Episode 2 | REALationships - Say It Anyway with Ryan and Jay

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Today's episode is all about relationships, you know, from what
makes the great ones to the sometimes messy, complicated ones.

Speaker 2 (00:06):
Like my relationship with my dog Penny, which is mostly
just her begging for attention.

Speaker 1 (00:10):
Or my relationship with my husband Clark, which is mostly
just me begging for attention.

Speaker 2 (00:15):
So buckle up because whether it's love, family, friendship, or pets,
we're diving into all kinds of relationships right now. All right,
episode two of Say It Anyway with Ryan and Jay.
That would be me and her. Hi, her, Hi? Can
we just get this out of the way right up top.
We're gonna talk about relationships, as we just said, but
you are you have an impediment today?

Speaker 1 (00:34):
I do? Okay, I do? You guys are not listening
to two dudes. I lost my voice a few days
ago and it's it's coming back. It's not where it
needed to be for today, but I have to be
true to our title and say It Anyway. I came anyway,
you know was.

Speaker 2 (00:48):
The what was the is shoe?

Speaker 1 (00:49):
I don't know, you know, it's funny. So I went
and got a this is so weird. I went and
got my teeth cleaned last Monday, and you know they
give you a whole oral exam. And she's looking at
my gums and everything and she goes, your throat's really red.
And I was like really, and she's like, yeah, do
you feel like? I was like, I feel totally fine
and I did. That was Monday Thursday night. My voice
was like gone, Like I was like scream whispering at

(01:10):
the kids. It was really weird. Yeah, and then you know,
it's where are we at. It's almost a week later,
and it's good.

Speaker 2 (01:15):
Yeah, I know it's a thing. I know you're feeling
some type of way about it.

Speaker 1 (01:19):
Yeah, it's a little Janis chop. I mean, it could
be a good thing. You know. My mom called me
this morning and she's like, good luck today, but you
don't need it because you open your mouth and just
like perfection flows out. I was like, I don't know
who the hell you are, but this is the most
amazing thing you've ever said to me. And she's like,
but you don't sound good. Jay. I'm like, okay, you
know what, this is not helpful exactly. She had to
like throw that in there. I was like, cool, well thanks,
She's like it's like no, it's kind of sexy. It's
like a nine hundred number thing. I'm like, I don't

(01:40):
think that's a thing anymore, and that is not the
vibe of this podcast. But I appreciate your time. So yeah,
we're just going to power through.

Speaker 2 (01:47):
I know it's fine, and I don't know if you
want to touch I mean kiuds. Look, we've said this
is about relationships, and that could be like we said
with parents. Yeah, yeah, but I want to can we
start with I really today? I want because you're married,
have kids? How long have you been married? E when
asked me that today? And I feel like you guys
have known each other for what like almost twenty years
or something.

Speaker 1 (02:05):
Clark and I, Yeah, we met in two thousand and nine,
so it's been sixteen almost, Yeah, sixteen years. We have
a very funny story we've been married. Even though we've
known each other for sixteen years, we have been married.
This July will be thirteen years, which is no, twelve years. Sorry,

(02:26):
I'm married in twenty thirteen, so it will be twelve
years this July, which is weird because you know, sixteen
years and twelve years means we were not married for
four years, which I took issue with. I'm gonna tell
a story.

Speaker 2 (02:36):
Please wait, okay, are you going to explain why you
took issue with it?

Speaker 1 (02:40):
Yes? Yes, absolutely so. First of all, let me just
say this, like I feel like and Ryan, you could
speak to this because you know you're single now, right.
I feel like as you get older and you date,
when you're older, you don't waste time, Like you know,
you meet someone, you know what's going on, you know
what I mean, You're like, either this is like a
life partner or not, like what am I doing? Unless
you're looking to just dick around. You're kind of like

(03:03):
if you don't, if you know that that's not it,
you move on. You know, if you know that it's it.
You hear these people are like, oh my god, they
got engaged after like three months, and you're like, but
when you know, you know, when you're older, you know
what I mean, you're not trying to waste time.

Speaker 2 (03:12):
I think too. By the way, I'm going to jump
in Jay as someone who is single, like I some
people take a I don't want to say rejection, but
like if someone is like, yeah, I don't know if
I'm feeling that, like some people could take that poorly
or in a negative way. I feel like it does
you a favorite.

Speaker 1 (03:27):
One hundred percent? Don't waste my time? Yes, yeah, like so,
because then you could be like five ten years deep
going like what are we doing? And you just lost
all that time.

Speaker 2 (03:35):
That was my last relationship. I don't even know how
it started, why it started. And then I'm like, oh
my god, that was three years and we had a
condo and like what Yeah, this was terrible. It was
terrible from the start. I knew it, but I didn't
act on it right. And then now you're in this hole.

Speaker 1 (03:48):
Yeah, it's not the best time. You can't get back,
you know. So, and now you're three years older and
you're like cool. Yeah, so with Clark and I and
so something to know about me and Clark to our
core and I think you would have with me on
this is that he definitely would because he says this
to me all the time. And I don't know if
it's because I'm from the East Coast and he's from
LA which is also weird because I feel like him
and seven other people are natively from Los Angeles. But

(04:10):
that's fine. I do like everyone's a transplant, right, you
are right? I goo? Yeah, So I am very like
I need everything done yesterday. I have no patience. If
you give me something to do, I will do it
immediately most of the time. Like you know, even if
I if I don't want to do something, I try
to get it done as soon as possible because I

(04:30):
just don't want to have to deal with it, you know.
But my husband is he He's changed a bit recently,
but definitely like the king of procrastination. An example of
this will be like I'll be like, hey, babe, can
you change this light bulb? Which I don't I'll do myself,
but let's just say that that's the example, and he'll go,
you want to do it right now? And I go,
what do you mean? He goes, you want me to

(04:51):
change the light bulb now? I said, I don't understand
the question. If I wanted you to do tomorrow, I
would have waited to ask you tomorrow. Like in the
time we're talking about this, at least the old light
could have been out. Do you no matter know what
we're doing, this is taking this is the whole conversation
is taking too long. So I have no patience. And
I know that that's not great because there are things
you have to have patients for. It's always been a
very weakness of mine, for sure. But when we met,

(05:12):
I worked I worked for someone, and at the time
he was doing like audio video work where you come
like install TVs and like rich people's houses and make
it look like you can't see the wires and it's
all done really professionally, right, That's what he was doing
at the time. So I was an assistant for someone
and I let him in, you know, I was the person,
like the coordination person. When he arrived. I didn't think
anything of him, He didn't think anything of me. Were

(05:33):
I was just being cordial. I let him into the house.
He did his thing. It was a couple of days
of work, so he returned the next day. On the
third day, I was out sick and I was home
and the mother of the person I worked for called
me and she's like, I just want you to know
that I gave Clark your number. I said, who the
fuck is Clark? You know, I didn't even know. He
wasn't even on my rader And she's like, he's the

(05:55):
he was the audio video guy. I go, what do
you what? What are you talking? Why'd you give him
my number? And she's like, cause he's single. And I
told him you're single. I said, what did you tell him?
What do you mean? Like, I was totally not. I
was like, oh man, And at that time I was
not interested in dating anyone. I was enjoying being single.
I think I was, Oh, we're talking about sixteen years
twenty five, right, and so yeah, it was a good time.

(06:18):
So I was just not it wasn't on my radar.
I was like, whatever, okay, fine, And so I had
made the way quick.

Speaker 2 (06:24):
I'm sorry, don't lose your place. I do feel like
that's a violation for someone to say, hey, I gave
this person yeah.

Speaker 1 (06:29):
Right, yeah, but this family was a little bit violation.
He that's another story for another time. So they weren't
the whatever it does matter, okay. So he as I'm
talking to her, I'm getting a call and it's a
note number I don't know, and I'm like, oh god,
oh god, it's the audio video guy. You know what
I mean. She was answerested and I'm not answering. I'm gonaet.
Let it go to voicemail. So I let to go
to a voicemail. I hang up with her, and I

(06:51):
remember the message like it was yesterday, and I checked
my voicemail and he's like, hey, this is Clark, the
audio video guy. I just wanted to know if maybe
he wanted to go out for like coffee or like
a meal of food or not. You know, it's totally
fine either way. And I could just hear the nervousness
in his voice. Was like, I have to call this
guy back. This is like you know, like I was like,
it kills me.

Speaker 2 (07:11):
I gotta give him credit though, because a call, yeah,
a call is it's a bold move. That's a strong move.
A call before a text.

Speaker 1 (07:19):
Yeah, there was no text. Wow. So I called him back, yeah,
And I think I don't know if he answered the
first time or if you called me right back or
what happened. But we got on the phone, yeah, and
I said, yeah, let's meet, you know, let's meet for lunch.
We had like it was like a day It was
a day thing that that part is important for later
in the story. So it's daytime. We decide we're going
to go to this pizza place called Coyote or Kiyote

(07:40):
or something no Coyote on in to look a lake.

Speaker 2 (07:43):
Okay.

Speaker 1 (07:43):
We both like pizza. We're like, okay, we're gonna do
this place. So we go there and we meet there,
we both like, we don't pick each other up, and
I threw laundry in before I left. This was very
relaxed for me. I didn't care. I wasn't there to
impress anybody, Like I was like, I don't even want
to be on a date right now. Also, as a sidebar,
I the one thing I am so grateful about not
being single is I absolutely detest first dates. I am

(08:04):
a second episode type gal if you know what I mean,
because uh pun intended, because I get very very very
very very nervous, Like I would get like my palms
would be soaking with sweat, nervous about the anticipation of
a first kiss. Most people love that. They think it's exciting,
they think it's how do you not? I know I

(08:25):
would dread it, and I would, and I'll tell you why,
because I've looked at this like.

Speaker 2 (08:28):
Wait, wait, okay, that moment, that moment where you know
it's about to happen, and like this is either going
to be.

Speaker 1 (08:33):
Great or horrible, and you're like it's a horrible.

Speaker 2 (08:37):
Listen, So like when you're when you know that moment,
like when you're getting closer to you like not sure,
and like yeah, you can almost like feel.

Speaker 1 (08:43):
That, you know what, I like, feel good, but you're
just talking about it. I have a stomach ache. Yeah,
I I don't like it because I'm.

Speaker 2 (08:50):
So I don't think that's sexy.

Speaker 1 (08:51):
Oh no, I could the list a thousand other things
better sexier. Absolutely not. I think that because I'm a
perfectionist and I don't I don't want awkward moment. And
here's the thing, even if the person's a great kisser,
and even if you guys are like perfectly like in sync,
there's a split second of figuring it out right, like
figuring out how does the other person kiss? Are the
is it a lot of time? What are we doing?
Like what's happening? Are we even doing a tongue in

(09:12):
the first what are we doing like that? It's it
just would give me such anxiety. So at the end
of the date, and I was definitely off my game.
I wasn't my normal sarcastic self. I wasn't telling jokes.
I was very kind of like, get this over with
a little bit, and so I and that's in his
defense because of what he said after the date. So

(09:33):
I leave, we know then we go on a walk.
We go on to walk into Luca Lake, and we're
walking around to Luca Lake, and I think one of
us even says at one point, like how it would
be so nice, like I have a house here one day,
like oh my god, j I'm not together, not together,
just saying like this is a beautiful place to live,
like just a normal conversation. And and then I go,
we're getting like a little bit far away from people,
do you know what I mean? And I'm like, oh god,

(09:53):
it's gonna happen. I can't. So I'm like, all right, well,
I gotta go because I have laundry. And like literally
is what I said to the abruptly and the date
and I to my car and I'm like, oh, this
isn't right. So I'm like, I give him hug. I'm
I thank you so much and we should do this
again or whatever the fuck I said, and I got
on my I blocked out, and remember I got in
my car and I left and I went back home,
and I did. I had a legitimate and laundry and
it was not an excuse. Later I found out that

(10:14):
he said to one of his friends, she's boring, but
I'd hit it and I was.

Speaker 2 (10:19):
He said this, yep, And.

Speaker 1 (10:20):
I was like, first of all, I'm a lot of things, Ryan,
I am not boring.

Speaker 2 (10:23):
I would never that would Yeah, I would not. But
in his defense, it sure sounds like you showed up
to be boring.

Speaker 1 (10:30):
I did, and he will. That's what his defense. He's like,
hang on, you were not yourself, And he's right, I
was not myself, So I'll give him that.

Speaker 2 (10:36):
Sure, but was boring almost like a defense mechanism, like
I don't want to do this and I'm just gonna
like just phone this in.

Speaker 1 (10:42):
I don't. Yeah, I really hate first date, so I
think I was just sitting there like just fucking pete.
Then I'm like, why are we eating? Pizza? Is such
a messy thing to eat on a first date? Like
what am I doing? Fucking cheeses or basil on my teeth?
Like I was like, I got so like into my
own head about it that I couldn't enjoy it. I
was like, this is brutal. Also, why do I even care?
I want to? I don't want to do anybody.

Speaker 2 (10:58):
So she's boring.

Speaker 1 (10:59):
But i'd yeah, and so every now and then to
this day. That was his takeaway to this day. Every
now and then, when it's chaos in the house and
the kids are screaming and they're shit going on and
my mom's yelling about something she's visiting, I'll turn to
him and I go, you're still bored because it's like,
that's not me. But anyway, so we we go on
this date. He returns back to the house to do
more work and said, uh, matchmaker, I guess talks to

(11:23):
him and comes up to me and she's like, he's
gonna ask you again. I'm like, he is, like, that
did not go out. Okay, we wanted to hit it.
I guess right.

Speaker 2 (11:30):
He was willing to play just.

Speaker 1 (11:31):
Don't kiss me.

Speaker 2 (11:31):
We can do whatever you want, slog through the boredom,
just to go.

Speaker 1 (11:36):
Yeah, like, just don't don't as long as don't kiss me.
Yeah sure, So so he we go, so, oh, here's what.
So then he asked me out on the weekend and
then he forgot. He said, he forgot, And this is
what unleashed the true jay of my sarcasm in bullshit.
He texts me and he's like, and now this one.

(11:57):
We're talking on the phone and we're talking for like hours,
you know, and I'm like, okay, there's like this is
this is I like this guy? Fine? So he goes.
I totally forgot. I had to go up north to
visit my grandfather this weekend, so I can't take you
wherever if we were movies or whatever. And I said, oh,
this is this is off to a great starts our
second date and you're already standing me up. And he

(12:19):
laughed at that, and I was like, okay, good, he
thinks I'm funny. So then I was like so then
I so then whatever the rest is hit. Then he
came over once, like a week later. A week later
he came over. He had laundry to do. I was like,
just bring your laundry over. You could do it here
because I had to washer on dryer in my apartment,
and he didn't. He came over, he got called to
go do a shoot. He had to go film something,
and while he was gone, I like did all of
his laundry and fold it. Yes. I folded in yes. Yes.

(12:42):
So at this point I'm not a real amend man
you but at this don't kiss me, but I'll do
your fucking laundry right Like you don't.

Speaker 2 (12:47):
Want to kiss this guy, but you're willing to fold
his chonies. Well, by then we kissed, Oh you would kissed?
Oh yeah, the first time he came over. Yeah, all
the things were, all the things, All the things are Okay,
this sounds awful.

Speaker 1 (12:58):
It doesn't matter. I ended up marrying him, so I'm
not It's fine. But the thing is is that my
point on this whole thing was that Clark and I
were not love at first sight at all. I never
believed in that. I was very like, I'm a practical person,
like I think that you could create love with just
about anyone if you have enough in common. Not that

(13:18):
I'm not saying that I settled for Clark. I loved
my husband very much, but it was not that. It was.
It was literally an arranged thing, right, and we both
very much grew on each other pretty fast, me faster
than him. I did say, and I'm sorry, babe, I'm
gonna say this, but I did say that I told
him I loved him first, and he said thank you ooh,
and it was soul crushing and I was like, what
do you mean? And he's like, what do you mean?

(13:38):
Do you want to like lie to him? Like one
hundred percent, yes, yeah, you just say I love you too.

Speaker 2 (13:42):
Do what I know? You know what's crazy?

Speaker 1 (13:44):
And we were like laying in bed. It was so awkward.
Oh my god. Yeah, we had a boss rolled over
and I cried a little bit. To be honest with you,
we had.

Speaker 2 (13:50):
A boss here who was married at this point, I
think they had three kids and his wife such a
sweet lady. The boss was not a sweet person. And
when we would be in with him and this is
a married couple, three kids, this is like they're in it.
She would say I love you, and we knew we
could hear her, and he would say thanks, like married,
not your first time selling? Why he would just say

(14:11):
thanks as a married man? Absolutely, what is that?

Speaker 1 (14:13):
I don't know. It's awful. It's just not like I
don't know. Here's the thing. So the other ways that
Clark and I are obviously, eventually he said I love
you and it was fine, but like then we got engaged.
But then we were like he and he will fight
me on this. I talked to him about this morning
because I told I was going to tell the story
we got engaged, and he had some weird like thing
where he was like, we have to be engaged for
two years he's going to say this is not true.

(14:35):
I'm telling you whatever, this is my truth. Because I
was like, what do you mean? What now? At this
point I did the math and I'm like, by the
time I get married, I'm gonna be twenty nine years old. Right,
my mom had had me when she was twenty nine.
He's told me he's won a couple of kids.

Speaker 2 (14:49):
Now.

Speaker 1 (14:49):
Also, let me just backpedal. Before I met Clark, I
was like, I'm not having kids. I'm not getting married.

Speaker 2 (14:54):
Why didn't you want kids? Because, let me guess, because
you liked your body?

Speaker 1 (14:58):
No, I didn't, which looking back, I should have. You
know when you look back at a picture yourself and
you thought you were fat and you're like, actually looked great.
Yeah that's me. So he because because I think it's
because so between my dad passed away in twenty eighteen,
but between my mom and dad there were five marriages
and four kids. And I was like, I don't want that.

(15:20):
I don't want to. I don't want to. Like I
was looking at my kids yesterday and I was like,
they're playing and stuff, and I'm like, these guys have
no idea how good they have it? Like I didn't
actually mind that. I came from like a quote unquote
broken home. My parents got divorced when I was three,
so I was pretty young. I think when you're older,
it's probably harder, you know, Like my nine year old
daughter would respond way differently to that than like, Luca, do.

Speaker 2 (15:39):
You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 (15:40):
He's three, But like I remember more than I probably
should for being three years old. But growing up, I
loved it, like I didn't. I would never be at
the park and see like a kid with their parents
and be like I wish that was me. Like I
loved having two birthdays, two Christmases, Like That's how I
knew at a young age. I loved attention because I would
get double of everything. My dad would do something for me,
and my mom would do something for me. Yeah, but

(16:00):
I don't know. I just was like I don't want that,
Like I don't. I wasn't in my twenties. I was
just like, eh, with kids, it wasn't a thing. And
so Clark said he wanted the three kids, and I said,
I'll definitely do one, you know, probably two because you
don't want to grow up by yourself, so sure. And
then just I feel like like a year two yearsgo. No, no,
year ago. He was like asking me about a third

(16:21):
We were talking about a third kid, and I was like,
absolutely not. Let me tie something. Clark and I had
a conversation early in a relationship about what would like
be a deal breaker for us, right and we this
is before we had kids, and we said it would
be cheating, Like there is no way we could come
back from that. And when he brought up a third kid,
I was like, here's here's an exception. You can have

(16:41):
your third kid. It's not coming out of this body.
So you go find her you have your third baby.
I will invite that woman into my house for Thanksgiving
and Christmas. She can. I'll save her a seat next
to you if you want. I don't even care. But
I'm just letting you know. So I'm not doing it again.
You know what I'm saying. Also, I've worked so hard
to lose all that when I when I get pregnant,
I turn to a house Ryan like, you don't understand

(17:01):
how many people women who have kids had asked me,
are you having twins? No? Are you sure? Like there's
not technology that exists that I'm like, no, one baby.
They just have a lot of room, like, I don't know,
I don't know. I would just blow up. So I'm like,
I'm not doing that again. It's it's just whatever. And
then also after what I went through with Luca. For
those of you that don't know, my son is a
year out of recovering from pediatric cancer. So after all that,

(17:23):
not that would happen again. But it's just you know
what I mean.

Speaker 2 (17:25):
No, I get it.

Speaker 1 (17:25):
It's like in the back of your eye, Yeah, I'm
we have a boy and a girl. It's not like
we have two girls or two boys. I would get it.
I would be like, Okay, maybe you want the other.
We're good. Let's just be grateful for what we have
and move on.

Speaker 2 (17:34):
I mean, so where do you guys stand on that?

Speaker 1 (17:37):
On the third kid thing, Yeah, no, I beg him
to have a vasectomy, and he says, I just want
to make sure I'm done having kids. So I think
there might be a possible other woman that might be
like a thought because it's not coming from me. I'm
just kidding. I don't know if he thinks is going
to change my mind, but no, it's not going to happen.
And now now we've recently talked about it, and he's like, no, no,
I'm good, Like we're going okay, okay, cool, Yeah, yeah,

(17:58):
so we're done. Nice is shut down for service.

Speaker 2 (18:01):
Yeah, but he still wants it. I think probably would
have gone me And I'm sorry, clerk, I'm not trying
to three under the bus.

Speaker 1 (18:06):
But if you if you no, you're right, because I
did say to him, I was like, my thing and
this kind of this will go also be in line
with the purpose of why we're even talking about this today.
It's like I wanted to offer some helpful advice on
what I think makes a successful relationship, and for me,
there's one answer, and it's across the board, whether it's
a friend, husband, parent, sibling, whatever, pat which I'll circle

(18:29):
back to in a minute. But I struggled with that
because I am really huge on making people happy, especially
the person I'm married to. And so I was like
I said to him, I said, Clark, I don't want
you to live your life out and be like I
wish I had that third kid. So this is a
conversation we have to have because I don't want you
to feel like you miss something or there's some loss

(18:51):
or some void or do you know what I mean,
like I will feel like I did not do my part,
so we need to like you tell me. And so
he's like, no, no's he's come out of that. And
I don't know. I mean, I think I think it's fine. Okay,
I think we're gonna have another conversation after hears this.
But I'm just kidding. I think it's fine. But which
brings me to like what I think makes a successful

(19:13):
relationship in any anything, and it's it's gonna sound stupid,
but I'm telling you, and my uncle said this to me.
I think it's communication. Like your your success in how
well you will do with someone, whether it be a friendship,
a working relationship, you're dating them, a marriage, whatever is
is you will be as successful to the degree that

(19:34):
you can communicate anything on any subject. If you are
comfortable enough to talk to someone about something, you'll be
able to get through it. Which is also just you know,
say it anyway right, Like there's gonna be uncomfortable conversations.
There's gonna be things you don't want to say. Even
Ryan's example of like wasting time in a relationship now
you've lost years, say it sooner because you know there's

(19:55):
there are other things that I mean, I could say
why I used to be.

Speaker 2 (20:01):
But it's so damaging to ourselves and we know it.
It's like touching a hot stove that you know is hot.
It's like, man, if you're six months in and you're
talking about moving in and like somewhere in your soul
there's something pulling, nagging where you're like, I don't know,
and you ignore that.

Speaker 1 (20:16):
It's like, don't want to hurt the person's feelings.

Speaker 2 (20:17):
Okay, but shit, look where you're at then, Like it's
so it's so self sabotage.

Speaker 1 (20:23):
We do it because we don't. People innately don't want
to be hurtful, right. I think people are like, underneath
all their bullshit, no matter what kind of person you are,
like you're people are good people deep down, right, And
so I think that they do they don't want to
create yeah, turbulence, you know what I mean?

Speaker 2 (20:38):
Like us Honestly, sometimes there's this thought to where it's like, man,
maybe being with like the wrong person or the person
that I'm not like I don't feel lit up by
is better than being alone? Think you know what I mean?

Speaker 1 (20:51):
Yes?

Speaker 2 (20:51):
Yes, And you know Jay like to the day, depending on.

Speaker 1 (20:58):
When this str like this is the anniversary day.

Speaker 2 (21:00):
Yeah, of me declaring basically I joined the you know,
I just join. I was like a monk, like I
just said. I'm like yeah, I'm like I'm done. I'm
just gonna I'm just gonna just be alone for a year.
Like I'm not even that I was the decision that
was made when it ended. Yeah, okay, when I moved,
I moved much closer to work, which is great for me.

(21:21):
But I was like, I don't want to do this
anymore because you lose yourself a little bit in a
bad relationship. You just like you forget who you are
because you're so miserable. You don't you can't, you can't.
You develop bad habits like to mask it. I mean
it's it can like really get away from you.

Speaker 1 (21:39):
And I kind of sorry, do you mind if I
ask how long you are with this person?

Speaker 2 (21:45):
Two and a half three years?

Speaker 1 (21:45):
It's a good chunk of timey ahead. So you lose
yourself and you have your.

Speaker 2 (21:49):
Son too, and you know, an adult son lived with us,
and that's a whole nother Why did I say whole nother?
I hate when people say that, because a whole another
lot don't.

Speaker 1 (22:00):
Oh, you mean the wording of a whole. It's not
nothingnal's completely separate story.

Speaker 2 (22:05):
Now there's not a word anyway.

Speaker 1 (22:06):
Uh.

Speaker 2 (22:07):
And then by the time you've just put in so
much time because you didn't listen to that voice, you're like, man,
did I just make a huge mistake? And so my
and the reason I'm bringing this up is my promise
to myself was don't get swept.

Speaker 1 (22:18):
Up, like, don't settle first A settle dude.

Speaker 2 (22:20):
Yeah, and you and you don't know that you're strong
enough to not settle until you can look yourself in
the mir and go, I am strong enough to not
settle one hundred percent.

Speaker 1 (22:27):
I had so many I dated so much before I
met Clark, and I can tell you so many of
those things were settling because you want to feel desired,
You want to feel attention right like you want. And
so you're like, well, this is who's paying attention to
me right now? So fine, and then like you're like,
what am I doing? You know what I mean?

Speaker 2 (22:42):
Like it's so true, But I'm telling you, and it
was the best decision I ever made, because there's this
thing I think we were addicted to feeling wanted, like
you just said, yeah, right, But if you can, if
you can declare to yourself internally the like the deepest
part of your soul, you go, I am going, I'm
going to commit to this. I'm gonna do this for
me so that I'm better for the next person that

(23:02):
comes along. Right, being alone is a beautiful thing if
you if you make it a beautiful thing, if people
figure it out.

Speaker 1 (23:09):
It's great. It is it is. And I think that.

Speaker 2 (23:14):
I'm not trying to make you feel like you need
to feel.

Speaker 1 (23:17):
I'm just very evaluating my own time lifestyle. And I'm
just kidding. I'm joking. I'm not no, no, no, listen,
I'm not doing that. No, but I I get what
you're saying, and I and I believe you and I
agree with you because I think that like you, you know,
it's almost like a ripple effect, Like if you have
your own shit together, then you kind of can invite
someone else into your life and then you can kind
of expand from there. Right, If you don't, you're gonna

(23:38):
just be with people that feed into you not having
your shit together, do you know what I mean? And
then you lose yourself and then you go like what
am I doing? Who am I? What's happening? Why am
I unhappy? So you have to really know who you are.
And I think that, like I've worked on this for
fucking years, add nause and with myself, like who am
I really? What do I want? And it's not And
I tell you, man, I'm like, it's me into my

(24:00):
forties to answer that question. I didn't know shit when
I was in my twenties or thirties. I thought I
knew who I was. I thought I knew what I wanted.
I had no idea. I had become so cynical of
what could be and what you know, Like I was
just like I don't know. I just was like this
shitty little It was almost like my just carrying with
me stuff from being a teenager. Right like I thought
I had it all figured out, and you don't. And

(24:22):
you have to be willing to know. Like we're in
our forties and like, I don't know about you, but
I'm still learning shit on the daily of like oh
my god, I had no idea that this was a thing,
or you know, there's like this there's magical stuff out
there that like exists that you're like, oh my god,
I didn't. I thought that was not I thought that
was like movie stuff, you know what I mean. So
I think that even even in my relationship with my mom,
my relationship with my mom has gotten so much better.
It's not that it was ever bad, but we butt

(24:44):
heads a lot from time to time over the years,
and I've gotten to a point now with everyone with
my my family, I have such a great family. My
family is mostly all on the East Coast. My mom
and my sister are the only ones that are here.
These are great people. Like I'm like and I I
don't have something shifted in me in the last I

(25:05):
hate to like bring this up again, but like, ever
since what happened, when my son happened, it has changed
my ability to see good and kindness in others. I
used to be a little bit more, you know, like
what does this guy want? Or you know what I mean,
like kind of like I don't know, just just I
don't know, like I guess cynical. And now I'm like, God,

(25:27):
these are like people are people are so great. I
love talking to people.

Speaker 2 (25:30):
I'm gonna I'm gonna underscore this with something I witnessed
the other day. So we have a security guard at
this building. His name's Ruben, and during one of your visits,
he was excited to show you because you and Ruben
have strug up a friendship, which I don't understand, is
it way?

Speaker 1 (25:43):
I just say, everyone and I am I liked when
every I like making everyone feel.

Speaker 2 (25:47):
I know, but he's so nice, and I hate to
be I'm not trying to make diminish like what you did,
because it was super cute and respectful and very nice
of you. And I'm gonna get there in a second.
But also one thing to preface this with is that
Ruben is a mouth kisser.

Speaker 1 (25:59):
He's so not my mouth. By the way, everybody, because
you know, I'm not going to kiss Reuben.

Speaker 2 (26:03):
But what Ruben? What ethnicity would you guess?

Speaker 1 (26:06):
Ruben is he's probably Middle Eastern, which I am half,
And so it's a customary that when you when you
see someone who's like Middle Eastern any kind, like I'm
half Armenian, we kiss each other on the cheek, so
you usually give a cheek.

Speaker 2 (26:16):
I didn't know, and you did, like a on each side.

Speaker 1 (26:18):
That's what you do.

Speaker 2 (26:19):
I didn't know all this.

Speaker 1 (26:19):
He doesn't know because I was in the bathroom.

Speaker 2 (26:21):
Jay with Ruben.

Speaker 1 (26:23):
I mean just would be a place to kiss anybody anywhere,
but just me and Ruben.

Speaker 2 (26:26):
Yeah, we're walking, we just finished washing our hands. We're
waiting for one to grab the paper towel. You wash
your hands first, and he kissed me. I didn't realize
at the time that we're doing the cheek thing, and
like I didn't give him the cheek, so he great
grays like side mouth, and I was like, I came back.

Speaker 1 (26:41):
He just kept your face in one.

Speaker 2 (26:43):
They literally walk back in the studio with Ellen and
darn Mike, and I was like, well, Ruben just kissed me,
and they're like, explain this, you know, But now I
get that. It was like, yeah, it wasn't like a
meat I know it was. Yeah, I almost got me
towed by your security guard. Anyway, I go back to
Reuben because the other day Jay's here in the lobby.
I walk out Ruben showing her fishing photos. He went
fishing with his grandson and and he was so so

(27:04):
ex The fish were so like small and.

Speaker 1 (27:06):
If guys, it wouldn't have mattered if he was showing
me plastic goldfish. This guy lit up just to be
able to share his weekend with someone and get acknowledged
for like, look what I did with my family. He
was so excited and and I loved it because you
asked someone like how was your weekend and they're like great,
how you doing good? Like it's a social grace answer, yes,
of course, And I'm like, how is your Ah, he
was so great. I went fishing and he was like

(27:26):
he And here's the thing, guys, what Ryan forgets is
that he's in here with people all day doing this
radio show, right, and you guys are talking to people,
you're picking up the phone, you're interacting with humans all day.
This guy sits in a white lobby that looks like Severance,
and he has no one to talk to, you know
what I'm saying, Okay, And so like I, he's just
dying for like a person, do you know what I mean?

(27:46):
And I was like, I'll be your person, dude, let
me see the whole photo of let's look at it.
And he showed you for it and it made all
the difference to.

Speaker 2 (27:52):
Him, I know. And you were like, oh, and this
must be here like you it was.

Speaker 1 (27:55):
I loved it.

Speaker 2 (27:55):
You kept asking follow up questions. I was pacing because
I'm an anxious are you.

Speaker 1 (28:00):
Gonna ask him something else? I'm like, yes, I'm genuinely interesting,
Like can you end this?

Speaker 2 (28:03):
Oh, but that's a me issue. That and so my
point in all of that, Jay is to say that,
my god, what you just explained about what Luca's situation
taught you is to slow down, to be more present,
be kind, be kinder, and listen to people and.

Speaker 1 (28:17):
Make a big difference. I made a big difference for him,
I think.

Speaker 2 (28:19):
I know, and I was about to make a negative difference.

Speaker 1 (28:21):
And then and then you know what, guys, just as
a side note, Ryan, who is all like anti fishing
trip only knows that the fish suck because he ended
up walking over and looking at the pictures too. So
I set a good example for you too.

Speaker 2 (28:31):
I think I did join and you did tell me.
You know, I don't think Reuben knew you were trying
to get out of there, So I did a good
job at least pretending. And then look at the end
of the day, right, we both we both gathered around
him and looked at the fish.

Speaker 1 (28:44):
Yeah, and you know what I would bet my I
don't know what i'd bet on it, but I'll bet
you that if you come in next week or whatever,
and you say, hey, Ruben, how's the family? That would
make him so happy?

Speaker 2 (28:55):
Of course? Or if I even say, like you're going
fishing again this week? Yes, I'd love to go fishing
with you. Makes it's so nice.

Speaker 1 (29:03):
To makes people feel important. And when you say something
like that, they know that you remembered it was an
important conversation to you, and it makes all the difference
it makes. It's just you know, like you said, people
want to feel important.

Speaker 2 (29:12):
What what so taking that? Like? What is your love language? Right?
For Reuben, it was showing us pictures of fish? Do
you have a love like? Do you believe in love languages?

Speaker 1 (29:22):
What's I don't know.

Speaker 2 (29:23):
I bet you have one? Just identify it, pick it.

Speaker 1 (29:26):
I don't know what it is.

Speaker 2 (29:27):
I bet you Okay, I'm gonna guess it.

Speaker 1 (29:28):
I don't know if I to fully understand this love
language thing.

Speaker 2 (29:31):
Like, So, what is it that someone can do for you?
An act big, small? Whatever that like makes you feel like,
oh my god, I'm seen right, they love me, this
person loves me.

Speaker 1 (29:39):
Oh my god. Just compliment? Sorry, yeah, anything that that
involves anyone telling me that I'm good at something? Man? Woman, child,
on your career.

Speaker 2 (29:52):
What's the best compliment do you? Okay, So, if someone said,
I'm going to give you two options, I want to
see I wish I was had you hooked up to
like a polygrap if.

Speaker 1 (30:00):
Someone's the fuck BOLLI grap.

Speaker 2 (30:03):
Yeah, I want to see what. I want to see
your I want to see your baseline for this, you know,
I want to test it, Like is your name Jay?

Speaker 1 (30:09):
Okay?

Speaker 2 (30:09):
Is your real name Jeanine?

Speaker 1 (30:11):
Oh wow?

Speaker 2 (30:11):
Okay, So then I get the baseline right, yeah, And
then I'm gonna say, Okay, if someone were to tell you, Jay,
you are the most beautiful woman on earth? Okay, option
one or Jay or or okay, you're the funniest person
I have ever met. Which one of those is gonna

(30:31):
Which one of those is gonna light your lamp? Oh shit,
it's funny. I bet you.

Speaker 1 (30:38):
I think it's funny.

Speaker 2 (30:39):
You'd rather be be I would not rather.

Speaker 1 (30:41):
Be funny than beautiful, Okay, but I would not rather
be beautiful than you know what I'm saying. I don't
know their neck and neck, dude. I gotta be honest.
I think funny because I like live for making other
people laugh. I know, so I feel like I feel
like if someone were like yours, because people do tell
me that, you know, you're so funny or whatever. But yeah,
and I love it. Yes, do you have a.

Speaker 2 (31:02):
Deal breaker, like one thing someone could do to make
you just just crash out? Nope? And I need you
to separate yourself from your current life.

Speaker 1 (31:11):
I'm just saying in general, Okay, in general, so like
if I'm single, okay, okay, kissing me and I'm just kidding.

Speaker 2 (31:18):
No, No, I'm just you need like a real like
someone to help her with this. This is why.

Speaker 1 (31:23):
Nobody needs to help me. I don't need to kiss anybody.
I'm done. I'm retired kissing. It's part of the reason
I got married. I was like, I don't want to
do any more firs kisses. Let's do that a deal
breaker for me? Yes, I just thought of two guys,

(31:43):
two different different time eperiens. So I went out with
a guy once who This is a funny thing, especially
coming off of what we just said is my love language.
I went out with a guy who so I don't
really care for, Like, everyone has a body part that
they're into, where like there's like a boob guy or
a leg guy or like, what's your thing?

Speaker 2 (32:03):
Mouth? Mouth, I know, I know you don't. Mouth doesn't
get no, it's doesn't get enough enough.

Speaker 1 (32:09):
There's boobs as yeah, legs, Yeah, Clark's a butt guy.
Yeah yeah, yeah, Clark's an ass guy. Legs yeah yeah,
I guess yeah, you don't hear mouth yeah, shout out
the moment.

Speaker 2 (32:19):
I love them. I mean, honestly, that's my first thing
that I noticed.

Speaker 1 (32:23):
I'm like, I'm like that with smiles like that. When
I was dating guys, the first thing I noticed is
their smile, you know, like you couldn't have like bad
teeth or something. I would never so anyway, I don't know,
this is just me. I'm not speaking for every woman,
but like I don't really have like a body part,
do you know what I mean?

Speaker 2 (32:38):
I'm not like I don't like most women do.

Speaker 1 (32:39):
I don't think so right, it's more of a guy thing.

Speaker 2 (32:41):
Yeah, so actually men are gross to be honest, like
I see pictures of like really pretty women and like,
I don't know, just like no man can ever be
prettier or more good looking than you think it's easy. Yeah, sure,
men aren't. Men are not We're not attractive.

Speaker 1 (32:56):
I don't agree with you. But that's that's good. This
is good that we feel like this way.

Speaker 2 (33:00):
And I mean it, I'll stand by that. I mean there,
of course there are your you know, you can have
your like your specimens and like the people that you
know are.

Speaker 1 (33:06):
Like who's that guy? No, I'll tell you so. Clark
and I have like a list of like.

Speaker 2 (33:10):
Can you get closer to the microphone? We laying back already?

Speaker 1 (33:12):
You done?

Speaker 2 (33:13):
Are we done?

Speaker 1 (33:13):
I got comfortable. Clark and I have like the people
that like it would be okay, like a celebrity, like
it would be okay if you cheatd just this person,
that's what it's called.

Speaker 2 (33:21):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (33:22):
So my person is Henry Cavill.

Speaker 2 (33:24):
Of course I have to tell you a story, but
he's my favorite.

Speaker 1 (33:28):
He was going to be at a party that my
friend was going to go to and I didn't go
because we were engaged, and I was like, I will
absolutely call this wedding off if I go there. As
if also like I'm acting like Henry's gonna be like, ah,
who's this girl? Like my shit doesn't stink, not even
a thing. But then it was so messed up because
the months later he dated this like UFC fighter girl
who literally had like dark hair, like she was very
similar to me. I was like, oh, I might have

(33:49):
had a chance at that party.

Speaker 2 (33:51):
I one of my friends. Yeah, very famous person dated
him really oh yeah, oh yeah no for quite some time.
It's very peanut Butter and Jelles high profile and it's interesting.
I got some insight. I don't care what it was,
like a field mouse and I still can't.

Speaker 1 (34:10):
You know what I'm saying.

Speaker 2 (34:11):
It's not just kidding about Yeah, okay, that's fine, doesn't
there's something you tell me later.

Speaker 1 (34:18):
Don't say mean things about people I'm not.

Speaker 2 (34:19):
I'm not.

Speaker 1 (34:20):
I do want to know.

Speaker 2 (34:21):
I'm going to tell you. Okay, So I'll tell you
if you DM me.

Speaker 1 (34:24):
Too, Okay, anyone, I will definitely do.

Speaker 2 (34:26):
It's at Ryan Manno, not you. I'm talking to anyone listening.
Oh sorry, it was awkward. I'll do that. You're the
dming me right now, tell me right now?

Speaker 1 (34:34):
Okay, okay, So wait, so my deal breaker, So my
so I went out with a guy who so I'm
not basically back to the old body part thing, like,
I'm not a huge feet person. I don't really like feet.

Speaker 2 (34:44):
No one knows.

Speaker 1 (34:45):
And so I went out with this guy, and he
took me back to his apartment and it was like
one of those industrial looking apartments that has like brick
and cement and you know, very cold and early into
that because it wasn't like warm and cozy inside. And
he took his shoes and socks off to lay on
the bed and not a foot person. But I don't

(35:06):
mind them. I'm not like gonna throw up. But guys,
this guy, this guy's feet, like I can't even I
can't even explain it. You know how people have like calluses. Yeah, No,
this was as if someone took a brick, an actual brick,
and attached glued it to the bottom of his foot.
I've never seen anything like it. And I was like,

(35:28):
I gotta get out of here.

Speaker 2 (35:30):
What caused that? Like why was it?

Speaker 1 (35:32):
Who knows? I wasn't gonna ask. I was like, I
need to leave. I was so grossed out that I
was like, I'm not sitting on the but I'm not
going anywhere near this person. So that was a deal
breaker for me. So like bad, any kind of bad,
Like to me, that's almost like a bad hygiene point,
even though it's just I don't know, dude, it was
just awful.

Speaker 2 (35:47):
Yeah, Sam Smith, you know Sam Smith. Yeah, Sam was
in here and we asked him about like he can't
stand feet. I think you guys would relate on this listening.

Speaker 1 (35:55):
Feet just I think everyone should have hooves. This is
what this guy I hate. Yeah, that's what the guy had.
So anyway, that and then there was another guy I dated,
so that was a deal breaker. Like I said, I
think any like physical and I'm sorry, I don't mean
to sound shallow and like a total whatever.

Speaker 2 (36:14):
Jade, No you're not, because honestly, any kind.

Speaker 1 (36:16):
Of a physical weird like really thing that you could control.
I'm not talking about like a defect, Like I'm talking
about like something that you could absolutely do something about
and you're choosing not to grossest give me an example,
like the foot thing. He could have totally handled that,
you know what I mean, he could have liked I
don't know, Like I'm not saying guy should go get
petti heures either.

Speaker 2 (36:32):
It's like neglect.

Speaker 1 (36:33):
Yes, like also be aware enough self awareness that if
that's what your feet are and you're not gonna don't
take your fucking socks off when you have a girl
over for the first time.

Speaker 2 (36:43):
Do you know what I mean, and that begs the
question does this person not know about foot?

Speaker 1 (36:47):
You know, it's just weird, like how do you not know? Dude? Like,
So then there was that, and then there was a
totally different guy who you have me like a rant.
Now I'm like really channeling in my single days. There's
another guy who, oh god, I don't By the way,
how was your sex with foot guy? It was fucking great.
I didn't look at his feet. No, I'm just kidding.
I did not have sex with him. So so there

(37:11):
was a guy who this is so dumb, but we
were had plans for the weekend and he came over
and he got sick. And people get sick, it's fine.
I mean, also it's to me who's lost their voice.
I think he had like a stomach bug or something.
Oh did it happened like half my house?

Speaker 2 (37:26):
Did he poop?

Speaker 1 (37:26):
No, it wasn't. I don't even know if it was.
It wasn't that it was the amount of whining and
complaining for three days, like babying that I was like, Okay,
I get it, like I get like, I get that
you don't feel good, but like man up and like
not that we needed to go do something, but he
was like literally whining to me, like.

Speaker 2 (37:44):
Men don't handle being sick at all, and I don't
feel good. No.

Speaker 1 (37:47):
I thought there's memes about this, but I was like,
I don't. I don't, dude, I don't need to be
your mom. This is not a good time, you know
what I mean? And maybe if we were dating longer
and I gave half of a shit about him, I
probably would have been a little bit more motherly. But
I was like twenty one, and I could have cared less. Jaman.
I was like, so those are my those are my
deal breakers, And what's your what's your love language? Ryan?

Speaker 2 (38:10):
Oh my god, I don't even know, Like is there
a list that I have to pick from? I mean, okay,
if I were to let's just say I were to
enter a relationship with someone new, I think the greatest
thing that that person could demonstrate to me, it's not praise,
it's not compliments. It is understanding and patience. Like we

(38:33):
have the weirdest we talked about this one. You said patience, Yeah,
like patience and understanding with my my job, Oh, like
an understanding of like okay, schedule and stuff. You mean schedule,
how much we work I mean, you know, like since
we've been like it, it's basically from the moment your
eyes open until they and that's a lot of what
people don't understand. And I'm not going on I work

(38:54):
so hard, but it's just part of what.

Speaker 1 (38:56):
No, it's not, it's not. It's not the morning shows
from five to ten, so it'll and Ryan's home and
he has the rest of it, he has his whole day.

Speaker 2 (39:02):
That's not what at all, No, because there's a lot
that goes into it. And I think that in my
past relationships, the frustration started bubbling when I wasn't able
and this this is a me thing too, and I'm
like talking through this almost like therapy, Like you have
to also prioritize, and it's not healthy to work as
much as we work, as much as I work, it's
it sucks. And that's why I don't know that I

(39:22):
always make a good partner. And that's why I'm really
feeling good on my own because I don't have to
answer to anyone right now. I don't have to be
responsible to anything but car out time to do something. Yeah,
you have your schedule. We're to say it's all good, dude,
I get it. You bust your ass, but it's worth it, right, Look, Okay,
that's all I need to hear.

Speaker 1 (39:38):
Just see the weekend or when I say.

Speaker 2 (39:39):
That, just say that please.

Speaker 1 (39:41):
So you you you. It's basically having someone that will
kind of grant you that that part of your life,
like be okay with that, accept it, and this.

Speaker 2 (39:54):
Is important to me and this show. I mean, it's
crazy how long we've been doing this and how long
we've been successful.

Speaker 1 (39:59):
So it's like, okay, you can't neglect that at all.

Speaker 2 (40:03):
At all, because, by the way, a lot of people
think once you're like okay, you know, we're doing Morning's
number one.

Speaker 1 (40:08):
In LA for it doesn't go on a matic.

Speaker 2 (40:09):
You have to work out, No, getting there is easier
than staying there.

Speaker 1 (40:14):
And I absolutely understand that, and I think that you
know you it's it becomes harder. Yeah, now it's work
is harder. You have to even you have to continue
to like outcreate what you did before to stay there
and be you know, yeah. So and I also think
that like this is see, like work is seven tenths
of your life for anybody. For you, it might be
eight or nine because you you you put in so

(40:36):
much time. But I also think that, like, and this
is totally like I don't want to, like I'm not
sure to evaluate for you or answer for you it,
but like, no, please, I think that, like you're very
passionate about what you do, like this, this this show
is your baby, you know, and like and I think
that I think that that's an easy thing to find.
Like I mean, maybe not as easy as I'm saying,

(40:57):
but like somebody that respects that and goes like, okay,
like this is your thing and see on the weekend
or when we can, or I'll bring you dinner or
you know what I mean. Like somebody like that might probably.

Speaker 2 (41:07):
Like are you good, Like, don't worry about it. I'm yeah,
So you don't.

Speaker 1 (41:10):
You can't be with somebody that's needy. I mean, we
could never be together because of how much attention I need.
I'm just joking, I know, but see, you mayn't be
with someone that needs attention.

Speaker 2 (41:19):
No, no, it's not it's not even the needing attention.
I can give attention. I can I'll drop. Like the
other day, I think you and I were talking to
my neighbor, was this is a terrible example, my.

Speaker 1 (41:28):
God, No, this is the goodest thing ever, so he's
like going on and on about how much work he
has to do, you know, and he's gonna go walk
the dog and he's gonna get back inside because he
has like so much more work to do.

Speaker 2 (41:38):
I'm raising my hand really quick. Okay, Yes, I just
feel like this is something that needs to be interjected
before you continue. A lot of people know that I
am like the co host with that one in the morning,
but if you look at my email signature and the
title of my job, I'm also the executive producer of
the show. I'm not saying that as a brag. I
am saying I would. I am putting that out there

(41:59):
as context.

Speaker 1 (42:01):
Yeah, he doesn't just show up and like you know,
spitball stuff and like fill in like gaps for Ellen.
That's not what's happening.

Speaker 2 (42:06):
Guys like, thank you. There's a lot of the show.
That's why I'm seeing it, just so there's just nice they.

Speaker 1 (42:10):
Understand how much. Yeah, yeah, so he has a lot
to do. The night before the show also realized this
is a live show in the morning, so whatever. And
I'm also talking like I know what I'm talking about.
I don't believe what I've deduced from it is that,
like there's current events, things that are happening. They're changing
every day, so he probably has to check in with
like whatever news stuff's going on the night before, so
it's relevant to even talk about the next morning if
something's changed whatever. Yes, is what you're doing.

Speaker 2 (42:32):
I'm killing you.

Speaker 1 (42:33):
Okay, great, I've never even asked this.

Speaker 2 (42:34):
So I lucked out on that.

Speaker 1 (42:35):
I totally locked out on that. So there's constantly like
checking in. Right, So he's walking the dog, He's like,
I got to walk the dog, and I got like
two more hours of work and realize getting up at
three oh five in the morning, which you covered an
episode one. If you haven't heard that, please check that out.
After this, he said, he gets up at three oh five.
So what time does one need to go to sleep
at night to be able to get up at three
oh five and fucking function? What like nine pm? Latest? Yeah?

(42:57):
Like a heart out at nine, Like you got to
be in bed at eight.

Speaker 2 (43:00):
Long if I'm up at if I'm stillip at nine.

Speaker 1 (43:02):
Eight o'clock ideally earlier, okay.

Speaker 2 (43:05):
Perfect world, I'm I am tucked.

Speaker 1 (43:07):
In this conversation with a dog and having like two
more hours worth of work. Ha it around six pm,
so this is a rough night. Okay, he didn't have
any time. As the point, he's walking the dog. Okay, Jay,
I gotta go. I gotta go next door and help
my neighbor fix her camera. So this I took something
away from this. I said, Wow, I look at this guy.
This guy has had it up to fucking here. Right.

(43:28):
He's working his ass off. He's literally just telling me
earlier how long of a day this is going to
because he has so much to do. He's got to
be able to like go inside, put his head down
and like get get this done right and burn the
midnight oil at seven pm because that's his midnight oil. Right.
And I'm like, all right, man, like.

Speaker 2 (43:45):
Big do what because the Cubs, the.

Speaker 1 (43:47):
Cubs are on in the back IgE going to make
sure that's going well, you know, and sometimes it doesn't
because they're not the Yankees, doesn't matter. Just kidding. Oh
I'm joking. So so I'm joking. I'm joking. The Cubs
are great. They're not the Dodgers, so they're well good,
That's what I'm saying. That could be worse. So sorry,
all of la. That just no. So that's another thing

(44:07):
I live in a household, or my husband's a Dodgers fan,
a Yankee fan. Anyway, so this is all going on,
and it didn't even like it wasn't even a thought
of like I gotta tell her. I'm so sorry. I'm
in the middle of something. I can't fix it. Like
he was like put the dog inside, went and fixed
the camera, And I'm like, what, Like this is a
really good dude, Like this is a good person, do

(44:28):
you know what I mean? Like so also, that to
me like speaks volumes of your character.

Speaker 2 (44:35):
Like then I didn't want to look at Ruben's fishing photos.
So then I'm like, who I am? Am I a monster?

Speaker 1 (44:40):
I mean no, but this is like, isn't she like
she needs help?

Speaker 2 (44:44):
She needed help.

Speaker 1 (44:45):
If Ruben said to you, my phone's not working, can
you help me? I would have stopped, and course I
would step up. Yes, you're just not interested in other
people's interests. That's different than help, and that has something
that's broken.

Speaker 2 (44:54):
I don't care.

Speaker 1 (44:54):
Just so anyway, So so go ahead. So you're you're love.
We're talking about your love. Yeah, being that someone would
grant you the ability to do what you need to,
just give you for it and be supportive. Yes. Good.
So what did you have any like deal breakers? Like
what you're dating someone and something happens you're like absolutely not,
I'm out boy, I don't know.

Speaker 2 (45:16):
I think, uh, what.

Speaker 1 (45:18):
If you've got to do with someone like I'm allergic
to dogs?

Speaker 2 (45:21):
I couldn't do it. I couldn't do it. Couldn't do it.
I wouldn't do it.

Speaker 1 (45:25):
I mean, Or there's what if they're like, no, no, but
you can come come to my place, but I just
can't go to yours.

Speaker 2 (45:28):
I would hate it. No, no, no, that's not working, I
think for me. And this is going to sound like, oh,
you know, but uh, I don't. I can't. I don't
think I could be with somebody who doesn't have like
a bond with their family or just in innate closeness
to family. It's just so important to family, and I think, Jay, I.

Speaker 1 (45:46):
Think, can I just say, can I say something about
that that I think is the sweetest thing on the planet?

Speaker 2 (45:50):
Well, are you complimenting me again?

Speaker 1 (45:52):
Yes?

Speaker 2 (45:53):
This is two and I'm starting to.

Speaker 1 (45:55):
We'll give two things we hate about each other right
after even the even the playing field ian calls his
mom every single day. I can't even say without getting
like choked up. It's the sweetest thing, in my opinion.
So I talk to my husband's mother more than he does. Yeah,
like I'm the one. This is nothing. I'm not comparing anything.
I'm just saying, like, I don't know any grown man

(46:16):
that talks to his mom every day, and I think
it's the sweetest thing ever. If there's any thirty somethings
that would like to have children and like dogs and
don't mind a man who works a lot, please contact us.
What's your email address? I'm just DM Ryan, no DM
me so I could filter them DM me at jokes
by Jay jokes on Instagram and I will filter out
the bullshit. And if you have what it takes, I will,

(46:37):
I will say, and.

Speaker 2 (46:37):
I think you would know right away. You could, you
could do. And you can't have a public you can't
have a private profile because.

Speaker 1 (46:42):
Its absolutely not We need to fully like scope you.

Speaker 2 (46:44):
Out and we need to see you too, because I'm sorry,
Like I'm sorry, Yeah, like we and this is gonna
sound really shallow and maybe I shouldn't.

Speaker 1 (46:50):
Have maybe we're shallow. It doesn't matter.

Speaker 2 (46:51):
I know, I'm going to say it anyway, say it anyway,
looks matter a hundred agree that looks mad?

Speaker 1 (46:56):
What we're like, we're oh my god, stop full stop.

Speaker 2 (46:59):
Yes.

Speaker 1 (46:59):
I hate when someone goes like the personality is I'm like,
f off, because guess what, if you're going to meet somebody,
the thing that's going to make you approach them and
walk off to that person is how they look. Right,
there has to be someone. Now that person might not
be attractive to me, but they are to you. That's fine,
but don't talk to me about like somebody who looks
like they've just fell out of the ugly tree, hit
every branch in the rock on the bottom, and you're like,
but there's such a good person. It's like, no, get in,

(47:22):
no way, no, no.

Speaker 2 (47:23):
It's bs. I swear the fact that we say this
and keep perpetuating this lie. It's complete and utter bullshit.
It's wrong with the world. It's not good. It's really
not good. Because look, like Jay said, I if your
idea of what beauty is is someone that you know,
like she said, looks.

Speaker 1 (47:39):
Like, we might not think they're try. You may have
a friend or somebody that dates someone that you're like,
she's not great, But I could see what he sees
in her, you know, I mean, like that's not your person, sure,
but like.

Speaker 2 (47:47):
That's why if I said to someone, oh, yes, I
don't know, she's not my type, and they go, but
she's a really sweet person. Did you not hear what?

Speaker 1 (47:53):
It's just good for her, you know what I mean? Like,
there's also people who are gorgeous that are humanitarians and
do lovely things for people. You know, I'm just saying, doesn't.

Speaker 2 (47:59):
It doesn't do it for me? Right? So yeah, I
just it's so important to remind everyone that looks actually
do matter because.

Speaker 1 (48:06):
Thirty something like a hard worker, dogs and are pretty
please you got to be pretty yes?

Speaker 2 (48:14):
Uh deal? What are we asking deal breakers? Yeah, you're
not close with your family? I think that would be
my number one or just didn't or didn't respect I'm
sound like I sound like such an asshole, and I'm like,
you have to respect me because I'm like, I work
a lot, and I talked to my mom and dinner
must be ready at five o'clock.

Speaker 1 (48:32):
If you can just stay in the kitchen where you have.

Speaker 2 (48:35):
To at least just respect that these This is how
I am.

Speaker 1 (48:38):
Yeah, yeah, no, I got right.

Speaker 2 (48:40):
Yeah, this is part of the package.

Speaker 1 (48:42):
I don't think there's anything wrong with any of that,
and that's it.

Speaker 2 (48:44):
I'm not I'm not asking for the world. I like,
I will love your family as much as I love
my family. I will support you when you need support it.
I will understand if you are working later, if you whatever.
Like it's fine. It goes two ways.

Speaker 1 (48:55):
No, I think absolutely, like any relationship, honestly, like the
amount of support that you have have to have for
each other, Yeah, is not something that you actually realize
going in, like the amount of support, like what Clark
and I went through. I'll tell you something. Our best
friend Jason said something to me when at the front
end of what happened with Luca that's stuck with me.

Speaker 2 (49:15):
Can I say, really quick you like episode one? We
kind of touched on it. I don't know if today
is the right time, but please, can we next week
just talk a little bit about Luca so lilyause there's
been references, and I think that's the people that don't
know your story.

Speaker 1 (49:26):
Yes, need to Next week we'll do like kids and others,
a little yes, and I will tell the whole story
for sure. Sorry, that's okay. But also if you just
go to my Instagram, you could find the whole story,
but I'm happy to tell it. I actually love talking
about it. Yeah, yeah, that's fine. I just didn't want
to bore anyone who may already know. But anyway, our
best friend, Jason said to me. So, Jason is a

(49:46):
very good friend. He's like family. He's like one of
those friends that you know. He's my daughter's godfather. His
wife and I are best friends. And shout out to
Jason and lindsay we love you guys. And he said
to me in the very beginning, he goes, I'm not
worried about Luca. I know Luca will be okay. What
I'm worried about is what this is going to do

(50:07):
to you and Clark and I didn't really get it
at the time because we were kind of at the
front end of the whole thing, you know, and as
we moved through it, and I was living at the
hospital with Luke, I was like Luca's person the whole time.

Speaker 2 (50:22):
Did you go home?

Speaker 1 (50:24):
We did for periods of time, but anytime I had
to spend the night, I was with him. I never
left him for a second. If I did, it would
be because Clark would come so I could go shower.
I would shower there in the room. There was a
shower in the room. He would bring me stuff. Obviously
you don't realize. And it's funny, like we did this
interview on Fox News with Jen and she said after
the interview she was talking to her other co host
and she was like, you know, sometimes you don't realize

(50:45):
what you're capable of until you're tested, you know. And
that was definitely something that Clark and I went through that.
I was like, shit, when we went through that, I
was like, we're unbreakable, Like we just locked into position.
For the first week that we knew what was going
on with our son, we actually could not make eye
contact because we would both start crying. So we just
didn't look at each other and we went to our
respective corners of the room. I was with him, he

(51:05):
was with Live my daughter, and we just kind of
went through the motions and then we were able to
kind of get some get our heads together on it.
But my point is is that the amount of support
and help he has wanted to pursue his you know,
production company and film and I have done everything to
support that to some degree. The comedy and stuff that
I kind of put you know, I decided to do

(51:26):
that on my own. But he never asked me please
give that up to have a family. He never said
that to me once. But I made that decision because
I knew this was something I needed to do and
as a woman who was getting older, I needed to go, Okay,
let me have my kids. And if I come back
to this, great, and if I don't, okay, this is
I gotta be responsible for the decision I'm making. And
I was. So we definitely are a huge support team.

(51:46):
And I think that also too Ryan, Like even in
just in friendships, that's really important, you know what I mean,
Like just help each other out, you know, Like you
said something to me the other day and oh, and
I said something like it was like a joke that
I helped you with or something. I remember. I don't
remember the joke, but it was like you wrote something
for something, and I was like, what have you said this? Oh,

(52:07):
it was like a video you were going to do
or something. That's right, Like help each other out, you know,
like just be like I don't know, like you have
something to offer everyone in your life. People don't realize
how powerful they are on their own and when you
help someone.

Speaker 2 (52:19):
I just remember the joke, and it was I can't
we can't even repeat it.

Speaker 1 (52:22):
No, no, no, it was terrible. But the point was not
the joke. The point was the help, right. The other
offered to be like, I don't know, I feel like
maybe I'm also like I don't know if this is
falling on deaf years, but like Ryan and I are
people of service, like we like helping people to some degree,
so very much.

Speaker 2 (52:37):
I want everyone around me to be way happier.

Speaker 1 (52:40):
Than I am, honestly same, and.

Speaker 2 (52:42):
I mean that from the bottom of my heart. I would rather,
especially in the show I'd rather have. I'd rather look
across this room at three very happy people. I'd rather
right now during this podcast look at you and go,
she's good. And if I'm not, that's okay. You know
what I mean?

Speaker 1 (52:54):
Are you good? I'm just kidding that's me because that's
also amazed. So now I'm going away. Are you okay?
That's my thing?

Speaker 2 (53:00):
Relationship. I feel like I get it's like you have
to volley that back. Yeah, because I want you to
be so much better than I am at all times. Yeah,
I'll do anything.

Speaker 1 (53:09):
Yeah, I'll even I'll you know, you have to balance
that out or else I do.

Speaker 2 (53:12):
And it's a thing with me too. I've got a
lot of work to do still, you know. Thank you.

Speaker 1 (53:16):
Jay.

Speaker 2 (53:16):
Also one more deal breaker that I just thought of. Yeah,
you mentioned a name which led me to another friend
of ours who knows someone who you just mentioned she
was dating this guy. God, I gotta be careful with
this because I don't know who's going to hear this.
I'll be so.

Speaker 1 (53:28):
Careful, hopefully everybody I know. Let's make up names.

Speaker 2 (53:34):
Jack and Jill say names. I'm going to say, okay,
and I'm not even gonna say where he took her,
but they were. They would been on like two or
three dates. And this guy comes in a little little strong,
a little strong after like two three dates, and he goes, hey,
I would like to take us to this theme park
and it's going to involve a cross country flight.

Speaker 1 (53:53):
Oh my god, sign me up. No, I'm also very intense.

Speaker 2 (53:57):
Sorry, So we are now at this theme park together,
barely know each other, two three dates. I mean, maybe
a kiss that which you would have dreaded.

Speaker 1 (54:05):
I mean, but like cross country I probably would have
issed him pause of the flight. But that's right.

Speaker 2 (54:09):
So they're at this theme park for like, I don't know,
six hours or whatever. He eats something, gets food poisoning.

Speaker 1 (54:15):
No, please stop it.

Speaker 2 (54:16):
No, Uh, they're back. He can't, he can't continue the day. Obviously,
he's he's very stricken by the things that happened. And
they had they were in bed.

Speaker 1 (54:29):
And uh would have been like, I'll go on the
country let anything.

Speaker 2 (54:33):
And for whatever reason, this John Wayne m f just
thought he could just plow through everything, you know. He
thought he would tough it out and they could be intimate.

Speaker 1 (54:41):
And no, no, no, no, no.

Speaker 2 (54:43):
It ended up happening that the resort had to come
and replace the mattress because.

Speaker 1 (54:47):
The mattress the mattress, it would not change the needs.

Speaker 2 (54:51):
He shipped through everything and it soaked into the middle
of the mattress. Oh my god. And this is their
third date and he had just flown her across the
country and.

Speaker 1 (55:00):
Oh my god. The poor guy, because he was probably like,
I got to follow through.

Speaker 2 (55:03):
We're getting the flight in two day park hopper. Oh no,
and he pooped all the way into the middle of
the mattress.

Speaker 1 (55:10):
Wow.

Speaker 2 (55:11):
During during intimacy.

Speaker 1 (55:12):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, I got that, I got it. Yep. Yep, okay, wow.

Speaker 2 (55:17):
Yeah, So anyway that that that could be a deal
breaker for I.

Speaker 1 (55:21):
Think this is a good time to ask you. I
think your favorite ways to feel loved? I wanted to
We're done.

Speaker 2 (55:30):
I think they were done here.

Speaker 1 (55:31):
What's your favorite date?

Speaker 2 (55:32):
Idea my favorite date?

Speaker 1 (55:34):
Yeah, like okay, realistic and totally like wild out at
of like like impossible. Give me a realistic favorite date
and an impossible favorite date.

Speaker 2 (55:42):
Realistic favorite date? Yeah, I don't know. I don't know, y'a.
I'm a shiro. Like just like a night, like like
we go we go to like a comedy show, right,
and then that's after.

Speaker 1 (55:53):
We have dinner, to come see me perform.

Speaker 2 (55:55):
To come see j perform Flappers and bank.

Speaker 1 (55:57):
We have my very first comedy show, I know.

Speaker 2 (56:00):
That's why I called it that, and then we we
see Jay after, like we'll go to the we'll go
to the late show, right, Like you're gonna do two shows.
You're gonna like headlining. What is it like an eight
and eleven?

Speaker 1 (56:10):
Is this the imaginary date because I'm heading this is
the this is the realistic one or the imaginary this
is the realistic one. Oh okay, they never mind. I'm
not headlining, go.

Speaker 2 (56:15):
Ahead, but I think I don't know. I just feel
like La so beautiful at night, y'all. My Shiro is
so good up on the hill. I feel like that's
a that's a solid date. Anywhere in Pasadena is good too.
I just think Pasadena is such a right. It's very sexy.
The unrealistic date but would be completely ideal. Is you know,
looking at someone and going, I don't know what you

(56:39):
have going on right now. But if you trust me
and you can call in to work and say something
just came up and I can't come in for the
next week. We're going to Santorini, Greece, and we're leaving
right now.

Speaker 1 (56:51):
That's awesome.

Speaker 2 (56:51):
Pack you back like I'll give you an hour, Yeah, yeah,
pack okay, and we're on our way.

Speaker 1 (56:56):
That's great. That's I'm gonna My Instagram is gonna be
f with messages from pretty girls in their thirties. I
want to go to.

Speaker 2 (57:03):
Please. I'll take you to Grease, honestly if you can
be will if you just let me work late, I'll
take you to Grease.

Speaker 1 (57:10):
Just just respect what he does for a living, please,
and don't fucking bother him, and you'll go to fucking Grease. Guys,
I'm just saying it's so fucking worth it, Like, are
you kidding me? Leave me the fuck alone and you'll
take me to Grease? Sign me up? Okay? So my
can I tell you mine?

Speaker 2 (57:25):
Please?

Speaker 1 (57:26):
Even though I'm married, So like this is like Clark needs.

Speaker 2 (57:29):
To say, I need you to separate, like we have
to just for the sake of the conversation.

Speaker 1 (57:33):
My realistic date night would be and this is gonna
sound so stupid, but like and we do do this sometimes,
like just like literally because we have kids. So it
would either be I'm happy being at home, like making popcorn,
having a cute movie night with like champagne, and like
making it like a date night in the house. The
other board, Nah, the other thing I would I would
do it.

Speaker 2 (57:52):
Is not It was charcuterie board.

Speaker 1 (57:54):
I have a lot of CHARCOOTERI in my life. But
that's a story for another time. Keep going. That's a
whole other story. So there's a place in downtown I
like called seventy one above.

Speaker 2 (58:08):
I know it.

Speaker 1 (58:09):
It's one of my favorite places.

Speaker 2 (58:10):
The Tower.

Speaker 1 (58:11):
Yeah, yeah, it's a restaurant on top of the US
Bank Tower that's on the seventy first floor and it's
circular Clark and I've been there a couple of times.
We took friends there thinking they would love it, and
our one friend was a heard of heights.

Speaker 2 (58:23):
It did not go oh no.

Speaker 1 (58:24):
But you can sometimes get a window seat, and every
now and then in the restaurant there's like these beams
that will show like the distance to a major city
all over the world. It's very cool and it's like
one of those things. It's it's not a cheap place.
Is somewhere you go like for a special occasion. It's
like a five course meal. If they know you're there
for a special occasion. The chef makes you these little

(58:44):
yummy little things that he just throws in there. It's
very very sweet. It's a wonderful place. So that would
be like, I think, a realistic good date night, right.
I love that.

Speaker 2 (58:53):
Yeah, it's really Remember the slide when they had the
slide there?

Speaker 1 (58:55):
Yeah, the skylight? Mind do it? Hang on. Let me
just first of all, my old job when I before
I worked from home, I worked at a cosmetic donal
office in Beverly Hills. And one of my coworkers who
was my office husband, his name is Barrett. Hi Barrett.
He would take would take girls on these insane dates,
like I was living vicariously throom, Like what did you
do this weekend? And he would tell me, and he

(59:15):
spent all this money a different girl every but it
didn't matter. Now he is with a girl who he loves.
They're probably gonna get married and that's lovely. But like
this was before, so he did this slide.

Speaker 2 (59:24):
God, his current girl just heard that and she's like, Barrett,
you didn't know she knows?

Speaker 1 (59:28):
Yeah, oh she does. No, So he was like, hey,
he was like, he showed me the slide video. There's
like a slide that you're like in the clouds. And
I don't like heights, guys, I would never do anything
like that. I got coined that my name was the
swing screamer at the La County Fair. You know the
swing you sit in and it just spends you around,

(59:49):
swing screaming. When the entire time I was letting out
one long scream as it was, it was spinning me
around like it was insane. So I just don't I
don't like heights. I don't like being feeling like I'm
being tossed around like a rag doll. I don't like it,
So roller coasters are no, Like I'm not I'm not
a daredevil that way. So anyway that would be my
realistic date would be seventy one above. Unrealistic unrealistic date

(01:00:10):
would be kind of like, what so one thing I
have to give? So my husband did something really awesome
for me once a lot of No, he's done a
lot of awesome things, but this sticks out to me.
It's kind of in the same vein as what you
just said on a trip. I think an unrealistic date
for me would be a trip for sure, like a
last minute trip of like, let's just go to Italy?

Speaker 2 (01:00:31):
Or would you like Jay, if someone said, look, I
talked to your boss. I talked like I've already I've
already cleared that they know that I was surprising you
at this is that? Would that be sexy to you?

Speaker 1 (01:00:41):
Oh my god, so sexy? Yes?

Speaker 2 (01:00:42):
But some people might look at that and go, you
did what, Like, how dare you?

Speaker 1 (01:00:46):
Well, that's that's an ungrateful bitch to get away from
her as soon as possible. I'm just kidding. No, I
get that, But like I feel like, if you know
them enough that you're going to go out of town
with them. You would know that it was okay. You
wouldn't do that, you know what I mean? Like Clark
did something once and it was I was very impressed
with this. We were going to go on a trip
with his cousin and his cousin's wife. Him and his

(01:01:08):
cousin are like brothers, are very close. And all he
told me was we're going out of town. Pack for
warm weather. He didn't tell me where we were going.
That's so good, he said, we're going with my cousin
and his wife.

Speaker 2 (01:01:20):
Amazing.

Speaker 1 (01:01:21):
I said, okay, I said, how do I What kind
of clothes do I pack? He goes, it's June. I go,
so we're not going like it's June. So we're staying
like I don't know where we're going. But he goes,
it's still going to be warm. I said, okay, fine,
So I packed.

Speaker 2 (01:01:31):
It that when women pack for any vacation, they act
like they've never been anywhere ever. It's there's a million questions.
It drives me nuts, well.

Speaker 1 (01:01:37):
Because I need know where I'm going. It doesn't matter.
So so I pack and he doesn't. This is before
like we didn't have the pass on the phone right,
the boarding pass and all this. So you have to
get an actual board ticket, a ticket. It's a piece
of paper. It doesn't matter. Nobody, nobody that young is
listening to us. We're fine. So we get to the airport.
We're at LAX and I still don't know.

Speaker 2 (01:01:59):
I love it.

Speaker 1 (01:01:59):
We go through security. I still don't know. Love this.
He's telling the guy, don't say anything to her. She
has no idea where she's going.

Speaker 2 (01:02:04):
Amazing.

Speaker 1 (01:02:05):
Now, the other couple with us, they know, everyone knows
but me.

Speaker 2 (01:02:08):
They were they holding your ticket?

Speaker 1 (01:02:10):
You weren't holding my ticket. And he goes to the guy,
don't tell her, and the guy goes, have fun in Atlanta,
and I go, thanks for playing. And I walk through
and I go, he better be fucking joking, Clark, because
if you're taking me to fucking Atlanta, I will I
rather have a staycation to stay home. I have never
said anything about Atlanta. I'm sure it's a lovely city.
I have no interest in visiting Atlanta. He's like, you're
not going to fucking Atlanta, Like, shut up and keep walking.
So we're walking down the thing and as I'm walking

(01:02:31):
through Lax, I'm looking at the gates and checking off. Okay,
we're not going to Chicago, We're not going to New York.
We're not going here, We're not going there. And it
was my dream because I grew up in the East Coast.
I always wanted to go to Hawaii. I had never been.
And I worked. When I worked as a personal assistant,
I traveled the world. Literally, my passport was filled in
a year, but I never went to Hawaii. And I've

(01:02:52):
always wanted to go to Hawaii.

Speaker 2 (01:02:53):
I've never been.

Speaker 1 (01:02:54):
Still, It's one of my favorite places in the world,
and I've been to a lot of places.

Speaker 2 (01:03:00):
Going Any young thirty year olds that respect how long
I'd like to go to Hawaiian to take and you
and you want to take me?

Speaker 1 (01:03:06):
Potential young thirty year olds that are listening to this,
this is the ideal situation. Oh my god, this is
like so good. Ripe thirty year olds, please contact us,
keep going. So Jesus Christ. So, so I'm getting very
excited for these girls. So add jokes by Jay Add

(01:03:28):
jokes by j jy Okay, b why yeah, Okay, So
what am I saying? Okay, So we're in the airport
and we're looking at the terminals and I'm like, hey,
we're not going here, We're not going and I'm like
checking off the cities that I see that we're continuing
to walk past the gates and I see Honolulu and
keep walking and I'm like, oh fuck. I was like
we were going to go to Hawaii somehow, and they
could not have planned this because they wouldn't have known.

(01:03:49):
It's the last terminal. So we go through the entire airport.

Speaker 2 (01:03:53):
You've been through the whole US at this point, right.

Speaker 1 (01:03:55):
Yes, it's like a Yes Vegas all the song we
used to sing.

Speaker 2 (01:03:59):
It is a little kid you have a in the
Alabama Arkansas, you know, like the k Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:04:03):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:04:03):
So you're just checking them off, like what's left?

Speaker 1 (01:04:06):
What is nothing left? And I go down to the
end and there's no one even in the terminal. It's
like dead because there's nobody there. And I look at
the sign and this is how dumb I am. Everyone,
by the way, not the sharper's tool in the shed.
But I have street smarts, but I'm not like book
smarts sometimes and I go Conah, where's that? And the
girl who's with us holds up a book that she

(01:04:26):
happened to have. I don't know. She pulled out of
her fucking bag and it says ConA, the Big Island.
And I'm like, and I you have to understand something, guys,
you have to understanding I am a little bit dramatic
about things. Sometimes. I fell to my knees in the
fucking terminal and I was so happy. I was in tears,
and I was thinking.

Speaker 2 (01:04:44):
I'd have called security.

Speaker 1 (01:04:45):
Clark hasn't proposed, but this is his gut out of
Jeil free card. He doesn't have to. He's taking me
to Hawaii. I'm good. Then we get to Hawaii. We're
in Hawaii, we have a huge fight, huge fight, like
how quickly a couple of days and I'm outside crying
and he comes outside and he says to me, like,
I'm worried that, like this trip is going to end,

(01:05:06):
like we're not dating anymore. This is the kind of
fight 'ri having.

Speaker 2 (01:05:07):
We almost almost I gotten playing home.

Speaker 1 (01:05:09):
Really maybe or it's gonna be fucking brutal for the
next few days. And I feel awful that he took
me here and this is how it ended, you know
what I mean, Like you spent this money in this time.
And he said to me outside we're not like there's
no scenario that I don't think we're going to be
able to get through. Like that's not what this is.
Like that wasn't even a thing in his head that
we were going to be done. And I was like oh,
and that like calmed me down. Like I was like, oh,

(01:05:31):
or we're not breaking up. Okay. The next day we
take we rent a car and we go down this
little path and there's like you know, it's like a
rainforest ish, right, like you're kind of like you're gonna
explore stuff. And we park our little jeep and I'm like, guys,
I've seen too many horror movies. We should not be
walking off the beaten path together. Like this is not okay,
this is going to end and this is bad. I'm
probably gonna be the last survivor because I'm the one

(01:05:51):
that's noticing what's going on. Like I've seen this movie
and as were I'm saying this, we walk by like
this one hundred and ten year old man playing a
bandro I'm like, this is bad, dude, this is like
this is like not a good situation. Okay, that's the
best I'm pretty sure. Like he had like one on
I don't know what was going on. It doesn't matter.
So we turn the corner. We turn the corner and

(01:06:12):
it looks like I'm sure everyone listening has seen or
knows The Little Mermaid, of course, and you look, it
looks like a screensaver. It's like this rock that goes
out and the waves are just crashing up against the
side of the rock. And I'm like, what is this?
And we go out to the rock like we're like
balancing to walk on the rock. It's a little bit
slipper because it was like algae and stuff. And we
turn over taking pictures and and and my husband had

(01:06:34):
like a really nice camera and he gives it to
his cousin Clinton, and Clinton's taking pictures of us. And
as we're taking pictures, we're arm in arm because we're
like on this little rock and we're like locked in
like to not fall. And Clark starts to slip and
I'm like, oh my god. And I look and i
look down and he's getting on a knee.

Speaker 2 (01:06:50):
Oh my And.

Speaker 1 (01:06:51):
I'm like, oh my god. And I'm like and over
and over and over again, I'm like, what are you doing?
What are you doing? What are you doing? Like I couldn't.
I didn't. I was like on and I didn't know
that Clinton the whole time is not toking pictures. He's
recording this with the cameras filming it. So I look
back at Clark. I don't even know what he said
to this day, I couldn't tell you. And the waves
were crashing. I know that he opened the box and

(01:07:11):
went like this, and he flipped it over because it
was upside down. Had it fallen out, oh, it would
have been gone. Would have been the end of us,
because I would have kicked him right into the water
like an idiot, you know, I bounced right off the
rock and went into the ocean. Nope, because the waves,
you'd never find that it's done anyway. That didn't happen, obviously,
and it was the most incredible trip ever. So it
was a surprise and it was like, oh my god,
you know, and then he got me and he's never

(01:07:32):
surprised me like that ever since. So if you want
to take me on a trip, babe, it'd be great,
not just kidding.

Speaker 2 (01:07:36):
If anyone wants to take j on the trip, it's
at Ryan Man, I'll filter Sorry Clark, we didn't touch
on and man, if we ever do a relationship show again,
and this.

Speaker 1 (01:07:47):
Is something we should this would be two parts.

Speaker 2 (01:07:49):
It should be two parts. I very literally said to
you before we started recording, I said, Hey, would you
like to meet my ex wife?

Speaker 1 (01:07:55):
Yeah? Because for those works right next.

Speaker 2 (01:07:59):
Door and she works right here. Yeah, and so there's uh,
there's a whole there's a whole lot there.

Speaker 1 (01:08:05):
I'm not also a radio host yet she is. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:08:07):
We do a competing morning shows, which we also did.

Speaker 1 (01:08:09):
While we while we were married.

Speaker 2 (01:08:11):
Yeah, and my brother was her co host too at
the time.

Speaker 1 (01:08:13):
Oh wow, So it was a whole scandalous.

Speaker 2 (01:08:15):
I know it's wild, but.

Speaker 1 (01:08:19):
You guys are friends now. Well, it took a little
bit what happened there, It did take a little bit.
Tell us the story or not? What do you want
to I.

Speaker 2 (01:08:27):
Don't know that I'm going to tell the tell the whole.
I mean, there's a lot that I Am not going
to tell. But it took us. It took us a while.
But like, I think the world of her. She's remarried.
I you know, I have met her husband a couple
of times. He's great. I have nothing but love for her,
and she and I are finally like in this really
great place where the other day I was actually in

(01:08:49):
the bathroom I heard her telling a story on the
radio because I played different stations here in the hall,
and I saw her in the hole. I'm like, oh
my god, Jill, that story you told, Like I was
laughing out loud. And she's like, oh my god, sit
down and watch the video that goes the story. So
we're like be able to like sit down and this.

Speaker 1 (01:09:03):
Yeah, And coworkers walk by and they're like, oh, finally,
So what would be your advice to someone that does
have an ex that they have to work with or
see in any capacity. Maybe it's like, uh, you know
what it is, parents, or I'm going to tell you
what it is.

Speaker 2 (01:09:14):
And I remember the day that it happened. It was
on It was the day that we flipped to holiday
music on Covember fifteenth. No, not this past year.

Speaker 1 (01:09:23):
It doesn't matter every year. You guys do it. Yes
it is.

Speaker 2 (01:09:26):
It's not Jay, I know I've been doing this for
a decade. You can say that it's not going to
be the fifteen.

Speaker 1 (01:09:30):
In my world.

Speaker 2 (01:09:31):
That is. Do you want to go to the Disney
party or not? Because otherwise yes, I do? Right, all right,
My mom wants to go by the way, that's fine,
she's in Okay, what up, Lindau. So I remember we
had had champagne, and like, I just something came over
me where I was like, and honestly, and I'll be
honest about this, there's certain things that I'm not I'm

(01:09:52):
not going to say. But it got to the point
where it was like I didn't want to leave the
studio to go to the bathroom, go to the printer
because it was awkward, right to run into.

Speaker 1 (01:09:59):
Your house in the beginning, I'm terrible, yes, yes.

Speaker 2 (01:10:02):
And I'm like, I'm tired of living this way right, Like,
I love, I'm so comfortable here. We're all family here,
this is and I shouldn't say family, but we're all
cordinal you are, And I just got so fed up
with it and I I'll never forget this. And maybe
I'm oversharing, but that's okay, say it anyway. I went
to their studio window and I saw us sitting in there,

(01:10:22):
and I opened the door and I said, hey, I
know this is probably not the voice you're expecting to
hear behind you, but you have a minute. She said,
of course, And I said, can we just go in
our office and talk for a second. And I said, look,
I don't love feeling tension. I said, you know was
what it was. It is what it is. It's our

(01:10:45):
state of isness. And I would love to just give
you a hug and just say can like let's just
start over. And she said, I mean there were tears
and it was.

Speaker 1 (01:10:59):
Like the long especially probably wanted that too.

Speaker 2 (01:11:01):
Of course, And I think that's what it is. So
that's the advice. So if you have to work with
an X. You just asked that question, and that was
my long way of getting to a very short answer,
disarm it and whatever you have to do to be
the bigger person or I'm not saying one was bigger
or smaller. I just think take the necessary steps to
make sure that you bury whatever baggage or whatever is

(01:11:24):
like weighing you down, no matter how bad it was,
no matter.

Speaker 1 (01:11:26):
How yeah, because also the other person has their own
chick on it.

Speaker 2 (01:11:30):
Yeah, And so I just think the best thing you
can do, and no matter what, even if it's you
being even if it's you like swallowing your pride or
doing it against your I don't know what you think
you should do or if you're a guy and you're like, no,
I'd never say sorry, say say you're sorry. Just go
give that person a hog and say, look, it didn't work.
I have nothing but love for you. I want the

(01:11:53):
best for you. That's it. And mean it, God damn it.
Don't just say it. Mean it. Mean it, mean it,
mean it. And it changes everything. And to the point where,
and this is not something we talk about on the
radio or on social media, but to the point where
Jill and I have daily conversations that you know, would
blow people's mind because there were Reddit threads about why

(01:12:14):
did they break up? All these spectatas, but people don't
know the good things. Yeah, and there are good things.
That's also what happens online. Unfortunately.

Speaker 1 (01:12:21):
When I think you do something like what you guys do,
and you're in the public eye to some degree, right
or at least a pretty decent sized pocket of it,
you know people are gonna you know, oh they fill
in the game. Oh my god, it's like a vacuum
that they just fill show it. And I think that like,
sometimes even if you put the truth out there, it's
not as it's not as yummy as the battle that

(01:12:42):
they're going to create. That's not real, right, So it's
like and there is that, And so I even know
from working in the industry as a as a personal assistant,
I will never forget the day I was getting my
nails done two weeks after I started working for someone
who's an international superstar, and I'm sitting in the chair
and I'm reading one of these sorry I call them
ragmy because they're like US Weekly people, you know, one
of these. I'm reading US Weekly and there was there

(01:13:04):
was this two it's a two page spread on this
person's estate. And I worked for them, right, and I'm like,
two page spread on their estate? What do you mean?
We didn't do an interview with anyone. And I'm flipping
through and the two pages is the neighbor's house and
I'm like, and I got so mad because I'm like, ma'am, no,

(01:13:24):
I can't even read these they're lies. Like I like,
that's what I realized that those magazines were not true. Yeah,
And I was so bummed. So it's like, you, the
fact that you guys have that despite whatever the hell's online,
because people are going to do that all the time,
you know, is really beautiful. And I think that's awesome.

Speaker 2 (01:13:39):
It is awesome.

Speaker 1 (01:13:40):
It's really great, and you're awesome. You're awesome.

Speaker 2 (01:13:43):
We've gone long, Jay, Yeah, yeah, all right, let's wrap
it up. Unlike your husband who doesn't want to wrap
it up.

Speaker 1 (01:13:52):
No, he doesn't. He needs to snip it up, is
what he needs to do. Okay, guys, listen, that's enough.
If today's episode made you laugh, cry, or delete some
one from your phone, tag us and tell us about it.
And also, please don't we're not joking about sending me girls.
Come on, we gotta get Ryan with somebody. He's such
a good dude. Either that or I'm gonna have to
sabotage my sister's relationship with her boyfriend and get her

(01:14:13):
to be with Ryan because he needs to be in
my family some way. So you're also gonna be part
of my family. Whoever you are, mystery girl. Okay, okay, yeah, yeah,
I need you in my life like permanently, you know
what I mean. In case this shit doesn't work out,
this podcast goes nowhere. We need to figure out someone
that I know that you can date.

Speaker 2 (01:14:29):
Yeah, and look, we also I just realized we have
like live phone lines too.

Speaker 1 (01:14:34):
Oh my god, how are you doing?

Speaker 2 (01:14:38):
He's just calling out. But I'm just saying, you know,
if it got to that point, and next week, maybe
if someone's like, how can you guys call me? Oh
my god, we can like a phone, you know what
I'm saying, Yes, yeah, or if you want to get involved,
to send us your best worst date story. I don't know,
we might read it on the show.

Speaker 1 (01:14:54):
Definitely. Well all right, guys, next week we're gonna be
talking about something totally different unless we we whatever. This
kind of if, I think is gonna get like sewn in,
you know, but I think so it's just who we are,
roll over the place, you know. Until then, I'm Ryan,
I'm Jay, and this is say it anyway

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Episode 2 | REALationships

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