Chapter 3 - Gotama - Siddhartha - Hermann Hesse

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Episode Transcript

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Chapter three Gautama. In the townas Savathi, every child knew the name
of the Exalted Buddha, and everyhouse was prepared to fill the arms dish
of Gautama's disciples. The silently beggingones near the town was Gatama's favorite place

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to stay, the grove of Jetavana, which the rich merchant Anatha Pindika,
an obedient worshiper of the Exalted One, had given him and his people for
a gift. All tales and answerswhich the two young ascetics had received in
their search for Gatama's abode, hadpointed them towards this area, and arriving

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at Savathi. In the very firsthouse, before the door of which they
stopped to beg food has been offeredto them, and they accepted the food,
and Saddhartha asked the woman who handedthem the food, We would like
to know, charitable one, wherethe Buddha dwells, the most venerable one.
For we are two Samanas from theforest and have come to see him,

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the perfected One, and to hearthe teachings from his mouth. Quoth
the woman here, you have trulycome to the right place, You samanas
from the forest. You should knowin Jetavana, in the garden of Anatha
Pindika is where the Exalted One dwells. There, you pilgrim, shall spend

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the night, for there is enoughspace for the innumerable who flock here to
hear the teachings from his mouth.This made Govinda happy and full of joy.
He exclaimed, Well, so thuswe have reached our destination and our
path has come to an end.But tell us, o, mother of

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the pilgrims, do you know him, the Buddha? Have you seen him
with your own eyes? Quoth thewoman. Many times I have seen him,
the Exalted One. On many daysI have seen him walking through the
alleys in silence, wearing his yellowcloak, presenting his arms dish in silence

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at the doors of the houses,leaving with a filled dish. Delightedly,
Govinda listened and wanted to ask andhear much more, but Siddartha urged him
to walk on. They thanked andleft and hardly had to ask for directions,
for rather many pilgrims and monks aswell from Gautama's community were on their

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way to the Jetavana, and sincethey reached it at night, there were
constant arrivals, shouts and talk ofthose who sought shelter and got it.
The two Samanas, accustomed to lifein the forest, found quickly and without
making any noise, a place tostay, and rested there until the morning.

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At sunrise, they saw with astonishmentwhat a large crowd of believers and
curious people had spent the night hereon all paths of the marvelous grove.
Monks walked in yellow robes under thetrees. They sat here and there in
deep contemplation or in a conversation aboutspiritual matters. The shady gardens looked like

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a city full of people, bustlinglike bees. The majority of the monks
went out with their arms dish tocollect food in town for their lunch,
the only meal of the day.The buddher himself, the enlightened One,
was also in the habit of takinghis walk to beg in the morning.

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Siddartha saw him, and he instantlyrecognized him, as if a god had
pointed him out to him. Hesaw him, a simple man in a
yellow robe, bearing the arms dishin his hand, walked silently. Look
here, said Arthur, said quietlyto Govinda. This one is the Buddha.

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Attentively, Govinda looked at the monkin the yellow robe, who seemed
to be in no way different fromthe hundreds of other monks, and soon
Govinda also realized this is the one, and they followed him and observed him.
The Buddha went on his way,modestly and deep in his thoughts.

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His calm face was neither happy norsad. It seemed to smile gently and
inwardly, with a hidden smile,quiet calm, somewhat resembling a healthy child.
The Buddha walked, wore the robe, and placed his feet, just
as all of his monks did accordingto a precise rule. But his face

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and his walk, his quietly loweredglance, his quietly dangling hand, and
even every finger of his quietly danglinghand expressed peace, expressed perfection, did
not search, did not imitate,breathed softly in an unwithering calm, in

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an unwithering light, an untouchable peace. Thus Gautama walked toward the town to
collect arms, and the two Samanasrecognized him solely by the perfection of his
calm, by the quietness of hisappearance, in which there was no searching,
no desire, no imitation, noeffort to be seen, only light

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and peace. To day, we'llhear the teachings from his mouth, said
Govinda. Sir Arthur did not answer. He felt little curiosity for the teachings.
He did not believe that they wouldteach him anything new. But he
had, just as Govinda had heardthe contents of this Buddha's teachings again and

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again, though these reports only representedsecond or third hand information. But attentively
he looked at Gautama's head, hisshoulders, his feet, his quietly dangling
hand, and it seemed to himas if every joint of every finger of

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this hand was of these teachings,spoke of, breathed, of inhaled,
the fragrance of glistened of the truth. This man, this Buddha, was
truthful down to the gesture of hislast finger. This man was holy.
Never before Siddhartha had venerated a personso much, Never before he had loved

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a person as much as this one. They both followed the Buddha until they
reached the town, and then returnedin silence, for they themselves intended to
abstain from food on this day.They saw Gautama returning what he ate could
not even have satisfied a bird's appetite, And they saw him retiring into the

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shade of the mango trees. Butin the evening, when the heat cooled
down and everyone in the camp startedto bustle about and gathered around, they
heard the Buddha teaching. They heardhis voice, and it was also perfected,
was of perfect calmness, was fullof peace. Gautama taught the teachings

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of suffering, of the origin ofsuffering, of the way to relieve suffering.
Calmly and clearly. His quiet speechflowed on suffering. Was life full
of suffering, was the world.But salvation from suffering had been found.

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Salvation was obtained by him who wouldwalk the path of the Buddha. With
a soft yet firm voice. TheExalted One spoke, taught the four main
doctrines, taught the eightfold path.Patiently, he went the usual path of
the teachings, of the examples ofthe repetitions. Brightly and quietly, his

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voice hovered over the listeners like alight, like a starry night. When
the Buddha Knight had already fallen endedhis speech. Men near pilgrim stepped forward
and asked to be accepted into thecommunity, sought refuge in the teachings,
and Gautama accepted them by saying,you have heard the teachings. Well it

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has come to you. Well thustjoin us and walk in holiness to put
an end to all suffering. Behold. Then Govinda, the shy one,
also stepped forward and spoke, Ialso take my refuge in the Exalted One
and his teachings, And he askedto be accepted into the community of the

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disciples, and was accepted. Rightafterwards, when the Buddha had retired for
the night, Govinda turned to Siddharthaand spoke eagerly, Siddhartha, it is
not my place to scold you.We have both heard the Exalted One,
and we have both perceived the teachings. Govinda has heard the teachings, he

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has taken refuge in it. Butyou, my honored friend, don't you
also want to walk the path ofsalvation? Would you want to hesitate?
Do you want to wait any longer? Said Arthur, awakened as if he
had been asleep when he heard Govinda'swords for a long time. He looked

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into Govinda's face. Then he spokequietly in a voice without mockery. Govinda,
my friend, Now you have takenthis step. Now you have chosen
this path always, Oh Govinda,you've been my friend. You've always walked
one step behind me. Often Ihave thought, won't Govinda for once also

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take a step by himself without meout of his own soul. Behold,
now you've turned into a man andare choosing your path for yourself. I
wish that you would go it upto its end, oh, my friend,
that you shall find salvation. Govinda, not completely understanding it yet,

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repeated his question in an impatient tone. Speak up, I beg you,
my dear, tell me, sinceit could not be any other way,
that you, also, my learnedfriend, will take your refuse with the
exalted Buddha said. Arthur placed hishand on Vinda's shoulder. You failed to
hear my good wish for you,oh Govinda, I am repeating it.

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I wish that you would go thispath up to its end, that you
shall find salvation. In this moment, Govinda realized that his friend had left
him, and he started to weep. Siddhartha, he exclaimed, lamentingly,

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said Arthur kindly spoke to him,don't forget, Govinda, that you are
now one of the Samanas of theBuddha. You have renounced your home and
your parents, renounced your birth andpossessions, renounced your free will, renounced
all friendship. This is what theteachings require, This is what the Exalted

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One wants, This is what youwanted for yourself. Tomorrow, oh Govinda,
I'll leave you for a long time. The friends continued walking in the
grove for a long time. Theylay there and found no sleep, and
over and over again. Govinda urgedhis friend he should tell him why he

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would not want to seek refuge inGattama's teachings. What fault he would find
in these teachings? But said Arthurturned him away every time and said,
be content, Govinda, very goodare the teachings of the Exalted One?
How could I find a fault inthem? Very early in the morning,

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a follower of Buddha, one ofhis oldest monks, went through the garden
and called all those to him whohad, as novices taken their refuge in
the teachings, to dress them upin the yellow robe, and to instruct
them in the first teachings and dutiesof their position. Then Govinda broke loose,

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embraced once again his childhood friend,and left with the novices. But
sid Arthur walked through the grove lostin thought. Then he happened to meet
Gautama, the Exalted One, Andwhen he greeted him with respect, and
the Buddha's glance was so full ofkindness and calm, the young man summoned

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his courage and asked the Venerable Onefor the permission to talk to him.
Silently, the Exalted One nodded hisapproval. Quoth said Arthur, yesterday,
oh Exalted One, I had beenprivileged to hear your wondrous teachings together with
my friend. I had come fromAfar to hear your teachings. And now

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my friend is going to stay withyour people. He has taken his refuge
with you. But I will againstart on my pilgrimage as you please.
The veneraal Woe spoke politely. Toobold is my speech, said Arthur,
continued, but I do not wantto leave the Exalted One without having honestly

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told him my thoughts. Does itplease the Venerable One to listen to me
for one moment longer. Silently,the Buddha nodded his approval. Quoth said
Arthur, One thing, oh mostvenerable one, I have admired in your
teaching. Most of all, everythingin your teachings is perfectly clear, is

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proven. You are presenting the worldas a perfect chain, a chain which
is never and nowhere broken, aneternal chain, the links of which are
causes and effects. Never before thishas been seen so clearly, Never before
this has been presented so irrefutably.Truly, the heart of every Brahman has

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to be stronger with love once hehas seen the world through your teachings,
perfectly connect, without gaps, clearas a crystal, not depending on chance,
not depending on gods, whether itmay be good or bad, whether
living according to it would be sufferingor joy. I do not wish to

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discuss. Possibly this is not essential, but the uniformity of the world,
That everything which happens is connected,That the great and the small things are
all encompassed by the same forces oftime, by the same law of causes,
of coming into being and of dying. This is what shines brightly out

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of your exalted teachings, Oh perfectedone, But according to your very own
teachings, This unity and necessary sequenceof all things is nevertheless broken in one
place through a small gap. Thisworld of unity is invaded by some alien,

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something new, something which had notbeen there before, and which cannot
be demonstrated and cannot be proven.These are your teachings of overcoming the world
of salvation, that with this smallgap, with this small breach, the
entire eternal and uniform law of theworld is breaking apart again and becomes void.

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Please forgive me for expressing the subjectionquietly. Gautama had listened to him
unmoved. Now he spoke the perfectedone with his kind, with his polite
and clear voice. You've heard theteachings, oh son of a Brahman,
and good for you that you've thoughtabout it thus deeply. You've found a

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gap in it, an error.You should think about this further. But
be warned, oh seeker of knowledge, of the thicket of opinions. Of
arguing about words, there is nothingto opinions. They may be beautiful or
ugly, smart or foolish. Everyonecan support them or discard them. But

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the teachings you've heard from me areno opinion, and their goal is not
to explain the world to those whoseek knowledge. They have a different goal.
Their goal is salvation from suffering.This is what Gautama teaches nothing else.

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I wish that you, oh ExaltedOne, would not be angry with
me, said the young man.I have not spoken to you like this
to argue with you, to argueabout words. You are truly right.
There is little two opinions. Butlet me say this one more thing.
I have not doubted in you fora single moment. I have not doubted

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for a single moment that you areBuddha, that you have reached the goal,
the highest goal towards which so manythousands of Brahmans and the sons of
Brahmans are on their way. Youhave found salvation from death. It has
come to you in the course ofyour own search, on your own path,
through thoughts, through meditation, throughrealizations, through enlightenment. It has

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not come to you by means ofteachings. And thus is my thought,
Oh Exalted One, nobody will obtainsalvation by means of teachings. You will
not be able to convey and sayto anybody, Oh venerable One, in
words and through teachings, what hashappened to you in the hour of enlightenment.

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The teachings of the Enlightened Buddha containmuch. It teaches many to live
righteously, to avoid evil. Butthere is one thing that these so clear,
these so venerable teachings do not contain. They do not contain the mystery
of what the Exalted One has experiencedfor himself, he alone among hundreds of

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thousands. This is what I havethought and realized when I have heard the
teachings. This is why I amcontinuing my travels, not to seek other
better teachings, for I know thereare none, but to depart from all
teachings and all teachers, and toreach my goal by myself, or to

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die. But often I'll think ofthis day, oh Exalted One, and
of this hour when my eyes behelda holy man. The Buddha's eyes quietly
looked to the ground, quietly,in perfect equanimity. His inscrutable face was
smiling. I wish the Venerable Onespoke slowly, that your thoughts shall not

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be in error, that you shallreach the goal. But tell me,
have you seen the multitude of mysamanas, my many brothers who have taken
refuge in the teachings, And doyou believe, oh stranger, oh Samana,
do you believe that it would bebetter for them to abandon the teachings
and to return into the life ofthe world and of desires. Far is

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such a thought from my mind,exclaimed said Arthur. I wish that they
shall stay with the teachings, thatthey shall reach their goal. It is
not my place to judge another person'slife. Only for myself. For myself
alone, I must decide, Imust choose. I must refuse. Salvation

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from the self is what we Samanassearch for, Oh exalted One. If
I merely were one of your disciples, Oh venerable One, I'd fear that
it might happen to me that onlyseemingly, only deceptively, myself would be
calmed and be redeemed, but thatin truth it would live on and grow.

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For then I had replaced myself withthe teachings, my duty to follow
you, my love for you andthe community of the monks. With half
of a smile, with an unwaveringopenness and kindness, Gautama looked into the
stranger's eyes and bid him to leavewith a hardly noticeable gesture. You are

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wise, oh Samana, the venerableone spoke, You know how to talk
wisely, my friend, but beaware of too much wisdom. The Buddha
turned away, and his glance andhalf of a smile remained forever etched in
sad Arthur's memory. I have neverbefore seen such a person glance and smile,

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sit and walk this way, hethought. Truly, I wished to
be able to lance and smile,sit and walk this way too, Thus
free, thus venerable, thus concealed, thus open, thus childlike and mysterious.
Truly, only a person who hassucceeded in reaching the innermost part of

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his self would glance and walk thisway. Well, So I also will
seek to reach the innermost part ofmyself. I saw a man, said
Arthur, thought, a single manbefore whom I would have to lower my
glance. I do not want tolower my glance before any other, not

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before any other. No teachings willentice me any more. Since this man's
teachings have not enticed me. Iam deprived by the Buddha, thought,
said Arthur. I am deprived,and even more he has given to me.
He has deprived me of my friend, the one who had believed in

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me and now believes in him,who had been my shadow and is now
Gautama's shadow. But he has givenme Saddhartha myself. End of chapter three,