(02:09):
don't know. I guess for me, Like people always talk about losing sleep,
but I'm an insomniac. M Soit's like the times that I'm going
to sleep, it's usually like it'sperfect time and the change change the baby.
I am not an insomniac. Iam losing sleep. And it's not
(02:35):
actually like her being up crying oranything, as much as it is not
being comfortable because they both are likesandwiching me in this hot heater, mom
sandwich. Um, it's the positioningin the bed, then both wanting to
breastfeed and I've never done that before, both of them a little batteries they
(02:57):
are in, they're hot. Yeah, that's been the tough part. But
other than that, you know,I do think she's looking at you like,
what what else you got to say? Say something? I think,
um, you know, like we'renow getting back into things like the podcast
and all of that, and somany people reach out that are also parents,
(03:23):
also interested in having kids that Ithink all these adjustments, especially for
the work we do, they needto be they need to be shared and
documented. Definitely needs to be documented. Um yeah, it's not ideal bringing
your newborn to podcast recording at studiolevel quality. But what are we gonna
(03:51):
do? Yeah, we gotta workjust like everybody else because in this but
this is the politics of the show. In this god forsaking country, there
is no maternity leave or paternity truematernity and paternity leave where you actually get
paid or you're supplemented, is supportedby your government in your country to have
(04:14):
beautiful citizens of that country or youror your job. Yeah yeah, they
expect you to get right back toit right, and which also leads to
things like children needing to be onformula time of formula shortage because women can't
be there. Yeah, we can'tpomp pom can't breastfeed, right, Yeah,
(04:36):
so we're very privileged to work forourselves in all the many ways that
we do. But to be ableto do that, you know, to
be an entrepreneur in this day andage, you have to like you have
to keep going, like you haveto keep especially as content creators, like
we have to keep producing content.We're also very I mean, so it's
(04:57):
like a privilege, but there's there'sa lot of work that goes with upholding
that. I was talking about thatwith one of our daughters the other day
and she was talking about not wantingto work for a company, and she's
interested in computers and things like that. I was like, you know,
there's a lot of shit you cando with computers, be freelancer and all
(05:18):
kinds of stuff like that. Butno, for a company, you might
work nine to five. Right,If you work for yourself, it's twenty
four seven, you know, Likeyou go to sleep working, you wake
up working, and yeah, youmight not have to answer to somebody else,
but you got to put in alot of work to do. So,
oh my gosh, Answering to yourselfis the worst. Just like you
(05:41):
can't lie, can't you know,excuse you can't put it off to tomorrow.
So this is why I was like, no, it's not standing with
you, motherfucking self. What areyou talking about? Yeah, so,
you know, being I want toto talk about obviously, just like parentsing
in general, because I think sometimespeople think that our life as parents,
(06:05):
either because we work for ourselves wework from home, or the type of
work we do is so different thantheir experience, and in most ways it's
not. But then I also wantto talk about the ways that it is.
And so we got like a bunchof questions that we that our wonderful
producer Orlando pulled from the field forus to get into. But for those
(06:27):
who perhaps I don't know how youcannot know because we are so open and
sharing our family. We have fourchildren, a twenty one year old daughter
and a going to be eighteen bythe time this is released, an eighteen
year old daughter and a four yearold son, and a one month old
(06:48):
new daughter. Yeah, and Iknow that's a crazy range, brand new
and we're just slightly under thirty naum, And I mean it's that that's
been kind of cool to the experienceof being a young parent. And then
(07:08):
now the experience of being a morewhat do the doctor called a season parents?
Season? Season? I mean that'sa compliment because nobody like unseasoned anything.
Um, and it comes with it'sit's pros and it's it's cons.
I think things like, you know, I could handle sleepless nights a lot
easier as a younger person, butas an older person, I can adjust
(07:30):
my schedule accordingly to where my daystarts at eleven, So you know though,
that's cool. Um, what aresome like, what are some things
I know that your parenting journey starteda little bit later, um, about
eight years later than mine, giveor take. But what are some things
(07:50):
that you find are different now thatyou are a seasoned parent versus just jumping
in the game. Oh man,when you when you first, when your
first a parent, you kind ofhave all those things that you were your
whole life. I'm gonna be thistype of dad, I'm gonna be this
type of fall or whatever, andyou realize none of that shut me nothing
(08:13):
to this new individual. They likenope, you know. So it's kind
of like, you know, yourealize that all of your children are their
own individual people. Um. Thispast Father's Day, I did alive and
someone asked me, like, what'sthe most important like gem you have received
(08:39):
as a father? And that's reallyit. It's like I can guide you,
but I can't walk that path foryou, you know what I'm saying,
So you can try and share allthe knowledge you have accumulated over this
time or whatever. They can theynot They might not be listening right,
or they might have soaked it allup but not in the way you wanted
them to, or they don't applyit the way you want to. So
(09:00):
I think it's like now that I'mI'm older, and I can't say I
still don't hold onto some of that, Like I still there's still things that
I want for my children. Nowthat's never gonna change, But I do
think I'm more I'm more open toLike one, You're gonna learn a whole
lot from your kids, not justabout them, but about yourself, about
(09:20):
the world around you. So it'skind of like, yeah, I'm the
father. I mean, I'm hereto you know, try to protect you,
make sure your life is as goodas possible. But at the same
time, I'm not the only teacherhere. Yes, Yeah, that was
such a relief to learn honestly,and you know, to rely on other
(09:43):
people to support you and and alsorely on that child to find like,
what's your best learning style? Whodo you learn well from? How do
you learn? If it's not me? Can you? Can you? Um?
How do you say it? Canyou assure me that you will learn
it from somewhere? You know?And I think I learned that with our
second daughter. I just I wasnot her best teacher. And finally when
(10:07):
I sort of like accepted that,that's like we just had like a much
easier flowing relationship. And I'm talkingabout having an easy flowing relationship with a
six year old who is you know, it turned out to be a great
a great job. We don't getin her way of learning. Um.
(10:28):
But yeah, so wait a minutenow you mentioned Father's Day. Now you
know what, the kids not gonnalet you live down. I got,
I got the best gift for fathers. You really did, Like my kids
did the ultimate flex this year.I mean they shoot it on Mother's Day
with your Father's Day. I wantthat on record. I got a billboard
(10:52):
that's said I'm the best dad.One one in Tampa and one um in
Jersey. About bout the Jersey Turnpikeand shit like, yeah, that's the
Hudson County all day two, ohone, what's up back home? So
like and leading up just like youhave to be It's like one of those
(11:13):
digital digital jones whatever. It's likeyou have to be at a specific spot
at this time where the kids aregonna cry. Yes, So I had
to make sure with my um insomniathat I would get to this specific spot
by in Tampa to see like asit changed over and yo that that was
(11:35):
so nice there, like the worldneeds to know. I know that that
was moving. And I think yourarely get those moments in Parado where you're
just like all the shit I did. Yeah, yeah, thank you for
that billboard like that was that wasawesome. That was like the best,
the best gift ever right there.They're good kids, they are. And
(12:00):
and I think my journey as asa as a young person and with my
mother being raised by my mother andmy grandmother, and at a certain point
my mom's had to kind of belike like this with me, you know,
um. And I think that thejourney I had to take to become
(12:20):
the man that I am helps mewith the kids in the sense of like
you know, like with you,you did all the things you're supposed to
do, you know what I'm saying, Like high school college, Wait,
I said you did. I didn'tsay you were doing all the things that
you're supposed to do. But I'msaying, but like educationally and like plus
(12:41):
getting all all the degrees and allthat kind of stuff, and I didn't
take that route. And I feellike, you know, and there's been
times with not even just my ownkids, but like nieces, nephew kids
all that, Like I've been ableto talk to the kids in a different
kind of way because it's like,yo, I didn't do it this way,
but I had to learn some thingsin some very very tough way,
(13:07):
right, or there are alternatives,but I wish that when I was working
my alternative path, I also didX, Y and Z to back me
up. And you have the opportunityto do the shit that's going to back
you up, right, you knowwhat I'm saying. So I think that
together as a parental unit, wecome we have two kind of different angles
(13:28):
that that's super helpful for them.I know for me, Um, watching
my sisters take some of those alternativeroutes was very helpful. I was just
like, that seems like a hardOh you're not getting a lot of support
in that decision. So it did. And I see that with um,
at least with our two older ones, where they really are like learning from
(13:52):
you know, the older one haslearned from from she grew up, sort
of like watching me grow up.And then you see the second one,
you know, And I think it'sreally cool. Our kids are close even
though they have a large age mgap, but they're still like influencing each
other. And I see them beinga close unit all the way through.
So we can kind of cruise likein our late fifties, we can kind
(14:18):
of check out a little bit.So let's, um, let's get into
a little bit more about our professionand how really porn and parenting that brand
came to be Our Daughters Do Dope, Daughters of Porn Entertainers and really celebrate
our family. Um, that didsound kind of wild, Our Daughters Do
Dope. That's why you gotta listento the podcast all the way through because
(14:41):
you want to leave a misinformation Daughtersof Porn Entertainers because people always ask us,
like, what do you think it'sgoing to happen with get well,
ask them. They're old enough totalk about it now. And they're having
such a unique experience where many familiesin our industry are so stigmatized that they
(15:01):
don't have a voice. You know. It's like our kids can get up
and say if they want to.You know, our parents are entertainers in
the adult industry, and this isour experience. But many people have had
to lie about what their families do, or have their own shame about what
their families do, or just kindof shut that part of their experience.
Parents the same too, where theydon't share that they have children and our
(15:26):
bold fashion as well as our familiesbold fashioned, we've chosen to share all
aspects of our lives. Yeah,which is really cool scary too, Yeah.
I think the interesting thing is likepeople think that they're supposed to be
some sort of shame that our childrenare supposed to feel because of our profession.
In a way, that's that's notit, no what I'm saying,
(15:48):
Like I would understand like if yourparents handle evictions and throw cancer patients and
grandparents out of their homes for aliving, you should be ashamed of your
parents, not of yourself, unlessyou think that that's okay, then you
should be ashamed of yourself to achild. But you know, I do
think how it came to be wasso many times when people did find out
(16:11):
that we have kids, then thatled to one question after another, And
those questions that people ask usually revealsa lot about themselves and how they themselves
feel about sex, their own sexuality, their own watching of porn. Because
a lot of this ship would happenedWe'd be at something like exotica or some
kind of convention or something, andpeople would after we've given a lecture about
(16:34):
something completely different, they're running downall these other questions like okay, well
we should address that, And alot of times it really has to do
with how people were raised around whatthey feel about sex. So that's how
we started with poorn and parenting sexpositive parenting, because if you're raised the
(16:56):
proper way to understand that sex isnot a bad thing, it's not a
terrible thing, there are places andtimes for it, you know, you
grow up with less shame attached toit, and then you're not going to
try to place that shame on somebodyelse's kids. That is that has been
a really important part to me aboutthe brand is that while we may take
(17:18):
some hits about being so open andleave ourselves and our families vulnerable, it
is a sacrifice that I'm willing tobe vulnerable in this way because I do
believe that the more people see familieslike hours, the more they can sort
of have an understanding of like,oh that this is a human on the
(17:40):
other side of this cam or whateverkind of sex work you engage with this
is, you know, or thischild can grow up to be just fine.
Like I don't need to call Departmentof Children and Families because this family
is in the adult industry, becauseI now have a model of a family
that functions quite well. We functionreally well, meeting each other's needs,
(18:06):
were we're not causing trouble for otherpeople, you know. So I will
say it's like this, you know. Number one, you know, other
than a podcast, you know whatI'm saying, anything that we do on
set, our kids aren't there.It's not a place for children, you
know. It's like any kind ofjob that is an adult job. Number
one, keep your kids away fromthat shit, you know, I think
(18:29):
I think that. And then alsothe sense of a lot of parents,
a lot of people give their kidsway more credit than they deserve. Your
kids don't give a fuck what youdo. They really do not. They're
like, are you feeding me?Are you clothing me? Are you playing?
Paying for my toys? Games orwhatever your kid enjoys, But they
(18:49):
don't care about the ins and outsof what you do at the office.
They don't give a shit. Theyreally don't. And it's not to say
your kids are assholes or anything likethat, but it is like, you
know, when you're seven, oreven when you're like sixteen, you really
most children don't fully understand what theirparents go through in order to keep a
(19:11):
roof over their heads and food intheir stomachs until they have to be for
themselves and then they're like, wow, my parents really love me. They
really went above and beyond to makesure I live the good life, you
know. So I think that's numberone. Number two is we also make
sure that we don't speak inappropriately,like everything is age appropriate to our case.
(19:37):
Like when they ask what we dofor a living could be entertaining,
It could be you know, recordinga podcast. These are things that we
do for our living, so youknow, it doesn't doesn't have to get
into detail. And we also don'thave to lie to our children. I
think that is also important. Peoplehave a hard time understanding, like,
(19:57):
well, how do you you havean age appropriate conversation about working in the
adult industry with like at the time, like a twelve year old. You
know, it's that I, Um, you know, I I am in
the adult entertainment industry, but thekeyword as adult, so you'll never see
any of my work. And youknow, it's like, oh okay,
(20:18):
Like she knew enough to know thatthat was material that she wasn't interested in
and that we didn't need to gointo the details of it with our older
child. You know, when shebecame when she became of age, then
there were there was more the dialoguebroadened up to things that were appropriate to
(20:41):
talk about. And usually it stillwasn't about our work. It was about
her own sexual exploration or things thatshe heard and wanted a better understanding of.
And she knew she could ask usthose things because she knew a little
bit more information about the type ofwork that we did. So I'm go
to some of the questions that comeup and um and see where it takes
(21:03):
us. All right, So,um, how do our parents feel about
our profession. Oh I like this, yes, yeah sure. UM,
I have like a very like amilitary type policy, don't have don't tell.
So. Um my my parent issecond okay. UM my my parent
(21:33):
is my mother and um she's whoraised me and she is my my UM
still very very much in my lifeand in my children's life, our day
to day life, and she knowswhat I do, but um, she
also doesn't want to know the details. And she also just wants to know
how the hell are we going tomake enough money for her to enjoy her
(21:53):
life. She um and super supportivewith out making herself uncomfortable or making me
uncomfortable with discussing the details, andlike that's cool, it works for us.
Um. I may share with herpictures that I think are appropriate.
Um yeah yeah, stuff like thatthat's like sexy, um, or that
(22:21):
is artistic, and she'll still saylike, oh, you know, you
don't have enough clothes, and I'llbe like, oh wait till you see
the rest of them, and she'lljust be like that's it, and you
know, we'll kind of laugh itoff. Um. The most in depth
conversation that we've really had was measking her what was the Filipino name for
(22:42):
specifically a submissive. For some reason, I needed to know that particular information,
and she was able to share withme like like that there is you
know, like there was there's aparticular name for it, and that there
was someone in our family who usedto have like a relationship like that.
Yeah, And that was the endof the conversation. And I was like,
(23:03):
oh, because that's pretty much likewhat I do for work, you
know. And she was just like, oh, okay, you know,
so about that money, run memy check. How about for you?
My mother is she wants to writelike sex novels, Like asking like what
(23:26):
was she saying that that we needto She was saying like you guys should
read, um, you can makemoney reading like sexy novels or something like
that. When she found out wewas coming to do the podcast. Yeah,
you know, my mother actually iswell she always will be to me.
But her job she was a healtha health professor and health activist.
(23:48):
So my mother used to teach nurseshow to teach sex education in Jersey and
the schools, so she did that, you know. She also worked with
different front um community programs in Jerseyand New York for you know, like
raising AIDS awareness or like outreach toget people uh condoms and all kinds of
(24:11):
shit like that. So she's likesuper comfortable. She had, you know,
those important conversations with me when Iwas young about protection and things like
that, so she'd be having jokes. The funniest shit ever was, Um,
I was shooting somewhere and they forgot, like they lost all my bags.
So I was calling she like,you know, just letting her know
(24:33):
I landed, and I was like, yeah, they lost on my bag.
She's like, a good thing.You don't need clothes for your job,
you know what I'm saying. It'slike, damn, she did any
opportunity. So it's like going,I'm going to work, I'm going to
LA or I'm going to Vegas todo some work. She's are you shooting
videos or you're beating on people?That's what it was. There were two
(24:56):
situations that we did this exact samething, but our response and reaction to
it were completely different. There wasone time you were on set and you
were sending me a BTS photo andyou accidentally sent it in our group message.
Maybe it was our group message.No, I accidentally sent it to
my mom. Oh, so youmust have sent me a screenshot or something.
(25:18):
Yeah, I sent you a screenshot, Like, oh my god.
Yeah, because also see that mymother also is visually impaired, so you
know, trying to get her todo the details of deleting a picture or
or a conversation, it's like virtuallyimpossible. So I'm just like I called
it, like, yo, justdon't open messages from me until I get
(25:38):
home. And I was like,oh man, the first she was so
cool about it. That was shewas like she was cracking jokes. She
was so cool about Now. Idid the same thing. I sent the
screenshot of I think our website orI sent a link to our web site.
(26:00):
Yes, accidentally to my mom.Thank god. The kids were over
there, the teenagers at the time, and I told the one that is
the fastest on her feet, gether phone right now and delete it.
Get it. Get it. She'slike, how am I supposed to get
her fall. I was like,do whatever you need to do, but
get it, get it now.She thought she had jokes, but you
(26:26):
know, our daughter had jokes,and thankfully my mom did not. Wow,
that's funny. But yeah, soour parents know and they are supportive
in their own in their own ways. All right. So here's another one,
Um, how did how do wefeel about having kids prior to being
in the in the profession, havingkids to be how do we feel about
(26:52):
having kids prior to I mean,I've I've wanted to be your father longer
than I've wanted to be anything elsebecause my father's real shitty. So I
was like, I need to dothis, to do this right for somebody,
you know what I'm saying. Soum, you know, even even
before I was in the profession,I was like, you know, one
(27:14):
day, I want to have afamily. And even when I started and
I started being important when I waseighteen, you know what I'm saying.
So it was never something that forme that I was just like, nah,
i'm gonna I'm gonna put that onthe back burner. It's just more
like the right person, you knowwhat I'm saying, and it'll happen.
(27:36):
And it did. Yeah. Well, I got into the industry, like
professionally, professionally after I had kidsalready, so um, and unlike you,
I didn't really have plans of beinga family like I actually was running
from that, like so so bad. I did not, um, I
didn't think that I wanted children,or at least on as early as I
(28:00):
did. I thought maybe that mightbe something later later on. So that
was a part of it. DidI don't want to say it like it
did weigh in on entering the industry, but not like am I going to
do it or not? More alongthe lines of like how am I going
to do it? Because the kidshave never you know, they always are
(28:22):
of consideration in any decision that Imade, but they're not the deciding factor.
I think that's important for parents ofany professional walk of life or in
anything, because I see a lotof people who blame their kids for all
types of shit that ain't got nothingto do with their kids. Like,
that's your decisions, Yeah, that'snot your kids who made that decision for
(28:42):
you. You really wanted to ornot didn't want to do that thing.
You would have made the right combinationof moves to make sure that shit did
or didn't happen. Absolutely, Yeah, And I don't think that it's I
don't think it's fair to yourself,but it certainly isn't fair to your children
to say that your you know,your outcome in life was because of them
(29:04):
before or you know, absolutely UM, and I didn't. I knew that
I wanted to try this out.I knew I wanted to have like this
other side of me UM be actualized. But I didn't want to hurt my
children. I didn't want to hindermyself. So it was more along the
lines of like, well, howcan I do this in a way?
(29:25):
And I chose the honest route,you know, and the slow and steady
route too, so let's see,Okay, I love this one. The
joy that we had this conversation actuallyum a night or two ago, somewhat
somewhat the joys and difficulties at leastof having children, but the joys and
difficulties of having children, even ifporn wasn't the profession. I mean,
(29:48):
I think the joy is truly likejust watching somebody grow into a into their
own into their own self. Andyou know, there's difficulties in growth,
you know what I'm saying, growingpains for a reason, But you know,
(30:12):
seeing someone actualize a dream or Idon't know, it doesn't even have
to be like the biggest dream inthe world, but like just for for
a four year old, we tookhim to dinosaur World, right, and
he is completely obsessed with dinosaurs,but like to take him there and like
he's pointing the dinosaurs out to us, like that's a raptor. He eats
(30:36):
meat, that's spinosaurus. That's likedinosaurs. I don't know this one dinosaur
he said, I don't even rememberthe name, but he knew the name.
And I was just like, oh, man, like watching watching them
just pulling information and then apply thatshit into their world is it's like fascinat
(30:56):
It's fascinating the wad. I lovedit. I think, um one of
the that definitely is it is thejoy and it's such an honor right to
like to be a part of that. Um. I think there's also a
lot of joy in watching yourself growwhere you know, like like I didn't
have sort of the same trajectory onlife, like I'm gonna be a great
(31:18):
mom, I'm gonna be this kindof um mom. But then his mom
was like, oh my gosh,like I did that not just like having
them, but like I really wrotethat out with you or like we got
through high school, you know,like and there's a pride that, um,
I would I didn't understand that youknow that you can have in another
(31:40):
person's accomplishment until having a child,and and it's like really over small and
big things, you know that it'sjust like wow, like I I don't
know, like I breathed into that. You know. Um, the difficult
all of the ship is, allof it is difficult. It's all difficult,
(32:00):
regardless of the profession. I mean, she's like waking up at night
and changing somebody shooting die, butlike, this is difficult. It's hard
to discipline yourself to put someone beforeyou at all times, at all costs.
Um. It's difficult to juggle themany things that that we want to
do in life. You know,like how we were talking about like an
(32:21):
upcoming tour and we're like, oh, that would be great, and then
we'll go there, and then we'llgo there and we'll do this, and
then we're like okay, like howdo we do this with like two car
seats and you know, three differentpersonalities? That part feels that is difficult.
And I don't I wouldn't change thedifficult aspects for the joy. Yeah,
(32:42):
um, but I don't think thatit's I think sometimes people can have
unrealistic expectations around like how difficult thatis? Yeah, I also think you
know, joy isn't a constant,the constant, you wouldn't even really appreciate
that, right, you know.And difficulties aren't the constant either, so
it makes you appreciate those for whatthey are as well. And I think
(33:06):
the difficult thing for me is difficultthing for me is it's like, um,
you know, you just you wantthe best for them. So it's
like I don't want you to makethis mistake. I know you're about to
make this mistake. Why are youmaking this fucking mistake right now? And
(33:29):
it's like you want to, youwant to jump in, but you also
know, like for their overall growthand down the line, they have to
experience some of those falls and pitfallsto know how to brush themselves off and
keep it moving. So it's likewhen do I step in? Or do
I step in? Do I notstep in? Like how do I let
(33:50):
them know that I'm here if theyneed me to step in? Like?
Those are those are the parts that'sdifficult because it's like, yo, I'm
not talking about like falling off bikeand scrape in your knee. I'm talking
about like a mistake that your kickwould make that You're like, Yo,
this is gonna affect you down theline by this shit. It's for real,
you know, those are like thosekind of things, those are those
(34:13):
are the ones word like to me, it's really difficult where it's like,
God, let them do it,you gotta do it, just let it
happen. You'd be like, youwant to jump in and take the take
the bullet for them at all times, and you can't because it's gonna be
a day that I'm not here orthat I might not be able to get
(34:36):
to them as fast as I needto. And they got to be able
to handle themselves in that moment orthroughout the rest of their life on their
own. That was a heavy askquestion right there. How does that pertain
to? And I'm gonna put thesetwo together because I think the joys and
difficulties of having children, specifically asa porn performer, but this this sort
(34:57):
of merges that together. How hassex work, the professional sex work,
changed our parenting style? And soI'll jump jump right into this one.
I think I have gotten so criticalof my parenting style because I'm in the
industry, because of how other peoplejudge people that are in the industry.
(35:22):
So now, granted, I thinksome I think that our parenting style is
better. Like I think being criticalof yourself as a as a parent is
important, and I think that youshould, you know, be checking yourself
and are you doing you know,you know, you don't want to be
screaming on your kids if you couldavoid screaming on your kids at any point
(35:43):
in time. But I think there'san added layer of like, I want
to raise my voice right now,but I have to be mindful because someone
thinks I'm an unfit parent already.And now this any little thing is sort
of just like being black ah whenyou like, I want to go in
that store, but let me justgo ahead and lead this book back in
(36:05):
the car, because somebody already thinkI'm a damn thief and I don't have
no intentions without stealing nothing. Butand so you know, for us,
it's like a joke or you know, not even something that as serious is
like raising you or not even serious, but something like raising your voys or
like a particular joke or like whatare we talking about on the podcast today?
(36:28):
You know, would anybody think thatit's totally inappropriate for us to have
this conversation in front of a childthat we know does not understand anything that
we are saying. You know whatI mean, what kind of you know?
Anyone should be able to have sextoys in their home right because it's
an adult toy. It's it's notillegal to have that. But as a
performer, how could this be construedin a way that could potentially harm,
(36:52):
like, you know, the flowof my household? And we have had
colleagues that have had their children takenaway, or have been threatened to have
their children taken away, or hadtraumatic experiences where their parenting style was called
into question, not because of theirparenting style, but because of their profession.
(37:15):
And I don't ever want us tobe in anything close to that situation.
So I do think I can beoverly critical of like our environment,
how we parent, what I say, what I don't say, who I
share certain things with, you know, all that kind of stuff that's real.
(37:36):
I think for me, being thatI was in the profession already before
I have, I feel like,between this and my music career, come
into contact with not all, butmost types of humans, you know what
I'm saying. So it's like,you know, no matter what kind of
(38:00):
children I was gonna have. Ifeel like I would have some kind of
understanding on just not so much whatmake them take, but what who they
are in a sense, you know, and not that we see all the
time in adults, in what wesee in kids, but like there is
(38:25):
the that growth that's there. SoI think like in that it's it's made
me more understanding of humanity. Ithink that's the best way to put it,
Like more understanding of humanity and moreunderstanding of just people and what motivates
them and what moves them and thingslike that. So whether it's whatever I
(38:46):
need to share with my kids,like oh, this is the kind of
person you coming in contact with,Well this person moves this way or you
know that. And then also I'vejust always been working in some shape form
of fashion, So it's like notthat they need to go into my profession,
but I understand that there's a wayto make a living in anything that
(39:14):
you can imagine. Yeah, youknow what I'm saying. So like I
don't know, like going back toour son, like you you love dinosaurs,
where there's a million ways you canyou can make money. You don't
particularly have to go to school tobe a paleontologist. You can I don't
know, make fucking tiktoks with dinosaurtoys and some shit, you know what
I mean. Like, there's somany ways, And I think that because
(39:36):
of our profession, and our professiondoes force you to think of so many
different different avenues for revenue streams thatyou can apply that to other professions as
well. So I think that thatalways comes into play with like, oh,
yeah, you could do that shit, Like who would have thought I
(39:57):
would do what I do for aliving? Like come on, like you
could do that shit. I definitelythink that, Um, I have seen
a total shift in myself in thatway because of the people that we've met
in the industry and the people thatthat we've become in the industry. That
ways. I definitely started off parentingat like you need to do this the
(40:21):
same way, the same route thatI took, um, because you need
these things to fall back on.You need this, you know. And
now I feel a lot more likeyou, like there are so many ways
and like you got like you gotyou to fall back on, you know,
Like so um yeah, that's definitelya positive of huge positive aspect.
(40:42):
And then also just like the opennesslike meeting being able to meet so many
people in this industry that are incredible, that are really wonderful, you know,
and and have such varied lifestyles andinteresting ways in which they've come to
being the wonderful person that they are. UM has really allowed allowed my has
(41:05):
allowed me to really envision that forour children. Just like, are you
a good person? Are you niceto people? Do you show up to
work clean and ready to go likeben awesome? I don't. Yeah,
I don't. I don't. Idon't really care how many years of school
you've put in, or what respectabilitypolitics, or you know, if you
have read all of these particular booksto show up in the world in a
(41:29):
particular way. Are you a goodperson? Are you nice to work with?
Work? Yeah? It's pretty goodstandards. They're heart standards to me
though, UM let's see what elsewe yat here. I love these questions.
They're great benefits of finding a partnerthat is in the same profession.
(41:50):
So as long as I've been inthis profession, I've been with you.
UM, when I've dipped, dippedand dabbled, I have definitely had Like
when I dance said club somebody thatwas like all for the money, but
not for the show. Um.And then I definitely have been with a
partner that did not want me tospeak about that past. It was like
(42:14):
something you did, and I knewthat I couldn't revisit it if I wanted
to. So that I think itmakes all the difference in the world to
have a partner that's in the sameprofession for me, absolutely, because then
you're able to be your full self. Yeah, you know, I've had
relationships where, you know, peoplewere the same kind of thing, like
(42:37):
money's good or whatever. They enjoythe fruit to the label, but not
I want to know them. SoI think that. And then also,
you know, people carry their ownshame, so like I have, you
know, like there was a timewhen when I had taken a break from
from adult entertainment and I was doinglike a different kind of gig or whatever,
(43:00):
and even like with the music shit, you know, where it's like
people just like that's what you do. And then if you want to talk
about the other shit had uncomfortable,you know, and it's just like,
well, now you're trying to cutoff a part of mine of who I
am. So it makes it itmakes it easier. And then also,
when somebody's in the industry that you'rein, they understand someone what you deal
(43:24):
with, you know, And Ithink that would go for anything. You
know. If we were both investmentbankers and I was like, Yo,
this investment banking is stressing me out, you'd be able to say, hey,
well, you know, break yourshit down, you know. And
I think it's it's like that withwith our profession because we're able to provide
even if we're not working on thesame project together, we're able to provide
(43:45):
each other with some ideas to maybemake that that shit more more, more,
stream better, better. And thenif you want to talk about the
other shit at uncomfortable, you know, and it's just like, well,
now you're trying to cut off apart of mine, yea of who I
am. So it makes it,it makes it easier. And then also
(44:07):
when somebody's in the industry that you'rein, they understand someone what you deal
with, you know, And Ithink that would go for anything. You
know. If we were both investmentbankers and I was like, Yo,
this investment banking is stressing me out, you'd be able to say, hey,
well, you know, break yourshit down, you know, And
I think it's it's like that withwith our profession, because we're able to
(44:29):
provide even if we're not working onthe same project together, we're able to
provide each other with some ideas tomaybe make that that shit more, more,
more stream better, better way afetish Let's starts wants you to know
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Do you think that, I mean, you had a very open,
open childhood at least with your mombeing able to learn about sex and to
talk about sex, and I hadthe complete opposite. But do you think
(45:32):
that for our children that there areany more understanding about sex than perhaps,
like just kind of thinking about youand or kids from your generation based on
I think so for sure, theirexperience as children of entertainments, I think
(45:53):
that not only because of the entertainmentaspect and the profession that we're in,
but also the kind of people thatwe are. We're very much like you
can talk to me about anything.You can ask me any kind of question,
and if I can't answer it,I can at least point you in
the direction to get the information ortalk to somebody who can answer your question.
(46:15):
So I think on that level,they're definitely But I will say this,
with one of our kids, justthe nature of how she is,
she's uncomfortable talking about sex period,you know what I'm saying. And I
don't know if that is because ofwhat we do or just because you know,
that's just kind of how she is. And I think that you know,
(46:37):
you would be able to answer thata little bit better. But I
think that in that sense, likewe're not going to shy away from certain
things that I think other people mightshy away from having conversations with their kids.
Yeah, I mean, I thinkthat's important that there isn't an assumption
that like you have to be acertain type you have, that you have
(47:00):
to be a certain type of comfortableabout sex to raise children that are comfortable,
you know, I think exactly whatyou said in terms of like sex
is one topic, you know,one aspect of our lives, and just
like our work is one aspect ofour lives. It's okay, it's okay,
(47:22):
you can talk to us about anything, but just not now, okay.
I think that it is that peopledo kind of put sex as this
sort of so much weight on it, and I would hope that regardless of
what kind of work we did,that we would be able to have the
(47:45):
fluid and comfortable conversations around sex.I think that our kids, knowing how
how free we are about our ownsex does allow them to be more comfortable
just by you know, it's sortof like like you said about anything.
(48:06):
I mean, I guess if youknow, we were really interested in what
we are, but like we wereif our work was about travel, they
would be that much more exposed tothe world of traveler that being a possibility
for them. I think that oursecond child is so much more open than
(48:27):
she was and so sort of likewatching her pace her pace herself to being
comfortable at her own pace, husband, And part of that is like us
not throwing our profession or like we'recomfortable, so you should be comfortable.
We're not like that, and soit happening at her own pace. It
feels so like it feels nice,you know, that's like, Okay,
(48:52):
we're not rushing her, but shehas heard the gems that we've dropped over
the years, and I feel reallyconfident that she will be comfortable to assert
herself in her relationships and also thatshe won't be rushed or peer pressured into
two things that she's not comfortable with. So now, I think with any
(49:15):
profession, you don't particularly expect yourkid to do what it is you do
right, and you hope that thethings that benefit them from your work is
for them to be provided with opportunitiesthat maybe you didn't have when you were
young. And that could just befrom the sense of like knowing that it
(49:37):
is okay to be whoever you wantto be right, you do not have
to be like our oldest is verymonogamous. We're like, oh, you're
insulting us because you're not poly rightor something like that. You know,
it's no. We accept you forwho you are, want you to be
(49:59):
free to be who you are,you know what I'm saying, and explore
whatever it is you want to exploreas long as you're knowledgeable and safe and
to me, you know, thatmakes me even more comfortable in her decisions,
like you said, like I mean, we don't get we don't have
control over those decisions, but wecertainly can feel challenged by them. But
it makes me feel comfortable because shehas different models to be able to say
(50:22):
like, no, no, Ireally am very much monogamous. And it's
not because I don't know what elseexists. It doesn't. It's not because
I've been socialized to be a particularway. I see your example, I
see Auntie so and So's example,I see the people that you know that
I've met over the years. ButI'm this way, and I think that,
(50:43):
like you know, the same forour children in there, in terms
of sexuality, their sexual orientation,their gender identity, they have been able
to see different models of that,whether through our discussion about people that we've
met, that we've worked with,we've been through people's transition at work where
(51:04):
um they've been friends of like considerthem family friends, and so our kids
are able to see like this isan option. Um. So I do
think our work has brought in thesame way as brought in our perspective of
types of people that we've come andencountered lifestyles. It has also brought in
(51:24):
those opportunities for them to have likechoices and they see how open we are
to people and their choices where we'renot um. I think one of the
ways that also helps them be moreopen about sex, sexuality, gender identity,
and orientation is they don't have thebarrier of judgment in their face of
(51:45):
their parents, like what are myparents? Kind of things like you already
know what we think? Yeah,did you do dishes? And I think
that is like the most important thingyou can do as a parent, no
matter what. It's beautiful. So, okay, this one more. And
(52:05):
I know why this may seem,especially in the day of the of the
pandemic working from home, why thisquestion may come up about the separation that
we have between sex work and family. You know, this was one of
the ways that we had to reallylike, oh shit, like we have
to work from home. How dowe how do we work or how do
(52:29):
we not work from home? Butdo it safely? During this time and
so you know, we watched lotsof families that weren't in sex work struggle
with having that separation between work andfamily, but so specifically with sex work
because it is adult work. Andso the question is how much separation do
(52:52):
we have between sex work and families? Yeah, yeah, no, I
mean I think, you know,times when we had to during the pandemic
send the kids to your mother's andthings of that nature, but also going
(53:13):
and working on the road and beingaway and when it's time to be home,
then it's time to be home anddeal with the family stuff that we
do there when when we're there,you know, I think it's not really
one of those things that you know, not like sitting there editing, hanging
out with the kids because they willbe completely inappropriate, you know. So
(53:37):
it's definitely one of those things whereit's like only can happen within its time.
It's one of those kind of professions. So for me that that was
good because then it's just like Iedit when I can edit, but this
other time, now family's up incomplete family mode. Yeah. I definitely
allows us to shut work off.It forces us to shut work off.
(54:00):
And then also when it is timeto work, we are very much focused
on our work and it's looking likeroyal, It's like it is time to
make that step. Now, tellthe people where to find you. You
(54:21):
can find us on Instagram, RoyalFetish Radio, Sex Positive Parenting, Sex
Positive Parenting. You can find uson Spotify. You used to be able
to find us on Shopify and thenwe got kicked. How do you get
kicked off of Shopify? That's anotherepisode you need to talk about censorship.
(54:44):
You can find us on Twitter.Royal Fat Radio. Oh you remember that
one. That was the one Iwas. I was searching my member.
Now we just have a really greatproducer that it's feeding me lines. Actually
the whole all my answers are theretrompted. Yes, I want to mess
with your ship like Ron Burgundy nexttime. But everywhere you listen to podcast,
all of them places well, yo, definitely check out Royal Fetish x
(55:10):
x X dot com, King ofar x x x dot com and the
fans and all them good spots aswell. I'm supposed to look in the
camera even time, but I waszoning out. I was like getting the
groove. I was about to dothat shit that the singers doing. They
be holding their ear and ship.I was in a moment. Hold on,
Mariah, I'm about to break glassin this way, I'm the skinny
(55:31):
legend around here, but Joe definitelykeep rocking with US Royal fetish radio,
porn in politics. We have sexall around the clock. That's what Orlando
told me, No he did.We talk about sex and life and life
(55:52):
before and after dark. That's whatit's like to be your parent. You'd
be trying to have your moment andyour kid snatches it from you, right, A fetish
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