June 17, 2024 • 60 mins
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@breannaaponte
@thesoftlifeceo
Website:
www.thesoftlifeceo.com
Community:
www.thesoftlifeceo.com/society
Free Training:
www.thesoftlifeceo.com/free-training-optin
YouTube:
@thesoftlifeceo
Relationship Restored:
www.relationshiprestored.com
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
People that are unsuccessful, they focus more on delay and
(00:04):
they focus on bargaining the future. People that are successful,
they sacrifice.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
Hey, I'm Brianna Aponte, your host of the Soft Life
CEO podcast.
Speaker 3 (00:14):
I dropped out of college at the age.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
Of nineteen to start my first business. I worked seven
days a week, wore way too many hats, and was.
Speaker 3 (00:21):
The true definition of a hustler.
Speaker 2 (00:23):
Years later, I'm finally living the dream that I worked
so hard to make my reality. I've transitioned from a
hustler to a soft life CEO, working only two days
a week to maintain and run a high earning business.
Speaker 3 (00:34):
That gives me the freedom to live a life I love.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
Now it's my mission to help as many entrepreneurs as
I can elevate their brand, increase their income, and reclaim
their time. Join me and guest experts as we share
our transparent journeys, work smart and not hard, strategies, and
the behind the scenes of running a successful brand and business.
Speaker 3 (00:51):
You're tuned in to the Self Life CEO.
Speaker 2 (00:53):
Hallie Ray, Welcome, Welcome, Welcome. We are so happy to
have you here. Thank you.
Speaker 1 (00:57):
I'm so happy to be here. You are a part
of my journey through everything, so nowhere else I'd want
to be.
Speaker 2 (01:02):
Really walk us through your whole entrepreneurial journey and how
you got to where you are right now in real estate.
Speaker 1 (01:07):
So I definitely like to start off with saying where
I'm from because I am originally from South Dakota. Like
I grew up there, I went to college there. I
knew I was never meant to be there, though I
knew that eventually I would move away and all my
family would have to come visit me to see them,
and I just knew that for me, I wasn't going
(01:30):
to be your forever South Dakota girls. So kind of
always was a black sheep when it came to traditional
thinking and traditional mindset with what made me happy and
what I wanted to reach towards. Most of my family
got married to their high school sweetheart and they are
still working the job they went to college for, which
(01:52):
is amazing. I love that for them, they're very happy people.
I mean, I aspired to be like them in many ways,
but for many ways we are different. And one of
the biggest differences in US is I am a dreamer.
I think that ultimately all of my ideas have come
(02:12):
through my desire to just know I'm capable of more
and know that I have I have leadership veins in
me that is meant to guide others two more, even
if it's not necessarily in being a strict like teacher,
but through inspiration in my actions and just honestly having
(02:35):
a spirit of excellence and all the things I do,
and it just carries over so a little of my journey.
I did go to nursing school. I had no idea
that I wanted to be a nurse. Honestly, it was
just a job. I knew I could get paid and
go to work, and it wasn't much thought to it.
It's not necessarily a very hard job. It is a
(02:56):
tiring job, but you basically just have to show up
and do a decent job, and you can be a
nurse as long as you graduate and go to school.
But there was a point in time where even people
were asking me, like, you know, just so inquisitive about me,
my personality, the things I liked, like almost knew that
I wasn't really fit to be a nurse, even though
(03:18):
I was a good nurse. It was more so just
because I had so many interest and I just liked
to do other things outside of my job. When a
lot of people's lives became their job, I was more
interested in creating outside of work, and through this and
wanting to have like some balance, especially mentally, I started painting.
(03:42):
So painting for me, honestly wasn't meant to be a job.
It was more so something to relieve my mind, something
to share with my followers and my friends. And it, honestly,
very quickly through already kind of having built a brand
and already built a social media community. It wasn't a
(04:03):
very large one. I probably had maybe I don't know,
maybe five to ten thousand followers. I have around like
twenty two thousand right now. But during this time when
I was painting, I would share and people like, oh,
like how much is that for sale? And I was like,
what for sale? Like, I'm just paying this for fun.
(04:23):
So very quickly this churned into I became an events girl.
I became a person that started curating vibes to have
different local books and companies and places where I could
curate not just an art show, but a place where
(04:44):
people wanted to come hang out and honestly want to
take pictures and want to say I was there, and
that quickly turned into where a majority of my brand
and personality and just my career started driving into more
of So I was still nursing, and I was still
(05:07):
very grateful that I had a job to facilitate my
hobby and my passions. And I knew that I was
growing out of my nursing job through mostly my efforts
that were bringing me in as much income that I
was making nursing. So at a certain point I decided
I would no longer be a full time nurse and
(05:27):
I would just work part time jobs and part time
assignments to give me a little comfort. As my art
it was a little more difficult to have a consistency.
And honestly, since I've now become a full time realtor
and like have a real business, I sometimes reflect on
if I would have given myself the efforts I put
(05:48):
into my real estate business had I done these things
as an artist, I probably would have been much more successful.
And I still I am an artist. I just don't
really spend as much time in my business right now
that I do in real estate. And I do very
much believe that you know you your effort and your
energy can't go one hundred percent into completely different businesses.
(06:12):
They can intertwine, but there is one that ends up
being ultimately your baby and one that you're dominantly known as.
So I feel like the more successful I become as
a realtor, the more I'll be able to incorporate art
and I'll be able to have a branch that facilitates
that career as well. But yeah, So I dove into
(06:36):
my first ever investment property as an artist because it
was the first time I ever had more than like
maybe five thousand dollars in my account, maybe ten maybe
some amount I can't remember. And I was like, you
know what, I want to get into real estate. I
had a great friend also want to breeze clients and
friends that became my great friend that taught me how
(06:58):
to purchase my purse first duplex, and through that learning process,
I fell in love with real estate. And I was like,
I want to be wealthy through real estate, and I
want to be wealthy through teaching people what I learned
as an investor. And I got into I made the
decision to do sales in like thirty days. I was like,
(07:18):
all right, I'm stopping everything. I'm going to do sales
in real estate. I took my license and from there
I literally have had my foot on the gas. And
it's been about sixteen months since that day, and yeah,
I feel like I'm going to be a reltor forever.
Speaker 3 (07:34):
I feel like I was just at Calli's art show or.
Speaker 2 (07:37):
I even think the late I didn't make the one
that happened right before you got into real estate. I
remember seeing it on Instagram.
Speaker 3 (07:44):
I was like, oh my gosh, vibes per usual.
Speaker 2 (07:47):
And then it was like a week goes by and
Callie's like, yeah, I'm I'm about to get my real
estate license and I'm like, girl, what And then before
you know it, her brand, her social her website, all
of the things.
Speaker 3 (07:59):
It's like it happenednight.
Speaker 2 (08:01):
So Callie's story is a great example to why when
you have the feeling to do something, why you should
just do it. Because everything that she did led to
the place where she's at now, even when she mentioned
the whole art thing, if she didn't go in on
this art situation, and I remember we had that conversation
(08:22):
like sitting on your coulture, like I don't know, Brite,
like this is scary, like to just be like I'm
an artist now, like who does that?
Speaker 3 (08:29):
And I was like, you do, and she did and
that led to her getting to where she is now.
Speaker 2 (08:34):
So I always tell people this goes for dating as well,
right Like, when you date, if it doesn't work out,
you're one man closer to the man you're supposed to
be with. Same thing, with purpose and with positioning. Not
every position is for the long call, but it will
get you to the next position and the next position
to really get you to where you want to be.
(08:54):
So Callie is such a great example of how when
you commit and show up for yourself, things happen. So
I just admire your hard work and I'm really excited
to kind of talk about your routines and different things
because you know, fitness is one thing, right, It's like, yes,
we all want to look good and feel good. But when,
especially as an entrepreneur, when you can commit to yourself in.
Speaker 3 (09:16):
A physical way, it trickles.
Speaker 2 (09:18):
Down mentally, emotionally and helps you be a better leader,
be a better business owner, better boss. So my first
question for you, Calli is with the transition and you
now being at the point where you have this business,
you're in real estate, you know that you only make
money if you show up and if you close these
deals and if you make it happen. It's a lot
(09:40):
of networking, it's a lot of talking. There's a lot
of leading your team. How do you juggle being full
time in that position and then making sure that you're
showing up in all the other ways? Because for those
of you listening, CALLI has an amazing boyfriend. Shout out
to Earle, and he has a little girl, and so
she in this role of step mom. How do you
(10:02):
show up in all of these other roles and then
still make sure that you're showing up for yourself? What
are the things that you do to commit to your
own wellness and development?
Speaker 1 (10:12):
Totally okay, So this is a very complex answer, but
there's two things that I rely on solely. And the
number one thing for sure, if anyone wants to ask
me in passing is pre planning. Everything comes down to
pre planning. And I will say that a lot of
(10:33):
the times when I make plans or I coordinate a
schedule or time blocking, whatever it is, sometimes I just
get the the high from creating the plan, and the
hard part is actually executing the plan right. A lot
of us can say all right, it's Sunday, I'm gonna
do this on Monday, I'm gonna do that on Tuesday,
this on Wednesday, this on Thursday, and you're maybe struggling
(10:56):
with like, all right, how do I actually do what
I say I'm going to do? But the fifty percent
of the battle is a lot of people aren't even
actually making that plan. So number one, the most important
thing is I tell people that once you can actually
coordinate the time to make it happen instead of just
waiting for the moment to decide or figure out when,
(11:18):
or figure out what, you're giving your brain not only
the path to follow, but you're also allowing it to
have more space to think about the more important things
and the more concrete things that you should be saying,
should I make time for this or that? Or is
this important? Or isn't that important? And your brain already
has a commitment and a space and a plan. So
(11:41):
for me, my planning takes place literally like the schedule
like this call is like everybody got a message for
this call. We all had to be on a certain time,
a doctor's appointment, have to be there at nine o'clock.
I will literally set in my calendar. It's called my
CEO meeting, and I have it with myself and it's
literally my date. I say an hour, I usually need
(12:02):
two hours to plan everything, and that's what days I'm
working out, what workouts I'm doing, what time I'm doing
the workout, and then also planning around the workout what
things are important, because for me, also things that matter
are am I going to dinner that night? Okay? So
I need to I'm like, okay, am I going to
(12:23):
be washing my hair? How long do I have ready
to get ready? Am I going to be showering after
that workout? Do I have to go right to an
Errand what errands do I have to run that week?
Do I have to attend an event? So I'm planning
out literally every little detail, so when the opportunity comes,
I can't already make the excuse to say, oh shoot,
I'm signed up for hot yoga at six o'clock, but
(12:44):
I'm supposed to go to dinner at seven, So I'm
just going to cancel the hot yoga. No, you already
have it figured out, And yeah, of course you get
invited last minute or things happen and plans change and
I think that there are sometimes sacrifices we can make
for working out out, but most of the time it
shouldn't come any important then anything else you have to
(13:05):
do that's important in your work, schedule, your life. And
you know, the older you get and the more mature
you get, the more that people start to be confident
in what you say is your boundary, with your timing
and honestly not even explaining yourself like I literally say,
I apologize, I'm unable to make it this time, can't
wait to see you the next not I'm going to
(13:27):
skip my workout. I'll do it again tomorrow.
Speaker 2 (13:31):
Get my free training from Hustler to Self Life CEO,
which includes my untold Entrepreneurial Journey, The Soft Life CEO Roadmap,
am I winning recipe for elevating your brand, increasing your
income and reclaiming your time. Head over to the Soft
Life Ceo dot com backslash free training. No one thing
that you do that I love and I feel like
I do a good job of doing this, but I
(13:53):
sometimes say yes to too much at one time. But
you're very clear on your boundaries, and you're clear to
the point where when you communicate it, it doesn't come
across mean.
Speaker 3 (14:03):
Or like oh I'm not important, she doesn't love me.
Speaker 2 (14:06):
It's like this is necessary for me to get through
the day. And so I'm going to bring up an
example because I was like when you did this to me,
I was like.
Speaker 3 (14:14):
Yes, Callie, like I love this for you. So I
had called CALLI. I was like, hey, girl, call me,
or it was.
Speaker 2 (14:20):
Something random like I just wanted to say hi, or
I think we got we ended a call early because
you had to go do something. So I was just
calling to be like we didn't finish our call, and
Callie texted me and she's like, girl.
Speaker 3 (14:32):
I've been talking to people literally all day. I need
to just go take a walk and like like stop
talking and stop thinking and just like be alone for
a minute.
Speaker 2 (14:39):
So like I'll catch you later, right, And I was
like absolutely, like girl, call me, would we have time.
But it's stuff like that that makes a big difference,
not just in your day to day life but in
your business because you have to know what things to
say no to and like when to stand your ground
and choose yourself first. And I always tell people saying
no to someone or something else is always going to
(15:02):
result in you saying yes. To you, and that that
skill of knowing what to say no to is so
so game changing as an entrepreneur. So definitely take a
page out of Callie's book. Do not be afraid to
tell these hefas no. And you can also apologize and
explain why if you want to, but you all have to.
(15:23):
You could be like not answering. I'll get back to
that person tomorrow. So boundaries are everything. Speaking of boundaries, CALLI,
do you have like any type of like ritual for
your morning routine or your night routine that really helps
you have the most productive days.
Speaker 1 (15:42):
Yes, So again, like I said, planning number one most
important thing when I have my week planning, that's step one.
Step two is daily planning. And in my step one
the CEO meeting, I'm obviously committing to five days a
week morning routine. Now obviously, like I'm human, that's the
best week. Like obviously if I can, if I do
(16:03):
it five days in a whole week for one hour,
I'm setting aside my morning routine that is like I
get five stars. There are times where I'm either a
traveling or be I was up really late the night
before and I do have to like just get dressed
and go right away in the morning. But who I
strive to be in the best most fulfilled person I
(16:27):
feel every day is when I am committing to five
days a week for my morning routine. So the morning
routine is the game changer. Like that is where I
give all of my that's my secret sauce, Like it's
not a secret. Actually it's not my idea. There's many
books in podcasts, everyone says it it's all about there's
(16:47):
so much research and so much that shows in the
morning we are our most highest version of ourselves. We
have yet not expended energy. We are. It is before
the hour where people are calling you, texting you. I mean,
this is also the morning in which possibly even the
(17:09):
sun hasn't even come up, your cortisol levels are its highest.
It's when you can honestly say, like this is about me.
There's nothing that can distract me. But it's me in
my time, in my moment and for me. Not only
is the morning routine great for figuring out what I
need to do for the day. Honestly, I usually will
(17:29):
say during that weekly routine, I'm already I already kind
of know what's going on for the day. In the morning.
The morning is more set up for me to be
present and be still and also be able to hear,
because so constantly throughout the days in my life, I'm
always planning. I'm figuring out this answer. I'm planning that,
(17:56):
I'm reciting this, I'm scheduling that, I'm making sure this
is good. And it's that hour, that commitment of resting receiving.
I mean, there's actually a Matthew McConaughey's book. He refers
to it as wonder time in the morning. One hour
of wonder time where we allow ourselves to receive, whether
(18:20):
it's through prayer, whether it's through your journal, whether it's
through you know, your wonder time is really where you
can be still and not distracted and have clarity on
you know, maybe you don't even know what you need
clarity on, or maybe you do have something that you
actually need to specifically come up with an idea. I mean,
(18:42):
that's how I created the women's self care rooms. In
my morning routines, I would have journal prompts that would
I'd work in reverse from six months backwards. How would
I do something? And all of a sudden it came
out through my morning routine because I couldn't do it
while I was working. I couldn't plan that while I
(19:05):
was you know, driving from place to place, attending birthday
parties and doing all these things, because I wasn't inspired
during those moments and in that hour. And we can
talk more too about what that looks like how do
you get creatively woke and pray and all those things,
(19:25):
and how to really break it down. But I will
say more so, it's just the act of setting the time,
and it's not setting it like in the afternoon or
the evening. Like if you do, you know, maybe work
overnight shifts. Yeah, I could see someone that maybe has
to reorganize it to the time. But even if you
(19:45):
you know, are a nurse and you start at seven am,
A lot of times I would help those girls. I
would say, maybe only one of your workshift days you
do the morning routine and then the other five days
are on your day off, are two days work.
Speaker 2 (20:02):
No. I definitely that morning situation what I have found
because I was like, oh, maybe I could do workouts
in the evening, or I could do this, or I
could do that. What you said about the morning, like
that is the time when we really are at our best,
we're undistracted, we're the most motivated. And when I saw
a shift in how I acted and thought as a
(20:25):
business owner and as a leader in my business was
when I committed myself to at least four to five
days a week, committing to a morning routine where I
could be inspired, because.
Speaker 3 (20:36):
Like Callie said, in the morning, like I get.
Speaker 2 (20:38):
My best ideas when I'm in the shower doing my
prayer and worship, Like I feel like God just shows
up in my bathtub and He's.
Speaker 3 (20:47):
Just like giving me all these different things.
Speaker 2 (20:50):
And you know, some of the things are just nuggets
that you know, you make a note of and you
sit down, but years later you're like, wow, when that
seed was planted. I was doing all these things because
I was moving intentionally with that thought in the back
of my head. And so many people are just jumping
from job to pick up their kids, to be with
their man, to go to that party, to happy hour
(21:11):
to that. They're just constantly doing, and they're never showing
up and serving the one person who matters the most,
which is themselves. So, as Cali mentioned, having that time
where it's uninterrupted, you're not responding to other people, but
you're doing and giving to yourself so that you can
be the best version of you is so so important
as an entrepreneur. And you did say you were like,
(21:33):
you know, we could go into more detail about what
that looks like. So if our listeners are you know,
maybe they're like, okay, I get it, wake up, have
a morning routine, but like, what are the things that
they can do to really tap into their inspiration and
their motivation.
Speaker 3 (21:48):
Do you have any.
Speaker 2 (21:49):
Tools that you use or any tips that you can
give for sure?
Speaker 1 (21:52):
So your morning routine actually starts. For me, the morning
routine actually happens. Whether it happens or not, is it
how I set my night up? So it's like, okay,
you thought that at the started of the morning. No,
it actually starts at night. So you have to have
two setups you have to have for me if I
I mean, I've heard people as dramatic as saying they
sleep in their gym cloths. I personally think that that's
(22:15):
not realistic and it's not attainable long term.
Speaker 3 (22:17):
It's not comfortable.
Speaker 1 (22:19):
Yeah, no, absolutely not. I mean I work out in
like little matching two pieces. But I will say that
you know, whatever it is that works for you. This
is obviously my blueprint of an idea that you should.
I will say through many people i've helped go through
this and also myself, this is pretty much if you
(22:41):
try not to mingle it too much, it will give
you the results you want, but you know, adjust as
you need. Yeah, but at night is when you really
decide whether you're going to do that morning routine or not.
So it is really planning your day around not only
what time do you start to prepare for bed, but
what time you actually go to bed. So for me,
(23:04):
a lot of times, the issue with people is is
that they're not doing their morning routine because they're going
to bed too late. So they're starting their night with
The number one thing I tell people and then has
helped me inconsistency in being consistent is not being on
my phone before I go to bed. My phone is
not in the room. No, yeah, literally my charger, Like
(23:27):
I can see it on my little kitchen over there.
I don't keep my charger in the room. This was
something I thought at one point that I would never
be able to do long term. I just like tried
it and I was so used to my brain was
correlated my bed with my phone and buy my dresser,
and it creates this habit and this almost comfort that
(23:49):
when you're in your room and on your bed, your
bed should think sleep. It's yea be related to screen time,
scroll time, honestly, anything really other than bedtime and maybe
maybe some TV. I mean maybe conversation with your spouse
if that's when you guys have your time, but definitely
not engaging your brain in a way that makes you
(24:13):
not only be able to not sleep well, but also
stay up longer than when you're really tired. Because most
of the time it's like we just set our phone down,
we usually fall asleep. So Number one, that time routine,
setting your phone in another room. This is like probably
some people are like, oh, that's like a big jump,
you can get into it. I mean I have done.
(24:33):
This is like something I've done for over a year
and I've never gone back. No, not a bad habits still,
so I'm not perfect, you know. That's just one that
I have maintained and I do consistently. Number two is
actually setting out for me. I have like a little
organizer behind my door where my closet is that sets
(24:55):
in each pocket. It's like a shoe organizer, but I
use it for clothes. I put each outfit inside the pocket.
So every single day, when I get up, literally my underwear,
I throw them on and I just pull out the outfit,
brush my teeth, and then I do my morning routine
with my gym clothes on, because as soon as the
morning routine's over, I'm out the door. So another thing
(25:18):
that's really helpful for people to go straight to work
after their morning routine is having their food and their
bag packed at night. So in your fridge. That would
mean you have your snacks either prepared or your food prepared,
or you know exactly what it is that you're going
to do when you leave in the morning, it's already
(25:39):
just to grab, put in your bag and go and preferably,
you know, if you also have to shower from your gym,
that you would bring, you know, your change of clothes
that would also be set aside and ready. And these
are some things that people in the CEO meeting would
maybe even set out for the week to help them prepare,
especially people that have children, because they're having to dress
(26:01):
their kids and do all these you know, a lot
of a lot of thinking, a lot of steps. So
again nighttime routine, phone away lunch, organize lunch in the fridge,
and just planning the next day at night and also
not well. This is definitely a big step for me.
My issue was having Alexa be my alarm, because I
(26:25):
would you can, yes, you can. You have to get up.
You have to have a real alarm, and you have
to have it not next to your dresser.
Speaker 3 (26:34):
Mm hmm.
Speaker 1 (26:35):
So for me, it's in the bathroom because it makes
me get up and the best thing you could ever do.
And I'll like have a competition with myself in my head,
and I'll think about someone else that is putting their
feet on the ground and getting up immediately, and I'm
deciding to lay there or be more tired. And honestly,
I'll have maybe nights or days where I didn't sleep
(26:59):
good and I'll be like, oh, I need to catch
up on my sleep. I will literally tell myself, you
are going to suffer your day, and it's the only
way you're gonna tell tell yourself to go to bed
earlier the next day. Maybe at your feet. It'll make
you take yourself more seriously to go to bed earlier. Yeah,
(27:20):
a planned night out or a planned you know, you know,
but not because of mindlessly scrolling, not because of you know,
too many glasses of wine or binging a Netflix show.
The truth is all this stuff. If you're already on
this call, like you're already someone that is another level
(27:42):
of like motivated and disciplined. And as we know, like
people that people that are unsuccessful, they focus more on
delay and they focus on bargaining the future. People that
are successful, they sacker. And these are sacrifices that are like, okay,
(28:04):
it sounds like a lot, it is a lot, but
little by little, over time it becomes majority of your
normalcy and not what's motivating you or what's making you
have the energy to do it. So now into your
morning routine, you woke up, you put your feet on
the floor. I always tell people to break it down
(28:25):
one hour, and you break your hour down in fifteen
minute increments. And the best way to break your fifteen
minute increment is first by giving your body. Probably one
thing we don't do when we work out is mindfulness
and non non pressed exertion. That is actually not meant
(28:49):
to be about calories and burning out. It is meant
to be of more slow gratitude and Honestly, one thing
we are most all day is too tight. We should
be stretching, we should be opening up, we should be expanding.
It might be foam rolling, yoga, just stretching, tennis, ball
(29:12):
under your foot, whatever, it is, fifteen minutes of that,
and it's also your time to really wake up, because
what I've noticed is if you go straight to reading
or praying, you're too tired and you're not really awake yet.
Actually I skip the first fifteen minute. The first fifty
minute is actually making your bed, brushing your teeth, drinking water,
(29:35):
putting your clothes on, getting yourself organized, maybe making your
cup of coffee. I don't suggest drinking it first thing,
but you could make, you know, have your pot ready
or however you do it, and then getting right into
your stretch. And then after your stretch, this is thirty
minutes have passed. So say it's now six thirty. You
(29:57):
have from six thirty to seven to completely dedicate to
no phone time, completely you your book, your journal, and
your prayer. And this is where you can do so
many things, from writing your gratitude lists, from reflecting on yesterday,
from setting your intentions for the day, not necessarily working
(30:21):
to plan your day like, oh, I need to meet
this person at this time due this is that. More so,
today I intend to pray over a stranger in the
elevator and take my mind off myself for a second,
to not rush so much that I can't speak to
the front desk person because I gotta go. I gotta go,
I gotta go. I intend to, you know, say three
(30:43):
kind things to myself every time I even have a
negative intention or thought. Today, I intend to not complain
to myseluse about anything that I have go on today.
That type of these prompts in mentality will trigger you
to have something to meditate on all days that will
(31:04):
open up, you know, again, just that spirit of excellence
in you to help you change and transition your automatic
thoughts which are eighty percent ninety percent negative and belittling
and fear based. And this just helps you know, it
doesn't necessarily completely change your day, but I promise that
(31:27):
when maybe you're in a street encounter and you want
to plut someone off or you want to cut someone off,
you will have a little essence of like that person
is with you and you're thinking like that, that would
be so opposite of like who that person is and
(31:47):
who I want to be to have that action, and
it'll create more of a responsive person in you than
a reactive person in you. And it's it will ultimately
help build better choices and all the things you do
which will influence you know, eating, fitness, conversations, relationships. It
(32:10):
all trickles from that one hour in the first start
of your day through doing it consistently.
Speaker 2 (32:20):
Kali, there's no there's so much to touch on.
Speaker 3 (32:23):
That was so good.
Speaker 2 (32:25):
I first want to I want to shout this out
because if you're someone who struggles with mindfulness and kind
of like what Cally was talking about, like, it can
be hard if you're starting at the beginning to know exactly.
Speaker 3 (32:37):
What to work on, or what to tell yourself or
what to meditate on.
Speaker 2 (32:40):
And this is something that helped me. And it was
actually a video of Callie on her balcony with her
yoga Matt and her. I think it was like a
guided prayer journal or something, and you were like writing
in it and doing stuff and I was like, I
have that journal that I've been meaning to get back to,
and I was like, I'm skipping the part of my
morning where I just slow down. I stretch and I'm
(33:02):
mindful because like, yeah, I guess technically I'm mindful when
I'm working out and I'm listening to the podcast.
Speaker 3 (33:07):
But you're kind of multitasking, right, You're doing two things
at once. And the whole point of the podcast is
to help me get through the workout that I don't
really want to do.
Speaker 2 (33:15):
So it's like combining to you know, something I enjoy
with something that's hard that I don't necessarily enjoy, but
I know that I need. And I was like, before
doing that, I need to get in the right headspace
because I need to be able to appreciate that I
am healthy to even go to the gym and work out.
Some people are missing limbs, some people are sick and
in the hospital. So I need to be grateful that
(33:37):
I have the opportunity to go and work on my
body in the gym. And so I saw the video Cali,
and I was like, I'm going to pull out that journal.
I want to shout this journal out because this has
helped me with my morning routine. And as Callie said,
like her routine is very similar to mine. My phone
stays in the bathroom, it is not on Hey Siries,
stop playing, I have to physically get up. And as
(33:58):
I go in there, instead of turning it off, because
I actually wake up to oceans where feet may fail
by Hillsong United, instead of having to turn off my
alarm and mess up the flow, I walk in and
the music is playing.
Speaker 3 (34:12):
I instantly brush my teeth, I put on my clothes.
Speaker 2 (34:14):
I leave my phone, and I go into the other room,
pull out my mat, pull out my journal, and I
continue that song as I'm stretching and as I'm meditating
on whatever the scripture is of that day.
Speaker 3 (34:26):
So it is Shannon Roberts, The Prayer Journal for Women.
It's a fifty two week scripture scripture.
Speaker 2 (34:32):
We actually did this me CALLI and all of our
friends for our Bible study, our guided Bible study. But
we never made it through the full fifty two weeks,
and so I restarted it. And what's great is that
it gives you a scripture for the day, and then
it actually asks you questions, and it says like, how
have you been an example of God's love in your
life lately? What can you do better to show God's
(34:54):
love in all ways? You know all the people that
are in your life. What things can you be more
mindful of today, knowing that this is the message that
you're receiving. And as I'm stretching, instead of writing it down,
I more so think about it and meditate on it.
And then when you flip it, there's a prayer request,
a praise report, a God put this on my heart,
(35:17):
or God guide me to do this. So it's all
these things that then I sit down, and after my
body's warmed up, then I write all of those different
things just so that before I get in the gym,
my head is in the right place and I'm reminded
of my why, I'm reminded of why I'm so blessed,
and why I want to show up for myself and
for others. So I absolutely love everything that Kylie said.
(35:38):
I think the biggest game changer for me was the
phone situation, because putting your phone away and not having
it bedside gives you the authority to turn your brain
off and to get rid of all distractions and give
yourself the permission to rest. And I think, though often
we are distracted, and your phone being there, even if
(36:01):
you are a very much dedicated or committed or disciplined person,
why have it there? You know, it's it's just it's
just gonna end up distracting you because you might pick
up the phone and instead of looking at social media,
it might be work related. All of the things they
just need to go away. So I absolutely loved, loved,
loved that. The other thing that Calie mentioned, which I
(36:23):
really loved is when it comes to having your morning routine,
so many people make mistakes, make not mistakes, They make
excuses the morning of because they're like, oh, well, I
went to bed three hours later than I was supposed to,
so I'm just going to go back to sleep and
I'll try again tomorrow. It's like, no, if you get
up and you commit to your daily routine, guess what,
(36:45):
you're going to be tired, and you're going to be
mad that you didn't go to sleep when you were
supposed to. And that negative reinforcement will force you to
make a better decision that night because you know what
happened today, and so it like it reinstates the initial
mission that you had and the initial plan that you
wanted to commit to.
Speaker 3 (37:04):
And I've had to do that as well.
Speaker 2 (37:06):
And as much as I know Callie and I probably
are on the same page with listening to your body
and giving yourself enough rest.
Speaker 3 (37:12):
There is a period of time where you're kind of
training yourself.
Speaker 2 (37:14):
You have to get rid of these bad habits and
you have to learn and adopt new ones, and that
takes time and you have to really just focus on
training yourself. So I absolutely love that. That was really
great and Callie, I do normally wait to the end
to go into Q and A with our community, but
Snaya had a question resulting the morning and night routine
(37:36):
that I feel like it only makes sense to talk
about it now, So she said, quick question, This may
be silly, but what do you guys think is a
healthy time when it comes to going to sleep? How
much sleep should you actually receive as a mom, wife,
an entrepreneur. I'm asking because it seems like I'm always
sacrificing something.
Speaker 3 (37:53):
Oh I feel you girl, I'm let Callie start. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (37:57):
Well, first of all, I think that that is is
something that really is a question. I will honestly ask
people what they feel best when they get this amount
of sleep. And the truth is a lot of times
people are blaming the amount of sleep that they're getting
on why they're tired, and the truth is the reason
why they're tired is because they're not dedicating any awake
(38:20):
time to rest, and their mind never has a moment
to actually even feel at rest or at peace because
it's in constant fight or flight mode and it's in
constant preparing planning mode. So it's not that your body
actually you know, think of like a fuel tank. Like
a fuel tank needs one hundred percent fuel to it
(38:42):
doesn't mean it can't perform well at forty percent. It
still performs well at the same it just needs to
have one hundred percent to be at capacity. So to
really answer your question, I would say it depends on you.
But I would say if you're if you're consistently getting
seven hours, you may not need eight. Some people say
they need eight they feel great, but I would say
(39:05):
anything less than seven, you're you're you're giving you you
don't have enough boundaries because there shouldn't be there. You
should either be working new habits in your partner's time together,
whether it be like you know, something we had struggle
with in the past was we really only have from
like eight to ten o'clock together. So it's like that
(39:28):
goes really fast with dinner, maybe a show like it
goes really fast. So a lot of times what was
happening was we would sacrifice that time to spend more
time together because we wanted to be in our enjoy
time together. But that just meant we either had to
sacrifice other things or plan more day nights, and also
(39:50):
very important, we had to plan. I don't know how
old your children are, our child is, but did the
child had to be asleep or at least in her
room by the time that we had our alone time,
so I could say, you can stay awake. I'm not
you know. The thing was for me. I like to
go to bed. When you go to bed. No, if
you're going to stay awake and play the game or
(40:11):
watch TV, you do that. I'm going to lay down.
I will see you in the morning. And I can't
wait for Friday when we can, you know, be up
till one in the morning and do whatever we want.
But it's also making sure that your time together is intentional.
You're still nursing, I see that every three hours. Okay,
so seven months and three year olds, so you have
clearly very more meeting children. So I would say having
(40:37):
a three year old or a three month old is
like just a totally non unrealistic time of life. It's
like not even comparable to the average person or really
having boundaries and goals and all those things. I would say,
I'm assuming maybe you are not actually like you don't
have a day to day job, like you're either working
(40:58):
from home or you're making a break for a period
of time. I would say, honestly, during this time where
you are having such need for children that you are
really releasing anything other than your kids, your needs and
very minimal commitments, and you're making time when you can
(41:19):
during these moments to plan for what you're going to
do that is going to be more of your driven spirit,
more of your goal setting spirit for a later time,
and using this time to say, I just want to
use this time to learn myself, be able to be
gentle to myself and form habits that are around being
(41:41):
nice to myself, and then really and utilizing you know,
clearly you're already a step ahead to be committing to
this hour, and you know giving yourself that commitment of
saying this season is going to be of commitment and
of discipline, but it's going to be geared towards different things.
I'm not going to put so much pressure to it
(42:02):
being my personal future career. It's going to be my
personal spiritual development, my kindness to myself, my gentleness to myself.
You still have to plan those things, you still have
to organize it and make it a priority. But to
say right now that you would be on the same
(42:23):
energy level of who you should be in maybe six
months in coordinating and organizing those things would be You're
going to spin out. It's just not It's not possible.
And I think that's when we get into our our
achievement drives, are worth and our identity, and you know,
(42:43):
I would just say giving yourself time and grace and
gentleness to go through the next like three to six
months of this space.
Speaker 2 (42:53):
Yeah. I'm a firm believer in we live in seasons,
and every season looks a little different, even for people
who aren't raising a newborn baby. I think we all
in a year's time have seasons where there's a season
of hustle, where we are super dedicated and maybe our
(43:13):
priority is our business, and then there's a season of
more rest is the priority and it's more of that mindfulness.
And although every season all of these things are still
a part of our life, it should have an EBB
and flow that makes sense for where you are in
life right now.
Speaker 3 (43:30):
So having a seven month old and a.
Speaker 2 (43:32):
Three year old and having to nurse every three hours,
I think what Cally talked about in terms of planning
and something that I'm going to mention, which is kind
of assigning a theme to the days of your week,
could be very helpful. So essentially saying that you know
on a daily basis what your children need. Right you
pretty much have a schedule for them. At seven months,
(43:54):
the baby should be on some sort of schedule, I'm assuming.
If not, I'm sorry, But if they are on some
sort of schedule where you at least know their needs,
then it's okay. What is mama's needs, What is mama's
needs as a woman, What is mama's needs as a
business owner? What are my needs when it comes to
making sure that I'm showing up.
Speaker 3 (44:13):
As the best mom possible.
Speaker 2 (44:15):
And then understanding that if you are only prioritizing your
children and not yourself, you're really not prioritizing your children
because you have to come first. So making sure that
you are setting and sacrificing certain things within your day
to day so that you are giving yourself what you
need and understanding that your rest white right now just
looks a little bit different. But my theme of giving
(44:37):
each day of the week a theme has been really
helpful for me because it allows me to assign each
day a purpose to where if nothing happens and only
this thing happens, I had.
Speaker 3 (44:47):
A great day. And where you are with.
Speaker 2 (44:49):
Your business, I would love to book a one on
one call with you and learn more about what you're doing,
because in the time of having a newborn, where your
schedule's all over the place, this is the best time
for you to start to imp workflows and systems and
automations in your business so that you're not feeling like
you're sacrificing your time in order to make your income.
Because hello, if you have these babies who are like mommy, mommy, mommy,
(45:12):
you're trying to do it all and so the goal
is work smart, not hard. So I would love to
know more, and I would just say send me a
private message so that you can give me a little
bit more info and maybe we could do a one
on one call and get you in a better flow
of things. But as Colly said, for sleeping, I think
you have to test it out.
Speaker 3 (45:29):
Like what I had to do.
Speaker 2 (45:30):
I tested like for one week I was going to
attempt six hours, and then for the next week seven
and the next week eight, And what I found out
was eight is too much, six is too little. Seven
to seven and a half has me right in my
happy place. But I also realize that I have this
thing where if I wake up in the middle of
the night, I feel more well rested when I wake up,
And I don't know what it is, if it's a
(45:51):
mental thing. When I wake up and I'm like, oh yay,
I get to go back to sleep, it like it
feels like such joy.
Speaker 3 (45:58):
I'm like, there read more hours. So you have to
figure out what works best for you.
Speaker 2 (46:04):
So just try to test it out, especially once the
baby is sleeping and you're not having to nurse every
three hours. But hopefully that information helped. I want to
jump over to some of our other q and as
from our members because we have some really great questions.
Speaker 3 (46:18):
So Callie Ray.
Speaker 2 (46:19):
What advice would you give to someone who is just
starting their fitness journey and they are a full time
entrepreneur or living a busy life. What are some tips
or tricks that you can give them for implementing fitness
for the first time consistently.
Speaker 1 (46:36):
Okay, so I'm going to go right back into getting
having a consistent morning routine and using the CEO meeting
one hour a week to coordinate schedule what workouts, what days,
what times, and even your outfits. I mean it may
(46:57):
not be Monday, is this outfit Tuesday's OUTBT, but having
them all and ready so you have minimal excuse and
honestly just reminding yourself that that you cannot rely on
the motivation. You have to rely on the discipline, and
that's your schedule.
Speaker 2 (47:13):
And how many days a week, how many days a
week would you recommend for someone that's starting that they
should try to actually work out?
Speaker 1 (47:22):
I would say four days a week.
Speaker 3 (47:24):
For Yeah, that was a personal question.
Speaker 1 (47:26):
I was just curious days a week.
Speaker 2 (47:28):
Yeah, all right, Next question, what keeps you motivated on
days when you're particularly tired or quote unquote too busy.
Speaker 1 (47:37):
Discipline, your discipline, And honestly, for me, I don't have
the ability to sacrifice emotional serotonin, happiness, joy. That's what
drives me to do and be great. And honestly, the
quote and the confidence that I get when I think
(47:59):
of how you do anything is how you do everything
is so prominent to me, Like I wouldn't really say
this to a client, but if I was neck and
neck to another realtor and they were like frumpy and overweight,
It's like, why would you trust them over me? I
(48:19):
get shit done like ooh second. And I'm not saying
that that means I'm better than them as a realtor,
but it shows a lot of commitment and just excellence
to the things you do and commit to, you know,
without you know, obviously being overly. You know, obviously a
(48:40):
fitness trainer and a fitness influencer and a gym trainer
is going to be the most fit in the room.
Of course, Like.
Speaker 2 (48:48):
Listen, what she said about how you do anything is
how you do everything. The reason why this has me
like listen is because I just went through something with
an employee where it's like, you know, if this is
how you do this for me, everything else is off
the table because it shows like your work ethic in
(49:09):
anything that you do will.
Speaker 3 (49:11):
Make or break the result that you get from it.
Speaker 2 (49:13):
So I know a lot of us are listening to
this because we want to stick to our fitness goals.
But like, the point is that how you show up
and commit to yourself in this way, it will trickle
down to everything else.
Speaker 3 (49:25):
So absolutely cally insane.
Speaker 2 (49:27):
It's like, as much as we don't want to say,
you know, we're being compared. We are constantly being compared.
And so if someone is looking at you and your
brand and they're deciding if they're going to go with
you or the next guy, everything matters, Everything matters, and
the way that you.
Speaker 1 (49:44):
Have to not choose you honestly.
Speaker 2 (49:46):
Absolutely absolutely, Oh that's so so good. Okay, Next, what
are your top tips for maintaining a balance between work
and personal life?
Speaker 3 (49:57):
Are you ready to go from hustler to soft life ceo?
I'm here to help.
Speaker 2 (50:01):
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where I provide weekly events such as group coaching, calls,
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Get access to members only in person events and discounts
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(50:24):
for thirty days free access.
Speaker 1 (50:26):
Top tips will be again having a commitment towards morning routine,
your CEO, meeting your boundaries, and also truly being clear
on what it is that brings you joy, because a
lot of the times we don't even know what makes
us happy. We are just so familiar with our decisions
(50:50):
and our choices and our movement that we have lost
sight of what brings us joy. Like for example, I
have come to realize that I actually don't find joy
in every night laying on the couch and watching TV
just because I get time with my boyfriend. I actually
(51:11):
enjoy like going out for walks and going on bike
rides and you know, getting out of the house that
I just was so familiar with doing that when I
got home from work because I was tired. That you
have to relearn and really talk about the things that
bring you joy, Because if you were to write down
things that bring you joy and your list was just
sitting on the couch or just going to birthdays and
(51:33):
brunches and expending your Sunday, you would notice that the
gap a lot of times between what we're doing and
what makes us really happy is who we want to be,
is what we're really not doing. And the smaller you
can make that gap, the more we feel aligned because
(51:54):
we also are doing what we like to do and
we feel aligned and that gap is small.
Speaker 2 (52:02):
You know what, that reminds me of dating because in dating,
so many of us women, we will write this one
hundred list page of everything that we want our person
to have. Yet we're not looking in the mirror and saying,
am I a reflection of someone that a man like
that would want? Am I attracted? Or am I attractive
(52:26):
to that person on that piece of paper? And before
we say we want all these things, we have to
actually live in alignment with what we want.
Speaker 3 (52:35):
That is so good.
Speaker 2 (52:38):
Next question, how important is having a support system in
achieving your fitness and career goals?
Speaker 1 (52:44):
Oh my gosh, I love this question because I will
say right now, I am feeling a little bit un
inspired by my own personal walk because I do feel
like I don't really have the accountability when it comes
to partnership, and I'm losing a little bit of my
(53:07):
what I'm actually doing and what I should be doing.
And I actually this morning reached out to one of
my girlfriends. I would say out of maybe fifteen friends,
she's probably in the bottom five. I mean, I'm not
saying she's not my closest friend, but I reached out
to her saying, would you like to go on one
(53:30):
or two walks really early in the morning with me,
and we'll just do it together and we can have
positive conversation. We're going to feel good about making a
commitment and doing it, and I know that it's going
to encourage me to just bring someone to keep me accountable,
even if it's one thing, and even if it's you know,
(53:50):
it doesn't have to be every workout. I do not
like working out with other people. It's not my thing.
I like to be in my space in my head,
and I like to like channel my own thoughts. But
for me, this accountability walk is going to, I know,
just make me not make excuses for things and have
someone else also join in and not just be because
(54:11):
the truth is your sisters and your friends, you know,
an accountability partner by check in unless you're paying someone
that's not going to maintain holding you really accountable, and
then you're going to be like, well, I this and
I that well, and then you start justifying and then
you start pointing your finger. It's like, if you can
(54:32):
reach out to someone that you know that you can
partner with you, even if it's through joining virtually or
in person or one activity. It's going to make you
more accountable. But you also can't rely on that on
all the areas of everything you want to.
Speaker 2 (54:48):
Yeah, the last question is what role does goal setting
play in your overall success as a woman?
Speaker 1 (54:58):
Okay, well, I will say God only got the only
prayers God doesn't answer are the ones you never ask,
So that is very similar. I mean, everything I desire
and I want I bring to him, and I bring
to a paper, and I bring to a keyboard or something.
(55:20):
It has to be scarcely like specific, and it can't
be just like I want to make I want to
you know, make more money, or I want to honestly,
even I want to lose ten pounds. It's not specific enough. Yeah,
you know, what are you going to do? How are
(55:41):
you going to do it? For me? The best way
I've ever set goals and actually done what I wanted
to do, especially like a project or something that I
knew had like an out like a finish line, I
do it in reverse. So obviously, if it's like a
more you know, maybe if it's like, oh, I want
to launch a brand new business that's a little more
(56:03):
of a heavy effort goal, so that I would give
myself maybe a six month timeline versus something that's like
I want to, you know, a smaller goal maybe being
more consistent in the gym. So what does that mean?
You know? Then this next week, this is what I
need to do. And I would reverse Friday to the backwards.
(56:25):
So yes, writing on your goals, going through your goals,
even if you can, like re said, with a partner
or someone that can hold you accountable to them. And
the truth is, I mean a lot I feel like
a lot of times when we say these things, people
are like, I don't have person, I don't have a partner,
I don't have a spouse, I don't have a great friend.
(56:46):
Then you need to start intentionalizing and putting yourself in
places and spaces where you can meet those people. And
it won't happen overnight, but it will happen with your intentionality.
And you got to ask God. You got to be
specific with God to say what it is exactly you
want and then have action to follow what you're being
told and what you're being instructed to do, because you
(57:07):
can't just you know, it's not a genie that you
just say your command and it's like in front.
Speaker 2 (57:12):
Of you girl, and listen, this is it's actually like
full circle moment. I was gonna say, there is no
excuse like in today's day and age because of social media. Literally,
the way that me and Calli met was in DMS.
I slid in her DM. I think you were doing
like a boxing video or something, and I think I
said something. I said some about your abs or your body.
(57:34):
I was like, girl, you getting it on my goals
as Callie Ray like and this is. I didn't know her,
and before we know it, she was inviting me to
come to her house.
Speaker 3 (57:42):
Like yeah, we stranger.
Speaker 2 (57:43):
She's like, yeah, come on over, I'll make a little
board of apples and we like caramel apples. And that
was seven years ago. I had no clue who she was.
So you have the world at your fingertips. It is
okay to ask and receive some nose. If you have
to go through fifty no's to get one, great yes,
it was worth it.
Speaker 3 (58:04):
So stop being scared.
Speaker 2 (58:05):
Put on your big girl panties, ask the question, slide
in the DMS, go to that event, go in the gym,
and actually ask people their names and just make what
you want to have happen a reality by just making
the actions, take those actions, and y'all like the world.
Speaker 3 (58:24):
Is our oyster.
Speaker 2 (58:28):
So uh, Callie, please tell the people how we can
stay connected with you.
Speaker 1 (58:34):
Yes. So, my Instagram is my most active social media.
It is where, honestly, if I want to share or
say anything, I'm going straight to my Instagram, which is
how my name is spelled. Calie ray c A L
l I r A E and then XO and then
I also have a real estate page that is closing
(58:56):
with Callie c A l I that I'm working on
and growing. So if you want more of the real
estate content, that's there, But my personal page, Cali reepso
is pretty much all things Calli.
Speaker 2 (59:10):
This was such a great chat. I know our earlies
are going to get so much from it. Callie, continue
to be my favorite fitness inspiration, okay, because if you
fell off, I don't know what I would do.
Speaker 1 (59:22):
I couldn't be happier. I'm grateful to be here, and please,
if anyone has any questions or wants to bounce ideas
off me, message me. I will one hundred percent respond.
Speaker 3 (59:32):
Thanks for tuning in to Soft Life CEO.
Speaker 2 (59:34):
I hope that today's episode gets you a little bit
closer to achieving your definition of a soft life. If
you're ready to start the journey from hustler to soft
life CEO, go to the Soft Life ceo dot com backslash.
Speaker 3 (59:44):
Society for a thirty day free trial in my coaching community.
Speaker 2 (59:47):
If you found this episode helpful, share it with a friend,
leave a review, and don't forget to subscribe.
People that are unsuccessful, they focus more on delay and
(00:04):
they focus on bargaining the future. People that are successful,
they sacrifice.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
Hey, I'm Brianna Aponte, your host of the Soft Life
CEO podcast.
Speaker 3 (00:14):
I dropped out of college at the age.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
Of nineteen to start my first business. I worked seven
days a week, wore way too many hats, and was.
Speaker 3 (00:21):
The true definition of a hustler.
Speaker 2 (00:23):
Years later, I'm finally living the dream that I worked
so hard to make my reality. I've transitioned from a
hustler to a soft life CEO, working only two days
a week to maintain and run a high earning business.
Speaker 3 (00:34):
That gives me the freedom to live a life I love.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
Now it's my mission to help as many entrepreneurs as
I can elevate their brand, increase their income, and reclaim
their time. Join me and guest experts as we share
our transparent journeys, work smart and not hard, strategies, and
the behind the scenes of running a successful brand and business.
Speaker 3 (00:51):
You're tuned in to the Self Life CEO.
Speaker 2 (00:53):
Hallie Ray, Welcome, Welcome, Welcome. We are so happy to
have you here. Thank you.
Speaker 1 (00:57):
I'm so happy to be here. You are a part
of my journey through everything, so nowhere else I'd want
to be.
Speaker 2 (01:02):
Really walk us through your whole entrepreneurial journey and how
you got to where you are right now in real estate.
Speaker 1 (01:07):
So I definitely like to start off with saying where
I'm from because I am originally from South Dakota. Like
I grew up there, I went to college there. I
knew I was never meant to be there, though I
knew that eventually I would move away and all my
family would have to come visit me to see them,
and I just knew that for me, I wasn't going
(01:30):
to be your forever South Dakota girls. So kind of
always was a black sheep when it came to traditional
thinking and traditional mindset with what made me happy and
what I wanted to reach towards. Most of my family
got married to their high school sweetheart and they are
still working the job they went to college for, which
(01:52):
is amazing. I love that for them, they're very happy people.
I mean, I aspired to be like them in many ways,
but for many ways we are different. And one of
the biggest differences in US is I am a dreamer.
I think that ultimately all of my ideas have come
(02:12):
through my desire to just know I'm capable of more
and know that I have I have leadership veins in
me that is meant to guide others two more, even
if it's not necessarily in being a strict like teacher,
but through inspiration in my actions and just honestly having
(02:35):
a spirit of excellence and all the things I do,
and it just carries over so a little of my journey.
I did go to nursing school. I had no idea
that I wanted to be a nurse. Honestly, it was
just a job. I knew I could get paid and
go to work, and it wasn't much thought to it.
It's not necessarily a very hard job. It is a
(02:56):
tiring job, but you basically just have to show up
and do a decent job, and you can be a
nurse as long as you graduate and go to school.
But there was a point in time where even people
were asking me, like, you know, just so inquisitive about me,
my personality, the things I liked, like almost knew that
I wasn't really fit to be a nurse, even though
(03:18):
I was a good nurse. It was more so just
because I had so many interest and I just liked
to do other things outside of my job. When a
lot of people's lives became their job, I was more
interested in creating outside of work, and through this and
wanting to have like some balance, especially mentally, I started painting.
(03:42):
So painting for me, honestly wasn't meant to be a job.
It was more so something to relieve my mind, something
to share with my followers and my friends. And it, honestly,
very quickly through already kind of having built a brand
and already built a social media community. It wasn't a
(04:03):
very large one. I probably had maybe I don't know,
maybe five to ten thousand followers. I have around like
twenty two thousand right now. But during this time when
I was painting, I would share and people like, oh,
like how much is that for sale? And I was like,
what for sale? Like, I'm just paying this for fun.
(04:23):
So very quickly this churned into I became an events girl.
I became a person that started curating vibes to have
different local books and companies and places where I could
curate not just an art show, but a place where
(04:44):
people wanted to come hang out and honestly want to
take pictures and want to say I was there, and
that quickly turned into where a majority of my brand
and personality and just my career started driving into more
of So I was still nursing, and I was still
(05:07):
very grateful that I had a job to facilitate my
hobby and my passions. And I knew that I was
growing out of my nursing job through mostly my efforts
that were bringing me in as much income that I
was making nursing. So at a certain point I decided
I would no longer be a full time nurse and
(05:27):
I would just work part time jobs and part time
assignments to give me a little comfort. As my art
it was a little more difficult to have a consistency.
And honestly, since I've now become a full time realtor
and like have a real business, I sometimes reflect on
if I would have given myself the efforts I put
(05:48):
into my real estate business had I done these things
as an artist, I probably would have been much more successful.
And I still I am an artist. I just don't
really spend as much time in my business right now
that I do in real estate. And I do very
much believe that you know you your effort and your
energy can't go one hundred percent into completely different businesses.
(06:12):
They can intertwine, but there is one that ends up
being ultimately your baby and one that you're dominantly known as.
So I feel like the more successful I become as
a realtor, the more I'll be able to incorporate art
and I'll be able to have a branch that facilitates
that career as well. But yeah, So I dove into
(06:36):
my first ever investment property as an artist because it
was the first time I ever had more than like
maybe five thousand dollars in my account, maybe ten maybe
some amount I can't remember. And I was like, you
know what, I want to get into real estate. I
had a great friend also want to breeze clients and
friends that became my great friend that taught me how
(06:58):
to purchase my purse first duplex, and through that learning process,
I fell in love with real estate. And I was like,
I want to be wealthy through real estate, and I
want to be wealthy through teaching people what I learned
as an investor. And I got into I made the
decision to do sales in like thirty days. I was like,
(07:18):
all right, I'm stopping everything. I'm going to do sales
in real estate. I took my license and from there
I literally have had my foot on the gas. And
it's been about sixteen months since that day, and yeah,
I feel like I'm going to be a reltor forever.
Speaker 3 (07:34):
I feel like I was just at Calli's art show or.
Speaker 2 (07:37):
I even think the late I didn't make the one
that happened right before you got into real estate. I
remember seeing it on Instagram.
Speaker 3 (07:44):
I was like, oh my gosh, vibes per usual.
Speaker 2 (07:47):
And then it was like a week goes by and
Callie's like, yeah, I'm I'm about to get my real
estate license and I'm like, girl, what And then before
you know it, her brand, her social her website, all
of the things.
Speaker 3 (07:59):
It's like it happenednight.
Speaker 2 (08:01):
So Callie's story is a great example to why when
you have the feeling to do something, why you should
just do it. Because everything that she did led to
the place where she's at now, even when she mentioned
the whole art thing, if she didn't go in on
this art situation, and I remember we had that conversation
(08:22):
like sitting on your coulture, like I don't know, Brite,
like this is scary, like to just be like I'm
an artist now, like who does that?
Speaker 3 (08:29):
And I was like, you do, and she did and
that led to her getting to where she is now.
Speaker 2 (08:34):
So I always tell people this goes for dating as well,
right Like, when you date, if it doesn't work out,
you're one man closer to the man you're supposed to
be with. Same thing, with purpose and with positioning. Not
every position is for the long call, but it will
get you to the next position and the next position
to really get you to where you want to be.
(08:54):
So Callie is such a great example of how when
you commit and show up for yourself, things happen. So
I just admire your hard work and I'm really excited
to kind of talk about your routines and different things
because you know, fitness is one thing, right, It's like, yes,
we all want to look good and feel good. But when,
especially as an entrepreneur, when you can commit to yourself in.
Speaker 3 (09:16):
A physical way, it trickles.
Speaker 2 (09:18):
Down mentally, emotionally and helps you be a better leader,
be a better business owner, better boss. So my first
question for you, Calli is with the transition and you
now being at the point where you have this business,
you're in real estate, you know that you only make
money if you show up and if you close these
deals and if you make it happen. It's a lot
(09:40):
of networking, it's a lot of talking. There's a lot
of leading your team. How do you juggle being full
time in that position and then making sure that you're
showing up in all the other ways? Because for those
of you listening, CALLI has an amazing boyfriend. Shout out
to Earle, and he has a little girl, and so
she in this role of step mom. How do you
(10:02):
show up in all of these other roles and then
still make sure that you're showing up for yourself? What
are the things that you do to commit to your
own wellness and development?
Speaker 1 (10:12):
Totally okay, So this is a very complex answer, but
there's two things that I rely on solely. And the
number one thing for sure, if anyone wants to ask
me in passing is pre planning. Everything comes down to
pre planning. And I will say that a lot of
(10:33):
the times when I make plans or I coordinate a
schedule or time blocking, whatever it is, sometimes I just
get the the high from creating the plan, and the
hard part is actually executing the plan right. A lot
of us can say all right, it's Sunday, I'm gonna
do this on Monday, I'm gonna do that on Tuesday,
this on Wednesday, this on Thursday, and you're maybe struggling
(10:56):
with like, all right, how do I actually do what
I say I'm going to do? But the fifty percent
of the battle is a lot of people aren't even
actually making that plan. So number one, the most important
thing is I tell people that once you can actually
coordinate the time to make it happen instead of just
waiting for the moment to decide or figure out when,
(11:18):
or figure out what, you're giving your brain not only
the path to follow, but you're also allowing it to
have more space to think about the more important things
and the more concrete things that you should be saying,
should I make time for this or that? Or is
this important? Or isn't that important? And your brain already
has a commitment and a space and a plan. So
(11:41):
for me, my planning takes place literally like the schedule
like this call is like everybody got a message for
this call. We all had to be on a certain time,
a doctor's appointment, have to be there at nine o'clock.
I will literally set in my calendar. It's called my
CEO meeting, and I have it with myself and it's
literally my date. I say an hour, I usually need
(12:02):
two hours to plan everything, and that's what days I'm
working out, what workouts I'm doing, what time I'm doing
the workout, and then also planning around the workout what
things are important, because for me, also things that matter
are am I going to dinner that night? Okay? So
I need to I'm like, okay, am I going to
(12:23):
be washing my hair? How long do I have ready
to get ready? Am I going to be showering after
that workout? Do I have to go right to an
Errand what errands do I have to run that week?
Do I have to attend an event? So I'm planning
out literally every little detail, so when the opportunity comes,
I can't already make the excuse to say, oh shoot,
I'm signed up for hot yoga at six o'clock, but
(12:44):
I'm supposed to go to dinner at seven, So I'm
just going to cancel the hot yoga. No, you already
have it figured out, And yeah, of course you get
invited last minute or things happen and plans change and
I think that there are sometimes sacrifices we can make
for working out out, but most of the time it
shouldn't come any important then anything else you have to
(13:05):
do that's important in your work, schedule, your life. And
you know, the older you get and the more mature
you get, the more that people start to be confident
in what you say is your boundary, with your timing
and honestly not even explaining yourself like I literally say,
I apologize, I'm unable to make it this time, can't
wait to see you the next not I'm going to
(13:27):
skip my workout. I'll do it again tomorrow.
Speaker 2 (13:31):
Get my free training from Hustler to Self Life CEO,
which includes my untold Entrepreneurial Journey, The Soft Life CEO Roadmap,
am I winning recipe for elevating your brand, increasing your
income and reclaiming your time. Head over to the Soft
Life Ceo dot com backslash free training. No one thing
that you do that I love and I feel like
I do a good job of doing this, but I
(13:53):
sometimes say yes to too much at one time. But
you're very clear on your boundaries, and you're clear to
the point where when you communicate it, it doesn't come
across mean.
Speaker 3 (14:03):
Or like oh I'm not important, she doesn't love me.
Speaker 2 (14:06):
It's like this is necessary for me to get through
the day. And so I'm going to bring up an
example because I was like when you did this to me,
I was like.
Speaker 3 (14:14):
Yes, Callie, like I love this for you. So I
had called CALLI. I was like, hey, girl, call me,
or it was.
Speaker 2 (14:20):
Something random like I just wanted to say hi, or
I think we got we ended a call early because
you had to go do something. So I was just
calling to be like we didn't finish our call, and
Callie texted me and she's like, girl.
Speaker 3 (14:32):
I've been talking to people literally all day. I need
to just go take a walk and like like stop
talking and stop thinking and just like be alone for
a minute.
Speaker 2 (14:39):
So like I'll catch you later, right, And I was
like absolutely, like girl, call me, would we have time.
But it's stuff like that that makes a big difference,
not just in your day to day life but in
your business because you have to know what things to
say no to and like when to stand your ground
and choose yourself first. And I always tell people saying
no to someone or something else is always going to
(15:02):
result in you saying yes. To you, and that that
skill of knowing what to say no to is so
so game changing as an entrepreneur. So definitely take a
page out of Callie's book. Do not be afraid to
tell these hefas no. And you can also apologize and
explain why if you want to, but you all have to.
(15:23):
You could be like not answering. I'll get back to
that person tomorrow. So boundaries are everything. Speaking of boundaries, CALLI,
do you have like any type of like ritual for
your morning routine or your night routine that really helps
you have the most productive days.
Speaker 1 (15:42):
Yes, So again, like I said, planning number one most
important thing when I have my week planning, that's step one.
Step two is daily planning. And in my step one
the CEO meeting, I'm obviously committing to five days a
week morning routine. Now obviously, like I'm human, that's the
best week. Like obviously if I can, if I do
(16:03):
it five days in a whole week for one hour,
I'm setting aside my morning routine that is like I
get five stars. There are times where I'm either a
traveling or be I was up really late the night
before and I do have to like just get dressed
and go right away in the morning. But who I
strive to be in the best most fulfilled person I
(16:27):
feel every day is when I am committing to five
days a week for my morning routine. So the morning
routine is the game changer. Like that is where I
give all of my that's my secret sauce, Like it's
not a secret. Actually it's not my idea. There's many
books in podcasts, everyone says it it's all about there's
(16:47):
so much research and so much that shows in the
morning we are our most highest version of ourselves. We
have yet not expended energy. We are. It is before
the hour where people are calling you, texting you. I mean,
this is also the morning in which possibly even the
(17:09):
sun hasn't even come up, your cortisol levels are its highest.
It's when you can honestly say, like this is about me.
There's nothing that can distract me. But it's me in
my time, in my moment and for me. Not only
is the morning routine great for figuring out what I
need to do for the day. Honestly, I usually will
(17:29):
say during that weekly routine, I'm already I already kind
of know what's going on for the day. In the morning.
The morning is more set up for me to be
present and be still and also be able to hear,
because so constantly throughout the days in my life, I'm
always planning. I'm figuring out this answer. I'm planning that,
(17:56):
I'm reciting this, I'm scheduling that, I'm making sure this
is good. And it's that hour, that commitment of resting receiving.
I mean, there's actually a Matthew McConaughey's book. He refers
to it as wonder time in the morning. One hour
of wonder time where we allow ourselves to receive, whether
(18:20):
it's through prayer, whether it's through your journal, whether it's
through you know, your wonder time is really where you
can be still and not distracted and have clarity on
you know, maybe you don't even know what you need
clarity on, or maybe you do have something that you
actually need to specifically come up with an idea. I mean,
(18:42):
that's how I created the women's self care rooms. In
my morning routines, I would have journal prompts that would
I'd work in reverse from six months backwards. How would
I do something? And all of a sudden it came
out through my morning routine because I couldn't do it
while I was working. I couldn't plan that while I
(19:05):
was you know, driving from place to place, attending birthday
parties and doing all these things, because I wasn't inspired
during those moments and in that hour. And we can
talk more too about what that looks like how do
you get creatively woke and pray and all those things,
(19:25):
and how to really break it down. But I will
say more so, it's just the act of setting the time,
and it's not setting it like in the afternoon or
the evening. Like if you do, you know, maybe work
overnight shifts. Yeah, I could see someone that maybe has
to reorganize it to the time. But even if you
(19:45):
you know, are a nurse and you start at seven am,
A lot of times I would help those girls. I
would say, maybe only one of your workshift days you
do the morning routine and then the other five days
are on your day off, are two days work.
Speaker 2 (20:02):
No. I definitely that morning situation what I have found
because I was like, oh, maybe I could do workouts
in the evening, or I could do this, or I
could do that. What you said about the morning, like
that is the time when we really are at our best,
we're undistracted, we're the most motivated. And when I saw
a shift in how I acted and thought as a
(20:25):
business owner and as a leader in my business was
when I committed myself to at least four to five
days a week, committing to a morning routine where I
could be inspired, because.
Speaker 3 (20:36):
Like Callie said, in the morning, like I get.
Speaker 2 (20:38):
My best ideas when I'm in the shower doing my
prayer and worship, Like I feel like God just shows
up in my bathtub and He's.
Speaker 3 (20:47):
Just like giving me all these different things.
Speaker 2 (20:50):
And you know, some of the things are just nuggets
that you know, you make a note of and you
sit down, but years later you're like, wow, when that
seed was planted. I was doing all these things because
I was moving intentionally with that thought in the back
of my head. And so many people are just jumping
from job to pick up their kids, to be with
their man, to go to that party, to happy hour
(21:11):
to that. They're just constantly doing, and they're never showing
up and serving the one person who matters the most,
which is themselves. So, as Cali mentioned, having that time
where it's uninterrupted, you're not responding to other people, but
you're doing and giving to yourself so that you can
be the best version of you is so so important
as an entrepreneur. And you did say you were like,
(21:33):
you know, we could go into more detail about what
that looks like. So if our listeners are you know,
maybe they're like, okay, I get it, wake up, have
a morning routine, but like, what are the things that
they can do to really tap into their inspiration and
their motivation.
Speaker 3 (21:48):
Do you have any.
Speaker 2 (21:49):
Tools that you use or any tips that you can
give for sure?
Speaker 1 (21:52):
So your morning routine actually starts. For me, the morning
routine actually happens. Whether it happens or not, is it
how I set my night up? So it's like, okay,
you thought that at the started of the morning. No,
it actually starts at night. So you have to have
two setups you have to have for me if I
I mean, I've heard people as dramatic as saying they
sleep in their gym cloths. I personally think that that's
(22:15):
not realistic and it's not attainable long term.
Speaker 3 (22:17):
It's not comfortable.
Speaker 1 (22:19):
Yeah, no, absolutely not. I mean I work out in
like little matching two pieces. But I will say that
you know, whatever it is that works for you. This
is obviously my blueprint of an idea that you should.
I will say through many people i've helped go through
this and also myself, this is pretty much if you
(22:41):
try not to mingle it too much, it will give
you the results you want, but you know, adjust as
you need. Yeah, but at night is when you really
decide whether you're going to do that morning routine or not.
So it is really planning your day around not only
what time do you start to prepare for bed, but
what time you actually go to bed. So for me,
(23:04):
a lot of times, the issue with people is is
that they're not doing their morning routine because they're going
to bed too late. So they're starting their night with
The number one thing I tell people and then has
helped me inconsistency in being consistent is not being on
my phone before I go to bed. My phone is
not in the room. No, yeah, literally my charger, Like
(23:27):
I can see it on my little kitchen over there.
I don't keep my charger in the room. This was
something I thought at one point that I would never
be able to do long term. I just like tried
it and I was so used to my brain was
correlated my bed with my phone and buy my dresser,
and it creates this habit and this almost comfort that
(23:49):
when you're in your room and on your bed, your
bed should think sleep. It's yea be related to screen time,
scroll time, honestly, anything really other than bedtime and maybe
maybe some TV. I mean maybe conversation with your spouse
if that's when you guys have your time, but definitely
not engaging your brain in a way that makes you
(24:13):
not only be able to not sleep well, but also
stay up longer than when you're really tired. Because most
of the time it's like we just set our phone down,
we usually fall asleep. So Number one, that time routine,
setting your phone in another room. This is like probably
some people are like, oh, that's like a big jump,
you can get into it. I mean I have done.
(24:33):
This is like something I've done for over a year
and I've never gone back. No, not a bad habits still,
so I'm not perfect, you know. That's just one that
I have maintained and I do consistently. Number two is
actually setting out for me. I have like a little
organizer behind my door where my closet is that sets
(24:55):
in each pocket. It's like a shoe organizer, but I
use it for clothes. I put each outfit inside the pocket.
So every single day, when I get up, literally my underwear,
I throw them on and I just pull out the outfit,
brush my teeth, and then I do my morning routine
with my gym clothes on, because as soon as the
morning routine's over, I'm out the door. So another thing
(25:18):
that's really helpful for people to go straight to work
after their morning routine is having their food and their
bag packed at night. So in your fridge. That would
mean you have your snacks either prepared or your food prepared,
or you know exactly what it is that you're going
to do when you leave in the morning, it's already
(25:39):
just to grab, put in your bag and go and preferably,
you know, if you also have to shower from your gym,
that you would bring, you know, your change of clothes
that would also be set aside and ready. And these
are some things that people in the CEO meeting would
maybe even set out for the week to help them prepare,
especially people that have children, because they're having to dress
(26:01):
their kids and do all these you know, a lot
of a lot of thinking, a lot of steps. So
again nighttime routine, phone away lunch, organize lunch in the fridge,
and just planning the next day at night and also
not well. This is definitely a big step for me.
My issue was having Alexa be my alarm, because I
(26:25):
would you can, yes, you can. You have to get up.
You have to have a real alarm, and you have
to have it not next to your dresser.
Speaker 3 (26:34):
Mm hmm.
Speaker 1 (26:35):
So for me, it's in the bathroom because it makes
me get up and the best thing you could ever do.
And I'll like have a competition with myself in my head,
and I'll think about someone else that is putting their
feet on the ground and getting up immediately, and I'm
deciding to lay there or be more tired. And honestly,
I'll have maybe nights or days where I didn't sleep
(26:59):
good and I'll be like, oh, I need to catch
up on my sleep. I will literally tell myself, you
are going to suffer your day, and it's the only
way you're gonna tell tell yourself to go to bed
earlier the next day. Maybe at your feet. It'll make
you take yourself more seriously to go to bed earlier. Yeah,
(27:20):
a planned night out or a planned you know, you know,
but not because of mindlessly scrolling, not because of you know,
too many glasses of wine or binging a Netflix show.
The truth is all this stuff. If you're already on
this call, like you're already someone that is another level
(27:42):
of like motivated and disciplined. And as we know, like
people that people that are unsuccessful, they focus more on
delay and they focus on bargaining the future. People that
are successful, they sacker. And these are sacrifices that are like, okay,
(28:04):
it sounds like a lot, it is a lot, but
little by little, over time it becomes majority of your
normalcy and not what's motivating you or what's making you
have the energy to do it. So now into your
morning routine, you woke up, you put your feet on
the floor. I always tell people to break it down
(28:25):
one hour, and you break your hour down in fifteen
minute increments. And the best way to break your fifteen
minute increment is first by giving your body. Probably one
thing we don't do when we work out is mindfulness
and non non pressed exertion. That is actually not meant
(28:49):
to be about calories and burning out. It is meant
to be of more slow gratitude and Honestly, one thing
we are most all day is too tight. We should
be stretching, we should be opening up, we should be expanding.
It might be foam rolling, yoga, just stretching, tennis, ball
(29:12):
under your foot, whatever, it is, fifteen minutes of that,
and it's also your time to really wake up, because
what I've noticed is if you go straight to reading
or praying, you're too tired and you're not really awake yet.
Actually I skip the first fifteen minute. The first fifty
minute is actually making your bed, brushing your teeth, drinking water,
(29:35):
putting your clothes on, getting yourself organized, maybe making your
cup of coffee. I don't suggest drinking it first thing,
but you could make, you know, have your pot ready
or however you do it, and then getting right into
your stretch. And then after your stretch, this is thirty
minutes have passed. So say it's now six thirty. You
(29:57):
have from six thirty to seven to completely dedicate to
no phone time, completely you your book, your journal, and
your prayer. And this is where you can do so
many things, from writing your gratitude lists, from reflecting on yesterday,
from setting your intentions for the day, not necessarily working
(30:21):
to plan your day like, oh, I need to meet
this person at this time due this is that. More so,
today I intend to pray over a stranger in the
elevator and take my mind off myself for a second,
to not rush so much that I can't speak to
the front desk person because I gotta go. I gotta go,
I gotta go. I intend to, you know, say three
(30:43):
kind things to myself every time I even have a
negative intention or thought. Today, I intend to not complain
to myseluse about anything that I have go on today.
That type of these prompts in mentality will trigger you
to have something to meditate on all days that will
(31:04):
open up, you know, again, just that spirit of excellence
in you to help you change and transition your automatic
thoughts which are eighty percent ninety percent negative and belittling
and fear based. And this just helps you know, it
doesn't necessarily completely change your day, but I promise that
(31:27):
when maybe you're in a street encounter and you want
to plut someone off or you want to cut someone off,
you will have a little essence of like that person
is with you and you're thinking like that, that would
be so opposite of like who that person is and
(31:47):
who I want to be to have that action, and
it'll create more of a responsive person in you than
a reactive person in you. And it's it will ultimately
help build better choices and all the things you do
which will influence you know, eating, fitness, conversations, relationships. It
(32:10):
all trickles from that one hour in the first start
of your day through doing it consistently.
Speaker 2 (32:20):
Kali, there's no there's so much to touch on.
Speaker 3 (32:23):
That was so good.
Speaker 2 (32:25):
I first want to I want to shout this out
because if you're someone who struggles with mindfulness and kind
of like what Cally was talking about, like, it can
be hard if you're starting at the beginning to know exactly.
Speaker 3 (32:37):
What to work on, or what to tell yourself or
what to meditate on.
Speaker 2 (32:40):
And this is something that helped me. And it was
actually a video of Callie on her balcony with her
yoga Matt and her. I think it was like a
guided prayer journal or something, and you were like writing
in it and doing stuff and I was like, I
have that journal that I've been meaning to get back to,
and I was like, I'm skipping the part of my
morning where I just slow down. I stretch and I'm
(33:02):
mindful because like, yeah, I guess technically I'm mindful when
I'm working out and I'm listening to the podcast.
Speaker 3 (33:07):
But you're kind of multitasking, right, You're doing two things
at once. And the whole point of the podcast is
to help me get through the workout that I don't
really want to do.
Speaker 2 (33:15):
So it's like combining to you know, something I enjoy
with something that's hard that I don't necessarily enjoy, but
I know that I need. And I was like, before
doing that, I need to get in the right headspace
because I need to be able to appreciate that I
am healthy to even go to the gym and work out.
Some people are missing limbs, some people are sick and
in the hospital. So I need to be grateful that
(33:37):
I have the opportunity to go and work on my
body in the gym. And so I saw the video Cali,
and I was like, I'm going to pull out that journal.
I want to shout this journal out because this has
helped me with my morning routine. And as Callie said,
like her routine is very similar to mine. My phone
stays in the bathroom, it is not on Hey Siries,
stop playing, I have to physically get up. And as
(33:58):
I go in there, instead of turning it off, because
I actually wake up to oceans where feet may fail
by Hillsong United, instead of having to turn off my
alarm and mess up the flow, I walk in and
the music is playing.
Speaker 3 (34:12):
I instantly brush my teeth, I put on my clothes.
Speaker 2 (34:14):
I leave my phone, and I go into the other room,
pull out my mat, pull out my journal, and I
continue that song as I'm stretching and as I'm meditating
on whatever the scripture is of that day.
Speaker 3 (34:26):
So it is Shannon Roberts, The Prayer Journal for Women.
It's a fifty two week scripture scripture.
Speaker 2 (34:32):
We actually did this me CALLI and all of our
friends for our Bible study, our guided Bible study. But
we never made it through the full fifty two weeks,
and so I restarted it. And what's great is that
it gives you a scripture for the day, and then
it actually asks you questions, and it says like, how
have you been an example of God's love in your
life lately? What can you do better to show God's
(34:54):
love in all ways? You know all the people that
are in your life. What things can you be more
mindful of today, knowing that this is the message that
you're receiving. And as I'm stretching, instead of writing it down,
I more so think about it and meditate on it.
And then when you flip it, there's a prayer request,
a praise report, a God put this on my heart,
(35:17):
or God guide me to do this. So it's all
these things that then I sit down, and after my
body's warmed up, then I write all of those different
things just so that before I get in the gym,
my head is in the right place and I'm reminded
of my why, I'm reminded of why I'm so blessed,
and why I want to show up for myself and
for others. So I absolutely love everything that Kylie said.
(35:38):
I think the biggest game changer for me was the
phone situation, because putting your phone away and not having
it bedside gives you the authority to turn your brain
off and to get rid of all distractions and give
yourself the permission to rest. And I think, though often
we are distracted, and your phone being there, even if
(36:01):
you are a very much dedicated or committed or disciplined person,
why have it there? You know, it's it's just it's
just gonna end up distracting you because you might pick
up the phone and instead of looking at social media,
it might be work related. All of the things they
just need to go away. So I absolutely loved, loved,
loved that. The other thing that Calie mentioned, which I
(36:23):
really loved is when it comes to having your morning routine,
so many people make mistakes, make not mistakes, They make
excuses the morning of because they're like, oh, well, I
went to bed three hours later than I was supposed to,
so I'm just going to go back to sleep and
I'll try again tomorrow. It's like, no, if you get
up and you commit to your daily routine, guess what,
(36:45):
you're going to be tired, and you're going to be
mad that you didn't go to sleep when you were
supposed to. And that negative reinforcement will force you to
make a better decision that night because you know what
happened today, and so it like it reinstates the initial
mission that you had and the initial plan that you
wanted to commit to.
Speaker 3 (37:04):
And I've had to do that as well.
Speaker 2 (37:06):
And as much as I know Callie and I probably
are on the same page with listening to your body
and giving yourself enough rest.
Speaker 3 (37:12):
There is a period of time where you're kind of
training yourself.
Speaker 2 (37:14):
You have to get rid of these bad habits and
you have to learn and adopt new ones, and that
takes time and you have to really just focus on
training yourself. So I absolutely love that. That was really
great and Callie, I do normally wait to the end
to go into Q and A with our community, but
Snaya had a question resulting the morning and night routine
(37:36):
that I feel like it only makes sense to talk
about it now, So she said, quick question, This may
be silly, but what do you guys think is a
healthy time when it comes to going to sleep? How
much sleep should you actually receive as a mom, wife,
an entrepreneur. I'm asking because it seems like I'm always
sacrificing something.
Speaker 3 (37:53):
Oh I feel you girl, I'm let Callie start. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (37:57):
Well, first of all, I think that that is is
something that really is a question. I will honestly ask
people what they feel best when they get this amount
of sleep. And the truth is a lot of times
people are blaming the amount of sleep that they're getting
on why they're tired, and the truth is the reason
why they're tired is because they're not dedicating any awake
(38:20):
time to rest, and their mind never has a moment
to actually even feel at rest or at peace because
it's in constant fight or flight mode and it's in
constant preparing planning mode. So it's not that your body
actually you know, think of like a fuel tank. Like
a fuel tank needs one hundred percent fuel to it
(38:42):
doesn't mean it can't perform well at forty percent. It
still performs well at the same it just needs to
have one hundred percent to be at capacity. So to
really answer your question, I would say it depends on you.
But I would say if you're if you're consistently getting
seven hours, you may not need eight. Some people say
they need eight they feel great, but I would say
(39:05):
anything less than seven, you're you're you're giving you you
don't have enough boundaries because there shouldn't be there. You
should either be working new habits in your partner's time together,
whether it be like you know, something we had struggle
with in the past was we really only have from
like eight to ten o'clock together. So it's like that
(39:28):
goes really fast with dinner, maybe a show like it
goes really fast. So a lot of times what was
happening was we would sacrifice that time to spend more
time together because we wanted to be in our enjoy
time together. But that just meant we either had to
sacrifice other things or plan more day nights, and also
(39:50):
very important, we had to plan. I don't know how
old your children are, our child is, but did the
child had to be asleep or at least in her
room by the time that we had our alone time,
so I could say, you can stay awake. I'm not
you know. The thing was for me. I like to
go to bed. When you go to bed. No, if
you're going to stay awake and play the game or
(40:11):
watch TV, you do that. I'm going to lay down.
I will see you in the morning. And I can't
wait for Friday when we can, you know, be up
till one in the morning and do whatever we want.
But it's also making sure that your time together is intentional.
You're still nursing, I see that every three hours. Okay,
so seven months and three year olds, so you have
clearly very more meeting children. So I would say having
(40:37):
a three year old or a three month old is
like just a totally non unrealistic time of life. It's
like not even comparable to the average person or really
having boundaries and goals and all those things. I would say,
I'm assuming maybe you are not actually like you don't
have a day to day job, like you're either working
(40:58):
from home or you're making a break for a period
of time. I would say, honestly, during this time where
you are having such need for children that you are
really releasing anything other than your kids, your needs and
very minimal commitments, and you're making time when you can
(41:19):
during these moments to plan for what you're going to
do that is going to be more of your driven spirit,
more of your goal setting spirit for a later time,
and using this time to say, I just want to
use this time to learn myself, be able to be
gentle to myself and form habits that are around being
(41:41):
nice to myself, and then really and utilizing you know,
clearly you're already a step ahead to be committing to
this hour, and you know giving yourself that commitment of
saying this season is going to be of commitment and
of discipline, but it's going to be geared towards different things.
I'm not going to put so much pressure to it
(42:02):
being my personal future career. It's going to be my
personal spiritual development, my kindness to myself, my gentleness to myself.
You still have to plan those things, you still have
to organize it and make it a priority. But to
say right now that you would be on the same
(42:23):
energy level of who you should be in maybe six
months in coordinating and organizing those things would be You're
going to spin out. It's just not It's not possible.
And I think that's when we get into our our
achievement drives, are worth and our identity, and you know,
(42:43):
I would just say giving yourself time and grace and
gentleness to go through the next like three to six
months of this space.
Speaker 2 (42:53):
Yeah. I'm a firm believer in we live in seasons,
and every season looks a little different, even for people
who aren't raising a newborn baby. I think we all
in a year's time have seasons where there's a season
of hustle, where we are super dedicated and maybe our
(43:13):
priority is our business, and then there's a season of
more rest is the priority and it's more of that mindfulness.
And although every season all of these things are still
a part of our life, it should have an EBB
and flow that makes sense for where you are in
life right now.
Speaker 3 (43:30):
So having a seven month old and a.
Speaker 2 (43:32):
Three year old and having to nurse every three hours,
I think what Cally talked about in terms of planning
and something that I'm going to mention, which is kind
of assigning a theme to the days of your week,
could be very helpful. So essentially saying that you know
on a daily basis what your children need. Right you
pretty much have a schedule for them. At seven months,
(43:54):
the baby should be on some sort of schedule, I'm assuming.
If not, I'm sorry, But if they are on some
sort of schedule where you at least know their needs,
then it's okay. What is mama's needs, What is mama's
needs as a woman, What is mama's needs as a
business owner? What are my needs when it comes to
making sure that I'm showing up.
Speaker 3 (44:13):
As the best mom possible.
Speaker 2 (44:15):
And then understanding that if you are only prioritizing your
children and not yourself, you're really not prioritizing your children
because you have to come first. So making sure that
you are setting and sacrificing certain things within your day
to day so that you are giving yourself what you
need and understanding that your rest white right now just
looks a little bit different. But my theme of giving
(44:37):
each day of the week a theme has been really
helpful for me because it allows me to assign each
day a purpose to where if nothing happens and only
this thing happens, I had.
Speaker 3 (44:47):
A great day. And where you are with.
Speaker 2 (44:49):
Your business, I would love to book a one on
one call with you and learn more about what you're doing,
because in the time of having a newborn, where your
schedule's all over the place, this is the best time
for you to start to imp workflows and systems and
automations in your business so that you're not feeling like
you're sacrificing your time in order to make your income.
Because hello, if you have these babies who are like mommy, mommy, mommy,
(45:12):
you're trying to do it all and so the goal
is work smart, not hard. So I would love to
know more, and I would just say send me a
private message so that you can give me a little
bit more info and maybe we could do a one
on one call and get you in a better flow
of things. But as Colly said, for sleeping, I think
you have to test it out.
Speaker 3 (45:29):
Like what I had to do.
Speaker 2 (45:30):
I tested like for one week I was going to
attempt six hours, and then for the next week seven
and the next week eight, And what I found out
was eight is too much, six is too little. Seven
to seven and a half has me right in my
happy place. But I also realize that I have this
thing where if I wake up in the middle of
the night, I feel more well rested when I wake up,
And I don't know what it is, if it's a
(45:51):
mental thing. When I wake up and I'm like, oh yay,
I get to go back to sleep, it like it
feels like such joy.
Speaker 3 (45:58):
I'm like, there read more hours. So you have to
figure out what works best for you.
Speaker 2 (46:04):
So just try to test it out, especially once the
baby is sleeping and you're not having to nurse every
three hours. But hopefully that information helped. I want to
jump over to some of our other q and as
from our members because we have some really great questions.
Speaker 3 (46:18):
So Callie Ray.
Speaker 2 (46:19):
What advice would you give to someone who is just
starting their fitness journey and they are a full time
entrepreneur or living a busy life. What are some tips
or tricks that you can give them for implementing fitness
for the first time consistently.
Speaker 1 (46:36):
Okay, so I'm going to go right back into getting
having a consistent morning routine and using the CEO meeting
one hour a week to coordinate schedule what workouts, what days,
what times, and even your outfits. I mean it may
(46:57):
not be Monday, is this outfit Tuesday's OUTBT, but having
them all and ready so you have minimal excuse and
honestly just reminding yourself that that you cannot rely on
the motivation. You have to rely on the discipline, and
that's your schedule.
Speaker 2 (47:13):
And how many days a week, how many days a
week would you recommend for someone that's starting that they
should try to actually work out?
Speaker 1 (47:22):
I would say four days a week.
Speaker 3 (47:24):
For Yeah, that was a personal question.
Speaker 1 (47:26):
I was just curious days a week.
Speaker 2 (47:28):
Yeah, all right, Next question, what keeps you motivated on
days when you're particularly tired or quote unquote too busy.
Speaker 1 (47:37):
Discipline, your discipline, And honestly, for me, I don't have
the ability to sacrifice emotional serotonin, happiness, joy. That's what
drives me to do and be great. And honestly, the
quote and the confidence that I get when I think
(47:59):
of how you do anything is how you do everything
is so prominent to me, Like I wouldn't really say
this to a client, but if I was neck and
neck to another realtor and they were like frumpy and overweight,
It's like, why would you trust them over me? I
(48:19):
get shit done like ooh second. And I'm not saying
that that means I'm better than them as a realtor,
but it shows a lot of commitment and just excellence
to the things you do and commit to, you know,
without you know, obviously being overly. You know, obviously a
(48:40):
fitness trainer and a fitness influencer and a gym trainer
is going to be the most fit in the room.
Of course, Like.
Speaker 2 (48:48):
Listen, what she said about how you do anything is
how you do everything. The reason why this has me
like listen is because I just went through something with
an employee where it's like, you know, if this is
how you do this for me, everything else is off
the table because it shows like your work ethic in
(49:09):
anything that you do will.
Speaker 3 (49:11):
Make or break the result that you get from it.
Speaker 2 (49:13):
So I know a lot of us are listening to
this because we want to stick to our fitness goals.
But like, the point is that how you show up
and commit to yourself in this way, it will trickle
down to everything else.
Speaker 3 (49:25):
So absolutely cally insane.
Speaker 2 (49:27):
It's like, as much as we don't want to say,
you know, we're being compared. We are constantly being compared.
And so if someone is looking at you and your
brand and they're deciding if they're going to go with
you or the next guy, everything matters, Everything matters, and
the way that you.
Speaker 1 (49:44):
Have to not choose you honestly.
Speaker 2 (49:46):
Absolutely absolutely, Oh that's so so good. Okay, Next, what
are your top tips for maintaining a balance between work
and personal life?
Speaker 3 (49:57):
Are you ready to go from hustler to soft life ceo?
I'm here to help.
Speaker 2 (50:01):
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where I provide weekly events such as group coaching, calls,
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Get access to members only in person events and discounts
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(50:24):
for thirty days free access.
Speaker 1 (50:26):
Top tips will be again having a commitment towards morning routine,
your CEO, meeting your boundaries, and also truly being clear
on what it is that brings you joy, because a
lot of the times we don't even know what makes
us happy. We are just so familiar with our decisions
(50:50):
and our choices and our movement that we have lost
sight of what brings us joy. Like for example, I
have come to realize that I actually don't find joy
in every night laying on the couch and watching TV
just because I get time with my boyfriend. I actually
(51:11):
enjoy like going out for walks and going on bike
rides and you know, getting out of the house that
I just was so familiar with doing that when I
got home from work because I was tired. That you
have to relearn and really talk about the things that
bring you joy, Because if you were to write down
things that bring you joy and your list was just
sitting on the couch or just going to birthdays and
(51:33):
brunches and expending your Sunday, you would notice that the
gap a lot of times between what we're doing and
what makes us really happy is who we want to be,
is what we're really not doing. And the smaller you
can make that gap, the more we feel aligned because
(51:54):
we also are doing what we like to do and
we feel aligned and that gap is small.
Speaker 2 (52:02):
You know what, that reminds me of dating because in dating,
so many of us women, we will write this one
hundred list page of everything that we want our person
to have. Yet we're not looking in the mirror and saying,
am I a reflection of someone that a man like
that would want? Am I attracted? Or am I attractive
(52:26):
to that person on that piece of paper? And before
we say we want all these things, we have to
actually live in alignment with what we want.
Speaker 3 (52:35):
That is so good.
Speaker 2 (52:38):
Next question, how important is having a support system in
achieving your fitness and career goals?
Speaker 1 (52:44):
Oh my gosh, I love this question because I will
say right now, I am feeling a little bit un
inspired by my own personal walk because I do feel
like I don't really have the accountability when it comes
to partnership, and I'm losing a little bit of my
(53:07):
what I'm actually doing and what I should be doing.
And I actually this morning reached out to one of
my girlfriends. I would say out of maybe fifteen friends,
she's probably in the bottom five. I mean, I'm not
saying she's not my closest friend, but I reached out
to her saying, would you like to go on one
(53:30):
or two walks really early in the morning with me,
and we'll just do it together and we can have
positive conversation. We're going to feel good about making a
commitment and doing it, and I know that it's going
to encourage me to just bring someone to keep me accountable,
even if it's one thing, and even if it's you know,
(53:50):
it doesn't have to be every workout. I do not
like working out with other people. It's not my thing.
I like to be in my space in my head,
and I like to like channel my own thoughts. But
for me, this accountability walk is going to, I know,
just make me not make excuses for things and have
someone else also join in and not just be because
(54:11):
the truth is your sisters and your friends, you know,
an accountability partner by check in unless you're paying someone
that's not going to maintain holding you really accountable, and
then you're going to be like, well, I this and
I that well, and then you start justifying and then
you start pointing your finger. It's like, if you can
(54:32):
reach out to someone that you know that you can
partner with you, even if it's through joining virtually or
in person or one activity. It's going to make you
more accountable. But you also can't rely on that on
all the areas of everything you want to.
Speaker 2 (54:48):
Yeah, the last question is what role does goal setting
play in your overall success as a woman?
Speaker 1 (54:58):
Okay, well, I will say God only got the only
prayers God doesn't answer are the ones you never ask,
So that is very similar. I mean, everything I desire
and I want I bring to him, and I bring
to a paper, and I bring to a keyboard or something.
(55:20):
It has to be scarcely like specific, and it can't
be just like I want to make I want to
you know, make more money, or I want to honestly,
even I want to lose ten pounds. It's not specific enough. Yeah,
you know, what are you going to do? How are
(55:41):
you going to do it? For me? The best way
I've ever set goals and actually done what I wanted
to do, especially like a project or something that I
knew had like an out like a finish line, I
do it in reverse. So obviously, if it's like a
more you know, maybe if it's like, oh, I want
to launch a brand new business that's a little more
(56:03):
of a heavy effort goal, so that I would give
myself maybe a six month timeline versus something that's like
I want to, you know, a smaller goal maybe being
more consistent in the gym. So what does that mean?
You know? Then this next week, this is what I
need to do. And I would reverse Friday to the backwards.
(56:25):
So yes, writing on your goals, going through your goals,
even if you can, like re said, with a partner
or someone that can hold you accountable to them. And
the truth is, I mean a lot I feel like
a lot of times when we say these things, people
are like, I don't have person, I don't have a partner,
I don't have a spouse, I don't have a great friend.
(56:46):
Then you need to start intentionalizing and putting yourself in
places and spaces where you can meet those people. And
it won't happen overnight, but it will happen with your intentionality.
And you got to ask God. You got to be
specific with God to say what it is exactly you
want and then have action to follow what you're being
told and what you're being instructed to do, because you
(57:07):
can't just you know, it's not a genie that you
just say your command and it's like in front.
Speaker 2 (57:12):
Of you girl, and listen, this is it's actually like
full circle moment. I was gonna say, there is no
excuse like in today's day and age because of social media. Literally,
the way that me and Calli met was in DMS.
I slid in her DM. I think you were doing
like a boxing video or something, and I think I
said something. I said some about your abs or your body.
(57:34):
I was like, girl, you getting it on my goals
as Callie Ray like and this is. I didn't know her,
and before we know it, she was inviting me to
come to her house.
Speaker 3 (57:42):
Like yeah, we stranger.
Speaker 2 (57:43):
She's like, yeah, come on over, I'll make a little
board of apples and we like caramel apples. And that
was seven years ago. I had no clue who she was.
So you have the world at your fingertips. It is
okay to ask and receive some nose. If you have
to go through fifty no's to get one, great yes,
it was worth it.
Speaker 3 (58:04):
So stop being scared.
Speaker 2 (58:05):
Put on your big girl panties, ask the question, slide
in the DMS, go to that event, go in the gym,
and actually ask people their names and just make what
you want to have happen a reality by just making
the actions, take those actions, and y'all like the world.
Speaker 3 (58:24):
Is our oyster.
Speaker 2 (58:28):
So uh, Callie, please tell the people how we can
stay connected with you.
Speaker 1 (58:34):
Yes. So, my Instagram is my most active social media.
It is where, honestly, if I want to share or
say anything, I'm going straight to my Instagram, which is
how my name is spelled. Calie ray c A L
l I r A E and then XO and then
I also have a real estate page that is closing
(58:56):
with Callie c A l I that I'm working on
and growing. So if you want more of the real
estate content, that's there, But my personal page, Cali reepso
is pretty much all things Calli.
Speaker 2 (59:10):
This was such a great chat. I know our earlies
are going to get so much from it. Callie, continue
to be my favorite fitness inspiration, okay, because if you
fell off, I don't know what I would do.
Speaker 1 (59:22):
I couldn't be happier. I'm grateful to be here, and please,
if anyone has any questions or wants to bounce ideas
off me, message me. I will one hundred percent respond.
Speaker 3 (59:32):
Thanks for tuning in to Soft Life CEO.
Speaker 2 (59:34):
I hope that today's episode gets you a little bit
closer to achieving your definition of a soft life. If
you're ready to start the journey from hustler to soft
life CEO, go to the Soft Life ceo dot com backslash.
Speaker 3 (59:44):
Society for a thirty day free trial in my coaching community.
Speaker 2 (59:47):
If you found this episode helpful, share it with a friend,
leave a review, and don't forget to subscribe.
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