You're Gonna Date Anyway, So You Might as Well Learn How

Retiring the “Just Don’t Date Men” Advice (Because... Come On)
You can quit dating men if you want to, girl, but let’s not act like that’s the only option. The truth is, a lot of women were never taught how to date — we just picked it up through heartbreak, trial and error, and TikToks that contradict each other. But if you’re already out here, talking stages and all… it’s probably in your best interest to actually learn how to date — you know, with standards, with self-respect, and with your eyes wide open. 

This episode is for the women who are still dating (or want to), and are ready to actually learn how to do it better. As always: put your triggers to the side so you have room to open up your mind. Let's get into it. 

💋 To get on the email list for the Dating With Dignity class, click here: Class

Much love, y'all! Go be great.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
So my homegirl sent me this video the other day
and she was like, this sounds like the stuff that
you'd be saying all the time. And when I listened
to the video, I was like, oh my gosh, it
is so refreshing to hear another woman who is thinking
the same you know what I'm saying. It was just
really refreshing to hear. And I was really thinking about

(00:23):
it further, you know, especially with the work that I
do with women, my clients and stuff like that, and
I'm like, we need, we need, we need to have
a real honest conversation about this dating shit. So I'm
gonna play the video and then I'm gonna talk. Okay, ready, Okay, here.

Speaker 2 (00:40):
We go selling us and to leave them all alone
on their totality. That I'm starting to feel like giving
women the advice that men aren't capable of loving us
and to leave them all alone in their totality or
to only use them for their money is the equivalent
to how society approaches schmes with the youth by telling

(01:03):
them to be abstinent and not teaching them to safe smecks.
They're starting to parallel to me. And here's why I
say that we are never going to come to a
point in time where all women just stop eff and
with meen. So in nattality, we're never going to get
to that point, and we're never And the reality is

(01:24):
teaching women in mass to only look to men for
their money is dangerous because some men use money as
a control and abusive tactic. So I don't think that
that really gets to the root issue. Okay, I think
we should be teaching women safe schmecks when it comes
interacting with men in the sense that there are, Yes,

(01:49):
there are men out there who are safe and who
are healthy, and who are capable of loving us and
seeing us as human.

Speaker 1 (01:55):
Sure, but they're the minority.

Speaker 2 (01:57):
The majority of men in our society are socialized to
be emotionally void. Our socialize to see is as objects
and socialized to not have the capacity to be healthy
for us. So when you deal with males, move through them.

Speaker 1 (02:12):
Turn that page. Turn the page, turn the page.

Speaker 2 (02:15):
Stop stop stopping at every page and trying to see
the potential in it, trying to help make it more
Turn the page if if they want you want, turn
that page, and only stop to read a page that
shows you it's worth being read. I think that should
be the more appropriate advice we give, because women are

(02:36):
going to continue to interact with men, want to continue
to date them and marry them and have their kids.
So instead of trying to get them to stop all
together forever, why don't we talk about the reality, which
is there is a minority group and the majority, and
the majority of men you will encounter won't. We'll be
in that majority group, So move through, don't don't linger,

(03:00):
don't wait to see if he comes around. Moved through
and on to the next you know, I just I
don't think that telling the girls to leave men alone
forever and hopefully you could come across a good guy
is the most sound advice, because the reality is, if
you have began to believe that all men are capable

(03:21):
of love, all men aren't healthy, and all men of trash,
what's gonna happen when you come across the guy who isn't.
You're gonna be so fixated on figuring out if he's
not that you want even get to see that he is.
And I just don't, Ah, I don't know. I feel
like this advice is not realistic and I'm starting to

(03:42):
question the validity of it.

Speaker 1 (03:45):
Yeah, I'm starting to Okay, So this creator's name is
Cindy Noir. On TikTok, Cindy Noir become the color on TikTok,
and I again super refreshing to hear another woman say
this shit because sometimes I sometimes sometimes, you know, i'd

(04:07):
be feeling like I'm really all alone in this motherfucker
because I'm like, hello, is anybody else listening? I'd be like,
is this thing lot? So? Yeah, So shout out to
her first and foremost. Okay, I have a couple of
points that I want to talk about. Let me make
sure this one is on do not disturb before you guys. Okay, cool.

(04:28):
So I've always always I look at the content that
goes around social media, the content that gets viral content,
you know, and it's always the extreme and that gets
viral virality, right, And I get it. Women are upset,

(04:52):
women are this, and also women love to see a
man get dragged, And unfortunately it happens in the middle
sectors too. We're not talking about that right now. But
people often only know how to operate in extremes, and
that is mostly because no one ever taught them and

(05:12):
or they are not doing the work for themselves to
reparent themselves, so to teach themselves right through the guide
of somebody else. If that's the case, where the therapist,
the coach of mentor whatever the case may be right
to come into the middle. So we always end up
seeing these two extremes because that is where people are living.

(05:33):
And the extremes when it comes to dating are always
you don't date a man at all, or like, fuck
these men, all these men are trash or girl to
date them for their money, and I'm like, this is
not There's so many reasons why this is not sustainable

(05:55):
and unrealistic, one of them being most of these dudes
don't have any money, so so what are we doing right?
That's number one. But number two in the money aspect
is it's very like like like Cindy said, it's very
dangerous to teach women to just state men for money

(06:16):
because the majority of the women are not equipped with
the understanding of what men with money actually come with.
I'm not talking about they're making one hundred thousand dollars
a year. That's not money, okay, in the in the
in the big fish, you know, big playground, that's not money.
I'm talking about the women who are telling y'all to

(06:37):
go get like big, big money bag, money bag Mike.
You know money bag, Marvin. You know these men, and
you can I can always tell which women have never
been around men who actually have money, because the majority
of these men, they don't just be giving out money,
you see, they didn't. Okay, there are things that you

(07:00):
have to do to you have to there are things
you have to do, and there is a level of
integrity that you have to abandon, okay, in order to
access even a smidge of that money. It comes with stipulations,
a long list of stipulations. Okay. So it is not

(07:24):
what these women on these tiktoks make it seem that
it is. And it pisses me off how many women
who are platformed, who are leading so many fuck man,
so many women into terribly dangerous situations. It drives me nuts, right,

(07:48):
So I do my best here on my local conna
at interweb to try to be a voice of reason
for those of you know, for the women who do
listen to me. However, the issue comes with me anyways,
is because I'm not telling women what they want to hear.
So a lot of women will tune in and tune

(08:10):
rate the fuck oh the minute that I'm like, yo,
this shit starts and ends with you. Oh no, I
don't want to hear no shit that. You're not gonna
tell me. You're not gonna trigger me, You're not gonna
tell me this, You're not gonna tell me that. Right.
A lot of women will tune in and then tune
out the minute that they hear something that is not
in alignment with what they want to hear. But the
reality of this situation is what you want to hear

(08:33):
is the equivalent to an Instagram highlight reel. There is
no context and there are no real warnings. Right. It's
like people who get on TikTok and show women how
to do these fucking love spells. Every time I'm like, yo,

(08:54):
stop doing this showing women how to do how to
make a man obsessed with you, Like, what the fuck
are you doing? Number one? They'll show you this spell,
and you know, some of them are actually the real,
the real deal. Holy feel right. They'll walk you through
the spell and then be like, Okay, Tata, have a
good day. Bye. They don't. They never explain the dangers

(09:17):
of the spell. They never explain that you can die
this man can become so obsessed with you that he
fucks around and kills you. They don't explain the reality
of shifting or intercepting somebody else's free will and how
that can fuck with their brain and how they can
take it out on you. They don't tell you how

(09:40):
to how to if to reverse this shit if you
start realizing, hey, whoa whoo, whoa whoa wo. Right, they
don't teach you how to cleanse, they don't teach you
how to protect yourself. They don't teach you shit all else.
They literally throw you into harm's way. And because so
many women are so desperate and I'm using the word
because not have to hear it, but god, it's the reality.

(10:02):
That's nothing too women tune in they heard they were desperate.
They're like, oh, you're being so mean. No, you're desperate.
That is the correct term. When you're doing fucking shit
like obsession spells. Make this not obsessed with me, It
is because you're desperate. Whether you want to hear that
shit or not, that's the reality of the situation. Bibbs,

(10:22):
tune in, man, right, you're so desperate that you're gonna
do it anyways and nine out of ten times you
are desperate for a man who don't got a pot
to pisson or a window to throw it up, the
bottom of the bottom, the shrimp of the ocean, bro
bottom of the bottom, man that you want to sink
your teeth in, and you want him to be yours

(10:42):
forever for what It's always the men who have two
black toenails and a bag of baby mama's behind them
and sixteen picknies and no job or in between jobs
or whatever the kiss name be, who can't a man
who can't even love himself, a man who don't even
respect himself. An that's the man you're so desperate for.

(11:06):
The reality is that man is your mirror. But I
know I hear it. But it's the reality. Because if
you had an ounce of some self worth, some some
some integrity of your own, some dignity of your own,

(11:28):
these type of men would not be the type of
men that you you want, you would even want to
touch you with, just you would keep a wet one
in case one of them try to touch you, ew
and wipe yourself off hand, sanitize it like a motherfucker it. No no, no, no, no,
no no, you're too close. Hey, hey, back up, bitch,
all right, I my platform is yes. For many, many

(11:53):
years we talk about, you know, uh, toxic relationships, toxic dating.
But I'm very I integrate the accountability part so heavy,
because accountability is needed in order to move through life
in a way that is aligned with the things that

(12:16):
you want for yourself, That is aligned with peace, that
is aligned with happiness, that is aligned with being able
to to remove yourself from situations that you realize, hey, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,
what the hell's going on over here? Right? You need
accountability because accountability is what's going to allow you to

(12:37):
realize that you need to heal your shit, that you're
running around choosing men through the lens of your own
fucking wounds. That is it, That is all. And so
many women want to tussle, want to fight, like you're
shaming women. Shut the fuck up? Okay, like shut up

(12:58):
at some point, man, with the whole business. Anytime somebody
is like, hey, bibs, we'll not have to take some
accountability for you. Oh you're shaming. You're shaming. How is
somebody giving you tools to put yourself in a better
position in life? Shaming you are, like, how do I
hell like it? How does stoppah? Stop stop stop the noise, man,

(13:21):
stop stop it, stop it it's it's stop it. These
men that you desperately want to hold on to and
want them to hold on to you are literally just
your mirrors, mirrors of the wounds that you have within
yourself that you won't that you won't deal with right,
that you're avoiding for yourself because you're trying to chase

(13:43):
something in someone else that doesn't even exist in them,
much like as a child, you're probably chasing it from
fill in the blank, your mama, your papa, your whatever
the case may be, right who didn't have it to give.
And so now you go through your adult woman life

(14:03):
right continuously subconsciously chasing those very same things that wounded
you as a result of not getting them right wounded you,
and now you're chasing them in men, in the same
men that represent what it is that whoever parents didn't

(14:24):
have to give, and you continue to hope that if
you could just get them, if you could just crack
them open right and get them to love you back,
then there's a part of you that's going to heal
or that's going to be healing, because damn, if I
couldn't get my daddy to love me, well, at least
now making this man or figuring out how to get

(14:44):
this man to love me will prove that I'm lovable.
Prove if my mama didn't love me, then making this
man XYZ will prove that I'm lovable. Y'all don't realize it.
So many women don't realize it because you don't want
to sit down. You don't want to rest your front
long enough to unpack it and really sit with it

(15:08):
and allow yourself to feel the gosh darn feelings that
are coming up and move through them one at a time,
one at a time, because what's also running around in
the background of your brain, or in the front of
your brain, or on the side of your brain or
whatever simultaneously We'll just say, right, is this. I gotta

(15:31):
get a man, get married. I gotta get a man,
get married. I gotta get a man, get married. I
have kids, I got to get a man. I gotta
get a man. I got to get a man. I
gotta get a man. I'm getting older. I gotta get
a man. I don't want to be washed up and
not even man. I don't want to be thirty five
without a man. I don't want to be forty without
a manu. I don't want be forty five without a man. Like,
So it ends up all blending together in this nasty

(15:54):
infected wound. Right that you're just like, oh, whatever, you're
good Okay, what time is that? I'm thirty seven? Who
are you? You're the okay, whatever, you're good enough. I
guess we'll figure it out. At least, do I get
to post you on answer? Can I take you to
Christmas dinner? At least I have Can you sleep over? Okay?
At least I have someone to call a man? I
guess my man? Okay, cool? Fine, That's what happens. It

(16:20):
is very dangerous, very very dangerous. The reality of the
situation is most women do not know how to date.
Most women come from homes either broken homes either. Even

(16:43):
if your parents are together for X amount of years,
whatever the case they be, still there's nobody that to
teach you how to date because they were together since
they were high school. Sweet. So your mom's like, I
don't know, you know, just all you gotta do, sweet,
she's giving you advice from fucking nineteen sixty nine, and
you're like, what the fuck is this? Like, I can't
That's not how things work anymore, mom, Like, we don't
have county fairs like that anymore, and the regular and
boys don't come fucking knock on the door and pick

(17:07):
us up and then we walk hand and hat into
the fair and you know this isn't fucking you know
what's that movie The Notebook?

Speaker 2 (17:18):
Right?

Speaker 1 (17:19):
This is not this is not that, mom, And she's like, well,
I did'd up sweeting back in my day. And you're like, oh, forget.

Speaker 2 (17:24):
Just.

Speaker 1 (17:26):
Close your mouth, right, don't say that to your mom though.
That's rude anyways, right. Or you have a mom who
is her herself is so wounded that all you've seen
throughout your life is beer men in and out your
beer men. You know, this is Uncle Tommy, this is
Uncle Brian, this is uncle this person every man that

(17:47):
came into the uncle uncle, uncle, uncle. And so you've
got old enough to realize, bro, this is not my
fuck uncle. You're banging this this dude like okay, whatever, right,
And so whatever the kids may be, or toxic relationships
back to back or one after another, or your auntie's
and you you know, so what I'm saying, your aunties
are doing the same thing or blah blah blah. Right,
And so you got out there when you were of

(18:08):
age and you just did whatever the fuck the foundation
was in front of you to do, or you tried
to do the opposite, but because you didn't have the tools,
it didn't really pan out. And then enter your homegirls
in the mix in a fucking group chat, who don't
know what the fuck they're doing either, And you guys
are all telling each other bullshit while not just telling

(18:29):
each other bullshit, but then also never holding each other
accountable because nobody has it in them to have right,
God forbid one of your home And if you do
have a homegirl who's like, yo, well no, you have
to check yourselves this, like that's not right what you
just did? Oh so what you're not a girl's girl?
Whose side are you on? You're not a girl's girl.
And it's like, grow up, man, grow up, grow up,

(18:51):
grow up. And the only way to do that, really
and truly is for you to stop running from yourself.
Stop running from yourself. You guys cannot be out here
dating when your self worth is at ground zero. You
know there's a reason why. On the cover of growy

(19:14):
This Before Your Next Date, it literally says, is it
is that the name of my book? I'm sorry, giry
this before your Next Date? Yeah, it literally says, because
the bar isn't in hell, it's in your hands. And
I've said this before and I'll say it again. If
you're og, you've heard me say a million tens, but
we gonna give a little refresher. I hear women run

(19:35):
around talk about all the time, the bars and hell,
the bars and hew, the bar's in hell, but the
but it's your bar. It's your bar, like right, So
if you're the bar is in hell, well, it's because
you're standing there with it. It's yours. Women set the standard,

(19:57):
step the tone, set the pace, understand. Do you hear
Bentley snoring in the background. I'm so sorry, but there's
nothing I could do. He's in a very deep sleep
and he's earned it. So we're just gonna have to
let it rock out. Give thanks. Right. We set the tone,
we set the standard, we set the pace, and we
only can understand that through healing our shit. Because if

(20:18):
you're out here dating and your bar is in hell,
obviously you will encounter men who are in hell like
because that's where you are energetically, right, emotionally, spiritually, energetically
you you lack of self worth, have no self respect,
have no dignity, have no tools, have no whatever. You're

(20:40):
in hell. Look hello, hell right. It's the same thing
as the analogy I use all the time about you know,
when people are like, oh, there's pissing the dating pool.
You are part of the dating pool. Women are in
the duel in the pool pissing just as much as
men are. Right. The only difference is that men's down
in the corner and they put their dicks out and
they piss for everybody to see. They hold their dicks out,
and they're just in the pool, And y'all are in

(21:01):
the pool, like I gotta says, you have instead discuste
while you're in the pool squatting and pissing, same way
the nerve pot cattle. Hello, right, But instead of just oh,
the dating pools pissed, the dating pools pissed, why are
you still in the pissy pool and on top of it,
pissing on top of it inside of the pool, just
contributing to the piss come out of the pool, come out,

(21:24):
come out, go and bid oh my god, please go
bathe well, pathe, and then go for a walk, go
for on a journey to find some clear springs is
what you're looking for. You're looking for. Where you want
to be is where the clear springs are. You don't
want to be in a pool full of chlorine and
piss and piss and pissa, chlorine and piss and chemicals.

(21:47):
You want to find clear springs. The issue is the
journey to clear springs is unknown. And sometimes that journey,
depending on the woman and what you have going inside
of you, how many layers of shit that you need
to start working through, that journey can be a long one.

(22:08):
And this is where women start to freak out. Oh no, no, no,
it's gonnay how long it's it gonna take. It's gonna
take too long. Oh I need a man right now
that my top clock is ticking, my whatever the case
may be. And like, there are women like me who
are like hey, and others who are like why, you're

(22:31):
gonna set back your life anyways, You're gonna make life
worse for yourself by settling for a man who's not
good anyways. It's only going to be more of a
problem for you. It's only going to hurt you further
and mentally, emotionally, spiritually, financially, You're only gonna take bigger
and bigger hits. So why not learn how to again

(22:55):
unpack your shit, work through your shit right, work through
your shit, and start to reframe your mentality like if
it's gonna be in extremes, it's either no man at
all or a good man the end, like the end.
If we're gonna operate in extremes, then then that's what

(23:16):
we're gonna Then that's that's the extreme, and that the
middle ground is you continuing to do what you need
to do for yourself and for your life, because your
life matters now whether even if there's not a man
in it. A man is not the center of your
fucking universe. Please, oh my god, wake up. You matter

(23:37):
right now. You cannot be out here existing just just
in hopes that one day a man chooses you. Do
you do? You not?

Speaker 2 (23:50):
Right?

Speaker 1 (23:50):
And women who have who have been where you are
and have made it through the other side are trying
to tell you in freaking a million different ways and
different fonts, different pen colors, different fonts, different tones, right,
but we're all trying to say the same thing. All

(24:10):
of us are trying to say the same thing. Hey,
my love, you need to do some inner work. You
can't be out here just dating oh will and newly.
But it's like you eat so many women, like they're
not listening, and because you're not listening, it's costing you
so much. You're racking up more grief, You're racking up
more trauma, You're racking up more anger, man, more like

(24:33):
deep leveled anger. All unlike your can emotional credit card.
And the interest is not a joke on that motherfucker.
Do you think interest rates are had the interest rates
on your emotional credit card? I'm not a joke, Like
I said. Women who have been where you are and
made it to the other side are literally handed. Are

(24:54):
trying to give you the same truth every day, different fonts,
different voices, same message. Hey girl, you can't keep running
from your so you got to do the INNERWORKO. Hey mama,
the reason you keep ending up in painful relationships is
because you're making choices through your wounds, not your worth.
You got to do the inner work, love, Hey, sweet pea,
Hey beloved. The emotional burnout that you're experiencing, that you're

(25:15):
in a child running the show. You got to do
the inner work, babes, but you're still not hearing it.
It's like so many women think that if they just
find the right man or hit like the right milestone,
everything will fall into place, like your wounds will magically
dissolve and your past won't follow you into the next

(25:36):
chapter of your life. But that's not how that works.
And let me so just like you know the late
what's your name in the video of Cindy, like she
had said in her video. Right, even if you do
find a good man, let's just say, right, the kind
that you prayed for every day, asked God, heavenly fa Da,
please send me a man, a husband who whatever the
kiss may be right, or you ask spirit, or you

(25:57):
ask whoever the universal child, whichever higher power that you
believe it. Okay, even if he comes to you right,
your own unhealed wounds will still show up and bleed
all over the place, and that relationship will one hundred

(26:17):
percent start to buckle under the weight of everything that
you refused to deal with. And good men, by all means,
while they are are are, they're spread out. They're not
the you know, they're not the majority. They're spread out, right,
But good men are also human. They can love you,

(26:41):
they can support you, but they can't heal you. Men
cannot heal you. Even the best of a man cannot
heal you. More than that he shouldn't have to. It
is no different than when women are like, women are
not rehabilitation centers for men. Okay, well, the good men
of the world they not that for us either, is

(27:03):
what I'm saying. You have to be able to to
sit with your own emotions without needing to escape them.
You have to be able to hold yourself with compassion
instead of just criticism and just nitpicking and just you know,
beating yourself up in just whatever the case saying. But

(27:24):
you have to be able to hold yourself with a
level of compassion that is that is rooted in honesty, right,
And I think a lot of times women are like,
think of compassion as this very very one dimensional thing
where it's just ego stroking. That's not compassion. I'm just
you know, I didn't think I was gonna get some
passionate to say that's not compassion. Ego stroking is not compassion.

(27:48):
You can have compassion for yourself and still be honest
with yourself. And here's what it looks like. Oh we
fucking up, right now? Yeah girl, we fucking up. That's
because nobody taught us how to not fuck up. Facts, fair,
that's true, true, right, Look at the ship that look
at the environments we come, look at the role models
that we had, right you right, yeah, yeah, it doesn't

(28:10):
negate the fact that we're sucking up. However, we didn't.
We didn't really have a good you know, a good
blueprint to follow. But now that we know this, maybe
we should put ourselves in the position to learn how
to do better for ourselves. Yeah, girl, you're right, let's
do that. That's that's speaking to yourself with compassion and
rooted in honesty. Right. It's not you acting like it

(28:34):
doesn't exist. It's not you just blaming everything on your past. Right,
it's you recognizing that, Okay, you didn't have the tools.
That's fucked up. And now that we're we're aware of this,
it's time to put ourselves in the position to gather
some Yeah, okay, let's do that. And it's what I'm saying,

(29:00):
even if you found a good man tomorrow that relationship
will implode on itself faster than you can say implode, right,
And because you don't have a foundation of your your
own inner work, so on and so forth right, you
will take that and I'll see all these men are
at trash and dah da da, and why can't you

(29:21):
love me enough to fix me, heal me to whatever?
Blah blah blah blah blah and and and nothing ever
gets nothing right. You probably wouldn't even be able to
recognize that you did have a good man when you
had him, because the ending ended, right, it ended with
him preserving himself and being like, yo, there's only so
much of this that I can take, Like I can't.
I can't. I can love you, but I can't. I

(29:42):
can't fix you. Bro. That's that's and that's not a
fair responsibility to put on somebody in the beginning to
begin with. But you're not gonna hear that. All you're
going to hear is that once you know, quote unquote,
once again a man has let you down. And it's like, no, baby,
you let yourself down in this scenario, right, So how

(30:07):
do we stop letting ourselves down? Essentially? Right, it's it's
you again. It's you learning how to do the work,

(30:28):
like stop chasing these dudes and if you're going to
be dating, because because like you know, and I've said
this before too, Legs and he said, like, you can't
just tell women, hey, did you know, fuck all these men.
That's why I hate I hate to see it too.
Like sometimes a woman was seeing something about how you know,

(30:49):
she's ready for love or whatever the case a be,
and here comes another one. Fuck all these men. These
men are trash. Don't be you don't want a man.
There's no good man out there. All they're all trash.
And it's like that's not eh, Michael. Right, women are
out here dating, y'all listening to me, you're gonna date.
There might be like seven of y'all who are like, Nope,
not me. I'm not dating a motherfucker for the next
twenty years. Great, love that for you, but the majority

(31:11):
of women, I know, seriously, I love that for you.
But the majority of women listening to this episode and
listen to my podcast period right whether they are taking
a break from dating, which I highly recommend taking a
break from dating, or they're currently dating right now, they're
still going to date. So telling women again, like this
young lady said that the answer is to never look

(31:34):
at a man, and when a man comes up to
you scream, you're like no, now you Nope, that's not helpful.
Women are gonna be out here, fucking women are gonna
be out here dating. Women are gonna be out here
longing for a man. It just is what the fuck
it is. So rather than teaching them things that can

(31:55):
actually get them very hurt and put them in dangerous situations,
it's important to teach women. To give women the rules,
the tools, to teach them how to date from a
place of self respect, to teach them what to and
not just not just basic red flag GRIEFAG red flag

(32:15):
GRIEFAG red like grieflag. Okay, not just basic shit like that,
because even that has gotten so ah, even that has
gone so much has gotten so as a woman, this
is what you need to understand. Okay, And again, what
I'm about to say is something that you will understand

(32:36):
more and more through your healing. However, as a woman,
you need to understand that you are an individual, and
an individual who who likes and dislikes certain things, who

(32:57):
some things are dangerous for her, some things that would
be danger for another woman, are not dangerous for her,
and vice versa. Right, some things that you're generally okay
with are not genuinely okay with other women, right Like this,
this is only understood as you understand your own uniqueness
as an individual, but a lot of women don't because

(33:21):
you haven't tapped into your own uniqueness because you are following,
You just follow fashion, You're following what the fuck everybody
else is telling you. And all these black and white
statements that have no fucking context on Instagram or on TikTok,
that have no deeper contexts, that are very surface level.
And I'm seeing a lot of women become these carbon

(33:43):
copy paste of like other women, right, no individuality, no uniqueness.
This is why I always tell y'all to get a
fucking life, man, and not to be rude, but in
the most literal way, to get a life of your own, right,
because what is happening right now is a lot of
women can't even think for themselves. And I hate to

(34:05):
say that, but I, hey, I am in the thicket.
I am I am in it with women right, There's
no there's no thought for self because you're disconnected from self,
because you're not doing anything on your free time, when
you're not working right on your free time, that reconnects

(34:26):
you to self. Instead, you are continuously plugging in to
everybody else's dues and don't list. And sure, some of
them are helpful. I'm not going to say that all
this stuff is other. That's ridiculous, so like, come on,
some of them are helpful, But because they are mixed
in with other things that are not, and because you

(34:52):
are so disconnected from yourself, your discernment meter is broken.
It's out of adda, right, it's out of adah. And
I just think it's really important. So I don't think
I know. Fuck, I don't think I know. It is
so important for women to wake up and realize for real,

(35:17):
for real, that everything starts and ends with self. You
see when the young woman Cindy was in the video
talking about, you know, if you're gonna be out here
dating men, learn how to fucking move through them, move
through them, move through them. Look, okay, you're not it,
next next, next, right. It sounds very easy because I'm like, yeah, facts, right,

(35:37):
But when you are not equipped again with a foundation
of self worth, when you're not moving through anything, because
every man for a woman who has no self worth,
every man is a new opportunity to try to get
him to validate you, to try to seek out validation. Right,

(36:00):
every man is okay, maybe he maybe this guy, maybe
this guy, maybe this guy. Right, Being the person who
does the rejecting for a woman who has no self
worth is not a thing, Right, It's not a thing.
For the most part. Oh, I can't reject them. I
can't block him. What if he think, says to me,
what if he thinks that me, I don't wanted to
think this, and me, I don't want EDM to think
that I don't wanted to think this. I don't know

(36:20):
who gives a fuck what he thinks. You just met
this motherfucker who cares. You don't even know his middlem name,
You don't even know, you don't even know. All you
know is that he's a fucking libra, And if you
know anything about libras, he's probably gonna wait until two
thousand and thirty two to make a decision about you. Anyways.
So it's like, you know, damn so what I'm saying.

(36:46):
But when you have a lick of self worth for yourself,
you're able to be like yeah, and this is gonna
be a no and block him because who cares? He's
a fuck what he thinks about you? Does he pay
in your house? Does he help you when times are tough?
Is he there for you when you are mentally overloaded,

(37:06):
when you were overstimulated, when you just need a hug,
when you need some help around the house, when you
are excited about something that you're gonna creative endeavor, when
you have big wins in life, when you have low
loads in life. No, he's not because he doesn't know you,
because he just got there and you don't know him.

(37:26):
So who gives a fuck what he has to think
about you? But you can't stand on that when you're
self worth, your bar is in hell on the ground.
I couldn't stand on that when my bar was on
the ground. When I used to back in nineteen seventy nine,

(37:48):
when I used to date, there was a there was
a time period in my life when I used to
date that the same things I'm saying to y'all is
the same things that I felt for myself too. Oh
here's a man, he's looking at me, he wants me. Okay,
I gotta be a Loui's gonna think about me. Okay,
what's it all? I can't a believe I know he's
not good for me, But at the same time, like,
I don't know what type. I don't wanted to think that.
I mean, I don't need to think this, I don't
need to think that. Blah blah blah blah blah blah

(38:09):
blah blah. And I got myself into some of the
worst fucking situations all because I didn't trust myself enough
or I didn't have enough worth within myself. I was
so riddled with my own insecurities right to be like,
get the fuck out of here, no bitch, move, get

(38:31):
out the way, Okay, well, less bitch like, right, I
couldn't do that. I couldn't do that because being chosen
by anybody at a certain point in my life was
better than being chosen by no one. And it would
take me years, through deep shadow work, through the inner work,

(38:53):
through all of these these fucking rites of passages. I
guess I for it right to be able to get
to a place in life where I'd be dating and
I would go on a day with somebody and I'd
be like, and you're never gonna see me again. Maggie.
In my mind, you don't even know it, but you
are never going to see me again. Motherfucker. Leave that

(39:17):
date and be like, hey, at the end of it,
from a safe distance, be like, You're never gonna see
me again. So are we gonna do this? Hey, this
is fun. We should do this with him? Well, this
was fun, we should do this again. Me, this was
not fun for me, And I don't want to do
this again. And I think you should have a good
rest of your life. Take care, Tata, and then not

(39:40):
even give them a chance to respond because I've already
made up my mind, so block Heck, that's it. That's
the end. I don't need you to respond to say
anything you're not I'm not going to give you an
opportunity to try to change my mind or anything, because
I've already made up my mind. I've already realized that
in your presence, your mannerisms, your energy, how I feel

(40:04):
in your presence is not good. Is no bueno? So
what the fuck are you? What am I? What? Am
I letting you have the last word for you have
nothing to say to me? I like, and I'm not
gonna give you the opportunity. I'm going to say what
I have to say. So I'm not just like ghosting
you would you know back then ghosting wasn't a word though,
But you know what I'm saying, right, I'm not just
like leaving you high and dry. I'm telling you, yo,

(40:26):
this is that I know. I did not enjoy myself. No,
I don't want to do this again. It was not
nice to meet you. Take care, take care. You're never
gonna see me again, by deuces, right, at least he
knows and that's it. Do whatever you want with that information.
After that, I don't care. So I'm my motherfucking business.
My business is how I felt in your presence, how

(40:49):
my energy felt, how my body felt, what my intuition
was saying. That's my business. I don't give a fuck
about you, like I don't know you enough other than
to give you some common you know, common respect, common
courtesy while we're out together or whatever the case may be, right,
common you know, human to human. But other than that,

(41:11):
fucking oh you a motherfucking thing like that's that's not
on me, that's on you. But again, pre what was
that the dryer bitch? Okay? Before sorry, before I missed
my jorard that used to sing, Oh anyways, whoa, whoa, whoa,

(41:33):
I'm digressing. Hey, hey, okay, before I did any amount
of inner work, that that conversation would not happen. Right,
And these are like the basic little things. I say basic,
but like they're actually big things. But they become basic
baseline things once you once you have that that that

(41:55):
what am I looking for? That foundation of self respect? Right?
But before it, these are not basic little things. These
are big things. These are big things. Right. To be
able to say, you know, to be able to knock
through the person, an opportunity to change your mind, it's
a big thing. So many times I have clients so

(42:16):
I'm like, O, hey, block him. I know I should
block him, but like, but but what but what? Huh?
You just sat here, you told me that you didn't
like him, you had an awful time with the man,
you're he annoys you a little bit, and yet you're like, oh,
you send him a message saying, you know, whatever the case,

(42:38):
maybe he hasn't responded yet, and you don't want to
block him for for what what are we doing right now?
I know, I just feel like I just feel bad
about feel bad about what? Why are we feeling bad
about a man? Why are we putting? Again? Why are
we putting a man in the center of our lives?
And at top of it is a man that you
don't even know, a man that you don't even know,

(43:01):
a man who who did not make you show you
any type of you know, you didn't feel safe, You
didn't feel comfortable. You didn't feel When I say safe,
I don't mean like you know they were in danger,
but I mean like safe, like to be themselves or
to whatever the case, right, right? You felt weird like
he was weird. He was weird, and not in a
weird like fun weird. He was weird in the real way.

(43:23):
You know, what are we being? What do we what
do we use? Wasting our empathy for on men who
don't deserve it? Right? And then more than that, once
again putting yourself on how you feel on a back
burner too, to levy how a man that you don't
know feels, to pedestalize a man that should do. Do

(43:50):
we not see how this is continuous in this In
the smallest of interactions, I see so many women put
putting in at first, the small the beginning, the smallest interactions, right,
So it's like stop, but you cannot stop because you

(44:14):
continue to skip over the most important person in this
whole message, and it's you. It is you. You need
to be the center of your universe. I don't give
a fuck what anybody has to say about that. I
don't care if anybody's that's selfish. That's that's the point.
Think I've said this before, and I'll say this again
in the event that you never heard me say this

(44:35):
in a previous episode, and maybe it's the first time here,
which what a crazy episode for you to be here first.
But I digress, right, there are two Selfish has a duality, right,
The word selfish has a duality, and people seem to
associate selfishness with very negative traits and with something that

(44:59):
is negative. And that is one end of the spectrotrum.
When your selfishness is literally impeding on someone else's life,
it's literally hurting somebody who is directly connected to you,
right connected to you, or who is also supposed to
be benefiting from something that is you know. So, for example,
let's say I don't know you're walking past I don't know,

(45:25):
fucking you're walking past a fucking a store. It's Christmas time.
You know what. Here we walk it's Christmas time and
there's a little table outside the store and there's like
little gifts and they're wrapped up and you don't know
what's in it, right, and there's a sign that's like,
you know, take take one for yourself, right free. And

(45:46):
then you're with your kid and you let your kid
take four. Okay, well there's other kids, bro, Like, it's
not the it didn't say take four, it said you know,
take one, you know what I mean. And you are like, yeah,
you know, you made your kid take four. That's like
there's other kids who are gonna come around. That's fucking selfish.
Like then you're teaching your kid to be fucking selfish. No,

(46:08):
take one and go go along? And is that what
I'm saying? Right? So so yeah, so in those moments, okay, yeah,
selfish right, when you're in a relationship and the whole
point of relationship is to you know, you must you
must consider each other and all you do is consider yourself. Yes,

(46:29):
now we're being selfish in that in that in that realm,
in a negative way. But when it is you yourself
and you in your life and you are putting yourself first,
and you are making yourself the center of your universe,
which is your life. That's your universe, is your life, right,
this is the moment for you to be selfish. This

(46:50):
is where selfish is a good thing. This is where
you're supposed to be putting yourself first, because anybody who
is outside of your universe you do. I don't know
well enough to accommodate or compromise or consider. Like right,
It's like, I have met women who refuse to go

(47:11):
on vacations to I can't, but I've met women who
refuse to go on vacations because they want to save
that for their future husband. They're not even dating. Do
you understand? I'm like, you're forty two years old and
you've never been on a vacation because you're waiting to
experience it with your husband.

Speaker 2 (47:30):
Are you?

Speaker 1 (47:32):
Oh?

Speaker 2 (47:33):
I like?

Speaker 1 (47:34):
Girl? You know? You are? You are? You are missing
out on life for a fictional somebody who doesn't exist yet,
or who might not exist at all. You're missing out
on your whole life to center a man who doesn't
exist yet or who might not exist at all. Do

(47:55):
we like? The lights are on? Is anybody home? Knocknna?
Who's there, Hello? It is that I'm saying. I'm not
trying to be a ticket. I'm just like, I'm just saying,
you know, but again, this is coming from a place
of you're not being taught these things, and or you're
picking up shit from even even you know. Sometimes I've

(48:18):
seen these tiktoks and it's like, boy, it's like, you
know girls who are twenty something, twenty two years old,
twenty three years old, and they're like ten things, and
never let a man do number one, number one, Never
let a man da da da da number two. Always
don't date a man who earns less than three hundred
thousand dollars a bitch. I oh god. And then I

(48:41):
see like, you know, forty something year olds in the
comments and carry I'm just like, I'm not saying that
twenty two year olds twenty three year olds can't give
a advice. But how much you know, how much life
have you lived? Yet? You know that's their thing too.
I think that a lot of women get caught up
and don't realize that TikTok is about these social media

(49:03):
are about numbers. Numbers. It's a number game. People on TikTok,
especially in the US. Not in Canada. We don't get
paid for this shit because I don't even know it. Okay, anyways,
it does is a matter I'm getting on track. But
people in the US make money from their tiktoks. The
more views they have, the more says, the more shares

(49:24):
and more comments, the more money they make. Do you understand.
So a lot of the this, a lot of create
content creators right start to get hip and are like, yo,
they're going to do They're going to gravitate towards what
gets them the most views. At some point, for a
lot of these these content creators, their own morality goes

(49:47):
out the fucking window because they're like, Okay, you guys
want to hear da da dada. Okay, I'm gonna say this. Okay,
I'm gonna say that if they start to up the
annie or you know what, can I say that is
so tr triggering, that's going to piss off so many women.
That'll boost my engagement and I'll make money off this video.

(50:08):
I'm trying. I'm trying to tell y'all, i'd be trying
to tell you I'm be at be I be trying
to tell y'all this is the reality of the situation, right, So,
and then there's this the mindless scrolling thing where you
are taking in all of these opinions and thoughts and
boohoo stories that have no context to them, and you

(50:33):
are letting them purchase real estate in your nervous system,
in your conscious, in your subconscious. So now you're trying
to go about your life and you have all this
shit inside of you that is not yours and that

(50:55):
shouldn't be there, right, But because you're scrolling mindlessly, you're
not taking the time to even check in with yourself
and be like, no, that's bullshit. Let me find more
context in this, let me write No, You're just you're

(51:17):
just consuming and consuming and consuming, and it's dangerous. It's
really dangerous, right, even sometimes, like I've I've heard women
say to me, you know, I remember one time I
was gonna live and I can't remember exactly what the
girl said that I said. She was like, yeah, D
D because you said X Y Z, And I was like,

(51:39):
I did not say that. You never heard me say that.
I don't know who you were, but you never heard
me say that. Yeah, this one time on your U
on a on A on one of your posts, you
said x y Z. I said no, I said, I can't.
I can't remember what it was, but I had explent

(52:00):
he I'm like, no, that was an excerpt from an
entire book. The premise of it was not just x
y Z. It was an excerpt, very clear excerpt, it said,
excerpt from x y z book. Right, and it's for
you to go read the book. But this is the issue, right,

(52:20):
We had to correct you real quick. Now, No, no,
we're not gonna do that, right. But this is the issue,
is that we take these bite sized pieces and we
don't go further to investigate for ourselves. Right, we don't
go further to investigate for ourselves. You take a page
or a snippet from a book that's posted and you know,
oh this, and it's like, no, there's more to this story.

(52:42):
You can't. I can't fit the whole of the fucking
book on one Instagram pot.

Speaker 2 (52:47):
Right.

Speaker 1 (52:48):
The same thing with with with with these conversations. We
can't fit this right now, we're fifty two minutes in, right,
and fifty two minutes in. It's not just because because
i'd like to hear the sound of my own motherfucking voice. No,
my mouth is dry right now, I need some fucking water.

Speaker 2 (53:04):
Right.

Speaker 1 (53:04):
This is a long time to be talking, carrying a
fucking episode all by myself. Okay, it's long, But context matters.
Details matter. There are things that matter, right. There are
certain things that if I'm talking about, I can't just
gloss over it, say it and then move on. No,

(53:25):
because I understand that women are gonna take that and run.
And that's what so many women are doing. You're taking
one piece and running. You're dating a guy, You're taking
one piece and running with him. But he said, he
said that I'm different? Did he really? Did he really?
He also said he was emotionally unavailable and that his

(53:46):
last girlfriend he cheated on three times. But you're different.
That's the part that you took really right, That's what's
happening in dating. He said that he's ever met anybody
who's made him feel this way, even that sentence alone,
that's made him feel this way? What does he like?

(54:11):
What does he like about you? What he do you
ever have someone who likes about you? Was like? He
said that he really likes the way that I make
him feel. He loves he likes he really loves the
way that I'm always there for him. He really He
said that he loves the way that I always know
what to say in the right moment to make him
feel better. Okay, so basically everything is about what how
you boost him. You asked what he likes about you,

(54:33):
and he made it everything about him. Not the way
you know, the corner of your eyes crinkle up when
you smile, not the way you laugh, not the funny
little thing that you do when you're walking, Not the
cute way your nose wrinkles up when you're thinking about
something really hard. Not the way that you let up
a room when you walk into it. Not the way

(54:54):
that anytime life comes and pushes it down, you get
back up and you keep moving forward. And how that's
very fucking inspiring. Not the way that you figure out
a way, not the way that you're determined, Not the
way that your heart is open for so many animals, places, people, things, plants, nature,
Not the way that you're spiritually in tuned. No, no,

(55:14):
none of that. Just how you make him feel fuck off. Right,
But because you're so desperate for validation from somebody else,
you will take that small stippet and you will run
with it. Because context is not something you know many
times in the comments, I don't got time to read

(55:35):
all this. You don't have time to read anybody got
time to read all this? And no one got time
to read all this. You don't have time to read.
That's a problem. That's a problem. Can somebody just sum
it up? Because I don't have time to read that
whole thing? Well, no, like, And this is how a

(55:56):
lot of women are going through dating. I don't have
time to read the fired print, have time to actually
pay attention to who this man is. I don't have
time to whatever the case, man be lady, you better
make some time because that's where the context is. In
the context is what you actually need in order to
discern whether this is something to move forward with or

(56:17):
something to pump the brakes on. You better learn how
to read one hundred percent right. So it I'm very
you know, it's just very passionate about these things. Right.
So if you're going to date men, you have to

(56:43):
learn yourself and them right because, and I've said this before,
a lot of y'all are only used to one type
of man, and you think that all men function the
exact same ways, which they don't. And there are some
men who do one hundred percent. But that's the thing
you're so used to just one type of man, right,

(57:08):
that's the reality situation. If you're going to date men,
you need a fundamental basic toolkit at the very least,
at the fucking very least, right while simultaneously doing some
type of work for yourself. And I'm not just talking

(57:29):
about just talk therapy. Let me. I also I want
to say this too for my late because I have
been taking notes and I've been collecting data, and so
every time I have a new client sign on with me,
whatever the case may be, they usually have therapists side
by side, or they had done therapists therapy for X
amount of years, and they're like, this is not fucking it.

(57:50):
And so I always like ask questions about what worked
with did it work? So on and so forth, and
the number one collective all across the board, everyone has
said the same thing is that they're except for one
of my ladies has said that they did get homework,
but it is very much they come to therapy, they talk,
and then the next day or the or they don't

(58:11):
get any homework. They don't get any what's the what
I'm looking for, Like homework, but actionable integration steps. Right.
And then the next week they come back and they
kind of touch based off of what they talked last week,
and then they talk about something else because the new
problem has arise, and so and so on and so
on and so on and so forth. Right, So at
the end of the day they don't have any actionable

(58:34):
integration steps. Everything is just in theory, right. But theory
and practice are two different things. This is why there
are two parts of a test. Taking a test, right,
you got theory and then you got then you gotta
do the doe the fucking test, right, You got to
actually go there and make it, you know, whatever the case, right,
especially if you've ever been in like, uh, you know,

(58:55):
cosmetology or something like that. Right, you have like the
learnings of how to make the formulas, Why the formula
those are this way? What can happen if you don't
do the foremost correctly? You could burn off someone's fucking hair, right,
so on and so forth, whatever the case may be.
So you have the theory, the understanding of how the
chemicals go together, what happens with tinfoil, what happens with
this paper, foil paper, whatever the case may be, and
then you have practice where you fuck up right where

(59:19):
you where you're under the supervision of your teacher, and
she's like, okay, let me see it. Okay, yes, but
roll them this way instead. No seet see that could
have been an issue because you could have burned off
this lady's hair had it had been right. So you
practice on the mannequins, and then eventually you start practicing
on Walkin's the free ride it for ten bucks or
whatever the case may be. And now you graduated and
you're ready to go out in the world and be

(59:40):
a goddamn hairdresser, right right. The same thing with nails,
there's theory first, and then you know because otherwise you
have a drill and you can really drill someone's whole
fucking nail off to the bare skin. And now what
what you're gonna do get sued like in a sound
I'm saying, not really in Canada, but in the US
y also for every motherfucking thing, which is but I digress, right,

(01:00:01):
I don't know if you can really see somebody in
Candad for someone of that, I don't know. But we're
not heavy on the sewing here. That's one thing. I
know that's not what we're talking about today. I digress.
The point is what was my point?

Speaker 2 (01:00:12):
Oh?

Speaker 1 (01:00:12):
Yes, yes, yes, do alle love me? I love myself
and I want everybody to know that. So it doesn't
even matter if you don't love me not because I
love myself. The point is is that a lot of
women who are in therapy will you know, therapy helps
them get so far, but then they're like, hey, like
I need some actionable I need to put it into practice, right,

(01:00:33):
Like I need some homework. I need to go out there,
and like, what do I do? Okay, now we've talked
about everything, but now now what the fuck do I do?
And therapist is like, well, what do you think that
you should do? And my clients are like, I don't, bitch,
I'm asking you, I don't. I don't. Now just give me, Well,

(01:00:55):
maybe you should think for yourself for a little bit.
And it's like, yeah, I'm trying. Oh my god, I
just need some homework. Can I get some homework? Right?
So you're gonna have to mix your healing into real
time practice, right. Something I had one of my clients do.
She was itching to, you know, get out there and
date whatever. I was like, Yo, what you're going to

(01:01:16):
do is And I think I told you all this before
one of my clients. I was like, go ahead and
get you and y'all know, I fucking I'm not a
dating I hate dating apps. I'm I'm anti dating apps
for my own motherfucking reasons. But I was like, if
you're going to be on a dating app, use it
for target practice, okay, use it to learn how to

(01:01:36):
to practice rejecting men, to practice taking rejection, to practice
being able to read between the lines, to practice listening right,
paying attention to body language, so on and so forth.
Use it as practice. And that's exactly what the folks
she did, right, This is exactly whatever she did. And
she's like, wow, this is okay, you know. Is that

(01:01:59):
what I'm saying? We're gonna be here forever. I gotta go. Anyways,
The point I'm trying to make here is many different points.
I think I've made several different, very important points throughout
this conversation, and I hope that y'all took them and
you wrote them down. I understand that you guys are
not going to stop dating, and that's not the point.

(01:02:19):
I don't think that's the that's I don't I don't
think that's the point, right. And there's another thing too,
like a lot of women when I was talking about, like,
you know, not every woman came from a broken home necessarily,
but there are also a lot of women who, you know,
especially in a lot of our communities, who came from
homes where the women, young girls were taught to just

(01:02:40):
focus on your books, keep your head in your books,
keep hearing your books, keep your head in your books.
And while their counterparts or other not even counterparts, but other,
you know, while the other girls were being taught to
go to college and university and look for your man child,
like you know what I mean, look for your future
husband and whatever, learn how to date whatever. Like it

(01:03:00):
was books, books, books with books. And so now we
have a lot of women who are in their thirties
who look around and they realize that they don't they've
never dated, right. They spent years and years and years
of school just focused on their school, focus on their degrees,
focus on whatever the case they be. And now they
look up and they kind of feel like a fish
out of water because they don't they they don't know.
They're like, what is I don't know what's going on, right,

(01:03:21):
because they didn't get any any what I say, any
practice in the fields and they're not comfortable with it
when they were, you know, in their early twenties and
they're late teens or whatever the case may be, right
in their early twenties whatever. So that's another aspect of
it too, Sonay's the answer is not, you know, never

(01:03:42):
did another man again for as long as you live.
That's not realistic and it's not sustainable. That's not it.
The answer is not every single man in the world
is a trash piece of shit and you know they
deserve nothing. That's not That's not the answer either. Okay,
that's not the answer either. If you guys are going
to be out here dating, please please put yourself in

(01:04:04):
the position to at least learn from somebody who knows
what the fuck they're doing and those of the fuck
they're talking about is not going to lead you into
dangerous situations, and just take some notes, okay, and then
put them into practice. Okay, take your theory class and
then go put them into practice. I've actually been thinking
about for a hot second myself, like it doesn't matter

(01:04:25):
how much I try to escape this, it just keeps
coming back to me and it's fine, It's fine, it's fine.
I think I just needed to step away from certain
things for a little bit and have some moderation with it.
But a lot of what I do is, you know,
helping women soar through this shit. So I've I've been
thinking for a while. I know it's been a while

(01:04:47):
since I've done a class, and some of y'all I've
been asking me when's the next one I'm gonna put
together the next one, or some of you guys too,
who have missed my other class for like, yo, now
that I'm finally ready to begin to class, you be
stopping classes. You haven't done a class in nineteen no long.

(01:05:07):
So I know that my I have Bentley, Everything's gonna
be okay. To just calm down, Okay, I have a
dating with Dignity as a three month coaching but I'm
thinking about doing a one off dating with Dignity group class.

(01:05:30):
And y'all, those of y'all who have been in my class,
you know I don't play when it comes to my classes.
Boo boo, it's going to be one night. I'm not
going to do it in a like. I'm not going
to do an eight week group class. I'm not. I
don't have the capacity for that at all, at all,
at all. But I can do a one off evening
where we gather maybe an hour two hour class and
we get it pop in. So I'm I am just

(01:05:55):
working out some details in my head and even the
when and where. So what I'm i'm gonna do is
I'm actually gonna pause this episode so I can put
it together. But I'm gonna put together an email list.
That's exactly what I do. I'm put together an email
list so that you guys can sign up and when

(01:06:16):
the class is ready, you will know. Okay, hold on,
let me do that right now. I'll be pausing the
episode for in half hour. That okay, the emails. So
I'm gonna drop the email list in the show notes
of this episode. Click it, put your name and email
address in there, and then when the class is ready,

(01:06:36):
I'll shoot you guys an email, and then when seats
are open, you can go ahead and book your seats
from there. It'll also give me a good gauge on
how many people are gonna want to participate, because, as
you guys know, I don't fill up my class is
like a crazy person. So I might have to split
it up into two rounds just depending on what's the situation.

(01:06:57):
So it'll give a good gauge as well. So yeah,
that's what we're gonna do. And then once I figure
out a date and a time, it'll be probably be
on a Saturday, though it'll be on a Saturday. Oh there,
it's universally easy for fucking everybody, universally Saturday. You know,

(01:07:18):
it'll probably be on a Saturday. But once I figure
out the exact date and the time, then then I
will send y'all an email and then you can go
ahead and grab your seat. Okay, that's what we're gonna do.
So yeah, because because because because man, I want to

(01:07:39):
see y'all out there winning and at least, you know,
be equipped with the I was gonna say the bare minimum.
But if you've ever been in one of my classes,
I never give I was. We always end up going
over in class because I have so much to give.
I'm like, here, take this, take this, take things to
take this. This is oh and take this, oh and

(01:08:00):
take this and take this, so you know, vote again.
If you've never been in my classes, My classes are
fun because I'm fun and we make learning fun and
if you have been in my class before, while y'all
already know what it is. Okay, So on that note,
I'm going to go ahead and leave y'all with that again.
The link will be in the show notes to sign
up for the email list, and that'll be that. On

(01:08:21):
that ladies, I hope that this helped you today and
show some way shape or format. I really do hope
that it gave you some perspective and gave you something
to think about for yourselves and know that you got
to keep yourself safe out here. You're the only one
who can. And knowledge is power and practicing makes you

(01:08:42):
stronger and safer for yourself. So on that note, that
part okay, Okay, So all that said, I'm going to
wish you guys a good rest of your mornings and
years after. Wow, it's chewed out. What's going on? Sorry Jesus,

(01:09:08):
that was okay? What the hell? Oh? I see? Anyways,
I hope that you I hope that you guys have
a good rest of your morning's evenings afternoons over the book,
y'all are in the world, Please be safe, use condoms,
trust your intuition, and use your discernment and I'll catch here.

(01:09:29):
Y'all back here another time, another day, all right, much
love y'all. Gon'll be great.