Chapter 5 - Kamala - Siddhartha - Hermann Hesse

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Episode Transcript

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Second part, Chapter five, dedicatedto Wilhelm Gundert, my cousin in Japan.
Chapter five Kamala sad Arthur learned somethingnew on every step of his path,
for the world was transformed and hisheart was enchanted. He saw the

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sun rising over the mountains with theirforests, and setting over the distant beach
with its palm trees. At night. He saw the stars in the sky
in their fixed positions, and thecrescent of the moon floating like a boat
in the blue. He saw trees, stars, animals, clouds, rainbows,

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rocks, herbs, flowers, streamand river, the glistening dew in
the bushes in the morning, distanthigh mountains which were blue and pale.
Birds sang, and bees wind silverishlyblue through the rice field. All of
this, a thousandfold and colorful hadalways been there, always. The sun

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and the moon had shone always,the rivers had roared, and the bees
had buzzed. But in former times, all of this had been nothing more
to Siddhartha than a fleeting, deceptiveveil before his eyes, looked upon in
distrust, destined to be penetrated anddestroyed by thought, since it was not

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the essential existence, Since this essencelay beyond, on the other side of
the visible. But now his liberatedeyes stayed on this side. He saw
and became aware of the visible,sought to be at home in this world,
did not seek for the true essence, did not aim at a world

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beyond. Beautiful was this world,looking at it thus without searching, thus
simply, thus childlike. Beautiful werethe moon and the stars. Beautiful was
the stream and the banks, theforest and the rocks, the goat and

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the gold beetle, the flower andthe butterfly. Beautiful and lovely. It
was thus to walk through the worldthus childlike, thus awoken, thus open
to what is near, thus withoutdistrust. Differently, the sun burnt the

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head, differently, the shade ofthe forest cooled him down. Differently,
the stream and the cistern, thepumpkin and the banana tasted short. Were
the days short, the nights.Every hour sped away like a sail on
the sea. And under the sailwas a ship of treasures, full of

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joy. Said Arthur. Saw agroup of apes moving through the high canopy
of the forest, high in thebranches, and heard their savage, greedy
song. Sid Arthur saw a malesheep following a female one and mating with
her. In a lake of reeds, he saw the pike hungrily hunting for

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its dinner, propelling themselves away fromit in fear. Wriggling and sparkling.
The young fish jumped in droves outof the water. The scent of strength
and passion came forcefully out of thehasty eddies of the water, which the
pike stirred up, impetuously hunting.All of this had always existed, and

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he had not seen it. Hehad not been with it. Now he
was with it. He was partof it. Light and shadow ran through
his eyes, stars and moon ranthrough his heart. On the way,
SidD Arthur also remembered everything he hadexperienced in the garden Jetavana, the teaching

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he had heard there, the divineBuddha, the farewell to Govinda, the
conversation with the Exalted One. Againhe remembered his own words. He had
spoken to the Exalted One, everyword, and with astonishment he became aware
of the fact that there he hadsaid things which he had not really known

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yet at this time. What hehad said to Gautama, his the Buddha's
treasure and secret, was not theteaching, but the unexpressible and not teachable,
which he had experienced in the hourof its enlightenment. It was nothing
but this very thing what he nowbegan to experience. Now he had to

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experience his self. It is truethat he had already known for a long
time that his self was Utman inits essence, bearing the same eternal characteristics
as Brahman. But never had hereally found this self, because he had

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wanted to capture it in the netof thought, with the body definitely not
being the self and not the spectacleof the senses. So it also was
not the thought, not the rationalmind, not the learned wisdom, not
the learned ability to draw conclusions andto develop previous thoughts into new ones.

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No, this world of thought wasalso still on this side, and nothing
could be achieved by the random selfof the senses if the random self of
the thoughts and learned knowledge was fattened. On the other hand, both the

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thoughts as well as the senses werepretty things. The ultimate meaning was hidden
behind both of them. Both hadto be listened to, both had to
be played with. Both, neitherhad to be scorned nor overestimated from both.
The secret voices of the innermost truthhad to be attentively perceived. He

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wanted to strive for nothing except forwhat the voice commanded him to strive for,
dwell on nothing except where the voicewould advise him to do so.
Why had Gautama at that time,in the hour of all hours, sat
down under the bow tree where theenlightenment hit him? He had heard a

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voice, a voice in his ownheart, which had commanded him to seek
rest under this tree. And hehad neither preferred self castigation, offerings,
ablutions, nor prayer, neither foodnor drink, neither sleep nor dream.
He had obeyed the voice to obeylike this, not to an external command,

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only to the voice to be readylike this. This was good,
This was necessary. Nothing else wasnecessary. In the night, when he
slept in the straw heart of aferryman by the river, Siddhartha had a
dream. Govinda was standing in frontof him, dressed in the yellow robe

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of an ascetic sad was how Govindalooked like? Sadly, he asked,
why have you forsaken me? Atthis, he embraced Govinda, wrapped his
arms around him, and as hewas pulling him close to his chest,
and kissed him. It was notGovinda anymore, but a woman, and

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a full breast popped out of thewoman's dress, at which Siddhartha lay and
drank sweetly and strongly tasted the milkfrom this breast. It tasted of woman
and man, of sun, andforest, of animal and flower, of

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every fruit, of every joyful desire. It intoxicated him and rendered him unconscious.
When Siddartha woke up, the paleriver shimmered through the door of the
hut, and in the forest adark call of an owl resounded deeply and
pleasantly. When the day began,Siddartha asked his host, the Fairyman,

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to get him across the river.The ferryman got him across the river on
his bamboo raft. The wide watershimmered reddishly in the light of the morning.
This is a beautiful river, hesaid to his companion. Yes,
said the ferryman, a very beautifulriver. I love it more than anything.

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Often I have listened to it.Often I have looked into its eyes,
and always I have learned from it. Much can be learned from a
river. I thank you, mybenefactor, spoke said Arthur, disembarking on
the other side of the river.I have no gift I could give you

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for your hospitality, my dear,and also no payment for your work.
I am a man without a home, a son of a Brahman and a
Samana. I did see it,spoke the ferryman, and I haven't expected
any payment from you, and nogifts, which would be the custom for

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guests to bear. You will giveme the gift another time, do you
think so, asked sid Arthur,amusedly. Surely this two I have learned
from the river. Everything is comingback you too, Samana will come back
now. Farewell. Let your friendshipbe my reward. Commemorate me when you'll

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make your offerings to the gods.Smiling, they parted. Smiling. Sid
Arthur was happy about the friendship andthe kindness of the fairyman. He is
like Govinda, he thought, witha smile. All I meet on my
path are like Govinda. All arethankful, though they are the ones who

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would have a right to receive thanks. All are submissive, All would like
to be friends, like to obey, think little, like children are all
people. At about noon, hecame through a village. In front of
the mud cottages, children were rollingabout in the street were playing with pumpkin

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seeds and seashells, screamed and wrestled, but they all timidly fled from the
unknown Samana. In the end ofthe village, the path led through a
stream, and by the side ofthe stream, a young woman was kneeling
and washing clothes. When SidD Arthurgreeted her, she lifted her head and

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looked up to him with a smile, so that he saw the white in
her eyes glistening. He called outa blessing to her, as is the
custom among travelers, and asked howfar he still had to go to reach
the large city. Then she gotup and came to him beautifully. Her

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wet mouth was shimmering in her youngface. She exchanged humorous banter with him,
asked whether he had eaten already,and whether it was true that the
Samanas slept alone in the forest atnight and were not allowed to have any
women with them. While talking,she put her left foot on his right
one and made a movement as awoman does. Who would want to initiate

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that kind of sexual pleasure with aman, which the text books call climbing
a tree? Said Arthur felt hisblood heating up, and since in this
moment he had to think of hisdream again, he bent slightly down to
the woman and kissed with his lipsthe brown nipple of her breast. Looking

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up, he saw her face smiling, full of lust, and her eyes
with contracted pupils, begging with desire. Siddartha also felt desire and felt the
source of his sexuality moving. Butsince he had never touched a woman before,

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he hesitated for a moment while hishands were already prepared to reach out
for her. And in this momenthe heard, shuddering with awe, the
voice of his innermost self, andthis voice said no. Then all charms

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disappeared from the young woman's smiling face. He no longer saw anything else but
the damp glance of a female animalin heat. Politely, he petted her
cheek, turned away from her,and disappeared from the disappointed woman with light
steps into the bamboo wood. Onthis day, he reached the large city

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before the evening and was happy,for he felt the need to be among
people. For a long time hehad lived in the forest and the straw
hut of the fairy man, inwhich he had slept that night had been
the first roof for a long timehe had had over his head before the

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city. In a beautifully fenced grove, the traveler came across a small group
of servants, both male and female, carrying baskets in their midst Carried by
four servants in an ornamental sedan chair, sat a woman, the mistress,
on red pillows under a colorful canopy. Siddartha stopped at the entrance to the

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pleasure garden and watched the parade,saw the servants, the maids, the
baskets, saw the sedan chair,and saw the lady in it, under
black hair which made to tower highon her head. He saw a very
fair, very delicate, very smartface, a rightly red mouth like a

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freshly cracked fig, eyebrows which werewell tended and painted in a high arch,
smart and watchful dark eyes, aclear, tall neck rising from a
green and golden garment, resting fairhands, long and thin, with wide

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golden bracelets over the wrists. SidArthur saw how beautiful she was, and
his heart rejoiced. He bowed deeplywhen the sedan chair came closer, and
straightening up again, he looked atthe fair charming face read for a moment
in the smart eyes with the higharcs above, breathed in a slight fragrance

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he did not know. With asmile, the beautiful woman nodded for a
moment and disappeared into the grove,and then the servant as well. Thus
I am entering this city, saidArthur thought, with a charming omen.
He instantly felt drawn into the grove, and he thought about it. And

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only now he became aware of howthe servants and maids had looked at him
at the entrance, how despicable,how distrustful, how rejecting. I am
still a Samana, he thought,I am still an ascetic and beggar.
I must not remain like this.I will not be able to enter the

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grove like this, and he laughed. The next person who came along this
path, he asked about the groveand for the name of the woman,
and was told that this was thegrove of Cumala, the famous Courtizan,
and that aside from the grove,she owned a house in the city.

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Then he entered the city. Nowhe had a goal. Pursuing his goal,
he allowed the city to suck himin, drifted through the flow of
the streets, stood still on thesquares, rested on the stairs of stone
by the river. When the eveningcame, he made friends with a barber's

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assistant whom he had seen working inthe shade of an arch in a building,
whom he had found again praying ina temple of Vishnu, whom he
had told about stories of Vishnu andthe Lakshmi. Among the boats by the
river. He slept this night andearly in the morning, before the first
customers came into his shop, hehad the barber's assistant shave his beard and

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cut his hair, comb his hairand anoint it with fine oil. Then
he went to take his bath inthe river. When late in the afternoon,
beautiful Kamala approached her grove in hersedan chair, Siddatha was standing at
the entrance, made a bow andreceived the quartzan's greeting. But that servant,

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who walked at the very end ofher train, he motioned to him
and asked him to inform his mistressthat a young Brahman would wish to talk
to her. After a while,the servant returned, asked him who had
been waiting to follow him, conductedhim who was following him without a word

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into a pavilion where Kamala was lyingon a couch and left him alone with
her. Weren't you already standing outthere yesterday greeting me, asked Kamala.
It's true that I've already seen andgreeted you yesterday. And didn't you yesterday

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wear a beard and long hair anddust in your hair? You have observed,
well, you have seen everything.You have seen Siddhatha, the son
of a Brahman who has left hishome to become a samana, and who
has been a samana for three years. But now I have left that path

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and came into this city. Andthe first one I met, even before
I had entered the city, wasyou to say this, I have come
to you. Oh Kamala, youare the first woman whom Siddhartha is not
addressing with his eyes turned to theground. Never again, I want to

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turn my eyes to the ground whenI am coming across a beautiful woman.
Kamala smiled and played with her fanof peacock's feathers and asked, and only
to tell me this. Siddhartha hascome to me to tell you this and
to thank you for being so beautiful, and if it doesn't displease you,

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Kamala, I would like to askyou to be my friend and teacher,
for I know nothing yet of thatart which you have mastered in the highest
degree. At this, Kamala laughedaloud. Never before this has happened to
me, my friend, that aSamana from the forest came to me and

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wanted to learn from me. Neverbefore this has happened to me, that
a samana came to me with longhair and an old torn loincloth. Many
young men come to me, andthere are also sons of Brahmans among them.
But they come in beautiful clothes,They come in fine shoes, they

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have perfume in their hair and moneyin their pouches. This is oh Samana.
How the young men are like whocome to me, quoth Saddhartha.
Already I am starting to learn fromyou. Even yesterday I was already learning.

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I have already taken off my beard, have combed the hair, have
oil in my hair. There islittle which is still missing in me,
Oh excellent one, fine clothes,fine shoes, money in my pouch.
You shall know. Sir Datha hasset harder goals for himself than such trifles,

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and he has reached them. Howshouldn't I reach that goal which I
have set for myself yesterday, tobe your friend and to learn the joys
of love from you. You'll seethat I'll learn quickly, Kamala. I
have already learned harder things than whatyou're supposed to teach me. And now

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let's get to it. You aren'tsatisfied with Sir Dartha as he is with
oil in his hair, but withoutclothes, without shoes, without money.
Laughing, Kamala exclaimed, no,my dear, he doesn't satisfy me yet.
Clothes are what he must have,pretty clothes and shoes, pretty shoes,

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and lots of money in his pouchand gifts for Kamala. Do you
know it now? Samana from theforest, do you mark my words?
Yes? I have marked your words, said Arthur exclaimed. How should I
not mark words which are coming fromsuch a mouth. Your mouth is like

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a freshly cracked fig. Kamala,My mouth is red and fresh as well.
It will be a suitable match foryours, you'll see. But tell
me, beautiful Kamala, aren't youat all afraid of the Samana from the
forest? Who has come to learnhow to make love? Whatever should I
be afraid of a samana, astupid samana from the forest, who is

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coming from the jackals and doesn't evenknow yet what women are. Oh,
he's strong, the Samana, andhe isn't afraid of anything. He could
force you, beautiful girl, Hecould kidnap you, he could hurt you.
No, Samana, I am notafraid of this. Did any Samana

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or Brahman ever fear someone might comeand grab him and steal his learning and
his religious devotion and his depth ofthought? No, for they are his
very own, and he would onlygive away from those whatever he is willing
to give, and to whomever heis willing to give. Like this,

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it is precisely like this. Itis also with Kamala and with the pleasures
of love. Beautiful and red isKamala's mouth. But just try to kiss
it against Kamala's will, and youwill not obtain a single drop of sweetness
from it, which knows how togive so many sweet things. You are

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learning easily, said Arthur. Thusyou should also learn this laugh can be
obtained by begging, buying, receivingit as a gift, finding it in
the street, but it cannot bestolen. In this you have come up
with the wrong path. No,it would be a pity if a pretty

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young man like you would want totackle it in such a wrong manner.
Siddartha bowed with a smile. Itwould be a pity. Kamala, You
are so right, it would besuch a great pity. No, I
shall not lose a single drop ofsweetness from your mouth, nor you from

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mine. So it is settled.Siddartha will return once he has what he
still lacks clothes, shoes, money. But speak lovely, Kamala. Couldn't
you still give me one small advice? An advice? Why? Who wouldn't
like to give an advice to apoor, ignorant Samana who is coming from

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the jackals of the forest. DearKamala, thus advise me where I should
go, that i'll find these threethings most quickly. Friend, many would
like to know this. You mustdo what you've learned and ask for money,
clothes, and shoes in return.There is no other way for a

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poor man to obtain money. Whatmight you be able to do? I
can think, I can wait,I can fast, nothing else, nothing,
but yes, I can also writepoetry. Would you like to give
me a kiss for a poem?I would like to If I like your

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poem, what would be its title? Said Arthur spoke, after we had
thought about it for a moment.These verses into her shady grove stepped the
pretty Kamala. At the grove's entrancestood the brown Samana. Deeply, seeing
the lotus's blossom, bowed that man, and smiling Kamala thanked. More lovely,

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thought the young man than offerings forgods. More lovely is offering to
pretty Kamala. Kamala loudly clapped herhands so that the golden bracelets clanged.
Beautiful are your verses, oh brownSamana, I'm losing nothing when I am
giving you a kiss for them?She beckoned him with her eyes. He

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tilted his head so that his facetouched hers, and placed his mouth on
that mouth, which was like afreshly cracked fig For a long time,
Kamala kissed him, and with adeep astonishment, Sir Dartha felt how she
taught him why she was, howshe controlled him, rejected him, lured

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him, and how after this firstone there was to be a long a
well ordered, well tested sequence ofkisses, every one different from the others.
He was still to receive, Breathingdeeply. He remained standing where he
was, and was in this momentastonished like a child about a corner copia

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of knowledge and things worth learning,which revealed itself before his eyes. Very
beautiful are your verses, exclaimed Kamala. If I was rich, I would
give you pieces of gold for them. But it will be difficult for you
to earn thus much money with versesas you need, for you need a

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lot of money if you want tobe Kamala's friend the way you're able to
kiss, Kamala stammered, said Arthur. Yes, this I am able to
do. Therefore, I do notlack clothes, shoes, bracelets and all
beautiful things. But what will becomeof you? Aren't you able to do

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anything else but thinking, fasting,making poetry. I also know the sacrificial
songs, said said Arthur, butI do not want to sing them anymore.
I also know magic spells, butI do not want to speak them
anymore. I have read the scriptures, stop, Kamala interrupted him. You're

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able to read and write, certainlyI can do this. Many people can
do this. Most people can't.I also can't do it. It is
very good that you're able to readand write. Very good. You will
also still find use for the magicspells. In this moment, a maid

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came running in and whispered the messageinto her mistress's ear. There's a visitor
for me, exclaimed Kamala. Hurryand get yourself away, said Arthur.
Nobody may see you in here.Remember this tomorrow I'll see you again.
But to the maid, she gavethe order to give the pious Brahmin white

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upper garments. Without fully understanding whatwas happening to him, sid Arthur found
himself being dragged away by the maid, brought into a garden house, avoiding
the direct path, being given uppergarments as a gift, led into the
bushes, and urgently admonished to gethimself out of the grove as soon as

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possible without being seen. Contently,he did as he had been told.
Being accustomed to the forest, hemanaged to get out of the grove and
over the hedge without making a sound. Contently, he returned to the city,
carrying the rolled up garments under hisarm. At the inn where travelers

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stay, he positioned himself by thedoor without words. He asked for food
without a word. He accepted apiece of rice cake. Perhaps as soon
as tomorrow, he thought, Iwill ask no one for food anymore.
Suddenly pride flared up in him.He was a Samana no more. It

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was no longer becoming to him tobeg He gave the rice cake to a
dog and remained without food. Simpleis the life which people lead in this
world here, thought said Arthur.It presents no difficulties. Everything was difficult,

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toilsome and ultimately hopeless when I wasstill a Samana. Now everything is
easy, easy, like that lessonsin kissing which Kamala is giving me.
I need clothes and money, nothingelse. This is a small near goal.
They won't make a person lose anysleep. He had already discovered Kamala's

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house in the city long before therehe turned up the following day. Things
are working out well, she calledout to him. They are expecting you
at Kamaswami's. He is the richestmerchant of the city. If he'll like
you, he'll accept you into hisservice. Be smart, brown, Samana.

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I had others tell him about you. Be polite towards him. He
is very powerful, but don't betoo modest. I do not want you
to become his servant. You shallbecome his equal, or else I won't
be satisfied with you. Kamaswami isstarting to get old and lazy. If

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like you, he'll entrust you witha lot, said Arthur. Thanked her
and laughed, And when she foundout that he had not eaten anything yesterday
and to day, she sent forbread and fruits and treated him to it.
You've been lucky, she said,when they parted. I'm opening one

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door after another for you. Howcome do you have a spell, said
Arthur, said, yesterday I toldyou I knew how to think, to
wait, and to fast, andyou thought this was of no use.
But it is useful for many things. Kamala. You'll see. You'll see

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that the stupid Samanas are learning andable to do many pretty things in the
forest which the likes of you aren'tcapable of. The day before yesterday,
I was still a shaggy beggar.As soon as yesterday I have kissed Kamala,
and soon I'll be a merchant andhave money and all those things you

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insist upon. Well, yes,she admitted, but where would you be
without me. What would you beif Kamala wasn't helping you, Dear Kamala,
said sid Arthur, and straightened upto his full height. When I
came to you in your grove,I did the first step. It was

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my resolution to learn love from thismost beautiful woman. From that moment on,
when I made this resolution, Ialso knew that I would carry it
out. I knew that you wouldhelp me at your first glance at the
entrance to the grove, I alreadyknew it. But what if I hadn't

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been willing you were willing? Look, Kamala, when you throw a rock
into the water, it will speedon the fast discourse to the bottom of
the water. This is how itis when Sir d'Arthur has a goal,
a resolution. Sir Dartha does nothing. He waits, he thinks, he

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fasts, but he passes through thethings of the world like a rock through
water, without doing anything, withoutstirring. He is drawn. He lets
himself fall. His goal attracts himbecause he doesn't like anything enter his soul

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which might oppose the goal. Thisis what Sir Dartha has learned among the
Samanas. This is what falls callmagic. And of which they think it
would be affected by means of thedemons. Nothing is affected by demons.
There are no demons. Everyone canperform magic. Everyone can reach his goals

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if he is able to think,if he is able to wait, if
he is able to fast. Kamalalistened to him. She loved his voice,
she loved the look of his eyes. Perhaps it is so, she
said, quietly, as you say, friend. But perhaps it is also

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like this, that Siddhartha is ahandsome man, that his glance pleases the
women, and that therefore good fortuneis coming towards him. With one kiss,
Siddhartha bid his farewell. I wishthat it should be this way,
my teacher, that my glance shallplease you, that always good fortune shall

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come to me out of your direction. End of Chapter five