April 4, 2025 • 28 mins
Hai :) As always, I hope todays episode helps in some way, shape, or form. Sending you love. XO. For all of my books, workbooks, both Substacks, and coaching info, click here: www.sisgetyourishtogether.com
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hello, good morning, good evening, good afternoon. Wherever the like
you are in the world, it's me. Your Internet pixis
b Still don't have a new intro for the pod,
so we just gonna roll with it. Like I want
you to think of this like a voice note. Okay,
like a voice note that your homegirls sent you, you know,
one of them long voice notes. I don't know about you,
(00:20):
but me and Imani does this to me all the time.
We do it to each other. Let me be very fair, ye'all. No,
Emani friend to the show, friend in real life. She's
a therapist who cares anyways, not who cares, but you
know what I mean. Emani and I, when we catch up,
I'll open my What's Up and it'll be seven voice
(00:42):
notes stacked and they're all twelve minutes long. But I
do the same thing to her, So this is what
I'm doing to y'all. Just think of it as a
voice note. Okay, okay. And if you're new here, hi,
you know my name is be All the Jazz, It's CCB,
but most people just call me Bee. I'm forty years
young and I say the shit you need to hear. Okay, cool, cool, cool, cool.
(01:03):
So I wrote a piece today for my substack and
I thought I would share it with y'all here as well.
Piece By the way, if you guys are not signed
up to the substant what are you doing? I have
two substacks. I have one that is if it's called
if We're being honest, and that is where I write
(01:27):
about anything I want to. Really, that's there. Anything I
want to and any style I want to write in
I write over there. It's more expansive. And then I
have my sis kitch ish Together substack, where I write
mostly about dating relationships and you know, for the girlies
who are still there and need an extra kick in
the ass because you know, that's what we do around
(01:48):
here with love though, you know, with love. So I
have two substacks, so sign up to whichever one you
feel called to or both, you know what I'm saying.
But on my sis Kitches Together podcast, I'm a podcast
ill good morning sub stack. I post typically Monday through Friday,
(02:10):
and there's themes. Now there's themes, you know. So I
have what we're not going to do Wednesday? I have
we need to talk Tuesdays. You get the point. Today's
Friday and it's feel your free, feel your feelings Friday,
and so I wanted to share this with y'all for
anybody who might who might need to hear it. Okay,
(02:30):
so you know, go get a snack of juice box
or a glass of wine, put your sugars of SATs.
You got room to open up your mind. And here
it is. Hi, it's me your Internet, big sispy, Pull
up a chair and let's talk. Mama. I know we're
living in a world where everything moves fast. Instant gratification
(02:51):
runs our lives. We want quick winds, quick answers, quick healing,
and because of that, when we start to feel heavy
like grief, disappointment, confusion, heartbreak, we try to treat those
feelings the same way. Move them along, tuck them away,
get over them promptly. We act like feelings are deadlines
(03:15):
instead of information, like sadness should have an expiration date,
like being strong means pretending we are unbothered. But the
truth is, there is nothing weak about a woman who
feels things deeply. The real weakness is in avoidance, and
(03:36):
no amount of pretending will ever give you the freedom
that facing yourself will. So let me say this, and
I need you to really hear me when I do.
You're allowed to be sad about how it turned out,
whatever it is. You're allowed to be disappointed, to be mad.
(04:02):
You are allowed to still be healing even if it's
been a minute. You don't have to rush your way
through the mess just to look like you've moved on.
You don't have to slap a smile on your face
and call it strength. You don't have to throw affirmations
on top of a wound that hasn't even cabbed yet.
(04:24):
You don't need to boss up before you've even cried.
That's not you and your power. That's you under pressure, baby,
And you've had enough of that already, don't you think.
Let yourself feel it, Let the disappointment rise, let the
anger speak, Let the tears come, because holding it in
(04:47):
isn't healing, it's suppression. Also, crying is cleansing. As a
piscis who cries all the time, five stars highly recommend.
If you don't let it flow freely, I promise you
it'll find its way out eventually, through tension, through burnout,
(05:09):
through irritation, through that random breakdown over something small that
wasn't actually about what it looked like. Feelings don't just disappear,
they wait, and the longer you ignore them, the louder
they get, and shit will blow up in the worst
of ways. So this is your reminder. Healing isn't a performance.
(05:36):
Strength isn't silence. You don't get extra points for pretending
that you're fine. You become free when you get honest.
You get grounded when you sit in it instead of
running from it, and you get real peace, not performative peace,
(05:57):
when you actually move through so it's hurting instead of
skipping over it. So if your heart still hurts today, girl,
and let it hurt. If you're still mad about what happened,
don't spiritual bypass your way out of it. If you're
not over it yet, that's fine. Just don't lie to
(06:19):
yourself about where you are. You're allowed to feel all
of it because that's what gets you on the other side. Okay, Okay,
good talk, they'll be great. So this piece is actually
(06:40):
inspired by a client that I had recently and you know,
not gonna tell her business. But she's just a little
a little frustrated because feeling like she should be farther
along or further along rather in her feelings right, And
the other day I told her, I was like, yo,
like you you don't have to rush through this shit, huh,
(07:01):
Like you can. You're gonna have days in healing. So
let's say you're going through a breakup, because that's just this,
just what let me go through, all right. Let's say
you're going through a breakup, You're going through some type
of grieving of another person, whatever the case may be. Right,
the shit is ended, even if the person wasn't good
for you, even if you know all the things in
your mind right, you know this person was in shit.
(07:23):
You know this person didn't treat you while you know
this was whatever, blah blah blah. In your healing, you
will have good days and you will have heavy days.
You will have in the same day you will have
the morning you wake up, you know, I'm walking on sunshine,
and then by the afternoon you are singing a Mary J.
(07:46):
Blige song in your car crying. You know, I'm not
go cry, I'm not go cry, but you're crying. Right.
You know, healing works and ebbs and flows, and when
you try to rush through it or you try to
(08:07):
save face, I guess all you do is delay your
healing essentially, right, if you really want to heal, then
you have to let shit comes how it comes. Just
like the ocean. You can't dictate when the waves come.
They come when they come, right, They will come when
(08:28):
they come. Your feeling will come in waves. And what's
important is that you give it space to do that right,
instead of trying to contain it or swallow it or
shove it down or bury it right, that you give
it space. And the way to do that is that
(08:51):
you name it all right, I know that. Okay, this
wave is coming. What is it? I'm fucking angry? Cool,
what are you angry about? I'm angry that. Let's just say,
this motherfucker left me high and dry, and he is
living his best life right now. But okay, let's go further.
(09:13):
You know, how do I know that he's living his
best life? Well? I see it on Instagram? Okay, but
our Instagram reality or is it? A lot of times
it's highlight reels with pit people's a three second moment. Okay,
it's a highlight reel. So do you really know that
he's living his best life? I actually really don't know
that he is, right, I'm just telling myself that he
(09:35):
is based off what I'm seeing on Instagram. Let's just say, right, okay,
he moved on with another woman. You're still there, you know, single? Right,
I'm angry because I'm angry and I feel upset, and
I also feel sad because he moved on and I'm
here with all my broken pieces. Okay, cool, let's unpack that.
(09:59):
Is it just the idea that's there's another body beside him?
Or do you think he's actually happy? Oh? Well, he
looks happy. Okay, let's consider this. Has he ever been
to therapy? Has he ever healed his shit? Is there
still a broken little boy inside of him that has
never gotten the proper tending to? Yes? All the above? Okay, cool,
(10:20):
So what you're looking at is the vanity of it.
All right, he the appearance of happiness. But is that
man really happy? Probably fucking not, right, Probably fucking not.
You know. But you're the one who's here choosing not
to cut other people on broken pieces that you have.
(10:44):
You're here choosing to sit with yourself. Maybe have someone
help you, like a coach, a therapist, a workbook, whatever
the case may be, help you glue those pieces back together. Right,
you're doing that work to better your life. That motherfucker
is the same motherfucker that he was, and it's continuing
(11:05):
to be the same motherfucker over and over again. Right,
walk yourself through these things. You know, it's okay to
feel how you're feeling. But when it comes up, just
name them, talk with them, sit with them, right, because
I'll tell you one thing. If you don't, that shit will,
Like I said in the piece, it'll catch up to you. Eventually,
(11:26):
it will explode. It will blow up in your face
and in the face of somebody else, and or you will.
You will end up lashing out on people who do
not fucking deserve it because you have it pent up inside.
Look how many people are walking around this earth right now?
Look at the comment sections on any social media beast right,
it's people projecting their own shit. I was going through
(11:46):
deleting a bunch of pictures and videos from my Instagram.
I don't know if I said this to you guys before,
but I'm like going through this thing where I just
don't want to be seen. I don't want to be
seen on any of my social media is I don't
like I'm like in this. I started social media a
very long time ago, Facela, I didn't nobody know what
I looked like. And then you know, I joined in
(12:09):
with the way the social media was going. Right, But
I've gotten to a place where I just want to
write and talk. I don't necessarily want to show my face.
My kids, well, I don't show my kids anyways, so
if I do, sometimes I just put an emotio over
their face. But I don't want to show Duane. I
don't want to show like I don't want I don't
want people to have access to me like that anymore. Right. Anyways,
(12:29):
So I was going through and it's taking long because,
like on my Crimson Kiss page, I have like fucking
all kinds of shit. Right, So anyways, I landed on
this one video. Don't worry, there's a point to this.
I landed on this one video of Duane and nice proposal.
And I was watching the day that the day that
(12:50):
Duyne proposed to me. So I'm watching it, I'm like, oh, man,
I haven't watched that video in a while, and I'm like, oh,
that's my baby. Anyways, and so I go into the
common and I'm reading whatever the case may be, and
then I see one comment I've deleted it now though,
but I see a comment that's like, uh, meanwhile, my
(13:13):
man can't even do something right, my man can't even
do X y Z blah blah blah, and I you know,
and this happens all the time, right, And so I
think to myself, like, just normally is not putting, like
not putting your projections of whatever you're going through in
a space where it's somebody is celebrating their love, you know.
(13:34):
But people do it all the time. It's not just me, right,
I'm just using this as an example because it's fresh
on my mind, but any you just everybody does it
all the time. The world is full of people projecting.
And that comes from somewhere. That comes from people who
don't sit with themselves to heal their shit. Because when
you sit with yourself to heal your shit, you are
(13:56):
not going to think even if you're going through something
in the moment, when you're doing your inner work and
you're accustomed doing your inner work, you're not gonna throw
that onto somebody who's this has nothing to do with that,
And is that what I'm saying. So it'll show up
when you don't do what you need to do for yourself.
When you don't heal your shit, when you don't work
through your shit, when you don't sit with your shit,
unpack your shit and name your shit, own your shit,
(14:18):
work through your shit. It'll show up man in places
that they don't need to be, you know, and they
It will affect other not just you, but it'll affect
other people. It'll affect relationships that you're trying to have,
It'll affect your friendships, It'll it'll constantly blow up in
your face. So and then it's like one of those
things where you take two steps forward and then you
(14:39):
know something comes and knocks you ten steps backwards. Well
that's something, is you? Baby? Is that I'm saying? That's something?
Is you? You know, when you don't do what you need
to do for yourself, you knock yourself back ten steps backwards, right,
and then have the nerve the audacity to sit around
and be like, you know, when is it gonna this?
When am I gonna this? Ask asking for timelines, asking
(15:01):
for people to point you in directions of a timeline
that only is nobody can give you. It doesn't exist.
I can't tell you in two years, in six months,
in four days, in seven hours. In three weeks, you
will be healed. I can't tell you that, and nobody
else can tell you that. You can't tell yourself that either.
You just have to take it day by day. And
(15:22):
like I said in the Peace, we're living in a
world of instant gratification where we have everything at our fingertips,
every single thing at our fingertips, and everything comes quickly
Amazon Prime tomorrow, except if you live in Quebec now
because Montreal they took Amazon out a year. But I digress.
It's ridiculous. Um, you know you you door dash this
(15:45):
that the third right? Everything apt to downloads right away?
This than the third right? If your phone's like God forbid,
something loads for longer than three seconds, do you not?
Most of y'all just be a little the fuck boys
is taking so long? Right? We really live in this
world of like now now, now, now now, and it
(16:07):
fuses in your mind. You think, okay, this times for this,
what a timestown for this? How long is this gonna take?
Like everything comes with the timestam and it's just not
how it works. You have to separate the You're gonna
have to separate the two, and that's your responsibility. Your
work that and we live in it. When I said before,
(16:27):
everything is at our fingertips, and yet people choose not to.
If everything's at our fingertips, why isn't it? Why are
so many people not doing their inner work? No, seriously,
and if if that, if that's you, I'm asking you
too write. If everything's at our fingertip, if you can Google,
if you can fucking chat GTP, if you can, if
(16:49):
there's coaches, if there's therapists, if there's books. There's so
many books. Oh my god, there's so many books. Why
are so many people allergic to mother Book of reading? Like?
If everything is at our fingertips, why aren't you utilizing
the space? Exactly? Most people are not using their smartphones
for smart things, right, Most people are not using their
(17:10):
library to And that's a library in your neighborhood or
the library on Amazon, you know what I mean. But
the resources, the books, the everything that's available to them
to use to help them. Most people are not doing
this because that requires facing yourself, and most people are
not interested in facing themselves. They're interested in pointing outwards.
(17:32):
And when you don't face yourself, shit starts to pile up,
pile up, pile up, pile up, and you will fucking
you will spatz all over yourself and all over everybody else. Right,
it's like vomit. It's like vomiting on a roller coaster. Yeah, yeah,
on a roller coaster. You know have thing that turns around.
I don't know what, but it's like your back is
(17:55):
like against the wall and it spins. Everybody's back is
against the wall, and then yeah and if you throw
up on that shit, well somebody else get you know
what I mean. I haven't been to an amusement park,
you know, very long time. This time I was like,
twenty three is you won't catch me there? You'm I
go on a known mother buck and rides. I'm not
to give you myself hard at tack. Thank you very much.
The point is I digress, take your time. I told
(18:21):
my client the day, I was like, hey, not for nothing,
buttself for everything. It took me three years, three years.
Have you ever read letters to my ex to get
over James? Three three long yes? Right? And it didn't
mean that in those three years. And that's the part
I want to make clear as well. Right, it does
(18:41):
not mean that in those three years I was just
sitting home, waiting for you. Just staring at the walls
is all I do. That's not what I was doing, right.
It doesn't mean that I spent three years just in
my room, locked up, you know, crying. It just a
was your lover, man, your secretary. That's not what was
(19:04):
going on, right. I was still living my life. I
was still doing things. I was still going to work,
I was still having good times. I was meeting people.
I was not meeting people I was having I was dating.
I was not dating. I was having uh single time,
I was having semi relationship time I was having I
(19:28):
was I was living my life. But in those three years,
I would still have moments, days, weeks, months where I
was fucking sad, where I was hurt, where I was angry,
where I wanted to be very honest ring his doorbell
with a baseball bat and and and mash up everything
and out of pelias. That's not healthy, But doesn't mean
(19:51):
that it didn't go through my mind interest of thoughts. Right,
that's also a crime. But the point I didn't do it,
pus by the way, anybody didn't do it, got somebody
else to do it. The point I didn't, No, I'm
just I'm just I'm just serious. I'm just kidding. I'm
just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. The point is, okay,
(20:16):
let me stop playing with y'all. Oh God, here someone spentley,
I can I help you? Okay? Thanks. The point is
I had three years of I didn't know how I
was gonna feel in the morning when I woke up,
and even when I had two month stretches where I
didn't think of this motherfucker at all. Then boom, someone
(20:36):
says his name, and I'm right back to the day
that I walked away, right, or or whatever the kiss
may be. And then I'm like, fuck, here we go again. Right,
I had to go through it, you know. And then
one day That's why you hear people say other time
like one day, I get that's why sometimes you people
cannot pinpoint. They can't pinpoint when exactly they stop feeling
(21:00):
how they felt right, or when exactly things change, because
you'll help people say like one day I woke up
and I just didn't feel xyz anymore. That's a very
real thing. One day, you're not even thinking about it.
You're doing something very mundane. You're washing the dishes or
you're folding the clothes, or you're taking a walk, or
(21:20):
you're downtown, or you're with your homegirls or whatever the
case may be, right, and somebody says his name and
you feel nothing. You're just like, okay, well, wish him
whatever he deserves, and you mean it, like you know,
and you're just like, huh, you know. Or one day
you're driving, you know, downtown, taking my way in downtown.
(21:43):
You're driving downtown and all of a sudden, a song
plays and it reminds you of him, and then you
think to yourself, wow, I haven't thought about the motherfuck
in a long time, actually, And then you think to yourself,
and I'm thinking about him right now, and I don't care.
Interesting right, my body's not doing the thing it used
(22:03):
to do. My heart's not beating fast. I'm not feeling upset,
I'm not feeling sad. I'm kind of maybe I'm do
I feel sad for him a little bit? Okay? Do
I Right? Like this is really how it happens. You know,
it's not a it's not a one size fits all
for everybody. And so no matter what it is that
(22:25):
you're going through, like I said in the piece, no
matter whatever it is, baby, let's you self feel it.
Lets you self feel it without exploding on other people.
And just because you're feeling it, it doesn't mean you have
to explain it to others or give it to others
or put it on other people or da da da.
You can keep some shit to yourself, right, Like everything
does not need to be shared. That's another thing too.
(22:49):
Every minute of your life and every feeling and every
season that you're in doesn't need to be shared with
your friends, your mom, your sister, auntie, social media. It
could just be for you, you and your journal, right,
But let it come up and let yourself feel it.
Because the more you get in the habit of facing
your shit rather than running from it, the more you
(23:09):
will know what to do when things come up, and
you will it also build your self trust and your
self confidence. Right Like, I trust myself to feel my
fucking feelings. I trust myself to feel my feelings. I
trust myself to face my feelings. I trust myself to
look at my feelings and to work through them. I
trust myself to sit in my feelings. I trust myself.
(23:29):
I trust myself. You see what I'm saying. Okay, that's
all I have for you guys today, I just want
to I just want to say that. Plus, I've been
away for a while, so you know, surpressed, surpress. Anyways,
I was talking on Instagram Life anyways. I hope this
helped you. Peace by the way, Okay, well this really
(23:50):
helped you. What was I going to say now? Bloody hell? Oh? Yes,
I was talking on my Instagram live the other day
because I popped up there too, snapgrackled popcallos or as
Chris Breeze anyways, And I might be putting together a
Goople class called Power the Pussy. It's not about it's
(24:13):
not about uh, it's not about what you think it's about.
It's pay pussy. It's not about what you think it's about.
There will be a lot of spiritual moon cycle, a
little bit of some witchie things in there, so it's
definitely not a class for everybody. We will be talking
(24:35):
about your pussy as a portal. I'm so serious. There's
a lot of things that will go on in that class.
I'm thinking about putting it together. If I do, I'll
be putting it together on Friday, April twelfth, because it
is a full moon and it is a pink Full
Moon at that I think it's actually the perfect one
to do it. But I'm still working at the details
(24:56):
because you know, we have children. Yes, we have to
work out the details. But I and April twelfth is
Saturday night, so Saturday night, I feel the air is
getting hot. Be my baby. Anyways, if I do put
it together, I'm still thinking about it. I don't know
(25:18):
where I'm gonna let you guys know. Actually I don't
even know. I'll fling it up in one of my
ig stories, That's what I'll do. I'll you know, either
on both on if we're being honest Instagram and the
Crimson Kiss Instagram. I'll post it there, you know, so
that you guys know what's happening. But please note, there
will be no let me do something. I'm doing this
(25:39):
in a very specific way, and there's a very good
reason why I'm doing it this way. There will be
no replays, there will be no playbacks, there will be
none of that shit. It is going to be Uh,
You're gonna get your seat and you have to be present.
You must be present. That's it. That's it. That's it.
If you get your seat and then you can't make
(26:00):
it we'll just like if you get a ticket for
a concert and you can't make it, we'll you miss
the concert. That's it. That's all right. There's no refunds,
there's no exchance, there's none of that shit. It is done.
If I'm going to do another class, I'm doing it
for women who are really ready to show up for themselves,
you know. It's what I'm saying, and not take the
lazy way out. So that's what it's going to be.
(26:21):
It's going to be you come on the day or
maybe you miss it. This is going to happen. So
I'll let you guys know through one of my Instagram channels,
such my Instagram channels it's not YouTube, one of my
Instagram pages, both of them. And yeah, that's it. That's
that's it. Okay. So in the meantime, you guys know,
(26:42):
you can click the link in the show notes go
to Siskitches together dot com if you need books, if
you need workbooks, if you need coaching. I don't know
if I have any, Well, we'll see. I think there's
appointments available for game plan calls if you need that.
But that is it. That is it. I just wanted
(27:03):
to come on here and share that with you guys.
And you know, plus it's been a while, so you
know what I'm saying, that is it. I hope that
you enjoyed today's voice note. Maybe that's what we'll do
from now on. Maybe we'll just we'll keep the podcast
like voice notes. We'll have our regular music intro I
mean otro, but it would just be like a long
(27:24):
voice note. Anyways, I hope I was able to keep
you company wherever you are, whatever you're doing, ladies, I
appreciate you always, thank you for being here. And in
that note, I'm gonna go. I hope that you guys
have a good rest of your morning's evenings, afternoons or
over the book Yeller in the world, please be safe,
use condoms, trust your intuition, and use your discernment, and
(27:46):
I will catch y'all on the next episode. Sending us
how much love God be great. Sp
Hello, good morning, good evening, good afternoon. Wherever the like
you are in the world, it's me. Your Internet pixis
b Still don't have a new intro for the pod,
so we just gonna roll with it. Like I want
you to think of this like a voice note. Okay,
like a voice note that your homegirls sent you, you know,
one of them long voice notes. I don't know about you,
(00:20):
but me and Imani does this to me all the time.
We do it to each other. Let me be very fair, ye'all. No,
Emani friend to the show, friend in real life. She's
a therapist who cares anyways, not who cares, but you
know what I mean. Emani and I, when we catch up,
I'll open my What's Up and it'll be seven voice
(00:42):
notes stacked and they're all twelve minutes long. But I
do the same thing to her, So this is what
I'm doing to y'all. Just think of it as a
voice note. Okay, okay. And if you're new here, hi,
you know my name is be All the Jazz, It's CCB,
but most people just call me Bee. I'm forty years
young and I say the shit you need to hear. Okay, cool, cool, cool, cool.
(01:03):
So I wrote a piece today for my substack and
I thought I would share it with y'all here as well.
Piece By the way, if you guys are not signed
up to the substant what are you doing? I have
two substacks. I have one that is if it's called
if We're being honest, and that is where I write
(01:27):
about anything I want to. Really, that's there. Anything I
want to and any style I want to write in
I write over there. It's more expansive. And then I
have my sis kitch ish Together substack, where I write
mostly about dating relationships and you know, for the girlies
who are still there and need an extra kick in
the ass because you know, that's what we do around
(01:48):
here with love though, you know, with love. So I
have two substacks, so sign up to whichever one you
feel called to or both, you know what I'm saying.
But on my sis Kitches Together podcast, I'm a podcast
ill good morning sub stack. I post typically Monday through Friday,
(02:10):
and there's themes. Now there's themes, you know. So I
have what we're not going to do Wednesday? I have
we need to talk Tuesdays. You get the point. Today's
Friday and it's feel your free, feel your feelings Friday,
and so I wanted to share this with y'all for
anybody who might who might need to hear it. Okay,
(02:30):
so you know, go get a snack of juice box
or a glass of wine, put your sugars of SATs.
You got room to open up your mind. And here
it is. Hi, it's me your Internet, big sispy, Pull
up a chair and let's talk. Mama. I know we're
living in a world where everything moves fast. Instant gratification
(02:51):
runs our lives. We want quick winds, quick answers, quick healing,
and because of that, when we start to feel heavy
like grief, disappointment, confusion, heartbreak, we try to treat those
feelings the same way. Move them along, tuck them away,
get over them promptly. We act like feelings are deadlines
(03:15):
instead of information, like sadness should have an expiration date,
like being strong means pretending we are unbothered. But the
truth is, there is nothing weak about a woman who
feels things deeply. The real weakness is in avoidance, and
(03:36):
no amount of pretending will ever give you the freedom
that facing yourself will. So let me say this, and
I need you to really hear me when I do.
You're allowed to be sad about how it turned out,
whatever it is. You're allowed to be disappointed, to be mad.
(04:02):
You are allowed to still be healing even if it's
been a minute. You don't have to rush your way
through the mess just to look like you've moved on.
You don't have to slap a smile on your face
and call it strength. You don't have to throw affirmations
on top of a wound that hasn't even cabbed yet.
(04:24):
You don't need to boss up before you've even cried.
That's not you and your power. That's you under pressure, baby,
And you've had enough of that already, don't you think.
Let yourself feel it, Let the disappointment rise, let the
anger speak, Let the tears come, because holding it in
(04:47):
isn't healing, it's suppression. Also, crying is cleansing. As a
piscis who cries all the time, five stars highly recommend.
If you don't let it flow freely, I promise you
it'll find its way out eventually, through tension, through burnout,
(05:09):
through irritation, through that random breakdown over something small that
wasn't actually about what it looked like. Feelings don't just disappear,
they wait, and the longer you ignore them, the louder
they get, and shit will blow up in the worst
of ways. So this is your reminder. Healing isn't a performance.
(05:36):
Strength isn't silence. You don't get extra points for pretending
that you're fine. You become free when you get honest.
You get grounded when you sit in it instead of
running from it, and you get real peace, not performative peace,
(05:57):
when you actually move through so it's hurting instead of
skipping over it. So if your heart still hurts today, girl,
and let it hurt. If you're still mad about what happened,
don't spiritual bypass your way out of it. If you're
not over it yet, that's fine. Just don't lie to
(06:19):
yourself about where you are. You're allowed to feel all
of it because that's what gets you on the other side. Okay, Okay,
good talk, they'll be great. So this piece is actually
(06:40):
inspired by a client that I had recently and you know,
not gonna tell her business. But she's just a little
a little frustrated because feeling like she should be farther
along or further along rather in her feelings right, And
the other day I told her, I was like, yo,
like you you don't have to rush through this shit, huh,
(07:01):
Like you can. You're gonna have days in healing. So
let's say you're going through a breakup, because that's just this,
just what let me go through, all right. Let's say
you're going through a breakup, You're going through some type
of grieving of another person, whatever the case may be. Right,
the shit is ended, even if the person wasn't good
for you, even if you know all the things in
your mind right, you know this person was in shit.
(07:23):
You know this person didn't treat you while you know
this was whatever, blah blah blah. In your healing, you
will have good days and you will have heavy days.
You will have in the same day you will have
the morning you wake up, you know, I'm walking on sunshine,
and then by the afternoon you are singing a Mary J.
(07:46):
Blige song in your car crying. You know, I'm not
go cry, I'm not go cry, but you're crying. Right.
You know, healing works and ebbs and flows, and when
you try to rush through it or you try to
(08:07):
save face, I guess all you do is delay your
healing essentially, right, if you really want to heal, then
you have to let shit comes how it comes. Just
like the ocean. You can't dictate when the waves come.
They come when they come, right, They will come when
(08:28):
they come. Your feeling will come in waves. And what's
important is that you give it space to do that right,
instead of trying to contain it or swallow it or
shove it down or bury it right, that you give
it space. And the way to do that is that
(08:51):
you name it all right, I know that. Okay, this
wave is coming. What is it? I'm fucking angry? Cool,
what are you angry about? I'm angry that. Let's just say,
this motherfucker left me high and dry, and he is
living his best life right now. But okay, let's go further.
(09:13):
You know, how do I know that he's living his
best life? Well? I see it on Instagram? Okay, but
our Instagram reality or is it? A lot of times
it's highlight reels with pit people's a three second moment. Okay,
it's a highlight reel. So do you really know that
he's living his best life? I actually really don't know
that he is, right, I'm just telling myself that he
(09:35):
is based off what I'm seeing on Instagram. Let's just say, right, okay,
he moved on with another woman. You're still there, you know, single? Right,
I'm angry because I'm angry and I feel upset, and
I also feel sad because he moved on and I'm
here with all my broken pieces. Okay, cool, let's unpack that.
(09:59):
Is it just the idea that's there's another body beside him?
Or do you think he's actually happy? Oh? Well, he
looks happy. Okay, let's consider this. Has he ever been
to therapy? Has he ever healed his shit? Is there
still a broken little boy inside of him that has
never gotten the proper tending to? Yes? All the above? Okay, cool,
(10:20):
So what you're looking at is the vanity of it.
All right, he the appearance of happiness. But is that
man really happy? Probably fucking not, right, Probably fucking not.
You know. But you're the one who's here choosing not
to cut other people on broken pieces that you have.
(10:44):
You're here choosing to sit with yourself. Maybe have someone
help you, like a coach, a therapist, a workbook, whatever
the case may be, help you glue those pieces back together. Right,
you're doing that work to better your life. That motherfucker
is the same motherfucker that he was, and it's continuing
(11:05):
to be the same motherfucker over and over again. Right,
walk yourself through these things. You know, it's okay to
feel how you're feeling. But when it comes up, just
name them, talk with them, sit with them, right, because
I'll tell you one thing. If you don't, that shit will,
Like I said in the piece, it'll catch up to you. Eventually,
(11:26):
it will explode. It will blow up in your face
and in the face of somebody else, and or you will.
You will end up lashing out on people who do
not fucking deserve it because you have it pent up inside.
Look how many people are walking around this earth right now?
Look at the comment sections on any social media beast right,
it's people projecting their own shit. I was going through
(11:46):
deleting a bunch of pictures and videos from my Instagram.
I don't know if I said this to you guys before,
but I'm like going through this thing where I just
don't want to be seen. I don't want to be
seen on any of my social media is I don't
like I'm like in this. I started social media a
very long time ago, Facela, I didn't nobody know what
I looked like. And then you know, I joined in
(12:09):
with the way the social media was going. Right, But
I've gotten to a place where I just want to
write and talk. I don't necessarily want to show my face.
My kids, well, I don't show my kids anyways, so
if I do, sometimes I just put an emotio over
their face. But I don't want to show Duane. I
don't want to show like I don't want I don't
want people to have access to me like that anymore. Right. Anyways,
(12:29):
So I was going through and it's taking long because,
like on my Crimson Kiss page, I have like fucking
all kinds of shit. Right, So anyways, I landed on
this one video. Don't worry, there's a point to this.
I landed on this one video of Duane and nice proposal.
And I was watching the day that the day that
(12:50):
Duyne proposed to me. So I'm watching it, I'm like, oh, man,
I haven't watched that video in a while, and I'm like, oh,
that's my baby. Anyways, and so I go into the
common and I'm reading whatever the case may be, and
then I see one comment I've deleted it now though,
but I see a comment that's like, uh, meanwhile, my
(13:13):
man can't even do something right, my man can't even
do X y Z blah blah blah, and I you know,
and this happens all the time, right, And so I
think to myself, like, just normally is not putting, like
not putting your projections of whatever you're going through in
a space where it's somebody is celebrating their love, you know.
(13:34):
But people do it all the time. It's not just me, right,
I'm just using this as an example because it's fresh
on my mind, but any you just everybody does it
all the time. The world is full of people projecting.
And that comes from somewhere. That comes from people who
don't sit with themselves to heal their shit. Because when
you sit with yourself to heal your shit, you are
(13:56):
not going to think even if you're going through something
in the moment, when you're doing your inner work and
you're accustomed doing your inner work, you're not gonna throw
that onto somebody who's this has nothing to do with that,
And is that what I'm saying. So it'll show up
when you don't do what you need to do for yourself.
When you don't heal your shit, when you don't work
through your shit, when you don't sit with your shit,
unpack your shit and name your shit, own your shit,
(14:18):
work through your shit. It'll show up man in places
that they don't need to be, you know, and they
It will affect other not just you, but it'll affect
other people. It'll affect relationships that you're trying to have,
It'll affect your friendships, It'll it'll constantly blow up in
your face. So and then it's like one of those
things where you take two steps forward and then you
(14:39):
know something comes and knocks you ten steps backwards. Well
that's something, is you? Baby? Is that I'm saying? That's something?
Is you? You know, when you don't do what you need
to do for yourself, you knock yourself back ten steps backwards, right,
and then have the nerve the audacity to sit around
and be like, you know, when is it gonna this?
When am I gonna this? Ask asking for timelines, asking
(15:01):
for people to point you in directions of a timeline
that only is nobody can give you. It doesn't exist.
I can't tell you in two years, in six months,
in four days, in seven hours. In three weeks, you
will be healed. I can't tell you that, and nobody
else can tell you that. You can't tell yourself that either.
You just have to take it day by day. And
(15:22):
like I said in the Peace, we're living in a
world of instant gratification where we have everything at our fingertips,
every single thing at our fingertips, and everything comes quickly
Amazon Prime tomorrow, except if you live in Quebec now
because Montreal they took Amazon out a year. But I digress.
It's ridiculous. Um, you know you you door dash this
(15:45):
that the third right? Everything apt to downloads right away?
This than the third right? If your phone's like God forbid,
something loads for longer than three seconds, do you not?
Most of y'all just be a little the fuck boys
is taking so long? Right? We really live in this
world of like now now, now, now now, and it
(16:07):
fuses in your mind. You think, okay, this times for this,
what a timestown for this? How long is this gonna take?
Like everything comes with the timestam and it's just not
how it works. You have to separate the You're gonna
have to separate the two, and that's your responsibility. Your
work that and we live in it. When I said before,
(16:27):
everything is at our fingertips, and yet people choose not to.
If everything's at our fingertips, why isn't it? Why are
so many people not doing their inner work? No, seriously,
and if if that, if that's you, I'm asking you
too write. If everything's at our fingertip, if you can Google,
if you can fucking chat GTP, if you can, if
(16:49):
there's coaches, if there's therapists, if there's books. There's so
many books. Oh my god, there's so many books. Why
are so many people allergic to mother Book of reading? Like?
If everything is at our fingertips, why aren't you utilizing
the space? Exactly? Most people are not using their smartphones
for smart things, right, Most people are not using their
(17:10):
library to And that's a library in your neighborhood or
the library on Amazon, you know what I mean. But
the resources, the books, the everything that's available to them
to use to help them. Most people are not doing
this because that requires facing yourself, and most people are
not interested in facing themselves. They're interested in pointing outwards.
(17:32):
And when you don't face yourself, shit starts to pile up,
pile up, pile up, pile up, and you will fucking
you will spatz all over yourself and all over everybody else. Right,
it's like vomit. It's like vomiting on a roller coaster. Yeah, yeah,
on a roller coaster. You know have thing that turns around.
I don't know what, but it's like your back is
(17:55):
like against the wall and it spins. Everybody's back is
against the wall, and then yeah and if you throw
up on that shit, well somebody else get you know
what I mean. I haven't been to an amusement park,
you know, very long time. This time I was like,
twenty three is you won't catch me there? You'm I
go on a known mother buck and rides. I'm not
to give you myself hard at tack. Thank you very much.
The point is I digress, take your time. I told
(18:21):
my client the day, I was like, hey, not for nothing,
buttself for everything. It took me three years, three years.
Have you ever read letters to my ex to get
over James? Three three long yes? Right? And it didn't
mean that in those three years. And that's the part
I want to make clear as well. Right, it does
(18:41):
not mean that in those three years I was just
sitting home, waiting for you. Just staring at the walls
is all I do. That's not what I was doing, right.
It doesn't mean that I spent three years just in
my room, locked up, you know, crying. It just a
was your lover, man, your secretary. That's not what was
(19:04):
going on, right. I was still living my life. I
was still doing things. I was still going to work,
I was still having good times. I was meeting people.
I was not meeting people I was having I was dating.
I was not dating. I was having uh single time,
I was having semi relationship time I was having I
(19:28):
was I was living my life. But in those three years,
I would still have moments, days, weeks, months where I
was fucking sad, where I was hurt, where I was angry,
where I wanted to be very honest ring his doorbell
with a baseball bat and and and mash up everything
and out of pelias. That's not healthy, But doesn't mean
(19:51):
that it didn't go through my mind interest of thoughts. Right,
that's also a crime. But the point I didn't do it,
pus by the way, anybody didn't do it, got somebody
else to do it. The point I didn't, No, I'm
just I'm just I'm just serious. I'm just kidding. I'm
just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. The point is, okay,
(20:16):
let me stop playing with y'all. Oh God, here someone spentley,
I can I help you? Okay? Thanks. The point is
I had three years of I didn't know how I
was gonna feel in the morning when I woke up,
and even when I had two month stretches where I
didn't think of this motherfucker at all. Then boom, someone
(20:36):
says his name, and I'm right back to the day
that I walked away, right, or or whatever the kiss
may be. And then I'm like, fuck, here we go again. Right,
I had to go through it, you know. And then
one day That's why you hear people say other time
like one day, I get that's why sometimes you people
cannot pinpoint. They can't pinpoint when exactly they stop feeling
(21:00):
how they felt right, or when exactly things change, because
you'll help people say like one day I woke up
and I just didn't feel xyz anymore. That's a very
real thing. One day, you're not even thinking about it.
You're doing something very mundane. You're washing the dishes or
you're folding the clothes, or you're taking a walk, or
(21:20):
you're downtown, or you're with your homegirls or whatever the
case may be, right, and somebody says his name and
you feel nothing. You're just like, okay, well, wish him
whatever he deserves, and you mean it, like you know,
and you're just like, huh, you know. Or one day
you're driving, you know, downtown, taking my way in downtown.
(21:43):
You're driving downtown and all of a sudden, a song
plays and it reminds you of him, and then you
think to yourself, wow, I haven't thought about the motherfuck
in a long time, actually, And then you think to yourself,
and I'm thinking about him right now, and I don't care.
Interesting right, my body's not doing the thing it used
(22:03):
to do. My heart's not beating fast. I'm not feeling upset,
I'm not feeling sad. I'm kind of maybe I'm do
I feel sad for him a little bit? Okay? Do
I Right? Like this is really how it happens. You know,
it's not a it's not a one size fits all
for everybody. And so no matter what it is that
(22:25):
you're going through, like I said in the piece, no
matter whatever it is, baby, let's you self feel it.
Lets you self feel it without exploding on other people.
And just because you're feeling it, it doesn't mean you have
to explain it to others or give it to others
or put it on other people or da da da.
You can keep some shit to yourself, right, Like everything
does not need to be shared. That's another thing too.
(22:49):
Every minute of your life and every feeling and every
season that you're in doesn't need to be shared with
your friends, your mom, your sister, auntie, social media. It
could just be for you, you and your journal, right,
But let it come up and let yourself feel it.
Because the more you get in the habit of facing
your shit rather than running from it, the more you
(23:09):
will know what to do when things come up, and
you will it also build your self trust and your
self confidence. Right Like, I trust myself to feel my
fucking feelings. I trust myself to feel my feelings. I
trust myself to face my feelings. I trust myself to
look at my feelings and to work through them. I
trust myself to sit in my feelings. I trust myself.
(23:29):
I trust myself. You see what I'm saying. Okay, that's
all I have for you guys today, I just want
to I just want to say that. Plus, I've been
away for a while, so you know, surpressed, surpress. Anyways,
I was talking on Instagram Life anyways. I hope this
helped you. Peace by the way, Okay, well this really
(23:50):
helped you. What was I going to say now? Bloody hell? Oh? Yes,
I was talking on my Instagram live the other day
because I popped up there too, snapgrackled popcallos or as
Chris Breeze anyways, And I might be putting together a
Goople class called Power the Pussy. It's not about it's
(24:13):
not about uh, it's not about what you think it's about.
It's pay pussy. It's not about what you think it's about.
There will be a lot of spiritual moon cycle, a
little bit of some witchie things in there, so it's
definitely not a class for everybody. We will be talking
(24:35):
about your pussy as a portal. I'm so serious. There's
a lot of things that will go on in that class.
I'm thinking about putting it together. If I do, I'll
be putting it together on Friday, April twelfth, because it
is a full moon and it is a pink Full
Moon at that I think it's actually the perfect one
to do it. But I'm still working at the details
(24:56):
because you know, we have children. Yes, we have to
work out the details. But I and April twelfth is
Saturday night, so Saturday night, I feel the air is
getting hot. Be my baby. Anyways, if I do put
it together, I'm still thinking about it. I don't know
(25:18):
where I'm gonna let you guys know. Actually I don't
even know. I'll fling it up in one of my
ig stories, That's what I'll do. I'll you know, either
on both on if we're being honest Instagram and the
Crimson Kiss Instagram. I'll post it there, you know, so
that you guys know what's happening. But please note, there
will be no let me do something. I'm doing this
(25:39):
in a very specific way, and there's a very good
reason why I'm doing it this way. There will be
no replays, there will be no playbacks, there will be
none of that shit. It is going to be Uh,
You're gonna get your seat and you have to be present.
You must be present. That's it. That's it. That's it.
If you get your seat and then you can't make
(26:00):
it we'll just like if you get a ticket for
a concert and you can't make it, we'll you miss
the concert. That's it. That's all right. There's no refunds,
there's no exchance, there's none of that shit. It is done.
If I'm going to do another class, I'm doing it
for women who are really ready to show up for themselves,
you know. It's what I'm saying, and not take the
lazy way out. So that's what it's going to be.
(26:21):
It's going to be you come on the day or
maybe you miss it. This is going to happen. So
I'll let you guys know through one of my Instagram channels,
such my Instagram channels it's not YouTube, one of my
Instagram pages, both of them. And yeah, that's it. That's
that's it. Okay. So in the meantime, you guys know,
(26:42):
you can click the link in the show notes go
to Siskitches together dot com if you need books, if
you need workbooks, if you need coaching. I don't know
if I have any, Well, we'll see. I think there's
appointments available for game plan calls if you need that.
But that is it. That is it. I just wanted
(27:03):
to come on here and share that with you guys.
And you know, plus it's been a while, so you
know what I'm saying, that is it. I hope that
you enjoyed today's voice note. Maybe that's what we'll do
from now on. Maybe we'll just we'll keep the podcast
like voice notes. We'll have our regular music intro I
mean otro, but it would just be like a long
(27:24):
voice note. Anyways, I hope I was able to keep
you company wherever you are, whatever you're doing, ladies, I
appreciate you always, thank you for being here. And in
that note, I'm gonna go. I hope that you guys
have a good rest of your morning's evenings, afternoons or
over the book Yeller in the world, please be safe,
use condoms, trust your intuition, and use your discernment, and
(27:46):
I will catch y'all on the next episode. Sending us
how much love God be great. Sp
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