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Old Rambling House by Frank Herbert. All the Graham's desired
was a home they could call their own. But what
did the home want? On his last night on earth,
Ted Graham stepped out of a glass walled telephone booth,
ducked to avoid a swooping moth that battered itself in
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a frenzy against a bare globe above the booth. Ted
Graham was a long necked man with a head of
pronounced egg shape topped by prematurely balding sandy hair. Something
about his lanky, intense appearance suggested his occupation certified public accountant.
He stopped behind his wife, who was studying a newspaper
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classified page, and frowned. They said to wait here, they'll
come get us, said, the place is hard to find
at night. Martha Graham looked up from the newspaper. She
was a doll faced woman, heavily pregnant, a kind of
pink prettiness about her. The yellow glow from the light
above the booth subdued the red auburn cast of her
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ponytail hair. I just have to be in a house
when the baby's born, she said, What they sound like?
I don't know. There was a funny kind of interruption,
like an argument in some foreign language. Did they sound
foreign in a way? He motioned along the night shrouded
line of trailers toward one with two windows glowing amber.
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Let's wait inside. These bugs out here are fierce. Did
you tell them which trailer is ours? Yes, they didn't
sound at all anxious to look at it. That's odd
them wanting to trade their house for a trailer. There's
nothing odd about it. They've probably just got itchy feet,
like we did. He appeared not to hear her. Funniest
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sounding language you ever heard? What that argument started? Like
a squirt of noise inside the trailer. Ted Graham sat
down on the green couch that opened into a double
bed for company. They could use a good tax accountant
around here, he said. When I first saw the place,
I got that definite feeling. The valley looks prosperous. It's
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a wonder nobody's opened an office here before. His wife
took a straight chair by the counter separating kitchen and
living area, folded her hands across her heavy stomach. I'm
just continental tired of wheels going around under me, she said.
I want to sit and stare at the same view
for the rest of my life. I don't know how
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a trailer ever seemed glamorous when it was The inheritance
gave us itchy feet, he said, tires gritted on gravel outside.
Martha Graham straightened. Could that be them? Awful quick? If
it is? He went to the door, opened it, stared
down at the man who was just raising a hand
to knock. Are you mister, Graham asked the man. Yes,
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he found himself, stare at the collar. I'm Clint Rush.
You called about the house. The man moved farther into
the light. At first he'd appeared an old man, fine
wrinkled lines in his face, a tired leather look to
his skin. But as he moved his head in the light,
the wrinkles seemed to dissolve, and with them the years
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lifted from him. Yes, we called, said Ted Graham. He
stood aside. Do you want to look at the trailer now?
Martha Graham crossed the stand beside her husband. We've kept
it in awfully good shape, she said, We've never let
anything get seriously wrong with it. She sounds too anxious,
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thought Ted Graham. I wish you'd let me do the
talking for the two of us. We can come back
and look at your trailer tomorrow in daylight, said Rush.
My car's right out here if you'd like to see
our house. Ted Graham hesitated. He felt a nagging worry
tug at his mind. Tried to fix his attention on
what bothered him. Hadn't we better take our car? He asked,
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We could follow you, No need, said Rush. We're coming
back into town to night. Anyway we can drop you
off then, Ted Graham nodded, be right with you as
soon as I lock up. Inside the car, Rush mumbled introductions.
His wife was a dark shadow in the front seat,
her hair drawn back in a severe bun. Her features
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suggested gipsy blood. He called her Raymie, odd name, thought
Ted Graham, and he noticed that she too gave the
strange first impression of age that melted in a shift
of light. Missus Rush turned her gypsy features toward Martha Graham.
You are going to have a baby. It came out
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as an odd, veiled statement. Abruptly, the car rolled forward.
Martha Graham said, it's supposed to be borne and a
about two months. We hope it's a boy. Missus Rush
looked at her husband, I have changed my mind, she said,
Rush spoke, without taking his attention from the road. It
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is too He broke off, spoke in a tumble of
strange sounds. Ted Graham recognized it as the language he'd
heard on the telephone. Missus Rush answered in the same tongue,
anger showing in the intensity of her voice. Her husband replied,
his voice calmer presently. Missus Rush fell moodily silent. Rush
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tipped his head toward the rear of the car. My
wife has moments when she does not want to get
rid of the old house. It has been with her
for many years. Ted Graham said, Oh, then, are you Spanish?
Rush hesitated, No, we're Basque. He turned the car down
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a well lighted avenue that merged and too a highway.
They turned onto a side road. There followed more turns left, right, right.
Ted Graham lost track. They had a jolting bump that
made Martha gasp, I hope that was too rough on you, said, Rush,
We're almost there. The car swung into a lane, its
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lights picking out the skeleton outlines of trees. Peculiar trees, tall, gaunt, leafless.
They added to Ted Graham's feeling of uneasiness. The lane dipped,
ending at a low wall of a house, red brick,
with clearstery windows beneath overhanging eaves. The effect of the
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wall and a wide beamed door they could see to
the left was ultra modern. Ted Graham helped his wife
out of the car, followed the Rushes to the door.
I thought you told me it was an old house,
he said. It was designed by one of the first modernists,
said Rush. He fumbled with an odd curved key. The
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wide door swung open onto a hallway equally wide, carpeted
by a deep pile rug. They could glimpse floor to
ceiling view windows at the end of the hall, city
lights beyond. Martha Graham gasped entered the hall as though
in a trance. Ted Graham followed, heard the door close
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behind them. It's so so, so big, exclaimed Martha Graham.
You want a trade this for our trailer, asked Ted Graham.
It's too inconvenient for us, said Rush. My work is
over the mountains, on the coasts. He shrugged. We cannot
sell it. Ted Graham looked at him sharply. Isn't there
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any money round here? He had a sudden vision of
a tax accountant with no customers, plenty of money, but
no real estate customers. They entered the living room. Sectional
divans lined the walls. Subdued lighting glowed from the corners.
Two paintings hung on the opposite walls oblongs of odd
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lines and twists that made Ted Graham dizzy. Warning bells
clamored in his mind. Martha Graham crossed to the windows,
looked at the lights far away below. I had no
idea we'd climbed that far, she said, It's like a
fairy city. Missus Rush emitted a short, nervous laugh. Ted
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Graham glanced around the room. Thought, if the rest of
the house is like this, it's worth fifty or sixty thousand.
He thought of the trailer, a good one, but not
worth more than seven thousand. Uneasiness was like a neon
sign flashing in his mind. This seems so, he shook
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his head. Would you like to see the rest of
the house, asked Rush. Martha Graham turned from the window.
Oh yes, Ted Graham shrugged. No harm in looking, he thought.
When they returned to the living room, Ted Graham had
doubled his previous estimate on the house's value His brain
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reeled with the summing of it. A solirium with an
entire ceiling covered by sun lamps, and automatic laundry where
you drop soiled clothing down a chute took it washed
and ironed from the other end. Perhaps you and your
wife would like to discuss it in private, said Rush.
We will leave you for a moment, and they were
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gone before Ted Graham could protest. Martha Graham said, Ted,
I honestly never in my life dreamed something's very wrong, honey.
But Ted, this house is worth at least a hundred
thousand dollars, maybe more, and they want to trade this.
He looked around him for a seven thousand dollar trailer. Ted.
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They're foreigners, And if they're so foolish they don't know
the value of this place, then why should I don't
like it? He said again, He looked around the room,
recalled the fantastic equipment of the house. But maybe you're right.
He stared out at the city lights. They had a
lacelike quality, tall buildings linked by lines of flickering in condescence,
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something like a Roman candle shot skyward in the distance.
O K, he said, If they want a trade, let's
go push the deal. Abruptly, the house shuddered, the city
lights blinked out. A humming sound filled the air. Martha
Graham clutched her husband's arm, Ted what what was that?
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I dunno, he turned, mister Rush. No answer, only the humming.
The door at the end of the room opened. A
strange man came through it. He wore a short, togalike
garment of gray metallic cloth, belted at the waist by
something that glittered and shimmered through every color of the
spectrum of coldness and power emanated from him a sense
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of untouchable hauteur. He glanced around the room spoke in
the same tongue the Rushes had used. Ted Graham said,
I don't understand you, mister. The man put a hand
to his flickering belt. Both Ted and Martha Graham felt
themselves rooted to the floor, a tingling sensation vibrating along
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every nerve. Again, the strange language rolled from the man's tongue,
but now the words were understood. Who are you? My
name's Graham, This is my wife. What's going? How did
you get here? The Rushes they wanted to trade us
this house for our trailer. They brought us. Now look
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we what is your talent? Your occupation? Tax accountant? Say?
Why all these? That was to be expected, said the man. Clever, Oh,
excessively clever. His hand moved again to the belt. Now
be very quiet, this may confuse you. Momentarily, colored lights
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filled both the Graham's mines. They staggered. You are qualified,
said the man. You will serve. Where are we demanded
Martha Graham. The coordinates would not be intelligible to you,
he said, I am of the Rojack. It is sufficient
for you to know that you are under Rojack sovereignty.
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Ted Graham said, but you have in a way been kidnapped,
and the Ramese have fled to your planet, an unregistered planet.
I am afraid, Martha Graham said, shakily. You have nothing
to fear, said the man. You are no longer on
the planet of your birth, nor even in the same galaxy.
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He glanced at Ted Graham's wrists. That device on your
wrist it tells your local time. Yes, that will help
in the search. And your son, can you describe its
atomic cycle? Ted Graham groped in his mind for his
science memories from school from the Sunday supplements. I can
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recall that our galaxy is a spiral, like most galaxies
are spiral. Is this some kind of practical joke? Asked
Ted Graham. The man smiled a cold, superior smile. It
is no joke. Now I will make you a proposition.
Ted nodded warily. All right, let's have this stinger. The
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people who brought you here were tax collectors we ROJC
recruited from a subject planet. They were conditioned to make
it impossible for them to leave their job untended. Unfortunately,
they were clever enough to realize that if they brought
someone else in who could do their job, they were
released from their mental bonds. Very clever, But you may
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have their job, said the man. Normally you would be
put to work in the lower echalons, but we believe
in meeting out justice wherever possible. The Ramies undoubtedly stumbled
on your planet by accident and lured you into this
position without How do you know I can do your job?
That moment of brilliance was an aptitude test you passed. Well,
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do you accept? What about our baby? Martha? Graham worriedly
wanted to know you will be allowed to keep it
until it reaches the age of decision, about the time
it will take the child to reach adult stature. Then, what,
insisted Martha Graham, The child will take its position in
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society according to its ability. Will we ever see our
child after that? Possibly? Ted Graham said, what's the joker
in this? Again? The cold superior smile. You will receive
conditioning similar to that which we gave the Ramies, and
we will want to examine your memories to aid us
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in search for your planet. It would be good to
find a new inhabitable place. Why did they trap us
like this, asked Martha Graham. It's lonely work. The man explained.
Your house is actually a type of space conveyance that
travels along your collection route, and there is much travel
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to the job, and then you will not have friends
nor time for much other than work. Our methods are
necessarily severe at times travel, Martha Graham repeated in dismay,
Almost constantly. Ted Graham felt his mind whirling, and behind
him he heard his wife sobbing. The Ramis said, in
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what had been the Graham's trailer for a few moments,
I feared he would not succumb to the bait. She said,
I knew you could never overcome the mental compulsion enough
to leave them there without their first agreeing Remy chuckled, Yes.
And now I'm going to indulge in everything the Rojack
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never permitted. I'm going to write ballads and poems, and
I'm going to paint. She said, Oh, the delicious freedom
greed won this for us, He said. The long study
of the Grahams paid off. They couldn't refuse to trade.
I knew they'd agree. The looks in their eyes when
they saw the house they both had. She broke off,
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a look of horror coming into her eyes. One of
them did not agree. They both did. You heard them
the baby, he stared at his wife. But but it
is not at the age of decision. In perhaps eighteen
of this planet's years, it will be at the age
of decision. What then, His shoulders sagged. He shuddered. I
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will not be able to fight it off. I will
have to build a transmitter, call the Rojack and confess,
and they will collect another inhabitable place. She said, her
voice flat and toneless. I've spoiled it, he said, I've
spoiled it. End of Old Rambling House by Frank Herbert