The Magic of Healing, Believing, and Intentions

Today's episode is a story-time with a profound message wrapped up in it. I hope it helps someone out there who needed it. XO
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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
My name is CCB, but most people just call me B.
I am thirty nine years young. I've been through a lot.
I've also put myself through a lot, and one day
I got sick and tired of my own shit. And
that's the day when change started happening. I stopped lying
to myself and started getting painfully honest with myself. But
it was only painful because I had been lying to

(00:22):
myself for so long. About nine or ten years ago, now,
give or take, I started writing books about my journey
through my toxic relationships and how I got out of
them and then stayed out of them by building a
healthy relationship with myself. So there is nothing that I
say on this podcast that I haven't already had to
say to myself at some point in time, and yes,

(00:44):
in the exact same tone as I say it here.
So if you are sensitive to honesty, girl, I promise you,
this is not the place for you to be. I
don't sugarcoat shit for myself, so I'm not doing it
for anyone else. Besides, how are you going to be
more offended by another woman being honest with you telling
you the truth than you are by the man or
men who lie to you every day and treat you

(01:06):
like shit. Food for thought, finish your plates, what up
boozes your girl be and welcome back to another episode
of This Sketch Is Together pod cast. I hope that
you guys are having a great day to day. I

(01:27):
hope that you woke up feeling revived and rejuvenated with
faith that everything that you spoke about with your spirit
team the night before is being worked out for you
in the background, somehow, some way. But please remember, you
got to help your spirit team help you, all right.
That means you got to put yourself in the position
to give the things that you want, nist to chest
and niece to chest, because that's right. Even the person

(01:50):
who wish she's doing the lottery knows that they got
to play the numbers. It is currently tennel three am
here and it's sunny, but it's cold outside. What the fuck? Here?
We go Contreal, Canada, And I don't know what I'm
going to title this episode today, so I'm just going
to record it and what I'm done, I'll create a
title and then you'll see the title when you click
on it. Do you know what I mean? Okay? Cool,
go get a snack. It'd be like that sometimes, go

(02:12):
get a snack, a juice box or a glass of wine.
Put your triggers to the side, so you got room
to open up your mind and let's get into the episode,
shall we. So we were in Mexico for a week.

(02:49):
As y'all know, I'm so proud of myself because before
I left, I was like, oh, man, I can't leave
them hanging. I can't leave them hanging for a week.
So I pre recorded three episodes and then I set
a timer for them to go out. I love I
love my studio, the studio that I used to record,

(03:11):
because you know, you can do that, you can set
the shit to go out. And I was like, yeah,
so the last two episodes, you guys heard of the
last three episodes. I wasn't even here, nah, but no,
but I was really happy that I was able to
do that. I was trying to do them also for
my my Tarot podcast, but I couldn't do a week
in advance because I was so last minute. And I
was like, Okay, well, at leastay I'll get something, you

(03:33):
know what I mean. Anyways, so I wanted to just
talk to you all about like I don't know what
I'm going to title this episode, but I knew it
was on my mind to speak about and when we
were leaving Mexico. Not leaving, but I think like the
day or two days before, I was like, man, this
is such a beautiful experience and I really want to

(03:56):
share it with y'all because I think it's important. No,
I don't think. I know it's important for women who
listen with all the shit that you guys see on
social media that we us, all of us collectively as women,
right see on social media about relationships and about like
a lot of times is always the bad shit that

(04:16):
goes viral, and rightfully so, because that's drama, right, and
people are really attracted to drama, and there's a lot
of rage bait out there that draws women in. And
as a result, I know the collective of women feel like,
oh there I good men out there. There's no this,

(04:37):
there's no that. Right. And then also too, I know
that a lot the collective of women, I think the
advice that gets given out okay, sorry, please hold well, Yeah,
they're my thoughts, do new new new new, new new new.
I know that the collective of women always get bombarded
with five things you need to do in order to

(05:01):
our relationship, seven things you need to be aware of,
six things like all these lists, right, And I think
lists are great for many things, But I also think
that it does us the collective of women a disservice
at the same time. And two things can be true
at the same time. You'll know, I say that shit
all the time because there are moments or there are

(05:24):
elements about our relationship that are so important and I
don't think that they get the the light or the
conversation or the space that they deserve for conversation, gine.
I mean, So I'm just gonna I'm just gonna get
into it. So as y'all know, spirituality is a very

(05:46):
very big part of my life. You know, I'm a
herbologists and small bugg. I got jars and herbs and
all kinds of things. I do my rituals, I do
my full moons, my new moons, my all the moons.
I read a lot, I study a lot, you know,
my taro, my all the things, right, and it's a

(06:08):
very very big part of my life. And for a
long time I hid that about myself because people think
it's weird. That's just okay. People think it's weird. I
also have my own gifts, YadA, YadA, YadA. So and
I also thought I was a little crazy, to be honest,
you know what I mean. Also that for a long time,

(06:29):
like you're fucking trip and don't tell anybody this shit
because they gonna put you in a ward, you know.
But as I grew and I evolved on my inner
work journey and my healing journey. And y'all know that
I say this all the time. Your healing journey and
your spiritual journey are They're the same in my Whether
and whether you are whatever it is that you, whatever

(06:51):
spirituality means to you, and I want to say that
as well, whatever spirituality means to you, whether that is religion,
whether that is free spirit, whether that is witchcraft of
whatever sort, whether that is the nature, the stars, the
mo I don't give a fuck, Right, whatever you connect
to on a spiritual level, right, that is yours, okay,

(07:16):
And nobody can take that from you. And that is
why when we heal our hearts, we're healing our spirit
as well. Right, we have a mind because we are
spirits at the end of the day, Right, so we
have a mind, we have a heart, we have a spirit,
and every woman out there knows what it feels like

(07:41):
to have your spirit broken. Am I getting emotional? We
just started shut up? Stop it right. To have your
your spirit broken, it's it's a heartbreak, but on a
different level, you know. And so this is why I
always say, when you start to get on your healing ny,
you were also healing your an your spiritual journey. You're

(08:02):
a healing spirit the same way. So as I did,
you know, went through and continue to go through. Obviously
my healing journey, I started to deeply tap into my
spirituality and really reconnect with parts of myself that I
had hidden for a long time and I kept secret.

(08:26):
And you know that's on, you know, a whole transformation.
And I have met men before who were spiritual, but
not really do you know what I mean. I have
met men before who were like, oh yeah, cool, yeah,

(08:50):
there's a spiritual yeah right, but didn't keep up with it.
So the minute somebody talks to me about their spiritual
I always start to pay attention to their rituals. And
rituals can be just literally a daily routine, right what
they're doing in the morning, and the evening and afternoon,
and how they're reconnecting to themselves and to whatever they

(09:12):
say that they believe in, and how they're plugging in.
And I really pay attention to these things. And you
can tell when somebody is doing their inner work by
the shit that they say. Okay, you can tell when
somebody is is and they don't. It's not that they're
putting it on. It's not that they're whatever. It's that
it's just in their everyday's speech. It's in their every

(09:33):
day lingo. What do you do today? You know, it's
the same thing as people who are into fitness, Right,
what did you do today? I woke up today, da
da da, I got my seven k steps in and
the right, you know, right in the early, bright and early,
and then I did this and then I went to
the right. It's part of their every day vocabulary. It's
the same thing with inner work, spiritualities, so on and

(09:56):
so forth. It's part of people's every day vocabulary. So
I can really started in my own in our work.
I was able to start as I as okay, sorry,
my words are getting jumbled in my head. When I
as I start to see myself clearly, I started to
be able to see other people clearly. And that's something
that I say to y'all, and I'm very vocal about
all the time. When you start to see yourself clearly,

(10:21):
you will see other people clearly, and you will hear
them clearly as well. And you will not even because
you're purposely trying to take note, but you're gonna take note.
It's just gonna happen naturally. And so I was very
aware of men who would say that they're spiritual, but

(10:41):
they didn't move it, do you know what I mean?
And that doesn't that doesn't mean that they got to be,
you know, every day following the commandments into That's not
what I'm talking about, right, but their everyday speech and
their everyday behavior, how they moved through life, even the
fact that how they were so wicked to certain people.
And I would think to myself, I don't know what

(11:03):
kind of spirit that you are praying to, you know,
And I don't know what kind of spirit that you're
or spirituality journey that you're own. My God, I don't
know how you could be so wicked to somebody and
not think, oh, this shit can come back to me, right, Like,
you know what I mean, so nays fast forward, enter
doing obviously, and Douane is spiritual and very gifted in

(11:25):
his own right, very gifted, very powerful. He has his
own spiritual gifts, which are they Sometimes they get on
my motherfucker nerves like he can definitely hear things, which
is great and not always great for me. I digress.
So something that is very important to me is, as

(11:46):
y'all know, I used to leave every year for you know,
almost six months and I will go to Miami. It
was a snowbird and I recharge. A lot of it
was done in the ocean. And I think I told y'all.
I think I told y'all in the last episode that

(12:10):
I didn't because I hadn't I haven't left for the
last two years, that I didn't realize how much my
not having the ocean and not being recharged in the
ocean had affected me throughout the last two months. Are
these children the sorry I'm near a daycare, y'all know,
if you hear kids in the background, I'm so sorry

(12:31):
about that. They're outside while'n out Anyways, So I didn't
know how I didn't realize how much that affected me
until I realized it right so boom. We go to Mexico,
and Mexico was chaotic. Let me just tell y'all, Okay,
let me know. Let me give you tea before I
give you the beauty. Okay, let me give the tea first.

(12:55):
So long story short, we go there for a wedding.
Duane was a groom's ma and one of his very
very very very good boys is getting married. Cool. Now,
the issue is not with the with the groom, with
the bread. Let's get that out the way. None. This
has nothing to do with them. They're great, they're excellent,
they're amazing. Love them. The issue is a lot of

(13:18):
their friends circles are basically directly connected to Duyanne and
I's passed. Okay, I'm going to try to speak as
eloquently as possible, just because one, motherful know who's listening,
and two I just don't want to like get just

(13:40):
try to do my best. I grew up in a
little area in Montreal called LaSalle, and I escaped that place,
okay because at a very early age, which I realized

(14:01):
there was something in the water there, like the energy,
I I just could not One. Two there's a lot
of traumatic events that happened to me while I was
living there, and a lot of the people that were
involved in those traumatic events, I never want to fucking

(14:24):
see them again. And that's fair, right. I outgrew the environment,
and more than that, I healed from the environment, and
I do not like to be put back in environments
that had originally made me sick. Didn't stand cool. Dayne's

(14:45):
situation is similar, however, a little bit more difficult to
navigate because his children still the mom right lives in LaSalle,
So the children's lives are rooted there, and so you know,

(15:13):
Ian is so what I'm saying, So he still has
to be in the environment, and is sad I'm saying now.
I did not know who was gonna be. I knew
like a few people who were going to be at
the wedding. Cool cool, cool, but I didn't know. I
just didn't know the extent of anyways, we get there,
it's a fucking high school reading one that I did

(15:37):
not I did, I did not want, I didn't I
never I never want to be a part of high
school reading. Don't want to see the mother fucus evergein
in my life. Anyways. So the energy was was particularly
heavy and chaotic. So Dwayne and I together had a
great time. We had he and I locked in great

(16:00):
time together. But yea to sound, I'm saying, the influences
around us were just very, very heavy, and there was
a few things that happened that I'm not gonna speak about,
but let's just say I had to check some Usia
is insane. I had to be like, okay, you understand
the language. I had to be like, it does excuse me,

(16:22):
you understand. So every time I go to an ocean,
one of my things is I go in the ocean,
you know, but you know I don't. I don't go
far enough for my fee. You can't touch the floor now, job,
because I'm not Okay, I am crazy. I am water,

(16:43):
and I know how dangerous water can get. Okay, under sound,
I'm saying, cool, then she will sweep you away anyways,
and I don't know what's under there. Okay, my fee.
You can't touch the ground, that's it. But I go
and I do a cleanse ile in the ocean. I
give thanks to the ocean. I give thanks to the

(17:06):
water spirits. I give thanks to my spirit team. I
really get in there, and a lot of times I
will cry. I do releasing, and then I do offerings
and I ask for shit, you know what I mean.
I'm like, hey, can you help me this area? I'm
trying to bring this in. Can you help me here?
Can you? So on and so forth, right and a
lot of times I will not only pray for myself,

(17:28):
I'll pay for other people. You want to know what's
so crazy? I had that note. Sorry, so I was
in the water. Sorry, I'm just going to fast forward
for a second. It's a story time. Just you know,
get a snack in a juice box or a lasts
of wine and just chill out. Okay. So I am
one of the days I was in the ocean and
two of my clients came to mind, and I don't know,
like they just they just like they were on my heart.

(17:51):
And so while I was in there, I was praying
for them, and I was just like and plus these
two in particular, like I know that they've just been
through so much, you know, So I was praying for
them in particular, and so on and so forth. Yesterday,
one of the women, one of the women my clients,
she hops on zoom and she says, I'm like, She's like, oh,

(18:17):
you know, because she doesn't really quire. She's not a crier.
You know, I'm like myself, she's not really a crier
like that, but she got a lot in her that,
you know, needs to be released. Anyways, so she said,
I don't know what's going on, She's like, but for
some reason this weekend, starting on Friday, I just been crying.
It's like it was like a wave, she said, like

(18:38):
this wave crashed into me and I was just crying
and crying, and I just felt like I was releasing
so much and I started my eyes started to well
up in the screen on the zoom. I'm like, holy fuck.
And it was such a beautiful because that's what I

(19:00):
had prayd for her, because that is the moment that
she was describing, was the the day, the time was
when I was praying for her, and I just it
was just so beautiful. It's just so beautiful. I don't like,
nobody can tell me that magic is not real. First
of all, nobody, nobody, nobody, nobody. It was just a
beautiful thing. So anyways, I just wanted to give that

(19:21):
tidbit before I forgot it. Shout out to Devin So
and Amanda So. I I told Dayne, you know that
about you know what I do in the water, and
so on and so forth, And before we even got
to Mexico, he was like, can we do it together?

(19:45):
I was like, absolutely, we can do it together. And
even that and of itself was just so beautiful for
him to even ask. Right. And I'm a little bit
more spiritually, I want to say, mature than Duane. And
one thing I really love about Dyne is because it
in the area He's not afraid to be like, I
don't know how to do this? Can you show me?

(20:07):
Right when it comes to like spirituality, or it comes
to anything really, but when it comes to spirituality, right, Like,
he doesn't pretend that he has all the answers. If
he knows that I'm more experienced than something spiritual wise,
he will have no problem asking me to help or
to show him. And I just think that's a beautiful thing,
because you know how so many men have their fucking

(20:28):
engles and they want to act like da da da,
and that in himself is beautiful. So I was like, yeah,
apps a fucking lutely, And so I made sure to
gather my offerings for myself and for him before we
went into the water. And so we go and I
asked Dayne permission to share this, by the way, because
it's a little bit personal, and I'm not going to
go into too much like depth about his own personal stuff.

(20:51):
But I asked him if I could share this and
he said, yeah, absolutely. So I just want you allst
to know that he got permission. So we go into
the water and we go just a little bit further out,
not too far, and the water in because we were
in Kancoon and so where we were like it was
very like it was basically you could be on your knees,

(21:14):
let's just say, and the water will cover you up
to your neck. Does that make sense, and for a
little while out, okay, so like a little while out,
so I wasn't afraid to go too far because the
plus I have my babyside me, I wasn't that afraid
to go too far as long as like that was
the situation that my knees. I could be on my
knees in the water and the water was up to
my neck, and that was fine because the minute I
stood up, you get what I'm saying. So we go

(21:37):
out into the water and I tell Duane, I say, okay,
we're gonna do it individually first, right, individually, and then
we'll come together for our relationship. We'll come together, we'll
hold hands, we'll hold each other for our relationship. He says, okay,
So I'm gonna get emotional. So we go into the

(21:59):
water on the first time, go into the water, and
I'm on my side and he's on his side. We're
not too far away from each other, but we're kind
of like in our own little personal you know. And
I tell him, I'm like, you just close your eyes.
I'm like, and you just give it all to the

(22:20):
water spirits, give it all to spirit, give it all,
just give it all. And I told him to also
work with this element because he's a Gemini. So I
told him to work with his air. And I told
him to imagine. So Dane has a spirit animal. It's
a falcon. And so I told him, as he's speaking,
to imagine himself being cleansed by the water, but his

(22:42):
words right being carried away by the falcon, right, and
whatever it is that he's at being carried away to
do like a message, Like you know, when a bird
comes and brings a message, or a bird takes a
message and goes break to someone else. Right, So I
told him to imagine that. So, because everybody has their
own way of what feels comfortable to them, that's number

(23:05):
one when they're praying and releasing visualizing. Some people are
better with visualizing, some people are better with talking, some
people are you know. But I knew that was going
to connect for him. Dane is a very He's a Gemini,
so he's very in his head thinking about the process
of things, you know, so on and so forth. Excuse me,

(23:25):
Oh my gosh. So I wanted him to feel to
really like tap into all of his elements so he
could be as comfortable as possible. So he's on his side.
I'm on my side, and you know, I'm doing my thing.
I'm tapped in doing my thing. I'm doing my thing.
I'm doing my thing. And as I'm coming out of
my thing, I look over to Dwayne and he's bawling

(23:50):
like tears are like but his eyes are still closed.
Tears are like coming and coming, and I he is
so beautiful, like I cannot it was so beautiful, and
I felt him like through I can't even just say
I just felt him. And so I'm giving him like

(24:15):
I didn't want to interrupt him, you know, but I'm
I'm watching him, and I know that he had so
much to release. I know that he did. I didn't
know the extent of it, though, And he's just like
I can see his lips moving, and he's talking and
he's giving, and he's talking, he's crying, he's giving it, crying,

(24:36):
giving it. So finally he opens his eyes and he
looks at me, and I like, I nod gently and
I say, give your offering, and so he gives his offering.
And then I go to him and I like dunk
him gently in the water, so I cover his whole head,

(24:58):
cover him completely and water. And then he comes up
and like he wraps his arms around me, and then
you know, we start our ritual for our relationship and
to cover us for ourselves. And I say to Duanne,
I say, so he's looking at me for like some guidance,

(25:19):
you know, because he's never done this before. And I've
never done it before either with a man, to be honest, like,
I've never done this shit before with a man either.
And that's what made it even get more beautiful and powerful.
And I look at him and he looks at me,
and I tell him, I say, I trust you to
take the lead on our prayer. Whatever comes to your mind,
whatever comes to your heart. There is no wrong way

(25:39):
to pray. So whatever comes to your heart, whatever comes
to your mind, I trust you to cover us. And
so he nodded, closes his eyes, wraps. His arms are
still wrapped around me. I wrap my arms around him.
Now at this point, the water is very still, and
the water had been pretty still the entire time. Okay,

(26:00):
very very still, very calm. It's really important to note
very still, very calm. So he starts to pray. My
forehead is to his foreheads, so third eye chakra to
thirdad shot, third eye chakra. He's praying, and he's crying,
and he's praying, and how I start crying. He's praying,
he's crying, he's praying, he's crying. He's covering us. He's

(26:22):
covering us. And all of a sudden, the water starts
to rock us. It's rocking us. Now we're both on
our knees. Please keep this in mind. We're both on
our knees in the sand, in the in the ocean.
The water starts to rock us, and rock us and
rock us and rock us, but like it wasn't like

(26:43):
an aggressive rock, you know, but it's rocking us. And
keep in mind before separately I was my eyes were
closed the same way, and the water wasn't rocking me
like that. When he was done, the water and still again,
I like. And not only that, I forgot to tell

(27:06):
you what's important detail. So that day wasn't particularly a
nice day. It was very cloudy. It had been cloudy
like all day. When we were done, the water stops rocking,
and the fucking sun when it starts beaming on dayne

(27:28):
when I tell you, like, I can't like a ray,
a clear, bright, warm ray of sun peeks out from
the clouds, clouds starts separating and is just on Duyne

(27:48):
And I'm looking at this like what the like, I
am in awe, I'm an absolute awe. And then it
and then it opens up wider and then it's both
of us and it's warm, and it's it's it's it
is wrapped around both of us, and I'm like wow,

(28:10):
and I feel revived and rejuvenated and I feel heard
and I feel seen and I feel safe in a
way that like I can't even I'm not I'm not
gonna cry. I'm not gonna cry in a way that
I'm I just can't. I just can't even describe it.

(28:35):
Oh my god, what is this? My alarm Jesus Christ
is scared? The ship ow to me? Stop? Sorry so scared? Sorry, right,
it's my alarm. Is like, take your vitamins. Okay, So
thank you? So yeah, so it was a beautiful Oh no,

(28:56):
let me tell you guys this. So before we so
way so way, so way, so way so so before.
It's like I'm in the room with you, guys, like
before we left, like I think like two days before
we left. You know the the Instagram page moon Omens,
you probably know it, so I follow them and I
had seen Gemini November Expectations, right, so it said this

(29:19):
would be where we left. So it said, oh no,
this is not it. Sorry sorry sorry, hold on. It
said where's it? Okay, It said Gemini love Life in November.
So it had said this could be a beautiful month
for you, filled with love, not just for a particular person,
but for life itself, yourself and everyone around you. It's

(29:39):
a great time to express this love and make others
feel good too. If you're single, this doesn't matter if
it wasn't for him. But then it goes into uh,
you'll soften any sharp edges and intimate relationships and improve connections.
Traveling with a partner is likely to provide op oportunities

(30:00):
for deeper bonding. However, you may face challenges needing to
balance your needs with your partners. It's an ideal time
for compliments, gifts, and heartfelt messages to celebrate your connection.
So when I originally saw it, I sent it this
is before we left. When I originally saw it, I
sent it to Joanne and I was like, look it
says traveling with a partner, right, That's all I was.

(30:22):
That's all. I was a dead punt. Just it says
you're going to travel with a partner, and we're traveling, right,
and interestingly enough for Pisces. A lot of my stuff
in October, towards the end of October was talking about
me traveling, so I was like, look at this traveling
in November particularly, So I was just a dead punt traveling. However,

(30:44):
after the thing, we were in our room, we were
back in her room and I was like, Yo, reread
the fucking reread the thing I sent you right. So
we're rereading it and I'm like, wow, wow, you know.
So we had done the We had done the ritual twice,

(31:06):
and I think Dwayne had because one day I wasn't
feeling well. I don't want to talk about it. One day
my belly was really really running me. It was not
it was not It was not a joke. So we
did the ritual together twice, and then Dwayne had done
one by himself and I was so fucking proud of him.
He went to the water and did it by himself

(31:26):
because I could not make a child. But it was
just a beautiful thing to feel, to experience and to
witness him being so open to to that level of

(31:47):
spirituality and being so and connecting himself to it so deeply.
It was funny. After and then the ritual, I was like,
did I just want to fucking baptize you? Because I
was like, that is baptized. He's like yeah, kind oft
I was like, oh that, you know, but don't it
hid in the water and everything. But it was an
honor for me as well. And it one hundred percent

(32:13):
just when I thought that Dwayne and I could not
get any closer because we're very, very close. Here we
are just closer, and I can't I can't even describe it.
I say all that Tom saying, I'm telling you all
this story to say this. There are men in my

(32:34):
past who I've cried, Oh God, who I've who I've
cried over, Who I've cried about? Who I've cried because
of who? At the time, you know, it wasn't working out,
having a breakup whatever the caisse and b who at
the time, I thought, even though I knew that they

(32:54):
weren't let me explain me. Even though I knew that
they weren't for me at the times of breakup, it's
still it was that element of like not again, you know,
like oh, I can't this, or why can't I just
have this? Or why can't you know somebody love me
enough to make it work? Or why can't you under
sound I'm saying those type of emotions, And today I'm like,

(33:21):
I understand, you know, I understand why it took me
so long. It took me so long to find somebody
who I was, who was my for me And granted

(33:41):
everybody was let me sleeper say that again, because everybody
was for everybody. Every man who's ever been in my
life was for me at the time, because I had
lessons to learn, so on and so forth, whatever the
case be. So let me not say for me, because
every single person has been for me, whether I liked
it or not, because they've all been mirrors. But I
understand why it took me so long to end up

(34:04):
with a person that in my spirit I really needed
and wanted and I imagined existed and believed existed for me.
And it was because I myself had to be ready
to experience this. I myself had to be and that

(34:26):
I myself had to be ready to receive it, ready
to work with it, ready to Dayne challenges me in
ways that sometimes I want to scream, but it's not
like an aggressive challenge, and it's some he doesn't even

(34:47):
realize that he's challenging me. But sometimes like the the
question he asks me, or the call outs, the gentle loving,
gentle partnering call outs, that he gives me the challenging
and I know for a fact that twenty eight year
old me wouldn't look who twenty eight year old me

(35:14):
with all my trick my unresolved wounds, my triggers, my this,
my that, whatever the case saying be I would have
I would it wouldn't have gone well, and vice versa
for him twenty eight year old him or thirty two
year old him. You know what I mean, I just
would not have gone. It would just wouldn't. And while
I've always known at a level, some level or another

(35:34):
that your life and your single time and all this
stuff is and your journey and your healing and the
importance of it is to prepare you for the version
of yourself that you want to step into, for the
life that you are saying that you want for yourself.
And then obviously you know, you know me is always

(35:55):
self first in the man last, do you know what
I mean? Because you need to do your shit for yourself,
not to not to prepare for a fuck good man,
to prepare for yourself right to meet the version of yourself,
but also that yes, to pre and at the end
of the list, to prepare for the love that you
say that you want or the relationship is to you want,
whatever the case I be. I've always known that at
some level, but to reflect on it now as I'm

(36:19):
more mature mentally, emotionally, spiritually, physically, too right to have
that reflection and to really understand it for its entirety
is just I just understand, you know. And I wanted

(36:44):
to share this today because I would like for y'all
to be inspired in this sense. I mean, do whatever
you want, but I can't force you to be inspired,
but I would like My purpose of sharing this is
to inspire y'all end of the day. That is my
intention and my purpose to know that there's a reason

(37:07):
why your life is unfolding the way that it's unfolding,
and you have choices. There is no wrong path that
you can take, and if you feel that it is wrong,
then you can always change directions. You don't have to
wait for January first to decide you're going to do

(37:27):
some shit or not do some shit, or stop doing
some shit, or try something new or do something new.
You can do it the minute your spirit you feel
it in you like this is not it. I need
to change directions. That is the minute you can start.
You can change your direction. You can change your mind,
you can change your thought process, and you could practice

(37:49):
doing that and you can get on a new path.
Do you understand what I'm saying? There are people in
this world who are here for you to teach you,
to help you, to guide you, to assist you to
whatever the case may be. But if we're not willing

(38:12):
to take the lessons from the experiences that we have,
even when they're bad experiences, if we're not willing to
look at how this can help improve ourselves, then we
keep ourselves on paths that we say we don't want
to be on. You See, if you are like you know,

(38:40):
I want, you know, eventually I wanna whatever whatever good
healthy man did it as someone who's for you, dada dah,
then you're gonna have to stop consuming chaotic things. Chaotic chaotic.

(39:00):
Social media is chaotic. This chaotok that right that only
depict relationships in one way, right, You're gonna have to
I think a lot of women are very addicted to
I'm just gonna go out and say it to bad shit,
to drama, to drama, negativity, toxicity I and I will

(39:21):
say this as well. I think a big part of
it is because a lot of women allow themselves to
be talked out of, or they talk themselves out of
their true deepest desires and wants. You talk yourself out of,
or you allow yourself to be talked out of believing
that what you want exists for you somewhere out there

(39:44):
over the rainbow, right, and you stop believing in your
own magic, and you don't believe in the magic of life,
the magic of your life, you understand. So I did

(40:06):
a tearry reading for somebody not too long ago, and
she had a lot of She had a lot of
challenges that were presenting in her spread a lot, just
a lot of just just a lot of shit was
going on. But something that was very clear was she
only viewed them as challenges and negative things, right. She

(40:30):
was viewing them from one perspective. And I told her,
you need to start viewing these things as opportunities, as
an opportunity for you to grow, learn, gain momentum, so
on and so forth. On the trip, I said to Dwayne,
I know that these energies are really really heavy and

(40:54):
they are difficult to navigate through. They're like a blanket
on us right now. But I want you to view
these energies instead of them being this like difficult da
da da, in one way, also as an opportunity for
you to work through the things that you didn't even

(41:15):
realize you needed to work through. And he said, look,
you're right, you know, because how we view things. We
just did an episode on this the other day about perspectives,
how you view things matters, and two things can be
true at the same time. So, for example, were the

(41:35):
energies heavy as fuck? Yes they were? Yes, yes they were.
But without them, do you think Duane would have tapped
into the things that were hidden deep within that he
needed to release in the ocean. No, he didn't even
know that they were still And again I'm not going
to say too much about what was really going on

(41:55):
because that's really his really personal personal business. I'm not
going to get into that. It's not for the public.
But without these heavy energies, whether he realized it or not,
he needed them in order to push his own stuff
to the surface, right or pull it to the surface
so he could release it properly, because he didn't even

(42:16):
know that it was in there. So those two things
existed at the same time. Yes, they were heavy as fuck,
but also they were opportunities. And I really want, if
you take anything away from this today, to encourage y'all
to start looking at things as opportunities. Oh this is
a fucked up situation, It's an opportunity. For me to

(42:38):
work on my self. Trust. Right, this is a fucked
up situation. It's an opportunity for me to work on
my boundaries. This is a fucked up situation. It's an
opportunity to so on and so forth. Right, this person
is projecting their negative, shitty ass, broken ass, wounded ass
beliefs onto me. This is an opportunity for me to

(43:00):
stand up for myself and stay in my own power,
and stay in my own magic, and and not internalize
what they're projecting onto me. This is an opportunity. You
have opportunities. You all do. We all do, but we
just have to start viewing things in that manner. It

(43:21):
will change your life. I'm gonna give you another example.
One of my homegirls not too long ago. She's also like,
you know, she's a long story, short man. She's trying
to get back on her fitness track to whatever the
case may be. And she was like, Yo, how the
fuck are you getting all these steps in and how
are you doing this right? And I'm like, well, I

(43:42):
told her that, you know, I'd be waking up early,
so on and so forth. I told her my routine
and I'm like, if you want, I'm like when I
go walk by Lely in the morning, that's when I
get in at least my first six five hundred to
seven case steps. That's what I am for, That's what
I try to get in. If you want, we can,
you know, stand, I could call you and we could
walk together. No, no, no, no, no, I'm not I'm not a

(44:02):
morning person. I don't get up in the morning. Da
da da da da, I said, okay, I said, so,
then I gave her another you know something else you
could do? Oh no, no, no, no, I can't do that
because da da da da dada, I said okay, And
then she was, you know, still trying to figure out
something else. So I gave her another solution. Oh no, no,

(44:22):
I can't do that. So finally I was like, you
want to fucking know what? And I said to her,
I'm like, yo, so stay where you are and shut
the fuck up. And she said what I said, stay
where you are then, and shut the fuck up. You
are talking about wanting to change your life around and
wanting to better, you know, do whatever the case they be.
I'm like, but you still want to tie yourself to
the version of you. So the version of you whose

(44:43):
life isn't where you want it to be. Is not
a morning person? Did it ever fucking occur to you
that the version of you that is, you know, getting
in shape and so on and so forth, and the
best shape of your life is a morning person. Did
that ever fucking cross your mind? Because she's pissed? Sorry,
does that little coughing fit? Oh my gosh. So I
was like, did that ever occur to you? And so

(45:06):
she says, you know what, be now, I didn't even
think of that. I said, okay, So now now it's
in your mind, so consider it. Fuck off? Right, my
friends and I have that relationship. We're not sensitive. I
could tell my friend shut the fuck up. My friend
tell me the same thing. Right, we're not We're not sensitive.
Pattis like the internet is. But anyways, edigress. So she's like,

(45:31):
you know, I'd never thought of it like that, and
so on and so forth. And about a week later,
I'm on my walk, Bentley, can you please? About a
week later, I'm on my walk. It's six thirty in
the morning. My phone rings and it's her and I
was like, good morning. She's like, good morning. I'm up
at him. I've been doing this for da da da dah,
What are using me? And that was it. Now, I

(45:54):
wasn't saying that she has to just because I get
up and she has that. No, that's not what I
was saying. Right, you don't have to fucking do what
the fuck I do. Do what works for you. But
my whole thing was that she she every solution that
was in alignment with the version of herself that she
said that she wanted to step into. She was rebuking it.

(46:15):
You see, she wasn't seeing it that way. And sometimes
you need people to help you gain a different perspective,
see things in a different light, like today, right, So
what you're viewing as challenges are opportunities. For example, when
I told y'all before that Duanne challenges me all the
motherfucking time, right, so much I view them, I start

(46:38):
to realize, like, Okay, these are opportunities for me to
see myself clearer, better myself, work on this area, work
on that era, because no matter what we're we're not done.
We're not done. We're not done. We're not we're not done,
We're not finished. Products in her work is a lifelong thing.
Some of our wounds, as much as we heal them,
they're gonna pop up. Sometimes they're going to read surface.

(47:00):
Sometimes we have unfinished business with our wounds that we
didn't know, so on and so forth. And if we're
not open to allowing ourselves to be challenged in those ways,
we're not open to allowing ourselves to view certain things
as opportunities, then we are staying on the same We
are deciding to stay on the same path, the path
that we say that we want to grow from, or

(47:21):
we don't like or so on and so forth, the
path that we fucking complain about all the time. And
that's what that's what we're deciding, and we're choosing to do.
You see. So I encourage y'all to think about your
future self. Who is she? What is she doing? What
does she do? How does she spend her afternoons, afternoons, bye,

(47:43):
how does she spend her after noons, her evenings? You know?
How does she take care of herself? How does she
uphold her boundaries? How does she speak? What books does
she read? So on and so forth? What kind of
fiction books is she into? What kind of like? What?
Who is this woman? And I encourage you to think

(48:04):
about who she is, built her from scratch right, and
then align yourself. Start like, start moving how she would move,
because that's how you'll meet her. That's how you'll get
to where you say you want to be. And then
all the other stuff you know, dating relationships, da da dah, men,

(48:27):
boys blah blah, right is there as well, but they're
not there before you. You can't skip over you to
get to a man. That's fucking insane. And I want
you to know that it is insane. You can't skip
over yourself to get to a man. Earlier in the episode,

(48:49):
I said, my spirituality is something that I really kept
hidden for a long time because a lot of people
would think of mother fucking crazy. It was my own
I didn't want to be judged. Some people do judge
that shit, so on and so forth. Right, I kept
it to myself. But the reality is is I wasn't
accepting it within myself first, you see, I wasn't claiming

(49:12):
it for myself. I was rejecting it. So in my mind,
other people are going to reject it. But the reality was,
it was me who was rejecting it. I was rejecting
the parts of myself. Once I stepped into it and
I claimed it and I said, this is me, this
is fucking me then, and I claimed it for myself,

(49:33):
not because I wanted anybody else to think. No, I
claimed it for myself. Then later on, I am now
able to be with a man who also who accepts
all of me, and who is who shares the same morals, values,
so on and so forth that I do. Who I
can talk to about terror all day long, I could talk.
I could do spreads for I could. We can do rituals,

(49:55):
we can do spiritual cleansings, we can do spiritual baths,
he could do. I fucking cleanse Dwayne so much he
just gets eggs cracked all over him. But right, jeez,
you know, and he'll stand there and he'll let me
cleanse him. You know, I will rub that egg all

(50:17):
over his body, right, three for the three, right for
three weeks, you know whatever. So you know, I can
sit here and I can have my space where I
have my my candles and my my herbs and my

(50:38):
you know whatever bowl I'm working on, whatever jar, I'm
working on whatever the kid's name be. And Dwayne's not
in the house looking Look, that's weird, that's this, that's that.
No at all I get to be my entire self.
We get to have a spiritual room in our house
where it's just herbs, and you would think it was
a store. You think you think you're walking in. It's old, right,

(51:00):
you think you walk it into sometimes, you know, like
where I can have all my things and it's not
just my things, it's our things, you know. And I
wouldn't have been able to to have this relationship if
I didn't have myself, if I didn't have the healthy

(51:21):
relationship with myself, if I didn't experience it with me first,
I wouldn't be able to experience it with somebody else,
which is what I absolutely wanted. But it had to
start with me, and not just for two days, not
just for five days. No, it had to start with me.
I tell you all all the time. One thing about

(51:43):
me is I never stopped believing, no matter how many
times my heart are broken, no matter how many times
I broke my own motherfucking heart, Because let's be real,
I never stopped believing that what I truly wanted in
a partner and a man, in whatever exactsted somewhere out
there for me. And never let anybody take that from me.

(52:05):
I never let women. Oh, you. You are shooting for
the stars, okay, bitch, and I'm magic. Next, it is
that my fault that you believe your arms are too
short to reach the stars. There's nothing to do with me.
That's everything. That's your belief and it doesn't have to

(52:26):
be mine. Right. The women that you consume on social media, ladies,
and in your everyday lives, they are allowed to have
their beliefs whatever the fuck they believe in. That is
the right. Those beliefs don't have to be yours. They
don't if they want to think that you're delusional because

(52:50):
you believe that a good man exists. Okay, okay, cool.
I'm gonna be over here with my belief and you
be able there with yours. Good luck to you, good
luck to me. Right, you don't have to adopt internalized
and then live by everybody else's belief What the fuck

(53:11):
do you believe exists for you? What do you want
for yourself? And then work from the inside. First. I
always believe that that that type of love exists for me,
so on and so forth. But I didn't harp on it.
I believed it. I put it over there, okay cool,
and then I focused on me me, me, me, me, me, me, me,

(53:34):
me me. It's all about me, me me, me me.
Forget about you. You get it, Okay, whether you want
to be in a relationship at some point in time
in life or you don't. I still wish every single
woman who's listening to this right now to experience a

(53:59):
healthy relation, relationship and a love with themselves, a truly
divine love, respect safety with themselves, because beautiful things come
out of that. But hey, what do I know. I'm
just a lady on the internet talking to y'all through

(54:21):
a microphone with Bentley, my Saint Bernard in his cage
beside me, trying to sleep. I'm rooting for y'all always,
all the time, all day or day. Okay, I still
don't know what I'm gonna call this episode. I don't know.
Maybe the magic within, I don't know. I'll figure out

(54:43):
something though. Anyways, there was no fucking random life news
because they just told you everything. I just okay, I
just caught you up on tea, so there's no random left.
Oh there is some random life news. Oh there is
those of y'all who my ladies, who are into tear
readings and stuff like that. Some of y'all asked me

(55:04):
for specific readings and all I lessened, so I have
opened up. There are now your month ahead readings are
available as an option that you can choose, and your
mercury retrograde readings are an option that you can choose.
So your month ahead readings are going to be my

(55:26):
ladies who let to know what the fuck prepare for
the month ahead? Like, Okay, what's going on in my December,
what's going on in my January? What's going on in
my February? You know what I mean? So I go
into your theme for the month. Two things to await,
two things to embrace. Obstacles or challenges you might encounter,
what you need to let go of, what you need
to focus on, what's coming in for you this month.

(55:46):
Actions you need to take to help you move forward,
How to care for yourself this month. Advice and encouragement
for your spirit team, and your affirmations are keywords for
the month. So that's your month ahead, and then your
mercury retrograde readings are open as well, because mercury retrogrades
can kick our asses, and it's nice to prepare to

(56:07):
know what to do during and our mercury Mercury retrogrades
affect us all in different ways depending what's going on
in our life. So this reading, I go into your current,
your current energy, How this mercury retrograde can affect you,
opportunities that can present themselves in the form of unpleasantries, delays,
or obstacles you could face, and how to move through them,

(56:29):
an aspect of your life that needs revisiting, an important
lesson that this retrograde wants you to grasp. What you
need to unplug from during this retrograde so you can
rest and reset yourself. How you can improve your communication
and advice and encouragement from your spirit team. The upcoming
mercury retrograde is going to be from it's going to
be in Sagittarius, and it's going to be from November

(56:50):
twenty fifth until December the fifteenth. So when you are
booking your mercury retrograde slots, I have some open that
are before the twenty fifth, I'm gonna try to so
that I can get them out for you guys. You know,
hopefully by the even though there's a five business day situation.
You know that, but hopefully when you choose your time,

(57:15):
I can get those out for you at least the
twenty fifth or the twenty sixth, you know, so that
and then obviously there's the general readings and then the
shadow work readings as well, the shadow readings as well.
But so, yeah, so that is that is available now.
I will leave the link in the description of this episode,

(57:37):
or you can go to Sisketches together dot com. Click
on the three little tabs on your right hand side,
then click on quick links and then book a reading
and I'll take you there. I'll take you there. And yeah,
that is my that's my random life news. Something that
I'm grateful for. I am grateful for the fucking water, man.

(57:58):
I'm grateful for the ocean. I'm I'm grateful for the elements, earth, air, waterfire.
I'm so grateful for nature and of itself. Like I
just I wish I could, like I could talk about
this shit all day, to be honest with y'all, but
I'm just really grateful. And I if more of us

(58:20):
really understood and worked with our elements more, I some
beautiful things could happen, man, But you know, just got
to be open to it. But I'm very grateful. I'm
really grateful for that trip. I'm very grateful for I'm
just very grateful for how the fuck my life is,

(58:41):
you know what I mean. I've been through a lot.
I also put myself through a lot of child but
I'm grateful for it all because it's led me to
exactly where I need to be. So yeah, and shout
out to the two young women that I bumped into
in Mexico who ps by the way, were like, I
don't want to alarm you, but I follow you. I've

(59:05):
been following you for years. And I was like, oh
my god, it's not Ccy. It is the sweetest fucking
thing ever. Really touched me, really really touched me. And
it also put me in like it literally made me
tear up when I was leaving them after I was
tearing up, but it really made me think of like, dang,
I'm in Mexico. I'm in fucking Mexico and two women

(59:32):
out of nowhere, you know, are women who have been
rocking with me and who let me know that I
helped them in some way, shape or form, And it
just I'm getting emotional again. Okay, I gotta go, but
it just you know, I'm really grateful that I have
the opportunity that I have a platform that can reach

(59:54):
women from all ages, ethnicities, background, whatever the case may be,
that can reach women and help them in some way,
shape or form. So I'm just I'm very, very grateful.
I'm gonna go now because I'm gonna start your cry,

(01:00:16):
you know the drill. Think of something that you are
grateful for, Write it down or say it out loud.
You have a friend that you appreciate and you care about,
send them a text, call them, let them know you
appreciate them. I'm sure it'll make their day. Ladies and
sometimes gentlemen. I appreciate y'all. I hope that you enjoyed
this episode. If nothing else was food for thought, finish
or plate and go be great. I hope that you

(01:00:37):
have a good rest of your mornings, evenings, afternoons, or
over the buck. Y'all around the world, Please be safe,
use condoms, trust your intuition, and use your discernment, and
I will catch y'all on the next episode. Gonna be great.