February 6, 2023 • 48 mins
This month’s Smut Tea Stories topic is… Yetis?! We’ll be discussing what Yetis and their cousins are, as well as what cryptids are! We’ll also be talking about the books we read for the month on our theme, and what we’re up to in our bookish lives!
We hope your New Year was a blast and you’re actually sticking to your bookish resolutions this time! We’re trying…
We are, without a doubt, three trash cats in a trench coat guzzling coffee next to a dumpster fire at the back of a Waffle House while our Executive Producer tosses candy at us to keep the chaos going. A Coven of Critters, if you will.
JANUARY’S BOOKS:
THE AUTHORS
Mia HarlanWebsite: https://miaharlan.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/miaharlanbooksFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/miaharlanbooks/Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@miaharlanbooks
Francesca RoseWebsite: https://frankierobertson.wordpress.com/https://www.facebook.com/people/Frankie-Robertson/100063607628562/
Marilyn BarrWebsite: https://www.marilynbarr.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/marilyn_barr_author/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MarilynBarrAuthorTiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@marilyn_barr_author
Maddie SynInstagram: instagram.com/maddiesynauthor/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MaddieSynAuthor/Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@maddiesynauthor
THE HOSTS:
Carlotta Hughes (The Opossum)Website: https://www.authorcarlottahughes.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/authorcarlottahughesTiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@authorcarlottahughes
Jenifer Wood (The Skunk)Website: https://www.authorjeniferwood.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/authorjeniferwoodTiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@authorjeniferwood
Jersey Konlyn (The Raccoon)Website: https://linktr.ee/amazonian2017Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/amazonian17Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@theamazonian17
Smut Tea Stories is a monthly podcast with a focus on indie authors, their smutty books, monsters, aliens, tropes, and kinks! We’ll also cover various aspects of the book world, in education segments, including writing, editing, book cover design, readability, contracts, convention stuff, and more!
📅 Smut Tea Stories takes place at the end of each month and will launch as video on YouTube and as audio only on Spreaker, Spotify, iHeartRadio, Apple Podcasts, Audible, and Amazon Music.
🎧 These episodes will be pre-recorded because we have ThE aNxIeTy that would make us play dead if we went Live. We also have small children we need to keep alive, so, ya know.
We hope your New Year was a blast and you’re actually sticking to your bookish resolutions this time! We’re trying…
We are, without a doubt, three trash cats in a trench coat guzzling coffee next to a dumpster fire at the back of a Waffle House while our Executive Producer tosses candy at us to keep the chaos going. A Coven of Critters, if you will.
JANUARY’S BOOKS:
- Amber Goes Yeti by Mia Harlan:
- Yeti Yuletide by Francesca Rose:
- Cuddling my Chuchunya by Marilyn Barr:
- An Abominable Affair by Maddie Syn:
THE AUTHORS
Mia HarlanWebsite: https://miaharlan.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/miaharlanbooksFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/miaharlanbooks/Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@miaharlanbooks
Francesca RoseWebsite: https://frankierobertson.wordpress.com/https://www.facebook.com/people/Frankie-Robertson/100063607628562/
Marilyn BarrWebsite: https://www.marilynbarr.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/marilyn_barr_author/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MarilynBarrAuthorTiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@marilyn_barr_author
Maddie SynInstagram: instagram.com/maddiesynauthor/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MaddieSynAuthor/Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@maddiesynauthor
THE HOSTS:
Carlotta Hughes (The Opossum)Website: https://www.authorcarlottahughes.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/authorcarlottahughesTiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@authorcarlottahughes
Jenifer Wood (The Skunk)Website: https://www.authorjeniferwood.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/authorjeniferwoodTiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@authorjeniferwood
Jersey Konlyn (The Raccoon)Website: https://linktr.ee/amazonian2017Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/amazonian17Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@theamazonian17
Smut Tea Stories is a monthly podcast with a focus on indie authors, their smutty books, monsters, aliens, tropes, and kinks! We’ll also cover various aspects of the book world, in education segments, including writing, editing, book cover design, readability, contracts, convention stuff, and more!
📅 Smut Tea Stories takes place at the end of each month and will launch as video on YouTube and as audio only on Spreaker, Spotify, iHeartRadio, Apple Podcasts, Audible, and Amazon Music.
🎧 These episodes will be pre-recorded because we have ThE aNxIeTy that would make us play dead if we went Live. We also have small children we need to keep alive, so, ya know.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Buckle up, Buttercup, there's fuckeryto discuss. A writer, an editor,
and a reader walk into an indiebookstore and start an unhinged indie monster
an aliens mud podcast, because whythe fuck not? Hello, and welcome
to our fourth episode. Here it'sMuddy Stories. We are three trash cats
(00:22):
and a trench coat and our littlecritter coven, and our episode is going
to be about yetti and snowman iswelcome? Are you yetty for love?
Abominably adorable? What I'm ready for? A snow coat, bucket of yetti
ice cream? Actually, none ofthe ones that I read this month,
(00:45):
we're all like a like a cometasticyou know, you know some of the
books here are like, well that'sa lot. None of the ones that
I read, No, not overleabecause they were much shorter. Yeah,
so they did. It's like theydidn't have the time. But yeah,
had they been a little bit morerobust, they definitely would have had more
(01:07):
detail. Um, I feel likecometastic needs to be added to the vernacular.
Yeah, you're rather than fluid play, let's just call it cometast to
put that in the trigger warnings.Um, well, fluid play. Also,
I mean, there's lots of differentbodily fluids. Let's talk twenty twenty
(01:29):
three goals for the podcast for Life. Can we stop using the phrase new
year knew me? Because I amso sick of that and I think twenty
twenty itself just put that one inthe shitter. Uh no, no,
it's it's same me, same strangebitch. Just different year, new year,
same same shit. Yeah, no, new year, it's just reheated.
(01:51):
Yeah. No, well acknowledge that, like twenty twenty two was like
a year of change for me.A yeah, a little bit, but
I still the same meme. I'myeah. I think twenty twenty three is
going to be like the year ofchallenges, like audacity. It's the year
of audacity, audacity or just audacitybeing thrown at us, know us,
(02:17):
us throwing audacity back in the faceof the year. All Right, I
like that. I like that ratherthan yeah, the other way around.
No, no, not that.Not the world having audacity. It's had
enough audacity for like the past halfa decade. It can slow down and
stop you to fling it like YETIpoo, just like here's my audacity,
(02:42):
bitch, take it. Have youseen that in me, missus, like
I would just like to live throughsome precedented times like that is the best
way to put it. Like wejust had a Cat three hurricane and essentially
hit us here on the California coast. It's like for days in California.
What the fuck? I mean?There's a six year old that's teacher.
(03:06):
Carol Baskin's husband was found in likeArgentine. Carol Baskin's husband was that by
what? No, like Mexico orSouth America. I don't remember where,
but that fucker's live. She didn'tfeed him to the tiger. Oh no,
no, he for hating her.No, I don't. She's a
(03:27):
terrible human being. I never watchedit. Oh my god, So glad.
That was early, like deep COVIDtimes. That was the first two
months of COVID was nothing but TigerKing. Did you see the meme where
this is this game couple Like,uh, they dressed up as the Tiger
King guys and they literally died theircow to look like a tiger. They
(03:51):
died in a photo. How yegave it stripes? Yep? And it's
the best thing ever. Oh mygod. It was like the zeitgeist of
twenty twenty, like early twenty twentywas making sour dough bread and Tiger King
like that's that's what it was,and toilet paper. When the toilet paper
crisis hit, I will have PTSDfrom this ship, like shit, people.
(04:12):
People will be My children and grandchildrenwill be like Granny. What was
the what was COVID? Like it'llbe like flashbacks. I had to The
whole thing was I had to waitfor over three hours at Walmart by the
back doors for them to unload onesmall, tiny pellet of toilet paper and
(04:33):
take my little tiny collection of toiletpaper to the fronts because they only allowed
us to take a certain amount andthere was not enough for everybody that was
waiting for it. People were buyingBidays. They were sold out on Amazon.
I looked into it. I've actuallywanted to get one because I'm like,
wait, that's right, we coulddo that. We can't do that,
(04:54):
yeah, especially if you own yourown home, like changing to Biday
is. They're pretty straight forward process. Twenty twenty three, plans for the
podcast recording once a month is goingto continue. We have some mini episodes
that are in the work that wewill be having come out. I know
that we are going to be doingone for Valentine's Day that kind of dives
(05:15):
into why monster Fucking I'm excited aboutthat one because I have some specific results.
Then this is still very much inthe formation stages. Smutty Stories is
going to be taking on building acharity anthology, which I am very excited
(05:35):
about. I've wanted to do ananthology since I started writing. I think
it's a good way for a newwriter to start. We will be at
the helm of a charity anthology thatis going to benefit climate change. We
haven't picked an exact organization that we'regoing to be working with. This was
a fever dream that we kind ofall were like, I guess we're doing
(05:56):
this now. So in the yearof Our Lord twenty twenty three, we're
doing this, which yeah, withinthem with a matter within a matter of
five hours, but which is thesame thing with the podcast did it's kind
of our I'm all at this point, it's flagged by seat of pants.
We have no broomsticks, it's justseat of pants. Yeah, let's go
into Yeti's Yeah, so I'm gonnaI'm gonna blame Carlotta for yetis. That
(06:21):
was her idea. I was justsaying something that was winter and that's the
first thing that popped into my hand. Yetis I have learned are cryptids.
And I also had to learn whata cryptid was because I thought it meant
dead things. So my bird isgrowing up for fan. I'm gonna let
Carlotta explain what a cryptid is incase you are also as stupid as I
(06:44):
am. So word breakdown crypt Right. You think crypt as in mummies,
as in ancient Egypt. You knowa tomb, that's what you think of,
right, But that's because crypt meanshidden recovered. It's a mystery,
right, It's a hidden mystery.We don't know. We don't know.
I don't know why. I feellike I'm doing Shatner right now. Um,
(07:06):
but that's that's where crypto comes from, which makes me really curious about
cryptocurrency. Anyway, Moving on hiddencurrency, They're sorry you were so excited
about that. I just learned thatcrypt doesn't mean dead, Okay, it's
education. And then of course itI think, is basically means being.
(07:30):
So it's a being that is amystery. So it's something that we don't
actually know if it exists or not, because we don't have super solid proof
of its existence, scientific proof.Bigfoots, sasquatch, Lochness, Monster,
Mothman, Um, the Jersey Devil, like all of the those types of
(07:51):
beings. Those are cryptis, sowe don't actually know if they exist.
There's a lot of eyewitness accounts,but there's no hard evidence that's irrefutalum.
And then there's actually an area ofstudy called cryptozoology, which is actually breaking.
It's like the study of cryptids,both historically throughout time and then currently
(08:15):
and also trying to seek to findand identify cryptids and find solid scientific proof.
Could you imagine being like an eighteenyear old and being like, Mom,
I think I want to go studycryptozoology. My mom would be like
you want to, steady. Youwouldn't need to have more understanding parents than
(08:37):
you and I jen. Yes.Also, it's so one other thing with
um, like cryptozoology and everything.It is a pseudoscience and a subculture and
that's why we everybody is so rapidfrom Mothman. That's test on Man this
month took some trial and error forme because what my fellow podcast hosts know
(09:01):
but did not take into account whenwe took on Yeti's is that I am
definitely afraid of monkeys, and thoughyetis and monkeys are not the same thing,
that they do carry some similarities.Okay, I started with YETI where
and it was it was a littletoo it was a little too much.
(09:22):
I had to dnff it. Andit's nothing against the author or the like.
It was just not for me becauseof my personal monkey issues. Actually,
one of the books that I didwant to read first was Cuddling My
Chichinia, which we're going to talkabout, but it didn't come out until
the thirteenth, and it's the fourteenthas of recording, so I wasn't sure
if I was going to be ableto get it. But I reached out
(09:43):
to the author, Marilyn Barr,and she was very happy to provide me
an arc, which meant that Iwas able to read it in the time.
Chichinia is basically a the Russian versionof a Yeti there in Siberia.
They look a little a bit morehumanoid than some pictures of yeties I've seen,
which is I think also one ofthe reasons I was more like,
(10:05):
Okay, I can handle this.Um So, the main character is an
academic and they think they have uncoveredthe body of an early man because the
permafrost is melting because of global warming, which is real. Global warming is
real. Everyone they she is goingon a dig to see if they can
(10:28):
do more research on this basically whatthey think is a frozen early man.
You find out along the way thatit is not of a frozen early man.
It is it's a chichinya that haspassed. Sadly, you realize that
there are their listill living in thearea. In her travel to Siberia,
gets separated from the people that aredoing the dig and is saved by a
(10:54):
living chichinia And we're gonna go withArtium artium um aart iom and she is
just as somebody who has been studyingthis for like her attire academic career.
She is just delighted to meet him, to realize that he exists and that
(11:15):
they are not extinct. That andso things with them get spicy pretty quickly
because she is she has gone toSiberia looking for these creatures and was hoping
to inspect like long since passed,and to realize that there's someone alive that
she can communicate with um in Russianis just she's just super pumped about it.
(11:43):
They do have their own version ofFaded Mates, which a lot of
the words are in Russian and I'mand the author Marilyn Barr said she would
help guide me through, and Iwas like, you know what, I'm
just gonna say, it's in Russian, but it was really sweet. The
way they claim their woman when theyside that they want to like be mates
is through chasing, which, ifyou're new to this podcast, chasing is
(12:07):
one of my favorite things. Iwas a fan. I was a big
fan of this. It is justout has barely any reviews right now because
it just came out, So Iwould recommend the Chechnya is still a little
on the monkey side for me,but I still devoured this book in like
a day and a half and Ienjoyed it. I don't know if yeedies
(12:28):
or something I will add to myrepertoire, but I did enjoy it.
Fice level two three alrighty Jersey,Yes, rock paper scissors, alright,
ready, rock paper scissors? Yeah? Oh no, all right again,
rock paper scissors. Yeah, Okay, I guess I go all right,
(12:52):
So I guess I won. Soum so the book that I chose this
month is um Amber Goes Yetty,and it's book three of four of the
Jewels. It's Silver Springs is likea multi serious thing with different characters,
and this is like Amber and theJewels Cafe, and that's what this like
(13:16):
four book series is about. Idon't know if there's going to be more
or not. And it's all byMeo Harlan and it was actually a originally
part of a reverse hair anthology calledSnowmen, and it's not available anymore unfortunately.
But what's cool about this book isthat it takes place in this town
(13:39):
coast called Silver Springs, and ithas to do with Amber, who has
this weird chameleon shifting ability. NowI didn't read the first two books,
so I was still okay. Iwasn't lost, so I was able to
pick up on everything, but Iknow that there's like some pieces that I'm
missing, But she's shifting ability.And then her three mates are Julian,
(14:03):
who is this witch who just likehis magic is awry all the time,
just slapstick off the deep bend um. And then there's Chase and West who
just like round those two. SoAmber and Julian are the ones causing the
shit storm. Chase and West arethe ones that like, no, no,
(14:24):
dear, come here, come backdown to her. Okay. Um,
So what'school is two is this booktakes place from multiple points of view,
which is nice, nice, Andit's only about sixty six pages so
it's really short, very sweet.Um. It's a Winter Winter a little
(14:45):
novella, which is nice. Um. It takes place in the Jewels Cafe.
They're getting ready for midwinter festival.Julian, his senses magic is so
out of control. He decides he'sgoing to make cozy cocos to warm everybody
yep, because their thermostat is goingaround. He makes said cocoas, and
then nanigans start occurring, and ayetti shows up. And since Amber has
(15:11):
this uncontrollable shifting ability where she shiftsinto beings that are around her and she
doesn't know when or how, itjust just happens, she turns into a
yetti and then every time she getscold, it turns into a yetti to
get warm again. So you cansee how this would be like randomly turns
(15:31):
into a yetti could be a problemwhen you're planning a festival. A little
She's just a little bit. She'svery insecure about her shifting all the time
and how it affects her mates,because she's afraid that they're going to stop
loving her for shifting all the time. Especially when she turns into a Yetti.
(15:54):
That's like she's just like, I'mno, this is not fun.
Can't I be a druid instead?Yeah, and like her, her reaction
to turning into a Yetti and thenher mate's reaction into saying her as a
Yetti are just hilarious. It's great. And then of course Jetti have urges
(16:19):
like most beings would, so ofcourse there's some smashing. It wraps up
very nicely. It's a very short, sweet rom come and I actually want
to go back and read the firsttwo books. So yeah, okay,
y good. What rating would yougive this one? I'd probably give it
(16:40):
like a three and a half.Like I wish it was longer, totally
fair, totally fair. Okay,I wish there was more spice, but
then I always wish for more spice, which is why you end up rating
the Orca. Yeah, yeah,the Alcove scene and then also um three
chapters of getting eaten out. Yeah, maybe we should call it the orc
(17:04):
Karma Sutra. Yeah, Comma noper Karma Sutra, not Karma Sutra.
Karma Sutra. Yes, love thatis getting published, by the way.
Yeah, any updates on Ruger's Pearl, it's so awful? Um yes,
(17:27):
yes, actually um uh next Friday. Yeah, as as long as everything
goes smoothly next Friday, because weare recording right now in the fourteenth would
be the twenty first, which meansthat the time that this this podcast comes
(17:48):
out, Ruger's Pearl will be availableto be out, should be out.
I know that you both will screamat me if it's not so, and
I'm as you're aware. That's theimportant thing I have. This sounds so
weird and so wrong at the sametime. Completion anxiety with projects, not
(18:11):
with yeah times with just with projects, because you're gonna have completion anxiety.
Okay, if you're gonna have completionanxiety, I would rather have it with
projects than fun times. I mean, honestly looked true. Yeah yeah uh.
The good news is is that it'salready pretty much all edited and pretty
(18:33):
much all formatedited. So um theformatted I'm sorry me words for Brad I
um. If you are new tothis podcast. Um Ruger's Pearl is the
first book in Um Carlotta's Orc Matchseries. There is a prequel out currently
(18:57):
called Thorn Stuff, which is isamazing and was one of my good introductions
two orcs and now I'm fucking obsessedwith Orcs and obsessed with fucking orcs.
So the reason why we are pushingher so hard to get this out is
that we have both read, betaread and edited this book and it needs
to beginning. Yeah, it needsWe need a physical copy now, ma'am.
(19:21):
So, Um, we are stronglyencouraging Carlotta to get this out into
the world. Um, we are, Carlotta. Have we decided that we're
calling it high fantasy erotica. Sure, she's blushing, look at her.
She's horrible. Um so you tetica. That works. But it's also sci
(19:44):
fi, which is a problem.Is five genres in one just calls but
it's awesome. Call it historical fictionand see what happens. It is not
that you totally would have called Thorn'sDove historical fiction. Technically, yeah,
because it happened in the seventies exactly. It's it's history at this point,
(20:11):
back when Roe V. Wade wasstill law. Yeah, yeah, oh,
I love I love that. Theonly one star review I have on
my book so far was posted onSeptember eleventh, and it was because the
(20:32):
book was too political. I readthese books to get away from this type
of thing in the real world.And I'm like, excuse you, do
you not understand that science fiction andfantasy are generally progressive. Star Trek hello,
anyway, it's so much Star Trek. Star Trek the first kiss between
(20:52):
an African American and yeah, uhhuh. I don't even like Star Trek.
And I know that. I mean, I don't dislike Star Trek.
I just don't know things. Okay, I'm very small, That's okay.
Star Trek had a lot of majorTV first, and that was one of
the big big ones. Yeah.And science fiction has always been really progressive.
(21:14):
I mean yes, and if itwasn't for a woman, it never
would have been made. Yeah.No, I thought it was Lucy Ball.
Lucy Wall was like the executive placepushed. Yes, sorry, I
was thinking about the genre. No, although that too. Yeah, yeah,
(21:38):
I'm talking about Star Trek itself,not the genre. Anything you can
do, I can do bleeding whatum So women are awesome. Just say
now I need to look this upwhile we're talking. Okay, Okay,
Jersey, you go and I willfind out who wrote the first time fiction
(22:00):
novel. What wasn't the first one? The Frankenstein. It was Frankenstein written
by Mary Shelley. It's not avery good book. I hate Frankenstein.
But yes, but more of likebut that's more like. Oh no,
it is si fi. Yeah,but yeah, but like a space Odyssey
one. Oh. I don't knowthat one's more monster unless I'm thinking more
(22:22):
like. I would have mean sheshe was a woman that first wrote alien.
Fucking Wait, doesn't the monster havesex with a woman? Did I
imagine that? Or did I justhope for that? I should have seen
the signs. No, I don'tknow. Well, I mean in some
(22:44):
of the adaptations, Yes, someof the adaptations. Yes, it is
Frankenstein's wife. I mean, I'veseen young Frankenstein. My God, that
one's funny. I've seen I sawa thank you, she sees something,
Carlotta. I saw it in highschool. I bet you my teacher got
in trouble for showing it to us. A teacher would get in trouble for
(23:07):
showing it now I doubt they gotin trouble back then. As someone who
teaches criminal justice, you would besurprised. Did I get away with I
don't know. It's America, mI just have them sign a waiver,
and I put it like on thethird page, like your kids will be
watching reading our movies, and it'son the third page of the syllabus.
(23:29):
None of them ever read it.They sign it off, and I'm like,
not legally liable. So I hadone teacher unintentionally, okay, So
she purposely turned on the movie TommyBoy as a fun thing for us to
watch because Tommy the pinball Wizard.No, no, not at all.
(23:56):
I don't even know what the hellthat is. But I can tell you,
no, don't watch it. Iwon't look it up. So tell
me. Boy was an eighties movieand funny but so not appropriate to show
to high schoolers in school. Andshe hadn't seen it in years, and
(24:17):
all she knew was it was oneof her favorites growing up. And we
made it like twenty minutes into themovie and there's only eight of us in
the room and we're all dying,and she's like, I have to turn
this off. I'm going to getin trouble like already what already happened?
It's already happened. Yeah. Sothe book that I read this month was
(24:41):
yet Yield Tied by Francesca Rose.It is technically book two in a series,
or at least a couple of there'sjust the two of them out so
far. The first one was Yettyin the Mist. I did not read
that one. I did not knowthat was a thing until after I read
this one. This one is aregency romance. It's adorably funny in my
(25:02):
opinion that Jane is our female maincharacter. She is doing her best to
run away from an abusive husband andregency times, she's basically his property,
so she's doing everything she can tohide, and she needs a job.
(25:22):
She needs money in order to surviveaway from him and away from her craziest
uncle who basically sold her to him. And she ends up being a bookkeeper
for a woman who owns two pleasurehouses, one specifically for the women who
would need to be cured of theirhysteria, and then one for the bed.
(25:45):
Shall we get into the history ofhysteria. Let's talk about hysteria.
Yes, you might actually be ableto explain that one a little bit better
than I can. I'd like totalk about the history of hysteria, and
I'd also like to admit that Idon't know what a re agency romances time
period. Yeah, so I thinklike pride and prejudice timeframe. Okay,
(26:07):
okay, And that's so our executiveproducer asked me last night, and I
was like, I don't know,uh, back to you on that.
Actually, no, I'm not evenI shouldn't. I shouldn't lie. I
made something up. I was like, I think it means historical. Yeah,
basically like Jane Austen, pride andprejudice, that sort of time frame.
Okay, yeah, okay, okay, So regency yetis yeah, that's
(26:30):
wild. Yeah, We're we've gonedown a hole. We've gone down the
rabbit hole, and we're not comingout. I don't want to read rabbits
though, Sorry, okay, um, so make you okay. The history
of hysteria, very abridged version iswhen the men folk decided to take on
(26:56):
the midwifery. That would you knowthat women have had forever for women's health,
any time a woman was of aungenteel disposition had too many opinions talk
too much, I eat, agossip, or any number of things that
(27:19):
a man did not like. Shewas labeled with hysteria and kid be put
away in an asylum. So wewould all be an asylums basically. Yeah,
okay, So that basically got themout of the way, and they
just decided that they were going totry to cure this hysteria in a lot
(27:42):
of different ways. Some of themare completely barbaric. That actually there's a
movie called Stonehurst Asylum which actually coverspart of it, and it's pretty accurate,
and I I was like, holyshit, that is what this is.
But they would some of the treatmentsfor hysteria, because you know,
(28:04):
the uterus is heroin Okaine, pelvicmassages and there were there were even pamphlets
for men how to cure your wifeof hysteria by giving her a pelvic massage.
Where did those goose? Right?Like? Men? Just bring those
back? Like cheez, your wifeis cranky because you haven't fucked her and
(28:30):
give her an orgasm in like threemonths or a fucked her and left her
hanging that Yeah bastards. Yeah right, Yeah, So there's hysteria and uh.
In Paulette's pleasure palace is the onefor the women, I believe.
(28:53):
No, no, that's the onefor the men, and the one for
the women is the tea room.Oh that makes more sense, mum.
And Jane has become the bookkeeper andit's doing a very good job. And
Paulette does not want to see hergo anywhere. It's like, I trust
you, you're doing great. Let'sgo. Shopy, one of Pullet's bodyguards.
(29:18):
I guess you could say she's gotto mean once. Um. She's
got an American Sasquatch who's brown,and then she's got a Yeti who's from
the Himalayas. I believe they theYeti say it very differently. I'm not
even gonna attempt it at all.It's a him Alayas and so he's he
(29:45):
wears his suit, he just doesn'twear shoes and doesn't have anything on his
hands because the heat for him,even though we would be called in certain
parts of England, for him,it is just too bloody hot. And
Jane is doing her best to hidefrom her her husband, the Yeti.
(30:06):
I'm going to attempt to pronounce hisname properly. I don't know if I
am Milan Milan. It's m IL A N N. Milan, Milan,
Melan, Milan. I don't know, okay Man. Yeah, He
(30:29):
tries to walk her back to herher dorm. I guess she's she was
living in a home for respectable youngladies, because that was a big thing
back then, where your single,unattached women would live in these places just
for the women, and the landladies who ran them were very, very
(30:49):
strict and insane. You have tobe here by a certain time. I
will lock the door. If youdon't come back, I'm going to assume
you're doing nefarious things and you won'tbe allowed to stay. As a history
teacher can confirm this is real.Well, Jane and Milan are walking back
(31:11):
to her dorm because it's late andhe does not feel comfortable with her walking
there by herself, so he isescorting her home and a guy comes up
and says, I know you.Your husband's looking for you. Let's take
you home. She doesn't want togo home. Milan steps in the way.
(31:33):
Guy pulls out a gun and hegets shot through and through. He's
fine, but she has to takehim inside to catch him up, and
her landlady is just screaming and squealingand just all kinds of unhappy and kicks
her out, and he becomes overlyprotective after that, and she becomes overly
(31:56):
protective because you saved me. Ihave to this somehow. So she basically
becomes his nurse and has moved intothe tea room building with the rest of
the people that work there, whoall adore her, and she's she's she's
basically their jen who's the baby birdneeds to learn a few things to understand
(32:19):
the vernacular, and they're all sovery willing to help, and it's so
cute, and they all just adoreher so very much. But at one
point her husband and his thugs andhis henchmen find her at the tea room,
so she has to try and runin order to protect herself in Melan's
like, you're not going anywhere withoutme, So they go stay with his
(32:45):
cousin and his mate in the country. And yes, fun times in sue
a couple of times. This isonly seventy something pages. It's very quick,
but it's very adorable. It justthere was a whole bunch of kind
(33:08):
of moments for me. I enjoyedit quite a bit. It might not
be everybody's a cup of tea.Ha ha ha ha. But I would
give it a three to four,but there's in general on the spicy scale,
(33:28):
probably about a two to three,just because I would have preferred a
lot more detail. But that soundsadorable. It was so cute. Um,
I kind of want to read thatone, Now I didn't. I
always assumed Regency romance meant history,but I like never asked, so I
(33:49):
was like, I'll find out eventually. But just if you hear Regency,
just think Jane Austen and you're basicallyin the time, very mentally, so
you're good. Okay, okay,all right. So the last book on
the docket is Madison's Unabominable Affair.Now, this is a nice little short
it's um a little over one hundredpages. Was originally included in the Big
(34:12):
Fields Charity anthology, which was alimited run so it only ran for about
three months, and it was launchedlast year on Valentine's date. And they
were cute little romances. The tropewas size difference, so you had everything
from the Mountain's Mate, which waslike a huge giants and a human woman
(34:32):
who was dangling from his giant COCKADOODLEOand his pants while they were trying to
escape down to like, you know, not too much of a difference.
Years was in there, and Yearswas respectable, I mean, not unrespectable,
but it was a less of adifference. Yeah, it was a
(34:54):
little bit of over a foot ofa difference. Um, one was a
giant, hulking work and the otherone was just like a chubby, tall
chick. But yes. So thenice thing about charity anthologies if you guys
were not aware, especially if they'rea limited rung, that means that once
the charity is complete, then allthe rights for the stories were wrote back
(35:15):
to the authors, so they cando with those stories whatever they like.
So some people just go ahead andstraight publish the short as it was.
Some people expand upon it. Somepeople don't put them back out. For
example, for Thorne Stuff, Iexpanded it to be a sixty five thousand
word novel. Other people just putit out as is. So I know
(35:36):
that Madison. I don't know ifshe added anymore to it or not.
I can't remember, but yeah,it's very cute, it's very sweet.
So it's called an abominable affair,and we have Tapiza who is our female
main character, and she is livingin a mountain side cave with her sick
(35:59):
mother, her two younger brothers,and they have been kind of left behind
by their tribe because her her momhas been too sick to travel UM and
her mom is known for bearing thebeing this like fierce huntress and has taken
princess warrior, Princess Warrior princess.This is like almost prehistoric times. This
(36:19):
isn't like ye or like that.This is like on Earth but like a
long time ago. Yes. Yeah, So to Pisa is actually not super
great at hunting, but because hermom's sick, she has to try make
it work UM. And she islike out trying to hunt for her starving
(36:40):
family and she comes across a Jettiwho UM sees that she's kind of a
hot mess and is like, Okay, well, I'm not going to kill
her. UM. So he decidesto kind of take pity on her and
feed her and then and strikes adeal with her, Um of I will
(37:04):
help provide for your family because ifyou come back and visit me um every
full moon. And at at thatpoint it's kind of not clear like what
the visit's for it's not like andwe're gonna fuck. It's like just I
just need some company. I enjoyyour company, I am. Yeah.
Yeah, so, which is fairbecause yeties are often portrayed as like solitary
(37:27):
creatures. So the fact that especiallyyeah, so he sticks true to his
words. She sticks true to herword. Um, and um first time
she comes back. Uh, there'sno there's no sexy times, but they're
definitely like clearly attracted to each other. Yeah, there's some tension there.
(37:50):
Um. It kind of expands fromthere where every full moon she is delayed
from returning. Um, it's thesecond or third full moon, Jersie,
do you remember. I believe itwas the third full moon that she got
delayed, and it was because hermom started to get better and wanted to
(38:12):
keep her around a little bit moreand see how she was doing take care
of the boys. And so becauseof that, the Yeti comes down from
the top of his mountain to figureout where the heck are you and he
they're able to talk for a second, and she explains to him like,
I didn't want to come up themountain in case my mother understood what was
(38:37):
happening and would send the tribe laterto come kill you. I liked this
book. I enjoyed reading it,but I was kind of like, oh,
okay, we're having sex in atree right now, let's all right,
let's go. It's a tree behinda bush. Let's have some fun
over here before the toddlers and sickmom come out and find us. Yeah.
Yeah. Ultimately, to Pizza hasto make a decision as to whether
(38:57):
or not she is going to stayon the hillside with her new um yetti
friend, or if she is goingto travel back with the tribe now that
her mom as well. Some ofthe tropes, without giving away the ending,
there is a pregnancy trope. Ienjoyed this, but I will say
I wish it had like a hundredmore pages like I had. I liked
(39:20):
the characters, I liked the plot. Um, I could have done with
five more sexual I guess I needto go to Karlotta for that many more
sex scenes. Um. But ormaybe LM Drew you know yea, but
yeah, I would recommend that one. That one. I read um in
like less than an hour. UM. So it's a very quick read.
(39:44):
Yeah, and it's cute, it'ssweet, and I UM, if you
had not figured out. I preferand low angst and so um low angst
for sure. I am not oneof those people that's like I wanted to
feel it in my soul. No, I don't. Um, so you
want to feel it in your yourfeel it elsewhere? Um one handed read.
(40:07):
Yeah, so that's why I'm here. I'm not lying about it.
I have DNF books for causing metoo much anxiety. Um. There is
a there was a time where Iwas like, Carlia, if you don't
like make this happen, I'm gonnahave to DNF out of here because I'm
stressed. I had. I hadto reassure you a whole lotta be okay.
(40:30):
True, Yes, it will beokay. And then as I started
proving it to you that it wasgoing to be okay, You're like,
oh, okay, you actually keepyour word. It's gonna be okay.
Fly on the wall during those conversations, impeccable. I read to escape anxiety,
(40:51):
not to make more anxiety. Umso so yeah, I would definitely
recommend an abominable fare. Also,I did want to explain because this was
very confusing to me when I wasnew to the book world. If you
rent something on Ku and then giveit back. That is not returning a
book. I was like, ohmy god, am I committing like that?
(41:12):
Like the offense that everybody's stressed about. No, because Ku was a
library, k you you think aboutit, This is a scribed library library.
Yes, you're just by in thebook and then you return it.
It's not it's not like a financialreturn. No. And I do wish.
I really wish Ruby Dixon got moneyfor every time I reread pages of
(41:32):
her books, because she wouldn't havemade a lot of money off of me.
But uh uh, if we wantto talk about orgs, would we
like to segue into February? Wecan. I will say I am impressed
that we waited this long. Ididn't kind of jump the gun. I
wanted us to be a few inbefore we hit our one of our top
(41:57):
top tier. This is peak monthsRomance. Excited for this one. We
are feral for Orcs, and Orcsare the month of February. I have
already suggested that it might need tobe a two part episode just because of
the backlog of ORC books that Ihave consumed, UM that Carlotta has consumed,
the Jersey have consumed, UM I, off the top of my head
(42:20):
can think of six Orc books thatI have read, and I am currently
reading another one. ORCS is February. Um, we are very excited about
this. I've actually watched Yes hadto set aside an Orc book to read
my Yetti books this week. It'sa big sacrifice for you. Yeah,
I know, I know. Andit was a dom sub Orc book,
(42:45):
Catherine Moon's new Orc book. I'vewanted to read that. Yeah, uh
huh, yeah, you would likeit, f like yeah. And then
author kl Wyatt is coming out withher first book. She is big on
TikTok. If you don't know whoshe is, I don't know what the
title is, but it's her name'sKale Wyatt, and it is. I
(43:07):
think it's a dark Orc romance andit's like they're on the cover, they're
like in the snow, and I'mjust like I thought it came out yesterday
and was pissed to discover it comesout next week. Comes out the twenty
fourth of January, I believe,And I'm very excited to read that one.
Um, it looks really good andshe's already got some I always fumble
(43:29):
with this ns fw art. She'snot safe for work. Yeah, I
mean I know what it stands for, but I always get the letters mixed
up. It's like she's already gotsome of that on her TikTok and Instagram
teasing I'm ready, so whenever you'reready, Kale. What here? There's
another one? The Orc Boss byLark Green is a monster mafia romance.
(43:54):
Ah. Yes, I have beenlooking forward to that one. Kidnapping of
can be niance, one bed,high heat, slow burn, um,
alley Way sex, Alley Way sex, I'm so I want Alley Way sex?
Um you yet? Orcos mafia romance. I mean, although kidnapping of
(44:15):
convenience? What is a kidnapping ofconvenience? But look at the chest?
I know? Yeah, okay,so this is how but I love it.
She also has been posting about howshe wants to be a guest on
a podcast. So oh um,so maybe not this month or our ORC
(44:37):
month because I feel like our Orcmonth is gonna go sideways. Um,
there's gonna be so much content fornext month. A lot of content,
yeah, a lot of stuffing.Yeah, what did we decide? What
is it? Uh? It's fantastic, fantastic, Yes, it was utterly
(44:57):
fantastic and we're stop. And that'snot even talking about who's like kind of
the unofficial like or the starter ofthe orcs, which is Fendley Finn.
Yeah. Um, so we'll definitelybe discussing uh Findley fin. Um.
So that is our February plan isorcs. Um. If we haven't made
(45:19):
you drool for orcs um, we'renot doing our job appropriately. Yeah.
But if you're going to start withan orc, if you're going to start
with an orc, I would startwith thorn stuff. Um, that's a
good one to start with. Yes, yeah, yeah, it's Plata,
but yeah, it's it really isa good book to start with if you
just kind of want to ease yourway in to the Orca. Carlotta is
(45:45):
really really good at describing on howto ease your way in, Like there's
a lot of really lot she isshe makes sure it fits. And that's
that is. We haven't even addressedthe my favorite book of all time,
which is Half Works Made in Brideby Ruby Dixon. I have read it
more times than is um probably mentallysafe for me. Um. So we
(46:08):
will be discussing that in minute detail. Yea, my nute. So why
do we love monsters. Find outon our little video episode Why Monsters,
(46:29):
Why Monsters, if we haven't madeit clear that was January, that was
January was Yetis. And I willsay it was harder to find Yetis than
we anticipated, which I think iskind of funny since people go looking for
Yetis and never find them. Um. So, um, we are already
we We've said orcs are next month. We we have months lined up,
(46:52):
but we're already in talks about,um what's to come. I'm pushing hard
for winged beings, um because Ihave some in mind. Yes, so,
but we are also open to ifyou have an out of left field
UM idea that you think maybe wehaven't thought of. We probably have because
we've gone down many rabbit holes.Um. I mean we've looked at the
(47:12):
Potato Shifter book. We know thatsquirrel, the bear in the squirrel Yeah,
call me pars Farah Valentine's Balloon Shifters. Yeah we um and squeal uh
okay. So um, thank youfor joining us for January next month will
(47:37):
be orcs and um next month we'llalso be putting out a mini episode UM
on why Monsters. So all right, thank you for joining US and trash
Cats Out, trash Cats, hashcats Out,
Buckle up, Buttercup, there's fuckeryto discuss. A writer, an editor,
and a reader walk into an indiebookstore and start an unhinged indie monster
an aliens mud podcast, because whythe fuck not? Hello, and welcome
to our fourth episode. Here it'sMuddy Stories. We are three trash cats
(00:22):
and a trench coat and our littlecritter coven, and our episode is going
to be about yetti and snowman iswelcome? Are you yetty for love?
Abominably adorable? What I'm ready for? A snow coat, bucket of yetti
ice cream? Actually, none ofthe ones that I read this month,
(00:45):
we're all like a like a cometasticyou know, you know some of the
books here are like, well that'sa lot. None of the ones that
I read, No, not overleabecause they were much shorter. Yeah,
so they did. It's like theydidn't have the time. But yeah,
had they been a little bit morerobust, they definitely would have had more
(01:07):
detail. Um, I feel likecometastic needs to be added to the vernacular.
Yeah, you're rather than fluid play, let's just call it cometast to
put that in the trigger warnings.Um, well, fluid play. Also,
I mean, there's lots of differentbodily fluids. Let's talk twenty twenty
(01:29):
three goals for the podcast for Life. Can we stop using the phrase new
year knew me? Because I amso sick of that and I think twenty
twenty itself just put that one inthe shitter. Uh no, no,
it's it's same me, same strangebitch. Just different year, new year,
same same shit. Yeah, no, new year, it's just reheated.
(01:51):
Yeah. No, well acknowledge that, like twenty twenty two was like
a year of change for me.A yeah, a little bit, but
I still the same meme. I'myeah. I think twenty twenty three is
going to be like the year ofchallenges, like audacity. It's the year
of audacity, audacity or just audacitybeing thrown at us, know us,
(02:17):
us throwing audacity back in the faceof the year. All Right, I
like that. I like that ratherthan yeah, the other way around.
No, no, not that.Not the world having audacity. It's had
enough audacity for like the past halfa decade. It can slow down and
stop you to fling it like YETIpoo, just like here's my audacity,
(02:42):
bitch, take it. Have youseen that in me, missus, like
I would just like to live throughsome precedented times like that is the best
way to put it. Like wejust had a Cat three hurricane and essentially
hit us here on the California coast. It's like for days in California.
What the fuck? I mean?There's a six year old that's teacher.
(03:06):
Carol Baskin's husband was found in likeArgentine. Carol Baskin's husband was that by
what? No, like Mexico orSouth America. I don't remember where,
but that fucker's live. She didn'tfeed him to the tiger. Oh no,
no, he for hating her.No, I don't. She's a
(03:27):
terrible human being. I never watchedit. Oh my god, So glad.
That was early, like deep COVIDtimes. That was the first two
months of COVID was nothing but TigerKing. Did you see the meme where
this is this game couple Like,uh, they dressed up as the Tiger
King guys and they literally died theircow to look like a tiger. They
(03:51):
died in a photo. How yegave it stripes? Yep? And it's
the best thing ever. Oh mygod. It was like the zeitgeist of
twenty twenty, like early twenty twentywas making sour dough bread and Tiger King
like that's that's what it was,and toilet paper. When the toilet paper
crisis hit, I will have PTSDfrom this ship, like shit, people.
(04:12):
People will be My children and grandchildrenwill be like Granny. What was
the what was COVID? Like it'llbe like flashbacks. I had to The
whole thing was I had to waitfor over three hours at Walmart by the
back doors for them to unload onesmall, tiny pellet of toilet paper and
(04:33):
take my little tiny collection of toiletpaper to the fronts because they only allowed
us to take a certain amount andthere was not enough for everybody that was
waiting for it. People were buyingBidays. They were sold out on Amazon.
I looked into it. I've actuallywanted to get one because I'm like,
wait, that's right, we coulddo that. We can't do that,
(04:54):
yeah, especially if you own yourown home, like changing to Biday
is. They're pretty straight forward process. Twenty twenty three, plans for the
podcast recording once a month is goingto continue. We have some mini episodes
that are in the work that wewill be having come out. I know
that we are going to be doingone for Valentine's Day that kind of dives
(05:15):
into why monster Fucking I'm excited aboutthat one because I have some specific results.
Then this is still very much inthe formation stages. Smutty Stories is
going to be taking on building acharity anthology, which I am very excited
(05:35):
about. I've wanted to do ananthology since I started writing. I think
it's a good way for a newwriter to start. We will be at
the helm of a charity anthology thatis going to benefit climate change. We
haven't picked an exact organization that we'regoing to be working with. This was
a fever dream that we kind ofall were like, I guess we're doing
(05:56):
this now. So in the yearof Our Lord twenty twenty three, we're
doing this, which yeah, withinthem with a matter within a matter of
five hours, but which is thesame thing with the podcast did it's kind
of our I'm all at this point, it's flagged by seat of pants.
We have no broomsticks, it's justseat of pants. Yeah, let's go
into Yeti's Yeah, so I'm gonnaI'm gonna blame Carlotta for yetis. That
(06:21):
was her idea. I was justsaying something that was winter and that's the
first thing that popped into my hand. Yetis I have learned are cryptids.
And I also had to learn whata cryptid was because I thought it meant
dead things. So my bird isgrowing up for fan. I'm gonna let
Carlotta explain what a cryptid is incase you are also as stupid as I
(06:44):
am. So word breakdown crypt Right. You think crypt as in mummies,
as in ancient Egypt. You knowa tomb, that's what you think of,
right, But that's because crypt meanshidden recovered. It's a mystery,
right, It's a hidden mystery.We don't know. We don't know.
I don't know why. I feellike I'm doing Shatner right now. Um,
(07:06):
but that's that's where crypto comes from, which makes me really curious about
cryptocurrency. Anyway, Moving on hiddencurrency, They're sorry you were so excited
about that. I just learned thatcrypt doesn't mean dead, Okay, it's
education. And then of course itI think, is basically means being.
(07:30):
So it's a being that is amystery. So it's something that we don't
actually know if it exists or not, because we don't have super solid proof
of its existence, scientific proof.Bigfoots, sasquatch, Lochness, Monster,
Mothman, Um, the Jersey Devil, like all of the those types of
(07:51):
beings. Those are cryptis, sowe don't actually know if they exist.
There's a lot of eyewitness accounts,but there's no hard evidence that's irrefutalum.
And then there's actually an area ofstudy called cryptozoology, which is actually breaking.
It's like the study of cryptids,both historically throughout time and then currently
(08:15):
and also trying to seek to findand identify cryptids and find solid scientific proof.
Could you imagine being like an eighteenyear old and being like, Mom,
I think I want to go studycryptozoology. My mom would be like
you want to, steady. Youwouldn't need to have more understanding parents than
(08:37):
you and I jen. Yes.Also, it's so one other thing with
um, like cryptozoology and everything.It is a pseudoscience and a subculture and
that's why we everybody is so rapidfrom Mothman. That's test on Man this
month took some trial and error forme because what my fellow podcast hosts know
(09:01):
but did not take into account whenwe took on Yeti's is that I am
definitely afraid of monkeys, and thoughyetis and monkeys are not the same thing,
that they do carry some similarities.Okay, I started with YETI where
and it was it was a littletoo it was a little too much.
(09:22):
I had to dnff it. Andit's nothing against the author or the like.
It was just not for me becauseof my personal monkey issues. Actually,
one of the books that I didwant to read first was Cuddling My
Chichinia, which we're going to talkabout, but it didn't come out until
the thirteenth, and it's the fourteenthas of recording, so I wasn't sure
if I was going to be ableto get it. But I reached out
(09:43):
to the author, Marilyn Barr,and she was very happy to provide me
an arc, which meant that Iwas able to read it in the time.
Chichinia is basically a the Russian versionof a Yeti there in Siberia.
They look a little a bit morehumanoid than some pictures of yeties I've seen,
which is I think also one ofthe reasons I was more like,
(10:05):
Okay, I can handle this.Um So, the main character is an
academic and they think they have uncoveredthe body of an early man because the
permafrost is melting because of global warming, which is real. Global warming is
real. Everyone they she is goingon a dig to see if they can
(10:28):
do more research on this basically whatthey think is a frozen early man.
You find out along the way thatit is not of a frozen early man.
It is it's a chichinya that haspassed. Sadly, you realize that
there are their listill living in thearea. In her travel to Siberia,
gets separated from the people that aredoing the dig and is saved by a
(10:54):
living chichinia And we're gonna go withArtium artium um aart iom and she is
just as somebody who has been studyingthis for like her attire academic career.
She is just delighted to meet him, to realize that he exists and that
(11:15):
they are not extinct. That andso things with them get spicy pretty quickly
because she is she has gone toSiberia looking for these creatures and was hoping
to inspect like long since passed,and to realize that there's someone alive that
she can communicate with um in Russianis just she's just super pumped about it.
(11:43):
They do have their own version ofFaded Mates, which a lot of
the words are in Russian and I'mand the author Marilyn Barr said she would
help guide me through, and Iwas like, you know what, I'm
just gonna say, it's in Russian, but it was really sweet. The
way they claim their woman when theyside that they want to like be mates
is through chasing, which, ifyou're new to this podcast, chasing is
(12:07):
one of my favorite things. Iwas a fan. I was a big
fan of this. It is justout has barely any reviews right now because
it just came out, So Iwould recommend the Chechnya is still a little
on the monkey side for me,but I still devoured this book in like
a day and a half and Ienjoyed it. I don't know if yeedies
(12:28):
or something I will add to myrepertoire, but I did enjoy it.
Fice level two three alrighty Jersey,Yes, rock paper scissors, alright,
ready, rock paper scissors? Yeah? Oh no, all right again,
rock paper scissors. Yeah, Okay, I guess I go all right,
(12:52):
So I guess I won. Soum so the book that I chose this
month is um Amber Goes Yetty,and it's book three of four of the
Jewels. It's Silver Springs is likea multi serious thing with different characters,
and this is like Amber and theJewels Cafe, and that's what this like
(13:16):
four book series is about. Idon't know if there's going to be more
or not. And it's all byMeo Harlan and it was actually a originally
part of a reverse hair anthology calledSnowmen, and it's not available anymore unfortunately.
But what's cool about this book isthat it takes place in this town
(13:39):
coast called Silver Springs, and ithas to do with Amber, who has
this weird chameleon shifting ability. NowI didn't read the first two books,
so I was still okay. Iwasn't lost, so I was able to
pick up on everything, but Iknow that there's like some pieces that I'm
missing, But she's shifting ability.And then her three mates are Julian,
(14:03):
who is this witch who just likehis magic is awry all the time,
just slapstick off the deep bend um. And then there's Chase and West who
just like round those two. SoAmber and Julian are the ones causing the
shit storm. Chase and West arethe ones that like, no, no,
(14:24):
dear, come here, come backdown to her. Okay. Um,
So what'school is two is this booktakes place from multiple points of view,
which is nice, nice, Andit's only about sixty six pages so
it's really short, very sweet.Um. It's a Winter Winter a little
(14:45):
novella, which is nice. Um. It takes place in the Jewels Cafe.
They're getting ready for midwinter festival.Julian, his senses magic is so
out of control. He decides he'sgoing to make cozy cocos to warm everybody
yep, because their thermostat is goingaround. He makes said cocoas, and
then nanigans start occurring, and ayetti shows up. And since Amber has
(15:11):
this uncontrollable shifting ability where she shiftsinto beings that are around her and she
doesn't know when or how, itjust just happens, she turns into a
yetti and then every time she getscold, it turns into a yetti to
get warm again. So you cansee how this would be like randomly turns
(15:31):
into a yetti could be a problemwhen you're planning a festival. A little
She's just a little bit. She'svery insecure about her shifting all the time
and how it affects her mates,because she's afraid that they're going to stop
loving her for shifting all the time. Especially when she turns into a Yetti.
(15:54):
That's like she's just like, I'mno, this is not fun.
Can't I be a druid instead?Yeah, and like her, her reaction
to turning into a Yetti and thenher mate's reaction into saying her as a
Yetti are just hilarious. It's great. And then of course Jetti have urges
(16:19):
like most beings would, so ofcourse there's some smashing. It wraps up
very nicely. It's a very short, sweet rom come and I actually want
to go back and read the firsttwo books. So yeah, okay,
y good. What rating would yougive this one? I'd probably give it
(16:40):
like a three and a half.Like I wish it was longer, totally
fair, totally fair. Okay,I wish there was more spice, but
then I always wish for more spice, which is why you end up rating
the Orca. Yeah, yeah,the Alcove scene and then also um three
chapters of getting eaten out. Yeah, maybe we should call it the orc
(17:04):
Karma Sutra. Yeah, Comma noper Karma Sutra, not Karma Sutra.
Karma Sutra. Yes, love thatis getting published, by the way.
Yeah, any updates on Ruger's Pearl, it's so awful? Um yes,
(17:27):
yes, actually um uh next Friday. Yeah, as as long as everything
goes smoothly next Friday, because weare recording right now in the fourteenth would
be the twenty first, which meansthat the time that this this podcast comes
(17:48):
out, Ruger's Pearl will be availableto be out, should be out.
I know that you both will screamat me if it's not so, and
I'm as you're aware. That's theimportant thing I have. This sounds so
weird and so wrong at the sametime. Completion anxiety with projects, not
(18:11):
with yeah times with just with projects, because you're gonna have completion anxiety.
Okay, if you're gonna have completionanxiety, I would rather have it with
projects than fun times. I mean, honestly looked true. Yeah yeah uh.
The good news is is that it'salready pretty much all edited and pretty
(18:33):
much all formatedited. So um theformatted I'm sorry me words for Brad I
um. If you are new tothis podcast. Um Ruger's Pearl is the
first book in Um Carlotta's Orc Matchseries. There is a prequel out currently
(18:57):
called Thorn Stuff, which is isamazing and was one of my good introductions
two orcs and now I'm fucking obsessedwith Orcs and obsessed with fucking orcs.
So the reason why we are pushingher so hard to get this out is
that we have both read, betaread and edited this book and it needs
to beginning. Yeah, it needsWe need a physical copy now, ma'am.
(19:21):
So, Um, we are stronglyencouraging Carlotta to get this out into
the world. Um, we are, Carlotta. Have we decided that we're
calling it high fantasy erotica. Sure, she's blushing, look at her.
She's horrible. Um so you tetica. That works. But it's also sci
(19:44):
fi, which is a problem.Is five genres in one just calls but
it's awesome. Call it historical fictionand see what happens. It is not
that you totally would have called Thorn'sDove historical fiction. Technically, yeah,
because it happened in the seventies exactly. It's it's history at this point,
(20:11):
back when Roe V. Wade wasstill law. Yeah, yeah, oh,
I love I love that. Theonly one star review I have on
my book so far was posted onSeptember eleventh, and it was because the
(20:32):
book was too political. I readthese books to get away from this type
of thing in the real world.And I'm like, excuse you, do
you not understand that science fiction andfantasy are generally progressive. Star Trek hello,
anyway, it's so much Star Trek. Star Trek the first kiss between
(20:52):
an African American and yeah, uhhuh. I don't even like Star Trek.
And I know that. I mean, I don't dislike Star Trek.
I just don't know things. Okay, I'm very small, That's okay.
Star Trek had a lot of majorTV first, and that was one of
the big big ones. Yeah.And science fiction has always been really progressive.
(21:14):
I mean yes, and if itwasn't for a woman, it never
would have been made. Yeah.No, I thought it was Lucy Ball.
Lucy Wall was like the executive placepushed. Yes, sorry, I
was thinking about the genre. No, although that too. Yeah, yeah,
(21:38):
I'm talking about Star Trek itself,not the genre. Anything you can
do, I can do bleeding whatum So women are awesome. Just say
now I need to look this upwhile we're talking. Okay, Okay,
Jersey, you go and I willfind out who wrote the first time fiction
(22:00):
novel. What wasn't the first one? The Frankenstein. It was Frankenstein written
by Mary Shelley. It's not avery good book. I hate Frankenstein.
But yes, but more of likebut that's more like. Oh no,
it is si fi. Yeah,but yeah, but like a space Odyssey
one. Oh. I don't knowthat one's more monster unless I'm thinking more
(22:22):
like. I would have mean sheshe was a woman that first wrote alien.
Fucking Wait, doesn't the monster havesex with a woman? Did I
imagine that? Or did I justhope for that? I should have seen
the signs. No, I don'tknow. Well, I mean in some
(22:44):
of the adaptations, Yes, someof the adaptations. Yes, it is
Frankenstein's wife. I mean, I'veseen young Frankenstein. My God, that
one's funny. I've seen I sawa thank you, she sees something,
Carlotta. I saw it in highschool. I bet you my teacher got
in trouble for showing it to us. A teacher would get in trouble for
(23:07):
showing it now I doubt they gotin trouble back then. As someone who
teaches criminal justice, you would besurprised. Did I get away with I
don't know. It's America, mI just have them sign a waiver,
and I put it like on thethird page, like your kids will be
watching reading our movies, and it'son the third page of the syllabus.
(23:29):
None of them ever read it.They sign it off, and I'm like,
not legally liable. So I hadone teacher unintentionally, okay, So
she purposely turned on the movie TommyBoy as a fun thing for us to
watch because Tommy the pinball Wizard.No, no, not at all.
(23:56):
I don't even know what the hellthat is. But I can tell you,
no, don't watch it. Iwon't look it up. So tell
me. Boy was an eighties movieand funny but so not appropriate to show
to high schoolers in school. Andshe hadn't seen it in years, and
(24:17):
all she knew was it was oneof her favorites growing up. And we
made it like twenty minutes into themovie and there's only eight of us in
the room and we're all dying,and she's like, I have to turn
this off. I'm going to getin trouble like already what already happened?
It's already happened. Yeah. Sothe book that I read this month was
(24:41):
yet Yield Tied by Francesca Rose.It is technically book two in a series,
or at least a couple of there'sjust the two of them out so
far. The first one was Yettyin the Mist. I did not read
that one. I did not knowthat was a thing until after I read
this one. This one is aregency romance. It's adorably funny in my
(25:02):
opinion that Jane is our female maincharacter. She is doing her best to
run away from an abusive husband andregency times, she's basically his property,
so she's doing everything she can tohide, and she needs a job.
(25:22):
She needs money in order to surviveaway from him and away from her craziest
uncle who basically sold her to him. And she ends up being a bookkeeper
for a woman who owns two pleasurehouses, one specifically for the women who
would need to be cured of theirhysteria, and then one for the bed.
(25:45):
Shall we get into the history ofhysteria. Let's talk about hysteria.
Yes, you might actually be ableto explain that one a little bit better
than I can. I'd like totalk about the history of hysteria, and
I'd also like to admit that Idon't know what a re agency romances time
period. Yeah, so I thinklike pride and prejudice timeframe. Okay,
(26:07):
okay, And that's so our executiveproducer asked me last night, and I
was like, I don't know,uh, back to you on that.
Actually, no, I'm not evenI shouldn't. I shouldn't lie. I
made something up. I was like, I think it means historical. Yeah,
basically like Jane Austen, pride andprejudice, that sort of time frame.
Okay, yeah, okay, okay, So regency yetis yeah, that's
(26:30):
wild. Yeah, We're we've gonedown a hole. We've gone down the
rabbit hole, and we're not comingout. I don't want to read rabbits
though, Sorry, okay, um, so make you okay. The history
of hysteria, very abridged version iswhen the men folk decided to take on
(26:56):
the midwifery. That would you knowthat women have had forever for women's health,
any time a woman was of aungenteel disposition had too many opinions talk
too much, I eat, agossip, or any number of things that
(27:19):
a man did not like. Shewas labeled with hysteria and kid be put
away in an asylum. So wewould all be an asylums basically. Yeah,
okay, So that basically got themout of the way, and they
just decided that they were going totry to cure this hysteria in a lot
(27:42):
of different ways. Some of themare completely barbaric. That actually there's a
movie called Stonehurst Asylum which actually coverspart of it, and it's pretty accurate,
and I I was like, holyshit, that is what this is.
But they would some of the treatmentsfor hysteria, because you know,
(28:04):
the uterus is heroin Okaine, pelvicmassages and there were there were even pamphlets
for men how to cure your wifeof hysteria by giving her a pelvic massage.
Where did those goose? Right?Like? Men? Just bring those
back? Like cheez, your wifeis cranky because you haven't fucked her and
(28:30):
give her an orgasm in like threemonths or a fucked her and left her
hanging that Yeah bastards. Yeah right, Yeah, So there's hysteria and uh.
In Paulette's pleasure palace is the onefor the women, I believe.
(28:53):
No, no, that's the onefor the men, and the one for
the women is the tea room.Oh that makes more sense, mum.
And Jane has become the bookkeeper andit's doing a very good job. And
Paulette does not want to see hergo anywhere. It's like, I trust
you, you're doing great. Let'sgo. Shopy, one of Pullet's bodyguards.
(29:18):
I guess you could say she's gotto mean once. Um. She's
got an American Sasquatch who's brown,and then she's got a Yeti who's from
the Himalayas. I believe they theYeti say it very differently. I'm not
even gonna attempt it at all.It's a him Alayas and so he's he
(29:45):
wears his suit, he just doesn'twear shoes and doesn't have anything on his
hands because the heat for him,even though we would be called in certain
parts of England, for him,it is just too bloody hot. And
Jane is doing her best to hidefrom her her husband, the Yeti.
(30:06):
I'm going to attempt to pronounce hisname properly. I don't know if I
am Milan Milan. It's m IL A N N. Milan, Milan,
Melan, Milan. I don't know, okay Man. Yeah, He
(30:29):
tries to walk her back to herher dorm. I guess she's she was
living in a home for respectable youngladies, because that was a big thing
back then, where your single,unattached women would live in these places just
for the women, and the landladies who ran them were very, very
(30:49):
strict and insane. You have tobe here by a certain time. I
will lock the door. If youdon't come back, I'm going to assume
you're doing nefarious things and you won'tbe allowed to stay. As a history
teacher can confirm this is real.Well, Jane and Milan are walking back
(31:11):
to her dorm because it's late andhe does not feel comfortable with her walking
there by herself, so he isescorting her home and a guy comes up
and says, I know you.Your husband's looking for you. Let's take
you home. She doesn't want togo home. Milan steps in the way.
(31:33):
Guy pulls out a gun and hegets shot through and through. He's
fine, but she has to takehim inside to catch him up, and
her landlady is just screaming and squealingand just all kinds of unhappy and kicks
her out, and he becomes overlyprotective after that, and she becomes overly
(31:56):
protective because you saved me. Ihave to this somehow. So she basically
becomes his nurse and has moved intothe tea room building with the rest of
the people that work there, whoall adore her, and she's she's she's
basically their jen who's the baby birdneeds to learn a few things to understand
(32:19):
the vernacular, and they're all sovery willing to help, and it's so
cute, and they all just adoreher so very much. But at one
point her husband and his thugs andhis henchmen find her at the tea room,
so she has to try and runin order to protect herself in Melan's
like, you're not going anywhere withoutme, So they go stay with his
(32:45):
cousin and his mate in the country. And yes, fun times in sue
a couple of times. This isonly seventy something pages. It's very quick,
but it's very adorable. It justthere was a whole bunch of kind
(33:08):
of moments for me. I enjoyedit quite a bit. It might not
be everybody's a cup of tea.Ha ha ha ha. But I would
give it a three to four,but there's in general on the spicy scale,
(33:28):
probably about a two to three,just because I would have preferred a
lot more detail. But that soundsadorable. It was so cute. Um,
I kind of want to read thatone, Now I didn't. I
always assumed Regency romance meant history,but I like never asked, so I
(33:49):
was like, I'll find out eventually. But just if you hear Regency,
just think Jane Austen and you're basicallyin the time, very mentally, so
you're good. Okay, okay,all right. So the last book on
the docket is Madison's Unabominable Affair.Now, this is a nice little short
it's um a little over one hundredpages. Was originally included in the Big
(34:12):
Fields Charity anthology, which was alimited run so it only ran for about
three months, and it was launchedlast year on Valentine's date. And they
were cute little romances. The tropewas size difference, so you had everything
from the Mountain's Mate, which waslike a huge giants and a human woman
(34:32):
who was dangling from his giant COCKADOODLEOand his pants while they were trying to
escape down to like, you know, not too much of a difference.
Years was in there, and Yearswas respectable, I mean, not unrespectable,
but it was a less of adifference. Yeah, it was a
(34:54):
little bit of over a foot ofa difference. Um, one was a
giant, hulking work and the otherone was just like a chubby, tall
chick. But yes. So thenice thing about charity anthologies if you guys
were not aware, especially if they'rea limited rung, that means that once
the charity is complete, then allthe rights for the stories were wrote back
(35:15):
to the authors, so they cando with those stories whatever they like.
So some people just go ahead andstraight publish the short as it was.
Some people expand upon it. Somepeople don't put them back out. For
example, for Thorne Stuff, Iexpanded it to be a sixty five thousand
word novel. Other people just putit out as is. So I know
(35:36):
that Madison. I don't know ifshe added anymore to it or not.
I can't remember, but yeah,it's very cute, it's very sweet.
So it's called an abominable affair,and we have Tapiza who is our female
main character, and she is livingin a mountain side cave with her sick
(35:59):
mother, her two younger brothers,and they have been kind of left behind
by their tribe because her her momhas been too sick to travel UM and
her mom is known for bearing thebeing this like fierce huntress and has taken
princess warrior, Princess Warrior princess.This is like almost prehistoric times. This
(36:19):
isn't like ye or like that.This is like on Earth but like a
long time ago. Yes. Yeah, So to Pisa is actually not super
great at hunting, but because hermom's sick, she has to try make
it work UM. And she islike out trying to hunt for her starving
(36:40):
family and she comes across a Jettiwho UM sees that she's kind of a
hot mess and is like, Okay, well, I'm not going to kill
her. UM. So he decidesto kind of take pity on her and
feed her and then and strikes adeal with her, Um of I will
(37:04):
help provide for your family because ifyou come back and visit me um every
full moon. And at at thatpoint it's kind of not clear like what
the visit's for it's not like andwe're gonna fuck. It's like just I
just need some company. I enjoyyour company, I am. Yeah.
Yeah, so, which is fairbecause yeties are often portrayed as like solitary
(37:27):
creatures. So the fact that especiallyyeah, so he sticks true to his
words. She sticks true to herword. Um, and um first time
she comes back. Uh, there'sno there's no sexy times, but they're
definitely like clearly attracted to each other. Yeah, there's some tension there.
(37:50):
Um. It kind of expands fromthere where every full moon she is delayed
from returning. Um, it's thesecond or third full moon, Jersie,
do you remember. I believe itwas the third full moon that she got
delayed, and it was because hermom started to get better and wanted to
(38:12):
keep her around a little bit moreand see how she was doing take care
of the boys. And so becauseof that, the Yeti comes down from
the top of his mountain to figureout where the heck are you and he
they're able to talk for a second, and she explains to him like,
I didn't want to come up themountain in case my mother understood what was
(38:37):
happening and would send the tribe laterto come kill you. I liked this
book. I enjoyed reading it,but I was kind of like, oh,
okay, we're having sex in atree right now, let's all right,
let's go. It's a tree behinda bush. Let's have some fun
over here before the toddlers and sickmom come out and find us. Yeah.
Yeah. Ultimately, to Pizza hasto make a decision as to whether
(38:57):
or not she is going to stayon the hillside with her new um yetti
friend, or if she is goingto travel back with the tribe now that
her mom as well. Some ofthe tropes, without giving away the ending,
there is a pregnancy trope. Ienjoyed this, but I will say
I wish it had like a hundredmore pages like I had. I liked
(39:20):
the characters, I liked the plot. Um, I could have done with
five more sexual I guess I needto go to Karlotta for that many more
sex scenes. Um. But ormaybe LM Drew you know yea, but
yeah, I would recommend that one. That one. I read um in
like less than an hour. UM. So it's a very quick read.
(39:44):
Yeah, and it's cute, it'ssweet, and I UM, if you
had not figured out. I preferand low angst and so um low angst
for sure. I am not oneof those people that's like I wanted to
feel it in my soul. No, I don't. Um, so you
want to feel it in your yourfeel it elsewhere? Um one handed read.
(40:07):
Yeah, so that's why I'm here. I'm not lying about it.
I have DNF books for causing metoo much anxiety. Um. There is
a there was a time where Iwas like, Carlia, if you don't
like make this happen, I'm gonnahave to DNF out of here because I'm
stressed. I had. I hadto reassure you a whole lotta be okay.
(40:30):
True, Yes, it will beokay. And then as I started
proving it to you that it wasgoing to be okay, You're like,
oh, okay, you actually keepyour word. It's gonna be okay.
Fly on the wall during those conversations, impeccable. I read to escape anxiety,
(40:51):
not to make more anxiety. Umso so yeah, I would definitely
recommend an abominable fare. Also,I did want to explain because this was
very confusing to me when I wasnew to the book world. If you
rent something on Ku and then giveit back. That is not returning a
book. I was like, ohmy god, am I committing like that?
(41:12):
Like the offense that everybody's stressed about. No, because Ku was a
library, k you you think aboutit, This is a scribed library library.
Yes, you're just by in thebook and then you return it.
It's not it's not like a financialreturn. No. And I do wish.
I really wish Ruby Dixon got moneyfor every time I reread pages of
(41:32):
her books, because she wouldn't havemade a lot of money off of me.
But uh uh, if we wantto talk about orgs, would we
like to segue into February? Wecan. I will say I am impressed
that we waited this long. Ididn't kind of jump the gun. I
wanted us to be a few inbefore we hit our one of our top
(41:57):
top tier. This is peak monthsRomance. Excited for this one. We
are feral for Orcs, and Orcsare the month of February. I have
already suggested that it might need tobe a two part episode just because of
the backlog of ORC books that Ihave consumed, UM that Carlotta has consumed,
the Jersey have consumed, UM I, off the top of my head
(42:20):
can think of six Orc books thatI have read, and I am currently
reading another one. ORCS is February. Um, we are very excited about
this. I've actually watched Yes hadto set aside an Orc book to read
my Yetti books this week. It'sa big sacrifice for you. Yeah,
I know, I know. Andit was a dom sub Orc book,
(42:45):
Catherine Moon's new Orc book. I'vewanted to read that. Yeah, uh
huh, yeah, you would likeit, f like yeah. And then
author kl Wyatt is coming out withher first book. She is big on
TikTok. If you don't know whoshe is, I don't know what the
title is, but it's her name'sKale Wyatt, and it is. I
(43:07):
think it's a dark Orc romance andit's like they're on the cover, they're
like in the snow, and I'mjust like I thought it came out yesterday
and was pissed to discover it comesout next week. Comes out the twenty
fourth of January, I believe,And I'm very excited to read that one.
Um, it looks really good andshe's already got some I always fumble
(43:29):
with this ns fw art. She'snot safe for work. Yeah, I
mean I know what it stands for, but I always get the letters mixed
up. It's like she's already gotsome of that on her TikTok and Instagram
teasing I'm ready, so whenever you'reready, Kale. What here? There's
another one? The Orc Boss byLark Green is a monster mafia romance.
(43:54):
Ah. Yes, I have beenlooking forward to that one. Kidnapping of
can be niance, one bed,high heat, slow burn, um,
alley Way sex, Alley Way sex, I'm so I want Alley Way sex?
Um you yet? Orcos mafia romance. I mean, although kidnapping of
(44:15):
convenience? What is a kidnapping ofconvenience? But look at the chest?
I know? Yeah, okay,so this is how but I love it.
She also has been posting about howshe wants to be a guest on
a podcast. So oh um,so maybe not this month or our ORC
(44:37):
month because I feel like our Orcmonth is gonna go sideways. Um,
there's gonna be so much content fornext month. A lot of content,
yeah, a lot of stuffing.Yeah, what did we decide? What
is it? Uh? It's fantastic, fantastic, Yes, it was utterly
(44:57):
fantastic and we're stop. And that'snot even talking about who's like kind of
the unofficial like or the starter ofthe orcs, which is Fendley Finn.
Yeah. Um, so we'll definitelybe discussing uh Findley fin. Um.
So that is our February plan isorcs. Um. If we haven't made
(45:19):
you drool for orcs um, we'renot doing our job appropriately. Yeah.
But if you're going to start withan orc, if you're going to start
with an orc, I would startwith thorn stuff. Um, that's a
good one to start with. Yes, yeah, yeah, it's Plata,
but yeah, it's it really isa good book to start with if you
just kind of want to ease yourway in to the Orca. Carlotta is
(45:45):
really really good at describing on howto ease your way in, Like there's
a lot of really lot she isshe makes sure it fits. And that's
that is. We haven't even addressedthe my favorite book of all time,
which is Half Works Made in Brideby Ruby Dixon. I have read it
more times than is um probably mentallysafe for me. Um. So we
(46:08):
will be discussing that in minute detail. Yea, my nute. So why
do we love monsters. Find outon our little video episode Why Monsters,
(46:29):
Why Monsters, if we haven't madeit clear that was January, that was
January was Yetis. And I willsay it was harder to find Yetis than
we anticipated, which I think iskind of funny since people go looking for
Yetis and never find them. Um. So, um, we are already
we We've said orcs are next month. We we have months lined up,
(46:52):
but we're already in talks about,um what's to come. I'm pushing hard
for winged beings, um because Ihave some in mind. Yes, so,
but we are also open to ifyou have an out of left field
UM idea that you think maybe wehaven't thought of. We probably have because
we've gone down many rabbit holes.Um. I mean we've looked at the
(47:12):
Potato Shifter book. We know thatsquirrel, the bear in the squirrel Yeah,
call me pars Farah Valentine's Balloon Shifters. Yeah we um and squeal uh
okay. So um, thank youfor joining us for January next month will
(47:37):
be orcs and um next month we'llalso be putting out a mini episode UM
on why Monsters. So all right, thank you for joining US and trash
Cats Out, trash Cats, hashcats Out,
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