August 18, 2025 • 12 mins
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
The Doorway by Evelyn E. Smith. A discerning critic once
pointed out that Edgar Allan Poe possessed not so much
a distinctive style as a distinctive manner. So startlingly original
was his approach to the dark castles and haunted woodlands
of his own somber creation that he trescended the literary
(00:22):
by the sheer magic of his prose. Something of that
same magic gleams in the darkly tapestried little fantasy presented
here beneath Evelyn Smith's airily enchanted Wand a man may
wish he'd married his first love and not really mean it,
(00:42):
but an insincere wish may turn ugly and dimensions unknown.
It is my theory, Professor Fallaballa said, helping himself to
a cooky, that no one ever really makes a decision.
What really happened is that whenever alternative courses of actions
(01:03):
are called for, the individuality splits up and continues on
two or more divergent planes, very much like the parthenogenesis
of unicellular animal. Delicious cookies. These missus hughes, Thank you,
Professor Gloria Sumpered. I made them myself. You must give
(01:24):
us the recipe, said one of the ladies, and the
others murmured agreement, glad to get their individualities on a
plane they could understand. Since most decisions are hardly as
momentous as the individual imagines, Professor Follabello continued, and since
the imagination of the average individual is very limited, many
(01:46):
of these different planes, or as they are colloquially known,
space time continuums, may exist in close, even tangential relationship.
Glory arose unobtrusively and took the teapot to the kitchen
for a refill. Her husband stood by the sink, moodily
drinking whiskey out of the bottle so as to avoid
(02:08):
having to wash a glass afterward. Bill, you're not being
polite to our guests. Why don't you go out and
listen to Professor Vallabella. I can hear him perfectly well
from here, Bill muttered, and indeed the Professor's molifluous tones
pervaded every nook and cranny of the thin walled house.
(02:29):
Long winded Caltus, What is he a professor of? I'd
like to know. Professor Vallabella is not a cultist, affirmed
Gloria angrily, he's a great philosopher. Bill Hughes said something unprintable.
If I'd married Lucy Allison, he continued, unkindly, she'd never
(02:51):
have filled the house with long haired cultis on my
so called day of rest. Gloria's soft chin trembled and
her blue eyes filled with tears. She was beginning to
put on weight. He noticed, I've been hearing nothing but
Lucy Allison, Lucy Allison, Lucy Allison, for the past year.
You said yourself. She looked like a horse. Horses, he observed,
(03:17):
have sense he was being brutal, but he couldn't help
it and didn't want to. Professor Fallabella was only the
most long winded of a long series of mystics. Gloria
was forever dragging into the house the trouble with the
half educated, He thought, bitterly, is that the sea culture
(03:38):
in the most peculiar places. I'll bet she would have
let me have peace on Sunday, he said. It just
goes to show what happens when you marry a woman
solely for her looks. He drained the bottle, then hurled
it into the garbage pail with a resounding crash. Gloria's
shoulders shook as she filled the kettle. I wish I'd
(04:00):
decided to be an old maid, she sobbed, A very
unlikely possibility, he thought. Even now shop worn as she was,
Gloria could have a fairly wide range of suitors should
something happen to him. She looked sexy, but how deceiving
appearances could be. Professor Vallabella was still talking as Bill
(04:23):
and Gloria emerged from the kitchen. I believe that it
is possible for an individual who exists on a limited
plane of imagination to transpose from one plane to an
adjacent one without difficulty. Great heavens, what was that? Something
had whisked past the archway leading into the foyer. Don't
(04:46):
pay any attention, Gloria smiled nervously. The house is haunted,
my dear, One of the ladies offered, I know of
the most marvelous exterminator the house, Gloria assured her coldly.
Really is haunted. We've been seeing things ever since we
(05:06):
moved in, and she really believed it. Bill thought believed
that the house was haunted. That is, of course, he
had seen things too, but he was enlightened enough to
know that ghosts don't exist even if you do see them.
Professor Vallabella cleared his throat as I was saying, it
(05:27):
is possible to send the individual through another well dimensioned
as some popular writers would have it, to one of
his other spatial existences on the same temporal plane. It
is merely necessary for him to find the door. Nonsense.
Bill interrupted, wholly unmitigated nonsense. Every head swiveled to look
(05:51):
at him. Gloria restrained tears with an effort prooved. Someone muttered,
but ridicule, apparently only stimuli the professor, he beamed. You
don't believe me. Your imagination cannot extend the comprehension of
multifariousness of space. Nonsense. Bill said again, but less confidently.
(06:15):
I believe that I have discovered the doorway, Professor Pallabella continued,
and the way is open. However, most people fear to
penetrate the unknown, even though it is to enter another
phase of their own existence. I do admit that the
shock of spatial transference, no matter how slight, combined with
(06:35):
the concrete awareness of a previous spatial relationship, would be
perhaps too much for the keenly sensitive individualism. Bill opened
his mouth. I know what you're about to say, young man,
you don't have to be a mind reader to know that.
Bill assured him. His consonants were already a little slurred,
(06:55):
and he knew Gloria was ashamed of him. It served
her right, He'd been ashamed of her for years. Professor
Folabella smiled. His teeth were very sharp and white. Very well,
mister Hughes, since you are a skeptic, perhaps you will
not object to being the subject of our experiment yourself.
(07:15):
What kind of experiment, Bill asked, suspiciously. Merely go through
the door. Any door can become the doorway if it
is transposed into the proper spatial dimension that door, for instance,
Professor Flabella waved his hand toward the doorway of what
Gloria like to call Bill's study. You mean you just
(07:39):
want me to open the door and go into that room,
Bill said, incredulously. That's all. That is all. Of course,
you go with the awareness that it is the threshold
of another plane, and that you step voluntarily from this
existence to an adjacent one. Sure, Bill said, he had
(08:01):
just remembered there was a nearly full bottle of Calvert
in the bottom drawer of the desk. Sure, anything to
oblige very well. Go to the door, and keep remembering
that of your own free will, you are passing from
this plane to the next. Look out everybody. Beau called
raucously as he pulled open the door. I'm coming in
(08:23):
on the next plane. No one laughed. He stepped over
the threshold, shutting the door firmly behind him. A wonderful
excuse to get away from those blasted women. He'd climb
out of the window as soon as he collected the
whisky and give them a nervous moment, thinking he'd really
passed into another existence. It would serve Gloria Wright for
(08:46):
a moment. As he crossed, he had a queer sensation.
Maybe there was something in what Professor Follabella said. But no,
there he was in the study. All that mumbo jumbo
was getting him down. That was all. He was a
nervous man. Only nobody appreciated the fact. Taking a cigarette
(09:07):
out of the pack in his pocket, he reached for
the letter on his desk. It wasn't there. Time and
time again, he told Gloria not to touch his things,
and always she disobeyed him. Company was coming and she
must tidy up cooking and cleaning. That was all she
was good for. But this was carrying tidiness too far.
(09:27):
She'd even removed the ash trays. And where did that
glass block paper weight come from? He'd had a penguin
and a snow storm, and he'd been happy with it.
This was too much, he told Gloria off stealing a
man's penguin. He opened the door into the living room
and bumped into Lucy Allison. Don't you think you've been
(09:48):
in there long enough? Bill, she asked acridly. I'm sure
your guests would appreciate catching a glimpse of you. Why hullo, Lucy,
he said, surprised. I didn't know, Gloria, I had invited you. Gloria, Gloria, Gloria,
Lucy cut off his sentence. You've been talking about nothing
but that dumb little blonde for months because of the
(10:10):
people in the room beyond. Her voice was pitched low,
but her pale eyes glittered unpleasantly behind her spectacles. I
wish you had married her. You'd have made a fine pair.
Gently caressingly, the short hairs on the back of Bill's
neck rose. Come back in here, Lucy said, hauling him
(10:30):
back into the living room, where a number of people
who had been enjoying the domestic fracas suddenly broke into
loud and animated chatter. Doctor Hildebrand was telling us all
about nuclear fission. Can't find an ashtray, Bill muttered, seizing
on something tangible. Can't find an ashtray in the whole
darn place. We've been over this millions of times, Bill,
(10:54):
you know. She smiled at the guests, a smile that
carefully excluded Bill. I'm alert to smoke, but I never
can get my husband to remember he isn't to smoke
inside the house. Now take the neutron, for example, Doctor
Hildebrand said, through a mouthful of petie. What is the neutron?
Is only? What was that? The wraith of Gloria crossed
(11:20):
the foyer and disappeared. Bill took a step forward, then
stood still. Lucy smiled self consciously. That's nothing at all.
The house is merely haunted. Everyone laughed. Forgot something, Bill
muttered and dashed back into the study. He yanked open
the bottom door of the desk. Sure enough, there was
(11:42):
a bottle of Shenley, nearly a third full. There are
some advantages, he thought, as he tilted it to his
lips in having a limited imagination end of the doorway
by Evelyn, Eastmouth
The Doorway by Evelyn E. Smith. A discerning critic once
pointed out that Edgar Allan Poe possessed not so much
a distinctive style as a distinctive manner. So startlingly original
was his approach to the dark castles and haunted woodlands
of his own somber creation that he trescended the literary
(00:22):
by the sheer magic of his prose. Something of that
same magic gleams in the darkly tapestried little fantasy presented
here beneath Evelyn Smith's airily enchanted Wand a man may
wish he'd married his first love and not really mean it,
(00:42):
but an insincere wish may turn ugly and dimensions unknown.
It is my theory, Professor Fallaballa said, helping himself to
a cooky, that no one ever really makes a decision.
What really happened is that whenever alternative courses of actions
(01:03):
are called for, the individuality splits up and continues on
two or more divergent planes, very much like the parthenogenesis
of unicellular animal. Delicious cookies. These missus hughes, Thank you,
Professor Gloria Sumpered. I made them myself. You must give
(01:24):
us the recipe, said one of the ladies, and the
others murmured agreement, glad to get their individualities on a
plane they could understand. Since most decisions are hardly as
momentous as the individual imagines, Professor Follabello continued, and since
the imagination of the average individual is very limited, many
(01:46):
of these different planes, or as they are colloquially known,
space time continuums, may exist in close, even tangential relationship.
Glory arose unobtrusively and took the teapot to the kitchen
for a refill. Her husband stood by the sink, moodily
drinking whiskey out of the bottle so as to avoid
(02:08):
having to wash a glass afterward. Bill, you're not being
polite to our guests. Why don't you go out and
listen to Professor Vallabella. I can hear him perfectly well
from here, Bill muttered, and indeed the Professor's molifluous tones
pervaded every nook and cranny of the thin walled house.
(02:29):
Long winded Caltus, What is he a professor of? I'd
like to know. Professor Vallabella is not a cultist, affirmed
Gloria angrily, he's a great philosopher. Bill Hughes said something unprintable.
If I'd married Lucy Allison, he continued, unkindly, she'd never
(02:51):
have filled the house with long haired cultis on my
so called day of rest. Gloria's soft chin trembled and
her blue eyes filled with tears. She was beginning to
put on weight. He noticed, I've been hearing nothing but
Lucy Allison, Lucy Allison, Lucy Allison, for the past year.
You said yourself. She looked like a horse. Horses, he observed,
(03:17):
have sense he was being brutal, but he couldn't help
it and didn't want to. Professor Fallabella was only the
most long winded of a long series of mystics. Gloria
was forever dragging into the house the trouble with the
half educated, He thought, bitterly, is that the sea culture
(03:38):
in the most peculiar places. I'll bet she would have
let me have peace on Sunday, he said. It just
goes to show what happens when you marry a woman
solely for her looks. He drained the bottle, then hurled
it into the garbage pail with a resounding crash. Gloria's
shoulders shook as she filled the kettle. I wish I'd
(04:00):
decided to be an old maid, she sobbed, A very
unlikely possibility, he thought. Even now shop worn as she was,
Gloria could have a fairly wide range of suitors should
something happen to him. She looked sexy, but how deceiving
appearances could be. Professor Vallabella was still talking as Bill
(04:23):
and Gloria emerged from the kitchen. I believe that it
is possible for an individual who exists on a limited
plane of imagination to transpose from one plane to an
adjacent one without difficulty. Great heavens, what was that? Something
had whisked past the archway leading into the foyer. Don't
(04:46):
pay any attention, Gloria smiled nervously. The house is haunted,
my dear, One of the ladies offered, I know of
the most marvelous exterminator the house, Gloria assured her coldly.
Really is haunted. We've been seeing things ever since we
(05:06):
moved in, and she really believed it. Bill thought believed
that the house was haunted. That is, of course, he
had seen things too, but he was enlightened enough to
know that ghosts don't exist even if you do see them.
Professor Vallabella cleared his throat as I was saying, it
(05:27):
is possible to send the individual through another well dimensioned
as some popular writers would have it, to one of
his other spatial existences on the same temporal plane. It
is merely necessary for him to find the door. Nonsense.
Bill interrupted, wholly unmitigated nonsense. Every head swiveled to look
(05:51):
at him. Gloria restrained tears with an effort prooved. Someone muttered,
but ridicule, apparently only stimuli the professor, he beamed. You
don't believe me. Your imagination cannot extend the comprehension of
multifariousness of space. Nonsense. Bill said again, but less confidently.
(06:15):
I believe that I have discovered the doorway, Professor Pallabella continued,
and the way is open. However, most people fear to
penetrate the unknown, even though it is to enter another
phase of their own existence. I do admit that the
shock of spatial transference, no matter how slight, combined with
(06:35):
the concrete awareness of a previous spatial relationship, would be
perhaps too much for the keenly sensitive individualism. Bill opened
his mouth. I know what you're about to say, young man,
you don't have to be a mind reader to know that.
Bill assured him. His consonants were already a little slurred,
(06:55):
and he knew Gloria was ashamed of him. It served
her right, He'd been ashamed of her for years. Professor
Folabella smiled. His teeth were very sharp and white. Very well,
mister Hughes, since you are a skeptic, perhaps you will
not object to being the subject of our experiment yourself.
(07:15):
What kind of experiment, Bill asked, suspiciously. Merely go through
the door. Any door can become the doorway if it
is transposed into the proper spatial dimension that door, for instance,
Professor Flabella waved his hand toward the doorway of what
Gloria like to call Bill's study. You mean you just
(07:39):
want me to open the door and go into that room,
Bill said, incredulously. That's all. That is all. Of course,
you go with the awareness that it is the threshold
of another plane, and that you step voluntarily from this
existence to an adjacent one. Sure, Bill said, he had
(08:01):
just remembered there was a nearly full bottle of Calvert
in the bottom drawer of the desk. Sure, anything to
oblige very well. Go to the door, and keep remembering
that of your own free will, you are passing from
this plane to the next. Look out everybody. Beau called
raucously as he pulled open the door. I'm coming in
(08:23):
on the next plane. No one laughed. He stepped over
the threshold, shutting the door firmly behind him. A wonderful
excuse to get away from those blasted women. He'd climb
out of the window as soon as he collected the
whisky and give them a nervous moment, thinking he'd really
passed into another existence. It would serve Gloria Wright for
(08:46):
a moment. As he crossed, he had a queer sensation.
Maybe there was something in what Professor Follabella said. But no,
there he was in the study. All that mumbo jumbo
was getting him down. That was all. He was a
nervous man. Only nobody appreciated the fact. Taking a cigarette
(09:07):
out of the pack in his pocket, he reached for
the letter on his desk. It wasn't there. Time and
time again, he told Gloria not to touch his things,
and always she disobeyed him. Company was coming and she
must tidy up cooking and cleaning. That was all she
was good for. But this was carrying tidiness too far.
(09:27):
She'd even removed the ash trays. And where did that
glass block paper weight come from? He'd had a penguin
and a snow storm, and he'd been happy with it.
This was too much, he told Gloria off stealing a
man's penguin. He opened the door into the living room
and bumped into Lucy Allison. Don't you think you've been
(09:48):
in there long enough? Bill, she asked acridly. I'm sure
your guests would appreciate catching a glimpse of you. Why hullo, Lucy,
he said, surprised. I didn't know, Gloria, I had invited you. Gloria, Gloria, Gloria,
Lucy cut off his sentence. You've been talking about nothing
but that dumb little blonde for months because of the
(10:10):
people in the room beyond. Her voice was pitched low,
but her pale eyes glittered unpleasantly behind her spectacles. I
wish you had married her. You'd have made a fine pair.
Gently caressingly, the short hairs on the back of Bill's
neck rose. Come back in here, Lucy said, hauling him
(10:30):
back into the living room, where a number of people
who had been enjoying the domestic fracas suddenly broke into
loud and animated chatter. Doctor Hildebrand was telling us all
about nuclear fission. Can't find an ashtray, Bill muttered, seizing
on something tangible. Can't find an ashtray in the whole
darn place. We've been over this millions of times, Bill,
(10:54):
you know. She smiled at the guests, a smile that
carefully excluded Bill. I'm alert to smoke, but I never
can get my husband to remember he isn't to smoke
inside the house. Now take the neutron, for example, Doctor
Hildebrand said, through a mouthful of petie. What is the neutron?
Is only? What was that? The wraith of Gloria crossed
(11:20):
the foyer and disappeared. Bill took a step forward, then
stood still. Lucy smiled self consciously. That's nothing at all.
The house is merely haunted. Everyone laughed. Forgot something, Bill
muttered and dashed back into the study. He yanked open
the bottom door of the desk. Sure enough, there was
(11:42):
a bottle of Shenley, nearly a third full. There are
some advantages, he thought, as he tilted it to his
lips in having a limited imagination end of the doorway
by Evelyn, Eastmouth
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