15 Underrated Signs of Character Development

Hope this helps someone out there today. Remember: it's always progress over perfection :) Go be great! XO
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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
My name is CCB, but most people just call me me.
I'm thirty nine years young. I've been through a lot.
I've also pulled myself through a lot, and one day
I got sick and tired of my shit. And that's
the day when change started happening. I stopped lying to
myself and started getting painfully honest with myself. But it
was only painful because I had been lying to myself

(00:22):
for so long. About nine or ten years ago, now,
give or take, I started writing books about my journey
through my toxic relationships and how I got out of
them and then stayed out of them by building a
healthy relationship with myself. So there's nothing that I say
on this podcast that I haven't already had to say
to myself at some point in time, and yes, in

(00:42):
the exact same tone as I say it here. So
if you are sensitive to honesty, my love, baby beloved,
this is not the place for you to be. Okay.
I don't sugar coach it for myself, so I'm not
doing it for anyone else. Besides, how are you going
to be more offended by another woman being honest with
you telling you the truth than you are by the

(01:02):
men or men who lie to you every day and
treat you like shit. Food for thought, Finish your plate?
What up booze? Is your girl? Be? And welcome back
to another episode of the Skeet You Ish Together Podcast.

(01:25):
I hope that you guys are having a great day today.
I hope that you woke up feeling revived and rejuvenated
with faith that everything that you spoke about with your
spirit team the night before is being worked out for
you in the background, somehow, some way. But please remember,
if you gotta help your spirit team help you, Okay,
that means you've got to put yourself in the position
to get the things that you want. It means to

(01:46):
chest and used to a chest because that's right. Even
the person who wishes to win the lottery knows that
they've got to play the numbers. It is currently nine
thirty am here in scots Weather, Montreal, Canada, and today
on today's episode, we're gonna be talking about underrated signs
of character development. So go get a snack, a juice

(02:07):
box or a glass of wine. Put your triggers to
the side so you got room to open up your
mind and let's get into the episode, shall we. I

(02:36):
want to give a big shout out to my closest
friends and my me because, as y'all know I am,
I'm not doing the scrolling thing on the TikTok streets.
And so when they see something that they think I
would have a lengthy opinion, either a lengthy opinion about

(02:57):
or something that I could use for you know, conversation
podcast topic, They'll send it to me. And I really
fucking appreciate them for that. So here we have I
Alwa was sent this, uh this post on the tiktoks

(03:17):
and it is titled Underrated signs of Character Development and
the author of this is the Mental Resilience Coach. It's
got to give credit where credits to Godam. We've got
to show people out. It's not difficult, takes two seconds
of your time, put other people onto other people the end.
And when I read it, it's not long. It's like
it's like ave fifteen things. Fifteen things. But I said,

(03:44):
you know, I think a lot of times we talk
about our healing journeys and we talk about like the
things we're going to go through, the journey itself, the
how hard it is, all the stuff, you know, whatever
he's go may to be. But I don't think we
talk enough about how like things you start to notice
or things you'll start to notice that will give you

(04:05):
that you can patch yourself on the back for right.
What I'm trying to say is a lot of people,
a lot of women question themselves because yes, men too,
but I'm just spil ladies, wa, a lot of women
questioning themselves in their journeys. Like am I like? Am
I healing? Am I growing? Am I? Changing? Am I this?
Am I? That? You know what I'm saying? And I
think that I think that's natural and normal. But I

(04:26):
think that these things were really spot on ways to
show you that, yeah, you you are growing, you are learning,
you are evolving, you are changing. So let's let's go
through them. So number one showing more patients than you
used to while driving in rush hour traffic. Okay, this

(04:52):
is so. I know when we talk about healing journeys,
journeys and glow up journeys and stuff like that, everybody
always brings it back to relationships and how you're going
to maneuver in relationships. But a lot of times is
how you maneuver in your everyday life. And I promise
you that traffic, someone cutting you off, being in traffic,

(05:13):
the road, rade situation. How you deal with it now
versus how you used to deal with it can tell
you a lot about yourself. Okay, so I'm somebody, admittedly
I am admittedly Wow, nice fucking blinker asshole. Okay, my

(05:40):
patience while driving has been I don't want to say
it is used to be zero negative three hundred on
the fucking scale. Please like, Okay, I will cuss you.
I will cuss you for the rest of the way, right,

(06:01):
and just be just be in my car, coussin, just cussin.
I'd rather used to say, you know, they can't actually
hear you, right, I don't give a fuck, I don't care.
Fucking idiot, so fucking stupid. Right. And then I started,
you know, working on myself all the things because what
I'm trying to bring home here and when I say,

(06:21):
you know, everything is connected. You don't just start healing
from a toxic relationship without healing, period. It's not just
about the toxic relationship. Let's just say, right, it's not
just about the heartbreak. It's not just about that one
thing that might be the catalyst. Cool, but you're not
just healing that one thing, you start to heal yourself
in all departments. It's not that you are learning to

(06:43):
have more grace for yourself. You're also learning to have
more grace for the things than people around you. It's
not that you're learning how to not be so controlling
in relationships. It's that you're learning how to stop being
so controlling overall in your life period right, how to
let go of control period Like, all of these things
are connected your your healing. Of saying yesterday or the

(07:05):
other day, who knows, I don't know. I say it
a lot, but I was saying that a healing journey
is a spiritual journey. One doesn't exist without the other.
Whether you are a spiritual or not, and whatever level
of spiritual that you are, the reality is is that
healing is a spiritual thing because it's it's within right.

(07:26):
Your spirit needs to heal you, right, So remove religion
or whatever the case. If that's not your thing, that's fine,
and if it is your thing, that's fine too, right,
But essentially it is it is all of you reconnecting again,
so being so disconnected. So your mind in one place,
your heart in another place, is in another place, right,

(07:46):
everything just being out of alignment, and it's you kind
of like don doom doom, doom, doom, doom doom, reconnecting
to yourself. Right. It's a very spiritual thing. So if
you are learning to have more patience in a one
area of your life, that is going to trickle into
all areas of your life. So now, when I started

(08:07):
to get on my healing journey, whatever the case may be,
I started to realize that. And it's funny because one
of my clients, Amanda will we worked on this as well,
and she'll say it as well. She'll catch herself when
she says that she doesn't have any patients. So what
I started to learn was, I do have patience, but

(08:28):
my patience is selective, right, I'll have patience for dumb
shit like I used to I used to listen, right,
So I used to have patience for dumb shit, for
terrible friendships, terrible relationships, right, being treated poorly consistently. I'll
have all the I used to have all the patients
in the world for that, But let me get cut

(08:49):
off in traffic, bitch. That's why. That's why your beard
don't connect, And that's why I don't want the nugget,
you know what I mean, like ridiculousness. Right. So when
I started to kind of get in that really deep
in the journey and then you know, doing more and
more work on myself. One of the things that I

(09:10):
started doing and I don't really remember when it happened,
and I don't even really remember what inspired at this point.
I think it was a book I read or something
I listened to. I don't remember, but the point is, fuck,
I wish I could remember. Anyways, I said, somebody cut
me off in traffic, right, not in traffic. It wasn't

(09:34):
sland Silver were driving cut me off? And I thought
to myself, well, what if that person really needs to
be because because me and my bladder, we could bladder matters.
Do you know what I'm saying? My bladder and I
have a very interesting relationship. And sometimes I need to

(09:55):
speed the fuck home. Sometimes sometimes I'm praying to the gods, like,
please don't let a police officer pulled me over, because
I'll piss myself. You know, ma'am, do you realize that
you were going thirty above the speed limit or what's
your reason? Okays officer, I peed myself. I'm sorry ma'am,

(10:15):
what I peed? I just paid. That was the reason.
But you know, there there we go out there, you
know what I mean, some I think it's not like
what if this person really needs to be okay? What
if this person just wifs just went into labor. What
if this person's parent is in the hospital. What if
this person is late to pick up their kid right

(10:37):
because something at work held them back, or they were
in traffic and they you know, what if this person
has an emergency? What if? What if? What if? Right
if somebody was so let's say somebody pulled up beside
me and said, hey, sorry, I need to cut you
because I really have to pee, I'd be like, go ahead, girl,
go or sir whatever, go go go go go right, okay,

(10:58):
thank you, And you know, or if they pulled up
beside me and said, I'm really sorry, I need to
Can I just cut you off at this next exit
or this next whatever the case may be. Because my
kids other parents didn't pick them up and now they're
at We're supposed to pick them up at school and
they didn't show up and now they're they're waiting on
the sup. Yeah girl got or sir, sir, girl whatever

(11:19):
go right? So why do I have to wait for
If I would do it like that with no problems
that I want to be mad and would be upset?
Why am I getting upset because cause somebody didn't ask
do you understand what I'm saying? So I started to
I really start to think of it in that way.
And now you know, I'm not going to sit here

(11:40):
and be like I've never ever got mad at another person. Again,
that's not true. I've still had my moments here and there.
But gosh, darn it, have I come a long way? Right,
And that's the point. That is my Okay, that's my
progress marker, Like, all right, girl, we've come a long
way from where we would. Just today, just there was

(12:01):
somebody and I'm on the phone doing in the car.
He's in my AirPod. I'm in the car. There's a
car in front of me, the car. I'm just we're
in one of those lanes where like you can't it's
only one lane per side, right, so I can't pass them. Okay,
it's around the street and the speed limit is fifty
and they're driving fourteen. And I know they're driving fourteen

(12:24):
because I look at my speedometer and I'm driving fourteen
and I'm like right behind them, and so I'm like,
I'm starting to get annoyed, and then I go quiet,
I go inwards. I'm like you no, no, no, no, what
namo o rang ye ko? Nam moyo range yeq? So
do I notice? Is I get quiet? He said the
baby okay, So yep, I'm fine. It's like, what's going on.
I'm like, I'm just having a conversation with myself because

(12:46):
the person in front of me is driving fourteen and
I'm not gonna get upset. I'm not gonna because there's
no point in getting upset over things that I cannot control.
Can I control this person going fourteen? No? Who can
I control myself? So he's like, it's right, baby, you
tell I'm like, I'm telling myself. He's like, that's right, baby,
you tell yourselves. I'm like, okay. And then you know,

(13:07):
after the next we got to the next light, and
then they turned to the to the left. I turned
to the right, and everything was okay, and everything was
right in the world. Again, did to sound I'm saying, so,
never underestimate the power of showing more patience than you
used to while you're driving in rush hour or driving
period as a as a measure of how far you've come. Okay,

(13:32):
someone listening to this right now, well, shit, I guess
I got more grown to do because I because some
focus on number two, a smaller tolerance for disrespect. I
really love this one because not just for myself, but
I know so many women. So when you were in

(13:53):
toxic environments, toxic relationships, friendships, all the things, right, the
way that we allowed ourselves to be disrespected was long
and far and wide and high. Right, And there is
this dope thing that happens as you begin to heal
the parts of yourself that thought it was normal or okay,

(14:15):
or whatever the case may be for that shit to
go on. You find yourself as you're growing and healing,
in a space where I'm gonna tell you this one time.
Maybe I'll tell you twice, but then you gotta go,
you know, and again. Maybe you're at a place where
you know, you used to tell somebody five times to

(14:36):
stop disrespecting you before you cut them off, and now
you tell them three times. That is progress. Bro. Maybe
before it was ten times, now it's five times. That
is progress. Maybe you used to take you a year
to fucking clue in, and now it only takes you
four months. That is progress. You get to sound what
I'm saying. So so I thought that was a really

(14:57):
important one. Number three, What the hell does this say? Oh? Yeah, sorry, sorry,
feeling neutral about someone who had completely and utterly wrecked
your heart once healed from it. So I'm gonna say
that again, feeling neutral about someone who had completely and

(15:17):
utterly wrecked your heart once healed from it. And that is,
you know, a huge testament to things like if you
were to asked me about certain my exes, I'll say, like,
I feel nothing, like I genuinely do. I feel nothing.
I don't feel like, I feel so indifferent, Like I

(15:39):
don't like I'm not happy to see them, I'm not
mad to see them in public. I it's giving. Now
you're just somebody that I used to know. I don't
fucking know, you know what I mean. I don't I
feel whatever. But if you would have asked me about them,
you know, a year or after it happened, I would

(16:02):
I would not be This would not be the you know,
six months, three months, This would not be the case, right,
This would not be the feeling that I felt, So
I think that is an excellent measure as well. Number four,
the oldest one. We love it being disinterested in the
bare minimum. So y'all know how I always talk about
the importance of giving yourself the maximum in words, then outwards.

(16:26):
Everything starts and ends with you. If you what is
that a truck? You're very close? My g the fuck?
So if hey, sorry, it was just a little bit.
I just didn't understand why it was. It shouldn't even
be in this. It doesn't matter, okay, cool, sorry squirrel.
I always say, if you stop giving yourself the bare minimum,

(16:49):
you would stop accepting the bare minimum from other people.
And you have to decide what bare minimum is for you,
for you, according to who you are, who you the
woman you want to be, what you want out of life,
what you don't want out of this life? Right, like,
what is the bare minimum for you? You need to decide
it right and then give yourself the maxim maximize, give

(17:12):
yourself right. And once you start doing that, anybody who
comes to you with the bare minimum, you scoff. You know,
anybody who comes to you with the bare minimum, it's
it's almost you know, tilt your head to the side.
Did you smack your little head on the pavement, like
you know what I mean, like what is what is this?

(17:33):
You know? And so once you're able to do that,
and once you're in a position where you realize is
you realize is good day, where you start to realize
that the bear the bear interest How much wood could
woodchuck chuck? If a woodchuck could chuck would thank you

(17:54):
the bare minimum. You're not interested in anymore, whereas before
you used to, you know, gobble that shit up, just gobble,
gobble like it was turkey on thanksgiven. You know what
I'm saying, clap it up for yourself, Yo, look at me.
I am growing, I am changing, I am healing. I
am evolving because I'm not interested in the crumbs that

(18:15):
I was happy to take before. You know. Number five,
Considering bad well, I love this, love it, love it.
Considering bad communication to be a total turn off, not
some sort of twisted challenge to prove your worth or
raise your hand. If whatever you used to do, some of

(18:37):
you guys do it right now is to do but
raise your hand. If you used to meet men, start
to date them, they were like terrible at communication, and
rather than you dropping them like a bad habit. You
would literally take it as a challenge to help teach
them how to communicate, teach them and hold space for
them and help them get their present right and make

(19:00):
excuses for them to your friends and family and shit
like that, and just be like, he's just not you
know what it is. He's just really he's just not
used to He's just he's just that. Okay, put your
hand down, all right, So some of you guys really
raise your hand to put your hand down. When you
start working on yourself and you start healing, you start

(19:21):
to see that as like, not, what do you mean?
You're forty something years old and you still don't know
how to use your words? What the fuck are we
talking about? Okay, did you ever tried? Have you put
yourself in the position to learn? Have you gone to therapy?
Have you get gotten some coaching? Have you put yourself
in the position to try to learn to use your

(19:41):
words rather than just shutting down every time you feel
a big feeling. No, Okay, so you're gonna have to
move on. Now. You're gonna have to go Totulu to
l frute bye. You're gonna have to go because no,
I always. I always say to women, it's not about
finding a per man. This doesn't exist, right, It's about

(20:03):
getting with somebody who is who is helping themselves. It's
not about you never helping somebody in a relationship. That's
not true. You have to help What the fuck? We
have to help each other, that's the whole in one
of the whole points of relationship. We help each other.
But there's a difference between helping each other and then
getting with a man who never helps himself, a grown
ass man. Fuck out of here. And it's what I'm saying,

(20:26):
so you know, and then it causes women to perform
and show that they could be the one to change him.
Blah bla la la. Right. So if you realize you
are finding yourself, that's who you used to what you
used to do, and now you're like, uh uh no,
that's I'm down to help you navigate conversations and we
can learn things together. But not if you have never

(20:50):
in your forty something years, you're only now realizing you're bad,
you're not good at communicating, and you've never tried to
help yourself, not even read a book no no, that
you could find on Amazon for fourteen ninety nine or
at the library for free ninety free, Oh god, number six.

(21:14):
Ignoring that two am text, you know, the one. If
you are somebody who used to you know, you're a
woman who used to. Your phone goes off at midnight,
one am, two am, whatever the case, need to be right,
and it's a booty call, and you would answer that call.
And now if somebody has a nerve to text your

(21:34):
phone at one pm, you block them because what do
you I mean one am? Because what are you doing?
Don't disrespect me like that? That's it. Don't don't fucking
disrespect me. I look like a call girl to you.
No I'm not. I'm not a call girl. Don't dispect
me like that. Right. If you now have boundaries around
when the men that are trying to get to know
you can text your motherfucking phone, big up, big up,

(21:54):
And now you're puom pullem shot. It's like good for you, good,
good for you. And if you're listening to this right
now and you're like, fuck, I'll still be answering them
one am tasted, God damn right. We'll let this be
the inspiration you need to get some boundaries around your phone.
MM hmmah. Number seven, forgiving someone without reconnecting. I know

(22:19):
this is triggering for some of y'all, But before you
can throw tomatoes, blax, take a deep breath, drink some water,
you know the drill. You should be prepared anyways. You
should have your you should have your listening to bees podcast,
starter kit at or survival kit right, a bottle of water,

(22:40):
a snack, juice box, or a glass of wine. Hello,
Forgiveness is all. Start off by saying this, forgiveness is
really personal. It's a personal thing, and nobody can tell
you shit about shit. Nobody can tell you that you
absolutely need to forgive someone right. However, I'm gonna say this,
it is in my belief truly that forgiveness sets you free.

(23:05):
I always say that forgiveness is not necessarily for somebody else. Well,
it can be, because you'd want somebody to forgive you
if you were genuinely sorry, But if you're if the
person is not sorry, the forgiveness is not for them.
It's for you. So you can set yourself free because
at the end of the day, they're they're doing whatever
they want to do in life, and you're holding on
to this poison inside of you, right, this grudge that

(23:27):
is only weighing your heart down. So that's my thing
around forgiveness. I forgive people worried away. I'm very big
on link. I could still be madic and still whatever,
but I forgive you quickly because I don't like holding grudges.
It makes me physically ill, makes me emotionally ill, makes
me mentally ill. It makes me physically ill. I can't.

(23:49):
I'm just I can't. But I always say to people,
just because you've forgiven somebody doesn't mean you have to
fly them a kite. You don't have to to to
to write them a letter. Hey, just want to let
you know. I know it's been four years, but I
forgive you what, No, nobody, you don't have to do that.
You don't have to, you know, call them up on
the phone. You don't have to say shit all to them. Right.

(24:10):
You can forgive them and you don't have to. Forgiveness
doesn't mean that you got to get back together with someone.
Forgiving someone doesn't mean that they have to be part
of your life again, or you're a part of their
life again. You're all part of each other's lives again.
You can literally forgive someone in the privacy of your
own brain and your own heart and your own spirit,
and keep it the fuck moving, right, It's none of

(24:33):
their business. Nobody gotta know. Escape it on that down love,
and no one elpposed to sing those songs anymore. But
they're part of my childhood. Leave me alone? Right? So, which,
why are the part of my childhood? Why is the
twelfth play R Kelly tape part of my childhood? When

(24:55):
it came out in nineteen ninety four or nineteen ninety three,
and I was literally in grade four or grade three
some means I was like nine, This is not part
of my childhood. But I did get my hands on it,
so I didn't. To be clear, I didn't start listening
to when I was nine, but I got my hands
on it when I might have been about twelve or thirteen.
Still my childhood anyways, squirrel. So yeah, you can forgive

(25:18):
somebody and never speak to them again, and that's okay.
You can forgive someone and decide you know what forgive you,
But you still cant to be around me, and I'm
not trying to be around you. So if you find
yourself in that space right now, shout out. That's your
shout out to you, that's your test, that's the show.
That's your progress, you know, and you progress over perfection,

(25:39):
and that's showing you like how far you've come from
or you used to be. Next taking someone else's criticism
who you value seriously and then applying that feedback that
when you can do that, maybe you are growing growing. Okay,

(26:01):
you are growing and glowing. Me do something sometimes doing
us to say things to me, and I'm like er er,
But I value his opinion and I value him and

(26:21):
what he has to say, even though sometimes what he
says triggers me, I feel some type of way whatever.
I know in my heart of hearts that he's never
going to say anything that is not within my best interest.
I know in my heart of hearts he's not saying
things to hurt me, to make me sad. That's never,
you know, And I know that, So I keep that

(26:44):
in the front of my mind when sometimes he has
to have hard conversations with me about me, and I'm like, okay,
I'm melting, I'm melting. But then I apply it, and
I feel good when I do because I end up
seeing like how it actually helped me in the end

(27:07):
and I'm like, all right, fine, you were right. I
was wrong. That's okay, you know, but it's like even art,
you know, the podcast dynamic or you know, if you've
ever had an encounter with me on and off the
internet anywhere, right, I don't always say shit that y'all

(27:27):
like to hear. Man, you know, if you've ever been
a client of mine and one to one, sometimes I
say things and I know that y'all are like, I
fucking hate you. Be honestly, why am I here? I
fucking hate you? Right, don't say that to me, say
behind my back like a normal person. But I know
sometimes that's how y'all are feeling because you're you know,

(27:49):
some of the shit that I say it doesn't feel
good to hear. And their tasks that you don't necessary
of the things I task y'all with are not necessarily
tasked that you for you know, your ego wants to do.
But then you do them and you're like, okay, well
just fucking try it, be grudgingly, right, and then through
it you're like, oh, wow, that was really you know,
I'm really glad I did that because it turns out

(28:10):
it helped, right, So so yeah, shout out to you,
if you able to take somebody else's criticism whole you
value seriously and apply the feedback. I skipped one. I
skipped number eight. I half for too number nine. Jesus Christ.

(28:33):
Taking a step back when you're seriously about to lose
your shit big up to that one. I have an
air horn. I don't know why I'm do you in
my mouth be boxing and shit. This is emotional regulation,

(28:53):
and this is it. This is you are learning how
to regulate your emotions. And so you used to be
go from zero to one hundred. Now when you find
and out loud, and now when you find yourself about
to turn up, you're like, you know what, let me
just take a step back and breathe for a second.
Let me just let me just I don't know, don't
say shit else to me, let me just back up.

(29:15):
I'm gonna go stand over there. I'm gonna take some
deep breaths. I'm gonna walk it off. I'm gonna talk
to myself whatever it is you need to do. I'm
gonna go do some water. I'm gonna go to bed.
Remember when we were young, and we were hungry sometimes
and maybe our mom was dinner wasn't ready, and so
we went to sleep so that we didn't feel hungry. Anyways,

(29:36):
some of y'all like, no, okay, well must be nice
if you're able to take a step back, if you
were somebody who used to go from zero two hundred
and you're not able to take a step back and
be on some whoa Now, I'm not doing this. That's
your progress right there. You're making progress, Booble number ten.

(30:01):
Taking a situation I face value and no longer pretending
it's something it's just not. I see this for what
it is. I'm not gonna pretend to something else. I'm
not going to gaslight myself. I'm not going to move
into a toxic fantasy. I'm not going to see what
I want to see, hear what I want to hear.
I'm not gonna do any of that shit. I see
this for exactly what it is in front of me.

(30:23):
So I see this as a man who is incapable
of loving me correctly. That's it. That's all. I'm going
to move along now because that is not what I want.
Right I see this as a situation that is incapable
of supplying me with the tools I need for growth.
I see this as an environment that is hostile, that

(30:43):
is incapable of enveloping me in love and respect and
all the things that I need to be supported in
order to grow. So I'm going to back up from
the situation. Ahh, I'm not going to try to try
to change the situation. I'm not going to try to
change the environment. I'm not going to The environment is
what it is. It is hostile. I can't see it
for what it is. I'm going to remove myself from

(31:05):
the environment right when you are able to be like,
I see you, I know what the fuck you are.
I'm out. Good job number eleven making a decision without
textings Oh baby, I forgot about this. One girl making
a decision without texting seven people about whether you're making

(31:27):
the correct choice. This is you learning to trust yourself more,
to trust yourself. There are so many women who and
this is not about a one off. We're not talking
about the you know, once in a blue moon, you
hit up your group chat, you h up your girls,
Hey do you think I should die my hair blonde? Like?
You know what I mean. We're not talking about that.
We're talking about the women who, on a regular basis,

(31:51):
man cannot make a decision for themselves without consulting their
group chat, without consulting their best friend, without asking for
somebody's advice, when you can start making a decision on
your own, this is a testament to you. You're growing,
You're trusting yourself more. You are letting your intuition guide you,

(32:12):
and that is a beautiful thing. That is a beautiful thing.
Number twelve, Uh saying what you need? No, no, no, no.
Refusing to check your ex best friend's Instagram because you
know it just makes you spiral. I can't really relate

(32:34):
to this, but I'm pretty sure. Sorry, all right, but
we can use ex best friend or ex friends right,
basically not checking up on people who are no longer
in your life because you know it's just gonna piss
you off. Right, So you're not gonna You're not going
to induce your own piss offness. I don't know what
I just said, but we can make it a thing

(32:56):
here if we want induce your own piss offness. Hello,
my name is CCB, and sometimes I make up phrases
and words. You're welcome to take them and use them
in your own life. Anyways, I think we can use

(33:16):
this for anything where it's just like I'm I'm not
going to go check for things that I know are
just going to raise my blood pressure. Right, I'm going
to practice self care and I'm gonna leave that shit alone.
So that part number thirteen, saying what you need without apology,

(33:39):
when you can get to a point when you're able
to say, now, I need reciprocity. Remember if you guys,
those are you all who? Longtime listeners. I don't know
which episode I did it on, and maybe I've done it.
I said this on multiple episodes. But one of my
things is I remember I was talking about that. I
had gotten to a point in my life some time

(33:59):
ago where you know what people say, you know, like, oh,
just give love and don't expect it back. And I
got to a point where I was like, no, I
need my shit back. Okay, I need my shit back.
If we're going to be in a relationship, if we're
going to be in a friendship, I need the shit
back whatever I give to you, bitch first, right, I

(34:23):
need to ship back. If I'm pooring love into you,
you need to pour love into me. If I'm poring
supporting to you, you need to pour support into me if
I'm like, I don't give a fuck what that sounds like.
And I'm not sorry. I need reciprocity in my relationships,
from my friendships to my romantic relationships or no deal
the end. That's it, and I'm not sorry. I'm not

(34:45):
sorry for how anybody takes it. I don't really give
a fuck how anybody takes it. The girls and boys
who get it will get it, and those who don't
that's your business. I don't care. You're not for me,
dand right. So that's something that I need. And when
I got to I used to, you know, as I
was practicing speaking here for my needs, i'd be you know,

(35:05):
you know, not to I'm not trying to sound you know,
selfish or anything, but it's just that, you know, like
I I would prefer I would not fuck all that shit,
fuck all that shit. So I fucked your bitch, you
fat motherfucker get money like you burst off. No, this
is what I need. I'm staying it with my whole chest.
And if you don't like it, that's okay. We don't

(35:26):
have to if you can't, if you don't like it,
if you can't provide it, if you don't have the
capacity to provide it. If you simply don't want to,
if you think I'm crazy, if you think I'm fucked,
that's all those things are okay because they all have
nothing to do with me, you see, So all those
things are perfectly okay. Thank you for letting me know
that you and I are simply not aligned. You and
I are not You and I t y okay, we're

(35:47):
not We're not in a unity. So you can go
that way, I can go this way. We didn't waste
each other's time. Love that for us. Take care Ta
tai bye. Right. So, if you're a point right now
that you can say what you need without apologizing, good
for you. If you're not in a place right now

(36:09):
where you can say what you need without apologizing, it's okay.
Get let's get some more work going. It's okay, it's cool.
Let's get some more work going. That's all right now,
you know when you need to work on okay. Number
fourteen Accepting what you can't change. This is a big
one for a lot of people. A lot of people
refuse to accept what they can't change and who who

(36:31):
they can't change, And as you go through your healing journey,
as you go through your spiritual journey. As you go
through your growth, you're growing, you're evolving. You will start
to understand letting go of control. Even if you don't
think you're a controlling person and you don't think of
yourself as controlling. Once you start to heal, you'll be

(36:52):
surprised at just how many things and people you were
trying to control for your own reasons. That you will
uncover your journey, okay. And acceptance is the opposite of control.
And when you accept the people and things that you
can't change, okay, it's a beautiful thing. It's a beautiful thing.

(37:12):
So those of y'all who are there right now, good
for you. Those of y'all who realize you're like, oh fuck,
definitely not there, need to work on that. Here's the
inspiration you need to work on it. Okay. And finally,
number fifteen, continuing to feel even when it hurts. It
can be really easy for people to try to shut

(37:34):
their feelings off, try to put up a wall because
you don't want to feel because hurts, right, you don't
want to feel your feelings. But in your journeys spiritual
healing all the stuff right, you will learn that if
you don't move through, if you don't allow yourself to
feel so you can move through your feelings, your feelings

(37:55):
that you didn't move through get stuck inside of you
and they harden in of you, and you only rob
yourself from living your life to the fullest, experiencing joy, love, joy,
pump it up, pump it up, all that to the fullest, right,
because you're not allowing yourself to move through your feelings.

(38:16):
So if you are at a point in your life
where you have learned to move through your feelings even
when it hurts, even when it doesn't feel the best,
and you still work through it, good for you. If
you are like man, I got seventy eight walls up
and I have feelings that are hard inside of me,
this is your inspiration. This is the sign that you

(38:38):
needed to start working through that. Okay, And that's it.
That was all it was. The fifteen Pretty good? Huh?
I thought that was good. I hope I'll took some notes.
And if you didn't take any notes, that's okay. Come back,
replay the episode, take your notes. You know what I'm saying. Cool. Anyways,

(38:59):
wherever you are in your journey, I'm proud of you.
Healing is it's not easy and it's not linear. So
remember that your journey is yours. You know yourself, you
know where you started, you know where you've come from,
you know your story. Even if you've explained to others,
you still leave some shit out, and that's okay because

(39:20):
as you but you're the only one who really knows
your story. So you know how far you've come, and
you know whether or not you're moving forward or not. Right,
So there you go. Okay, do I have any random

(39:41):
life news. No. Life is fucking boring lately. I have nothing, nothing, nothing. Oh,
if you like a coloring book, people ask me for this,
so the links for my coloring books will always be
in the show notes. Okay, in the description of the episodes,
I'll leave the links there. But in case you didn't know, Yes,
I make coloring books right now, and I have a

(40:01):
third one that's on the way. I'm really excited about it.
But if you wanted a coloring book, you can click
the link in the description and it'll take you to
the coloring books along with anything else. If you want,
you know, any other books or whatever the case they be,
just click those links and you'll be good to go okay?

(40:21):
As our random life news. Something that I'm grateful for today,
I am grateful for my own growth. I reading these
made me just just recognize, man, like how far I
have come and the work that I have put in
over the years, and you know, it made me think

(40:42):
about even my relapses. And it made me also revisit
the relationship with perfection. You know that I'm never trying
to be perfect. That's never my goal because because I
know always that perfection doesn't exist. But it helps me
to even though that's not my goal, it helps me
to just think about that too, right, Like, it's not

(41:04):
about being perfect, it's about growing at your pace, but
growing you know, like I always say, go at your pace,
but go you know, and all the things that have
come out of and all the versions of myself that
I've met along the way who have supported me in

(41:24):
getting to the next version of myself, you know. So
that's what I'm grateful for. I'm grateful for my journey, child,
grateful for my journey. It's your turn. Think about something
that you're grateful for, write it down or say it
out loud, phone to friend and let them know that
you appreciate them something that you love. I'm sure it'll
make their day. Okay, ladies and sometimes gentlemen. I hope

(41:46):
that today's episode helped you in some way, some way,
some way, some way, some way, shape or form, nothing else.
Who's food for thought. Just make sure you finish your plates,
you can go be great, ill that you have a
good rest of your morning's evenings afternoons the book y'all
are in the world. Please be safe, use condoms, show
us your intuition, and use a discernment, and I will
catch y'all on the next episode, signing love, We'll be great.

(42:33):
H