Seeking Catharsis: A Real Victim's Chronicles of Covert Narcissist Abuse

Seeking Catharsis: A Real Victim's Chronicles of Covert Narcissist Abuse

Everyone is talking about the rise of narcissism and narcissist abuse but there is still very little information available about covert passive-aggressive narcissistic abuse and the neglectful narcissist. I am currently experiencing this abuse and I am suffering in silence. I started this podcast to document my experiences and raise awareness. My partner is well-liked, successful, and does not show his abusive side to most people in his life. As his intimate partner, I receive the brunt of his abuse and neglect. Narcissistic abuse is isolating and hard to understand, especially if one has not experienced it. Sharing my story is cathartic. My hope is that this helps increase understanding of how this abuse shows up in real life. Thank you for listening.

Episodes

May 14, 2022 38 mins
I’m this episode, I cover how I keep myself emotionally and physically safe while continuing to work with my abuser.
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My spouse invites me out to celebrate our anniversary with a dinner. It was anything but happy.
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After years of wishful thinking, my husband finally made it clear to me that he never intends to change his harmful behavior towards me. I pulled the plug on therapy just one week before our second anniversary, deciding instead to focus on my continued recovery and accepting there would be no happy ending for me in our situation.
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Admitting the presence of abuse is scary.
When I finally worked up the courage to tell someone outside of my personal circle about what I am experiencing, I felt a sense of relief.
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November 25, 2021 13 mins
Sometimes, the holidays can make us nostalgic. This year I am spending Thanksgiving alone for the second time in a row. While being alone can sometimes lead to feelings of loneliness, I’ve found that there is safety in solitude.
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October 25, 2021 30 mins
Couple’s therapy is often not recommended when abuse is present in a relationship. I’m this episode, I discuss why I decided to try it one last time.
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October 10, 2021 33 mins
In this episode I discuss some examples of double standards in my relationship and how it makes life more challenging.
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September 28, 2021 42 mins
Financial abuse is one of the least discussed elements of intimate partner abuse. For me, it is one of the core reasons I have been unable to leave the relationship. In this episode, I provide one example of how money is used to control and shame me.
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September 15, 2021 30 mins
Spending a month with a loving couple reminded me of what was possible. It provided the support and reinforcement I needed to prepare for my return to the city where my emotionally negligent husband lives. I noticed key behavioral changes in my partner that was a foreshadowing of the chaos to come.
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August 29, 2021 24 mins
In this episode, I break down how I feel inside. I express in detail how my experiences have
affected my self-esteem, my hopes and dreams, and caused me to question if I will ever experience happiness or joy again.
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August 15, 2021 34 mins
After a year of nearly living in complete isolation away from everything I knew,
I reflect on the past year of abuse, neglect, manipulation, as I struggled to
regain my independence and find a pathway out of the chaos I had found myself in during
a global pandemic.
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August 7, 2021 28 mins
In this episode I discuss how my spouse slowly
pushed my boundaries. Prior to his betrayal, I had strong feelings about cheating and reconciliation. Suddenly, I found myself agreeing to a situation I would have never imagined with him.
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In this episode, I describe how it feels living with a covert passive-aggressive person with narcissistic tendencies.
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In this episode, I detail how emotional abuse manifests itself in my day-to-day life with my partner. I describe how my partner uses intermittent reinforcement and its effects on my psyche.
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June 24, 2021 30 mins
After finding the strength to break away, my husband finally makes concessions that make me hopeful about the prospect of potentially repairing our relationship.
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Research and curiosity led me to realize I was married to a someone incapable of feeling empathy for me or providing true intimacy. I start setting boundaries to protect my sanity.
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I reflect on the time when less than three hours after confessing to adultery, my partner accuses me of having blinders on for not reading into his passive-aggressive behavior in the years leading up to our marriage.
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In the episode, I look back at some of the accusations my husband had made, accusing me of pressuring him and rushing into our marriage. Although the facts did not match the accusations. I spent months defending myself to him, while he avoided taking the blame for his years of active deception, affairs, and emotional neglect. It was the ultimate deflection.
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For the first time since we met, my husband starts to reveal how he feels about our relationship and intimacy with his romantic partners. He called our relationship traumatic, blamed our relationship for some of his biggest mistakes, and insinuated that life with me was the root cause of his unhappiness. His “brutal honesty” became a tool to pathologize me as I navigated through the shock and disappointment of what I was hearing.
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Coming to terms with the reality that I am a victim of abuse by someone, who at one time, I believed was the kindest person I had ever loved. This episode discusses the challenges and isolation of having to suffer in silence because speaking my truth is inconvenient.
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