Episode 5 - Orcs: An Obsession - Smut Tea Stories

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Buckle up, Buttercup, there's fuckeryto discuss. A writer, an editor,
and a reader walk into an indiebookstore and start an unhinged indie monster
an alien smut podcast, because whythe fuck not? Hello, Welcome to
our what is this the fifth episodeof our podcasts Muddy Stories where we talk

(00:23):
about all sorts of monsters and smut. And this month, February, it's
a very special month because we're talkingabout our favorite monster. We put this
off for a long time instead ofgetting way too excited at the very beginning.
It's Orcs. It's orcs. Sowelcome and we have a lot of
books to share with you guys.If you've noticed our posts on Instagram and

(00:47):
social media where we have listed andpresented a bunch of orcs for your reading
pleasure, with a bunch of differentauthors, and we've got a whole lot
of works for you today. Yeah, let's first, let's start off with
why we love orcs. What isit that you love the most about orcs?

(01:08):
Jen? Okay, so orcs comewith like you got a variety of
works, but generally you got yougot a size difference. For sure,
any ORC is going to be atleast six five, So which big fan.
Um Yeah, I tend to likemy aliens or mythical creatures to be

(01:32):
more on the humanoid side, andorcs definitely are. They're not like like
a spider or a bear, umum um. I like there. So
there's there's a bunch of tropes ortraits that a lot of orcs stare.
There's a breeding kink that tends tobe uh there, which we know I'm

(01:52):
a big fan of. It's moreon the primal side, which we know
I'm a big fan of. Iactually even like the tusks. I don't.
I don't know what they work forme. What other commonalities do we
have amongst orcs that they tend tobe a little bit they tend to be
aggressive, which I'm this film islike what is gen into? Let's just

(02:15):
list it all. Sorry. Thereason why I keep laughing because you said
bears immediately thought about the crimply shifterand the squirrel shifter. It just keeps
coming back. So So, Imean, I know that there are people
that are really into like like thespiders or the robots or whatever, but

(02:38):
I tend to really like my aliensor magical creatures to be closely more humanoid.
I want them to be bigger andbetter. Which orcs are I mean,
or send to be a lot morebuff considering um, they tend to
be. I mean, the differenttypes of societies vary, but definitely like

(02:59):
size difference. Like you said,there's a lot more of a dom sub
dynamic. Yeah, so it worksgenerally being more domb and Um. There's
also very much to touch her andour him and die vibes or they touch
them and die, which I am. I love that. I love that,

(03:21):
and also being somebody who is sixfoot one and not exactly skinny and
knowing that this creature could pick meup, throw me over their shoulder and
just go like it's nothing. Okay, I'm good with that. Yeah,
it's like, oh, it's whatis this Viking time? Are you gonna

(03:42):
page my village? Okay? Whohas anybody written Viking works? You are,
ma'am. That's what you're doing.I am doing that. I'm not.
I don't know that's what you're doing. I really Scottish shirt Norse.

(04:02):
I am writing Viking orcs. We'llget to that in a little bit,
Yes, we will in a littlebit. So, um, I take
it. We we're all pretty much, in the words of our executive producer,
like aching for a porking by anorc. Yeah yeah, yeah,
yeah, for sure, absolutely smashtotally. Yes, yeah, I know

(04:24):
it works. Are pretty popular rightnow, sir. Gargoyles, but more
popular than Gargoyles, I think inthe moment, like there's they are out.
Yeah, yeah, there's definitely moreum orc content available than gargoyle content.
But I can tell you that thecommonality of anybody that loves the Gargoyles

(04:44):
watched the cartoon as a kid.Yeah, yeah, he was hot.
I don't even know what it wascalled. He called Gargoyles. It was
called Gargoyles. Yeah, he's hot. Yeah, I know. I said
something like that at work the otherday and people looked at me. Oh,
I said, the fox Um fromRobin Hood is hot because he is,
because he is. And they lookedat me like, what the fuck

(05:06):
is wrong with you? And Iwas like, no, they should not
draw those animals that way, okay, because I had a weird thing for
what was his name, Kovu fromLion King too. Yeah, that's a
scar like dark right, well,stars like stars scar sun, isn't he?

(05:27):
But I think he got kind ofadopted by a Scar. I don't
think he was officially Scar Sun.Okay, I mean you add he's a
lion and he's got Jeremy Iron's voice. I mean, I'm married to a
bread There's no way I'm fucked.Like, thank you, Scar, I
don't know. Yeah, so it'skind of like the Sludge Monster by Tim

(05:49):
Curry. Yes, what was hisname? Ferngoli was the first movie I
saw in the theaters and I fellasleep. I was fine, well you
were five, Oh you're fine,Okay, fine, you're fine. I
had I had a bizarre obsession withthat movie. Yeah, Batty, I

(06:09):
watched that movie like last year orso, and Bryson looked at me.
It's like, you do know they'repushing an agenda, right, no shit,
dip wad. Let me enjoy mynostalgia goal. It's anti deforestation.
What's wrong? Say it at theend the credits. I know what they're
pushing. Let me enjoy the weirdbat thank you. It's like Wally.

(06:32):
Have you ever seen Wally. It'slike such a commentary on a society,
like, oh, yeah, well, most a lot of kids movies are
Yeah, I mean they're getting better, like, uh, this most recent
one was about like acceptance of yourbody, like let's go there. Um

(06:53):
uh, it's either seeing red orraised. I think it's seeing red and
she gets her period. Oh no, that's wasn't it just called turning red?
Turning red? Yeah? Period?Yeah, that one was funny.
I identify with that a little hardthough, because of the relationship with the
mom. I haven't seen it.I know my girls have seen it,

(07:14):
I because they have Disney Plus ontheir tablets. I haven't seen it.
But it's adorable. It is good. It's adorable. I think you guys
would enjoy it. It's it's it'sfunny. Yeah. So, um,
we were supposed to talk about orcs. Yes, yeah, yeah, Okay
back, so Carlotta, what aresome of the things that are like kind

(07:36):
of standard for an orc? Okay, so standard for an orc is definitely
tend to be on the larger side. It's especially with height, definitely muscular,
muscular. In nature, there's tusksnormally, especially like if you know
World of Warcraft, the tusks area big thing. Um, there are

(07:58):
They usually they have like green orgrayish green skin, although that is broadening,
and they usually aggressive in nature,they have more of a dominant society
where it's warlike and power hungry andthings like that. Actually, the origination
of Orc, there's an instance ofit in the Cleopatrick Glossaries by Thomas Wright

(08:26):
from the tenth century, and thenalso it was put once in Baowolf,
so it's from a very long timeago in a world far away but so
close. They're also pretty heavy inD and D. Like oh yeah.

(08:46):
Like in terms of like media andeverything, it's movies, especially Tolkien's works,
there's video games, tabletop games likeD and D. It's prevalent everywhere
because it makes a really good typeof warring people that sometimes are utilized,

(09:11):
which is fucked up, but utilizedas like a blanket evil. Yeah,
so we were talking about I thoughtmy first introduction to orcs was the ones
from Tolkien, which the pure,very slimy, and I'm realizing as we're
having this conversation that it was Dungeonsand Dragons that was my first introduction to
orcs because I played Dungeons and Dragonsas a teenager. There were or I

(09:33):
was always a druid because I meanobviously, but there were orcs. Yeah,
So the actually in Tolkien's works.The what's funny is the Orcs,
the Goblins, and the Urukai areall the same thing. There's just three
different words for the same kind ofbeastie, which is funny in the movie

(09:54):
because so different. They all lookdifferent, right, The Orcs rain like
Chen said, are a little bitmore slightly the Urakai or the big leg
buff ones, and then the goblinsare like smaller and you know that they're
just except for that, like theor King, like that was a that
was a hefty boy. That wasa big boy. He was a chunky

(10:16):
boy. Yeah, Goblin King,I'm sorry, Goblin. I'm pretty sure
it's Goblin King. The neck onhim always just kind of that goiter.
It was the gaiter. Yeah,I'm just gonna pretend that I've seen all
of these movies. Don't tell anybodywe didn't finish watching any far enough along
in the Hobbits for you didn't seethat. It just so everybody knows.

(10:39):
The time came up to meet meand hang out, and I started trying
to like bring her into the worldof Tolkien, and we just ended up
talking and drinking. So that's fine, there's nothing wrong with that. But
we do need to fix the factthat she hasn't seen this. Yes it's
yet. Yeah, woman, I'msorry, you've got I've got books where

(11:00):
orcs are banging, or I canwatch Tolkien like that's there's a clear decision
there for me. I don't know. Well, you also haven't seen the
Outo Kai yet, so true,it's you're not making it sound very appealing.
They're tall and very big. There'sa couple of them that I can
me personally not much, but Ican fully understand why somebody would be writing

(11:24):
a whole bunch of fan fiction.I think that's where a lot of us
started going down the route of fanfiction in terms of Okay, okay,
because the Outo Kai it's like definitelybig, tall, growling and buff.
So because what I've seen of Tolkien, I just remember the Orlando Bloom character,
and he was too too pretty forme. He was he was an

(11:48):
elf, That's why he was anoff. Yeah. Alves are usually just
overly pretty live Tyler was an ILF. So yeah, she was very nice
looking. She's gorgeous, a gorgeouswoman. Yes, ethereal would be the
word I do. I'm not lookingfor an ethereal man, I'm looking for

(12:09):
a man to haul me off tohis She looks so proud right now that
we do that. Well, there'sthat, but there's also part like,
not only is it like the outokay, but like I love me some
dwarves, I just do. Yes. Yes, uh them thick boys?
Yes, absolutely, Yes, theywere funny, aren't they? Like three

(12:31):
feet tall? Though? And nothey're tall, They're like more like four
or five feet. I think yeah, that was like five it. I
think they were like three feet.Yeah, four feet is like the halflings.
Yeah. Sorry, we're a littlebit too in depth in the world
of Tolkien while we're trying to Weare ok to talk about Tolkien in a

(12:54):
minisote or something later. Okay,so let's talk about everybody's first orcs.
Okay, Jenny, we're kind oftalking about yours. Yeah, sure,
sure. So my first orc isby one of my favorite authors, and
I actually have her right here.Uh. It is thorn Stuff. Um.
This would be by Carlotta Hughes ifyou've ever heard of her. Um.

(13:18):
So, for those of you thatare listening to us, we are
all holding up our copy of thornStuff. Thorn Stuff is Carlotta's first book
in her Orc Max Matched series.It's a point five if you want to
get technical m and I was initiallyopposed to this because it starts off on
planet Earth and the majority of thebook is on planet Earth, and we

(13:39):
know how I feel about Planet Ears. That kind of fucking sucks. I
didn't want to give it a try, but I Carlotta said, you know
what's sexy Scottish based orcs, andI was like, well, okay,
then, so that was my firstorc U. It's also my first nodding.
Definitely not my first nodding, butI'm pretty sure my first Orc was

(14:01):
also Thorn, and I was justhappy to help a friend get her book
done, and I Thorn's awesome.I mean, what can I say?
Thank you? And for those ofyou listening, Carlotta is just blushing and
confused to sell as to what todo with their face. Yeah. So
my first Orcs, other than beinglike Tolkien and stuff um, were Pierce

(14:26):
Anthony because I started reading those whenI was like eleven twelve, and then
also a trilogy by Morgan Howell calledQueen of the Orcs. It was not
a series that I liked. Theending of I was very very put out,
and it put me off of worksfor a very long time. I
forgot they existed actually until I,you know, relatively recently. So okay,

(14:48):
we're glad that you rediscovered them,Darling. Actually it was because thank
you Finny Fen all right, SoI think we have Jersey ups first with
her book. Which Orc book didyou choose? Of the multiple? Well?
I I read three just this week, so um, I got it.

(15:09):
It was stressful this week and Ineeded to escape and I did.
It was wonderful. I so Idid. I read three of them.
I got Cupcakes from my Orc Enemyby Honey Phillips, which, well,
was it good? Yea, Iwill say I will say this quickly because
we've been talking about Honey Phillips alot lately, so I'll say this bit

(15:30):
quickly and then move on to theother two more in depth. It was
really cute. You gotta read it? Do it? Do you have to
read the Do you have to readthe Energy first? You don't. It's
very understandable to be it's it's it'sa good standalone. If you want to
read the other which I haven't yet, go for it. But this is
really cute. It's a human coffeeshop owner and an orc baker who share

(15:54):
a wall for their businesses, andhe's not happy about it. It's adorable
it she smells pretty like he's usedto being a loner, and she unintentionally
almost sets to the building on firewhen they first meet. Oh yeah,
that'll do this girl. Yeah,yep, he's not too he's not too

(16:17):
thrilled about the fact that she movedinto the building because he wanted to expand
his business into where she is at. Now, yeah, it's you read
it. It's good, it's cute. So the second book that I read
the ORCS Faded Mate by Elizabeth Austin. I enjoyed this. I don't remember
how many pages those um almost twohundred. I think for me quick read,

(16:41):
but other people might take a littlebit longer. Whatever. Totally up
to you as to your speed foreverything. The two main characters are the
woman, the human Madeline Jane,which I just kept thinking Mary Jane the
entire time because that's where my braingoes. Yeahm um. And then rysor

(17:03):
b R I z o R isthe chief of his clan. He lives
in a kind of a shielded realm. I guess is a good way to
put it. There are barriers andwalls put up thanks to the faith to
keep humans out and keep them kindof protected because there's ogres and everything that

(17:23):
are trying things that are trying tokill you and the orcs. Their job
is to keep that population down andto keep them away from going into the
human realm. But on occasion ahuman will slip through, and that's Madeline
Jane. Madeline Jane was going downthe road with her fiance and they were

(17:44):
trying to go away for a weekendor something to connect again because he had
been cheating with one of his withone of his students, I think college
professor, no growing the whole name, and yeah, trash human. Why

(18:07):
do we love work so much?Yes? If if the guy is human,
he's usually garbage. So as they'redriving, his phone went off,
she saw and it was a notso appropriate picture of the girl he'd been
cheating with. And I miss havingyou in bed with me or something like
that. So she told him topull over, and she got the fuck

(18:30):
out. She just barrel rolled outof the car. That's what I would
do. She had barrel roll.She she screamed at him to stop the
car and she just started walking andhe's hollering back at her to get back
in the car, and she doesn't. She wanders into the woods and accidentally
crosses over. Yes, I wantto read this one with yes next,
yes, yeah, like and thatonce again. This is one of the

(18:55):
issues with a lot of Orc booksthat I have read, or hey,
like anything that has to do withfade and mates. There are more males
than there are females. This isthe current problem of the realm for the
Orcs, is that there are moremales and females, so they have to
travel around to the different clans tosee if, Hey, are you my

(19:15):
mate because I'm loring um. Shewanders through and accidentally finds the chief's younger
brother but naked and bathing, andhe picks her up and takes her to
his brother's huts, like she's alreadyhere. I don't think so even if

(19:42):
so okay, okay, yeah,they're very okay with nakedness. They were.
Um. He was part of agroup, a hunting party, trying
to go after a certain beast.I can't remember the name of it.
It was not an ogre. Itwas something very different, unique to this
No, okay, it was again. If it was a troll, I

(20:03):
would have remembered. This one wasdifferent. I can't remember. So he
was part of a hunting party andso he had to get her one he
didn't know where the The part wasthat she crossed through at because she shouldn't
have been able to, but themagic was weakening a little bit, so
that's why she was able to.And he also knew it was like,
okay, one, I need tosave this girl because we're hunting these beasts.

(20:23):
There could be one anywhere. Sheactually does almost run into one.
His brother's been the chief, hasbeen a little on edge because he's getting
older. He hasn't found a mate, and he's stressed because he's got to
take care of the clip. Sohe takes this woman, who he's never

(20:45):
seen before to his brother's huts,like Hiller, send her back, fuck
or do whatever you need to,but do something. That's a good brother.
It's a good brother, the rightyea, and a character for himself.
Instead he's like bro broke out,I know, right, this is
a great brother, greatly man brysor Um. He walks into his home

(21:11):
and sees her like, nope,that's mine, that's my forever person.
Get the fuck away, which makeshis brother giggles, Okay, I'm gonna
pick on you, but okay.And she takes a little a little bit
of time to kind of adjust.But at the same time, she's like,
with what I just came from,don't care do me? Yeah?

(21:32):
All right? And with faded mates, you know, there's no che's that
really a thing? Yeah? Andand for her, you know, she
she's human, so she doesn't quitefeel the mate bond the same way,
but she understands that she feels overlystrongly for this guy. She's not sure
why. She's like, I couldjust be insanely horny because I pattish,
I've had a shit relationship for awhile. Just fuck me and all right,

(21:59):
can I I'm a controversial opinion here. This is a controversial bookish opinion.
What are my favorite tropes? Isinstall love and I don't even care?
Don't you would enjoy this? Youwould? You would enjoy this?
That's totally be up your alley.Um. And one thing I found interesting
about this Elizabeth Austin's world in thisone with the orcs is how they identify

(22:25):
that they are a mated hair thewoman gets, you know, a nice
little ring or something. The man, the male gets a gold ring at
the base of his dick. Ilove it. Here for it that never
it doesn't come off. That isthat is affixed? Is it? Is

(22:45):
it like a tattoo or an actualring. No, that's a ring.
That is a gold It's a fixedat the base, the shocking at the
top, basically a golden cock ring. That's very fancy. M Okay,
that's interesting. I'm just saying.Yeah. And he also, if I
remember right, he also got umpiercings along his which okay, I hurt

(23:11):
like hell, but he did itthere, Yeah, he did it for
the pleasure of his future make wheneverhe found her and he done did so
there you go. I have toleave and go read this book. So
if we could, um do thispodcast later would be great. There's a
there's a lot of there's a lotof fucking. You'll you'll enjoy it,

(23:33):
all right, Carlotta, Do youwant to talk about your book that you
read this month? Sure, I'dlove to. Um. I read about
five books by Finley Venton, soshe is like the grandmaster currently of orcs
and um, if I'm honest,between Ruby Dixon getting me back into reading

(23:56):
romance and Finley Fen with Orcs,I would not have written my spicy Scottish
space works soon and friendly fan,we love you. Thank you so much.
You brought the three of us trashcats together. Well yeah, amen,

(24:18):
and this wouldn't be here if itwasn't for them. Thank you.
So the books of Finny Fans thatI read were The Lady in the Orc,
The Heiress and the Orc, TheLibrarian the Orc, The Duchess in
New York, and The Midwife inthe Orc. So um, there are
more books in the series. TheMaid in the Orcs, The Governess and

(24:38):
the Orc I think just came out, and then there's The Beauty in the
Orcs, which is coming out inlike August. Plus there's like a a
short called The Sins of the Orc, I think, And then I think
there's like a couple of there's likea holiday one and then another one that
she's quite prolific on the Orc front, very prolific. But her Orcs worn

(25:00):
series takes place in a fantasy land, a fantasy world, and there is
this mountain and mountain range, soit's like the humans versus the Orcs and
there's Orc Mountain, and the insideof this mountain is basically it's like think
think Lord of the Rings with thedwarves. There's all these tunnels and rooms

(25:23):
and and everything else. It's allinterlocked and um there's everything from like there's
a walled garden area just outside there'sum armories and there's like baths and libraries
is in the mountain. Yeah,and it's it's a great like naturally defended

(25:48):
space from humunts and everything. Andbut in um. In this world Orcs,
there are no female works. Sothe way the Orcs continue on their
kind is by mating with women humanwomen. Thus the abductions happen, and
there have been a lot of warsbetween the humans and the Orcs over this.

(26:11):
The series starts off with Lady norshe is her Lord Nor is an
ass hat. He is he is, he is, He's an ass hat.
He's terrible, like throw the wholeman away. And she's one of
the reasons why I liked Lady noris because she's like tall and statuesque and

(26:34):
so is not considered a beauty byhuman standards, but but for Orc standards,
it's like, oh that's nice,but the Orc King Grimmar basically makes
a ploy because Lord Nor is hisrival and enemy, to abduct Lady Nor
and use her as a gambit.So before I get any further, there

(26:56):
are a lot of dark themes andelements within the Orcs Worn series, so
please make sure you check out triggerwarnings because there are some things that are
like, oh okay, because theOrcs are of course an aggressive by nature
and very like tribal oriented and everything, and there's some misogyny in there,

(27:17):
so just be aware. Yeah,the first book there's some exhibitionism that happens,
so so you guys are aware.It's kind of cute because it's almost
that Lady Nor kind of wins overall of these Orcs and instead of just
using her as a pawn entirely,like she gets she is like for the

(27:37):
cause, she becomes for the cause. Nice. But the one element that
is prevalent in each book is thatusually there is without the woman's consensually,
there's this sort of element of politicalmaneuvering or something without her knowing or being
explained to or anything like that.So that's like a main communic miscommunication thing

(28:03):
that happens. And I have nearlythrown the book, because I have been
very pissed off about that and I'mlike, no, why my tism says
I'm angry. But I loved Iloved all of the books. They always
end up with an agia, soit's great. Um, you get to
learn about the different characters and everything. Um, Like with The Librarian the

(28:25):
Orc, there's a a librarian andshe knows all this stuff and this Orc
keeps coming in so that's kind ofcute. And there's a whole bunch of
kinks and spice that gets explored withinthe entire series. Um. My favorite,
though, has to be Midwife inthe Orc because oh, it's so
good because the Midwest. She's justlike trying to make sure everybody's okay and

(28:49):
like keeping people from being stressed out. And there's a there's an Orc couple
and the woman is pregnant and themale Orc vote do her because she's probably
because they think he's gonna harm thebaby and he doesn't love her anymore.
Oh no, she's talking to them. I'd be like no in her in

(29:12):
her house, like no no no, no no no no no you could
you can go do the thing andit will be fine. Really, I'm
a Midwife. I know these things, and you're not going to book the
baby in the face, You're okay, would you like a diagram? They
literally go back into her bedroom andfucking break the bit or Midwife. But

(29:37):
the my favorite part though, isthe Orc is like he's very funny and
sassy and I love that in general. But he takes the midwife and they're
hiding in a tree, right andthe arcs is just like, watch this.
This is onto one of the peoplewho's looking for her, and it's
just like he's like it's writing that. They're like trying not to die laughing,

(30:03):
and I'm laughing as because that becomesa running joke. It's writing.
Um. But yeah, one ofthe things that's really big too is fluids.
The orcs come a whole. Thisis where Bucket Will Come comes from,
is from Finlay Fens books. Butyeah, yeah, yeah, Okay.
So I started the first book andI did not finish because these are

(30:30):
high angst and if you've if you'vebeen around these parts, you know I
don't I don't do high angst.I have high anxiety. So I am
so happy for the fact that FinlayFinn has like put orcs to the forefront
because there have been so many goodORC books created, but these are these
are not my cup of tea becausethey stress me out. Um, but
I know that so many people lovethem, so I am very supportive of

(30:53):
the orcland that she has created.I love her books. I'm looking forward
to reading the next couple of booksbecause I'm a little bit behind, but
I've enjoyed all of them that i'veread, so well. We can actually
so my favorite ORC book is actuallydedicated to Finlay Fine. This is Ruby
Dixon's half ORCS maiden bride, andwhen I got it, I was it

(31:18):
says for Finlay Finn, who writesthe best orcs around. Ruby Dixon is
more my speed. She writes muchlighter, much, just lower angst.
And so this we have a humanwoman who cannot find a husband because she
is significantly taller than her dad.Her dad is an ass hat and he

(31:41):
is broke and doesn't have any sortof dowry even though like he's an old
lord, they don't have any moneyanymore. So he decides to sell her
off to be married, and she'ssuper pumped about it because all she's ever
wanted is to be married and Rubyactually talks about this in the in the
afterword, about how she wanted awoman that just liked womanly things and that

(32:05):
was okay, like she didn't haveto be like, I'm not like other
girls. She's like, I likesewing, fuck you and palyptic life skill,
excuse you, stabbings a million times, and nobody questions. So you
know, they're traveling to meet herhusband that she's been sold to, and

(32:27):
she just wants him to be likea kind, handsome man, and she
wants him to be tall, andthat's all she wants. But she has
no idea what she's getting into.And she gets there and he's yeah,
and her her father has sold herto a half orc that has bought an
old manor house and needs a ladyto like legitimize his claim, even though

(32:51):
he's bought it fair and square,like orcs are treated kind of like shit
in this world because they're orcs.She's stunned when she meets him that her
her dad has sold her to anorc. Her dad has told her like,
I won't be able to pay ourservants, I won't be able to
pay anybody on our land if youdon't go through with this and so she's

(33:12):
like, okay, like all right, she yeah, he's such a I
want to want to punch him somany he gets he gets worse. But
so she asks if she can havea minute alone with Um with her new
or husband, to talk to himbefore the selling off happens. And what

(33:32):
she's worried about is that he's goingto see her and see that she's tall
and um not like willowy, andbe not interested in in it at all,
And so she wants to talk tohim alone and be like, hey,
like this has to happen. Whatturns out this is probably one of
the reasons I love this book somuch. Is Um she's thirty and has
no idea how sex works at all, Like she's got nothing like nothing like

(34:00):
it's never seen a penis, never, And in their first meeting together,
he's like she asks if she cansee him, because you know, she
doesn't know what she's getting into.She sees his erect penis and asks if
she can touch it, and sheshe pets it like a puppy is how
Ruby describes it. And she's like, oh, it's so soft, and

(34:21):
he's like, I can assure youit's not. And then and then after
they're like oh, she's like,okay, I'll do this, like like
I'm interested. He seems kind likeeven though he's having She gets out of
the room and her dad's taken themoney and fucked off and said, well,
you're you're his problem now. Wow, greck bro not literally doesn't deserve

(34:49):
it. Agricore. I think that'show his name is pronounced. You know,
I'm not good at those kind ofthings. Is going to insist on
a traditional marriage ceremony, so everybodyin the town like believes that he's married
this lady, which there's three steps. There's the revealing of the bride,
there's the tasting of the bride,and I forget what the third one is,

(35:13):
but um, the revealing of theride is where she has to like
come before his entire clan and takeoff her clothes and so he gets to
see like that she's pleasing to him. And then the tasting of the bride,
she's really worried he's gonna eat herprobably um, and it has to
be done with um with like asteward watching over to make sure that like

(35:35):
she's happy. It's a female steward. But she just like sits in the
corner, is drunk, um,and it's just it's sweet, it's spicy,
it's funny. And then like halfwaythrough, the Orc's dad shows up
and it was like, no,you have to marry her in the orc
tradition as well, which is chasingher through the woods, and and so
he's like, I think so complicated. So and the whole time time she's

(36:00):
just like this is great, Likenobody told me this is what sex was,
Like can we keep doing this?And like like sneak away and like,
um, she's just so sex positiveand so like like I want to
try everything, like can we stophaving all of these ceremonies please? And
and that's um, I'll stop therebecause you should read it. And I've

(36:22):
read this book. Um. Iwill not admit to how many times.
Um. But this is definitely acomfort read. I can read it in
an evening if I'm stressed out,It'll be like it's time for half works.
Maiden Bride definitely definitely one of myfavorite work books. Awesome, Awesome,
It's hilarious. Oh when he triesto explain oral sex to her and

(36:47):
he's like he takes her hand andhe licks it and he like licks her
knuckles and he's like, that's whatI'm gonna do. And she's never she's
never had an orgasm, she's neverseen she's never seen anybody have sex.
She she all she's ever seen ishorses, and so she thinks that's how
it's going to happen. And sowanted to Yeah, yeah, so,

(37:10):
and then for their first time endsup being in a cave because of the
chasing um, which I'm a bigfan of obviously it's really good. Yeah,
she is one of the worst kindsof late bloomers. My goodness,
poor thing, I know, buthey, she has positive experiences, that's
the important thing. And he's sokind and like he's she's never kissed,

(37:34):
she's never and he's like so kindand so infatuated with her and thinks she's
beautiful because even though she's tall,he's like, you're you're tall and you're
muscular. And she takes this likeabandoned manor house and she cleans it,
like she gets a staff and likemakes real food come out of the kitchen.
She's like a she wants to bethat, and that's in at the

(37:57):
end, Rubies, Like I wantedto write a character that's what they wanted.
It's yeah, there's a reason.It's a comfort read. I love
that. I like it. Ilove Yeah, that's great. That's great.
So there is another author that writesorcs that she is newer to writing
orcs. She just started putting outworks this fall, and that's Zoe Ashwood,
and she writes the Black Black BearClan series. Um, and there's
three that are out so far.I have arc read all all three of

(38:21):
them, and um, they're verylight and quick, um and spicy.
I enjoy them a heck of alot. They do have very similar vibes
to Um a Half orcs Maiden Bride, but it's the Orcs rescue human women
that are either like down on theirluck or um are not being taken care

(38:42):
of by the human men in theirlife. And then there's faded mates in
situation obviously, and so each eachwoman is a faded mate of the Orcs.
And I really want her to expandon the series. I like it
so far, but I would loveto see like more of the world,
like I've only feel like I've gottenglimpses of it. So she said she
was only doing three, but thenI've been like messaging her and she's like,

(39:05):
no, there's more, and I'mlike, okay, good because I'm
here for this. So if youneed a good light place to start,
these are definitely light. They're notThey're not Finley Finn to start with orcs,
I would definitely recommend the Black LayerClan by Zoe Ashwood. Um.
I like those a lot, andthose are like a reed in an afternoon
spicy ork situation. Hi everybody,my name is Carlotta Hughes and I write

(39:28):
about spicy Scottish nice arts. Yayum. This was originally thorn Stuff is the
prequel UM. I had originally startedwriting Ruger's Pearl like about a year and
a half ago, and I stoppedbecause my writing group that I was in,
the Degenerate Syndicate, we decided wewere going to do an anthology,

(39:52):
so I called it was called BigFields. It was a charity anthology.
All the proceeds went to water dotorgs for clean water. I wrote Thorne
Stuff for that because I figured thereshould be a prequel with some intro stuff
as to how the cell works.And then once the rights reverted, I
expanded it to be a full sixtyfive thousand worked offul and it deals with

(40:15):
Thorne, who is actually an Orcprince of the clan Octalore, on a
planet called Tellum, which is acrossthe universe, and they have these massive
trees called Coronabella, which are theyhave wings, and there's portals on the
inside of them that will connect toanother portal elsewhere in the universe. So

(40:37):
he goes through one. All thegates were supposed to be broken. When
he manages to go through this one, he gets washed. Ashore Ruth is
ex hippie from she used to bein a commune, had a really rough
time of it, like the FBIrated the commune, and so she got

(40:57):
herself clean and she fortunately needed anabortion. And that was something that I
wanted to talk about it in thisyear nineteen seventy three. So this is
just post Roe v. Wade andgetting passed because Roe v. Wade was
repealed last year. I wanted totalk about it and write it in a
very respectful and sensitive manner. SoI because I know people who have needed

(41:23):
to get them for various reasons,and I wanted to honor that experience.
There was that and she Ruth findshad okay. Her parents died. They
died in a car crash. Shegot her whole inheritance, and she threw
everything into a coastal farm that wasdilapidated on the California coast north of San

(41:44):
Francisco, and decided she was goingto create a Tolkien bed and Breakfast with
Hobbit whole little rooms, little spaces. So she's starting this, she's like,
oh shit, this is a lotmore than I thought it was going
to be. And Thorn washed upon her beach basically nurses him back to
health, makes the connection that,oh, this is probably an Orc because

(42:06):
Tolkien, well done. Yeah,And then the rest of the book is
just about how she's trying to createthis bed and breakfast. Thorn helps her
because on his planet, Orcs willbasically builds their mate to home to have
a family in, and so heknows how to build things, so he

(42:27):
helps her builds everything. And whilehe's there, he'd lost his cloak ring,
which a lessons to look human whileon Earth, so he's walking around
looking like a like a giant.Orci is lumber snack, And there's an
FBI agent that keeps coming by,an harassing ruth that's fucking weird. You
did a really good we get himweird? Yeah, out by him agent

(42:49):
him Yea, he had so manyissues, a lot of issues. Mainly
he was dabbing LSD a lot.He gave us mad serial killer vibes like
vibes. By the way, He'snot gone, Yeah, will eventually come
back around in this series. Justso you guys are aware, he's not
gone. He's just missing for thetime being. Does this like Smith from

(43:13):
the Matrix? He just keeps showingup for sure? That's actually how I
picture him, is Smith. I'mso glad that's what That's what I was
thinking of. What that's a movieI've seen anyway, They're trying to fight
off this agent. He's trying toget ahold of the Gata, the gate
between the two. It's weirdly obsessedwith Ruth, like in a weird vibe.

(43:38):
Yeah, yeah, weird stalker vibes. Definitely some heavy breathing down the
phone. Yeah. Okay. CanI just say as someone I've read this
book, Okay, this was oneof the first times, yeah, that
I read a book where the contentwarnings were so explicit and extend this sieve

(44:01):
that I was like, I wouldn'teven think to warn someone against that?
And it was the phone thing youhave that in your content warnings of like
creepy phone stocking, and and Iwas like, wouldn't even think to warn
someone of that. I'm happy youdid. Like that. That's an example
of really caring for your reader,of like really being like, hey,

(44:22):
just so you know, if you'vehad someone phone stock you, you might
want to skip this. And I'mgonna show that part real quick, so
Carlotta, you can hide onto yourblanket like an awkward turtle if you're like,
this is in the beginning, butthat you've also got it in the
back as well. Amazon sucks becausethey they if any trigger warning or content
warning is in the front, thenthey will flag it and they won't want

(44:45):
to publish it. So I putthis, which says go in the back
of the book, and then yeah, and if she breaks it down by
chapter, which I didn't figure outuntil I finished the book because I'm stupid.
But it was nice. But I'venever seen anybody else do that.
I personally loved that, and Ithink more people should because for some people
content awareness that is a warning list. I should stay away from these things.

(45:08):
For other people, it's a shoppinglist, right, I want to
read about this stuff. So herewe go. And one thing for everybody
too is if you're reading my booksand the table of contents, you will
see like chapters with an asterist alsohere in the chapter itself. That means
that there are you need to lookin the back for content warnings, so

(45:29):
that way as you're reading you knowwhat's coming sided you can you're like,
oh, there is an asterisky.I should check what the content warnings are
for this chapter, because I don'twant it to be like the story is
going along really great and then allof a sudden someone is hit with something
that just floors them. I wantto be like, hey, this chapter,
I don't. I want you tobe rather safe than sorry. It's

(45:51):
a great job with it. Iabsolutely love that part. Yeah, someone
who doesn't trust authors sometimes that likethis is a new author and all of
a sudden there's like enslavement and I'vehad no warning. I'm like, really,
yeah, I al saw the triggerwarnings are broken down by chapter on
my website too, so that's it. They're there, And I know that
that sounds like when when I sawthe way that you did that, I

(46:13):
was like, wow, that mustbe a lot of work. But then
going through the process of editing yournext book with you, by the time
that a book gets out, you'veread it so many times it is really
not hard to pull and be likethis chapter's got this, this chapter's got
this. Like it's a very straightforwardprocess. I mean usually while I'm formatting
and doing the final readthrough is whenI do it, so it doesn't really
take that much extra time, likeI've been doing that right now for Ruger's

(46:35):
Korea is I've been going through doingthe final read through and formatting both ebook
and the paperback at the same time. And so I just added the content
warnings also so everybody is aware.This is so the orcs are spicy Scottish
space orcs. I speak with aScottish brogue and their language, Danga Dove
is based off of Scott's Galic.There's a pronunciation guide in the back that

(46:59):
jend ignore all the time, andthere's and there's links on the ebook and
on my website too. So thisis this is gonna be funny. When
I was doing this and I wasdoing research, I wanted to get audio
clips because Scott's Gaelic at Gaelic ingeneral. You look at it and if
you're native English speaker, you're like, how did those letters make that sound

(47:20):
together? I'm not sure how Icontacted the website learned Gaylic that's scott which
is evidently a branch of the BBC, and was like, I know this
is gonna come in like a wreckingpall, but I write about I see
Scottish space orcs and I was wondering, could I please, can I please
link to your audio clips for mypronunciation guy on my website And evidently I
gave them a real good laugh andthey said, yes, that's amazing,

(47:44):
I love it. You can't getthe audio audio links and yes, So
if you're not a reader like mewho just skips over words she can't pronounce,
you have multiple ways to make sureyou're pronouncing things correctly. By the
way, anybody, if you speakScott's Gaelic or you read it and I
have written something that is not correct, please let me know so I can

(48:07):
fix that. So do you wantto tell us any more about Thorne's stuff
or leave it as is? Well, Um, there's a whole thing about
faded mates and what are called creamIt's c R d h E and that
means creed hit or if it's pronouncedkrea and it's means hearts, and it

(48:28):
is the term for faded mates.They have basically stopped existing on Talum.
There's this whole thing between Thorne andRuth of there's a lot of acceptance that
happens and a lot of trauma healing. It's something that I'm really big on
in all of my books. Butthey have basically said, like, we're
crea even if the mating marks whichshow up on your chest and they match

(48:52):
for the most part, they haven'tshown up. You're human though, so
that's probably why. But yeah,so there's that uh so faded mates.
Uh Thorn. Thorne is a teddybear, so there's toucher and di vibes,
but also a major cinnamon roll.There's local deputies. There's a deputy
and a sheriff that are just reallycute. There's a lot of coming together

(49:15):
the community fun stuff. It wasreally good and also you know, humming
with a dick in your mouth,that's fun. I am I forgot about
that scene. Oh yeah they havensYeah, okay, so um, we
are actually going to be doing anotherminisode where we talk about Ruger's Pearl,

(49:37):
which is the first official book inUm Carlotta series that just came out and
it is such a chunky boy thatit needs its own minisodare sid, So
we are going to give it itsown minisode. Um And also because we
love works so fucking much, wejust can't not. We're gonna cover that

(49:57):
book, the book she's currently workingon, and then um my Orc book
which I am also in the processof writing, and a couple of other
ones. A couple of the otherones that we have not gotten too.
So thank you so much for joiningus, um. This was I was
waiting for this episode until we startedthis podcast. So yeah, absolutely go

(50:21):
find yourself an Orc. We gaveyou plenty of options. Trash Cats Out

All Episodes

Episode 5 - Orcs: An Obsession

Episode Transcript

Popular Podcasts

NFL Daily with Gregg Rosenthal

On Purpose with Jay Shetty

Dateline NBC

.css-15opob5{left:0;position:absolute;top:0.8rem;} All Episodes

.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}Episode 5 - Orcs: An Obsession