S2E5: How to Stop Self-Sabotaging and Start Winning for Real

Ready to get out of your own way? In this episode of Self Elevated, we’re calling out the habits, thoughts, and hidden fears that keep us stuck—and we’re flipping the script.

We’re unpacking:
✅ What self-sabotage really looks like
✅ Why you might be afraid of success without even realizing it
✅ How to stop overthinking and start moving
✅ 5 actionable steps to break the cycle and start winning for real

This one is a mindset reset, motivation boost, and personal breakthrough all in one. Let’s cut the self-doubt and step into the version of you that actually does the thing.

📩 Got questions or want to be a guest? Hit me up at [e-mail]
👑 Connect: @msjessofficial & @jmpempires

#SelfElevated #StopSelfSabotage #MindsetMatters #ConfidenceCoach #LevelUpSeason


Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/self-elevated-the-podcast--4506254/support.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:03):
Podcast. Your hosts Jessica, just Cash Parker. The game starts
with ourselves, learning versions our lives. Your only limit is you. Hey, hey, hey,

(00:24):
Welcome back to another episode of Self Elevated, where we're
all about leveling up mind, body, spirit, business, and bank account.
I'm your host, Miss jess In today's episode, listen, it's
a whole reality check, okay, but in the best way,
I promise. So we're talking about self sabotaged today, that

(00:48):
sneaky little habit of getting in your own damn way.
And you know, when you say you want to win, grow, elevate,
but your actions say otherwise. This one's personal raw, and
it's gonna be packed with truth and tools, all right.
So if you're ready to stop playing yourself and start

(01:08):
showing up for your future, let's get into it, all right.
So we're gonna start here, okay. Self sabotage isn't always obvious,
all right. It's not just blowing off work or procrastinating
on your goals. Sometimes, yes, sometimes it's dressed up as perfectionism, overthinking,

(01:32):
or even self doubt. That sounds like logic, all right.
Here are some common forms of self sabotage. Constant constant
procrastination even when you know better. Or how about talking
yourself out of big moves like I'm not ready or
what if I fail? All right, saying yes the things

(01:55):
that drain you and know to things that are gonna
help you grow, all right? Being busy but never productive?
All right? Does that ring a bell with some of you?
How about getting close to a breakthrough but then backing
off or just creating chaos for yourself unnecessarily. Does any

(02:17):
of this sound familiar for you? Because I've been there,
all right? And let me tell you self, sabotaged thrives
in comfort zones, literally thrives. Okay, it's your mind trying
to protect you from the discomfort, from rejection or from change.
But what it really does, it's blocking your elevation, all right.

(02:40):
And obviously here on self elevated, we're all about pushing
past through everything big or small or otherwise that is
trying to block us from growing and being our best selves,
all right, because there's always room for growth, all right.
So why do we do this to ourselves? Why will

(03:03):
we get in the way of what we say that
we want for ourselves? All right? I see it all
the time, people say that they want nicer cars or
bigger house, or they want more money, or you know,
they want a good relationship, right, but they're not acting
in ways or doing the things that would help them

(03:26):
achieve those goals. All right, So here's some top reasons
that like probably lead into self sabotage to begin with.
All right, the first reason is straight up fear, okay,
fear of success more specifically, like what if I actually

(03:47):
get it and can't handle it? You know, sometimes fear
is what holds us back because you know, it's out
of our comfort zone, it's out of what we're used
to the thought of that, you know doesn't resonate with
us because we may have not experienced a certain level
of success yet. So we might self sabotage ourselves because

(04:11):
we might be unsure if we can even handle it,
or if we deserve it, or et cetera. Right, we
scare ourselves out of things sometimes, or like fear of failure,
what if I try and fall flat? All right? Unworthiness
because deep down you don't even believe that you deserve
it in the first place. Okay, this is something that

(04:35):
I feel like has kept me out of a lot
of rooms in my life. You know that I could
have stepped into but I was fearful that maybe I
didn't belong in those rooms because of where I'm from
and what my childhood experience was like. And you know
what I'm used to, right, And if I could go

(04:56):
back and just put that fear to the side and
just step into those rooms anyway, I probably would be
a lot farther off along in life than what I
am now had I not let fear stop me. But
you know, I've come to that realization now, and which
is why now I ain't letting fear stop shit, all right,

(05:18):
Because I know I'm worthy, And it doesn't matter what
I've been through. It doesn't matter where I come from.
It doesn't matter the experiences I've had in my childhood,
or the struggles and the traumas, or even the addictions
that I've had to overcome in my life. None of
that takes away from the fact that I deserve as
much set as success and happiness that I'm willing to

(05:42):
go after. And and that's it, period, point blank, all right.
Another one is comfort addiction. Right, we stay where it's
familiar even when it's not fulfilling. Right, just like how
I was just saying a minute ago, right, and that
speaks to a lot to where I am in my

(06:04):
career path right now. Right, Like for a while, I've
been wanting to change and wanting to elevate and wanting
to grow out of the entertainment business. Right, But it
was something that I've always known and something that I mean,
fortunately slash unfortunately. I was able to at least succeed
at in a certain way enough to get along and

(06:27):
you know, to be able to take care of my
family and do what I needed to do, right, but
it wasn't fulfilling for me anymore. And I got to
the point where now, although it's scary to jump into
a essentially a whole new career path, but I have
to do it because what I was doing in my

(06:50):
twenties and in my thirties is no longer serving me
or fulfilling me, or bringing me enough monetary value that
I feel is worth the effort that I've put into it. Right,
So you know, it's time for me to move on.
And although it's scary, I'm still doing it because I'm
not gonna let fear stop me this time. I know

(07:12):
I deserve more and I know I can get it.
Because I have a lot to give and a lot
to offer, and I've learned a lot in my forty
years on this earth, you know, and if I could
help some other person or even other people maybe not
take so long to figure it out and make just

(07:32):
a couple less mistakes than what I did, It'll all
be worth it, right, So you know, you gotta break
free out of those comfort zones, you know, and because
that truly is an addiction of its zone. Right. And
the last one here that I want to talk about
is limiting beliefs, old programming that says success isn't for

(07:57):
people like me, right, just like I said spoke on
a second ago. You know, because where I come from
and how I grew up in my environment and my
family and just the experiences I've had in my childhood
and that molded me and shaped me, et cetera. You know,
I've been programmed essentially to think that a certain level

(08:19):
of success wasn't for somebody like me, you know. And
it took a lot of breaking out of that and
a lot of positive self talk to get over that.
And you know, I honestly I still fight that limiting
belief even to this day. But I just I refuse
to let it win, you know, and it may not
ever go away, that nagging thought that's like you know who,

(08:42):
like who do you think you are? You don't deserve this,
like just whatever, you know. But I'm gonna always push
past it and I'm not gonna stop until I attain
the level of success and be in the spaces that
I want to be in and that I know I
deserve to be in. Right. So I mean, with that said,

(09:04):
self sabotage is usually really it's like a symptom of
something that's deeper, right, and the mindset, the trauma, the
inner narrative that keeps whispering, you know, to play small right,
and we don't always recognize it, but it runs the
show if we don't call it out and if we
don't look at dead in the face and be hyper

(09:26):
aware of those moments in those times and push through it,
you know, because we're not gonna let that shit win.
We're not. Period. So now that we've talked about some
of those signs and you know, reasons that we do this,

(09:49):
now I want to talk about some ways like that
we can how to stop it, right? How do we
stop self sabotaging ourself. All right. So we're gonna get
to the good, which is what do we do to
stop getting in our own way and start stepping into

(10:09):
our power? What are the steps? Okay? So get out
a pen. I want you guys to write this down,
all right. Step one, you need to call yourself the
freak out all right, with love. Now do it with love, okay,
no judgment and respectfully, but call yourself out, all right.
Start noticing the patterns, what excuses keep popping up for you?

(10:33):
And where are you playing small? Now? Don't judge it, okay,
just name it and be be one hundred percent honest
and open and candid with yourself, even if like a
part of you wants to lie on that piece of paper, okay,
but you know what it is, okay, and nobody else

(10:56):
has to see this paper. But you so, I mean,
are you willing to be honest with yourself? Because if
you're not, then maybe we need to back up a
few episodes. But if so, call yourself out and don't
be afraid to do it. Okay, this is how we grow,
all right. Step two, rewrite the story all right? What's

(11:19):
the belief that is holding you back? Whatever that belief is,
flip it. If the old thought is I'm not ready,
then replace it with I'm ready enough to start. Okay,
and keep telling yourself that every time you think the
negative opposite, all right, Always flip it around, always, because

(11:42):
there's always always a way to find the silver lining
or the positive in any negative. It it ain't and
it ain't always easy to do that, I know. Okay,
it's not always easy, but I promise there's always something there,
even if you got to pull yourself back and look
get it from a bigger picture sometimes. All right, but

(12:04):
rewrite the story. Don't just let the negative slide, okay,
all right. Step three, take imperfect action, because you know
what perfectionism is a trap? Okay, start before you feel
one hundred percent ready. All right. Clarity is gonna come
from movement and from doing and from putting in action. Okay.

(12:28):
And again, this is something else that I've struggled with.
I've always, you know, wanted to have everything just right
before I start driving traffic and eyeballs onto whether it
was my music or Okay, for example, using my music
as an example out of all of the video content

(12:50):
I've done in my life, I really only have one
legitimate music video because I've always wanted my music videos
to be of a certain level of quality, a certain
level of professional visuals, right, so much so that I've
kept myself from recording a lot of them because for

(13:10):
a long time, I didn't have the budget to hire
the camera people that were doing super dope and super professional,
next level style videos, right. And so that's on me
because I've could have been farther, and my music even
could have went farther had I put out more visuals,

(13:32):
but I was I was trying to wait till I
could do it in a perfectionist level, and you know,
it just it didn't happen the way I wanted it to.
And now that I have the ability to, I'm way
out the way in the Middlewest, and I don't really
even know any video people out here. So now that

(13:54):
I might have the means to do it, I don't
have the resources to the people like I had to
start flying in from back home in Florida and stuff,
and I'm really just not doing all that. And quite honestly,
I've kind of moved past that for the most part,
so you know, moving on, but still we don't want
to wait around to have everything just right. Okay, Sometimes

(14:16):
you just need to take action and push through, all right,
and work out the kinks along the way, all right.
So the next step is step four, and which is
create accountability. Okay, you need to tell somebody else your goal.
Tell a couple people even, all right, Get a coach,
a friend, a journal, an alarm clock on your phone,

(14:39):
three of them. Okay, whatever is gonna help keep you
honest and consistent and accountable for showing up to do
the things that you said you wanted to accomplish. All right.
It's a super big one. So create that accountability, all right.
And the last step here is step five, which is

(15:00):
reward progress, not just outcomes, all right. So that basically
means like, celebrate the effort and not just the wins. Okay,
Because say, for example, you're building an e commerce website, right,
don't just wait until you get it all done and

(15:22):
you've promoted and now you're making your first sale, and
now you're finally going to celebrate that you have major
first sale in your e commerce business. Okay, celebrate after
I don't know, you've get you got all the website done, right,
and just before you're ready to launch and because that
takes a lot of work, it takes a lot of effort, right,

(15:42):
and you put that time in, you put that effort in, right,
and it's gonna be effort that you did that's gonna
help you be able to eventually make those sales that
you want to celebrate as well, right, So celebrate your
effort along the way. It's gonna help you create moments
and it's going to help give you confidence. All right.

(16:04):
Remember you're not lazy, unmotivated, or broken, all right, You're
just conditioned. And the beautiful part about that is that
you can re condition your mind for success, all right.
You can redo those patterns in your brain. You just
have to be mentally and you know, super hyper aware

(16:29):
of when those conditioning level type thoughts try to seep
into your mind and immediately attack them with the opposite
and you know, the positivity and the optimism and the confidence,
et cetera. Right, so you can recondition your mind. Who

(16:50):
so listen, if that hit you in the chest a
little bit, then good, all right, because for me just
going through with y'all, it definitely hit me, and that
means that it's time to make a shift. It's time
to stop playing small and start showing up like the
version of you that already has what you want. All right,

(17:12):
So if this episode spoke to you, I want you
to tag me on Instagram at misj just Official or
JMP Empires and tell me what part hit you the hardest.
All right. If you got questions that you want me
to answer in future episodes, or you want to be
a guest on the show, then shoot me an email
at Iradio at JMP empires dot com because I would

(17:35):
definitely love to hear from you, all right. And next
week we're gonna be talking about something really important, which
is building self trust, okay, and why it's the foundation
for success consistently, consistency and confidence. All right. If you've
ever felt like you can't count on you to follow through,

(17:56):
then this episode is gonna be a game changer. All right. Bam,
that's it for today. Until next time. Remember your only
limit is you