May 14, 2020 • 21 mins
Lucy takes you through the process of what it's really like to rush a sorority.
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Join the conversation on our Discord
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:06):
Greek life was presented to me asa way to make best friends for life.
On the surface, it seemed tobe that perfect solution to cure that
freshman year loneliness. After my sevenmonths in Greek life that ended with three
months of trauma, my eyes wereopen to the systemic injustices that occur within
this community. The cultural silence aroundwhat happened to me and what happens to
(00:30):
many others when Greek life fails them, is what allows it to happen again
and again. Everything I share inthis podcast is from my experience and are
all my opinions, and I'm sharingmy truth in hope to start a conversation
and foster change. So, withoutfurther ado, I will now take you
with me on a trip down memorylane, starting with how it all began.
(00:55):
Sorority rush Snap. No see throughleggings, no dresses, slash skirts
that have a going out feel.So not too short, not low cut,
not too tight. Remember you canask your rogammas about what is and
is not appropriate. The year istwo seventeen. I'm eighteen years old and
(01:19):
it's the second semester of my freshmanyear of college. I'm currently at the
kickoff for rushing a sorority with thousandother girls, and we're being read aloud
what's not appropriate to wear to rush. We're sitting in a ballroom on campus
in folding chairs, and I'm lookingaround the room at my future competition.
Fuck. I didn't know there werethis many pretty girls at my school.
(01:42):
Everyone's already polished, highlighted, spraytanned, hair straight end, and I'm
like, damn, there's a lotof conventionally attractive looking girls in this room.
Turned to the girl next to me, and I'm like, what if
you don't even get into a sorority? Like, is that possible? She
says, I think so. I'mjust thinking about the different sororities that I
(02:04):
might end up in. And Iturned again to the girl next to me
and ask her what sorority she wantsto be in. When she asks me,
I say the name of a toptier sorority. I know that I
want to be in a top tiersorority because I want to be validated that
I'm pretty in cool. I mean, we all know that that's what this
is about. The top tier sorority. It's how pretty you are, if
(02:27):
you're cool, if you have agood personality if you're outgoing. Oh,
I knew automatically which sororities were thetop and which were the middle or the
bottom. It was clear to methrough talk around campus and a website called
Greek Rank. Who was There's rumorsgoing around that the sororities have looked at
our Facebook pages and have already decidedif they want us or not. And
(02:52):
you know, to be honest withyou, my ego was like, let's
fucking go. So if you've neverrushed a sorority or you've no idea what
I'm talking about, you might bewondering how did I even get here?
Well, I got here by payingfifty bucks. I mean, actually I
didn't pay the fifty bucks. Myparents did. And from the start,
(03:13):
I want to acknowledge that privilege tojust pay fifty bucks to go and make
some friends or join a stority whateverit was. Why did I want to
join a stority. I wanted tofind a community and go to parties.
I mean, I'm a fucking freshmanand I want in on it. Like
all those Greek events that I'm seeingaround on campus look so fun. So
(03:36):
I decided, hell yeah, I'mgoing to rush It's the first day of
Rush, and I get ready withmy roommate. We're blabbering about who knows
what. I have a very goodrelationship with my roommate. We're getting ready.
I put on a full face withmakeup. I already did my spree
tan last night. I leave myhair natural because you know, a majority
(03:59):
of the girls were straightening or curlingtheir hair, and so you know,
if I left my hair wavy,think it shows them like I don't give
a fuck. Rush split the dormsinto those who were rushing a sorority and
those who weren't. Suddenly, thegirls rushing head so many plans, so
many things to get ready for inthe communal bathrooms, and so much to
(04:20):
talk about. I'm wearing a gold, shiny tie up shirt that you tie
in the front. I would usuallywear it to go out with a bandeau
or braw let underneath, but sincethis was Rush, since we got hold,
don't wear anything that you would weargoing out. I decide to put
on a high cut tank top underneath, and I sent a picture the night
(04:44):
before to my row gamma for approvalof the outfit. A row gamma is
a woman who is already a memberof a sorority, and she helps you
through the recruitment process. Take anuber to a huge on campus, Jim,
So there's for us to sit inthe bleachers and get our information needed
for the day. When we getthere, we get our list of houses
(05:09):
and the order that we're attending womenand what do I see as number one?
Oh sho as see a top tier. So it's already game time,
you know. And once they sendus off, they send us off into
that january air. A lot ofus are wearing heels. I'm wearing booties.
We're like stopping around frat row speedwalking because you know, you've like
(05:30):
ten minutes to get there, andI have no idea what to expect,
so I'm just scurrying along. WhenI arrive, I am greeted at the
door by a sorority sister of thehouse and I go inside. There's a
bunch of other rushies around me.We go line up in the living room
in alphabetical order. The row gammasare passing out breath men's and I put
(05:57):
on lip gloss because this is atop house, and in my head,
I'm thinking, shit, what werethose rules again? Like there's these unspoken
rules that people say you're not supposedto talk about during rush. It's like,
don't talk about boys boots, Andthen like, was what was the
other one? I couldn't remember.The next moment I look up, music
(06:18):
is playing and the sorority sisters arewalking down the stairs smiling, kind of
like a runaway walk. So Rushiegets paired with a sister and we move
along the line. We move alongthe line, and suddenly it's my turn
and I get paired up and weshake hands. We're so excited to see
each other. My voice is notreally like my normal boys anymore, you
(06:41):
know, as if I was interviewingfor a job voice like Hi, Oh
my god, so nice to meetyou. I'm so excited. Everything was
very high energy, and the sisterthat we got paired up with would then
take us and we would go intoan area of the house and have a
conversation, and it was pretty chill. She was very very We talked about
our favorite TV shows, so wewere from our majors and general stuff,
(07:05):
and after the convo we hugged.I felt like it went well. And
mind you, when you're walking outof these sorority houses, they're all doing
these cheers about how amazing it isto be in the sorority, and they're
like a parade, and with thatdopamine rush of oh shit, like that
that went well, I think,And that was so fun, you know,
(07:27):
like that's everyone was so friendly.I was like, hell, yeah,
this seems like a game I couldplay. So I go from house
to house and I repeat the sameformat. But as the day went on,
it definitely got a lot more tiring, and I could notice which houses
I was actively trying to impress versusothers that I was not really giving that
(07:50):
much energy towards. Before I'm goinginto the top houses, I'm thinking,
Okay, what are the cool ordifferent things about me? I'm from New
York City that I like theater andlike that could make me stand out while
still maintaining this cool personality and appearance. Also starting to realize how much I'm
(08:11):
kind of covering up in these conversations, Like if I slightly mentioned a party,
my crossing the line and I don'tknow that bothered me. It started
to genuinely feel more like a beautypageant. I remember in some of my
conversations or interviews, whatever you'd liketo call them, I would say,
why can't we just be in ourpajamas and drink wine. I don't know.
(08:33):
I definitely felt confused and annoyed thatwe were in a beauty pageant being
censored while the guys rushing fraternities werehaving events surrounded by drinking and events like
burgers and blunts. At this point, I've been talking for hours now.
I've told everyone and their sister whyI want to join a sorority. I've
heard so many reasons about why beinga sorority is absolutely fantastic, and I've
(08:58):
probably said my Face TV show likesix times. I am done for the
day, but I now need togo back to campus and rank the sororities.
And not only were we ranking them, but they were also ranking us.
I burst into my dorm room andI say to my roommate, rush
(09:20):
is literally the Hunger Games. We'recomparing thoughts, questions, and concerns about
every sorority. One thing that therogammas told us for advice was that after
every house, we should write downwhat we thought of them, so we
remember, you know, since there'sso many houses. And my roommate and
I read aloud our notes and sharedour thoughts on the sororities. I want
(09:43):
to read my list. I stillhave it. So for the sorority that
I ended up picking, I said, its nose ring blonde love, wicked
blondes. Pretty. For the sororitythat my roommate ended up joining, I
wrote, nice, just not pretty. Drop. I wake up the next
(10:07):
morning and what Tim? Sit?Makeup? Tim? It's the second day
of Rush Philanthropy round, same routineas yesterday. Eat a granola bar,
Get ready Uber, go to thatbig gym. You know we're about to
get those slips back. Let's saywhich houses we got asked back to?
(10:28):
Like getting those slips back was likegetting your report card when you didn't know
you were going to pass a classor not, and you're just like waiting
to see that final grade. LikeI would rip the fucking sheet from my
rogamma and see if I was goingto be asked back to top soorties.
Let's let my eyes stand for first. Did I ask get asked back from
(10:48):
the top sorties? And I did? I got asked back from three top
houses, but I got dropped fromone top and one middle that I actually
really liked and thought I had agreat conversation with So I'm confused why they
dropped me, and I replayed myconversation that I had with them in my
(11:13):
head to try and figure out whatI said wrong. Thinking back on it,
I remember that in both of thoseconversations I mentioned weed, and so
I was scared that that's why Iwas dropped. And so from now on
out, I added weed to mylist of things and I'm not allowed to
talk about. But it was likewhatever. I still got asked back to
three top houses that I was downfor, And so the game continues.
(11:37):
Group chats are buzzing, We're alltelling each other, are given schedules for
the day aka the houses that wegot asked back from. Some people have
ten houses left, some people havefive houses left. It's really different for
everyone. The second round of Rushwas Philanthropy round, and in this round,
literally all the sororities I went todidn't even ask me anything, like
(12:00):
I wasn't doing any of the talking. They were doing all the talking.
So it was weird that they wereeliminating me based off of that round,
Like what on my reactions to whatso their philanthropy or was it just another
way to look at my looks andmy social skills and eliminate me off of
that. After this round of rush, we need to wait a week,
but before we know who we getasked back from, and of course what
(12:24):
sort do we want to end upin, and what sororities you've gotten back,
And it's talk of the town.It's the second to last round of
rush. Now the week has goneby and we're ready to get those slips
back and find out our results.Stakes are high now because the sororities are
being narrowed down, and tomorrow forthe last day of rush, it's going
(12:46):
to be the final two, sothis is pretty critical we get our slips
back. My eyes scan for thetop tiers. There they are okay,
cool, cool, cool, stillon the track to be in one of
the sororities that I want to bein. I'm lit. I feel totally
validated and ready for this next round. As I lift my head and observed
(13:07):
the room around me, I realizedthat that's not everyone's reaction. I see
a lot of girls who are visiblyupset, a few that are crying,
And this time in the group chatwhen we talk about who we got back,
not everyone's replying and damn. LikeI feel bad. That really sucks,
you know, like I'm feeling validatedthat I'm pretty and cool because I
(13:30):
got asked back. I can't imaginewhat they're feeling since they were dropped.
And while that sucks, I gottago put some lilip claws on and mentally
prepare myself for the day because it'sgame time. I'm gonna small talk my
way to the final round. Andyou know that's exactly what I do.
In these round conversations are getting abit deeper. I'm talking about a fight
(13:54):
that I had with a friend,and I'm really enjoying the girls that I'm
having conversations with. And I goback to that room of ranking, rank
the sororities and get a good night'srest. So I'm ready for tomorrow,
the last day of Rush. Spraytan, check, nails done, Check
(14:15):
hair straightened. Check for all theother rounds. You know, as I
told you guys, I left myhair wavy to show I'm all natural,
but this round I was gonna alsoshow them that when it comes down to
it, I can also straighten myhair. And you know, now I
just need to im mentally prepare andthen get the show on the road.
Okay, so my final two houseswere two top tiers. There's one that
(14:39):
I kind of prefer, but look, we're just gonna see how this round
goes and base it off of that. In this final round, as we're
lining up in alphabetical order, I'mlike, holy shit. Part of me
is intimidated because you know, deepdown I'm insecure, and then another part
of me is validated because I'm thinking, oh shit, like these are my
equals, I must be as prettyas them. As the pool of rushies
(15:03):
got smaller and smaller, the groupof girls grew more conventionally attractive, indicating
that there was a theme about whois being eliminated. So many of the
girls around me are literally models,like for a fact, their models.
No one's overweight. Also, noone's of color. I mean, from
the beginning of this all, itwas pretty clear that this was a predominantly
(15:26):
white space. I saw some womanof color sprinkled in throughout Rush, but
in this final round I didn't seeany. They had a whole ceremony in
the basement, very well done.Flowers blows speeches about how much they love
each other and how their life haschanged since they have had this sisterhood,
(15:48):
the total lamorous, fucking commercial forhow amazing their sisterhood is and how amazing
these sorority are. My final conversationwith a girl in the authority that I
ended up wanting to be in.They were top at the top, and
I just liked the girls a littlebit more than in the other one,
(16:10):
like the fucking like three girls thatI talked to. But my final conversation,
the girl I was talking to yousaid to me, you know,
if you're in, if you wantto be and I could have cried.
I was like, oh my god, I want to be in it so
much, like I would love thatyou have no idea like I'm gonna put
you guys first, like blood outat all, just sucking her ass.
(16:33):
She was sucking my ass and weloved it. I'd love to have our
hug, goodbye, our farewell orI'll see you tomorrow. I am on
a Cloud nine Rainbow Road red carpet, like you know, Rainbow Road and
Marrio Kart. Like it's so overwhelming, but in the best way possible.
(16:55):
I strut out of that house.I strut to the ranking room. I
struck to the table. Some girlsin the room, are talking to the
rogammas like, I don't know whichsorority to pick. I don't know which
one to pick in the rogammas arelike, trust the process, just trust
the process. That that's what theyalways told us. I put the sorority
first, no questions asked. Ihand them the slip back, and I
(17:18):
skip on out. Oh shit untilI see my friend sitting in the corner
on a bench crying, was cryingto her mom on the phone about how
she feels ugly and she got droppedfrom all the sororities and she just wasn't
(17:41):
happy about the ones that she hadleft. You know, I empathized.
I said she was beautiful. Isaid what I could say. And I
saw that that sucked. That's fuckedup. But you know, I pushed
that thought aside. And when I'mhome, I'm excited that I'm like,
I'm celebrating that I'm going to bein a top sorority. I go to
(18:03):
bed hype, and I'm still hypeas I'm walking into that gym on mid
day about to open an envelope thatsays which sorority I'm gonna be in.
Although I'm pretty confident I think Iknow which one I'm going to be in.
They placed us with our rush group. We're sitting on the gym floor
crisscross apple sauce with our rogammas,and we're seated in the circle with our
(18:26):
group. They pass out the envelopes. You know, we're all kind of
nervously chit chatting, and they getthe three two one open our envelopes.
I knew, yes, I gotinto the top sorority, the one that
I wanted to be in. Iimmediately snapchatted and posted on my story.
(18:48):
I'm so excited. Some girls didn'tget the sorority they wanted, or they
did, or some girls weren't eventhere because they'd already dropped. You can
imagine how this could have gone onin my head, though I couldn't imagine
that because I was fucking running overto my new sisters, hugging them.
They're fucking gorgeous that I'm in lovewith you. We put on our Bidday
(19:11):
shirts and we get on the bidDay bus, which are buses from the
school. Everyone's chatting. I can'teven begin to try and remember everyone's name.
There's like five different alleys. We'reapproaching the sorority house. On the
bus. Oh my god, thewhole chapter is dancing outside. They're matching
the theme of our shirts. Weget out of the bus, we get
(19:33):
signs with our name on it,then match the theme. I'm taking group
pictures of people that I don't knowat all, but you know, it
doesn't it doesn't matter anymore because we'resisters. There's definitely an underlying emotion of
loneliness and awkwardness, but the excitementtopped that. We went inside, introduced
ourselves to each other. Eight foodand I remember hearing a girl saying,
(19:59):
oh my god, like everyone's sopretty, and the way she said it,
it was like kind of like nota good thing, but I fucking
felt that, Like it was like, oh shit, Like now I'm not
the pretty one in the room,Like we're all the pretty one in the
room. Is that? Oh mygod? It's fucking conceited. So I
leave mid day and when I headup to my dorm, there's a sign
on the door saying blah blah blahthe name of the sorority loves Lucy with
(20:23):
the symbol of the sorority. Likeit was clear for everyone on my floor,
everyone who walked by my room,which sorority I was in and I
loved that. And throughout the entireevening, girls from the sorority were posting
on my Facebook walls welcoming me thingI love you. I literally didn't have
never met them before in my life, but they loved me now and I
loved them too. I upload mymidday picture to Instagram. I'm getting so
(20:48):
many new followers, which also meansI'm getting the most likes and comments on
this picture that I've ever had.And now I can barely sleep because I'm
so amped up by all this validAll I can think about is how I
now have this set of beautiful friendsfor the next three and a half years.
I would have looked at you likeyou were in nuts if you told
me, honey, this is justgonna last half a year and it's not
(21:15):
gonna end well, snapped
Greek life was presented to me asa way to make best friends for life.
On the surface, it seemed tobe that perfect solution to cure that
freshman year loneliness. After my sevenmonths in Greek life that ended with three
months of trauma, my eyes wereopen to the systemic injustices that occur within
this community. The cultural silence aroundwhat happened to me and what happens to
(00:30):
many others when Greek life fails them, is what allows it to happen again
and again. Everything I share inthis podcast is from my experience and are
all my opinions, and I'm sharingmy truth in hope to start a conversation
and foster change. So, withoutfurther ado, I will now take you
with me on a trip down memorylane, starting with how it all began.
(00:55):
Sorority rush Snap. No see throughleggings, no dresses, slash skirts
that have a going out feel.So not too short, not low cut,
not too tight. Remember you canask your rogammas about what is and
is not appropriate. The year istwo seventeen. I'm eighteen years old and
(01:19):
it's the second semester of my freshmanyear of college. I'm currently at the
kickoff for rushing a sorority with thousandother girls, and we're being read aloud
what's not appropriate to wear to rush. We're sitting in a ballroom on campus
in folding chairs, and I'm lookingaround the room at my future competition.
Fuck. I didn't know there werethis many pretty girls at my school.
(01:42):
Everyone's already polished, highlighted, spraytanned, hair straight end, and I'm
like, damn, there's a lotof conventionally attractive looking girls in this room.
Turned to the girl next to me, and I'm like, what if
you don't even get into a sorority? Like, is that possible? She
says, I think so. I'mjust thinking about the different sororities that I
(02:04):
might end up in. And Iturned again to the girl next to me
and ask her what sorority she wantsto be in. When she asks me,
I say the name of a toptier sorority. I know that I
want to be in a top tiersorority because I want to be validated that
I'm pretty in cool. I mean, we all know that that's what this
is about. The top tier sorority. It's how pretty you are, if
(02:27):
you're cool, if you have agood personality if you're outgoing. Oh,
I knew automatically which sororities were thetop and which were the middle or the
bottom. It was clear to methrough talk around campus and a website called
Greek Rank. Who was There's rumorsgoing around that the sororities have looked at
our Facebook pages and have already decidedif they want us or not. And
(02:52):
you know, to be honest withyou, my ego was like, let's
fucking go. So if you've neverrushed a sorority or you've no idea what
I'm talking about, you might bewondering how did I even get here?
Well, I got here by payingfifty bucks. I mean, actually I
didn't pay the fifty bucks. Myparents did. And from the start,
(03:13):
I want to acknowledge that privilege tojust pay fifty bucks to go and make
some friends or join a stority whateverit was. Why did I want to
join a stority. I wanted tofind a community and go to parties.
I mean, I'm a fucking freshmanand I want in on it. Like
all those Greek events that I'm seeingaround on campus look so fun. So
(03:36):
I decided, hell yeah, I'mgoing to rush It's the first day of
Rush, and I get ready withmy roommate. We're blabbering about who knows
what. I have a very goodrelationship with my roommate. We're getting ready.
I put on a full face withmakeup. I already did my spree
tan last night. I leave myhair natural because you know, a majority
(03:59):
of the girls were straightening or curlingtheir hair, and so you know,
if I left my hair wavy,think it shows them like I don't give
a fuck. Rush split the dormsinto those who were rushing a sorority and
those who weren't. Suddenly, thegirls rushing head so many plans, so
many things to get ready for inthe communal bathrooms, and so much to
(04:20):
talk about. I'm wearing a gold, shiny tie up shirt that you tie
in the front. I would usuallywear it to go out with a bandeau
or braw let underneath, but sincethis was Rush, since we got hold,
don't wear anything that you would weargoing out. I decide to put
on a high cut tank top underneath, and I sent a picture the night
(04:44):
before to my row gamma for approvalof the outfit. A row gamma is
a woman who is already a memberof a sorority, and she helps you
through the recruitment process. Take anuber to a huge on campus, Jim,
So there's for us to sit inthe bleachers and get our information needed
for the day. When we getthere, we get our list of houses
(05:09):
and the order that we're attending womenand what do I see as number one?
Oh sho as see a top tier. So it's already game time,
you know. And once they sendus off, they send us off into
that january air. A lot ofus are wearing heels. I'm wearing booties.
We're like stopping around frat row speedwalking because you know, you've like
(05:30):
ten minutes to get there, andI have no idea what to expect,
so I'm just scurrying along. WhenI arrive, I am greeted at the
door by a sorority sister of thehouse and I go inside. There's a
bunch of other rushies around me.We go line up in the living room
in alphabetical order. The row gammasare passing out breath men's and I put
(05:57):
on lip gloss because this is atop house, and in my head,
I'm thinking, shit, what werethose rules again? Like there's these unspoken
rules that people say you're not supposedto talk about during rush. It's like,
don't talk about boys boots, Andthen like, was what was the
other one? I couldn't remember.The next moment I look up, music
(06:18):
is playing and the sorority sisters arewalking down the stairs smiling, kind of
like a runaway walk. So Rushiegets paired with a sister and we move
along the line. We move alongthe line, and suddenly it's my turn
and I get paired up and weshake hands. We're so excited to see
each other. My voice is notreally like my normal boys anymore, you
(06:41):
know, as if I was interviewingfor a job voice like Hi, Oh
my god, so nice to meetyou. I'm so excited. Everything was
very high energy, and the sisterthat we got paired up with would then
take us and we would go intoan area of the house and have a
conversation, and it was pretty chill. She was very very We talked about
our favorite TV shows, so wewere from our majors and general stuff,
(07:05):
and after the convo we hugged.I felt like it went well. And
mind you, when you're walking outof these sorority houses, they're all doing
these cheers about how amazing it isto be in the sorority, and they're
like a parade, and with thatdopamine rush of oh shit, like that
that went well, I think,And that was so fun, you know,
(07:27):
like that's everyone was so friendly.I was like, hell, yeah,
this seems like a game I couldplay. So I go from house
to house and I repeat the sameformat. But as the day went on,
it definitely got a lot more tiring, and I could notice which houses
I was actively trying to impress versusothers that I was not really giving that
(07:50):
much energy towards. Before I'm goinginto the top houses, I'm thinking,
Okay, what are the cool ordifferent things about me? I'm from New
York City that I like theater andlike that could make me stand out while
still maintaining this cool personality and appearance. Also starting to realize how much I'm
(08:11):
kind of covering up in these conversations, Like if I slightly mentioned a party,
my crossing the line and I don'tknow that bothered me. It started
to genuinely feel more like a beautypageant. I remember in some of my
conversations or interviews, whatever you'd liketo call them, I would say,
why can't we just be in ourpajamas and drink wine. I don't know.
(08:33):
I definitely felt confused and annoyed thatwe were in a beauty pageant being
censored while the guys rushing fraternities werehaving events surrounded by drinking and events like
burgers and blunts. At this point, I've been talking for hours now.
I've told everyone and their sister whyI want to join a sorority. I've
heard so many reasons about why beinga sorority is absolutely fantastic, and I've
(08:58):
probably said my Face TV show likesix times. I am done for the
day, but I now need togo back to campus and rank the sororities.
And not only were we ranking them, but they were also ranking us.
I burst into my dorm room andI say to my roommate, rush
(09:20):
is literally the Hunger Games. We'recomparing thoughts, questions, and concerns about
every sorority. One thing that therogammas told us for advice was that after
every house, we should write downwhat we thought of them, so we
remember, you know, since there'sso many houses. And my roommate and
I read aloud our notes and sharedour thoughts on the sororities. I want
(09:43):
to read my list. I stillhave it. So for the sorority that
I ended up picking, I said, its nose ring blonde love, wicked
blondes. Pretty. For the sororitythat my roommate ended up joining, I
wrote, nice, just not pretty. Drop. I wake up the next
(10:07):
morning and what Tim? Sit?Makeup? Tim? It's the second day
of Rush Philanthropy round, same routineas yesterday. Eat a granola bar,
Get ready Uber, go to thatbig gym. You know we're about to
get those slips back. Let's saywhich houses we got asked back to?
(10:28):
Like getting those slips back was likegetting your report card when you didn't know
you were going to pass a classor not, and you're just like waiting
to see that final grade. LikeI would rip the fucking sheet from my
rogamma and see if I was goingto be asked back to top soorties.
Let's let my eyes stand for first. Did I ask get asked back from
(10:48):
the top sorties? And I did? I got asked back from three top
houses, but I got dropped fromone top and one middle that I actually
really liked and thought I had agreat conversation with So I'm confused why they
dropped me, and I replayed myconversation that I had with them in my
(11:13):
head to try and figure out whatI said wrong. Thinking back on it,
I remember that in both of thoseconversations I mentioned weed, and so
I was scared that that's why Iwas dropped. And so from now on
out, I added weed to mylist of things and I'm not allowed to
talk about. But it was likewhatever. I still got asked back to
three top houses that I was downfor, And so the game continues.
(11:37):
Group chats are buzzing, We're alltelling each other, are given schedules for
the day aka the houses that wegot asked back from. Some people have
ten houses left, some people havefive houses left. It's really different for
everyone. The second round of Rushwas Philanthropy round, and in this round,
literally all the sororities I went todidn't even ask me anything, like
(12:00):
I wasn't doing any of the talking. They were doing all the talking.
So it was weird that they wereeliminating me based off of that round,
Like what on my reactions to whatso their philanthropy or was it just another
way to look at my looks andmy social skills and eliminate me off of
that. After this round of rush, we need to wait a week,
but before we know who we getasked back from, and of course what
(12:24):
sort do we want to end upin, and what sororities you've gotten back,
And it's talk of the town.It's the second to last round of
rush. Now the week has goneby and we're ready to get those slips
back and find out our results.Stakes are high now because the sororities are
being narrowed down, and tomorrow forthe last day of rush, it's going
(12:46):
to be the final two, sothis is pretty critical we get our slips
back. My eyes scan for thetop tiers. There they are okay,
cool, cool, cool, stillon the track to be in one of
the sororities that I want to bein. I'm lit. I feel totally
validated and ready for this next round. As I lift my head and observed
(13:07):
the room around me, I realizedthat that's not everyone's reaction. I see
a lot of girls who are visiblyupset, a few that are crying,
And this time in the group chatwhen we talk about who we got back,
not everyone's replying and damn. LikeI feel bad. That really sucks,
you know, like I'm feeling validatedthat I'm pretty and cool because I
(13:30):
got asked back. I can't imaginewhat they're feeling since they were dropped.
And while that sucks, I gottago put some lilip claws on and mentally
prepare myself for the day because it'sgame time. I'm gonna small talk my
way to the final round. Andyou know that's exactly what I do.
In these round conversations are getting abit deeper. I'm talking about a fight
(13:54):
that I had with a friend,and I'm really enjoying the girls that I'm
having conversations with. And I goback to that room of ranking, rank
the sororities and get a good night'srest. So I'm ready for tomorrow,
the last day of Rush. Spraytan, check, nails done, Check
(14:15):
hair straightened. Check for all theother rounds. You know, as I
told you guys, I left myhair wavy to show I'm all natural,
but this round I was gonna alsoshow them that when it comes down to
it, I can also straighten myhair. And you know, now I
just need to im mentally prepare andthen get the show on the road.
Okay, so my final two houseswere two top tiers. There's one that
(14:39):
I kind of prefer, but look, we're just gonna see how this round
goes and base it off of that. In this final round, as we're
lining up in alphabetical order, I'mlike, holy shit. Part of me
is intimidated because you know, deepdown I'm insecure, and then another part
of me is validated because I'm thinking, oh shit, like these are my
equals, I must be as prettyas them. As the pool of rushies
(15:03):
got smaller and smaller, the groupof girls grew more conventionally attractive, indicating
that there was a theme about whois being eliminated. So many of the
girls around me are literally models,like for a fact, their models.
No one's overweight. Also, noone's of color. I mean, from
the beginning of this all, itwas pretty clear that this was a predominantly
(15:26):
white space. I saw some womanof color sprinkled in throughout Rush, but
in this final round I didn't seeany. They had a whole ceremony in
the basement, very well done.Flowers blows speeches about how much they love
each other and how their life haschanged since they have had this sisterhood,
(15:48):
the total lamorous, fucking commercial forhow amazing their sisterhood is and how amazing
these sorority are. My final conversationwith a girl in the authority that I
ended up wanting to be in.They were top at the top, and
I just liked the girls a littlebit more than in the other one,
(16:10):
like the fucking like three girls thatI talked to. But my final conversation,
the girl I was talking to yousaid to me, you know,
if you're in, if you wantto be and I could have cried.
I was like, oh my god, I want to be in it so
much, like I would love thatyou have no idea like I'm gonna put
you guys first, like blood outat all, just sucking her ass.
(16:33):
She was sucking my ass and weloved it. I'd love to have our
hug, goodbye, our farewell orI'll see you tomorrow. I am on
a Cloud nine Rainbow Road red carpet, like you know, Rainbow Road and
Marrio Kart. Like it's so overwhelming, but in the best way possible.
(16:55):
I strut out of that house.I strut to the ranking room. I
struck to the table. Some girlsin the room, are talking to the
rogammas like, I don't know whichsorority to pick. I don't know which
one to pick in the rogammas arelike, trust the process, just trust
the process. That that's what theyalways told us. I put the sorority
first, no questions asked. Ihand them the slip back, and I
(17:18):
skip on out. Oh shit untilI see my friend sitting in the corner
on a bench crying, was cryingto her mom on the phone about how
she feels ugly and she got droppedfrom all the sororities and she just wasn't
(17:41):
happy about the ones that she hadleft. You know, I empathized.
I said she was beautiful. Isaid what I could say. And I
saw that that sucked. That's fuckedup. But you know, I pushed
that thought aside. And when I'mhome, I'm excited that I'm like,
I'm celebrating that I'm going to bein a top sorority. I go to
(18:03):
bed hype, and I'm still hypeas I'm walking into that gym on mid
day about to open an envelope thatsays which sorority I'm gonna be in.
Although I'm pretty confident I think Iknow which one I'm going to be in.
They placed us with our rush group. We're sitting on the gym floor
crisscross apple sauce with our rogammas,and we're seated in the circle with our
(18:26):
group. They pass out the envelopes. You know, we're all kind of
nervously chit chatting, and they getthe three two one open our envelopes.
I knew, yes, I gotinto the top sorority, the one that
I wanted to be in. Iimmediately snapchatted and posted on my story.
(18:48):
I'm so excited. Some girls didn'tget the sorority they wanted, or they
did, or some girls weren't eventhere because they'd already dropped. You can
imagine how this could have gone onin my head, though I couldn't imagine
that because I was fucking running overto my new sisters, hugging them.
They're fucking gorgeous that I'm in lovewith you. We put on our Bidday
(19:11):
shirts and we get on the bidDay bus, which are buses from the
school. Everyone's chatting. I can'teven begin to try and remember everyone's name.
There's like five different alleys. We'reapproaching the sorority house. On the
bus. Oh my god, thewhole chapter is dancing outside. They're matching
the theme of our shirts. Weget out of the bus, we get
(19:33):
signs with our name on it,then match the theme. I'm taking group
pictures of people that I don't knowat all, but you know, it
doesn't it doesn't matter anymore because we'resisters. There's definitely an underlying emotion of
loneliness and awkwardness, but the excitementtopped that. We went inside, introduced
ourselves to each other. Eight foodand I remember hearing a girl saying,
(19:59):
oh my god, like everyone's sopretty, and the way she said it,
it was like kind of like nota good thing, but I fucking
felt that, Like it was like, oh shit, Like now I'm not
the pretty one in the room,Like we're all the pretty one in the
room. Is that? Oh mygod? It's fucking conceited. So I
leave mid day and when I headup to my dorm, there's a sign
on the door saying blah blah blahthe name of the sorority loves Lucy with
(20:23):
the symbol of the sorority. Likeit was clear for everyone on my floor,
everyone who walked by my room,which sorority I was in and I
loved that. And throughout the entireevening, girls from the sorority were posting
on my Facebook walls welcoming me thingI love you. I literally didn't have
never met them before in my life, but they loved me now and I
loved them too. I upload mymidday picture to Instagram. I'm getting so
(20:48):
many new followers, which also meansI'm getting the most likes and comments on
this picture that I've ever had.And now I can barely sleep because I'm
so amped up by all this validAll I can think about is how I
now have this set of beautiful friendsfor the next three and a half years.
I would have looked at you likeyou were in nuts if you told
me, honey, this is justgonna last half a year and it's not
(21:15):
gonna end well, snapped
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