Episode 12 | School Dazed

Last week, we "gator done" with bizarre Florida Man headlines — cuz nothin' says "come visit" like locals chuckin' crocodiles thru drive-thru windows!

This week, we’re trading palm trees for pencil shavings in a special Back to School episode where Ryan and Jay swap their own childhood stories from the hallways of hell.

Awkward moments. Questionable fashion choices. And lunchroom lunacy that left us wondering if we were ever actually served REAL food? Seriously, what was that stuff?

It’s also the grand finale of our very first season! We’ll be taking a short break (call it recess) ... but in the meantime, now’s the perfect chance to re-listen to your favorite episodes from the start — trust us, they’re even funnier the second time around!

Thanks for the love, for real. Sending it right back. See ya soon, nerds!

FOLLOW ON IG:
@jokesbyjay
@ryanmanno

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Sharpen your pencils and lower your expectations. It's back to
school time.

Speaker 2 (00:04):
We've got detention worthy stories, cafeteria crimes, and enough bad
decisions to fill a yearbook.

Speaker 1 (00:09):
Class is in session, but we're gonna skip it anyway.
Hi Ryan, Hi, Hi again stranger.

Speaker 2 (00:18):
Hello.

Speaker 1 (00:20):
You sound way better this week. You sound you sound.
Are you in a different room.

Speaker 2 (00:23):
Yes, I'm not in a conference room. I'm still out
of town, you know, but I'm not in a conference room.
I'm in my my room, my hotel room. So it's
like a smaller space. So I think hopefully I don't
sound so like whatever I did last week.

Speaker 1 (00:37):
You sounded fine. I mean, look, it's these things happen.
I mean, I know you're not like an avid pod consumer,
but a lot I sent you a clip this week
of one of the like the top rated podcasts of
one of the guys.

Speaker 2 (00:47):
Oh yeah, it made me feel so much better. So yeah, yeah,
it was like this conversation and the guy just disappeared
like randomly, Like it sounded like he was on a
flip phone. I like, I don't know what it was. Yeah, yah,
yeah it is a payphone.

Speaker 1 (00:58):
I know. We do have some news to share at
the end of this episode, so make sure you stick
with the whole thing. Yes, and there were two more
things I wanted to mention up top before we get
into our school dazed. What were the two countries that
tapped in this week for the first time?

Speaker 2 (01:14):
Portugal in Japan. We are now heard in seventeen countries.

Speaker 1 (01:18):
I loove that.

Speaker 2 (01:19):
Isn't that amazing?

Speaker 1 (01:20):
Yeah? I love Japan getting in. That's awesome. I mean,
not like I don't love Portugal getting in. I'm just
saying that the Japan thing got me.

Speaker 2 (01:30):
No, Yeah, for sure. I mean these are all I mean.
Anytime I see a new country, I don't even give
a shit what it is. I get really stoked.

Speaker 1 (01:36):
Also side note, we obviously, as you've heard at the
beginning of this, we have enabled ads, which I didn't
realize when we When you monetize a podcast through Spreaker,
the ads actually are retroactive and when you finally come home,
we made our first dollar. So I want to I
want to. I want to give you a frame dollar.
I want to put a frame and we both sign

(01:57):
it and say say it anyway, it's our first dollar.
We made a doll We.

Speaker 2 (02:00):
Did it, took us many days to make that dollar.

Speaker 1 (02:03):
No, it didn't, it did not.

Speaker 2 (02:06):
I think we're going to make like eleven dollars a month,
so putting them an two weeks.

Speaker 1 (02:10):
That's enough. Year, that's enough, and then let's talk.

Speaker 2 (02:15):
About that's cute. But maybe you wait till we get
to like two dollars before you withdraw that one dollar.
You know what I mean. It's been a question.

Speaker 1 (02:21):
Okay, yeah, uh, we're talking about back to school this week.

Speaker 2 (02:26):
So speaking of money, did you ever get sent to
school with like lunch money or did you pack a lunch?
Like what was your deal?

Speaker 1 (02:32):
You know, hold on before we get there, because that's
a good question, but I want to get there first.
Your kids went back yesterday, Yes, they're good.

Speaker 2 (02:38):
Did they did? Yeah? Yeah, So that the idea was,
let's do a back to school episode, but talk about
our school days because it's back to school time, right,
so it's relevant. You know, it's it's happening. People are
getting all done with their summer breaks and you know,
getting back into the swing of things. Parents usually love
this because they're like, oh my god, and.

Speaker 1 (02:58):
That's what I was going to ask. That's why I
bring this up, because this is the best time for
parents because you no longer have to plan like a summer.

Speaker 2 (03:04):
Yes, so it's it's a little different for us, Like
I don't know how people do do it for two months,
Like I guess they go on trips and stuff. Like
for us, we there's a summer program the school has
so the kids can continue going and then they only
get like two weeks off, and those two weeks, I'm like, ah,
people will do this, you know what I mean, But
they do it for two months, so I shouldn't complain.

Speaker 1 (03:24):
But how about it Back in the day, though, Jay,
we had three months. We had from we had from
Memorial Day to Labor Day or Labor Day to Memorial Day.
I said about it.

Speaker 2 (03:33):
So, yeah, my birthday is at the end of this month,
and it was always like the last thing and then
we'd go to school, like you going Monday, you know
what I mean, like for Tuesday, I guess because yeah,
after the holiday. But but yeah, it was the summer
would end with my birthday and then we would go
back and it was I don't know, man, I didn't
do summer camps ever. I was like, I didn't my
mom just like we did stuff. I guess I don't

(03:54):
even know. But that summer was that was a long haul.

Speaker 1 (03:58):
That's a great summer though, And I feel bad the
kids now they don't have.

Speaker 2 (04:01):
All that I know. I don't only have like two weeks.
She doesn't even know. She doesn't even know about the
two months. She has no idea. They went back AFTERDAS
and say, go to this like performance based school. It's
not like they don't start a new school year when
they go back. So what happens is there's like each class,
each grade has like a checklist of things that they
have to accomplish and be like the curriculum that they

(04:22):
have to know, and when they know those things, they
get like graduated to the next class.

Speaker 3 (04:26):
Right.

Speaker 2 (04:27):
So this even goes for a little Luca because they
have several different preschool levels and the school mascot is
a dragon. So he was a little dragon and now
he's a junior Dragon.

Speaker 1 (04:37):
Oh it's exciting cut.

Speaker 2 (04:39):
So yeah, he went to the junior Dragon class, which
is like, you know, like a little bit older, you know,
like he's like in the next thing. And he has
a really cool teacher who has like these awesome tattoos,
like she's super cool. She learned today that Luca has
developed a very recent, completely devastatingly terror of flies.

Speaker 1 (04:57):
Oh okay, yeah, so if he sees.

Speaker 2 (04:59):
A fly anywhere near him, he goes, oh, and you
got to do the whole like shoe fly, don't bother
me thing, but very dramatically, like with a napkin er,
like make.

Speaker 1 (05:06):
Sure he knows that you get your you're actively working.

Speaker 2 (05:09):
You're actively working to kill this fly, you know, and
that fly is not going to get my son. And
if he sees you do that, then he's like ok
and comes back. He's like ah, like it's back. Guy
sits back and you're like, okay, the whole thing. And
it happened inside of a restaurant. They came to visit me,
and I mean we were we were inside because it
was like, no, you know, I didn't even see it.

(05:30):
He started. I was like, I know there's a fly
because I knew the signs. He was like he is
a fly, tell.

Speaker 1 (05:34):
Sure, sure, yeah, the flight tell.

Speaker 2 (05:36):
Right, and and there's the whole thing. Oh my god,
And it was and we couldn't get the fly, and
then we forgot to tell the teacher that he has
a fear of flies. You know. So so today I
got an update that he uther learned that Luca is
afraid of fly. We forgot to tell her Walt was

(05:57):
holding him. So that must have been a complete chaotic
moment for I have no idea. I'm glad everyone's okay
and nothing's broken. But yeah, so that's that live is
uh is loving it. I mean she's not. She goes.
I was like I was the second day of school.
She's like, it's fine. You know, she's already like just hate.

Speaker 1 (06:11):
Yeah, she's getting that inture.

Speaker 2 (06:12):
She's already she's like, I don't want to do sports.
I'm like, oh my god, you know, like very dramatic,
just like her mom.

Speaker 1 (06:18):
Yeah, of course. Yeah. Now going back to your other question, lunch.
All right, let's talk about lunch, because that's a very look.
I don't care, Uh, at what grade level you are
or what performance level you are based on what you
just shared about your kids.

Speaker 2 (06:33):
There aren't great Wait wait, I say one thing. Yeah,
just keep like in order with like a school year.
I becauesse because we're going to talk about lun We're
talk about cafeteria. We just hang on a second. You know,
I'm saying you're the one that brought it up. I know,
and I should. But the reason I'm saying this is
because one of the things that I loved the most

(06:55):
about going back to school, and I'm still like this.
It's a weird thing that so, you know, like I said,
my birthdays at the end of the month, and so
my mom would always take me back to school shopping,
but it would also be like a birthday shop. So
we would buy like a whole new wardrobe for school,
and then we would buy all the stationary that I
needed for school. And that was my favorite thing, more
even than the clothes, Like I loved picking out like

(07:18):
pens and folders and the five star zipper thing and
the notebooks and everything, like getting the list of everything
I needed to get, you know, and the Lisa Frank folders, yes,
you know, the whole thing, and I was just obsessed
with it. And then everything i'd be color coordinated with
the backpack, the jan Support backpack. Like it was the
best shopping experience of my life. And we would always

(07:38):
do it as like a birthday back to school thing,
which is a tradition. I should really start with, Olivia.
I have not done that, but I should because it
was so fun, Like I loved it. But I did
love the market, you know, the highlighters, all the things
more than the clothes. Shopping so weird, And even as
an adult, I love shopping for like, if I need
like a new pen, I'm like a pen person, like,

(07:59):
don't take my pet, like I'm that. Yeah, I love it.

Speaker 1 (08:02):
Okay, I love the I love the the shoe shopping.
We always got to pick out like the new Jordan's
or whatever, you know, and that was always a good time.
And the way the clothes, like new clothes smelled back then,
I just can tell, like, and then you'd come home
and obviously Dad wouldn't go to the.

Speaker 2 (08:16):
Mall like five year old kid in China.

Speaker 1 (08:19):
That smelled Yeah, yeah, it smelled like they're sweat. It
was great. Yeah, you could just smell the sweat like.

Speaker 2 (08:25):
A hint of fortune cookie. Oh god.

Speaker 1 (08:29):
Okay, Yeah, I did love the I did love the
the shoe shopping. That was my favorite part of back
to back to school shopping. Well, now that we're on that, okay,
we're gonna get to lunch eventually. But listen, listen, I
gotta tell you, like one of the most embarrassing things
because when we knew we were talking about school. I'm
thinking about embarrassing moments that that plagued my school brain,

(08:50):
but my adult brain.

Speaker 2 (08:51):
Okay, I can make a note because I just remembered something.

Speaker 1 (08:54):
Take your time, all right, So I to this day,
am I would prefer to be comfortable more than fashionable.
I am as we record, I am here at work
in the studio. Oh yeah, like my whole life, Like
I never I didn't care, I wanted. I feel like
there's no greater, you know, rich on earth than being comfortable.

(09:20):
If your clothes fit, and you're like comfy in your clothes,
you're not hot, you're not sweaty, as long as you
feel good, Like I think that's like you're living, you know.

Speaker 2 (09:29):
Yeah. I mean, well, you also never had like a
well I don't know if this is true, but you
probably haven't had a job where you had to like
dress up for it.

Speaker 1 (09:36):
The one at the bank. I had to wear a
shirt and tie. Oh my god.

Speaker 2 (09:42):
You don't like dressing up because it's uncomfortable.

Speaker 1 (09:44):
I like dressing up now because it's only so rare,
and when I do that, it's I know, it's for
like a fun occasion. Yeah, if I have to put
a suit on or a tux. Now I'm in no.

Speaker 2 (09:53):
Like, yeah, no, no, that's great. But like even as
a female, like when I worked, you know, in a
in a medical office and I actually dress up and
undress every day with heels, I was like, oh my god,
I can't wait to go home put my pajamas on,
being sweats, you know. But then I started working from
home and I didn't have to dress like that, So
then you look forward to it more because you're not like,
you know what I mean, it's not a fun time
when you have when you have to do it, and.

Speaker 1 (10:12):
You've seen what I wear to work, You've been here
on those days, and it is there are no cares.

Speaker 2 (10:17):
It's you're also on the radio. No you can see you.

Speaker 1 (10:20):
That's what I'm saying. And no one here cares. No
one like I don't have a boss, is like, could
you take those you know, holy gym shorts off? They
don't care.

Speaker 2 (10:27):
Oh my god, you don't where holy gym shorts to work?
Do you really?

Speaker 1 (10:31):
I mean, I can't find I'm looking back right now,
I can't find a whole. They're they're like bleach stained
right now. Yeah, okay, you're done.

Speaker 2 (10:38):
They're done. For the day. It's not even like, Okay,
is this how you were today at work?

Speaker 3 (10:44):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (10:44):
Change? Oh okay, never mind, Okay, that's ok that's right. Right.

Speaker 1 (10:51):
Here's why I bring this up because because for the
longest time I did not want to wear jeans.

Speaker 2 (10:56):
I hated you dress like this when you were married
at work. Also like you didn't give a ship Yeah yeah, okay, yeah,
go ahead and continue. So what we're talking about Jean's school. Yep,
let's go back to that.

Speaker 1 (11:07):
What if being married have to do with anything?

Speaker 2 (11:10):
Because I wonder if like single guys just don't give
a shit and they let themselves go a little bit,
you know what I mean.

Speaker 1 (11:14):
No, I haven't let myself go. I've actually gotten myself back.

Speaker 2 (11:17):
No, sorry, I mean, good lord. I'm talking about wardrobe, Like, you.

Speaker 1 (11:21):
Know, Jay, I can look nice if I want to.
I have all the I know.

Speaker 2 (11:25):
I'm just saying, like, why would be like don't work
and go to where you have bleach stands on your shorts,
Like what are you doing? Like there's something they check
in with, like they can see you and at an
angle you can't see yourself, you know, so they might go,
what do you what's happening here.

Speaker 1 (11:36):
Yeah, okay, got it.

Speaker 2 (11:38):
Yeah, stuff like that.

Speaker 1 (11:39):
That makes total sense. Yes, I did dress like this
even when I was married. Yes, okay, that's very funny.

Speaker 2 (11:46):
Check it in on, got it?

Speaker 1 (11:48):
So listen, jep okay, listen, listen. So, like by fourth
or fifth grade is when I think kids sort of
started getting into jeans. I don't know how it was
for you as a girl, as a young girl. Yeah,
but that was the time where people really started to
like zone in on what you're wearing, like the shoes.

Speaker 2 (12:07):
Yes, yeah, like it was important. Certainly, it became important.

Speaker 1 (12:11):
What you were wearing. And I was the last one
to graduate out of sweatpants because to me, that was
primo living sweatpants every day at school. Hell yeah, hell yeah.

Speaker 2 (12:24):
Already the desks were super uncomfortable, you know what I mean.

Speaker 1 (12:27):
So listen to this. So in fifth grade I started
getting crushes on people. I had a crush on Missy Stoke,
Jenny Wagner, Jill Slipchins.

Speaker 2 (12:35):
Can you remember this? Oh my god, I don't remember
any of this.

Speaker 1 (12:37):
Oh I remember everything.

Speaker 2 (12:39):
You had crushes on three girls at once.

Speaker 1 (12:41):
No, no, no, like within the same year. I'm just
I'm thinking back on this grade, right, And so I
found out that the three of them collectively started referring
to me as the sweatpants king.

Speaker 2 (12:53):
Okay, well they didn't say the sweatpants dirt bag. They
said king. So that's good.

Speaker 1 (12:59):
Not good day. You're trying, No, you're trying real hard.

Speaker 2 (13:03):
The wording is not necessarily bad. They're not saying, oh
the bum you know what I mean.

Speaker 1 (13:09):
But that's what they're saying.

Speaker 2 (13:10):
Okay.

Speaker 1 (13:11):
So I had my parents take me to the outlet
mall in Michigan City and we went to the Guess
Jeans outlet and I bought a pair you hurt.

Speaker 2 (13:16):
Wait wait sorry you decided this because you heard this rumor?
Yeah tonight, you're like, I gotta get fucking jeans on.

Speaker 1 (13:22):
That was okay, that's what pushed me to jeans. Otherwise
I would have never owned a pair of.

Speaker 2 (13:26):
Your pressure Yep, yeah, go ahead. So you go get
your jeans at the outlet store, at.

Speaker 1 (13:30):
The Guess outlet. And so I had this one pair
of Guest jeans that I really liked, like they were
comfy enough for me to put the sweatpants away. And
I wore them so much that there was a hole
in the back, you know, like how your pockets can
kind of tear away.

Speaker 2 (13:47):
From the corner of a pocket. Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah.
So did you have something you always kept in that pocket,
like your wallet or something.

Speaker 1 (13:53):
No, I just I don't know.

Speaker 2 (13:54):
Sometimes that'll do it. It just happened.

Speaker 1 (13:56):
It just happens because of wear and tear.

Speaker 2 (13:58):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (13:59):
And so after I had graduated out of being known
as the sweatpants king, finally this guy is jeans.

Speaker 2 (14:04):
Oh god, now now what are you called because of
the hole?

Speaker 1 (14:07):
Because they see the hole. They're like, yep, that's your
only pair of jeans. And I was like, no, it's not.
They all have the same hole, and I was trying
to deflect. I just dug.

Speaker 3 (14:13):
It, it'd say dumb shit to fit in that.

Speaker 2 (14:24):
You're like, no, first of all, first of all, there's
like three different pairs and they all have the same hole.
And also, thanks for looking at my ass, you know
what I mean, Like that's probably what you said. Like
you're like, you know what I mean, you try to
just you just like deflect away from the hole. Why
are you looking at my back of my pants?

Speaker 1 (14:39):
Anyway? Yeah, and then I just wanted to go back
to sweatpants because the whole thing was just a wash.

Speaker 2 (14:43):
You know.

Speaker 1 (14:43):
I tried, I tried so hard and then in the
end it failed.

Speaker 2 (14:47):
Yeah, so what happened? Did you go back to sweatpants? No?

Speaker 1 (14:49):
I mean I don't know. I may have alternated or
or I went and got new jeans and was like,
I can't keep up the charade.

Speaker 2 (14:57):
No, because I would do some shit, like when I
was in school, I would have been like, they're all
like that, don't worry about it, and like the next
day would have come in with like a crisp para jean. Yeah.
Brutal kids are the worst thing. They really are. Man Like,
oh god, so and no one like looks out for
each other. Like when I was a kid, I was
in this you know, the pe class, right gym class,

(15:21):
and I was little. I don't remember what grade I
was in, but I remember I know I was little
because the activity we were doing is that everyone was
you know the parachute where everybody would parachute, Hell you
parachute down?

Speaker 1 (15:30):
Love that.

Speaker 2 (15:31):
So yeah, there was a bunch of us in the
gymnasium doing this and I had to go to the
bathroom and I had on a like a like a
dress that was probably went to my knees and I
had tights on underneath. I was little, and I went
to the bathroom and I came back to the pe
class and I'm doing the parachute and I'm doing this parachute.
I don't know, I don't know how long I was
in there. Twenty minutes right all time to the pressure.

(15:52):
And you got to go all the way up and
you got to stand up and then you got to
sit down with a parachute, right, so you kind of
crouch down with your knees like, you know, like your
crouch down you guys all the way to the floor. Yeah,
everybody has a drill with a parachutes. Simple content, Okay,
I need you to get the visual on this. So
I'm doing this for about twenty minutes with the entire class.
So I don't know, there's like thirty of us, right,

(16:14):
everyone's got a handle on this thing. There's not one
that's left ungripped.

Speaker 1 (16:18):
Yeah, either, everyone's got it.

Speaker 2 (16:21):
Everyone's white knuckle in this thing. No one's letting me go.
And there's like a couple of teachers behind me and
some other students and whatever. And at the end, at
the end of the class of this parachute, you know, charade.
This teacher comes up to me and whispers in my ear,

(16:41):
your dress is stuck, And I go, what do you mean?
Oh no, And I put my hand behind my back
very like it's just not not but not acting like
I'm okay, Like I'm out drawing attention to myself and
the entire time, the entire twenty five or thirty minutes
of that from when I had gone to the bathroom
between class, which at this point, as I'm realizing what's happening,

(17:03):
felt like it was before summer break. That's how long.
The time just felt like months had gone by. As
I turned, my skin gets hot and I want to
disappear inside. I want to go under the parachute and
then have someone just get me out of here. We
got to change schools. I put my hand behind my
back to find that my dress is completely tucked into

(17:27):
the tights. And I'm going up and down with this
thing and smiling and just like like you know, just
having the time of my life right, And everybody sees
this and not one quote unquote friend or other little
shit peer classic and said anything. Ever, the teacher says something,

(17:52):
and also she waits till the goddamn end. So I
don't know what we're doing. The level of humanity and
just care for each other and man kind. Yeah, in
school as a child was completely non existent. Completely and
the other thing too, you know as an adult, Like
I think as an adult, I've told more people and
have heard more from others, like as a grown up,

(18:12):
if you have something in your teeth, why are we
letting people walk around with something? And there just just
feel like you get all the something right here, like
the second tooth thing. Yeah, as a kid, I remember
like going to the bathroom like why did anyone time?
And I am so I'm talking and I'm smiling and
my mouth was like a piano of teeth, Like there's
no way nobody saw this, do you know what I mean?
Like just tell me and then I would be like
devastated and I'm like, oh my god, I was having

(18:33):
a back going and my friend and she didn't say anything.
And then you feel like you have no friends, you.

Speaker 1 (18:37):
Know, Yeah, here's another one, here's another one. Okay. So
when I discovered cologne, oh god, so I remember we were.

Speaker 2 (18:49):
At like jac pan yourself on it like way too much?

Speaker 1 (18:52):
No, no, no, listen, we were at like J. C.
Penny or something. You know how they gave away those
little they used to come in the cards, like yeah,
with the little glasses.

Speaker 2 (18:59):
A little vile as was in the center for the
binding of the card.

Speaker 1 (19:02):
Yeah boom. So I I was like, I thought I
was real slick, and I snagged a couple of those,
and I'm like, oh, the ladies are gonna love this ship.
When I put this on my neck, I'm gonna do
like Remember this was in seventh grade, Okay, So I'm like,
I'm just gonna you know, I'm not gonna do it
at home because I don't want to tip off mom
and dad like that. I'm trying to be like Rico Suave, right,

(19:22):
So I'm like, I'm gonna I'm gonna I'm gonna pocket
this card with the vial, and then as soon as
I get to school, I'm gonna dip in the bathroom
and do like a dab with my finger here on
both sides of the neck, you know. Yeah, first day
I attempted this ruse, the vial broke in my pocket.

Speaker 2 (19:45):
Yeah, so your gene just reaked. I mean it was
because Colonne or perfume like too much. It doesn't even
smell like the scent anymore. No, you smell like the
fragrance section of those stores, which is an instant.

Speaker 1 (19:58):
It's like a chemical fire.

Speaker 2 (20:00):
It's almost like have you ever have you ever smelled
like a skunk when they spray, but up close?

Speaker 1 (20:06):
Yeah, it's different. It's different.

Speaker 2 (20:07):
Chemical. Yeah, that's what.

Speaker 1 (20:09):
That was all all day. So I had a basket
in that and then you know, everyone's like, oh, what's
that smell? You know, and everyone's trying to find the source,
and I'm like, I don't know.

Speaker 2 (20:18):
And then it's awful over that is oh God, because
you have to you can't own it.

Speaker 1 (20:25):
And then you you trade. So here's how that's discovered,
right you Then in seventh grade you start trading class
You go to different classrooms per period, right, and so
that that like if you had two people in your
previous period that are they are now following.

Speaker 2 (20:37):
They're going to start to know, They're going to start
to know.

Speaker 1 (20:39):
You zone in on. Okay, it's it's one of the
three of us.

Speaker 2 (20:42):
Why is your pocket wet? Ryan? What's that? Oh man,
it's him, it's fucking him.

Speaker 4 (20:48):
Yep, I swear awful the things we do to be cool.
All right, let's go to lunch, because you brought that
up early. Way, I have one more awful, yes, yes, good,
keep these going.

Speaker 2 (21:03):
Really embarrassing and this is on your more your theme
of something you would say. So when I was I
was in kindergarten, so this is I was really little,
you know. We had nap time and shit and coughs
and everything, and it was so fucking embarrassing. I was
doing circle time or something. And when I was this age,

(21:24):
my mom, I have to find this picture. I have
it at home. The school picture that year is awful
was in front of a giant Crayola crayon crayon box.
The photo that was the backdrop. Yeah, and my mom
would want to brush my hair when I was little,
and I would run from her because I'd have nots
since she was not just fall enough, so I would
never let her brush my hair. So she takes me

(21:46):
to get a haircut one day and I think we're
just getting a normal haircut and they give me a
pixie cut. And I was so upset because at that
age I'm little, I look like a little boy. In
my opinion, I hated it. Right, So the pixie cut, haircut.
Not feeling good about myself. I'm five or six, you
know what I mean. Self esteem is real low because
it was haircut, and I'm sitting in this circle time

(22:10):
thing and I have a stomach ache and I told
my mom I had a stomach ache, but she thought
I was lying because I didn't want to go to school.

Speaker 1 (22:16):
Because of the haircut.

Speaker 2 (22:17):
Because the haircut exactly, and I, uh, I had a
stomach ache, and I was like, I don't know what
and it's rumbling, you know, And I didn't even I
swear to God, it wasn't even like I was trying
to like release anything or do anything. It just came
out of me in leggings the little girl would wear.

(22:45):
And I got so mortified that I stood up and
I ran to the bathroom, and I and the teacher
knew something was wrong, and so I stayed in there
for such a long time. She came to see what
was going on. I had no change of clothes, and
I think they had, like, you know, probably I don't
know if it was like a loss in found, like

(23:05):
an emergency something, and they called my mom, and my
mom picked me up, and I remember being like I
told you, I had a stomache like I was just
so embarrassed. I never wanted to go back to that class. Now.
The good thing about moving as much as I did.
I've talked about the stories. Yes, you just get to

(23:26):
start over every two years, you know, and every two
years I had a clean slate, no new for me
to make new friends. And it's funny because if anyone
could possibly imagine, I was very shy when I was
around five or six years old, extremely shy. I would
not say hi to people. I always had my head down.
I would be like picking around corner. I wouldn't. I

(23:47):
was not, you know, outgoing like I am now in
any way. I swear to God, moving every two years
forced me out of that because I was like, either
I'm gonna have no friends or I'm going to have
to start opening my mouth. You know what I'm saying.
I gotta start talking to people. And the worst part
about that, The worst part about moving every two years

(24:07):
when you get to a certain age where things, you know,
you're trying to be cool and you know whatever, the
cologne and the jeans and all of that right where
those things matter. The worst part of starting over every
two years was walking into the lunch room on the
first day of school, because everybody knows now when you
walk into a lunch room, everybody has their clicks, its prison,

(24:29):
it's and so every two years I'd have to walk in,
go get the tray, and I'd try to scope out
from when I walked into where can I sit? You know,
which table are the duds? Because I don't want to
sit there and start off this. You know, I'm saying
that people will know that I'm like a loser. I'm
not doing that. I'm going to set the standard. Nope.

Speaker 1 (24:47):
Meanwhile, hold on, the other school is going, hey, did
Jay the leggings shit or move.

Speaker 2 (24:52):
Shut up post in kindergarten. It's not, it's just stupid.
So anyway, that was brutal, But that brings us to
school lunches, you know, So go on with your school
lunch story.

Speaker 1 (25:03):
What if we never get to lunches in this episode,
we just keep kicking it because I got one before
we get to lunches. Okay, speaking on really quick, the
bodily functions of children, I'm I'm not even kidding. We're
gonna kick lunches down just one more okay, because as
you're telling me.

Speaker 2 (25:17):
This right down the road.

Speaker 1 (25:19):
Okay, so like and I've never thought about this until
now because I'm sitting here thinking about like how kids
are gross like kids, kids are gross, like they do
gross things, and they they their bodily functions are uncontrollable.
And why did kids just randomly puke so much? Do
you remember that? Like what you'd just be sitting there.

Speaker 2 (25:38):
I would get a stomach bug as a kid at home.
I'll never forget this, not even just randomly puke. The
style on which a child can throw up, I would
projectile Exorcist bonds.

Speaker 1 (25:49):
It's nuts.

Speaker 2 (25:49):
They would look like that from the movie like Peace.
I didn't even know anything green. I don't know what's happening.
It would just come out on a hose.

Speaker 1 (25:54):
No, like you're doing the ab season. Then the next
you're just it's it's just hitting the wall. And then
they come in and they throw that, they throw the
sawdust on it.

Speaker 2 (26:03):
The trajectory that a child's vomit has is is I've
never seen anything like. And then somehow your body regulates
itself as you get older and you can control like
I'm going to do this in a toilet, or like
I can make it in time. As a kid, there's
no warning. You're just sitting there, like you said, like
you're just singing a song and you're like, everything's great,
and you know, yeah you have four minutes too, and
it just comes out of you, out of nowhere. You're

(26:26):
literally feeling right his rain. There is not a stomach ache.
There is not now now you know what happens now
as an adult your mouth, your mouth, Yes, it just
is and you're like, oh god, oh God, is happening
and you have a second there's zero warning. There is
zero warning as a child, and it's so violent and
just hits you out of nowhere like I'm so sorry again,

(26:48):
No I feel better, and nope, you don't know, you don't, no,
you don't. Here comes. It's brillly intense.

Speaker 1 (26:54):
And then they they don't really even properly clean it
up at first. They wait till the end of the
school day, so so so then they come in and
embarrassly cover it with pink sawdust or something.

Speaker 2 (27:03):
You went you went to public school too, right, Yeah, Yeah,
it's just a total it's amazing, this ship, Like my
kids don't go to public school. And I'm starting to
tell Oliviaca just getting an Asian now she's nine, she
gets like a fancy and she doesn't understand. I go,
let me just tell you them. If you were in
public school, this wouldn't be what why what do you mean?
And then I'll have to teller it's like really no, no, yeah,
really no.

Speaker 1 (27:23):
If you wanted we had water, the whole class would
walk in a single file line down to the water
fountain and press your lips up against a green, crusted
metal cart and a little bit of water would dibble
drive at.

Speaker 2 (27:36):
And it would be like connected to the metal, so
you had to like fucking it was awful. And by
the way, like my daughter is like you, like, what
what kind of water bottle did you have in school?
I don't know water what we didn't know? What did
you have?

Speaker 1 (27:47):
A stand there?

Speaker 2 (27:49):
You've got seven drips of water, you know, once in
an eight hour period. And yet none of us were dehydrated,
by the way, somehow we made it. Actually, maybe we were,
and that's why we were vomiting.

Speaker 1 (28:01):
Oh god, maybe that is why we were punking from
the green, green crust on the water foat all, Right,
do you want to.

Speaker 2 (28:08):
Go to lunch? Let's go to lon kindergarten. Let's go
to lunch.

Speaker 1 (28:11):
Okay, were you a take your own lunch or were
you a hot luncher.

Speaker 2 (28:14):
I do not have a memory, a single memory of
a of a lunch bag, a brown paper bag, a
note from my mother. Nothing. I remember people that would
bring their lunch. But I remember those trays in the cafeteria,
and I remember not knowing sometimes what I was eating,

(28:35):
you know what I mean, or going like, oh that
looks good and it wasn't. I remember that, yeah, you
know what I mean. And I remember I remember the shittiest,
most unnutritional breakfasts of my life. Like my daughter now
is like kind of cereal. I'm like, no, you need protein.
Do you know that? I like sugar cereal every morning.

Speaker 1 (28:55):
I just went, you know, and I just went, well,
here's the thing. We never had breakfast at school, did you?

Speaker 2 (29:00):
I mean at home?

Speaker 3 (29:01):
Oh?

Speaker 1 (29:01):
Yeah, at home? Okay, because now they get at school.

Speaker 2 (29:05):
That's weird they do. Yeah, Oh no, wow, they really
got living it up, these kids with their water bottles
and the school.

Speaker 1 (29:13):
You know, there's weird things that I do feel fondly about,
like that that old you know, those big like square
rectangle pieces of just awful pizza, you know, with the
with the crumble of sausage on top, a couple of
crumbles my cardboard.

Speaker 2 (29:26):
But I liked it.

Speaker 1 (29:27):
I don't know, it just it was nice.

Speaker 2 (29:29):
Back then, they used to have like rolls that you
could just knock a kid out like they were just
like they wouldn't but you were so hard in the sale,
you know what I mean.

Speaker 1 (29:42):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Chicken fried steak was a favorite
of mine because they have like the audacity to call
it a biscuit. I'm like this, yeah, yeah, it was
literally a stone.

Speaker 2 (29:52):
This is not it is.

Speaker 1 (29:53):
And then if you ever if you ever saw behind
the curtain and you saw like the container that all
of this food was coming from, it was just a
white something like a dick Tracy Villain had like this.

Speaker 2 (30:04):
And then like all the women have like the hair
nets the thing and the flop it on the thanks
and you know, oh my god, you know that my
daughter at school, they have every single day they have
a different So we usually packed school. You have to
pack snacks and stuff too, now by the way, the
whole thing.

Speaker 1 (30:18):
But they can't they can't be uh, they have to
be like regulated because the kids that have the allergies.

Speaker 2 (30:24):
Yeah, h my god, please don't even get me started.
There was never a kid I'd never in my life
in school. I didn't even know there were not allergies.
When I was a kid, I didn't even know that
was could be a thing you're allergic to it. Nobody
said I'm allergic to cashews or fucking peanuts or anything.
And you know, there was a period of time in school,
and most public schools will do this now where you
cannot bring anything with peanut butter in it. You can

(30:46):
bring almond butter, you can bring whatever these other crunchy
butters are that they have, you know what I mean,
Like crunchy mom butters right that aren't real whatever the hell,
but you can't bring you can't bring now. In our
school you can, which is great, but has really cool
things for lunches. Every day, Like Monday is sandwich Monday,
and they can get like a hamburger or a hot dog,

(31:07):
but they get it from somewhere. Right on. Tuesday is
Taco Tuesday, but I think it's like Dell Taco. Oh,
Wednesday's Panda Wednesday, like panda Okay, what Thursday is pizza?
Thursday and they bring pizza from Costco. Okay, by the way,
Cosco has a fantastic pizza if it's oddly good, okay.
And then Friday is Chicken Friday and they get it

(31:29):
from Chick fil A. What yep. Now, if you want
to buy these lunches, I think, like it's like nine
dollars a pop or eleven, you know what I mean,
because they're getting it from these places. But it's like that,
oh my god, like there's no because it's this private school, smaller.
They don't even have a cafeteria like that like we
had in public school. So it's a totally different it's

(31:49):
a totally different thing. And it's just wild to me,
Like I'm like, you have it so good, dude, Yeah,
I mean I don't know how good she has it.
It is fast food th're eating every.

Speaker 1 (31:57):
Day, but no, it's it's good. And I will say
in this just does is And this isn't a knock on.
Of course, I went to school with brown bags. I'm
sure at various points. But I think once you hit again,
this is the threshold of trying to be cool, like
there became you know, of course you're like in first
second grade, you have a lunch box, It's like that's
normal because no one's judging. But then like when you

(32:19):
get older, it's like if if you come in with
like just like a shitty, blowney sandwich, you don't want
people to be like, oh, nice sandwich, you loser.

Speaker 2 (32:27):
No, And I you know, I've seen movies. Really people
are trading lunches and stacks. I've never witness realized. No,
I don't either.

Speaker 1 (32:33):
That doesn't happen. That's not real.

Speaker 2 (32:35):
No, it's not a thing. You go to the same
school the whole time, did I?

Speaker 1 (32:39):
Yeah, yeah, you want to hear something else? Crazy? And
I may or may not have shared this with you before,
but my mom was my So I was in a
like a weird program. I wasn't gifted and talented. I
don't want to talk about it. It's fine, like I
was in this. I got separated out in fifth grade, okay,

(32:59):
to be in like this different program for people with
different type of operational brains.

Speaker 2 (33:04):
Okay, it's just like it was just like the nineteen
eighties or nineties version of like a special needs class.
Before it was the opposite. No, okay, is that what
they told you?

Speaker 1 (33:18):
So my mother was my was my classroom.

Speaker 2 (33:21):
I am paying. Did you ever hear about his mom
and what happened?

Speaker 1 (33:23):
No?

Speaker 2 (33:24):
What? Oh, it's a really cool story that she got
a note from his teacher, okay, and he was sent
home from school and not to return, and she told
him that he was so smart that they couldn't keep
him in that school. So she was going to teach
him from home. Right, Okay, she taught him from home.

(33:44):
He obviously became a genius. Right, we all know the story.
Great years later, after his mom died, he found that
note and the note actually said that your son was
not smart enough for the school, and we were sending
them one and she kept it from him and he
turned out to be a genius. And I thought it
was the story I've ever heard. Yeah, so you want
to talk about that might be wrong and I might

(34:05):
not even be Einstein, but just you know, in fact,
that's a great story.

Speaker 1 (34:07):
I don't even know that was a yeah, yeah, yeah,
probably the same thing happened to me. I don't know whatever.

Speaker 2 (34:14):
I'm just kidding, so it made me think of it.

Speaker 1 (34:16):
Yeah, thank you, But no, I'm telling you, you start
entering these formative years, you want to talk about a real,
like a real stick in the spokes is having your
mom sit in the classroom, you know, with the because
she was my teacher's aide, she worked at the school.

Speaker 2 (34:29):
She was Oh, I didn't know that.

Speaker 1 (34:30):
Yeah, okay, yeah, so you yeah it is. And so
when Missy Stoke and Jenny Wagner and Jill sip Chinskir
all fighting over me as the sweatpants king, and I've
got to deflect all of these, you know, these ladies
in my sweats and guest jeans with the hole in it,
and Mom's there, you know, it throws.

Speaker 2 (34:47):
A little uh, it's you know, it's a little bit
of a wrench wet blanket. Are you saying that your
mom was cock blocking you and your special I.

Speaker 1 (34:55):
Would not have said it like that. You did love you.
But here's the thing. Now here's why I bring this
up because so that's fifth grade. But here's the thing.
This program that I was in encompasses fifth and sixth grade.
Guess who was my teacher's aid and also sixth grade
my mom. So now after sixth grade, you go to
the middle school, right, you go to seventh grade. This
is a whole new start. You got your lockers, you

(35:16):
got the whole freaking thing. You're all set like it's liberation. Okay,
here we go, like this is the taste of it's
pre high school. You're ready to go.

Speaker 2 (35:23):
I loved when I got a locker. I was so excited.

Speaker 1 (35:25):
Yes, right, guess who moves to seventh grade?

Speaker 2 (35:28):
Your mom?

Speaker 1 (35:29):
Yep, she's working in the principal's office. Oh god, yeah,
in the council office.

Speaker 2 (35:35):
School.

Speaker 1 (35:36):
What's up?

Speaker 2 (35:37):
Did you ever get in trouble at school?

Speaker 1 (35:39):
Not really. I did things that I should have gotten
in trouble for, like leaving a lot. The school was
in my backyard. Mom and dad still don't know this.
There were days I didn't want to be there and
I would just go home because they worked later than
I would, so I was just there.

Speaker 2 (35:51):
She was working at the school, or she was working
somewhere else at that time.

Speaker 1 (35:54):
Oh she got another job in like eighth grade or whatever.
So like once I got into high school and stuff,
now I would just leave.

Speaker 2 (35:59):
Yeah. Yeah, but middle school was seventh and eighth and
then high school was ninth. Right, yeah, so I remember. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (36:05):
My point was that that mom had me for a
good I think she had a grip for like three
four years. On that that whole scene.

Speaker 2 (36:10):
That's rough. That's a rough, that's a rough go, but
also very cute that she was there. I remember going
into ninth grade and being like, oh my god, what
are the bottom of the totem pole? Now you know
sh didn't sink in eighth grade, You're like, I'm in
the middle school. I'm like the head of the And
then you go into ninth grade and you're a little
piss ant, like nobody cares, you know what I mean,
And you gotta find your you gotta find and for me,

(36:33):
oh man, I'll tell you what.

Speaker 3 (36:34):
I had.

Speaker 2 (36:37):
A real bad experience in high school. This is a
crazy story. I got jumped in the parking lot up
on my way jumped. Ye yep, I'm gonna tell you
what happened on my way to my mom's car. She
was picking me up. We're gonna go.

Speaker 1 (36:54):
Look, I'm just gonna pause you one second. Jumped is
one of those things that I equate to, like, you know,
like back in the when we're kids, like you hear
of quicksand and you like hear of like gangs. I
was certain that I was going to be recruited by
a gang. And then also sink in quicksand, and at
that same token I was I was sure that I
would be jumped. Never have the ball.

Speaker 2 (37:12):
I No, I didn't have the gang thing, but I
was so one thousand percent certain that at any point,
if I saw like a sandy opening or area or
clearing in the woods, one thousand percent the ground was
going to swallow me in. That was quicksand. I actually
saw it once and I avoided it because I thought

(37:33):
maybe it would be It wasn't quicksand, because I don't
even know if quicksand is real. I don't know where
it's found in the world. I have no idea what's happening.
But the amount of it that I thought was going
to be prevalent in my life totally.

Speaker 1 (37:42):
I'm with you and I stop dropping your rolling for
a fire, I thought for sure. I had to master that.
I've never stop dropped or rolled.

Speaker 2 (37:49):
No, And we had to like drill it, you like
throw your body on the ground like you were gonna
And I'm like, what like or jumping out of the
fire drills on the bus, like where you got to
like drop you know you have to jump out the back.

Speaker 1 (37:58):
Yeah, you never had. So I threw through being jumped
in that same category of things that I was certain
would have happen.

Speaker 2 (38:04):
Well, maybe I shut up too, because I wasn't worried
about it, and then it happened. So I'm walking across
the parking lot and my mom is waiting in her
Canary yellow Ford Mustang. Yeah, okay, I could see her
from a mile away, and she's waiting for me because
I'm supposed to go with her to go see our
new house because we're going to be moving again. Okay.

Speaker 1 (38:23):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (38:24):
And as I'm walking and I'm going to tell you
this from memory, the next thing I remember is I'm
down on the pavement in the parking lot. I didn't
even see it coming, and I look up at who's
doing this and I can't even get Like it was
so out of nowhere that I couldn't even get my bearings. Yeah,

(38:44):
and a couple minutes later this went on for quite
a while.

Speaker 1 (38:49):
The what's quite a while?

Speaker 2 (38:52):
Oh, God, like, no, shit, probably a solid five to
ten minutes, no, which is a long time when you're
like literally getting hit and I'm just going, like, what
has happened? Like I don't even know what's happening. And
so a teacher finally notices because her boyfriend, the girl's boyfriend,
is standing there doing nothing right, and pulls her off

(39:12):
of me. This all happened because she thought I said
something about her father, which I never said. I actually
never said, okay, and it was a full circle story.
So I stand up and I immediately just keep going
for my mom's car because I don't want to look
at anyone. I'm so embarrassed. I don't know how many
kids are around watching what just a cur I'm mortified, right,

(39:36):
And it's funny because like growing up in all these
schools every two years, like I was never you know,
I always I was friends with everyone. I was friends
with the popular kids. I was friends with the kids
that nobody would talk to, you know, everybody. It didn't matter.
And so this particular person and I were actually really
good friends, and her and her her brothers were like

(39:57):
one of the most popular families in the school. So
I didn't know what happened. It took me a while
to figure out what happened. So I just keep walking
towards my mom's car, and she rolls her window down
and she's in confusion because she doesn't recognize me. I
have no idea what I look like. I have no
idea what's happening. I get in the car and as
I'm getting towards the car, she's like, what happened? So

(40:20):
she wants to take me back inside to like I go, no, no, no,
we can't. You have to leave the school right now.
I'm not going back inside the school. I look down
at my wrist. I still have a scar from it
on my wrist, and the cartilage of my wrist is
just fully exposed. It's not even bleeding, because that's how
like to the whatever it is. And as she pulls
up to a neighbor's house to ask them to pick
up my little sister because my little sister's like, excuse me,

(40:42):
a toddler by then, she's like, I have to take
her to like whatever urgent care, emergency and whatever she
was going to do at that time, because I don't know.
I don't know if there were their urgent cares. I
don't think there were, right that was it's a new
thing I feel. Anyway, we go and I have like
a cut on the bridge of my nose. My eye
is completely swollen, my lips cut in three places, and

(41:03):
the doctor's like you need to wake her up every
half hour in case she has a concussion. I had
a huge lump on my head because I guess I
was ducking and stuff. It was wild. So we lived
in Pennsylvania at the time.

Speaker 1 (41:17):
In Pennsylvania, there is they're a good ending on this,
because I'm I'm just.

Speaker 2 (41:20):
Ending on this. So my mom ends absuing this girl
family and we have to go to this Commonwealth thing
in Pennsylvania. Like that means that the judge wars like
a white weight. It's a whole thing, right, And she
gets like whatever the worst punishment she can get is,
and we both get I don't even know if I
think I got suspended too, but it was more like
for me to heal because I was not going to
go back to school looking like that and probably like

(41:44):
just get don't walk in here lookingly, so save yourself.
We moved shortly after, thank God, which is great. So
this is I don't know how old am I I'm
about maybe fourteen, yeah, thirteen when this happens. Thirteen And
I moved to LA when I'm twenty one or twenty
two years old, right, and my Space is a thing

(42:05):
then yeah, yeah, And on my space. This girl reaches
out to me, She finds me, yeah, and tells me
that now she's a mom and she's so sorry for
what she did. Oh my god, this has been something
she's thought about for years and as a parent, she

(42:25):
can't imagine one of her kids experiencing that, and that
no matter what happened, she had no right to ever
lay her hands on me for any reason. And I
told her, you know, of course, was like, thank you
so much, and I was like I honestly, also, I
never said it about like anything about your I don't
know what happened, Like, we cleared it up. It was
actually beautiful, and then we follow each other on Facebook
and her kids are it's really great. She followed Luca's

(42:48):
story and it was awesome. So it did have a
happy ending, but it was definitely the most embarrassing thing.
And I was happy to be moved out of there
and started a new school after that, obviously, you know
what I mean.

Speaker 1 (42:58):
Yeah, good good story. I mean, not terrible story, but
a good ending.

Speaker 2 (43:02):
But yeah, people, you know, like when you grow up
and you become an adult, you realize, like as a kid,
people just do dumb, dumb shit. When you're a kid,
you know what I mean, Like, yeah, really they really do.

Speaker 1 (43:11):
Let's bullet point a couple more things before we dip
out of here.

Speaker 2 (43:15):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (43:17):
Two teachers that stand out to you and for what reason?

Speaker 2 (43:20):
Two tough. So I had this English teacher that I
loved and she was amazing. Now I don't even know
where I lived, what stayed I was in, but she
was so great. She was so fun. And then I
have two others that are a close, really tied kind

(43:42):
of kind of no too. There was so I have
a dorky fact. I know that you have your special
needs thing or whatever, your smart stuff. You're oh, why,
I'm just joking. I'm just joking, Ryan, That's super cool.
But I was in something called ah huh, it was
called the National Art Honor Society, and it was because

(44:07):
of the ceramics thing that I did. Right now, one
of the teachers that I loved was this teacher named
mister Wright, and he was in a an art class
and we all had to make our big project was
we had to make a color wheel with every single
color from scratch ourselves. Right, This teacher had never given

(44:31):
anyone better than like a B minus. He was a
real hard ass. He was that kind of a teacher.
And I made my color wheel and I turned it
in and he gave me not only did I get
an A? Is it an A minus? Or and it
doesn't even matter. I saw it, and I was so stoked.

(44:52):
Then he asked if he could please keep it for
the class to show everybody and keep it up as
exceptional artwork. Yes, and it was just I was just
on top of the worldemister. I just love this teacher.
And then probably the other one that's a close second
was I took a creative writing class in high school

(45:14):
and my teacher and I forgot about this class until
very recently, actually loved how I could tell a story.
And he was also someone that was very hard to impress,
very hard, you know what I mean. The of these
teachers that are like you know.

Speaker 1 (45:30):
And once that's the thing, is that that your goal
then as a goal oriented person, is like I'm going
to get it. I'm going to get them.

Speaker 2 (45:36):
I want to be like the teacher's favorite, like I
want to do a good job. And but it was
It's funny because I just realized as I'm saying this,
like my my three favorite teachers were like you know
English right, like words like writing, creative writing. And then
this art teacher anyway, it was yeah, they were just
the best. They liked the teachers that go to bat
for you and they just like, yeah, they're just great,

(45:58):
what about you.

Speaker 1 (45:59):
Well too, But they're for very different reasons. I mean
I had a lot of favorite, good, good, great teachers
that really shaped me. But the two that just stand
out for whatever reason. My kindergarten teacher, Miss Vano, which
rhymes with mano irene Vano. I will never forget doing,
you know, sitting around in circle doing story time and
seeing her in her nylons, pantyhose whatever you'd call them

(46:22):
back then, just a big box of cigarettes. And she
would just get up at every every so often and
just go out and and and just just change different.
It was a totally different time. I mean, she might
have been smoking in the classroom at some point, I
don't know. And then my second grade teacher, uh, missus Anderson,
Darlene Anderson, I still know her first name. She was

(46:43):
obsessed with Elvis, and that's how I learned, like really
who Elvis was. Everything in the classroom was Elvis, like
everything everything the clocksroom, oh, it was we were in
we were at Graceland, yeah, her class, Yeah, we were.
So those are two that just stand out to me.
Let's bounce over here. The computer lab.

Speaker 2 (47:00):
Did you have it?

Speaker 1 (47:01):
Yes or no? Yes?

Speaker 2 (47:02):
And I was very very good at like how many
words for a minute? I remember that.

Speaker 1 (47:07):
Did you have games work on trail? Did you play
orgun Trail? Yes? Yeah, I'm a floppy disk. Yes. Number Munchers?
Do you remember number Munchers?

Speaker 2 (47:15):
Yes? Yes, Oh my god, it's so fun.

Speaker 1 (47:17):
We're walking in.

Speaker 2 (47:18):
I got in trouble. I don't know, I'm circling back
to this a little bit, but I remember I think
I I cut class only a couple of times, but
I would get in trouble. Oh man. It was brutal.
We would smoke in the bathroom and the stalls and
would pass the cigarette underneath the stalls, you know, and
I got I got in real trouble for that one day.
That was really bad. And I'm like, how do these

(47:39):
when we didn't though, I'm like, how do they not know?
But can you smell a cigarette? Like, yeah, there's actual smoke.
We had vapes like this was a cigarette. You hear
the lighter which doesn't ever light on the first you
know what I mean. Try It was just unbelievable, the
ship that like we would get away with and do
that that there's no I don't I'm sure it's what

(48:00):
goes on now, but I just don't get it. Like
there was even a point where we were in like
study hall and we were like we had to go
to the bathroom, and they had to take us to
the bathroom and we're still doing it and I'm not
saying anything, and I'm like they got to know having
one in there too, or they're like, you know, you know,

(48:20):
pass it down one more stall. I don't know what's happening,
Like they're just on board with this. Like as an adult,
I go, you don't not know. As a kid, I
thought I was pulling one over. I't get the all
out of here, like yeah, and oh my god, coming
back to the classroom smelling like it. I remember I
had a locker next next to Stacey. We're really good friends.
I can't remember her last name because I moved three

(48:41):
hundred times and her locker was next to mine, and
every day she would come in. She always wore an
oversized sweatshirt and she opened that locker she would just
wreak of cigarettes, rereeak of them, where I'd be like,
oh my god, like my locker's gonna smell like this.
Like I hated it because I I think I was
before I tried smoking too, and I was just like,
oh my god. But that was Stacy like. And you'd

(49:02):
go to her house and you'd be like, everybody's like
the ash trays just like never emptied, you know what
I mean. You can't even see the bottom of the
last yeah, amber colored glass ash trays. Her dad had,
you know what I'm talking about, Like you if you
could kill somebody with one of those easily, you know
what i mean, like by accident, I feel like. And
it was just that was her life, like she and
then she'd go in and like like light up a
cigarette and not do her homework, and You're like, who
what is this life there? You're living? What is happening here?

(49:24):
Do you know what I mean? Like who are these people?
And like nobody cared. And I'd come home, I was like,
do your homework right, And I'm like what ANDID what
are you doing in your room? And I'm like nothing,
But like it was a totally different atmosphere. I'm like,
this is insane. How are people living like this? Love
Stacy's parents they were so cool.

Speaker 1 (49:43):
Oh god, the loose parents. When you found a friend
with loose parents, that was the house.

Speaker 2 (49:48):
I was like, hey, Mom, I'm gonna go sleep over this.
I've never met her parents yet, You're not gonna want to.

Speaker 1 (49:51):
But tomorrow, yeah, they might not even be there.

Speaker 2 (49:54):
Oh yeah, for all I know.

Speaker 1 (49:55):
Last, last one, last little nugget that I have on
my sheet of notes, I wrote, Recess was a real
wild West.

Speaker 2 (50:03):
Oh my god, the rules, Oh my god, I felt dude.
I was, I was outside and there was a hill
and I was like, I don't know, I was definitely
not running. I can't imagine that was happening, but like
I must have been like walking fast or something. And
it had rained the day before, and so the ground
was slippery and my and I had flats on, and
I slipped and I went down the hill on both
knees and I when I stood up, both of my

(50:26):
kneecaps were completely skinned, like like the.

Speaker 1 (50:29):
Entire thing gravel inside your skin. Yeah, yep, when I
tell you.

Speaker 2 (50:33):
And of course I get home, Moms, just like dunking
peroxide over and just it looks like.

Speaker 1 (50:38):
Like just like like Freddy Krueger's face or something.

Speaker 2 (50:41):
Just yea Ryan, it took. I will never forget the
two huge scabs I had one on each knee for
I don't even know how I felt like the whole
school year. It wouldn't like they it took so long
for them to heal, you know what I mean. I
saw scars from them as a forty something year old.
It's unbelievable. It's awful.

Speaker 1 (50:58):
But but if you think about just the concept of
recess as a kid, right, you're like in third grade
and you have like one recess monitor that's what they
were called back then.

Speaker 2 (51:06):
Yeah, like three hundred kids.

Speaker 1 (51:08):
Yeah, and you just let all of these little monsters
run wild with this equipment made of metal, and then
some of them are over there, you know, playing football
and running against you know, you're passing into a brick
wall like there was It was just that was that was.

Speaker 2 (51:21):
Just someone's scream crying in the corner. You don't know
what happened, you know, it's like a whole thing.

Speaker 1 (51:25):
Yeah, it was. It was just it was that was
a total free for all. It's amazing that we made
it out of recess.

Speaker 2 (51:32):
It's amazing that we didn't and none of them we
didn't even know. We're so busy playing and wrecking each
other that we didn't even notice. Like and if there
was any creeps out there but the fence, none, you
know what I mean.

Speaker 1 (51:40):
It didn't matter. And the other thing about this is
the last thing that like kind of recess, but also
gym class. It was like gym class is like you know,
you'd sit at lunch depending on your schedule, and like
you'd have that that crappy lunch that we talked about
and you drink like a two pints of milk and
then be like, all right, now go run a mile.

Speaker 3 (51:56):
You know.

Speaker 1 (51:56):
It's like we just really we just there was no
there was no concern.

Speaker 2 (52:01):
Nobody cared.

Speaker 1 (52:02):
We made it out. But you know what we did,
and we made it up.

Speaker 2 (52:05):
We made it and I'm going to say this, but
better off than a lot of these kids now that
are getting just coddle to ship. It's unbelievable.

Speaker 1 (52:14):
I know, and I know we sell those bitter old people.
But we made it up.

Speaker 2 (52:17):
We are we we have every right to. We were
drinking fake milk, We're drinking fake water down for the
milk and cardboard pizza. So I think we've are ready
to speak on that, you know what I mean, we
earned it.

Speaker 1 (52:28):
Last thing we're going to speak on. We are going
to take a brief pause on this podcast.

Speaker 2 (52:35):
We are we are. You know, there's podcasts some have seasons,
some don't, uh, and this one does. Yeah, so you
know that's uh, that's what we're going to do. We're
going to take a little breather and uh, you know, yeah,
this is the final bell of season one. I like it.

Speaker 1 (52:55):
We're going to take that break. Think of it like
summer vacation, except with you know, maybe some more napping,
fewer dodgeballs to the face.

Speaker 2 (53:02):
And if you miss us too much, just listen to
our old episodes. They're like leftovers, still good, but maybe
even better the second time around, and nothing like school lunch.

Speaker 1 (53:10):
I promise you season two, the fall season will be
here before you know it. So sharpen your pencils, pack
your lunch or buy the hot lunch, or don't at all,
and don't forget the Caprice Sons and stay out of
attention until then. Class dismissed