April 15, 2025 • 13 mins
Self-love without accountability? That’s not growth—it’s avoidance.
In this episode of Self Elevated, we’re diving deep into why self-love without structure, consistency, and discipline isn’t just incomplete—it’s useless.
You’ll learn:
✅️ Why real self-love means showing up even when it’s uncomfortable
✅️ How to blend grace with grit
️✅ What self-discipline actually looks like in your daily life
️✅ Journal prompts + affirmations to help you lock it in
This episode is the reminder that you can love yourself and hold yourself accountable. And when you do? That’s where true elevation starts.
📩 Questions or want to be a guest? Email iradio@jmpempires.com
👑 Connect with me: @msjessofficial
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/self-elevated-the-podcast--4506254/support.
In this episode of Self Elevated, we’re diving deep into why self-love without structure, consistency, and discipline isn’t just incomplete—it’s useless.
You’ll learn:
✅️ Why real self-love means showing up even when it’s uncomfortable
✅️ How to blend grace with grit
️✅ What self-discipline actually looks like in your daily life
️✅ Journal prompts + affirmations to help you lock it in
This episode is the reminder that you can love yourself and hold yourself accountable. And when you do? That’s where true elevation starts.
📩 Questions or want to be a guest? Email iradio@jmpempires.com
👑 Connect with me: @msjessofficial
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/self-elevated-the-podcast--4506254/support.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Well, a self Elevated podcast, your host.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
And artist Jessica just Cash Parker.
Speaker 1 (00:10):
The game.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
Starts with ourselves, and by learning versions, we can change
our lives. Your only limit is you.
Speaker 1 (00:22):
Hey, hey, hey, welcome back to Self Elevated, the podcast
where we elevate our mind, body, spirit, business, and them
bank accounts. Okay, I'm your host, miss jess In. Today's
episode is a truth bomb with love on top.
Speaker 2 (00:37):
Because self love without self.
Speaker 1 (00:39):
Discipline isn't just incomplete, it's useless. Yeah, I said it, Okay,
Because while we love a good self care moment, a
self life in a bubble bath, if you're not holding
yourself accountable, staying consistent, and doing the uncomfortable things that
lead to growth, that's not self love, okay, that's self sabotage.
Speaker 2 (00:59):
And a pretty your outfit.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
All right, we just gonna call it what it is, right,
because real self love includes structure, It includes boundaries, focus,
and follow through. So if you're only showing up for
your self love when it's convenient and never when it counts, girl,
that love isn't elevating you, it's enabling you, all right,
And today we're gonna flip that script, all right, what's
(01:24):
the misconception about self love? Because lord hmmm, we know
that the Internet has turned our minds loose on the
miss on a lot of things and what they mean
and what things really are what they aint, Okay, so
we gotta keep it real because we know self social
(01:46):
media itself single handedly has turned self love into a
hol aesthetic.
Speaker 2 (01:51):
All right.
Speaker 1 (01:52):
And while I'm all for that cozy nighting doing face
masks and unplugging from noise, all right, I do it
quite off, all right. But that's not the full story,
all right. True self love is doing what's best for
you even when it's uncomfortable, all right. So some examples
of that would be like saying no to distractions even
(02:15):
when they're tempting, all right, or sticking to your budget
when emotional spending be calling your name, all right, it
be calling my name, and I just you know what
I say to myself, I'd be like.
Speaker 2 (02:26):
You don't need it, Just you don't need it, Just
keep walking. Literally, I say it out loud, I say
it in my head. You don't need it, You don't
need it, all right.
Speaker 1 (02:35):
So another example would be like going to the gym
or showing up for your business even when you're tired,
all right, or for like me, even when I'm a
little hurting because my bag be killing me, all right,
and I still gotta get up and do what I
gotta do, all right, like making hard choices that are
(02:56):
gonna help you grow, all right, and something like getting
my ass up even though I'm hurting, And it would
be a lot easier and more comfortable to just sit
around watch my rage tree TV, eat me some chips.
Speaker 2 (03:10):
And maybe buy something on Amazon.
Speaker 1 (03:14):
And just sit around and not do what I said
I was gonna do because I'm hurting it and I'm
in pain, and lord, it's a good excuse, but no, Okay,
the hard choice is just getting through it, bearing through it,
making it work, and doing what I gotta do.
Speaker 2 (03:27):
Point blank period.
Speaker 1 (03:28):
Because not only am I an entrepreneur, I'm also a mom,
and y'all know how that go, all right, And love
isn't always soft, okay, neither of self love.
Speaker 2 (03:40):
So sometimes self love.
Speaker 1 (03:41):
Is saying, get your ass up and let's get to it,
all right, look in yourself, dead in the mirror, riding
your two eyeballs and saying stop playing. Okay, we ain't
got time to play. Get up, off your ass and
make it happen, all right.
Speaker 2 (03:58):
You gotta be real.
Speaker 1 (03:59):
With yourself, and you gotta be willing to hold yourself
accountable and call yourself to the carpet, all right. That's
also what self love is about.
Speaker 2 (04:08):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (04:08):
There's power in there's power in that. There's so much
power in that, okay, because we need to talk about
the other side of this, which is discipline, and not
only discipline itself, but self discipline all right. And now
that word alone, honestly, it makes people scared, tense up
and get all nervous, all right.
Speaker 2 (04:31):
But discipline is not.
Speaker 1 (04:32):
About punishing yourself, or at least it don't have to be, okay,
because it's really it's it's about protecting your vision, you know,
protecting your goals and protecting your dreams and your aspirations. Right,
that's what it's really about, you know, So start looking
at it a little differently. You know, discipline is actually
self respect and action. You know. Discipline builds confidence by
(04:57):
proving that you're dependable to you, all right, and it
keeps you moving when motivation is just not there, right,
because that happens.
Speaker 2 (05:07):
To the best of us, Okay, it's from the.
Speaker 1 (05:10):
Greatest motivators of all time to anyone else.
Speaker 2 (05:15):
Alive, okay.
Speaker 1 (05:16):
We all have our motivation fade in and out at times, okay,
because life be lifing, and that's just what to do,
all right, which is why self discipline helps you get
through those times and see you through back to where
you find your motivation again. Because every time that you
say you're gonna do something and you actually do it,
(05:40):
that's you showing up for the version of yourself that
you're becoming, and that you choosing elevation over excuses, all right,
Like getting up early to make space for your dreams, okay,
or practicing restraint with distractions and bad habits okay, creating
(06:01):
a routine that's gonna support your goals and not just
your comfort okay, and saying stuff like I'm gonna do
it anyway when the old you would have just quit
and been like, nah, I'm over it, all right, because
discipline is a it's not about being robotic, okay, It's
about being intentional, all right. And I'll give you a
(06:24):
little a little like pro tip, right, a good way
to kind of turn your distractions in bad habits into rewards.
Speaker 2 (06:35):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (06:36):
Then you can kind of do what we said in
this list, where you create a routine that's gonna support
your goals and not just your comfort, but it also
don't leave your comfort out right. So for me, say,
eating a bag of chips and watching some ratchetry TV,
(06:58):
those are my bad habits and my distractions. Right, So
I could tell myself that I won't eat a bag
of chips or watch any ragetary TV until I get X, Y,
and Z done towards my business and my goals, my
whatever my must dos and things are for that day
or that week, etc. Right, I will turn my bad
(07:21):
habits and my distractions into rewards that way, even though
I might still be making a bad habit one for
indulging in a distraction every now and then, at least
it is now because I've allowed my like I'm rewarding
it to myself. Okay, So just kind of flip that
(07:42):
mentality around a little bit and it can you can
make it work for you, all right? So from there, like,
how do we balance the soft right and the structure together, right,
the healing in the hustle. Here's how you stop choosing one,
(08:03):
okay and start honoring both.
Speaker 2 (08:06):
All right, Here, I'm gonna give.
Speaker 1 (08:07):
You some tips to blend self love and self discipline
moving forward. All right, you gotta give yourself grace, all right,
but listen.
Speaker 2 (08:16):
Don't confuse that, all right.
Speaker 1 (08:18):
Don't go using that as an excuse to keep letting
yourself slide constantly, all right.
Speaker 2 (08:23):
Don't be out here.
Speaker 1 (08:24):
Like oh miss Jess said, I gotta give myself grace
on the constant.
Speaker 2 (08:28):
All right.
Speaker 1 (08:29):
We gotta hold ourselves accountable and call ourselves to the carpet,
just like I said before. But you are allowed to
have grace because you know we're not gonna always be
at our best. Sometimes we are gonna be overworked and overwhelmed. Right,
But don't allow that grace to become an excuse to
slide right now, that's not what we're doing here, all right.
(08:51):
Another good way is to make your rest intentional.
Speaker 2 (08:54):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (08:54):
Don't avoid it and act like just because you need
to rest that you somehow slacken.
Speaker 2 (09:01):
Okay, that.
Speaker 1 (09:04):
Is some bad wiring that somehow got into our brains
along the way in the hustle culture. Right, because you
need to rest, so make it intentional. It should be
important in a priority day to day, just like all
your other goals are. Okay, and Another good way to
(09:24):
blend your self love and self discipline is let your
love for yourself guide you into action and not away
from it, all right, because the best version of you
doesn't just talk.
Speaker 2 (09:37):
About it, all right. She followed through, all right.
Speaker 1 (09:40):
She knows when to say I need a break, and
she knows when to say I'm ready to get back
in the game. And that is what alignment looks like.
So all right, let's take this a little deeper. If
you've got a journal, I want you to get out
a pen, or if you just have like a note
(10:01):
tap on your phone, open it up, because I'm going
to give you some questions that i want you to
reflect on later today and throughout the week, all right.
The first one is where am I showing my self
comfort but not commitment?
Speaker 2 (10:17):
All right?
Speaker 1 (10:18):
Question two? What's one area where more structure could support
my growth? And the last question is how can I
hold myself accountable this week without being harsh?
Speaker 2 (10:33):
Now I want you.
Speaker 1 (10:33):
To let the answers come up honestly, no filters, no judgment, okay,
just truth. Remember these are just for you, all right. Now,
let's go ahead and move into some affirmations so we
can speak some power into your spirit for the day.
Speaker 2 (10:52):
And for the week ahead, all right.
Speaker 1 (10:54):
So you can repeat after me, and you can also
write these down and keep them close. You can repeat
them throughout the week as well, all right. I love
myself enough to stay consistent. My discipline is a form
(11:15):
of self respect. I don't run from discomfort. I grow
through it. I balance grace with grit. I'm not perfect,
(11:39):
but I am committed. Now, I want you to say
these every single day, okay, three times a day. You
can pick one per day or do them all each day, whatever.
Speaker 2 (11:52):
Feels right for you.
Speaker 1 (11:53):
But we want to repeat it because repetition is key,
all right. We want to let it rewire your energy,
all right. So if this episode hit y'all, please tag
me on Instagram at misj just official, at JMP Empires,
or at Missjess ceo and let me know what resonated,
(12:14):
all right. Also, please share it with someone that you
know who's ready to take their self love to a
deeper level.
Speaker 2 (12:21):
All right. And if you got.
Speaker 1 (12:22):
Questions for future episodes or you want to be a
guest on the show, you can hit me up at
Iradio at jmpmpires dot com because you know I would
love to hear from you, all right, And next week
we're talking about something so necessary. It's releasing guilt around
slowing down because, like I said earlier, hustle culture lied
(12:43):
to us, okay, and it's time to break free from
that idea that rest equals laziness or failure. All right,
So get ready for that shift, and until next time,
keep showing up, keep choosing growth, and keep loving yourself
through the work because remember, your only limit is you
Well, a self Elevated podcast, your host.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
And artist Jessica just Cash Parker.
Speaker 1 (00:10):
The game.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
Starts with ourselves, and by learning versions, we can change
our lives. Your only limit is you.
Speaker 1 (00:22):
Hey, hey, hey, welcome back to Self Elevated, the podcast
where we elevate our mind, body, spirit, business, and them
bank accounts. Okay, I'm your host, miss jess In. Today's
episode is a truth bomb with love on top.
Speaker 2 (00:37):
Because self love without self.
Speaker 1 (00:39):
Discipline isn't just incomplete, it's useless. Yeah, I said it, Okay,
Because while we love a good self care moment, a
self life in a bubble bath, if you're not holding
yourself accountable, staying consistent, and doing the uncomfortable things that
lead to growth, that's not self love, okay, that's self sabotage.
Speaker 2 (00:59):
And a pretty your outfit.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
All right, we just gonna call it what it is, right,
because real self love includes structure, It includes boundaries, focus,
and follow through. So if you're only showing up for
your self love when it's convenient and never when it counts, girl,
that love isn't elevating you, it's enabling you, all right,
And today we're gonna flip that script, all right, what's
(01:24):
the misconception about self love? Because lord hmmm, we know
that the Internet has turned our minds loose on the
miss on a lot of things and what they mean
and what things really are what they aint, Okay, so
we gotta keep it real because we know self social
(01:46):
media itself single handedly has turned self love into a
hol aesthetic.
Speaker 2 (01:51):
All right.
Speaker 1 (01:52):
And while I'm all for that cozy nighting doing face
masks and unplugging from noise, all right, I do it
quite off, all right. But that's not the full story,
all right. True self love is doing what's best for
you even when it's uncomfortable, all right. So some examples
of that would be like saying no to distractions even
(02:15):
when they're tempting, all right, or sticking to your budget
when emotional spending be calling your name, all right, it
be calling my name, and I just you know what
I say to myself, I'd be like.
Speaker 2 (02:26):
You don't need it, Just you don't need it, Just
keep walking. Literally, I say it out loud, I say
it in my head. You don't need it, You don't
need it, all right.
Speaker 1 (02:35):
So another example would be like going to the gym
or showing up for your business even when you're tired,
all right, or for like me, even when I'm a
little hurting because my bag be killing me, all right,
and I still gotta get up and do what I
gotta do, all right, like making hard choices that are
(02:56):
gonna help you grow, all right, and something like getting
my ass up even though I'm hurting, And it would
be a lot easier and more comfortable to just sit
around watch my rage tree TV, eat me some chips.
Speaker 2 (03:10):
And maybe buy something on Amazon.
Speaker 1 (03:14):
And just sit around and not do what I said
I was gonna do because I'm hurting it and I'm
in pain, and lord, it's a good excuse, but no, Okay,
the hard choice is just getting through it, bearing through it,
making it work, and doing what I gotta do.
Speaker 2 (03:27):
Point blank period.
Speaker 1 (03:28):
Because not only am I an entrepreneur, I'm also a mom,
and y'all know how that go, all right, And love
isn't always soft, okay, neither of self love.
Speaker 2 (03:40):
So sometimes self love.
Speaker 1 (03:41):
Is saying, get your ass up and let's get to it,
all right, look in yourself, dead in the mirror, riding
your two eyeballs and saying stop playing. Okay, we ain't
got time to play. Get up, off your ass and
make it happen, all right.
Speaker 2 (03:58):
You gotta be real.
Speaker 1 (03:59):
With yourself, and you gotta be willing to hold yourself
accountable and call yourself to the carpet, all right. That's
also what self love is about.
Speaker 2 (04:08):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (04:08):
There's power in there's power in that. There's so much
power in that, okay, because we need to talk about
the other side of this, which is discipline, and not
only discipline itself, but self discipline all right. And now
that word alone, honestly, it makes people scared, tense up
and get all nervous, all right.
Speaker 2 (04:31):
But discipline is not.
Speaker 1 (04:32):
About punishing yourself, or at least it don't have to be, okay,
because it's really it's it's about protecting your vision, you know,
protecting your goals and protecting your dreams and your aspirations. Right,
that's what it's really about, you know, So start looking
at it a little differently. You know, discipline is actually
self respect and action. You know. Discipline builds confidence by
(04:57):
proving that you're dependable to you, all right, and it
keeps you moving when motivation is just not there, right,
because that happens.
Speaker 2 (05:07):
To the best of us, Okay, it's from the.
Speaker 1 (05:10):
Greatest motivators of all time to anyone else.
Speaker 2 (05:15):
Alive, okay.
Speaker 1 (05:16):
We all have our motivation fade in and out at times, okay,
because life be lifing, and that's just what to do,
all right, which is why self discipline helps you get
through those times and see you through back to where
you find your motivation again. Because every time that you
say you're gonna do something and you actually do it,
(05:40):
that's you showing up for the version of yourself that
you're becoming, and that you choosing elevation over excuses, all right,
Like getting up early to make space for your dreams, okay,
or practicing restraint with distractions and bad habits okay, creating
(06:01):
a routine that's gonna support your goals and not just
your comfort okay, and saying stuff like I'm gonna do
it anyway when the old you would have just quit
and been like, nah, I'm over it, all right, because
discipline is a it's not about being robotic, okay, It's
about being intentional, all right. And I'll give you a
(06:24):
little a little like pro tip, right, a good way
to kind of turn your distractions in bad habits into rewards.
Speaker 2 (06:35):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (06:36):
Then you can kind of do what we said in
this list, where you create a routine that's gonna support
your goals and not just your comfort, but it also
don't leave your comfort out right. So for me, say,
eating a bag of chips and watching some ratchetry TV,
(06:58):
those are my bad habits and my distractions. Right, So
I could tell myself that I won't eat a bag
of chips or watch any ragetary TV until I get X, Y,
and Z done towards my business and my goals, my
whatever my must dos and things are for that day
or that week, etc. Right, I will turn my bad
(07:21):
habits and my distractions into rewards that way, even though
I might still be making a bad habit one for
indulging in a distraction every now and then, at least
it is now because I've allowed my like I'm rewarding
it to myself. Okay, So just kind of flip that
(07:42):
mentality around a little bit and it can you can
make it work for you, all right? So from there, like,
how do we balance the soft right and the structure together, right,
the healing in the hustle. Here's how you stop choosing one,
(08:03):
okay and start honoring both.
Speaker 2 (08:06):
All right, Here, I'm gonna give.
Speaker 1 (08:07):
You some tips to blend self love and self discipline
moving forward. All right, you gotta give yourself grace, all right,
but listen.
Speaker 2 (08:16):
Don't confuse that, all right.
Speaker 1 (08:18):
Don't go using that as an excuse to keep letting
yourself slide constantly, all right.
Speaker 2 (08:23):
Don't be out here.
Speaker 1 (08:24):
Like oh miss Jess said, I gotta give myself grace
on the constant.
Speaker 2 (08:28):
All right.
Speaker 1 (08:29):
We gotta hold ourselves accountable and call ourselves to the carpet,
just like I said before. But you are allowed to
have grace because you know we're not gonna always be
at our best. Sometimes we are gonna be overworked and overwhelmed. Right,
But don't allow that grace to become an excuse to
slide right now, that's not what we're doing here, all right.
(08:51):
Another good way is to make your rest intentional.
Speaker 2 (08:54):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (08:54):
Don't avoid it and act like just because you need
to rest that you somehow slacken.
Speaker 2 (09:01):
Okay, that.
Speaker 1 (09:04):
Is some bad wiring that somehow got into our brains
along the way in the hustle culture. Right, because you
need to rest, so make it intentional. It should be
important in a priority day to day, just like all
your other goals are. Okay, and Another good way to
(09:24):
blend your self love and self discipline is let your
love for yourself guide you into action and not away
from it, all right, because the best version of you
doesn't just talk.
Speaker 2 (09:37):
About it, all right. She followed through, all right.
Speaker 1 (09:40):
She knows when to say I need a break, and
she knows when to say I'm ready to get back
in the game. And that is what alignment looks like.
So all right, let's take this a little deeper. If
you've got a journal, I want you to get out
a pen, or if you just have like a note
(10:01):
tap on your phone, open it up, because I'm going
to give you some questions that i want you to
reflect on later today and throughout the week, all right.
The first one is where am I showing my self
comfort but not commitment?
Speaker 2 (10:17):
All right?
Speaker 1 (10:18):
Question two? What's one area where more structure could support
my growth? And the last question is how can I
hold myself accountable this week without being harsh?
Speaker 2 (10:33):
Now I want you.
Speaker 1 (10:33):
To let the answers come up honestly, no filters, no judgment, okay,
just truth. Remember these are just for you, all right. Now,
let's go ahead and move into some affirmations so we
can speak some power into your spirit for the day.
Speaker 2 (10:52):
And for the week ahead, all right.
Speaker 1 (10:54):
So you can repeat after me, and you can also
write these down and keep them close. You can repeat
them throughout the week as well, all right. I love
myself enough to stay consistent. My discipline is a form
(11:15):
of self respect. I don't run from discomfort. I grow
through it. I balance grace with grit. I'm not perfect,
(11:39):
but I am committed. Now, I want you to say
these every single day, okay, three times a day. You
can pick one per day or do them all each day, whatever.
Speaker 2 (11:52):
Feels right for you.
Speaker 1 (11:53):
But we want to repeat it because repetition is key,
all right. We want to let it rewire your energy,
all right. So if this episode hit y'all, please tag
me on Instagram at misj just official, at JMP Empires,
or at Missjess ceo and let me know what resonated,
(12:14):
all right. Also, please share it with someone that you
know who's ready to take their self love to a
deeper level.
Speaker 2 (12:21):
All right. And if you got.
Speaker 1 (12:22):
Questions for future episodes or you want to be a
guest on the show, you can hit me up at
Iradio at jmpmpires dot com because you know I would
love to hear from you, all right, And next week
we're talking about something so necessary. It's releasing guilt around
slowing down because, like I said earlier, hustle culture lied
(12:43):
to us, okay, and it's time to break free from
that idea that rest equals laziness or failure. All right,
So get ready for that shift, and until next time,
keep showing up, keep choosing growth, and keep loving yourself
through the work because remember, your only limit is you
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