November 17, 2025 • 47 mins
care, guardian, representative
Setting It Straight w/ Ms. Gray is broadcast live Mondays at 7PM ET and Music on W4CY Radio (www.w4cy.com) part of Talk 4 Radio (www.talk4radio.com) on the Talk 4 Media Network (www.talk4media.com). Setting It Straight w/ Ms. Gray is viewed on Talk 4 TV (www.talk4tv.com).
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Setting It Straight w/ Ms. Gray is broadcast live Mondays at 7PM ET and Music on W4CY Radio (www.w4cy.com) part of Talk 4 Radio (www.talk4radio.com) on the Talk 4 Media Network (www.talk4media.com). Setting It Straight w/ Ms. Gray is viewed on Talk 4 TV (www.talk4tv.com).
Setting It Straight w/ Ms. Gray Podcast is also available on Talk 4 Media (www.talk4media.com), Talk 4 Podcasting (www.talk4podcasting.com), iHeartRadio, Amazon Music, Pandora, Spotify, Audible, and over 100 other podcast outlets.
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/setting-it-straight-w-ms-gray--5437261/support.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
The topics and opinions expressed in the following show are
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We make no recommendations or endorsements for radio show programs, services,
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Y Radio or it's employees or affiliates. Any questions or
comments should be directed to those show hosts. Thank you
(00:20):
for choosing W four c Y Radio.
Speaker 2 (01:18):
Well, good evening, good evening, good evening, and welcome, Welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome,
Hallelujah to his name, hallelujah.
Speaker 3 (01:26):
Thank you, thank you for joining us tonight, Monday night.
We only got a couple of more Mondays to go.
The month is over, it's done, it is done. But anyway,
let's pray first and then we're gonna get right at it.
Father God, we just love you so much and we
thank you, we praise you.
Speaker 2 (01:41):
Lord.
Speaker 3 (01:42):
You are just you're just blowing my mind as always.
You are arriving and doing what you do best. You
are taking care of us. You're telling us that you
love us. You're making ways.
Speaker 2 (01:54):
Out of no way.
Speaker 3 (01:54):
We just thank you, Father. This is your opportunity to
speak to your people tonight. You are free to speak
to your people tonight and do what one of the
many things you do best, and that's set us free.
So we're gonna get behind the cross, We're gonna lean in,
we're gonna self assess, we're gonna take accountability, take responsibility,
and grow in you tonight.
Speaker 2 (02:16):
We love you so much. All this and more we
ask in Jesus name, Amen, Amen and amen, hallelujah, hallelujah.
Speaker 3 (02:23):
Well, tonight is just just an awesome opportunity.
Speaker 2 (02:28):
I'm just you know, Okay, she's flying back. Okay, hang
on just a second, flying back in just a bit.
Speaker 3 (02:35):
Okay, they're still at the airport. They meaning my taekwondo instructor,
say hun, Melissa Michelle, I'm sorry, I want to call
him Melissa Michelle, Chris Golino, chrisco.
Speaker 2 (02:49):
They she just took a crew about.
Speaker 3 (02:51):
Five students, five or six students to Puerto Rico to
Taekwondo Competition Championship is a c CHI World championship in
Puerto Rico, and they brought home four gold for silver
and two bronze medals. That's what I'm talking about, come
on now. And I just texted her to tell her
(03:12):
we're gonna do a shout out tonight, and she said,
we're getting ready to get on the plane. We're flying
back in a bit, so I thought she was already
back here.
Speaker 2 (03:19):
But praise God, I am. We praying. I prayed that.
Speaker 3 (03:22):
You know, they'll be safe getting there, they'll be safe
while they're there.
Speaker 2 (03:26):
They do what they do and come on back.
Speaker 3 (03:28):
So we're just thankful and giving them, giving God praise
and and honor, and you know, only God can do this.
And it's just it's just so night talking about family,
and tonight we're gonna be talking about National Family and
Guardian Caregivers. It's the month for that, so we're gonna
talk about that. But before I do that trade trade
check in. You're doing well up there?
Speaker 2 (03:47):
Yes, I am, I really am. Do you have a
lot of how are your clients there? Are they they
are they are they.
Speaker 3 (03:55):
Overreacting just what's going on in the world, or are
they just coming in taking care their family and you know,
being you know, not too overly anxious or you know,
uptight about things.
Speaker 4 (04:07):
But the client til I work the clientele I work with.
Now they're they're kind of oblivious to a lot of that.
They're more I D d D now intellect you disabled
and developmentally disabled. So there're a lot of blivious but
it's it's you know, staff, staff is you know. I
think they got a lot of stock going on and family.
(04:27):
Family know what the shutdown. So now it's open, so
people are kind of.
Speaker 2 (04:32):
Yeah, because they got to get people get things back.
Miss k How's how's the campus life?
Speaker 3 (04:38):
If you're winding down and getting ready for the holiday,
they're gonna let you out for a week or what
they're doing with that old school doing because it used
to be we out, we were out Thanksgiving week. Friday
would be our last day and we were out for
the week.
Speaker 2 (04:50):
And we came back a following Monday, Tuesday.
Speaker 5 (04:53):
We do have exams next week, but yeah, we're out
on they're doing nasty.
Speaker 3 (04:59):
They just this is they don't have to do all that.
They don't have to do all that. Y'all are one,
not you.
Speaker 2 (05:03):
But the school.
Speaker 3 (05:04):
You're the one that sits there and determines that calendar
and so many things have changed. I just heard our
president Trump is bringing Columbus Day back, so that's gonna
be a school day out next year, you know. So
you know, but y'all just doing doing, y'all putting so
much anxiety on these students, and they have enough to
worry about to get the projects in, making sure that
(05:26):
you know, the canvas is working so they can upload.
Speaker 2 (05:28):
And all that kind of stuff. Hey, thank you missed it.
Speaker 3 (05:31):
Good evening with them a win, yes, yes, yes, and prayerfully,
best of luck on a exam.
Speaker 2 (05:37):
Thinking Mickey, Mickey, yes, she she she's.
Speaker 3 (05:41):
Got a nice routine down and stuff like that. Kind
of remind me of myself a little bit, but she
get at it. She Oh, no, I got to study.
It's like, okay, all right, let's see you all right,
you know.
Speaker 2 (05:53):
But God is good. God is good, I tell you.
Speaker 3 (05:58):
I don't even know where to start, but I do
want to continue.
Speaker 2 (06:02):
We want to continue praying about Money's being released.
Speaker 3 (06:06):
I just saw I think it's just a minor tabloid
saying that Trump is not going to release anything until
next year.
Speaker 2 (06:13):
Now, the devil is a liar. He will be releasing
it this year. And I don't know what God's desires are,
but I know, my desire and some of our desires,
we want to get it before Thanksgiving, and all he
has to do is put it into law and just
you know, come to other armored trucks. Back it up.
Take this money to IRIS. Is going to be a
(06:34):
hard exam season and a station.
Speaker 5 (06:38):
A little bit. I mean, every well, all my other
exams has been pretty okay. It's just sometimes what they
require us to study is not on the exam, so
we kind of be you know, blindsided a little bit sometimes.
But yeah, and it's okay with their study guide structures
and stuff like that for the most part.
Speaker 6 (06:58):
Some of it is majority of it the test.
Speaker 3 (07:00):
But wow, her, when I was a college professor, whatever
I told you the first first few weeks, what we studied,
first few chapters, what we studied that would be on
your first exam. What we're gonna study next is going
to be on your mid term exam. In some cases
most of the time, I didn't even know. Because social
sciences it's similar to psychology. There's a lot of memorization,
(07:23):
a lot of terms. The theorists that you know propose
the terms.
Speaker 2 (07:29):
You know, it's a lot of that included.
Speaker 3 (07:31):
So I dare I don't think I ever really gave
an all inclusive final exam.
Speaker 2 (07:36):
I didn't think that was fair.
Speaker 3 (07:39):
So whatever we were studying on those last few chapters
right leading up to the final, that's what that's what
you studied. That's what the test testing material was. So
you know these these you know these schools, uh well,
some particular schools, some particular colleges. I mean you just
if I had my way, Yeah, you all wouldn't even
be in business because more anxiety. Lee was telling me
(08:01):
about accidents in the parking garage and all kinds of stuff.
Speaker 2 (08:04):
Kids are not even looking, they're just backing out and
all that kind of stuff, you know, and y'all are
imposing that you you, you professors are responsible, You teachers,
you presidents of the.
Speaker 3 (08:13):
Departments, you head of the departments and stuff, y'all, y'all
the calls.
Speaker 2 (08:17):
Of that, Hey La k Tennessee check it in, amen. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (08:23):
So, preferly getting back to the Taekwondo a c you know,
and and her organ her nonprofit stands for a Charity
Empowered to Save Souls is ACEE t s S. Preferly,
I'm I've already been talking to my medical team. I'm like,
this is not going away. You need to you know,
we're gonna be taking a look at my numbers and
(08:43):
making sure things are you know, inflammation is getting out
of me and stuff like that. But I said, I
got to get back. I got to get back, so
preferly next year this time. Well, I'm not sure if
we'll be on in October November, but you'll hear some
kind of way.
Speaker 2 (08:58):
Oh yeah, it's great with the Porto Rico, and I
brought back the goal.
Speaker 3 (09:01):
You know, doing something because I got I gotta get
back into it.
Speaker 2 (09:05):
That's my balancing piece of me. I gotta get back
to it.
Speaker 3 (09:10):
So but anyway, so continue to pray Continua bombard Heaven, okay,
because there's a whole lot of other stuff that needs
to be you know, ironed out and made sense, made
to make sense and and and.
Speaker 2 (09:23):
Voted on and all this kind of stuff.
Speaker 3 (09:25):
And now you possibly you got New Yorkers being encouraged
to move to Florida because the new governor's Muslim, of
the Muslim practice, And I'm like, oh Jesus, we don't
need we have no more room in Florida. If you're
coming to Orlando, the central Florida we.
Speaker 2 (09:39):
Have no more room. We are beyond the gold to reach, yes, ma'am, Yes, ma'am.
Speaker 3 (09:44):
Now we we don't have room. We're already people houses.
They're building houses on top of each other. Now in
the back room, going in the backyard, I could see,
you know, you could see the person in the kitchen
in their bathroom. No, we we have no more room
in central Florida. Now, if you want to go on
the outskirts of central Florida, Palm Beach County has no room.
You're heading south Miami for lorda, they bocam.
Speaker 2 (10:06):
They have no room. So don't come here. Stay on
the top half of you know, Tallahasset, Panama City, up
up that way, you know.
Speaker 3 (10:15):
But or go someplace else. Don't come to Florida. I mean,
we don't have nothing.
Speaker 2 (10:20):
And those people don't.
Speaker 3 (10:22):
Native New Yorkers don't drive most of the time. Now
you got to drive when you come to Florida.
Speaker 2 (10:27):
And then you can't act act ugly when you come
here because but anyway, yeah, but continue to bombard heaven,
believe in God.
Speaker 3 (10:36):
Like I said for me, I can speak for me
and my house, or we want the money before Thanksgiving.
I can't speak for everybody else. I'm not here telling
God what to do and how to do it. We're
just saying God, any day now, we know that you
can do it, and I want it from a bigger
pot of money, because there's two big pots of money
out there that they found extra money for so and
there'll be enough to throw at the terror, I mean,
(10:57):
our deficit.
Speaker 2 (10:58):
So there, I got that off my chest.
Speaker 3 (11:01):
But anyway, tonight we want to talk about uh, you know,
a Family and Guardian Caregivers Month, and hats off to anybody.
I my heart goes out to people who adopt children
because we turn out okay, and uh, we're a little different,
but you know, with love and care and that you
(11:21):
want us, you know, it makes a difference. And then
you may have to get us into some counseling too,
because there's a hole. And kids that are in foster
care there is a hole because they feel that they've
been abandoned, they've been rejected. There is a hole and
the devil will play on that. And you know, especially
when you've got kids out there being you know, shuffled
(11:42):
from home to home and you know, and stuff like that,
and people going into foster care just to get a
check and all that kind of nonsense. And we're gonna,
I'm telling you what, hopefully with the old hauls that
are coming on all major systems, we're gonna it's gonna
be eradicated. It's gonna be cut out. I'm telling you,
it is going to be cut out. So but we got,
(12:02):
you know, we've got caregivers in all kinds of categories.
We've got those of us who have aging parents that
that we take care of, whether you live with them
or not. We've got, of course, you know of the
foster care system. We've got the representative payee system. When
you've got that loved one that you know can't handle
(12:24):
their money, so you go Social Security will make you
the representative payee so on their checks.
Speaker 2 (12:29):
That will be deposited in their account. It's a joint account.
Speaker 3 (12:35):
We've got all kinds of And I don't know why
the Lord had me to I sat back and because
the rest of the title of the show is National
Family and Guardian Caregivers Month Poland when caring and self
care cross contaminates. When caring and self care crosses, because
most of the time, most of your caregivers don't care,
(12:58):
don't take care of themselves.
Speaker 2 (13:00):
Most of the.
Speaker 3 (13:01):
Time, even if you've got another sibling in the family,
they don't come to your rescue. They get as far
away as they can because they don't want to be
bothered until the person unfortunately passes away, and if there's
any type of excuse me, asset are left over, then.
Speaker 2 (13:18):
They show up.
Speaker 3 (13:19):
And I got a problem with that, But nevertheless, I
had to protect our family home and things like that
from my family member and other family members who knew
that my mom at Alzheimer's and would not remember that
they were there earlier in the day stealing stuff out
of our home. My hats off to those who take
(13:40):
on that responsibility. At the same time, you've got to
take care of yourself. They need to assure kids and
foster care that they are loved and no matter what
they matter.
Speaker 2 (13:49):
You're absolutely right missing, You're absolutely right. They need to.
Speaker 3 (13:52):
Okay, yeah, they You're absolutely right. And that's the last
thing that we were thinking about as a As a child,
you want to you know, you're hoping you're watching u
people coming in and your roommate is going to the office,
and then your roommate is packed up the suitcase and
then they're gone.
Speaker 2 (14:12):
Because they get it.
Speaker 3 (14:13):
They're getting to be placed and then they're getting to
put the the adoption is going forward, and you know,
you know, I was watching something and uh, hello, hey,
elijanis Tennessee. Uh you got to let you know, these
folks that's been in these systems know that you care.
(14:33):
At the same time that it would be helpful to
get them therapy. So if you're already in front of
the judge, you know, trying to get the process you
need to, it would be good to have the judge
to put it in writing in the court order actually
that they could get eight weeks of counseling at some
point as soon as possible, because it's hard to explain
(14:54):
I'm looking at thinking I was looking at something on Facebook.
All these all of the school you know, teachers teaching
in middle and elementary schools are quitting and they're crying
because they said, the kids are out of control.
Speaker 2 (15:06):
We just don't.
Speaker 3 (15:07):
Understand whether this anger is coming from, whether this disrespect
is coming from.
Speaker 2 (15:12):
And there's a whole lot to answer to that. There's
a whole lot not saying that those kids were in
shelters or whatever the case may be, that some of
those kids are living in their cars with their parents.
They're living in their vehicles. They're maybe going from shelter
to shelter. Right now, we got a lot of motel
living right now. People are in.
Speaker 3 (15:31):
Motels and they go from motel to motel, and I'm like, ohm,
like I can't I can't even imagine that. But I
know that once upon a time, when I was married
to my second husband, I'm like, I want I should
have gone to I wanted to go to a shelter,
but my oldest son was like over twelve years old,
and shelters are not gonna take male children over twelve.
Speaker 2 (15:53):
So I knew that already. And so you know, you
just you suffer it. You suffer it.
Speaker 3 (16:00):
I suffered in silence, but you know it came out, Okay.
Now everybody have those opportunities. I did go live with
this lady one week and she well, two weeks. I
think we're with her two weeks. And this lady was
from you know where, and it was just like she
was just weirded out.
Speaker 2 (16:16):
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (16:16):
I thought she was just nice. Met her at a
PTA meeting. She was always friendly and stuff like that.
And then I'm like, well, you know, I have to
get out of my home and you know, leaving my
husband and I got to take my kids. And she goes, well, coming,
you know, I've got a hold a big screen porch.
You can come and you know, stay there. And I'm like, okay,
So I transferred the cable to her house and you know,
next thing, she's like, you're welcome to anything. I said, well,
(16:39):
we're not going to, you know, do that most of
the time. We'll probably eat out or whatever. I don't
want to inconvenience you and your son and stuff. Next thing,
I know, she.
Speaker 2 (16:47):
Taking step out the shelves of the cabinets and putting
it up and no conversation. But it's like, oh I
thought we could have oh it's not up there, okay,
and she would cut the lights out of it. Was
it was, it was, it was, And I said, God,
you got to get me out of here. If I
have to have to take.
Speaker 3 (17:04):
My son back to Palm Beach, let him stay with
his dad and me and the twins we just go
to a shelter. At this point, this lady crazy, and
I don't know what's gonna happen next.
Speaker 2 (17:15):
And the Lord opened up a door for my neighbor.
Speaker 3 (17:17):
Said hey, there's a condo for rent and when and
you know that day and after work, I broke my
neck getting there. Met with the property man, the manager
of the of the condo and managers, the owner's representatives,
and I'm like, I need to move now. And I
didn't tell her to the last minute. Oh we're gone,
We're out of here. And she helped my furniture ransom
(17:40):
because I had my couch and something a couple of
other piece. She held a ransom and then I had
to text her say you know what you're forgiving. And
then she allowed my husband to come and pick up stuff.
And I'm like, oh my god, Jesus helped me. So
it's weird situations. I can I can't imagine when people
have to make that decision. They got to move out,
they're being evicted, they gotta you know, you.
Speaker 2 (18:03):
Look at what are my options here?
Speaker 3 (18:05):
And you know, and your caregiving, especially if you're a
parent of you know, children, no matter their age, your child.
Speaker 2 (18:12):
Is disabled, you're disabled.
Speaker 3 (18:16):
It's a lot, but it does cross because you forget
to take care of yourself. You're so busy trying to
take care of that loved one or your children or whoever,
and you lose sight of you and you're exhausted at
the end of the night, you know, So you were
(18:37):
here to tell you got to take care of yourself.
And we talk about self care all the time, and
it comes in all kinds of shades and shame, you know,
shapes and colors, and everybody and culture and everybody's situation
is different. But you've got to keep moving, You've got
to utilize resources, you've got to ask questions.
Speaker 2 (18:57):
And sometimes you don't want people in your business. I
get that, besore. Sometimes you have to let people get
in your business so that you could take care of
what you can take care of and take care of yourself.
Take care of yourself. You know, anybody wants jumping here now.
Speaker 4 (19:10):
I mean, I think you pretty much said, you know,
set a mouth full. I mean, but it is, it's
like it's like the art of caregiving, you know, And
so many of my peers either work caregivers are still caregiving,
and it's it's a never ending job. And so I
(19:31):
think people don't realize the smallest things that that could
be beneficial, like someone fixing a dish for you, or
someone taking your trash out, or someone just sitting with
your loved one five ten, fifteen minutes while you just
have a break, or someone just offering to help you
(19:52):
straighten up, you know, just the it's the little things
that that can mean so much. And I think when
you're at that point, sometimes you don't don't know where
to turn, you know.
Speaker 2 (20:02):
I was fortunately I did have siblings that would help.
Speaker 4 (20:05):
You know, we had like a role that we played,
but it still was, you know, difficult, you know because
sometimes you especially with a parent, you have to remember
that's your parent, but sometimes you have to make decisions
that that they become your child and it's it's not comfortable,
but pretty much for their best interests. And so I I,
(20:26):
you know, I find out resources. You know, just look
at it now, if you're seeing yourself headed that way,
potentially headed.
Speaker 6 (20:34):
That way, just find out who who your supports is.
Speaker 4 (20:37):
And I have close friends and and family that I
could could talk to as well when when you get tired.
Speaker 2 (20:44):
And so it's the small things that mean a whole lot.
It really does. So, but it is self care.
Speaker 4 (20:51):
You have to can't find out what resources your your
you're you're you're entitled to. Some people don't know what
they're entitled to, and my dad was a that and
so I was very fortunate. Sometimes other vets would see
me in the VA with my dad and they said,
you're the caregiver.
Speaker 2 (21:07):
You know you can get this. They're not gonna tell.
Speaker 4 (21:09):
You that, ask about this, that and the other. So
it became like wow, you know, it's like a support system.
So find out from other people that are caregivers what
resources are out there.
Speaker 2 (21:20):
Makes a big difference. Amen. Amen, And you got to
go back.
Speaker 3 (21:24):
You know the fifth commandment honor thy mother, thy father,
that that days may be long. It doesn't mean that
you're to be taking for granted. You know, you know,
you don't go through craziness and stuff like that, but
you can still honor them and give by giving them
the best that you can.
Speaker 2 (21:39):
And sometimes, you know, I've always shared, you know I've
shared before.
Speaker 3 (21:43):
The hardest thing for me was to I had to
place my mom in the nursing home.
Speaker 2 (21:47):
I had no choice. I had nobody to help me.
Speaker 3 (21:50):
The neighbors couldn't get over the fact that she was
hallucinating and stuff like that, like you.
Speaker 2 (21:55):
She don't talk like that.
Speaker 3 (21:56):
I said, well, I'm trying to tell you, and I
don't know what they were thinking. Her baby's just it
was thinking, you know, they just take You know, I
know what I'm talking about. And I know you can't
imagine your loved one, you know, going that to that
far extream. And then my aunt Betty, when I was
getting married the first time, came and said, well, i'll
take her.
Speaker 2 (22:13):
We'll take her back to Georgia with us.
Speaker 3 (22:15):
Just go ahead and pack her up. We'll take her back.
And I said, now, and Betty, I'm telling you now,
you've got she's she imagines things, she hallucinates, and there's
a little girl that she swears that she's looking at
in the mirror that's taking her things and dressing like her.
Speaker 2 (22:30):
Oh girl, please, you know, quein't gonna be a fire.
We're gonna put her. Get off there in these trees.
Speaker 3 (22:35):
When I went to get her five months later, because
she went three months later, she wouldn't let her go.
And her daughter calls me from another state, said, well,
I take care of my mother.
Speaker 2 (22:44):
You need to take care of you. I said, you
tell your mama to let my mother go. And I
hung up the phone. We got told my husband, let's
go rented the car. She didn't even know we were coming.
Speaker 3 (22:52):
I drove through the night to get to Georgia, and
I stopped because I wasn't sure what hell was hers.
I said, Betty, I'm here here down street. Which of
these streets do I turn down? And it's a hell?
Oh well, I didn't Which street do I turn down?
I'm not here to talk to you. I'm here to
get my mother. So you tell your daughter to leave
(23:12):
me alone, because I could go to Carolina. Now, don't
tell me I'm not taking care of my mother. And
my aunt was getting money from my uncle to take
care of my mom. I was sitting my mom's whole
social Security check up there, came out of pocket for
her medications, and my uncle sending her five six hundred dollars.
I didn't know nothing about it, you know, so a
little crazy ist that when I got there, Guys, my
(23:33):
aunt was the queen of figurines. She's the queen of figurines.
There's a little everything. When I got there, there was
none to be seen, and the mirrors in the hall
and the bedroom were covered up. And all her husband
could say to me is you got hell on your hands?
I said, no, I don't you taking care of that.
This is nothing to me.
Speaker 2 (23:53):
So let me go and pack my mother up. We're gone.
We're gone.
Speaker 3 (23:56):
So nobody likes to believe you. So there's that rejection,
you know. And I never talked to my aunt again.
I barely made it. I barely went to the funeral.
God had to talk to me. But nevertheless that my
mom had already passed. But you know, and then on
the biological side, you know, my thing is, and I'm
gonna I'm not gonna go into that, but my thing is,
if you've got an adult parent still living.
Speaker 2 (24:18):
They're your responsibility. It's not about your relationships anymore. It's
past that. If you can lend a helping hand, you can.
You know, if your sister is the one.
Speaker 3 (24:28):
That's living with your mom or living with that loved one,
you take food over there once a week, you go
over there and you cook for food, cook. I mean,
come on, we all got stories, we all got trauma
that we've been through. Everybody living has been through trauma.
Just a baby coming into this world is traumatized. So
let's get past it. Not even got new buzzwords. Let's
get past that. Now, what do I what can I
(24:50):
do to help? But I made sure.
Speaker 2 (24:52):
That even though I had to place my mom in
a nursing home, I made sure those people knew.
Speaker 3 (24:57):
You don't know when I'm gonna show up. You don't
you know when I'm coming through to be on my
lunch break. It could be at eight o'clock at night,
eleven o'clock at night.
Speaker 2 (25:06):
You don't know. And I'm walking through. I don't even
sign in. I'm going to check on my mom, even
though she hadn't called my name out so I cannot.
I'm at peace. Go ahead, not just.
Speaker 4 (25:17):
At a disclaimer too, because I remember before my dad,
This was years before he had passed, but he got
real sick and went to the hospital and then they
released him to rehab. And before we went to rehab,
I was checking with people to find out which is
the better one, because you know, you hear horror stories.
And so I asked one of my girlfriends, whose sister
(25:38):
was a geriatric nurse, and she told her to tell me,
I don't care if you're paying the most or the
least all of me. He said, you got to show
up at him. He said, you don't come on out,
You comeing out unannounced. Different times of the day and night,
so you could see for yourself. Let other people come
in there to come and see for themselves, he said,
(25:58):
because everybody's not going.
Speaker 2 (26:00):
To care for your loved one the way you will.
Speaker 4 (26:02):
So, like you said, she said, I don't care how
good of rating that the place got or how low,
you still have to go in and checkcuse me, periodically
check on your loved one. And so yeah, unfortunately a
lot of people are in there for just for the money.
Speaker 2 (26:20):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (26:21):
Yeah, and you've got to check, you know, you got
I know, my baby is telling me a lot that
you know. While I was in the hospital, she came
up every day. She came up every day. You are
already told her her teachers.
Speaker 2 (26:31):
Look, I got to keep my phone on because they
could call me any moment. I got to keep my
phone on.
Speaker 3 (26:36):
I'll step out of the class if you got a
problem with it, you know, and talk with other residents
there as well. Yeah, mickey, Yeah, make friends with the
other residents, you know, let them, you know, and if
they if you see that nobody's coming to visit them,
you know, it's nothing to bring.
Speaker 2 (26:50):
Them a little whatnot a little you know.
Speaker 3 (26:52):
I'm just thank you for looking out for you know,
for my you know, for my mom or my dad
and my auntie.
Speaker 2 (26:57):
Thank you so much for that.
Speaker 3 (26:58):
Yeah, you can check with the check talk with the
other residents and stuff.
Speaker 2 (27:01):
But I walk through. I'd get it. I'd do a tour.
Speaker 3 (27:04):
I didn't have time to do a tour, but you know,
I had to place her and I just did it
because it was safety issues and all kinds of stuff.
Speaker 2 (27:11):
But I walked through that place.
Speaker 3 (27:13):
I would walk through the cafeteria, I'd go to the
physical therapy area.
Speaker 2 (27:18):
I look at the little pool outside, you know. Yeah,
I walked through there. Then I go visit my mom
or I go visit her, and then I come back out.
Then I did my own tour. Let me see what's new.
Speaker 3 (27:28):
While these my mom's clothes are missing, what's going on
their labels?
Speaker 2 (27:32):
I know what they look like. You need to replace them.
That that stopped. That stopped.
Speaker 3 (27:36):
I said, you know what, I'm gonna wash my mom's clothes. Yeah,
I'll wash them and I'll bring them back.
Speaker 2 (27:41):
I'm good. You know, just little things like that.
Speaker 3 (27:44):
And at the same time, you know your child, you know,
your little one going to school and stuff like you know,
you talk with that teacher. You know, you know your child,
be honest, be honest, help my mom to take care
of my dad. I had to put my mom in
a nursing care. It was very hard. I was blessed
to have a good crew.
Speaker 2 (28:01):
But I did like I did like it, showed up anytime,
all the time.
Speaker 3 (28:06):
Thank you all the ka men. And I'm gonna tell
you always check things out. Too many bad stories going
on in some of those places. Yeah, and I'm telling
you years later, your mind is at peace because when
you could look back and you could tell your flesh,
your flesh, you know, the little devil on your shoulder,
Oh you could have done better.
Speaker 2 (28:23):
Oh you shouldn't put your mother in a nursing home.
You know you as a social worker, you shouldn't have No,
the devil is a liar.
Speaker 3 (28:29):
She had the best care. I made sure of it,
and it was for her better good. And guess what,
God is honoring me.
Speaker 2 (28:36):
He's honoring his word.
Speaker 3 (28:38):
My days are gonna be long, and I'm gonna be healthy,
and I have great memories of my mom.
Speaker 2 (28:43):
I'd tell my kids all the time.
Speaker 3 (28:44):
I wish they they lived, were able to live long
enough for y'all to see them, because y'all wouldn't be
doing nothing. They were just being head over heels happy
to have grandkids, you know, so you know, and they
would have been up here with me.
Speaker 2 (28:57):
You know. My husband thought he was doing something like,
you know what, gonna take my mom.
Speaker 3 (29:01):
I'm like, yeah, but trust me, if my either one
of my parents have been living, they been moving to
Orlando with me, trust me, trust me, we wouldn't have
a two story, we didn't have a condo with stairs. No,
our housing situation would be totally different. So take care
of your mother. You take care of her. Them ain't
got nothing to do with me. She like the gossip
and talk about me. I ain't got nothing to do
with it.
Speaker 2 (29:19):
You take care of her anyway. That's a whole different story.
I'm sorry.
Speaker 5 (29:27):
I was going to bring up though, like, although I
don't really have experience of being a caregiver anyway, but
I do, I mean temporarily.
Speaker 6 (29:35):
I guess you could.
Speaker 2 (29:35):
Say you almost had seven years of experience, right.
Speaker 6 (29:40):
Not too much. Well, I wanted to literate caregiving, but.
Speaker 5 (29:44):
Ability to take care of my mother if she can't
take care of herself.
Speaker 2 (29:48):
But I was a very good job.
Speaker 3 (29:49):
What'd you say, I said, you did a very good job.
You know, how to keep people away from me. She
wouldn't let people come just roll on. You could, Oh,
well maybe we can start.
Speaker 2 (29:57):
No, ma'am, No, she's not taking visitors my baby.
Speaker 3 (30:01):
Yeah, but you don't.
Speaker 6 (30:05):
You wouldn't even want to either.
Speaker 2 (30:08):
No, you don't be and you're like, I don't want
to be bothered. No, you don't need to come up here.
Speaker 5 (30:13):
It's important to have balance during that time because I
was in high school, and I mean I already had
a set schedule of doing my work, making sure I'm
doing my work, intending to my mom. That was literally
my to do list, tending to her anything she needed,
food wise, whatever the case may be, driving her somewhere,
And to this day, she still want me to drive
for somewhere, even though she's completely capable.
Speaker 2 (30:34):
Guys don't be able to go back.
Speaker 5 (30:38):
You've been trying to finesse me because she would literally
like we're going somewhere together.
Speaker 6 (30:41):
She'd be like, you're driving.
Speaker 5 (30:43):
She knows to ask me right before we leave if
I'm driving, to make me feel bad for her driving.
Speaker 2 (30:49):
Like audience disregard that. No, we're not all out because
bage of this little thing over here.
Speaker 6 (30:57):
But anyways, because she gets we got to go.
Speaker 2 (31:01):
She you know, she don't play the radio.
Speaker 5 (31:04):
Who said, well, anyway, she's still trying to control my driving.
Lead you to the course to the corner. I'm not
whatever she sees. She's right anyways. But yes, it's important
to have balance and assess schedule.
Speaker 2 (31:20):
But uh.
Speaker 6 (31:29):
Yeah, when she got rid of and she.
Speaker 2 (31:30):
Had a little fellow too at the time too, so
she gave me all that and order who was driving
that little fellow that could make sure she come up
to get to the hospital and stuff. Oh well, of
course I just wanted to add talk about balance. Why
are you.
Speaker 6 (31:45):
Anyways? Yes, it's very important.
Speaker 5 (31:48):
And when she did get rid of the nurses, because
she does not like anybody in her space. You know,
it was our responsibility to tend to her and everything
that and I would do it all over again.
Speaker 6 (31:58):
So I love my mother.
Speaker 5 (31:59):
So therefore you just finding bayless and finding time for
yourself as well, because I'm a workaholic, so as long
as I'm working, I'm perfectly fine. So therefore it was
just a job to always do and I enjoyed it.
Speaker 6 (32:11):
So just find time for.
Speaker 5 (32:13):
Yourself in between and again, like Miss Tray said, the
little things.
Speaker 6 (32:17):
Really matter, like literally, the little things.
Speaker 5 (32:19):
Just you going outside to breathe, being with nature, just
like the little things is very important.
Speaker 6 (32:25):
But that's what I wanted to add it.
Speaker 3 (32:26):
Yeah, find free things to do and going to pick
up medication and grocery shopping is not what we're talking about.
That is not self care. Okay, that's mandatory, that's part
of life. No, we're talking about you saying if somebody
come up and say, hey, you know what, I got
two hours to spare on Friday afternoon, you go ahead
and do what you want to do. I can come
(32:47):
in and watch, you know.
Speaker 2 (32:49):
You know, oh sorry, that's okay. One of the things too,
that was helpful.
Speaker 4 (32:54):
So I remember, you know, in the process of care,
my niece was saying, Andrey, why don't you get a
blink camera system? And so she's all you do is
plug it in the wall and you're able to and
have Wi Fi and you're able.
Speaker 2 (33:07):
To see my daughter.
Speaker 7 (33:08):
And so a camera system and when I tell you,
it made the world of difference because I was able
to aim the camera at my dad.
Speaker 2 (33:27):
You could talk through it. I can hear him if.
Speaker 4 (33:29):
He talked yeah, and I and I would positioning right
beside where he was sleeping or sitting and we just
could check on him. So and you can zoom in
and anytime you can record. And so we had strategically
placed in the house so we could see you know,
the front door, the back door, you know, someone moving about,
you know, making sure that they weren't going upstairs. So
that is something that really and like I said, literally
(33:51):
just plugged it in the wall. And and they're small, small,
not that big at all, And that was a godsend.
Speaker 2 (33:59):
So I can see him throughout the night, call down,
check on him.
Speaker 4 (34:02):
And then I also had like a baby monitor too
as well that I can hear, you know, which helped.
So some of the things will give you a little
peace of mind when you're out and about or.
Speaker 2 (34:15):
And there's other systems out there.
Speaker 4 (34:17):
I'm just I want my girlfriend, she uses something else,
but she's able to talk or communicate or dollar mother
or something like that. But yeah, it's some devices out
that will really give you a little peace of mind.
So if you just want to step away thirty minutes
or hour, that will give you some kind of sense,
a piece of mind, and you can be able to
see if you have to call now on one or
something like that. But that is something I would suggest
(34:39):
to caregivers as well.
Speaker 3 (34:42):
There's equipment out there. I definitely agree with you about
the piece that God gives you when you take care
of your mother. I pray some of these young people
get it. Honor your parents as God commands us. Yes,
elder elder janeis thank you. You're right, because this younger generator,
they don't get it. They're missing out on it. I
don't understand. I ran into another mother that's just having
a problem with her daughter. I mean, just like you
(35:03):
almost hate your daughter, and I don't get that. Some
of these parents I don't know because if because they
had the baby young or the baby and one.
Speaker 2 (35:12):
Young lady, I said, do you look like your dad?
She goes yeah. I said, okay.
Speaker 3 (35:15):
The mom mad at that at the X and so
you're taking it out on an adult child.
Speaker 2 (35:21):
That makes no. I don't understand that.
Speaker 3 (35:24):
Because that child will have to enter and take care
of you, and they can make the decision not to.
There's no law that says that we have to take
care of our aging parents.
Speaker 2 (35:32):
There's no law.
Speaker 3 (35:34):
So you're on your you know, y'all, you got to
step back and say, you know what, let me get
my Why am I having a problem with this child?
I don't understand it myself, But why am I having
a problem now with my mom?
Speaker 2 (35:44):
When I turned sixteen, I.
Speaker 3 (35:45):
Was looking more like my biological mother, and my mom,
I don't know what was going through a mind. And
I just came to her and I said, Mom, I'm
working part time, I'm in high school. Can I go
ahead and take over my insurance my curR insurance bill?
Speaker 2 (35:59):
Well, I don't know what you want to do that. No, Mom,
I'm just taking that responsibility off of you and dad.
Speaker 3 (36:04):
That's all I'm driving now. I'm driving my sister to school.
You know, that's our car. I can afford to do it.
I don't know why, she just but I was. As
I was getting older, I'm looking more like my biological mother,
and she just had a problem with that. And so
we weren't as close as my dad and I were closer.
You know, I was a daddy's girl, but my mom
(36:24):
just was ess. But I ended up, you know, my
dad passed away before she did, and I ended up,
you know, and there was no brainer.
Speaker 2 (36:31):
I'm gonna take care of my mother. That's my mom,
you know.
Speaker 3 (36:33):
But other folks on the some of my biological families
keep forgetting that I had parents that took me off
your hands. Never asked you for a dime, went to
private school, which I had to pay double tuition because
I was not Catholic.
Speaker 2 (36:50):
They never asked you for anything. But now you're looking
at me like I'm supposed to take care of somebody. No,
I did mine.
Speaker 3 (36:56):
I did my tour, both my mother and my father.
You you, you're gonna be all right now. But but
if God ever tells me I'm flipping the script now,
I need you to step in. I'm there because I
already know what I would do. I already know I
know resources, you know. But at the end of the day,
and God did tell.
Speaker 2 (37:15):
Me, you know, you don't have to say that anymore
because He's gonna take care of that. But I took
care of my parents. I've done.
Speaker 3 (37:21):
I've got receipts, I got scars too. So but I
hope and pray that I've raised my kids. That's the
one thing I didn't want that to fall on them,
that they have to take care of me.
Speaker 2 (37:31):
At an early earlier age, So that's one thing.
Speaker 3 (37:34):
Going through all of this where your parents were led
to the family they adopted you from. Yes, Anna Stagia,
My mom and my biological mother are distant cousins.
Speaker 2 (37:41):
They're about thirty years apart. They were thirty years apart.
We never interacted with that family. That was really weird.
Speaker 3 (37:47):
They had family reviews, they never invited my moms. But
when my biological.
Speaker 2 (37:51):
Mother had my older brother, her mother tells her, go
to Palm.
Speaker 3 (37:55):
Beach, you get better paying jobs, and you send money
back this young man for this boy. And then she
got pregnant and while living with my mom and her
between my mom and her sisters, and then my parents
could not have children, and so she asked, you want
a baby, and they said, yeah, we want her. And
then I don't think they knew what I was until
I came out. My mom and dad came and got
(38:16):
me the next day, and I was a great. I
will always be a great. And I think I shared
this with you all. I've got a cousin over in Jacksonville.
She's a nurse are in.
Speaker 2 (38:25):
We looked just alike. No blood between us, two brothers kids.
Speaker 3 (38:29):
So God was saying, if I never wanted to tell
anybody the secret was safe. But I hold the lives
of the DNA of three families. I always will, I
could die tomorrow, I will always. And I'm the only
one named my biological name.
Speaker 2 (38:44):
No one has named their child my name on all
the three families, so I'm a little special. So you
can't tell me. Then, I'm just joking. God is good.
That's only God.
Speaker 3 (38:55):
Only God could do that, like I said, and I
we got the four. I got the great forehead, I
got the great nose.
Speaker 2 (39:00):
Look like a grain. You wouldn't. You couldn't. She's thinner
than I am, and she wears contacts now, but we
woke wear glasses and stuff. And I introduced her. I
took the twins over.
Speaker 3 (39:11):
I'm thinking I think Don went with us too to
meet them years ago. And and then and I was
just leaning on the table like this, like my daughter
is saying, Oh my God, y'all looked just alike.
Speaker 2 (39:24):
So God is that precious. He's that precious.
Speaker 3 (39:27):
And you know, I've.
Speaker 2 (39:31):
Been so blessed, so blessed, and I won't take nothing.
You know, They're part of my story. They're part of
who I am.
Speaker 3 (39:38):
And everything I did go through and everything, all that stuff.
Speaker 2 (39:41):
You look back. The song says, my soul looked back and.
Speaker 3 (39:44):
Wonder how I got over Your flesh looks back and
all the heck you've been through, all the distrust and
the rejection, and oh my god, and we can't. We're
having lima bean soup three nights in a row and
all this stuff.
Speaker 2 (40:00):
We get our hand me downs and oh we got
to go to seas.
Speaker 3 (40:03):
We got to go to goodwill and shop and that's
what we you know, we go to the food bank.
Speaker 2 (40:07):
Your soul will look back and wonder how you got
your flesh your mind? Yes, thank you, missy. That's real.
It's real. I talk about my pinion. I talk about that, yes,
and I'm glad. I've met a lot of people who've
been adopted, and it's a it's a fifty to fifty
They once someone say, oh, I wanted to meet my parents,
the others say, I don't ever want to meet it.
Speaker 3 (40:29):
And it's okay. I'm glad I met mine. I wasn't
trying to get involved in it, get in the family.
I was just trying to see what who's got this
medical history that I was being played with.
Speaker 2 (40:39):
I had to go to the to the to.
Speaker 3 (40:40):
The source which side of the family just came from
and finding out it came from both sides.
Speaker 2 (40:45):
But I didn't have to I've never had to have surgery.
I never had to have medication because I prayed and said, God,
please remove this big a cup from me and Jesus name,
And if I ever have a daughter, don't let it,
don't let it be be store upon her the power
of prayer. If I could say anything else, that's the
I can't if I can't prove anything else. Prayer changes
(41:08):
of thing. Prayer changes a thing.
Speaker 3 (41:12):
You have to pray strategically as specifically, stop these willing
nearly prayer.
Speaker 2 (41:17):
Oh God, And this is another. This is gonna trip
you up. God.
Speaker 3 (41:20):
If it's your will, it is his will, because guess
what he put it in you? Where you get that,
where you get that from?
Speaker 2 (41:25):
He put it in you. He said, well, I knew
you before your mother's womb knew you.
Speaker 3 (41:29):
You know, that's my favorite. And Jeremiah, when God said
I knew you before Gerald Dinifelter ever met that?
Speaker 2 (41:35):
That you who can't love a God like that, who
can't love Jesus like that? The Holy Spirit? He knew
me before he placed me.
Speaker 3 (41:45):
And I'm I'm I'm gonna deny him.
Speaker 2 (41:48):
Please tell him, and I tell my kids, y'all weren't adopted.
All of y'all came through I'm through me in the
right all the time. All right, all right? But but
who do they trust? God? Don't come to me. I
gave you to God the moment I can hold you
in the room. They yours. Thank you. Let me steward them,
(42:10):
Let me be who they need to be. I need
to be for them. But they're yours. They're yours because
I know prayer, changes of things.
Speaker 3 (42:19):
That's all I know. That's all I know. And I
was having this conversation with myself yesterday. I said, I
don't know why, but I had this. You know what,
Let's say, what if and I've said this before on
the show, what if they prove that God.
Speaker 2 (42:31):
Really doesn't exist?
Speaker 3 (42:32):
Jesus hold the Spirit just all been one non fiction,
fictitious fiction story, and all these people mentioned in these
sixty six chapters in this one book really didn't exist. Well,
I've got some miracles, I've got some testimony that you
can't nobody could create that, nobody can make that happen,
(42:53):
and don't just fall out the sky to.
Speaker 2 (42:55):
Prove you wrong. And I'll stand on my faith.
Speaker 3 (42:59):
You can't tell me nothing about God Jesus in the
Holy Spirit because for everything your.
Speaker 2 (43:04):
Little down you know.
Speaker 3 (43:05):
And I'm not talking to my viewers that we love
you all, I'm not talking.
Speaker 2 (43:09):
I'm talking to those who are peeping, who are trolling.
You can't say nothing about my God, and guess what,
you can't do nothing to me, my co host, my
IT person, my viewers are nothing because I rebuke you
in the name of Jesus. Keep playing, keep playing. You
got the right one. You got the right one.
Speaker 3 (43:28):
I protect mine. And I'm not talking about my kids.
I'm talking about my co hosts. I'm talking about my
IT my producer that you don't see. Most of y'all
know who she is, but she's oh no, come. I
promise you that that young lady ever called me and
tell me somebody doing stupid. I'm on the next thing smoking.
I promise you. I can ride a plane now.
Speaker 2 (43:50):
Nothing is enough, fab and you could be blood if
you want to. You can be fab. I will check you. You
lean these people along because these people trying there trying. Amen.
Thank you, Jay Dennis. Yeah, and if you don't want
none of this, it's fine too, because my Jesus had
to train Judas knowing what he had to do. So
(44:12):
all you all are doing is completing my story.
Speaker 3 (44:14):
Let's go, let's go, but we're here to stay. We're
gonna do what we got to do. We're reaching the God,
letting God do. God is reaching and had nothing to
do with us. We're just wiling vessels. We're just willing vessels,
and we're gonna still do it. We'll still do it.
I don't know where that came from, but talking to you.
Speaker 2 (44:35):
Hey, that's prayer warrior. There go get.
Speaker 3 (44:44):
Yes, please, don't don't get don't think you know three
minutes we got two minutes out. Don't please don't please
don't leave them alone, leave them alone, leave them alone.
Speaker 2 (44:54):
Uh, don't go there. You have to ever worry those
who are listening. You've been faithful to us. You being faithful,
and you pray or we got God's got you covered,
a hedge of protection. Your ages are all on fleet.
Just go after God though. That's all because yeah, we're
heading to a recession. Guys. I didn't want to get
into that, but you know feeling it coming so true.
Speaker 3 (45:15):
Amen, hesion we're heading to the unknown, unlike ever before.
Speaker 2 (45:19):
You got to hold on to him, hold on to it,
hold on to Jesus, cry out.
Speaker 3 (45:25):
Have your gospel music, your Christian music ready, just blaring.
Speaker 2 (45:29):
Let it blare.
Speaker 3 (45:30):
That car cuts in front of you. God, please be
with them. Don't let them inconvenience me today. Don't let
me have road rage inside of my car because nobody
can hear me, because I don't know what they're going
through now. We don't know what the world is going through.
Speaker 2 (45:43):
Now. I know the world is opened back up and
everything else.
Speaker 3 (45:46):
It is not going to be business as usual because
the powers that be behind the scenes are already cutting
stuff out, already eliminating stuff, making new laws, making new rules.
Ain't checking with the voters at all. Way, It's almost
our time, Thanksgiving this next week. We'll see you next Monday. Now,
we promise make sure y'all come back, same time, same station.
Speaker 2 (46:09):
Got back by
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(00:20):
for choosing W four c Y Radio.
Speaker 2 (01:18):
Well, good evening, good evening, good evening, and welcome, Welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome,
Hallelujah to his name, hallelujah.
Speaker 3 (01:26):
Thank you, thank you for joining us tonight, Monday night.
We only got a couple of more Mondays to go.
The month is over, it's done, it is done. But anyway,
let's pray first and then we're gonna get right at it.
Father God, we just love you so much and we
thank you, we praise you.
Speaker 2 (01:41):
Lord.
Speaker 3 (01:42):
You are just you're just blowing my mind as always.
You are arriving and doing what you do best. You
are taking care of us. You're telling us that you
love us. You're making ways.
Speaker 2 (01:54):
Out of no way.
Speaker 3 (01:54):
We just thank you, Father. This is your opportunity to
speak to your people tonight. You are free to speak
to your people tonight and do what one of the
many things you do best, and that's set us free.
So we're gonna get behind the cross, We're gonna lean in,
we're gonna self assess, we're gonna take accountability, take responsibility,
and grow in you tonight.
Speaker 2 (02:16):
We love you so much. All this and more we
ask in Jesus name, Amen, Amen and amen, hallelujah, hallelujah.
Speaker 3 (02:23):
Well, tonight is just just an awesome opportunity.
Speaker 2 (02:28):
I'm just you know, Okay, she's flying back. Okay, hang
on just a second, flying back in just a bit.
Speaker 3 (02:35):
Okay, they're still at the airport. They meaning my taekwondo instructor,
say hun, Melissa Michelle, I'm sorry, I want to call
him Melissa Michelle, Chris Golino, chrisco.
Speaker 2 (02:49):
They she just took a crew about.
Speaker 3 (02:51):
Five students, five or six students to Puerto Rico to
Taekwondo Competition Championship is a c CHI World championship in
Puerto Rico, and they brought home four gold for silver
and two bronze medals. That's what I'm talking about, come
on now. And I just texted her to tell her
(03:12):
we're gonna do a shout out tonight, and she said,
we're getting ready to get on the plane. We're flying
back in a bit, so I thought she was already
back here.
Speaker 2 (03:19):
But praise God, I am. We praying. I prayed that.
Speaker 3 (03:22):
You know, they'll be safe getting there, they'll be safe
while they're there.
Speaker 2 (03:26):
They do what they do and come on back.
Speaker 3 (03:28):
So we're just thankful and giving them, giving God praise
and and honor, and you know, only God can do this.
And it's just it's just so night talking about family,
and tonight we're gonna be talking about National Family and
Guardian Caregivers. It's the month for that, so we're gonna
talk about that. But before I do that trade trade
check in. You're doing well up there?
Speaker 2 (03:47):
Yes, I am, I really am. Do you have a
lot of how are your clients there? Are they they
are they are they.
Speaker 3 (03:55):
Overreacting just what's going on in the world, or are
they just coming in taking care their family and you know,
being you know, not too overly anxious or you know,
uptight about things.
Speaker 4 (04:07):
But the client til I work the clientele I work with.
Now they're they're kind of oblivious to a lot of that.
They're more I D d D now intellect you disabled
and developmentally disabled. So there're a lot of blivious but
it's it's you know, staff, staff is you know. I
think they got a lot of stock going on and family.
(04:27):
Family know what the shutdown. So now it's open, so
people are kind of.
Speaker 2 (04:32):
Yeah, because they got to get people get things back.
Miss k How's how's the campus life?
Speaker 3 (04:38):
If you're winding down and getting ready for the holiday,
they're gonna let you out for a week or what
they're doing with that old school doing because it used
to be we out, we were out Thanksgiving week. Friday
would be our last day and we were out for
the week.
Speaker 2 (04:50):
And we came back a following Monday, Tuesday.
Speaker 5 (04:53):
We do have exams next week, but yeah, we're out
on they're doing nasty.
Speaker 3 (04:59):
They just this is they don't have to do all that.
They don't have to do all that. Y'all are one,
not you.
Speaker 2 (05:03):
But the school.
Speaker 3 (05:04):
You're the one that sits there and determines that calendar
and so many things have changed. I just heard our
president Trump is bringing Columbus Day back, so that's gonna
be a school day out next year, you know. So
you know, but y'all just doing doing, y'all putting so
much anxiety on these students, and they have enough to
worry about to get the projects in, making sure that
(05:26):
you know, the canvas is working so they can upload.
Speaker 2 (05:28):
And all that kind of stuff. Hey, thank you missed it.
Speaker 3 (05:31):
Good evening with them a win, yes, yes, yes, and prayerfully,
best of luck on a exam.
Speaker 2 (05:37):
Thinking Mickey, Mickey, yes, she she she's.
Speaker 3 (05:41):
Got a nice routine down and stuff like that. Kind
of remind me of myself a little bit, but she
get at it. She Oh, no, I got to study.
It's like, okay, all right, let's see you all right,
you know.
Speaker 2 (05:53):
But God is good. God is good, I tell you.
Speaker 3 (05:58):
I don't even know where to start, but I do
want to continue.
Speaker 2 (06:02):
We want to continue praying about Money's being released.
Speaker 3 (06:06):
I just saw I think it's just a minor tabloid
saying that Trump is not going to release anything until
next year.
Speaker 2 (06:13):
Now, the devil is a liar. He will be releasing
it this year. And I don't know what God's desires are,
but I know, my desire and some of our desires,
we want to get it before Thanksgiving, and all he
has to do is put it into law and just
you know, come to other armored trucks. Back it up.
Take this money to IRIS. Is going to be a
(06:34):
hard exam season and a station.
Speaker 5 (06:38):
A little bit. I mean, every well, all my other
exams has been pretty okay. It's just sometimes what they
require us to study is not on the exam, so
we kind of be you know, blindsided a little bit sometimes.
But yeah, and it's okay with their study guide structures
and stuff like that for the most part.
Speaker 6 (06:58):
Some of it is majority of it the test.
Speaker 3 (07:00):
But wow, her, when I was a college professor, whatever
I told you the first first few weeks, what we studied,
first few chapters, what we studied that would be on
your first exam. What we're gonna study next is going
to be on your mid term exam. In some cases
most of the time, I didn't even know. Because social
sciences it's similar to psychology. There's a lot of memorization,
(07:23):
a lot of terms. The theorists that you know propose
the terms.
Speaker 2 (07:29):
You know, it's a lot of that included.
Speaker 3 (07:31):
So I dare I don't think I ever really gave
an all inclusive final exam.
Speaker 2 (07:36):
I didn't think that was fair.
Speaker 3 (07:39):
So whatever we were studying on those last few chapters
right leading up to the final, that's what that's what
you studied. That's what the test testing material was. So
you know these these you know these schools, uh well,
some particular schools, some particular colleges. I mean you just
if I had my way, Yeah, you all wouldn't even
be in business because more anxiety. Lee was telling me
(08:01):
about accidents in the parking garage and all kinds of stuff.
Speaker 2 (08:04):
Kids are not even looking, they're just backing out and
all that kind of stuff, you know, and y'all are
imposing that you you, you professors are responsible, You teachers,
you presidents of the.
Speaker 3 (08:13):
Departments, you head of the departments and stuff, y'all, y'all
the calls.
Speaker 2 (08:17):
Of that, Hey La k Tennessee check it in, amen. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (08:23):
So, preferly getting back to the Taekwondo a c you know,
and and her organ her nonprofit stands for a Charity
Empowered to Save Souls is ACEE t s S. Preferly,
I'm I've already been talking to my medical team. I'm like,
this is not going away. You need to you know,
we're gonna be taking a look at my numbers and
(08:43):
making sure things are you know, inflammation is getting out
of me and stuff like that. But I said, I
got to get back. I got to get back, so
preferly next year this time. Well, I'm not sure if
we'll be on in October November, but you'll hear some
kind of way.
Speaker 2 (08:58):
Oh yeah, it's great with the Porto Rico, and I
brought back the goal.
Speaker 3 (09:01):
You know, doing something because I got I gotta get
back into it.
Speaker 2 (09:05):
That's my balancing piece of me. I gotta get back
to it.
Speaker 3 (09:10):
So but anyway, so continue to pray Continua bombard Heaven, okay,
because there's a whole lot of other stuff that needs
to be you know, ironed out and made sense, made
to make sense and and and.
Speaker 2 (09:23):
Voted on and all this kind of stuff.
Speaker 3 (09:25):
And now you possibly you got New Yorkers being encouraged
to move to Florida because the new governor's Muslim, of
the Muslim practice, And I'm like, oh Jesus, we don't
need we have no more room in Florida. If you're
coming to Orlando, the central Florida we.
Speaker 2 (09:39):
Have no more room. We are beyond the gold to reach, yes, ma'am, Yes, ma'am.
Speaker 3 (09:44):
Now we we don't have room. We're already people houses.
They're building houses on top of each other. Now in
the back room, going in the backyard, I could see,
you know, you could see the person in the kitchen
in their bathroom. No, we we have no more room
in central Florida. Now, if you want to go on
the outskirts of central Florida, Palm Beach County has no room.
You're heading south Miami for lorda, they bocam.
Speaker 2 (10:06):
They have no room. So don't come here. Stay on
the top half of you know, Tallahasset, Panama City, up
up that way, you know.
Speaker 3 (10:15):
But or go someplace else. Don't come to Florida. I mean,
we don't have nothing.
Speaker 2 (10:20):
And those people don't.
Speaker 3 (10:22):
Native New Yorkers don't drive most of the time. Now
you got to drive when you come to Florida.
Speaker 2 (10:27):
And then you can't act act ugly when you come
here because but anyway, yeah, but continue to bombard heaven,
believe in God.
Speaker 3 (10:36):
Like I said for me, I can speak for me
and my house, or we want the money before Thanksgiving.
I can't speak for everybody else. I'm not here telling
God what to do and how to do it. We're
just saying God, any day now, we know that you
can do it, and I want it from a bigger
pot of money, because there's two big pots of money
out there that they found extra money for so and
there'll be enough to throw at the terror, I mean,
(10:57):
our deficit.
Speaker 2 (10:58):
So there, I got that off my chest.
Speaker 3 (11:01):
But anyway, tonight we want to talk about uh, you know,
a Family and Guardian Caregivers Month, and hats off to anybody.
I my heart goes out to people who adopt children
because we turn out okay, and uh, we're a little different,
but you know, with love and care and that you
(11:21):
want us, you know, it makes a difference. And then
you may have to get us into some counseling too,
because there's a hole. And kids that are in foster
care there is a hole because they feel that they've
been abandoned, they've been rejected. There is a hole and
the devil will play on that. And you know, especially
when you've got kids out there being you know, shuffled
(11:42):
from home to home and you know, and stuff like that,
and people going into foster care just to get a
check and all that kind of nonsense. And we're gonna,
I'm telling you what, hopefully with the old hauls that
are coming on all major systems, we're gonna it's gonna
be eradicated. It's gonna be cut out. I'm telling you,
it is going to be cut out. So but we got,
(12:02):
you know, we've got caregivers in all kinds of categories.
We've got those of us who have aging parents that
that we take care of, whether you live with them
or not. We've got, of course, you know of the
foster care system. We've got the representative payee system. When
you've got that loved one that you know can't handle
(12:24):
their money, so you go Social Security will make you
the representative payee so on their checks.
Speaker 2 (12:29):
That will be deposited in their account. It's a joint account.
Speaker 3 (12:35):
We've got all kinds of And I don't know why
the Lord had me to I sat back and because
the rest of the title of the show is National
Family and Guardian Caregivers Month Poland when caring and self
care cross contaminates. When caring and self care crosses, because
most of the time, most of your caregivers don't care,
(12:58):
don't take care of themselves.
Speaker 2 (13:00):
Most of the.
Speaker 3 (13:01):
Time, even if you've got another sibling in the family,
they don't come to your rescue. They get as far
away as they can because they don't want to be
bothered until the person unfortunately passes away, and if there's
any type of excuse me, asset are left over, then.
Speaker 2 (13:18):
They show up.
Speaker 3 (13:19):
And I got a problem with that, But nevertheless, I
had to protect our family home and things like that
from my family member and other family members who knew
that my mom at Alzheimer's and would not remember that
they were there earlier in the day stealing stuff out
of our home. My hats off to those who take
(13:40):
on that responsibility. At the same time, you've got to
take care of yourself. They need to assure kids and
foster care that they are loved and no matter what
they matter.
Speaker 2 (13:49):
You're absolutely right missing, You're absolutely right. They need to.
Speaker 3 (13:52):
Okay, yeah, they You're absolutely right. And that's the last
thing that we were thinking about as a As a child,
you want to you know, you're hoping you're watching u
people coming in and your roommate is going to the office,
and then your roommate is packed up the suitcase and
then they're gone.
Speaker 2 (14:12):
Because they get it.
Speaker 3 (14:13):
They're getting to be placed and then they're getting to
put the the adoption is going forward, and you know,
you know, I was watching something and uh, hello, hey,
elijanis Tennessee. Uh you got to let you know, these
folks that's been in these systems know that you care.
(14:33):
At the same time that it would be helpful to
get them therapy. So if you're already in front of
the judge, you know, trying to get the process you
need to, it would be good to have the judge
to put it in writing in the court order actually
that they could get eight weeks of counseling at some
point as soon as possible, because it's hard to explain
(14:54):
I'm looking at thinking I was looking at something on Facebook.
All these all of the school you know, teachers teaching
in middle and elementary schools are quitting and they're crying
because they said, the kids are out of control.
Speaker 2 (15:06):
We just don't.
Speaker 3 (15:07):
Understand whether this anger is coming from, whether this disrespect
is coming from.
Speaker 2 (15:12):
And there's a whole lot to answer to that. There's
a whole lot not saying that those kids were in
shelters or whatever the case may be, that some of
those kids are living in their cars with their parents.
They're living in their vehicles. They're maybe going from shelter
to shelter. Right now, we got a lot of motel
living right now. People are in.
Speaker 3 (15:31):
Motels and they go from motel to motel, and I'm like, ohm,
like I can't I can't even imagine that. But I
know that once upon a time, when I was married
to my second husband, I'm like, I want I should
have gone to I wanted to go to a shelter,
but my oldest son was like over twelve years old,
and shelters are not gonna take male children over twelve.
Speaker 2 (15:53):
So I knew that already. And so you know, you
just you suffer it. You suffer it.
Speaker 3 (16:00):
I suffered in silence, but you know it came out, Okay.
Now everybody have those opportunities. I did go live with
this lady one week and she well, two weeks. I
think we're with her two weeks. And this lady was
from you know where, and it was just like she
was just weirded out.
Speaker 2 (16:16):
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (16:16):
I thought she was just nice. Met her at a
PTA meeting. She was always friendly and stuff like that.
And then I'm like, well, you know, I have to
get out of my home and you know, leaving my
husband and I got to take my kids. And she goes, well, coming,
you know, I've got a hold a big screen porch.
You can come and you know, stay there. And I'm like, okay,
So I transferred the cable to her house and you know,
next thing, she's like, you're welcome to anything. I said, well,
(16:39):
we're not going to, you know, do that most of
the time. We'll probably eat out or whatever. I don't
want to inconvenience you and your son and stuff. Next thing,
I know, she.
Speaker 2 (16:47):
Taking step out the shelves of the cabinets and putting
it up and no conversation. But it's like, oh I
thought we could have oh it's not up there, okay,
and she would cut the lights out of it. Was
it was, it was, it was, And I said, God,
you got to get me out of here. If I
have to have to take.
Speaker 3 (17:04):
My son back to Palm Beach, let him stay with
his dad and me and the twins we just go
to a shelter. At this point, this lady crazy, and
I don't know what's gonna happen next.
Speaker 2 (17:15):
And the Lord opened up a door for my neighbor.
Speaker 3 (17:17):
Said hey, there's a condo for rent and when and
you know that day and after work, I broke my
neck getting there. Met with the property man, the manager
of the of the condo and managers, the owner's representatives,
and I'm like, I need to move now. And I
didn't tell her to the last minute. Oh we're gone,
We're out of here. And she helped my furniture ransom
(17:40):
because I had my couch and something a couple of
other piece. She held a ransom and then I had
to text her say you know what you're forgiving. And
then she allowed my husband to come and pick up stuff.
And I'm like, oh my god, Jesus helped me. So
it's weird situations. I can I can't imagine when people
have to make that decision. They got to move out,
they're being evicted, they gotta you know, you.
Speaker 2 (18:03):
Look at what are my options here?
Speaker 3 (18:05):
And you know, and your caregiving, especially if you're a
parent of you know, children, no matter their age, your child.
Speaker 2 (18:12):
Is disabled, you're disabled.
Speaker 3 (18:16):
It's a lot, but it does cross because you forget
to take care of yourself. You're so busy trying to
take care of that loved one or your children or whoever,
and you lose sight of you and you're exhausted at
the end of the night, you know, So you were
(18:37):
here to tell you got to take care of yourself.
And we talk about self care all the time, and
it comes in all kinds of shades and shame, you know,
shapes and colors, and everybody and culture and everybody's situation
is different. But you've got to keep moving, You've got
to utilize resources, you've got to ask questions.
Speaker 2 (18:57):
And sometimes you don't want people in your business. I
get that, besore. Sometimes you have to let people get
in your business so that you could take care of
what you can take care of and take care of yourself.
Take care of yourself. You know, anybody wants jumping here now.
Speaker 4 (19:10):
I mean, I think you pretty much said, you know,
set a mouth full. I mean, but it is, it's
like it's like the art of caregiving, you know, And
so many of my peers either work caregivers are still caregiving,
and it's it's a never ending job. And so I
(19:31):
think people don't realize the smallest things that that could
be beneficial, like someone fixing a dish for you, or
someone taking your trash out, or someone just sitting with
your loved one five ten, fifteen minutes while you just
have a break, or someone just offering to help you
(19:52):
straighten up, you know, just the it's the little things
that that can mean so much. And I think when
you're at that point, sometimes you don't don't know where
to turn, you know.
Speaker 2 (20:02):
I was fortunately I did have siblings that would help.
Speaker 4 (20:05):
You know, we had like a role that we played,
but it still was, you know, difficult, you know because
sometimes you especially with a parent, you have to remember
that's your parent, but sometimes you have to make decisions
that that they become your child and it's it's not comfortable,
but pretty much for their best interests. And so I I,
(20:26):
you know, I find out resources. You know, just look
at it now, if you're seeing yourself headed that way,
potentially headed.
Speaker 6 (20:34):
That way, just find out who who your supports is.
Speaker 4 (20:37):
And I have close friends and and family that I
could could talk to as well when when you get tired.
Speaker 2 (20:44):
And so it's the small things that mean a whole lot.
It really does. So, but it is self care.
Speaker 4 (20:51):
You have to can't find out what resources your your
you're you're you're entitled to. Some people don't know what
they're entitled to, and my dad was a that and
so I was very fortunate. Sometimes other vets would see
me in the VA with my dad and they said,
you're the caregiver.
Speaker 2 (21:07):
You know you can get this. They're not gonna tell.
Speaker 4 (21:09):
You that, ask about this, that and the other. So
it became like wow, you know, it's like a support system.
So find out from other people that are caregivers what
resources are out there.
Speaker 2 (21:20):
Makes a big difference. Amen. Amen, And you got to
go back.
Speaker 3 (21:24):
You know the fifth commandment honor thy mother, thy father,
that that days may be long. It doesn't mean that
you're to be taking for granted. You know, you know,
you don't go through craziness and stuff like that, but
you can still honor them and give by giving them
the best that you can.
Speaker 2 (21:39):
And sometimes, you know, I've always shared, you know I've
shared before.
Speaker 3 (21:43):
The hardest thing for me was to I had to
place my mom in the nursing home.
Speaker 2 (21:47):
I had no choice. I had nobody to help me.
Speaker 3 (21:50):
The neighbors couldn't get over the fact that she was
hallucinating and stuff like that, like you.
Speaker 2 (21:55):
She don't talk like that.
Speaker 3 (21:56):
I said, well, I'm trying to tell you, and I
don't know what they were thinking. Her baby's just it
was thinking, you know, they just take You know, I
know what I'm talking about. And I know you can't
imagine your loved one, you know, going that to that
far extream. And then my aunt Betty, when I was
getting married the first time, came and said, well, i'll
take her.
Speaker 2 (22:13):
We'll take her back to Georgia with us.
Speaker 3 (22:15):
Just go ahead and pack her up. We'll take her back.
And I said, now, and Betty, I'm telling you now,
you've got she's she imagines things, she hallucinates, and there's
a little girl that she swears that she's looking at
in the mirror that's taking her things and dressing like her.
Speaker 2 (22:30):
Oh girl, please, you know, quein't gonna be a fire.
We're gonna put her. Get off there in these trees.
Speaker 3 (22:35):
When I went to get her five months later, because
she went three months later, she wouldn't let her go.
And her daughter calls me from another state, said, well,
I take care of my mother.
Speaker 2 (22:44):
You need to take care of you. I said, you
tell your mama to let my mother go. And I
hung up the phone. We got told my husband, let's
go rented the car. She didn't even know we were coming.
Speaker 3 (22:52):
I drove through the night to get to Georgia, and
I stopped because I wasn't sure what hell was hers.
I said, Betty, I'm here here down street. Which of
these streets do I turn down? And it's a hell?
Oh well, I didn't Which street do I turn down?
I'm not here to talk to you. I'm here to
get my mother. So you tell your daughter to leave
(23:12):
me alone, because I could go to Carolina. Now, don't
tell me I'm not taking care of my mother. And
my aunt was getting money from my uncle to take
care of my mom. I was sitting my mom's whole
social Security check up there, came out of pocket for
her medications, and my uncle sending her five six hundred dollars.
I didn't know nothing about it, you know, so a
little crazy ist that when I got there, Guys, my
(23:33):
aunt was the queen of figurines. She's the queen of figurines.
There's a little everything. When I got there, there was
none to be seen, and the mirrors in the hall
and the bedroom were covered up. And all her husband
could say to me is you got hell on your hands?
I said, no, I don't you taking care of that.
This is nothing to me.
Speaker 2 (23:53):
So let me go and pack my mother up. We're gone.
We're gone.
Speaker 3 (23:56):
So nobody likes to believe you. So there's that rejection,
you know. And I never talked to my aunt again.
I barely made it. I barely went to the funeral.
God had to talk to me. But nevertheless that my
mom had already passed. But you know, and then on
the biological side, you know, my thing is, and I'm
gonna I'm not gonna go into that, but my thing is,
if you've got an adult parent still living.
Speaker 2 (24:18):
They're your responsibility. It's not about your relationships anymore. It's
past that. If you can lend a helping hand, you can.
You know, if your sister is the one.
Speaker 3 (24:28):
That's living with your mom or living with that loved one,
you take food over there once a week, you go
over there and you cook for food, cook. I mean,
come on, we all got stories, we all got trauma
that we've been through. Everybody living has been through trauma.
Just a baby coming into this world is traumatized. So
let's get past it. Not even got new buzzwords. Let's
get past that. Now, what do I what can I
(24:50):
do to help? But I made sure.
Speaker 2 (24:52):
That even though I had to place my mom in
a nursing home, I made sure those people knew.
Speaker 3 (24:57):
You don't know when I'm gonna show up. You don't
you know when I'm coming through to be on my
lunch break. It could be at eight o'clock at night,
eleven o'clock at night.
Speaker 2 (25:06):
You don't know. And I'm walking through. I don't even
sign in. I'm going to check on my mom, even
though she hadn't called my name out so I cannot.
I'm at peace. Go ahead, not just.
Speaker 4 (25:17):
At a disclaimer too, because I remember before my dad,
This was years before he had passed, but he got
real sick and went to the hospital and then they
released him to rehab. And before we went to rehab,
I was checking with people to find out which is
the better one, because you know, you hear horror stories.
And so I asked one of my girlfriends, whose sister
(25:38):
was a geriatric nurse, and she told her to tell me,
I don't care if you're paying the most or the
least all of me. He said, you got to show
up at him. He said, you don't come on out,
You comeing out unannounced. Different times of the day and night,
so you could see for yourself. Let other people come
in there to come and see for themselves, he said,
(25:58):
because everybody's not going.
Speaker 2 (26:00):
To care for your loved one the way you will.
Speaker 4 (26:02):
So, like you said, she said, I don't care how
good of rating that the place got or how low,
you still have to go in and checkcuse me, periodically
check on your loved one. And so yeah, unfortunately a
lot of people are in there for just for the money.
Speaker 2 (26:20):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (26:21):
Yeah, and you've got to check, you know, you got
I know, my baby is telling me a lot that
you know. While I was in the hospital, she came
up every day. She came up every day. You are
already told her her teachers.
Speaker 2 (26:31):
Look, I got to keep my phone on because they
could call me any moment. I got to keep my
phone on.
Speaker 3 (26:36):
I'll step out of the class if you got a
problem with it, you know, and talk with other residents
there as well. Yeah, mickey, Yeah, make friends with the
other residents, you know, let them, you know, and if
they if you see that nobody's coming to visit them,
you know, it's nothing to bring.
Speaker 2 (26:50):
Them a little whatnot a little you know.
Speaker 3 (26:52):
I'm just thank you for looking out for you know,
for my you know, for my mom or my dad
and my auntie.
Speaker 2 (26:57):
Thank you so much for that.
Speaker 3 (26:58):
Yeah, you can check with the check talk with the
other residents and stuff.
Speaker 2 (27:01):
But I walk through. I'd get it. I'd do a tour.
Speaker 3 (27:04):
I didn't have time to do a tour, but you know,
I had to place her and I just did it
because it was safety issues and all kinds of stuff.
Speaker 2 (27:11):
But I walked through that place.
Speaker 3 (27:13):
I would walk through the cafeteria, I'd go to the
physical therapy area.
Speaker 2 (27:18):
I look at the little pool outside, you know. Yeah,
I walked through there. Then I go visit my mom
or I go visit her, and then I come back out.
Then I did my own tour. Let me see what's new.
Speaker 3 (27:28):
While these my mom's clothes are missing, what's going on
their labels?
Speaker 2 (27:32):
I know what they look like. You need to replace them.
That that stopped. That stopped.
Speaker 3 (27:36):
I said, you know what, I'm gonna wash my mom's clothes. Yeah,
I'll wash them and I'll bring them back.
Speaker 2 (27:41):
I'm good. You know, just little things like that.
Speaker 3 (27:44):
And at the same time, you know your child, you know,
your little one going to school and stuff like you know,
you talk with that teacher. You know, you know your child,
be honest, be honest, help my mom to take care
of my dad. I had to put my mom in
a nursing care. It was very hard. I was blessed
to have a good crew.
Speaker 2 (28:01):
But I did like I did like it, showed up anytime,
all the time.
Speaker 3 (28:06):
Thank you all the ka men. And I'm gonna tell
you always check things out. Too many bad stories going
on in some of those places. Yeah, and I'm telling
you years later, your mind is at peace because when
you could look back and you could tell your flesh,
your flesh, you know, the little devil on your shoulder,
Oh you could have done better.
Speaker 2 (28:23):
Oh you shouldn't put your mother in a nursing home.
You know you as a social worker, you shouldn't have No,
the devil is a liar.
Speaker 3 (28:29):
She had the best care. I made sure of it,
and it was for her better good. And guess what,
God is honoring me.
Speaker 2 (28:36):
He's honoring his word.
Speaker 3 (28:38):
My days are gonna be long, and I'm gonna be healthy,
and I have great memories of my mom.
Speaker 2 (28:43):
I'd tell my kids all the time.
Speaker 3 (28:44):
I wish they they lived, were able to live long
enough for y'all to see them, because y'all wouldn't be
doing nothing. They were just being head over heels happy
to have grandkids, you know, so you know, and they
would have been up here with me.
Speaker 2 (28:57):
You know. My husband thought he was doing something like,
you know what, gonna take my mom.
Speaker 3 (29:01):
I'm like, yeah, but trust me, if my either one
of my parents have been living, they been moving to
Orlando with me, trust me, trust me, we wouldn't have
a two story, we didn't have a condo with stairs. No,
our housing situation would be totally different. So take care
of your mother. You take care of her. Them ain't
got nothing to do with me. She like the gossip
and talk about me. I ain't got nothing to do
with it.
Speaker 2 (29:19):
You take care of her anyway. That's a whole different story.
I'm sorry.
Speaker 5 (29:27):
I was going to bring up though, like, although I
don't really have experience of being a caregiver anyway, but
I do, I mean temporarily.
Speaker 6 (29:35):
I guess you could.
Speaker 2 (29:35):
Say you almost had seven years of experience, right.
Speaker 6 (29:40):
Not too much. Well, I wanted to literate caregiving, but.
Speaker 5 (29:44):
Ability to take care of my mother if she can't
take care of herself.
Speaker 2 (29:48):
But I was a very good job.
Speaker 3 (29:49):
What'd you say, I said, you did a very good job.
You know, how to keep people away from me. She
wouldn't let people come just roll on. You could, Oh,
well maybe we can start.
Speaker 2 (29:57):
No, ma'am, No, she's not taking visitors my baby.
Speaker 3 (30:01):
Yeah, but you don't.
Speaker 6 (30:05):
You wouldn't even want to either.
Speaker 2 (30:08):
No, you don't be and you're like, I don't want
to be bothered. No, you don't need to come up here.
Speaker 5 (30:13):
It's important to have balance during that time because I
was in high school, and I mean I already had
a set schedule of doing my work, making sure I'm
doing my work, intending to my mom. That was literally
my to do list, tending to her anything she needed,
food wise, whatever the case may be, driving her somewhere,
And to this day, she still want me to drive
for somewhere, even though she's completely capable.
Speaker 2 (30:34):
Guys don't be able to go back.
Speaker 5 (30:38):
You've been trying to finesse me because she would literally
like we're going somewhere together.
Speaker 6 (30:41):
She'd be like, you're driving.
Speaker 5 (30:43):
She knows to ask me right before we leave if
I'm driving, to make me feel bad for her driving.
Speaker 2 (30:49):
Like audience disregard that. No, we're not all out because
bage of this little thing over here.
Speaker 6 (30:57):
But anyways, because she gets we got to go.
Speaker 2 (31:01):
She you know, she don't play the radio.
Speaker 5 (31:04):
Who said, well, anyway, she's still trying to control my driving.
Lead you to the course to the corner. I'm not
whatever she sees. She's right anyways. But yes, it's important
to have balance and assess schedule.
Speaker 2 (31:20):
But uh.
Speaker 6 (31:29):
Yeah, when she got rid of and she.
Speaker 2 (31:30):
Had a little fellow too at the time too, so
she gave me all that and order who was driving
that little fellow that could make sure she come up
to get to the hospital and stuff. Oh well, of
course I just wanted to add talk about balance. Why
are you.
Speaker 6 (31:45):
Anyways? Yes, it's very important.
Speaker 5 (31:48):
And when she did get rid of the nurses, because
she does not like anybody in her space. You know,
it was our responsibility to tend to her and everything
that and I would do it all over again.
Speaker 6 (31:58):
So I love my mother.
Speaker 5 (31:59):
So therefore you just finding bayless and finding time for
yourself as well, because I'm a workaholic, so as long
as I'm working, I'm perfectly fine. So therefore it was
just a job to always do and I enjoyed it.
Speaker 6 (32:11):
So just find time for.
Speaker 5 (32:13):
Yourself in between and again, like Miss Tray said, the
little things.
Speaker 6 (32:17):
Really matter, like literally, the little things.
Speaker 5 (32:19):
Just you going outside to breathe, being with nature, just
like the little things is very important.
Speaker 6 (32:25):
But that's what I wanted to add it.
Speaker 3 (32:26):
Yeah, find free things to do and going to pick
up medication and grocery shopping is not what we're talking about.
That is not self care. Okay, that's mandatory, that's part
of life. No, we're talking about you saying if somebody
come up and say, hey, you know what, I got
two hours to spare on Friday afternoon, you go ahead
and do what you want to do. I can come
(32:47):
in and watch, you know.
Speaker 2 (32:49):
You know, oh sorry, that's okay. One of the things too,
that was helpful.
Speaker 4 (32:54):
So I remember, you know, in the process of care,
my niece was saying, Andrey, why don't you get a
blink camera system? And so she's all you do is
plug it in the wall and you're able to and
have Wi Fi and you're able.
Speaker 2 (33:07):
To see my daughter.
Speaker 7 (33:08):
And so a camera system and when I tell you,
it made the world of difference because I was able
to aim the camera at my dad.
Speaker 2 (33:27):
You could talk through it. I can hear him if.
Speaker 4 (33:29):
He talked yeah, and I and I would positioning right
beside where he was sleeping or sitting and we just
could check on him. So and you can zoom in
and anytime you can record. And so we had strategically
placed in the house so we could see you know,
the front door, the back door, you know, someone moving about,
you know, making sure that they weren't going upstairs. So
that is something that really and like I said, literally
(33:51):
just plugged it in the wall. And and they're small, small,
not that big at all, And that was a godsend.
Speaker 2 (33:59):
So I can see him throughout the night, call down,
check on him.
Speaker 4 (34:02):
And then I also had like a baby monitor too
as well that I can hear, you know, which helped.
So some of the things will give you a little
peace of mind when you're out and about or.
Speaker 2 (34:15):
And there's other systems out there.
Speaker 4 (34:17):
I'm just I want my girlfriend, she uses something else,
but she's able to talk or communicate or dollar mother
or something like that. But yeah, it's some devices out
that will really give you a little peace of mind.
So if you just want to step away thirty minutes
or hour, that will give you some kind of sense,
a piece of mind, and you can be able to
see if you have to call now on one or
something like that. But that is something I would suggest
(34:39):
to caregivers as well.
Speaker 3 (34:42):
There's equipment out there. I definitely agree with you about
the piece that God gives you when you take care
of your mother. I pray some of these young people
get it. Honor your parents as God commands us. Yes,
elder elder janeis thank you. You're right, because this younger generator,
they don't get it. They're missing out on it. I
don't understand. I ran into another mother that's just having
a problem with her daughter. I mean, just like you
(35:03):
almost hate your daughter, and I don't get that. Some
of these parents I don't know because if because they
had the baby young or the baby and one.
Speaker 2 (35:12):
Young lady, I said, do you look like your dad?
She goes yeah. I said, okay.
Speaker 3 (35:15):
The mom mad at that at the X and so
you're taking it out on an adult child.
Speaker 2 (35:21):
That makes no. I don't understand that.
Speaker 3 (35:24):
Because that child will have to enter and take care
of you, and they can make the decision not to.
There's no law that says that we have to take
care of our aging parents.
Speaker 2 (35:32):
There's no law.
Speaker 3 (35:34):
So you're on your you know, y'all, you got to
step back and say, you know what, let me get
my Why am I having a problem with this child?
I don't understand it myself, But why am I having
a problem now with my mom?
Speaker 2 (35:44):
When I turned sixteen, I.
Speaker 3 (35:45):
Was looking more like my biological mother, and my mom,
I don't know what was going through a mind. And
I just came to her and I said, Mom, I'm
working part time, I'm in high school. Can I go
ahead and take over my insurance my curR insurance bill?
Speaker 2 (35:59):
Well, I don't know what you want to do that. No, Mom,
I'm just taking that responsibility off of you and dad.
Speaker 3 (36:04):
That's all I'm driving now. I'm driving my sister to school.
You know, that's our car. I can afford to do it.
I don't know why, she just but I was. As
I was getting older, I'm looking more like my biological mother,
and she just had a problem with that. And so
we weren't as close as my dad and I were closer.
You know, I was a daddy's girl, but my mom
(36:24):
just was ess. But I ended up, you know, my
dad passed away before she did, and I ended up,
you know, and there was no brainer.
Speaker 2 (36:31):
I'm gonna take care of my mother. That's my mom,
you know.
Speaker 3 (36:33):
But other folks on the some of my biological families
keep forgetting that I had parents that took me off
your hands. Never asked you for a dime, went to
private school, which I had to pay double tuition because
I was not Catholic.
Speaker 2 (36:50):
They never asked you for anything. But now you're looking
at me like I'm supposed to take care of somebody. No,
I did mine.
Speaker 3 (36:56):
I did my tour, both my mother and my father.
You you, you're gonna be all right now. But but
if God ever tells me I'm flipping the script now,
I need you to step in. I'm there because I
already know what I would do. I already know I
know resources, you know. But at the end of the day,
and God did tell.
Speaker 2 (37:15):
Me, you know, you don't have to say that anymore
because He's gonna take care of that. But I took
care of my parents. I've done.
Speaker 3 (37:21):
I've got receipts, I got scars too. So but I
hope and pray that I've raised my kids. That's the
one thing I didn't want that to fall on them,
that they have to take care of me.
Speaker 2 (37:31):
At an early earlier age, So that's one thing.
Speaker 3 (37:34):
Going through all of this where your parents were led
to the family they adopted you from. Yes, Anna Stagia,
My mom and my biological mother are distant cousins.
Speaker 2 (37:41):
They're about thirty years apart. They were thirty years apart.
We never interacted with that family. That was really weird.
Speaker 3 (37:47):
They had family reviews, they never invited my moms. But
when my biological.
Speaker 2 (37:51):
Mother had my older brother, her mother tells her, go
to Palm.
Speaker 3 (37:55):
Beach, you get better paying jobs, and you send money
back this young man for this boy. And then she
got pregnant and while living with my mom and her
between my mom and her sisters, and then my parents
could not have children, and so she asked, you want
a baby, and they said, yeah, we want her. And
then I don't think they knew what I was until
I came out. My mom and dad came and got
(38:16):
me the next day, and I was a great. I
will always be a great. And I think I shared
this with you all. I've got a cousin over in Jacksonville.
She's a nurse are in.
Speaker 2 (38:25):
We looked just alike. No blood between us, two brothers kids.
Speaker 3 (38:29):
So God was saying, if I never wanted to tell
anybody the secret was safe. But I hold the lives
of the DNA of three families. I always will, I
could die tomorrow, I will always. And I'm the only
one named my biological name.
Speaker 2 (38:44):
No one has named their child my name on all
the three families, so I'm a little special. So you
can't tell me. Then, I'm just joking. God is good.
That's only God.
Speaker 3 (38:55):
Only God could do that, like I said, and I
we got the four. I got the great forehead, I
got the great nose.
Speaker 2 (39:00):
Look like a grain. You wouldn't. You couldn't. She's thinner
than I am, and she wears contacts now, but we
woke wear glasses and stuff. And I introduced her. I
took the twins over.
Speaker 3 (39:11):
I'm thinking I think Don went with us too to
meet them years ago. And and then and I was
just leaning on the table like this, like my daughter
is saying, Oh my God, y'all looked just alike.
Speaker 2 (39:24):
So God is that precious. He's that precious.
Speaker 3 (39:27):
And you know, I've.
Speaker 2 (39:31):
Been so blessed, so blessed, and I won't take nothing.
You know, They're part of my story. They're part of
who I am.
Speaker 3 (39:38):
And everything I did go through and everything, all that stuff.
Speaker 2 (39:41):
You look back. The song says, my soul looked back and.
Speaker 3 (39:44):
Wonder how I got over Your flesh looks back and
all the heck you've been through, all the distrust and
the rejection, and oh my god, and we can't. We're
having lima bean soup three nights in a row and
all this stuff.
Speaker 2 (40:00):
We get our hand me downs and oh we got
to go to seas.
Speaker 3 (40:03):
We got to go to goodwill and shop and that's
what we you know, we go to the food bank.
Speaker 2 (40:07):
Your soul will look back and wonder how you got
your flesh your mind? Yes, thank you, missy. That's real.
It's real. I talk about my pinion. I talk about that, yes,
and I'm glad. I've met a lot of people who've
been adopted, and it's a it's a fifty to fifty
They once someone say, oh, I wanted to meet my parents,
the others say, I don't ever want to meet it.
Speaker 3 (40:29):
And it's okay. I'm glad I met mine. I wasn't
trying to get involved in it, get in the family.
I was just trying to see what who's got this
medical history that I was being played with.
Speaker 2 (40:39):
I had to go to the to the to.
Speaker 3 (40:40):
The source which side of the family just came from
and finding out it came from both sides.
Speaker 2 (40:45):
But I didn't have to I've never had to have surgery.
I never had to have medication because I prayed and said, God,
please remove this big a cup from me and Jesus name,
And if I ever have a daughter, don't let it,
don't let it be be store upon her the power
of prayer. If I could say anything else, that's the
I can't if I can't prove anything else. Prayer changes
(41:08):
of thing. Prayer changes a thing.
Speaker 3 (41:12):
You have to pray strategically as specifically, stop these willing
nearly prayer.
Speaker 2 (41:17):
Oh God, And this is another. This is gonna trip
you up. God.
Speaker 3 (41:20):
If it's your will, it is his will, because guess
what he put it in you? Where you get that,
where you get that from?
Speaker 2 (41:25):
He put it in you. He said, well, I knew
you before your mother's womb knew you.
Speaker 3 (41:29):
You know, that's my favorite. And Jeremiah, when God said
I knew you before Gerald Dinifelter ever met that?
Speaker 2 (41:35):
That you who can't love a God like that, who
can't love Jesus like that? The Holy Spirit? He knew
me before he placed me.
Speaker 3 (41:45):
And I'm I'm I'm gonna deny him.
Speaker 2 (41:48):
Please tell him, and I tell my kids, y'all weren't adopted.
All of y'all came through I'm through me in the
right all the time. All right, all right? But but
who do they trust? God? Don't come to me. I
gave you to God the moment I can hold you
in the room. They yours. Thank you. Let me steward them,
(42:10):
Let me be who they need to be. I need
to be for them. But they're yours. They're yours because
I know prayer, changes of things.
Speaker 3 (42:19):
That's all I know. That's all I know. And I
was having this conversation with myself yesterday. I said, I
don't know why, but I had this. You know what,
Let's say, what if and I've said this before on
the show, what if they prove that God.
Speaker 2 (42:31):
Really doesn't exist?
Speaker 3 (42:32):
Jesus hold the Spirit just all been one non fiction,
fictitious fiction story, and all these people mentioned in these
sixty six chapters in this one book really didn't exist. Well,
I've got some miracles, I've got some testimony that you
can't nobody could create that, nobody can make that happen,
(42:53):
and don't just fall out the sky to.
Speaker 2 (42:55):
Prove you wrong. And I'll stand on my faith.
Speaker 3 (42:59):
You can't tell me nothing about God Jesus in the
Holy Spirit because for everything your.
Speaker 2 (43:04):
Little down you know.
Speaker 3 (43:05):
And I'm not talking to my viewers that we love
you all, I'm not talking.
Speaker 2 (43:09):
I'm talking to those who are peeping, who are trolling.
You can't say nothing about my God, and guess what,
you can't do nothing to me, my co host, my
IT person, my viewers are nothing because I rebuke you
in the name of Jesus. Keep playing, keep playing. You
got the right one. You got the right one.
Speaker 3 (43:28):
I protect mine. And I'm not talking about my kids.
I'm talking about my co hosts. I'm talking about my
IT my producer that you don't see. Most of y'all
know who she is, but she's oh no, come. I
promise you that that young lady ever called me and
tell me somebody doing stupid. I'm on the next thing smoking.
I promise you. I can ride a plane now.
Speaker 2 (43:50):
Nothing is enough, fab and you could be blood if
you want to. You can be fab. I will check you. You
lean these people along because these people trying there trying. Amen.
Thank you, Jay Dennis. Yeah, and if you don't want
none of this, it's fine too, because my Jesus had
to train Judas knowing what he had to do. So
(44:12):
all you all are doing is completing my story.
Speaker 3 (44:14):
Let's go, let's go, but we're here to stay. We're
gonna do what we got to do. We're reaching the God,
letting God do. God is reaching and had nothing to
do with us. We're just wiling vessels. We're just willing vessels,
and we're gonna still do it. We'll still do it.
I don't know where that came from, but talking to you.
Speaker 2 (44:35):
Hey, that's prayer warrior. There go get.
Speaker 3 (44:44):
Yes, please, don't don't get don't think you know three
minutes we got two minutes out. Don't please don't please
don't leave them alone, leave them alone, leave them alone.
Speaker 2 (44:54):
Uh, don't go there. You have to ever worry those
who are listening. You've been faithful to us. You being faithful,
and you pray or we got God's got you covered,
a hedge of protection. Your ages are all on fleet.
Just go after God though. That's all because yeah, we're
heading to a recession. Guys. I didn't want to get
into that, but you know feeling it coming so true.
Speaker 3 (45:15):
Amen, hesion we're heading to the unknown, unlike ever before.
Speaker 2 (45:19):
You got to hold on to him, hold on to it,
hold on to Jesus, cry out.
Speaker 3 (45:25):
Have your gospel music, your Christian music ready, just blaring.
Speaker 2 (45:29):
Let it blare.
Speaker 3 (45:30):
That car cuts in front of you. God, please be
with them. Don't let them inconvenience me today. Don't let
me have road rage inside of my car because nobody
can hear me, because I don't know what they're going
through now. We don't know what the world is going through.
Speaker 2 (45:43):
Now. I know the world is opened back up and
everything else.
Speaker 3 (45:46):
It is not going to be business as usual because
the powers that be behind the scenes are already cutting
stuff out, already eliminating stuff, making new laws, making new rules.
Ain't checking with the voters at all. Way, It's almost
our time, Thanksgiving this next week. We'll see you next Monday. Now,
we promise make sure y'all come back, same time, same station.
Speaker 2 (46:09):
Got back by
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Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
Betrayal: Weekly
Betrayal Weekly is back for a brand new season. Every Thursday, Betrayal Weekly shares first-hand accounts of broken trust, shocking deceptions, and the trail of destruction they leave behind. Hosted by Andrea Gunning, this weekly ongoing series digs into real-life stories of betrayal and the aftermath. From stories of double lives to dark discoveries, these are cautionary tales and accounts of resilience against all odds. From the producers of the critically acclaimed Betrayal series, Betrayal Weekly drops new episodes every Thursday. Please join our Substack for additional exclusive content, curated book recommendations and community discussions. Sign up FREE by clicking this link Beyond Betrayal Substack. Join our community dedicated to truth, resilience and healing. Your voice matters! Be a part of our Betrayal journey on Substack. And make sure to check out Seasons 1-4 of Betrayal, along with Betrayal Weekly Season 1.