July 10, 2025 • 35 mins
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Night wherever time they're listening to this on I'm back again.
We're live. It's five. I'm in the studio apartment in Queens,
New York. Right, know what it is. I'm with my
I'm with my special guests. Tell me who you are, sir?
Speaker 2 (00:17):
Yeah, So my name is Stephen Panis. I'm an author,
sports marketing executive and father.
Speaker 1 (00:24):
Okay, okay, as you can tell. I just got to decide.
I'm sweating. It's hot. My fans isn't doing crap to
help that? Yeah? Man, how did they go in? It's good?
Speaker 3 (00:38):
Yeah, it's good.
Speaker 1 (00:39):
Good.
Speaker 3 (00:39):
How about you?
Speaker 1 (00:40):
It might is fine, very productive. Got a bunch of
errands done, I'm saying, just talk about talked about the
professional guests I have later on this big this come
from Parado. Stay tuned with that about you anything in particular.
Just relaxed all day.
Speaker 3 (00:55):
Yeah, just a regular Wednesday.
Speaker 1 (00:57):
Okay, like that?
Speaker 3 (00:58):
Like that?
Speaker 1 (01:00):
So well, quick right with say left him again? I
want to get wrong, I'm sorry.
Speaker 3 (01:05):
Yeah, So it's Stephen Panis.
Speaker 1 (01:08):
Stephen Pannis. I remember Stephen Panis. Okay, so I have here.
You are an author, You're an author? Right, that's correct
about that?
Speaker 3 (01:18):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (01:18):
So I wrote a book that was published last April.
It's called walk On. It was featured by Good Morning
America as one of their book Club Buzz selections, and
most recently was honored with as an Eric Hoffer International
Book Award Category finalist.
Speaker 3 (01:37):
The book is my story of learning that my.
Speaker 2 (01:43):
Sixteen year old son Jake was killed, and my grief
and my grief journey and figuring out how to move
forward and walk on in life without my son. And
it's a It honors both Jake and then his younger brother, Liam,
who the book is dedicated to. Jake was a passenger
(02:06):
in a vehicle that was operated recklessly, went off the road, crashed,
and Jake was killed. That was August ninth, twenty twenty,
on Block Island and Rhode Island. He was away for
a weekend with his girlfriend and her family. It was
supposed to be just a quick short trip.
Speaker 1 (02:22):
So he'd be about twenty five today, right, No, he'd
be twenty one. Yeah. Oh he was six.
Speaker 3 (02:29):
Yeah he was sixteen, stipid.
Speaker 1 (02:32):
Okay, I'm thinking twenty anyway. Yeah not. I feel your loss,
and I know, as a fellow potter, I could I
I sympathized with June was saying, yeah, I appreciate it,
thank you. But but you said he had a brother, right,
that's your other son.
Speaker 2 (02:50):
Yeah, so Liam was eleven at the time. They were
separated by five years.
Speaker 1 (02:56):
How was hes al Right?
Speaker 2 (02:58):
Liam is, He's had a rough road, but he's doing
great now. The first two years were We're harder on
all of us, but especially Liam. He was lost without
his beloved older brother and someone who he looked up
to and adored, and it was challenging. I'm not gonna
lie to you, it was. It was the hardest thing
I've ever gone through in my life.
Speaker 3 (03:18):
Gerald.
Speaker 2 (03:19):
But Liam has come a long way and he's rising
junior in high school now, he's away right now at
an outward bound experience. Super proud of Liam. He's developed
into a quite a young man. He's been through a
lot in his life, but he's got a resilience muscle
(03:39):
stronger than many.
Speaker 1 (03:41):
Okay, okay, and your book, tell me your book again. Yeah.
The book is Walking and it's part of clear on
the accident that happened years all right.
Speaker 3 (03:53):
Yeah, so that's about this.
Speaker 2 (03:56):
You know, my son dying, how I, my wife Kelly,
and Liam had to pick up the pieces and find
a way to move forward in our lives. I talk
of a lot about grief because men don't often talk
about it. I needed a healthy place to put it.
(04:17):
So I started to write, but I didn't start to
write a book. I started to write a goodbye letter
to Jake, and his writing kind of stopped and started.
It was really hard. I ended up stumbling one day
upon a bunch of notes that I had written to Jake, started.
Speaker 3 (04:36):
When he was about EG five.
Speaker 2 (04:37):
Every morning I'd write a message and I posted sticking
out to my boys, and they included quotes from famous people,
unknown folks, myself, and they dealt with character traits that
I thought were important and valuable and necessary to be
successful in life, and I had when I ran into those,
(05:00):
I I just called bullshit on them, because when you
lose a child, you question everything, You lose faith and everything,
You don't trust anything. And so I had to rediscover
meaning within all those things I had shared with Jake,
and whether they were actually true or not. And so
the book touches upon a lot of key attributes and
(05:22):
traits like character, integrity, honesty, resilience, embracing change and uh,
you know, family, friends just a lot of different key
values and traits that are that are needed to maneuver
(05:42):
through life because life is not a straight line.
Speaker 1 (05:46):
It's not linear, that's not at all, not okay. So
the letters and notes that you remote to your son, right,
did you.
Speaker 2 (05:56):
What I included? The included a lot of the quotes. Yeah,
And each chapter deals with a different topic.
Speaker 3 (06:08):
It opens.
Speaker 2 (06:09):
The hardest chapter is the first, and that's the news
of how we learned that Jake died and it was killed.
And from there it's really just about the struggle and
the the hope that we relied upon to move forward,
to get up each day and find little joys in
(06:31):
life to carry us forward. And it was you know,
we're coming up on five years this August, and it's
still hard. You know something, it's a life sentenced Gerald
was something we'll carry for the rest of our lives
to our grave. But we've found ways to honor Jake
and his beautiful legacy of lifting up others and spreading joy.
(06:54):
And so that's why I put a lot of my
time into that. Now we've set up scholarships to honor Jake.
Of them, did Jake Pannis walk on scholarships? One in
South Dakota, one in South Carolina, and one in Connecticut.
Speaker 1 (07:05):
Real quick, Who's who's we?
Speaker 3 (07:08):
My wife, Kelly, Liam and I?
Speaker 1 (07:11):
Okay, so your fam? Okay, so you and your family,
your wife and your child, okay, okay, all right. Before
I move on, I just want to say real quick, right,
you know, man to man, father father, like now, like
I don't I don't know what it's like to like
to lose a child from this earth, right, but it's
(07:32):
kind of funny too. Well funny is one where it's
kind of flock better word funny. I guess how yesterday
I was on the mass Spaces podcast come about my
custody BA from rusting them, and like, yeah, my my, my,
my daughter is still alive, but like I feel like
I've lost her and there's nothing like there's nothing's like
(07:55):
no physical, no emotional pain that's greater than that. And
so I just want to say some point us for
men to just to be tough and you know, let's
le social check my tether and if that's tackling each
other and stuff like that.
Speaker 3 (08:08):
You know.
Speaker 1 (08:10):
With that said, right, I'm just curious, you know, did
you ever consider like I'm seeking like no professional help
if somebody talk to the therapists.
Speaker 2 (08:18):
Oh yeah, I wouldn't be sitting here today if I
didn't have a therapist. When you lose a child, it's
you don't just cry, You weep until your bones rattle.
It's brutal. We needed serious professional help to get through this.
My wife didn't want to live, Liam didn't want to live,
and I was determined to make sure that nobody else
was lost in this process. And honestly, I days where
(08:42):
I put my head down the pillow and I was
okay if I if I never woke up, it really
takes you down harder than I've ever been hit by anything.
Speaker 3 (08:50):
But you're right.
Speaker 2 (08:51):
The reality is that our and men struggle with this concept.
But it took me a while to embrace it. But
our vulnerability is our strength. And when you ask for
help from others, you tend to then make a pivot
to the right direction, You move to the light. It's
not easy to ask for help for a lot of people.
(09:13):
But when you have something like this, and grief comes
in many forms, like you just said, you have your
own form of grief.
Speaker 3 (09:18):
Right.
Speaker 2 (09:19):
Grief happens with the ends of relationships, the wars, separation, breakup.
It happens with financial crisis. It happens with your house
gets burned down by fire, you live in La A tornado.
It happens just in Texas where twenty eight children were
just killed.
Speaker 3 (09:37):
In floods. So there's a lot of different.
Speaker 2 (09:40):
Forms in ways in which grief reveals itself on this planet.
It happens to every one of us. And the message
of my book is how do you walk on from it?
And so I hope to inspire people to find the
answers within themselves, because that's where they lie.
Speaker 3 (09:57):
They don't lie looking outward.
Speaker 2 (09:59):
Often we look for answers from from other people or
other things. But the answers are right here, and you
just have to reflect and search your soul and rely
on everything that you believe in, never give up hope,
and take it one hour, one minute at a time,
one day at a time.
Speaker 1 (10:16):
Okay, that's why I give a quick cheap club, real quick. Right,
Everybody can go to my website w W dot Stperido
dot com and click on sponsors. You'll see one of
them is talk Space. That's like, that's that's a service
that I'm very partial to. It's the online therapy and
I'm saying. They they cover they cover damn near every insurance.
(10:40):
I mean they're covered by every pretty much every insurance
that there is to be covered by. Uh. And when
you just say that, I say it all the time.
I'm gonna say it again, Like, if you need help,
go out.
Speaker 3 (10:52):
There and get it.
Speaker 1 (10:52):
You know what I'm saying. You know, like, uh, you know,
your mental health it's just as important as like the
health of your arm, more the help of your leg
or your heart or whatever it's. You know what I'm saying.
You know, you're just going to the dentist to fix
your teeth, what I'm saying. You know, it's one thing
to like, you know, go to the bar, talk to
(11:12):
talk to you guys whatever, or just like be in the
car and just like chat, mature with whatever. Right, But
like that's not professional, and they'll respect to your buddy,
I'm saying. But I'm am strong I become It was
always this way, but I've become a very strong appointed
for professional help, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 3 (11:31):
That's great.
Speaker 1 (11:33):
You know I was all up until like a year ago,
I was like I was very dismissive and very very like, yeah,
I was very dismissive and very like kind of cynical
and skeptical about the whole therapy thing, you know, because
the stigma, oh you're crazy whatever is that there. And
I'm like, there came a time I was like, all right,
(11:53):
we'll try this. I tried everything else in our you know.
Speaker 3 (11:58):
Yeah, well, I mean.
Speaker 2 (12:01):
We all feel like we're alone in our circumstances with
whatever happens to us.
Speaker 3 (12:05):
But the realities you're not alone.
Speaker 2 (12:06):
And when you talk then you learn that, Okay, someone
else has gone through this or been there, and they
can help you think, whether it's just lifting you up,
whether that's talking you through things or just sometimes just listening,
just showing up, and that's really important. It's showing up
from each other.
Speaker 1 (12:23):
It's a good and I'm I'm glad that you found
a very good outlet in writing to deal with your grief.
You know, it's not guarantee that some somebody that that
somebody else would like find like the same out similar outlets,
and people turn to drinking or drunks or whatever else.
Speaker 2 (12:41):
I'm saying that just masks the problem though, and it doesn't.
Speaker 3 (12:45):
Grief ain't going anywhere. It's just waiting for you.
Speaker 2 (12:48):
You can drink it away. I think you're gonna drink
it away, sweep it away. It's there waiting. Yeah, your shadow,
so run, but it's going to be there wherever you
run to.
Speaker 3 (12:59):
There it is.
Speaker 1 (13:00):
But yeah, but you found a very good outlet and
paired out with paired with therapy, like you're gonna be
all right, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2 (13:09):
So yeah, I had to do it because I had
so much bitterness and rage against our circumstances. I was pissed,
I was angry, I was hurt, I was guided. It
felt like somebody reached into my chest and ripped out
my heart.
Speaker 1 (13:26):
Imagine.
Speaker 2 (13:27):
You know, it's changed my whole life. Everything is different
now and forever will be. But I'm doing what I
can to move forward, walk on, to live a life
that ensures that I'm a good dad for Liam and
that Jake's legacy lives forever.
Speaker 1 (13:48):
Okay, I appreciate that. So so your book Walk On, right,
that's the only part you ever written?
Speaker 2 (13:58):
Yeah, I actually just I'm in the process of writing
another book, so hopefully that will be out one day soon.
Speaker 1 (14:06):
Okay, And any it's like a like an Eta on
the on the release.
Speaker 3 (14:11):
Not yeah, it's so early in the process.
Speaker 2 (14:13):
But uh, it's a different it's different, it's a novel,
So we'll see. But I'm I'm excited about it, and
keep you posted.
Speaker 1 (14:21):
Okay, I'm looking forward, looking forward, say too many younger
hit that, right, I hit something off, look forward too?
So what inspired so? So? What inspired you and got
you into being a speaker?
Speaker 3 (14:36):
So I went down.
Speaker 2 (14:38):
One of the scholarships we created was at the University
of South Carolina, where I went to school and where
Jake wanted to go to school college and follow my footsteps.
Speaker 3 (14:46):
So I wanted to find a way to get him to.
Speaker 2 (14:49):
South Carolina in spirit, and we ended up working with
Shane Beemer, the head football coach at the University of
South Carolina. We created a walk on scholarship there for
football player who exhibits many of the leadership qualities that
Jake had. And I went down in September of twenty
twenty one to award the first scholarship. And I spoke
(15:11):
to the entire team at like seven forty five in
the morning and all the coaches, like eighty five players
and I don't know how many coaches and staff members,
but I was given the platform to speak and award
that scholarship, and I typically was never thought of myself
as much of a public speaker. I was always the
guy behind the camera. I was a sports agent and
(15:32):
attorney and marketer, so my clients were always once in
the spotlight and on the camera.
Speaker 3 (15:37):
And that was more Jake style too.
Speaker 2 (15:39):
So getting up and speaking was never anything that I
thought I would be doing, but doing that day proved
to be incredibly meaningful. I really I was one of
the first days I felt real joy again, and that
had been a little over a year since Jake had passed,
and I saw the power of the scholarship and what
(16:03):
it meant to the recipient at that time, it was
a young man named Matthew Bailey, a long snapper, and
it led me to realize that this was kind of
my purpose moving forward, that I needed to help people,
and the way I help people is I write and
I talk and I share my experience to try to
get people to open up like you were talking about,
(16:25):
to share theirs and to get help where they need it,
to raise their hand when they don't want to, because
we all suffer, and no matter how it happens or
when it happens. Everyone has to find a way to
walk on in their lives. So knowing that there's others
out there is a way to open that up. And
we're all here to love one another and to lift
each other up. It's really that simple.
Speaker 1 (16:45):
Gerald, Okay, okay, let me thinking, I'll come here and
talk about the scholarship. So let'stically speaking, right, How do
you start a scholarship?
Speaker 2 (16:57):
Yeah, so you raise money or or if you have
the money, you wade a check. But we raised money.
The first scholarship we started is in South Dakota. Jake
took a church mission trip out there. It's one of
the poorest areas in the country, Pine Vieginian Reservation, and
there's an area on that reservation called Red Shirt Table,
(17:17):
very small area where Jake and his fellow youth peers
from church went out there for a couple of weeks
and did mission work, teaching them how to read and write,
having fun with them, teaching them life skills, just bringing
them joy. And Jake came home from that experience profoundly upset.
(17:39):
He saw the inequalities between how those children were living
in South Dakota and how he was living in Connecticut,
and he wanted to make a difference. He wanted to
help them, and he told me that the minute he
got off the bus, and he was planning to go
back in twenty twenty, COVID canceled that trip and then he.
Speaker 3 (17:56):
Died months later.
Speaker 2 (17:58):
So the first scholarship we created was for the children
out there with at Red Cloud Indian School who graduate
and need college's assistants to get to college. We've awarded
three scholarships out there. Then six months later we created
the South Carolina Scholarship, the Jake Panis walk On Scholarship
at South Carolina. The first one's the Jake Panis walk
On Scholarship at Red Cloud Indian School. And then the
(18:20):
third one was just created just last month in partnership
with the Boys and Girls Club here at Bridgeport, Connecticut
to help children there, and it's the Jake Panis walk
On Scholarship, and that helps again underserved, underprivileged children who
want to get to college in sanitize them with a
college scholarship.
Speaker 1 (18:40):
How did you raise the money for the scholarships.
Speaker 2 (18:43):
Well, the first one was raised because it was right
after Jake died and we were getting flowers. We didn't
need any more flowers, and so we put out that
we were starting the scholarship, and so people graciously and
generously donated a lot of money, so that one got
left launched by that.
Speaker 3 (18:59):
The second one in South Carolina did the same thing.
Speaker 2 (19:02):
I got a lot of national publicity and press around
the launch of that scholarship, and we quickly raised enough
money so it's in doubt it will live forever. And
then the third one was launched by a generous donation
by good friends who who wrote a really big check
to get the third one launched. And we'll start fundraising
(19:24):
for that one as well. And they're all on my
website Stephen Panis p A n US dot com. You
can read about them, learn about Jake, learn about the book,
learn about my public speaking or mentoring.
Speaker 3 (19:37):
Put all the informations.
Speaker 1 (19:38):
There right, and that's Stephenpanis dot com. It's s T
E P H E N p A n U S
dot com. A body, so check that out. One time
I'm saying what else? Well, quick brought up wealth.
Speaker 2 (19:52):
On the website, they can learn about the scholarship winners.
We've awarded seven scholarships in the last four years, so
they can you know, there's pictures of the kids, which
is really meaningful to a brief dad. Those each one
of those children now I say children, but they're young
men and women. They now carry a part of Jake
with them in their life's journey, and that's meaningful.
Speaker 1 (20:14):
Okay. The book Walk On where, like, where can we
find that?
Speaker 2 (20:20):
Yeah, it's available on Amazon, Barnes and Noble, target books
a million, all online.
Speaker 1 (20:27):
So it's only a virtual it's only virtual. No hard copy.
Speaker 2 (20:30):
There's some select Barnes and Nobles where it's been in
hard copy, but yeah, mostly online.
Speaker 1 (20:36):
Okay, so Barnes and Noble.
Speaker 2 (20:39):
You say you said Amazon, Yeah, most people get it
from Amazon, because isn't that where most people do all
the shopping?
Speaker 1 (20:45):
I mean I would, Yeah, I hate shopping like it's
because because I go mostly women, so moms, sisters, grandma's.
I would just be there shop. I would sit down,
express my feet while they just stop followers.
Speaker 3 (21:01):
Yeah, I'm with you. I'm not a big fan of
shopping either.
Speaker 1 (21:03):
There's yeah, my girlfriends and then I'm okay with that. Okay,
daughters all god yeah, well yeah, okay, what train and
thought here? Forgive me? Okay, uh but but but uh
so explain of being a mentor and a coach. So
how did that start? And explain, like, explain the role
(21:27):
that you play as that, like how are you a
mentor and how are you coaching? And how did you start?
Speaker 3 (21:31):
Yeah, so it's it.
Speaker 2 (21:34):
Honestly, it started with just raising my two boys and
then I've always been kind of a coach dad to them,
trying to instill positive traits, trying to inspire them and
guide them as best I can.
Speaker 3 (21:46):
But after Jake.
Speaker 2 (21:47):
Died and my book was published, I had a couple
of people parents reach out to me to have have
me talk to their children who were struggling with different issues,
and they were different ages. One is a student athlete
in college, and I was able to successfully really connect
with the kids, help them through their issue, get them
(22:10):
to see it from a fresh perspective, offers solutions to them,
and help guide them. Ultimately, the solutions come from them,
but because we all have to solve our own problems,
but just being a voice and an ear to listen
to them and a voice when they need to hear things.
And so it kind of took off from that and
it's kind of grown and so now I've helped multiple
(22:32):
n C double A student athletes as well as just
regular students pretty much from like eighth grade up to college.
Speaker 1 (22:40):
Okay, that's the called. Remember remember before we got gone
a year, I was gonna still together. I forgot one
thing forgetting and if my phone by let's a question
on it? Yeah it was charging. But now sorry, so
(23:08):
now so now with the point where I take the listeners. Right,
so I forgot how I've got how long in that
Brands restarched this interview. But since that time, you know,
I put out there on social media? Oh, real quick,
before I get into it, right, are you on social media? Like?
Are you on are you on social media? Like on?
Speaker 2 (23:26):
Yeah, I'm on Twitter, Instagram, LinkedIn Facebook?
Speaker 1 (23:30):
All right, so ibably follow my boy Stephen. Say it again.
I don't want to get wrong.
Speaker 3 (23:35):
Stephen panis Hannah's I got the.
Speaker 1 (23:37):
Cap Stephen follow him on LinkedIn, Instagram, Instagram, Twitter. Okay,
what's your Instagram handle? Because I tried to find it.
Speaker 3 (23:47):
But Instagram is Stephen b.
Speaker 2 (23:50):
My middle initial panis all right, and all the other
ones are just at Stephen panis.
Speaker 1 (23:55):
Followed that real quick. I'm trying to see a fine
My listener questions here at the hotline nine one seven
eight ninety five six. You could submit your questions or
comments live or not live. Also, I'm also prepped of
phone calls and voicemails as well. So yeah, but okay,
(24:16):
my boy Chris Fumbing, regular listener, regular contribute to the show.
He has a bunch of questions. Let me see, for Steven,
besides writing a book about your lost child, how has
your life changed between that that that experience and being
professional in your expertise of your sport.
Speaker 3 (24:40):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (24:41):
So I loft my job last May. I needed to
take some time to reflect and reboot launch my own agency.
So that's been a change.
Speaker 3 (24:55):
Help.
Speaker 2 (24:55):
My perspective on life is much different. How I lead
my life as much different. I don't plan a head
that far. I live each day to the max because
that's all I really promised is you know this moment.
So I embrace the moments, the joys that happen in life.
I'm deeply connected to fellow humans in a way that
(25:20):
I probably wasn't. I think that's one of the if
your word benefits of something like this is that your
heart gets absolutely blown to smithereens and in order for
it to rebuild, and when it does rebuild, it it
is a different heart and it's one that connects you.
You know, I can when I look at people, I
can see their pain and feel their pain. And I
(25:42):
always say that it's like I see everyone We're in
an invisible backpack, and in it they're carrying their own
pain and suffering. And so I'm able to relate to
people in a way that I probably wasn't necessarily able
to as deeply as before.
Speaker 1 (25:57):
Okay, real quick, before I bought to Chris Brandon's asking,
He asked you to describe to tell me about your
sports background. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (26:10):
So, I've been born a lot of hats.
Speaker 2 (26:13):
I've been a sports Asian, and I've represented NFL players,
super Bowl champion, Pro Bowl player, four time winner of
the Indy five hundred International Tennis Superstars, worked in a
variety of different sports, and now I've represented. Now I'm
representing some TV personality, sports TV personality, some companies, filmmakers, authors.
Speaker 1 (26:39):
Did you go to school for sports management.
Speaker 2 (26:42):
No. I went to school at the University of South
Carolina and I was a Political science International Studies major.
But I worked for the Athletic department while I was there.
So I got like a feel like I got a
second degree because I worked in sports information and knew
then what I knew when I left for college what
I was going to be or what I wanted to do.
I was going to be involved in sports somehow, some way,
(27:04):
and I started in sports pr. I worked for legendary
publicists Joey Golstein in New York, and that launched really
South Carolina launched it. But that was my first professional
job out of college, and it just went from there.
I went back to law school so I could. I
wanted to be an at turned sports attorney, and I was.
I don't practice law anymore, but I have that all
(27:26):
the tools and skills.
Speaker 1 (27:27):
Still, what kind of loggy practice sports business?
Speaker 3 (27:32):
Arts represented artists?
Speaker 1 (27:34):
Okay, okay, I mean like musicians, stuff like that, like
that type of art.
Speaker 2 (27:40):
No visual artists, painters, sculptors. I didn't rep musicians. Was
kind of a different niche, different silo. I never really
got into that space. I love music, but never got
into that one.
Speaker 1 (27:51):
I'm curious how, like, so directly speaking, right, how did
that work? Like what kind of legal do artists have? Well?
Speaker 2 (27:58):
They you know, it's funny, a lot of artists. Obviously
you hear the term starving artists, right. So usually when
you start out with them, they don't have a lot,
but they need all kinds of help. They need help
with their their least agreement with their landlord.
Speaker 3 (28:11):
Right.
Speaker 2 (28:12):
They need help with a will or trust, you know,
living will on a regular will, what happens if something
happens to them. They need advice on how to protect
their artwork, right, Copyright trademark, So there's a lot of
different facets. They need to form a company to protect themselves.
So maybe to help the help themselves tax wise, So
there's a lot of different facets of the law that
(28:34):
get incorporated into representing an athlete. Then you negotiate contracts
for them, so there's negotiating skills. Then there's I brought
my PR and marketing background to the table as well,
so I handle the PR and their marketing, getting them sponsorships,
strategic partnerships.
Speaker 1 (28:50):
Okay, I got two last questions. Open them for Chris
by the way, Chris blumbing, Chris ya, or teach others
about your sports experience.
Speaker 2 (29:04):
If they're if there's interest in that. Yes, most of
the time, again it's it's student athletes coming to me
with an issue, whether that's anxiety, whether they're struggling with
balancing school, sports life, whether they have ADHD, whether they
just need direction, whether they do you know, there's a
(29:27):
lot of issues. But yeah, career wise, I'm happy, and
I do counsel people on careers, especially young people when
they're you know, eighteen, nineteen twenty, trying to figure out
what they want to be and what they want to do. Yeah,
that's a part of it. You know, you want to
direct people in the right way. But usually they know
where they just need a guide. They kind of know
intuitively what they want to do. They just need a
(29:49):
guide to help them get there, to make the right steps,
to make the right choices.
Speaker 1 (29:53):
I'm paraphrasing this here, but do you so like so
have you ever like.
Speaker 3 (30:00):
Coach or what?
Speaker 1 (30:02):
Was there a word? What's a word I'm thinking of
coach or that give or gave it advice or insights
based on your experience as a father who lost their child.
Speaker 2 (30:13):
All the time, I get a lot of people reaching
out to me now because of the book and my talks.
I just met with a young man last Saturday morning
who lost his father a week ago, and he needed
to talk to somebody, and he reached out to me
and asked if i'd meet with him, and I said,
of course. So I went and met with him, and
I'll probably see him again in the next coming weeks.
(30:37):
But yeah, I reached out to a lot of people,
connect with them. I'm transported right back to my own tragedy.
When I hear of obviously have a parent who lost
a child, it breaks my heart. I know the pain
and the anguish and the just the level of trauma.
Speaker 3 (30:56):
That they're immersed in. And I wouldn't worsh upon any soul.
Speaker 2 (30:59):
So yeah, like I said, I I gain meaning and
purpose in my life now from helping others.
Speaker 1 (31:07):
Okay, I appreciate that. Appreciate that. So it's what I
want to reach out to you, right, will be the
best way.
Speaker 3 (31:14):
How Yeah, you can contact me.
Speaker 2 (31:16):
There's a contact page on my website so they can
shoot me an email.
Speaker 1 (31:19):
It's all there, all right, Stephen, I'm sorry dot com.
I'm sorry Gerald path dot com again. Anybody go to
stephenpants dot com real quick before I wrap up, before
I close anything else, wanna plug real quick.
Speaker 2 (31:40):
I'll be given a talk on a few weeks in
Atlanta and but otherwise the book, I mean, the proceeds
of the book support the Jake Pannis walk On Scholarships.
I don't profit off it. So you know, when you
buy the book, it's it's a good read. It's a
powerful read. I think it's one that will make you
rethink your priorities in life, what values, what you value most,
and how you should be living your life, and maybe
(32:01):
help you become the best version of yourself. It's not
just for people who've lost someone in death again, with
grief happens in a variety of ways. So it's a
good read and it's you know, it's got great endorsements
from the likes of Jim Rome, Marty Smith, Kyle Brandt
from the NFL Network, Lindsay's Arniac, Fox Sports, so a
(32:25):
lot of known personalities have endorsed it, and it's it's
been well received, and I'm really happy to know that
it's out there and it's helping people.
Speaker 1 (32:35):
Okay, okay, well that said, we're done here, all right.
I want to say real quick, I I really do
appreciate you come on the show. It's been very it's
been very very I'm gonna say a very warm like
half an hour. My tongue. Very yeah, it's been a
(32:57):
very enlightening half an hour. It's been a great, pleasant,
very pleasant happening. We're a very cool, pleasant guy. I
apparci you having on do that time anytime you want
to do this again. I'm saying, I appreciate it, man,
real quick, real quick, right, I like uh I had.
Alec Hammer was on the show a few weeks ago.
(33:19):
He said it, I'm gonna say it right, and I'm
pretty sure you would agree and you would say it
as well. You know, if you're if you if you
need help, if he's wanting to talk to right, come
talk to If you know how to find him, contact them,
call Alec Alec Hammer. If you know how to find me,
contact me right now, one seven five six, call me
(33:41):
like I was out here you well, and most likely
I will direct you to talk space, you know, to
get the best help you can. I'm saying because I'm
not professional. You know, I'm saying like, I'll try to
beat it for you, but I'm not professional. And if
again I can't just en, I'll say I'll keep it myself.
If you need help, Okay, something ashamed of you know
(34:02):
what I'm saying exactly. Oh, I appreciate that. Yeah, and
I guess that's it for now. But like but like
I always say, right, I'm gonna be back on I
believe Sunday at five Eastern fight special guest, my every guest,
(34:22):
uh Ant Antonio Alo. I kept the last name. I'm
sorry his last name since today, I don't know what's
going on. He's a martial artist. We'll click are you
Are you into or follow martial arts?
Speaker 2 (34:36):
I follow the UFC a little bit, but yeah, okay,
I used to live in Vegas.
Speaker 1 (34:40):
So the point, the point we're plugging that at this
specific time was set up by closer line, which is
always until that time. Twice you again, please please do
me a favor, not yourself, do me a favor. Stay safe,
stay out of trouble, and I'll see you back here
Sunday at five. All right, pace out, man, alright, alright, bye,
(35:02):
be out of here. Ah hm
Night wherever time they're listening to this on I'm back again.
We're live. It's five. I'm in the studio apartment in Queens,
New York. Right, know what it is. I'm with my
I'm with my special guests. Tell me who you are, sir?
Speaker 2 (00:17):
Yeah, So my name is Stephen Panis. I'm an author,
sports marketing executive and father.
Speaker 1 (00:24):
Okay, okay, as you can tell. I just got to decide.
I'm sweating. It's hot. My fans isn't doing crap to
help that? Yeah? Man, how did they go in? It's good?
Speaker 3 (00:38):
Yeah, it's good.
Speaker 1 (00:39):
Good.
Speaker 3 (00:39):
How about you?
Speaker 1 (00:40):
It might is fine, very productive. Got a bunch of
errands done, I'm saying, just talk about talked about the
professional guests I have later on this big this come
from Parado. Stay tuned with that about you anything in particular.
Just relaxed all day.
Speaker 3 (00:55):
Yeah, just a regular Wednesday.
Speaker 1 (00:57):
Okay, like that?
Speaker 3 (00:58):
Like that?
Speaker 1 (01:00):
So well, quick right with say left him again? I
want to get wrong, I'm sorry.
Speaker 3 (01:05):
Yeah, So it's Stephen Panis.
Speaker 1 (01:08):
Stephen Pannis. I remember Stephen Panis. Okay, so I have here.
You are an author, You're an author? Right, that's correct
about that?
Speaker 3 (01:18):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (01:18):
So I wrote a book that was published last April.
It's called walk On. It was featured by Good Morning
America as one of their book Club Buzz selections, and
most recently was honored with as an Eric Hoffer International
Book Award Category finalist.
Speaker 3 (01:37):
The book is my story of learning that my.
Speaker 2 (01:43):
Sixteen year old son Jake was killed, and my grief
and my grief journey and figuring out how to move
forward and walk on in life without my son. And
it's a It honors both Jake and then his younger brother, Liam,
who the book is dedicated to. Jake was a passenger
(02:06):
in a vehicle that was operated recklessly, went off the road, crashed,
and Jake was killed. That was August ninth, twenty twenty,
on Block Island and Rhode Island. He was away for
a weekend with his girlfriend and her family. It was
supposed to be just a quick short trip.
Speaker 1 (02:22):
So he'd be about twenty five today, right, No, he'd
be twenty one. Yeah. Oh he was six.
Speaker 3 (02:29):
Yeah he was sixteen, stipid.
Speaker 1 (02:32):
Okay, I'm thinking twenty anyway. Yeah not. I feel your loss,
and I know, as a fellow potter, I could I
I sympathized with June was saying, yeah, I appreciate it,
thank you. But but you said he had a brother, right,
that's your other son.
Speaker 2 (02:50):
Yeah, so Liam was eleven at the time. They were
separated by five years.
Speaker 1 (02:56):
How was hes al Right?
Speaker 2 (02:58):
Liam is, He's had a rough road, but he's doing
great now. The first two years were We're harder on
all of us, but especially Liam. He was lost without
his beloved older brother and someone who he looked up
to and adored, and it was challenging. I'm not gonna
lie to you, it was. It was the hardest thing
I've ever gone through in my life.
Speaker 3 (03:18):
Gerald.
Speaker 2 (03:19):
But Liam has come a long way and he's rising
junior in high school now, he's away right now at
an outward bound experience. Super proud of Liam. He's developed
into a quite a young man. He's been through a
lot in his life, but he's got a resilience muscle
(03:39):
stronger than many.
Speaker 1 (03:41):
Okay, okay, and your book, tell me your book again. Yeah.
The book is Walking and it's part of clear on
the accident that happened years all right.
Speaker 3 (03:53):
Yeah, so that's about this.
Speaker 2 (03:56):
You know, my son dying, how I, my wife Kelly,
and Liam had to pick up the pieces and find
a way to move forward in our lives. I talk
of a lot about grief because men don't often talk
about it. I needed a healthy place to put it.
(04:17):
So I started to write, but I didn't start to
write a book. I started to write a goodbye letter
to Jake, and his writing kind of stopped and started.
It was really hard. I ended up stumbling one day
upon a bunch of notes that I had written to Jake, started.
Speaker 3 (04:36):
When he was about EG five.
Speaker 2 (04:37):
Every morning I'd write a message and I posted sticking
out to my boys, and they included quotes from famous people,
unknown folks, myself, and they dealt with character traits that
I thought were important and valuable and necessary to be
successful in life, and I had when I ran into those,
(05:00):
I I just called bullshit on them, because when you
lose a child, you question everything, You lose faith and everything,
You don't trust anything. And so I had to rediscover
meaning within all those things I had shared with Jake,
and whether they were actually true or not. And so
the book touches upon a lot of key attributes and
(05:22):
traits like character, integrity, honesty, resilience, embracing change and uh,
you know, family, friends just a lot of different key
values and traits that are that are needed to maneuver
(05:42):
through life because life is not a straight line.
Speaker 1 (05:46):
It's not linear, that's not at all, not okay. So
the letters and notes that you remote to your son, right,
did you.
Speaker 2 (05:56):
What I included? The included a lot of the quotes. Yeah,
And each chapter deals with a different topic.
Speaker 3 (06:08):
It opens.
Speaker 2 (06:09):
The hardest chapter is the first, and that's the news
of how we learned that Jake died and it was killed.
And from there it's really just about the struggle and
the the hope that we relied upon to move forward,
to get up each day and find little joys in
(06:31):
life to carry us forward. And it was you know,
we're coming up on five years this August, and it's
still hard. You know something, it's a life sentenced Gerald
was something we'll carry for the rest of our lives
to our grave. But we've found ways to honor Jake
and his beautiful legacy of lifting up others and spreading joy.
(06:54):
And so that's why I put a lot of my
time into that. Now we've set up scholarships to honor Jake.
Of them, did Jake Pannis walk on scholarships? One in
South Dakota, one in South Carolina, and one in Connecticut.
Speaker 1 (07:05):
Real quick, Who's who's we?
Speaker 3 (07:08):
My wife, Kelly, Liam and I?
Speaker 1 (07:11):
Okay, so your fam? Okay, so you and your family,
your wife and your child, okay, okay, all right. Before
I move on, I just want to say real quick, right,
you know, man to man, father father, like now, like
I don't I don't know what it's like to like
to lose a child from this earth, right, but it's
(07:32):
kind of funny too. Well funny is one where it's
kind of flock better word funny. I guess how yesterday
I was on the mass Spaces podcast come about my
custody BA from rusting them, and like, yeah, my my, my,
my daughter is still alive, but like I feel like
I've lost her and there's nothing like there's nothing's like
(07:55):
no physical, no emotional pain that's greater than that. And
so I just want to say some point us for
men to just to be tough and you know, let's
le social check my tether and if that's tackling each
other and stuff like that.
Speaker 3 (08:08):
You know.
Speaker 1 (08:10):
With that said, right, I'm just curious, you know, did
you ever consider like I'm seeking like no professional help
if somebody talk to the therapists.
Speaker 2 (08:18):
Oh yeah, I wouldn't be sitting here today if I
didn't have a therapist. When you lose a child, it's
you don't just cry, You weep until your bones rattle.
It's brutal. We needed serious professional help to get through this.
My wife didn't want to live, Liam didn't want to live,
and I was determined to make sure that nobody else
was lost in this process. And honestly, I days where
(08:42):
I put my head down the pillow and I was
okay if I if I never woke up, it really
takes you down harder than I've ever been hit by anything.
Speaker 3 (08:50):
But you're right.
Speaker 2 (08:51):
The reality is that our and men struggle with this concept.
But it took me a while to embrace it. But
our vulnerability is our strength. And when you ask for
help from others, you tend to then make a pivot
to the right direction, You move to the light. It's
not easy to ask for help for a lot of people.
(09:13):
But when you have something like this, and grief comes
in many forms, like you just said, you have your
own form of grief.
Speaker 3 (09:18):
Right.
Speaker 2 (09:19):
Grief happens with the ends of relationships, the wars, separation, breakup.
It happens with financial crisis. It happens with your house
gets burned down by fire, you live in La A tornado.
It happens just in Texas where twenty eight children were
just killed.
Speaker 3 (09:37):
In floods. So there's a lot of different.
Speaker 2 (09:40):
Forms in ways in which grief reveals itself on this planet.
It happens to every one of us. And the message
of my book is how do you walk on from it?
And so I hope to inspire people to find the
answers within themselves, because that's where they lie.
Speaker 3 (09:57):
They don't lie looking outward.
Speaker 2 (09:59):
Often we look for answers from from other people or
other things. But the answers are right here, and you
just have to reflect and search your soul and rely
on everything that you believe in, never give up hope,
and take it one hour, one minute at a time,
one day at a time.
Speaker 1 (10:16):
Okay, that's why I give a quick cheap club, real quick. Right,
Everybody can go to my website w W dot Stperido
dot com and click on sponsors. You'll see one of
them is talk Space. That's like, that's that's a service
that I'm very partial to. It's the online therapy and
I'm saying. They they cover they cover damn near every insurance.
(10:40):
I mean they're covered by every pretty much every insurance
that there is to be covered by. Uh. And when
you just say that, I say it all the time.
I'm gonna say it again, Like, if you need help,
go out.
Speaker 3 (10:52):
There and get it.
Speaker 1 (10:52):
You know what I'm saying. You know, like, uh, you know,
your mental health it's just as important as like the
health of your arm, more the help of your leg
or your heart or whatever it's. You know what I'm saying.
You know, you're just going to the dentist to fix
your teeth, what I'm saying. You know, it's one thing
to like, you know, go to the bar, talk to
(11:12):
talk to you guys whatever, or just like be in the
car and just like chat, mature with whatever. Right, But
like that's not professional, and they'll respect to your buddy,
I'm saying. But I'm am strong I become It was
always this way, but I've become a very strong appointed
for professional help, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 3 (11:31):
That's great.
Speaker 1 (11:33):
You know I was all up until like a year ago,
I was like I was very dismissive and very very like, yeah,
I was very dismissive and very like kind of cynical
and skeptical about the whole therapy thing, you know, because
the stigma, oh you're crazy whatever is that there. And
I'm like, there came a time I was like, all right,
(11:53):
we'll try this. I tried everything else in our you know.
Speaker 3 (11:58):
Yeah, well, I mean.
Speaker 2 (12:01):
We all feel like we're alone in our circumstances with
whatever happens to us.
Speaker 3 (12:05):
But the realities you're not alone.
Speaker 2 (12:06):
And when you talk then you learn that, Okay, someone
else has gone through this or been there, and they
can help you think, whether it's just lifting you up,
whether that's talking you through things or just sometimes just listening,
just showing up, and that's really important. It's showing up
from each other.
Speaker 1 (12:23):
It's a good and I'm I'm glad that you found
a very good outlet in writing to deal with your grief.
You know, it's not guarantee that some somebody that that
somebody else would like find like the same out similar outlets,
and people turn to drinking or drunks or whatever else.
Speaker 2 (12:41):
I'm saying that just masks the problem though, and it doesn't.
Speaker 3 (12:45):
Grief ain't going anywhere. It's just waiting for you.
Speaker 2 (12:48):
You can drink it away. I think you're gonna drink
it away, sweep it away. It's there waiting. Yeah, your shadow,
so run, but it's going to be there wherever you
run to.
Speaker 3 (12:59):
There it is.
Speaker 1 (13:00):
But yeah, but you found a very good outlet and
paired out with paired with therapy, like you're gonna be
all right, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2 (13:09):
So yeah, I had to do it because I had
so much bitterness and rage against our circumstances. I was pissed,
I was angry, I was hurt, I was guided. It
felt like somebody reached into my chest and ripped out
my heart.
Speaker 1 (13:26):
Imagine.
Speaker 2 (13:27):
You know, it's changed my whole life. Everything is different
now and forever will be. But I'm doing what I
can to move forward, walk on, to live a life
that ensures that I'm a good dad for Liam and
that Jake's legacy lives forever.
Speaker 1 (13:48):
Okay, I appreciate that. So so your book Walk On, right,
that's the only part you ever written?
Speaker 2 (13:58):
Yeah, I actually just I'm in the process of writing
another book, so hopefully that will be out one day soon.
Speaker 1 (14:06):
Okay, And any it's like a like an Eta on
the on the release.
Speaker 3 (14:11):
Not yeah, it's so early in the process.
Speaker 2 (14:13):
But uh, it's a different it's different, it's a novel,
So we'll see. But I'm I'm excited about it, and
keep you posted.
Speaker 1 (14:21):
Okay, I'm looking forward, looking forward, say too many younger
hit that, right, I hit something off, look forward too?
So what inspired so? So? What inspired you and got
you into being a speaker?
Speaker 3 (14:36):
So I went down.
Speaker 2 (14:38):
One of the scholarships we created was at the University
of South Carolina, where I went to school and where
Jake wanted to go to school college and follow my footsteps.
Speaker 3 (14:46):
So I wanted to find a way to get him to.
Speaker 2 (14:49):
South Carolina in spirit, and we ended up working with
Shane Beemer, the head football coach at the University of
South Carolina. We created a walk on scholarship there for
football player who exhibits many of the leadership qualities that
Jake had. And I went down in September of twenty
twenty one to award the first scholarship. And I spoke
(15:11):
to the entire team at like seven forty five in
the morning and all the coaches, like eighty five players
and I don't know how many coaches and staff members,
but I was given the platform to speak and award
that scholarship, and I typically was never thought of myself
as much of a public speaker. I was always the
guy behind the camera. I was a sports agent and
(15:32):
attorney and marketer, so my clients were always once in
the spotlight and on the camera.
Speaker 3 (15:37):
And that was more Jake style too.
Speaker 2 (15:39):
So getting up and speaking was never anything that I
thought I would be doing, but doing that day proved
to be incredibly meaningful. I really I was one of
the first days I felt real joy again, and that
had been a little over a year since Jake had passed,
and I saw the power of the scholarship and what
(16:03):
it meant to the recipient at that time, it was
a young man named Matthew Bailey, a long snapper, and
it led me to realize that this was kind of
my purpose moving forward, that I needed to help people,
and the way I help people is I write and
I talk and I share my experience to try to
get people to open up like you were talking about,
(16:25):
to share theirs and to get help where they need it,
to raise their hand when they don't want to, because
we all suffer, and no matter how it happens or
when it happens. Everyone has to find a way to
walk on in their lives. So knowing that there's others
out there is a way to open that up. And
we're all here to love one another and to lift
each other up. It's really that simple.
Speaker 1 (16:45):
Gerald, Okay, okay, let me thinking, I'll come here and
talk about the scholarship. So let'stically speaking, right, How do
you start a scholarship?
Speaker 2 (16:57):
Yeah, so you raise money or or if you have
the money, you wade a check. But we raised money.
The first scholarship we started is in South Dakota. Jake
took a church mission trip out there. It's one of
the poorest areas in the country, Pine Vieginian Reservation, and
there's an area on that reservation called Red Shirt Table,
(17:17):
very small area where Jake and his fellow youth peers
from church went out there for a couple of weeks
and did mission work, teaching them how to read and write,
having fun with them, teaching them life skills, just bringing
them joy. And Jake came home from that experience profoundly upset.
(17:39):
He saw the inequalities between how those children were living
in South Dakota and how he was living in Connecticut,
and he wanted to make a difference. He wanted to
help them, and he told me that the minute he
got off the bus, and he was planning to go
back in twenty twenty, COVID canceled that trip and then he.
Speaker 3 (17:56):
Died months later.
Speaker 2 (17:58):
So the first scholarship we created was for the children
out there with at Red Cloud Indian School who graduate
and need college's assistants to get to college. We've awarded
three scholarships out there. Then six months later we created
the South Carolina Scholarship, the Jake Panis walk On Scholarship
at South Carolina. The first one's the Jake Panis walk
On Scholarship at Red Cloud Indian School. And then the
(18:20):
third one was just created just last month in partnership
with the Boys and Girls Club here at Bridgeport, Connecticut
to help children there, and it's the Jake Panis walk
On Scholarship, and that helps again underserved, underprivileged children who
want to get to college in sanitize them with a
college scholarship.
Speaker 1 (18:40):
How did you raise the money for the scholarships.
Speaker 2 (18:43):
Well, the first one was raised because it was right
after Jake died and we were getting flowers. We didn't
need any more flowers, and so we put out that
we were starting the scholarship, and so people graciously and
generously donated a lot of money, so that one got
left launched by that.
Speaker 3 (18:59):
The second one in South Carolina did the same thing.
Speaker 2 (19:02):
I got a lot of national publicity and press around
the launch of that scholarship, and we quickly raised enough
money so it's in doubt it will live forever. And
then the third one was launched by a generous donation
by good friends who who wrote a really big check
to get the third one launched. And we'll start fundraising
(19:24):
for that one as well. And they're all on my
website Stephen Panis p A n US dot com. You
can read about them, learn about Jake, learn about the book,
learn about my public speaking or mentoring.
Speaker 3 (19:37):
Put all the informations.
Speaker 1 (19:38):
There right, and that's Stephenpanis dot com. It's s T
E P H E N p A n U S
dot com. A body, so check that out. One time
I'm saying what else? Well, quick brought up wealth.
Speaker 2 (19:52):
On the website, they can learn about the scholarship winners.
We've awarded seven scholarships in the last four years, so
they can you know, there's pictures of the kids, which
is really meaningful to a brief dad. Those each one
of those children now I say children, but they're young
men and women. They now carry a part of Jake
with them in their life's journey, and that's meaningful.
Speaker 1 (20:14):
Okay. The book Walk On where, like, where can we
find that?
Speaker 2 (20:20):
Yeah, it's available on Amazon, Barnes and Noble, target books
a million, all online.
Speaker 1 (20:27):
So it's only a virtual it's only virtual. No hard copy.
Speaker 2 (20:30):
There's some select Barnes and Nobles where it's been in
hard copy, but yeah, mostly online.
Speaker 1 (20:36):
Okay, so Barnes and Noble.
Speaker 2 (20:39):
You say you said Amazon, Yeah, most people get it
from Amazon, because isn't that where most people do all
the shopping?
Speaker 1 (20:45):
I mean I would, Yeah, I hate shopping like it's
because because I go mostly women, so moms, sisters, grandma's.
I would just be there shop. I would sit down,
express my feet while they just stop followers.
Speaker 3 (21:01):
Yeah, I'm with you. I'm not a big fan of
shopping either.
Speaker 1 (21:03):
There's yeah, my girlfriends and then I'm okay with that. Okay,
daughters all god yeah, well yeah, okay, what train and
thought here? Forgive me? Okay, uh but but but uh
so explain of being a mentor and a coach. So
how did that start? And explain, like, explain the role
(21:27):
that you play as that, like how are you a
mentor and how are you coaching? And how did you start?
Speaker 3 (21:31):
Yeah, so it's it.
Speaker 2 (21:34):
Honestly, it started with just raising my two boys and
then I've always been kind of a coach dad to them,
trying to instill positive traits, trying to inspire them and
guide them as best I can.
Speaker 3 (21:46):
But after Jake.
Speaker 2 (21:47):
Died and my book was published, I had a couple
of people parents reach out to me to have have
me talk to their children who were struggling with different issues,
and they were different ages. One is a student athlete
in college, and I was able to successfully really connect
with the kids, help them through their issue, get them
(22:10):
to see it from a fresh perspective, offers solutions to them,
and help guide them. Ultimately, the solutions come from them,
but because we all have to solve our own problems,
but just being a voice and an ear to listen
to them and a voice when they need to hear things.
And so it kind of took off from that and
it's kind of grown and so now I've helped multiple
(22:32):
n C double A student athletes as well as just
regular students pretty much from like eighth grade up to college.
Speaker 1 (22:40):
Okay, that's the called. Remember remember before we got gone
a year, I was gonna still together. I forgot one
thing forgetting and if my phone by let's a question
on it? Yeah it was charging. But now sorry, so
(23:08):
now so now with the point where I take the listeners. Right,
so I forgot how I've got how long in that
Brands restarched this interview. But since that time, you know,
I put out there on social media? Oh, real quick,
before I get into it, right, are you on social media? Like?
Are you on are you on social media? Like on?
Speaker 2 (23:26):
Yeah, I'm on Twitter, Instagram, LinkedIn Facebook?
Speaker 1 (23:30):
All right, so ibably follow my boy Stephen. Say it again.
I don't want to get wrong.
Speaker 3 (23:35):
Stephen panis Hannah's I got the.
Speaker 1 (23:37):
Cap Stephen follow him on LinkedIn, Instagram, Instagram, Twitter. Okay,
what's your Instagram handle? Because I tried to find it.
Speaker 3 (23:47):
But Instagram is Stephen b.
Speaker 2 (23:50):
My middle initial panis all right, and all the other
ones are just at Stephen panis.
Speaker 1 (23:55):
Followed that real quick. I'm trying to see a fine
My listener questions here at the hotline nine one seven
eight ninety five six. You could submit your questions or
comments live or not live. Also, I'm also prepped of
phone calls and voicemails as well. So yeah, but okay,
(24:16):
my boy Chris Fumbing, regular listener, regular contribute to the show.
He has a bunch of questions. Let me see, for Steven,
besides writing a book about your lost child, how has
your life changed between that that that experience and being
professional in your expertise of your sport.
Speaker 3 (24:40):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (24:41):
So I loft my job last May. I needed to
take some time to reflect and reboot launch my own agency.
So that's been a change.
Speaker 3 (24:55):
Help.
Speaker 2 (24:55):
My perspective on life is much different. How I lead
my life as much different. I don't plan a head
that far. I live each day to the max because
that's all I really promised is you know this moment.
So I embrace the moments, the joys that happen in life.
I'm deeply connected to fellow humans in a way that
(25:20):
I probably wasn't. I think that's one of the if
your word benefits of something like this is that your
heart gets absolutely blown to smithereens and in order for
it to rebuild, and when it does rebuild, it it
is a different heart and it's one that connects you.
You know, I can when I look at people, I
can see their pain and feel their pain. And I
(25:42):
always say that it's like I see everyone We're in
an invisible backpack, and in it they're carrying their own
pain and suffering. And so I'm able to relate to
people in a way that I probably wasn't necessarily able
to as deeply as before.
Speaker 1 (25:57):
Okay, real quick, before I bought to Chris Brandon's asking,
He asked you to describe to tell me about your
sports background. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (26:10):
So, I've been born a lot of hats.
Speaker 2 (26:13):
I've been a sports Asian, and I've represented NFL players,
super Bowl champion, Pro Bowl player, four time winner of
the Indy five hundred International Tennis Superstars, worked in a
variety of different sports, and now I've represented. Now I'm
representing some TV personality, sports TV personality, some companies, filmmakers, authors.
Speaker 1 (26:39):
Did you go to school for sports management.
Speaker 2 (26:42):
No. I went to school at the University of South
Carolina and I was a Political science International Studies major.
But I worked for the Athletic department while I was there.
So I got like a feel like I got a
second degree because I worked in sports information and knew
then what I knew when I left for college what
I was going to be or what I wanted to do.
I was going to be involved in sports somehow, some way,
(27:04):
and I started in sports pr. I worked for legendary
publicists Joey Golstein in New York, and that launched really
South Carolina launched it. But that was my first professional
job out of college, and it just went from there.
I went back to law school so I could. I
wanted to be an at turned sports attorney, and I was.
I don't practice law anymore, but I have that all
(27:26):
the tools and skills.
Speaker 1 (27:27):
Still, what kind of loggy practice sports business?
Speaker 3 (27:32):
Arts represented artists?
Speaker 1 (27:34):
Okay, okay, I mean like musicians, stuff like that, like
that type of art.
Speaker 2 (27:40):
No visual artists, painters, sculptors. I didn't rep musicians. Was
kind of a different niche, different silo. I never really
got into that space. I love music, but never got
into that one.
Speaker 1 (27:51):
I'm curious how, like, so directly speaking, right, how did
that work? Like what kind of legal do artists have? Well?
Speaker 2 (27:58):
They you know, it's funny, a lot of artists. Obviously
you hear the term starving artists, right. So usually when
you start out with them, they don't have a lot,
but they need all kinds of help. They need help
with their their least agreement with their landlord.
Speaker 3 (28:11):
Right.
Speaker 2 (28:12):
They need help with a will or trust, you know,
living will on a regular will, what happens if something
happens to them. They need advice on how to protect
their artwork, right, Copyright trademark, So there's a lot of
different facets. They need to form a company to protect themselves.
So maybe to help the help themselves tax wise, So
there's a lot of different facets of the law that
(28:34):
get incorporated into representing an athlete. Then you negotiate contracts
for them, so there's negotiating skills. Then there's I brought
my PR and marketing background to the table as well,
so I handle the PR and their marketing, getting them sponsorships,
strategic partnerships.
Speaker 1 (28:50):
Okay, I got two last questions. Open them for Chris
by the way, Chris blumbing, Chris ya, or teach others
about your sports experience.
Speaker 2 (29:04):
If they're if there's interest in that. Yes, most of
the time, again it's it's student athletes coming to me
with an issue, whether that's anxiety, whether they're struggling with
balancing school, sports life, whether they have ADHD, whether they
just need direction, whether they do you know, there's a
(29:27):
lot of issues. But yeah, career wise, I'm happy, and
I do counsel people on careers, especially young people when
they're you know, eighteen, nineteen twenty, trying to figure out
what they want to be and what they want to do. Yeah,
that's a part of it. You know, you want to
direct people in the right way. But usually they know
where they just need a guide. They kind of know
intuitively what they want to do. They just need a
(29:49):
guide to help them get there, to make the right steps,
to make the right choices.
Speaker 1 (29:53):
I'm paraphrasing this here, but do you so like so
have you ever like.
Speaker 3 (30:00):
Coach or what?
Speaker 1 (30:02):
Was there a word? What's a word I'm thinking of
coach or that give or gave it advice or insights
based on your experience as a father who lost their child.
Speaker 2 (30:13):
All the time, I get a lot of people reaching
out to me now because of the book and my talks.
I just met with a young man last Saturday morning
who lost his father a week ago, and he needed
to talk to somebody, and he reached out to me
and asked if i'd meet with him, and I said,
of course. So I went and met with him, and
I'll probably see him again in the next coming weeks.
(30:37):
But yeah, I reached out to a lot of people,
connect with them. I'm transported right back to my own tragedy.
When I hear of obviously have a parent who lost
a child, it breaks my heart. I know the pain
and the anguish and the just the level of trauma.
Speaker 3 (30:56):
That they're immersed in. And I wouldn't worsh upon any soul.
Speaker 2 (30:59):
So yeah, like I said, I I gain meaning and
purpose in my life now from helping others.
Speaker 1 (31:07):
Okay, I appreciate that. Appreciate that. So it's what I
want to reach out to you, right, will be the
best way.
Speaker 3 (31:14):
How Yeah, you can contact me.
Speaker 2 (31:16):
There's a contact page on my website so they can
shoot me an email.
Speaker 1 (31:19):
It's all there, all right, Stephen, I'm sorry dot com.
I'm sorry Gerald path dot com again. Anybody go to
stephenpants dot com real quick before I wrap up, before
I close anything else, wanna plug real quick.
Speaker 2 (31:40):
I'll be given a talk on a few weeks in
Atlanta and but otherwise the book, I mean, the proceeds
of the book support the Jake Pannis walk On Scholarships.
I don't profit off it. So you know, when you
buy the book, it's it's a good read. It's a
powerful read. I think it's one that will make you
rethink your priorities in life, what values, what you value most,
and how you should be living your life, and maybe
(32:01):
help you become the best version of yourself. It's not
just for people who've lost someone in death again, with
grief happens in a variety of ways. So it's a
good read and it's you know, it's got great endorsements
from the likes of Jim Rome, Marty Smith, Kyle Brandt
from the NFL Network, Lindsay's Arniac, Fox Sports, so a
(32:25):
lot of known personalities have endorsed it, and it's it's
been well received, and I'm really happy to know that
it's out there and it's helping people.
Speaker 1 (32:35):
Okay, okay, well that said, we're done here, all right.
I want to say real quick, I I really do
appreciate you come on the show. It's been very it's
been very very I'm gonna say a very warm like
half an hour. My tongue. Very yeah, it's been a
(32:57):
very enlightening half an hour. It's been a great, pleasant,
very pleasant happening. We're a very cool, pleasant guy. I
apparci you having on do that time anytime you want
to do this again. I'm saying, I appreciate it, man,
real quick, real quick, right, I like uh I had.
Alec Hammer was on the show a few weeks ago.
(33:19):
He said it, I'm gonna say it right, and I'm
pretty sure you would agree and you would say it
as well. You know, if you're if you if you
need help, if he's wanting to talk to right, come
talk to If you know how to find him, contact them,
call Alec Alec Hammer. If you know how to find me,
contact me right now, one seven five six, call me
(33:41):
like I was out here you well, and most likely
I will direct you to talk space, you know, to
get the best help you can. I'm saying because I'm
not professional. You know, I'm saying like, I'll try to
beat it for you, but I'm not professional. And if
again I can't just en, I'll say I'll keep it myself.
If you need help, Okay, something ashamed of you know
(34:02):
what I'm saying exactly. Oh, I appreciate that. Yeah, and
I guess that's it for now. But like but like
I always say, right, I'm gonna be back on I
believe Sunday at five Eastern fight special guest, my every guest,
(34:22):
uh Ant Antonio Alo. I kept the last name. I'm
sorry his last name since today, I don't know what's
going on. He's a martial artist. We'll click are you
Are you into or follow martial arts?
Speaker 2 (34:36):
I follow the UFC a little bit, but yeah, okay,
I used to live in Vegas.
Speaker 1 (34:40):
So the point, the point we're plugging that at this
specific time was set up by closer line, which is
always until that time. Twice you again, please please do
me a favor, not yourself, do me a favor. Stay safe,
stay out of trouble, and I'll see you back here
Sunday at five. All right, pace out, man, alright, alright, bye,
(35:02):
be out of here. Ah hm
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