September 11, 2025 • 45 mins
In this powerful episode of The Hope Radio Show, host Karen Jayne Marchione welcomes Charlie Grady—Retired Police Detective, FBI Specialist, and Founder/CEO of Hang Time—for a conversation that embodies resilience, purpose, and transformation.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:44):
Hi, I'm Karen Marshoni from The Hope Show, inspired by
my book Hope How Other People Endure, which is about
everyday people overcoming life's challenges. Today, I welcome my co
host Marline Cruz Hi Everybody, the SEO of SOS Network.
The CEO of the SOS Network, and today today's guest
(01:09):
is someone who has lived on both sides of the
justice system, not as an offender, but as a protector
and now as a champion for change. Charlie Grady has
spent decades in law enforcement, from leading narcotics task forces
to serving in federal assignments with the FBI and the DEA.
(01:31):
But his story doesn't stop there. What makes Charlie's journey
remarkable is how he shifted from enforcing the law to
transforming lives, becoming a powerful advocate for second chances, redemption,
and community healing in a world that often defines people
(01:55):
by their worst mistake. Charlie challenges us to see beyond
the labels to the possibility of purpose and freedom. His
work asks all of us, what does real rehabilitation look
like and how do we build a culture where hope
is stronger than stigma. Stay with us because Charlie Grady's
(02:18):
story is not just about crime and punishment. It's about courage,
change and the belief that no one is beyond redemption. Charlie,
Welcome to the Hope Show.
Speaker 2 (02:31):
Thank you, Thank you so much for having me. Karen,
it's great to be here. And right off the stop,
I have to just acknowledge that this is an honor
for me to be on this show. The SOS Radio
magazine and show has done tremendous by me and the
Hangtime program in large part because of you and others
(02:53):
at the station, at the podcast driven created by the
one the Only Marliny Cruise.
Speaker 1 (03:02):
Yes, absolutely, and it's an honor to have you here today.
Speaker 2 (03:05):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (03:07):
Looking back at your career with the FBI and the DEA,
what's one moment that still replays in your mind, not
because of the crime itself, but because of the human
story behind it.
Speaker 2 (03:22):
So great question. There are. There are a bunch of
different stories that I can point to, but the one
that I that I sort of put out there often
is while assigned to the FBI DEA Joint Task Force
from Narcotics, I met an individual during a raid and
(03:42):
his name is Fred and Uh he had moved to
Connecticut from New York and he he was involved in
the drug trade. He was moving what we call wait,
he was moving heroin and apparently he didn't think anybody
was watching. But you know that wasn't the case. We
got the information. I became the case agent on it,
(04:02):
and we ended up serving a search warrant at his house.
And it was during the search warrant that emotions struck
me as wow, this is this is a different sense
of you know, purpose. And the reason the emotions hit
me is because as we were piling up different packets
(04:25):
of heroin on his table, Fred was sitting at the table, handcuffed,
and he knew that it was sort of the end
of the road for him and he had been in
trouble before. But I saw that he was crying. He
had tears, and he said, he said, can I talk
to you? Because it was clear to him that I
was in charge of that particular search warrant in the case,
(04:46):
he said, can I talk to you? And I, you know,
I'm thinking to myself, what do you want to talk
to me about? My guy? You're you're done, like you
got a bunch of heroine on the table, and he says.
He says, no, no, no, He says, I want to talk
to you. He goes, I really, you know, I understand
I'm in trouble here, but I need some help to
turn my life around. And I stopped and I looked
(05:09):
at him, and in that moment, all I could see
was me and I could see some of my family
members who had been involved in the wrong side of
the law. And I thought to myself, if this guy's
genuine and he really wants to talk, I'm going to
talk to him. So I did. I sat down and
(05:30):
talked to him for a while and he says, look,
I don't want to go to jail. And I said,
my guy, when all this drugs, you're going to jail, right.
You know, we've got a job to do, I said,
but if you truly want to turn your life around,
when you come home, I'll be here to help you.
And that was the start, because when he did come home,
(05:52):
I met with him. I got him involved with nets
and New England tractor trailing trailers, and he became the
poster child for that company for a long time. He
was so successful, he was so driven. And what I
learned from that experience was that when people have ongoing support,
you can steer somebody you know to to a program
that that that is designed to help them. But if
(06:14):
you're not there to to sort of support them through
it ongoing support, a lot of times people get derailed
and they get sidetracked. And I often say sometimes when
you have these programs set up to help individuals, great intentions,
but if you if you tell someone on Monday, hey,
on Thursday, go see Jimmy Jones, they're going to give you,
(06:35):
you know, some some help and assistance. Individuals coming home
from incarceration might not even make it there by Thursday
because on Tuesday the streets are calling and they feel
the pressure of I've got to I've got to succeed,
I've got to get back on track. I've got to
catch up to where I was lost. So I point
to the story with Fred because today we still are
(06:59):
in touch and he's highly successful today, owns his own business,
and he credits the fact that someone took the time
to sit with him and work with him through ups
and downs for the reason in large part for a
lot of his success.
Speaker 1 (07:15):
Wow, that's an amazing story. So incarceration often leaves people
branded for life. What's one misconception about formerly incarcerated individuals
that you wish you could erase instantly.
Speaker 2 (07:34):
Intellect in one word, Yeah, I have met some of
the most intelligent individuals on this planet that were incarcerated,
that have come home from incarceration, that were intellectuals before
they even went to prison. And oftentimes as a society
(07:56):
in general, we lose sight of the fact that everyone
who goes to prison isn't someone who just can barely
string a sentence together. Doesn't mean right we want to
put people in that box. But the misconception is you
have some very brilliant minds. Some of these people are
on the spectrum, that's how brilliant they are, and creativity
(08:18):
and the intellect and academic academia is mind blowing to me.
So the first thing I would say is don't underestimate
someone who's been incarcerated and try to put them in
a box, because you don't know them until you know.
Speaker 1 (08:33):
Them, right, absolutely, So, you've witnessed the darkest side of
humanity and the strength people can find in rebuilding their lives.
How do those contrasts shape your personal definition of hope?
Speaker 2 (08:48):
So there's many many ways in which that happens. What
I witnessed in the work that I've been doing through
hang Time, the nonprofit that I started while I was
still in law enforcement UH and working for the judicial system,
I've witnessed the disparity and the unfair system in which
(09:09):
these people are operating and never more right now, every
day we are witnessing the hypocrisy of our system. When
when When when an individual who comes home from incarceration
for having a firearm or having sold drugs, can't vote,
can't get a driver's license, can't get an apartment, but
other people can become uh multi billionaires and become presidents.
(09:32):
We're seeing the We're seeing the hypocrisy system right and
and so you know, everything revolves around money. So when
you talk about hope, what what has given me hope
is the fight that individuals have within them. Now you know,
the Fellas call it street hustle. I'm a hustler. So
(09:54):
being a hustler is one thing, But being resilient at
your hustle and saying true to the mission of succeeding
and changing your life is what gives me hope. When
I witness people do things to stay focused and to
stay on track, and not become easily derailed by the
streets calling. And when I use that term, the streets calling,
(10:16):
people have so many obstacles that they have to overcome
just to live a mediocre existence after prison. And when
I see people come home from incarceration turn their lives around,
not just make their own lives better, but improve the
lives of the community that they once violated, this is
(10:38):
an incredible feat. I can say to you that there's
a whole bunch of people that are CEOs of companies
and corporations across this country that couldn't walk a mile,
a half a mile, a block in the shoes of
some of the people that have given me hope on
how to succeed at overcoming obstacles. So I'm inspired when
(10:59):
I watch people stay to the fight, stick with the fight,
and when they get to the other side of success,
reach back and pull people just like them to the
next level.
Speaker 1 (11:12):
Wow, that's great. I mean, so many people don't realize
how difficult it is when you have been incarcerated and
you get out, and so many difficulties. You know, not
a driver's license, you know, how can they get around?
I mean, I know there's public transportation, but that just
makes it so difficult.
Speaker 2 (11:34):
So yeah, if you stop and think about it, if
you're relying on public transportation, the bus, per se or uber,
that's cutting into your profit. That's cutting into the money
that you could be making if you had transportations, if
you had a driver's license, right, if you can get out,
And it also limits your mobility. I've got to get
(11:56):
a job on the bus line or take my bicycle
on the bus and ride two miles. And this is
a real example that I'm giving. One individual that we
work with is unable to get a driver's license for
a while now, and he brings his bicycle onto the bus,
he takes the bus to the area where his job
(12:16):
is and then rides two and a half miles to
his job. That's every day at six am.
Speaker 1 (12:23):
Wow. So again, dedication absolutely so in creating hang time,
is there a blueprint for true rehabilitation that goes beyond
what the system currently offers, which not much? And what
are the three most important pillars that you would say.
Speaker 2 (12:45):
Three most important pillars for redemption and turning your life around.
Number one is unchecked undiagnosed trauma. Right, the statistics of
individuals that have been incarcerated in this country are staggering
when you look at the disproportionate obstacles that they face.
(13:10):
And most of it is based and rooted in early
childhood trauma. Yes, and if you're not dealing with early
childhood trauma, then that child grows up to be a
traumatized adult and they and they can survive a lot
of things. And what I've what I've witnessed over the
years we've been doing this now for almost eleven years,
(13:33):
is that sometimes the child is still in there crying
for healing, and the adult is on automatic and they're
moving and they're they're trying to accomplish things. But when
emotions come into play and there's a setback emotionally, that
child and the trauma that has been untreated and unaddressed
(13:55):
comes through loud and clear. And so Pull A Number
one is understanding the the unspoken trauma of individuals who
have been incarcerated. Stop not to even mention the mere
fact that being incarcerated is another major trauma.
Speaker 1 (14:12):
Absolutely right.
Speaker 2 (14:14):
You're living in a cement cage with bars, and you
have a stainless steel toilet as as yours. You know,
these are the kind of things that people overlook if
you haven't been exposed to it at the level that
I've been exposed to. And so number one is the
unaddressed trauma. Number two is, as you said, the systems
(14:35):
design is it's almost designed for a profit system for
the prisons, right And so, uh, there is there is
evidence of certain halfway houses where people come and they're
supposed to be under supervision of parole. Uh and and
(15:00):
before they go one back into the community, they have
to be supervised. And in that supervisory capacity there are
there are folks who are making money off of that,
the the attendance and the residents in the halfway house.
And so if you if you have privatized and you
(15:22):
have a halfway house and you need, you know, to
keep those beds filled, you're going to find a technical
violation on someone he didn't get back. He didn't get
back until eight oh three. He's supposed to be here
at eight. So sorry, you're gonna have to stay here.
This is what I've witnessed. And you know, I can't
speak for everything and everybody, but some of the things
(15:43):
that I've witnessed are just horrific in the sense of
this this feeding of money into a system, and it
further traumatizes individuals and pushed people back into a position
where they're in a corner and they're in a dogfight
for their lives. Right. So the third thing I would
(16:05):
say is abandonment. Right. So oftentimes people have listen, people
have been a pain in the neck in the family.
People have been a pain the neck in the neighborhood. Right.
And while you're wreaking havoc in the family, are wreaking
havoc in the neighborhood. And if you become addicted to
(16:26):
a substance and you drain your family's account and then
you have to have lawyers paying for everything, family's tired
of you. Right, They're at a point where it's like, yo,
you either get your life together or get away from me, right.
And so sometimes it takes years, years and years for
those individuals to get their life together. Meanwhile, the family
has said done right. So, now when this person is
(16:48):
actually on the right track and this is the one
that's going to make a difference and they've got their
life right, the family doesn't believe them because we've been
here before, right, We've heard this before. And when when
when people feel abandoned and they don't have ongoing, continued support.
This is where they they again. I talk about the
(17:09):
emotions of it all. You know, some of the most
emotional people I've ever encountered are people who have come
home from incarceration because it's all built up again untreated trauma,
trauma of prison, traumatize again with the system. These are highly,
highly volatile emotional people. And so I would say that
(17:31):
this level of abandonment is an issue as well, where hey,
I'm here, I'm showing up, I'm really ready to do this,
and no one else that that claims to love me
is here to help me. So that's where hang Time
comes in, because we become that family that people choose.
We're not blood, but if you want family and support
from people who aren't judging you on the moment, on
(17:55):
the day, and it's hard. Don't get me wrong, I
understand that families they've had enough and they can't get
past it. Oftentimes, we at hang Time, we take you
at face value for who you are when you come in.
We don't care what your past is. We don't ask
you what your crime was. Are you ready to turn
your life around? Come on in and meet cousin Johnny,
(18:18):
and meet Uncle Charlie and meet Auntie Michelle. Because that's
what we're gonna do. We're going to try to help
you as if we are your family.
Speaker 1 (18:25):
Wow, that's so great. Do you find that forgiveness plays
a hidden role in second chances? From your perspective, how
does forgiveness of self and from others factor into the
process of reclaiming one's life and speaking of those.
Speaker 2 (18:44):
Emotions, Yeah, forgiveness is a big one. And I'll say this,
and I'm probably gonna upset a lot of people, but
the forgiveness aspect of it has to be there first.
But unfortunately, a lot of time, because people have been
a victim of the system, they can't get to forgiveness
(19:05):
because they're they're they're on this this level of I'm
a victim. I'm a victim, so they don't they don't
even give themselves the chance to give themselves. Hey, I
screwed up. I forget. A lot of people are accountable
to their actions right, and they will take full responsibility.
I messed up. I was doing this right. And that's
(19:27):
something else that the general public isn't aware of. Everyone
thinks that someone who is a criminal is in the
mindset of yeah, I'm going back out here and conquer
the world again. But more often than not, we have
individuals who recognize and acknowledge, yeah, I'm the problem. I
was the problem. But again we talk about all that
(19:47):
that past trauma that led this person to be the problem.
So to your point about forgiveness, I see forgiveness being
one of the hardest challenges. And I tell individuals coming
home first of all, when they come home and they're
living in a halfway house, I say, be fair to yourself, right, said,
(20:08):
a chunk of your life has been removed because of
your actions. But don't think that now you're home and
you're living partially free. The government still owns your name,
right and you're living partly Three, don't be so hard
on yourself and expect that you are going to come
(20:28):
home and be at the same level of your friends
and family members that never went to prison. You're not
going to come home in a short period of time
and be at the same level having your own home,
having it It's going to be a struggle. So be
fair to yourself, right, And that's where the forgiveness comes in.
Be fair to yourself. Understand, we can never reclaim time.
(20:50):
You can never get back that time, So be fear
to yourself and start fresh and new. And it's a
challenge for a lot of the people we work with.
Is the first level for themselves, right right? Wow?
Speaker 1 (21:02):
Being fair? A lot of people that haven't even been
incarcerated are not fair to themselves or can forgive themselves
for minor issues. Hope can sometimes feel abstract at hang time.
Can you recall a time when you saw hope become tangible,
(21:24):
something you could see, feel, and even measure in someone's
life as someone transformed their life.
Speaker 2 (21:31):
Yeah. Absolutely, And at the risk of sounding like a braggadocious,
proud papa, this is this is not something that is
you know, once in a while, we instilled hope in people.
That's that's part of our goal. We instill hoping people.
We put a mirror in front of people and we
want them to see what we see in them. And
(21:53):
a lot of times that phrase has been repeated back
to us. You saw something in me that I didn't see, right.
So one example is there was an individual who used
to come and I met him through a church event
and he showed up at an event that that hangtime
was putting on and we had several churches that were there.
He was a part of a particular church. But he
(22:14):
wasn't a man of God. He was trying to be,
you know. He was trying everything in his power to
stay on the street and narrow path because he came
up in Bridgeport in a rough life, drug dealing, parents
were in and out of prison. He saw trauma, you know,
all of this, and he came and he liked what
we were doing. He saw what we were doing for
(22:34):
the community, and he vowed at that moment he was
going to help, and he did. He stayed to the
end of the event, helped us pack up and everything.
And I turned to him at one point. He's a
big guy, and I said, what is it that you
want out of this life? Right? And he says, yeah,
I don't know. I want me want to you know,
(22:55):
write a book. I mean, I said, okay, I said,
what I'm looking at is a guy who as incredible
work ethic. Right. No one asked you to come here
and do what you're doing. You jumped in because you
saw the need. I said, then that is a leader.
And I broke it down to him and I said,
you have skills. I said, why wouldn't you pursue creating
(23:15):
your own business where you can actually rain those skills
down on other people. And so he thought about it.
He came back at me and he said, yeah, you know,
I don't have the education. I said, well, start something
that you love to do, that you're passionate about, and
it will all work out the way it's supposed to
work out. And lo and behold. I helped him to
get his own LLC through hang Time, and he really
(23:40):
really quickly said, listen, I'm hang Time for life because
I never saw and I didn't have any hope in
being anything more than an employee at someone else's company.
Now I have my own company. And so again that's
one story. The stories are almost endless because there's another
(24:01):
individual who came to hang Time wearing a bracelet, a
monitoring bracelet on his ankle, and his words were he
got tricked to coming there by his uncle. Yeah, And
when he was there, he fell in love with what
we were doing and the positive messaging we were giving.
And he saw other individuals that he knew from the
(24:22):
street that he didn't think were redeemable, and now they
had jobs and they had their own apartment and they
were doing well. So he realized, this is the path
that I should probably take. But before he came, he
had made up his mind. He had just come home
from prison. Yeh, made up his mind, He's got a
hurt and get back out in the street. So he
making up making money selling drugs and get back to
(24:44):
where he was before he got caught. He had already
resigned himself that that's what he was going to do.
But his time two hours in hangtime turned his mindset
around so that he became an employee of ours, and
in that role, I assigned him to working as a
an admin assistant at the US Attorney's Office. Wow program
(25:04):
that I was working there right now, Keep this in mind.
This is a guy who came to us wearing a bracelet,
and now he's going in and out of the US
Attorney's Office, connecticutte and helping others come home in the
re entry program. Right. That was number one. Number two
he stayed with us. He ended up going back to college,
and we paid for a lot of his his fees
(25:31):
to go back to school. Ends up getting magnicum latt
He graduates with a bachelor's degree.
Speaker 1 (25:37):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (25:38):
He now owns his own home, and he's a supervisor
of a huge program in the state of Connecticut. And
his words, not mine, he created, he credits and owes
it to hang Time.
Speaker 1 (25:49):
Oh that is a wonderful story. Wow. That gives me
ghost bumps hearing these stories. How wonderful you've been in
where you could work literally where your work could literally
change the course of someone's life, as in the story
you just told, did the How did you carry the
(26:12):
weight of that responsibility without becoming hardened or cynical?
Speaker 2 (26:19):
Well, who says I hadn't become hardened or No? There
are days when I look in the mirror and go
what am I doing? I'm fighting harder than they are
to keep them on the straight and narrow sometimes, and
that's when I have to step back and go, Okay,
let me reframe my mindset on what I'm dealing with
(26:43):
and what my purpose is. Right, And I said earlier
the way I see the work that we do is
putting a mirror in front of people and saying, Hey,
is this the person you want to be? Who's in
this mirror? And I tell people all the time, every
day you get to redefine yourself. You come home from incarceration.
(27:04):
You get a clear decision in the morning, you know what,
I'm sticking with the path. I'm going to do what
I gotta do today. I don't know, I might not
go to work because I'm feeling like I might fall back.
But you have to be consistent with what you're going
to do. So for me, I recognize if I help
ten individuals a month and only four do well, then
(27:27):
I've accomplished what I said out to. Because you know,
there's this old phrase, I can only lead a horse
to water, right, And so oftentimes people give up on themselves,
no matter what we have to say, up on themselves.
But the beauty of it is where I feel redeemed
and I feel like I don't need to be hardened
and I don't need to be cynical, is because oftentimes
(27:50):
time will go by and they will either hit rock
bottom and come back and say, hey, I didn't realize
what I had here. I need that, or they'll be
successful and come back and go, hey, I just want
you to know you guys put me on the track.
So it may not happen within a short order, but
(28:11):
we've seen over the years. Again, we're almost eleven years
old in November. We've seen people come back and say, hey,
thanks to what you've done, I'm a success.
Speaker 1 (28:21):
That's wonderful. So our culture glorifies success stories, but not
the messy middle And what can communities and individuals do
better to support people who are still in that fragile
middle stage of.
Speaker 2 (28:37):
Change, surround them with positivity and understand their fight. Right. So,
just the other day, I had a man who's very
successful now, but he was incarcerated and he has his
own business now, and he was expressing frustration at listening
to successful people who had never been to prison in
(28:58):
the community talk to young kids on the block and say, hey,
you know, stop selling drugs and you know, go out
here and get a job and get your education, and
you know, you get And his his frustration was, you're
telling this kid this, but you're not giving him anything
(29:18):
tangible to walk away from. So you're not giving him
a job, you're not offering him the training right then
and there, you're not. And so I think ultimately, what
we what we deal with is is the community has
to recognize a lot of young people. Now we'll talk
(29:40):
about the middle age and the older people, but a
lot of the young people. My grandmother used to say,
they don't believe that meets greasy until they get popped
with the grease. Right, you can talk to them all day,
but if you don't relate, if you don't if you
haven't walked in those steps that they're in, they don't
care what you have to say. You know, and this
is a hard, hard thing for older adults to recognize
(30:03):
because we're coming from a good place and we're like, oh,
you know, you're really you can do better, and that
if those young people don't see you as them right
in the future, you're done. You can talk all that
great stuff and now yes ya oh yeah, yeah, and
they'll turn around and go down the block and sell
whatever they're going to sell, right or jump in into
(30:25):
a stolen car because they don't believe in you. They
don't believe that you are the answer to what they're saying.
But to this young man's point where he was talking about,
if you're not offering them something in the moment, you
can talk to you blue in the face. But the
idea to answer your question is what can the community
do is literally have things available before they go into
(30:48):
the circles and say you need to do this better,
or you can't be doing that if you can't point
someone to Hey, there's a training taking place right now.
You've ever been interested in plumbing, you ever been interested,
and there's a training going on right now. Let me
introduce you to Mikey. Mikey runs this training. Hey, I
want you to meet Mikey. Hey, Mikey, this guy's interested.
(31:11):
I just took him off the street and we're talking.
I'm giving him something. I'm showing him now for all
of those people say, well, you know, nobody gave me anything.
You ain't everybody right.
Speaker 1 (31:22):
Exactly, and we need plumbers and electricians, and yeah, we
need all these people.
Speaker 2 (31:30):
You know. The misconception, though, is a lot of times
people throw this thing out, well, you know, not everybody
wants to go to college. There we need, we need,
you know, plumbers and electricians. Whatever. Let me tell you something.
I went to school to be an electrician. You got
to be college level education to get through, you know,
(31:51):
getting this this, this certificate as electrician and an apprenticeship
even a plumber. There's so much math, right, client's involved
with all that. So people throw it around like you
don't have to go to college. You can just go
be a plumber, like as if all they got to
do is put a belt on and start draining toilets.
That's not You still need the academic levels, and that's
(32:12):
where a lot of times in our society we fail
our folks. I've got twenty six, twenty eight year old
young men who read at a seventh grade level at
this level, and as a result, they're frustrated, so they
don't read, and so therefore they don't move forward to education.
That's a failure in our system because no one's riding
that individual.
Speaker 1 (32:33):
Making sure absolutely absolutely. That disheartens me as a previous
reading teacher. If you could gather everyone you've ever worked with, colleagues,
people that you've helped, even those who opposed your ideas
in one room, what single message would you want them
(32:56):
to walk away with?
Speaker 2 (32:59):
Wow? Let me think on through my employees that have
worked for me, Folks that have helped those that those haters.
We get a lot of haters a lot of times
because the nonprofit world is just dog eat dog. You know,
I come from law enforcement world. I ain't never seen
(33:21):
nothing as bad as the nonprofit world, especially in re entry.
They folks that should be working together when there's you know,
a grant thrown on the table, there suddenly at each
other's neck and throat talking. You know, it's just insane
to me. But it's just the culture. It's just what
it is. But I think if I had everyone in
that room, the number one message would be I've survived
(33:48):
ten and a half years I started. I didn't start
out trying to make a program. That's not what I
intended initially. I just wanted to give people that were
come home incarceration at place to be safe, to express
themselves without restriction and respect the process. That's what that's
(34:09):
all this started out is. That's why it's called hangtime.
I just wanted to give individuals a place to hang
out and some time to just be themselves without doc
or you know, family saying you can't say that you
can't do that. So if I had this room, I
would first talk to directly to those people who helped
me create this program, and I would thank them, and
(34:32):
I would say to them, I understand that you came
to me during a time when I was building and
you were vital in the process. I couldn't have done
any of it without the early folks that worked with
me because they came as volunteers when I had no money.
So I would thank them, and I would also say, hey, listen,
(34:53):
I understand that you know, no one stays in the
same place forever, and you had to move on. As
you grow, you move on and you pursue the things.
But I would say, now that we are where we are,
you need to come back and tell your story. That's
to you know, tell your story about what you've witnessed
and how you've overcome and how you've helped. That story
(35:14):
needs to be told, and not by me. It needs
to be told by those that have lived in those
others in the room, that formerly incarcerated, that we've seen
succeed and we've seen some fail. I would say to
them again, be fair to yourself. You know, oftentimes it
takes years for someone to get into a lifestyle, whether
(35:35):
it be good or bad. If it took you four years,
seven years, ten years of your life to amass this
negativity that landed you in jail, be fair to yourself.
It's not going to go away just because today you
said I'm a good guy. Now the people who who
you did dirt to, they don't care that you decided
(35:58):
you're going to be a good guy, they still want
retaliation and we see it all the time, and so
again that makes the struggle. I've got one guy who
came home after you know, doing a murder bid and
he is hell bent on being this great new guy,
but the friends of his victim refuse to allow him
(36:19):
to live a successful life. And so I would say,
be kind to yourself, understand that time. You have to
use time to your advantage. You don't have to be
successful overnight. This is this is one of the problems.
You know, even the street hustler, they want to be
rich overnight. They want what everyone else has overnight. They
(36:42):
don't respect or understand that whatever you get quickly can
be taken away from you just as quickly. And I
would say that to people after doing a raid and
taking their BMW, taking the Mercedes, taking their two hundred
and fifty thousand dollars in cash that they have stuffed
under a bed. You made this money quick, you made
(37:02):
it illegal. It was never yours. So true, So I
would talk about being fair. And then lastly to those
people that we're in that room that were posed or
haters per se, I would I would smile at him
and say, started at the bottom, now we're here, right. Yeah,
(37:24):
And and listen, that's not a cocky thing. It literally
it's literally just Hey, when you when you're when you're
adamant about doing the work for all the right reasons,
you don't fade away. Do you know how many nonprofits
I've seen disappear in eleven years? Started out and people
(37:45):
got to have my own nonprofit, got to have my
own nonprofit, and when they realize there's nothing glorious about
the nonprofit world, then suddenly fade away.
Speaker 1 (37:56):
Wow yeah, wow, Well, when you do the right thing,
it just kind of blossoms into what you've created.
Speaker 2 (38:05):
Absolutely.
Speaker 1 (38:06):
Looking ahead, what's the hope you hold on to tightly,
not just for the justice system, but for humanity as
a whole.
Speaker 2 (38:18):
At the risk of sounding Kumbayash, I hope to be
able to spread the love that we have during hangtime
sessions into communities. And I think we're succeeding at that.
I think we are succeeding at bringing people into a
hangtime session, filling them up with hope and love and
(38:41):
camaraderie and respect for differences. You see, That's that's what
we're doing. One of the rules of hangtime is you
can say whatever you want. You just have to be
respectful of other people's opinions and thoughts. There's no absolute
right or wrong when it comes to your opinion. And
what we do is in that process, not only are
(39:03):
they gaining respect for each other and their opinion, but
they're learning from each other. Right, And they go, well,
I never looked at it that way. You know what,
maybe maybe I've been wrong, and this is something that
needs to be spread throughout the country, especially not you
know what I mean, we are so divided, and what
we do at hang time is we bring people together.
And that's why we call ourselves a family, not a program, right,
(39:26):
And so that you know, in answer to your question,
I think that's something that I would like to see
spread not just statewide, but New England wide. Absolutely, yeah,
the United States wide. And again it takes dedication. Nobody's
(39:48):
getting rich doing it. It's just you're not getting rich
in a nonprofit. And so, you know, I'm fortunate that
I'm in a position where I have a retirement and
people throw it out of my face all the time.
Well you can do. And I'm like I started by
spending my own money. I a would spend three thousand
dollars of our own money every month to feed people.
(40:12):
No one you know what I mean, And now I don't.
Now I get I have people that volunteer and donate
food because we've gotten to that point. I've got fifty
sixty people in a womb every Tuesday in Bridgeport, thirty
forty every other Thursday in new Haven, fifty every off
Thursday from New Haven in Waterbury. That's just same time
(40:35):
we have heard time where we're getting those same numbers.
We have the Connecticut Hall to Change, where we're the
first in the country to do this thing where we
honor individuals that have come home from incarceration and have
dedicated their lives to giving back to the communities that
they once violated. Right now, September fourteenth, we're going to
have our fifth We're celebrating our fifth year anniversary of
(40:58):
the Connecticut Hall of Change. And so far we have
forty individuals that have been inducted into a state museum.
These people are in a state museum for the contributions
they've made to change in their communities to safer and
more resilient neighborhoods and With that being said, when you
(41:19):
talk about real change, connected Hall of Change is all
about that. We have three individuals that went from being
incarcerated to now are in law enforcement. Wow. We have
five individuals that were incarcerated that now have their PhDs.
And so this is the level of change that we're
honoring and highlighting for the world to see. And this
(41:41):
is a program I hope to have spread throughout the
nation so that each year, individuals that are inducted into
the Hall of Change in that state can convene in Washington,
d C. With lawmakers to help change the system for
a better, more efficient way of people transitioning back to community. Wow.
Speaker 1 (42:04):
That's a great way to kind of sum up everything
that you're doing, which is wonderful and I hope that
all comes to be. It would be great to see
a world where people are helping each other.
Speaker 2 (42:18):
That's right today. What you know, the best word about
that is when you come to hang time, we're gonna
put on some theme music and we're gonna watch you dance,
because I know you can dance.
Speaker 1 (42:29):
You just yeah, absolutely.
Speaker 2 (42:32):
I know that's right, Karen, go ahead.
Speaker 1 (42:37):
So today we've heard from Charlie Grady, a man who
has walked the line between justice and compassion and shown
us that true change begins when we dare to see
people for who they can become, not just for what
they have done. His journey reminds us that hope isn't passive.
(42:59):
It's a force that can restore dignity, rebuild trust, and
rewrite lives. If Charlie's story has inspired you today, think
about where you can be a champion of change in
your own community, even in small ways. Sometimes it starts
with listening, sometimes with forgiveness, and sometimes with offering someone
(43:24):
a second chance. Charlie, thank you for sharing your heart
and your mission with us and to our listeners. If
you have a story of resilience, healing, or hope, I'd
love to hear about it, because your journey could be
the light someone needs today. Let's keep Hope alive together
(43:50):
and this program is made possible through the support of
our listeners, friends, and sponsors. If you would like to
make a donation, please click on my and if you
would like to become a sponsor or advertiser, please visit
my website at www dot Karenmarcioni dot com to connect, contribute,
(44:12):
or share your story. Together, Let's keep spreading uplifting conversations
that inspire, heal, and remind us hope is always within reach.
Tune in to all of the inspiring programs on the
Sosradio dot Live beginning at nine am every Sunday. I'm
(44:34):
Karen MARCIONI, Stay well, be hopeful, and until next Sunday
at three pm Eastern Standard Time on Sosradio dot Live
Hi, I'm Karen Marshoni from The Hope Show, inspired by
my book Hope How Other People Endure, which is about
everyday people overcoming life's challenges. Today, I welcome my co
host Marline Cruz Hi Everybody, the SEO of SOS Network.
The CEO of the SOS Network, and today today's guest
(01:09):
is someone who has lived on both sides of the
justice system, not as an offender, but as a protector
and now as a champion for change. Charlie Grady has
spent decades in law enforcement, from leading narcotics task forces
to serving in federal assignments with the FBI and the DEA.
(01:31):
But his story doesn't stop there. What makes Charlie's journey
remarkable is how he shifted from enforcing the law to
transforming lives, becoming a powerful advocate for second chances, redemption,
and community healing in a world that often defines people
(01:55):
by their worst mistake. Charlie challenges us to see beyond
the labels to the possibility of purpose and freedom. His
work asks all of us, what does real rehabilitation look
like and how do we build a culture where hope
is stronger than stigma. Stay with us because Charlie Grady's
(02:18):
story is not just about crime and punishment. It's about courage,
change and the belief that no one is beyond redemption. Charlie,
Welcome to the Hope Show.
Speaker 2 (02:31):
Thank you, Thank you so much for having me. Karen,
it's great to be here. And right off the stop,
I have to just acknowledge that this is an honor
for me to be on this show. The SOS Radio
magazine and show has done tremendous by me and the
Hangtime program in large part because of you and others
(02:53):
at the station, at the podcast driven created by the
one the Only Marliny Cruise.
Speaker 1 (03:02):
Yes, absolutely, and it's an honor to have you here today.
Speaker 2 (03:05):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (03:07):
Looking back at your career with the FBI and the DEA,
what's one moment that still replays in your mind, not
because of the crime itself, but because of the human
story behind it.
Speaker 2 (03:22):
So great question. There are. There are a bunch of
different stories that I can point to, but the one
that I that I sort of put out there often
is while assigned to the FBI DEA Joint Task Force
from Narcotics, I met an individual during a raid and
(03:42):
his name is Fred and Uh he had moved to
Connecticut from New York and he he was involved in
the drug trade. He was moving what we call wait,
he was moving heroin and apparently he didn't think anybody
was watching. But you know that wasn't the case. We
got the information. I became the case agent on it,
(04:02):
and we ended up serving a search warrant at his house.
And it was during the search warrant that emotions struck
me as wow, this is this is a different sense
of you know, purpose. And the reason the emotions hit
me is because as we were piling up different packets
(04:25):
of heroin on his table, Fred was sitting at the table, handcuffed,
and he knew that it was sort of the end
of the road for him and he had been in
trouble before. But I saw that he was crying. He
had tears, and he said, he said, can I talk
to you? Because it was clear to him that I
was in charge of that particular search warrant in the case,
(04:46):
he said, can I talk to you? And I, you know,
I'm thinking to myself, what do you want to talk
to me about? My guy? You're you're done, like you
got a bunch of heroine on the table, and he says.
He says, no, no, no, He says, I want to talk
to you. He goes, I really, you know, I understand
I'm in trouble here, but I need some help to
turn my life around. And I stopped and I looked
(05:09):
at him, and in that moment, all I could see
was me and I could see some of my family
members who had been involved in the wrong side of
the law. And I thought to myself, if this guy's
genuine and he really wants to talk, I'm going to
talk to him. So I did. I sat down and
(05:30):
talked to him for a while and he says, look,
I don't want to go to jail. And I said,
my guy, when all this drugs, you're going to jail, right.
You know, we've got a job to do, I said,
but if you truly want to turn your life around,
when you come home, I'll be here to help you.
And that was the start, because when he did come home,
(05:52):
I met with him. I got him involved with nets
and New England tractor trailing trailers, and he became the
poster child for that company for a long time. He
was so successful, he was so driven. And what I
learned from that experience was that when people have ongoing support,
you can steer somebody you know to to a program
that that that is designed to help them. But if
(06:14):
you're not there to to sort of support them through
it ongoing support, a lot of times people get derailed
and they get sidetracked. And I often say sometimes when
you have these programs set up to help individuals, great intentions,
but if you if you tell someone on Monday, hey,
on Thursday, go see Jimmy Jones, they're going to give you,
(06:35):
you know, some some help and assistance. Individuals coming home
from incarceration might not even make it there by Thursday
because on Tuesday the streets are calling and they feel
the pressure of I've got to I've got to succeed,
I've got to get back on track. I've got to
catch up to where I was lost. So I point
to the story with Fred because today we still are
(06:59):
in touch and he's highly successful today, owns his own business,
and he credits the fact that someone took the time
to sit with him and work with him through ups
and downs for the reason in large part for a
lot of his success.
Speaker 1 (07:15):
Wow, that's an amazing story. So incarceration often leaves people
branded for life. What's one misconception about formerly incarcerated individuals
that you wish you could erase instantly.
Speaker 2 (07:34):
Intellect in one word, Yeah, I have met some of
the most intelligent individuals on this planet that were incarcerated,
that have come home from incarceration, that were intellectuals before
they even went to prison. And oftentimes as a society
(07:56):
in general, we lose sight of the fact that everyone
who goes to prison isn't someone who just can barely
string a sentence together. Doesn't mean right we want to
put people in that box. But the misconception is you
have some very brilliant minds. Some of these people are
on the spectrum, that's how brilliant they are, and creativity
(08:18):
and the intellect and academic academia is mind blowing to me.
So the first thing I would say is don't underestimate
someone who's been incarcerated and try to put them in
a box, because you don't know them until you know.
Speaker 1 (08:33):
Them, right, absolutely, So, you've witnessed the darkest side of
humanity and the strength people can find in rebuilding their lives.
How do those contrasts shape your personal definition of hope?
Speaker 2 (08:48):
So there's many many ways in which that happens. What
I witnessed in the work that I've been doing through
hang Time, the nonprofit that I started while I was
still in law enforcement UH and working for the judicial system,
I've witnessed the disparity and the unfair system in which
(09:09):
these people are operating and never more right now, every
day we are witnessing the hypocrisy of our system. When
when When when an individual who comes home from incarceration
for having a firearm or having sold drugs, can't vote,
can't get a driver's license, can't get an apartment, but
other people can become uh multi billionaires and become presidents.
(09:32):
We're seeing the We're seeing the hypocrisy system right and
and so you know, everything revolves around money. So when
you talk about hope, what what has given me hope
is the fight that individuals have within them. Now you know,
the Fellas call it street hustle. I'm a hustler. So
(09:54):
being a hustler is one thing, But being resilient at
your hustle and saying true to the mission of succeeding
and changing your life is what gives me hope. When
I witness people do things to stay focused and to
stay on track, and not become easily derailed by the
streets calling. And when I use that term, the streets calling,
(10:16):
people have so many obstacles that they have to overcome
just to live a mediocre existence after prison. And when
I see people come home from incarceration turn their lives around,
not just make their own lives better, but improve the
lives of the community that they once violated, this is
(10:38):
an incredible feat. I can say to you that there's
a whole bunch of people that are CEOs of companies
and corporations across this country that couldn't walk a mile,
a half a mile, a block in the shoes of
some of the people that have given me hope on
how to succeed at overcoming obstacles. So I'm inspired when
(10:59):
I watch people stay to the fight, stick with the fight,
and when they get to the other side of success,
reach back and pull people just like them to the
next level.
Speaker 1 (11:12):
Wow, that's great. I mean, so many people don't realize
how difficult it is when you have been incarcerated and
you get out, and so many difficulties. You know, not
a driver's license, you know, how can they get around?
I mean, I know there's public transportation, but that just
makes it so difficult.
Speaker 2 (11:34):
So yeah, if you stop and think about it, if
you're relying on public transportation, the bus, per se or uber,
that's cutting into your profit. That's cutting into the money
that you could be making if you had transportations, if
you had a driver's license, right, if you can get out,
And it also limits your mobility. I've got to get
(11:56):
a job on the bus line or take my bicycle
on the bus and ride two miles. And this is
a real example that I'm giving. One individual that we
work with is unable to get a driver's license for
a while now, and he brings his bicycle onto the bus,
he takes the bus to the area where his job
(12:16):
is and then rides two and a half miles to
his job. That's every day at six am.
Speaker 1 (12:23):
Wow. So again, dedication absolutely so in creating hang time,
is there a blueprint for true rehabilitation that goes beyond
what the system currently offers, which not much? And what
are the three most important pillars that you would say.
Speaker 2 (12:45):
Three most important pillars for redemption and turning your life around.
Number one is unchecked undiagnosed trauma. Right, the statistics of
individuals that have been incarcerated in this country are staggering
when you look at the disproportionate obstacles that they face.
(13:10):
And most of it is based and rooted in early
childhood trauma. Yes, and if you're not dealing with early
childhood trauma, then that child grows up to be a
traumatized adult and they and they can survive a lot
of things. And what I've what I've witnessed over the
years we've been doing this now for almost eleven years,
(13:33):
is that sometimes the child is still in there crying
for healing, and the adult is on automatic and they're
moving and they're they're trying to accomplish things. But when
emotions come into play and there's a setback emotionally, that
child and the trauma that has been untreated and unaddressed
(13:55):
comes through loud and clear. And so Pull A Number
one is understanding the the unspoken trauma of individuals who
have been incarcerated. Stop not to even mention the mere
fact that being incarcerated is another major trauma.
Speaker 1 (14:12):
Absolutely right.
Speaker 2 (14:14):
You're living in a cement cage with bars, and you
have a stainless steel toilet as as yours. You know,
these are the kind of things that people overlook if
you haven't been exposed to it at the level that
I've been exposed to. And so number one is the
unaddressed trauma. Number two is, as you said, the systems
(14:35):
design is it's almost designed for a profit system for
the prisons, right And so, uh, there is there is
evidence of certain halfway houses where people come and they're
supposed to be under supervision of parole. Uh and and
(15:00):
before they go one back into the community, they have
to be supervised. And in that supervisory capacity there are
there are folks who are making money off of that,
the the attendance and the residents in the halfway house.
And so if you if you have privatized and you
(15:22):
have a halfway house and you need, you know, to
keep those beds filled, you're going to find a technical
violation on someone he didn't get back. He didn't get
back until eight oh three. He's supposed to be here
at eight. So sorry, you're gonna have to stay here.
This is what I've witnessed. And you know, I can't
speak for everything and everybody, but some of the things
(15:43):
that I've witnessed are just horrific in the sense of
this this feeding of money into a system, and it
further traumatizes individuals and pushed people back into a position
where they're in a corner and they're in a dogfight
for their lives. Right. So the third thing I would
(16:05):
say is abandonment. Right. So oftentimes people have listen, people
have been a pain in the neck in the family.
People have been a pain the neck in the neighborhood. Right.
And while you're wreaking havoc in the family, are wreaking
havoc in the neighborhood. And if you become addicted to
(16:26):
a substance and you drain your family's account and then
you have to have lawyers paying for everything, family's tired
of you. Right, They're at a point where it's like, yo,
you either get your life together or get away from me, right.
And so sometimes it takes years, years and years for
those individuals to get their life together. Meanwhile, the family
has said done right. So, now when this person is
(16:48):
actually on the right track and this is the one
that's going to make a difference and they've got their
life right, the family doesn't believe them because we've been
here before, right, We've heard this before. And when when
when people feel abandoned and they don't have ongoing, continued support.
This is where they they again. I talk about the
(17:09):
emotions of it all. You know, some of the most
emotional people I've ever encountered are people who have come
home from incarceration because it's all built up again untreated trauma,
trauma of prison, traumatize again with the system. These are highly,
highly volatile emotional people. And so I would say that
(17:31):
this level of abandonment is an issue as well, where hey,
I'm here, I'm showing up, I'm really ready to do this,
and no one else that that claims to love me
is here to help me. So that's where hang Time
comes in, because we become that family that people choose.
We're not blood, but if you want family and support
from people who aren't judging you on the moment, on
(17:55):
the day, and it's hard. Don't get me wrong, I
understand that families they've had enough and they can't get
past it. Oftentimes, we at hang Time, we take you
at face value for who you are when you come in.
We don't care what your past is. We don't ask
you what your crime was. Are you ready to turn
your life around? Come on in and meet cousin Johnny,
(18:18):
and meet Uncle Charlie and meet Auntie Michelle. Because that's
what we're gonna do. We're going to try to help
you as if we are your family.
Speaker 1 (18:25):
Wow, that's so great. Do you find that forgiveness plays
a hidden role in second chances? From your perspective, how
does forgiveness of self and from others factor into the
process of reclaiming one's life and speaking of those.
Speaker 2 (18:44):
Emotions, Yeah, forgiveness is a big one. And I'll say this,
and I'm probably gonna upset a lot of people, but
the forgiveness aspect of it has to be there first.
But unfortunately, a lot of time, because people have been
a victim of the system, they can't get to forgiveness
(19:05):
because they're they're they're on this this level of I'm
a victim. I'm a victim, so they don't they don't
even give themselves the chance to give themselves. Hey, I
screwed up. I forget. A lot of people are accountable
to their actions right, and they will take full responsibility.
I messed up. I was doing this right. And that's
(19:27):
something else that the general public isn't aware of. Everyone
thinks that someone who is a criminal is in the
mindset of yeah, I'm going back out here and conquer
the world again. But more often than not, we have
individuals who recognize and acknowledge, yeah, I'm the problem. I
was the problem. But again we talk about all that
(19:47):
that past trauma that led this person to be the problem.
So to your point about forgiveness, I see forgiveness being
one of the hardest challenges. And I tell individuals coming
home first of all, when they come home and they're
living in a halfway house, I say, be fair to yourself, right, said,
(20:08):
a chunk of your life has been removed because of
your actions. But don't think that now you're home and
you're living partially free. The government still owns your name,
right and you're living partly Three, don't be so hard
on yourself and expect that you are going to come
(20:28):
home and be at the same level of your friends
and family members that never went to prison. You're not
going to come home in a short period of time
and be at the same level having your own home,
having it It's going to be a struggle. So be
fair to yourself, right, And that's where the forgiveness comes in.
Be fair to yourself. Understand, we can never reclaim time.
(20:50):
You can never get back that time, So be fear
to yourself and start fresh and new. And it's a
challenge for a lot of the people we work with.
Is the first level for themselves, right right? Wow?
Speaker 1 (21:02):
Being fair? A lot of people that haven't even been
incarcerated are not fair to themselves or can forgive themselves
for minor issues. Hope can sometimes feel abstract at hang time.
Can you recall a time when you saw hope become tangible,
(21:24):
something you could see, feel, and even measure in someone's
life as someone transformed their life.
Speaker 2 (21:31):
Yeah. Absolutely, And at the risk of sounding like a braggadocious,
proud papa, this is this is not something that is
you know, once in a while, we instilled hope in people.
That's that's part of our goal. We instill hoping people.
We put a mirror in front of people and we
want them to see what we see in them. And
(21:53):
a lot of times that phrase has been repeated back
to us. You saw something in me that I didn't see, right.
So one example is there was an individual who used
to come and I met him through a church event
and he showed up at an event that that hangtime
was putting on and we had several churches that were there.
He was a part of a particular church. But he
(22:14):
wasn't a man of God. He was trying to be,
you know. He was trying everything in his power to
stay on the street and narrow path because he came
up in Bridgeport in a rough life, drug dealing, parents
were in and out of prison. He saw trauma, you know,
all of this, and he came and he liked what
we were doing. He saw what we were doing for
(22:34):
the community, and he vowed at that moment he was
going to help, and he did. He stayed to the
end of the event, helped us pack up and everything.
And I turned to him at one point. He's a
big guy, and I said, what is it that you
want out of this life? Right? And he says, yeah,
I don't know. I want me want to you know,
(22:55):
write a book. I mean, I said, okay, I said,
what I'm looking at is a guy who as incredible
work ethic. Right. No one asked you to come here
and do what you're doing. You jumped in because you
saw the need. I said, then that is a leader.
And I broke it down to him and I said,
you have skills. I said, why wouldn't you pursue creating
(23:15):
your own business where you can actually rain those skills
down on other people. And so he thought about it.
He came back at me and he said, yeah, you know,
I don't have the education. I said, well, start something
that you love to do, that you're passionate about, and
it will all work out the way it's supposed to
work out. And lo and behold. I helped him to
get his own LLC through hang Time, and he really
(23:40):
really quickly said, listen, I'm hang Time for life because
I never saw and I didn't have any hope in
being anything more than an employee at someone else's company.
Now I have my own company. And so again that's
one story. The stories are almost endless because there's another
(24:01):
individual who came to hang Time wearing a bracelet, a
monitoring bracelet on his ankle, and his words were he
got tricked to coming there by his uncle. Yeah, And
when he was there, he fell in love with what
we were doing and the positive messaging we were giving.
And he saw other individuals that he knew from the
(24:22):
street that he didn't think were redeemable, and now they
had jobs and they had their own apartment and they
were doing well. So he realized, this is the path
that I should probably take. But before he came, he
had made up his mind. He had just come home
from prison. Yeh, made up his mind, He's got a
hurt and get back out in the street. So he
making up making money selling drugs and get back to
(24:44):
where he was before he got caught. He had already
resigned himself that that's what he was going to do.
But his time two hours in hangtime turned his mindset
around so that he became an employee of ours, and
in that role, I assigned him to working as a
an admin assistant at the US Attorney's Office. Wow program
(25:04):
that I was working there right now, Keep this in mind.
This is a guy who came to us wearing a bracelet,
and now he's going in and out of the US
Attorney's Office, connecticutte and helping others come home in the
re entry program. Right. That was number one. Number two
he stayed with us. He ended up going back to college,
and we paid for a lot of his his fees
(25:31):
to go back to school. Ends up getting magnicum latt
He graduates with a bachelor's degree.
Speaker 1 (25:37):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (25:38):
He now owns his own home, and he's a supervisor
of a huge program in the state of Connecticut. And
his words, not mine, he created, he credits and owes
it to hang Time.
Speaker 1 (25:49):
Oh that is a wonderful story. Wow. That gives me
ghost bumps hearing these stories. How wonderful you've been in
where you could work literally where your work could literally
change the course of someone's life, as in the story
you just told, did the How did you carry the
(26:12):
weight of that responsibility without becoming hardened or cynical?
Speaker 2 (26:19):
Well, who says I hadn't become hardened or No? There
are days when I look in the mirror and go
what am I doing? I'm fighting harder than they are
to keep them on the straight and narrow sometimes, and
that's when I have to step back and go, Okay,
let me reframe my mindset on what I'm dealing with
(26:43):
and what my purpose is. Right, And I said earlier
the way I see the work that we do is
putting a mirror in front of people and saying, Hey,
is this the person you want to be? Who's in
this mirror? And I tell people all the time, every
day you get to redefine yourself. You come home from incarceration.
(27:04):
You get a clear decision in the morning, you know what,
I'm sticking with the path. I'm going to do what
I gotta do today. I don't know, I might not
go to work because I'm feeling like I might fall back.
But you have to be consistent with what you're going
to do. So for me, I recognize if I help
ten individuals a month and only four do well, then
(27:27):
I've accomplished what I said out to. Because you know,
there's this old phrase, I can only lead a horse
to water, right, And so oftentimes people give up on themselves,
no matter what we have to say, up on themselves.
But the beauty of it is where I feel redeemed
and I feel like I don't need to be hardened
and I don't need to be cynical, is because oftentimes
(27:50):
time will go by and they will either hit rock
bottom and come back and say, hey, I didn't realize
what I had here. I need that, or they'll be
successful and come back and go, hey, I just want
you to know you guys put me on the track.
So it may not happen within a short order, but
(28:11):
we've seen over the years. Again, we're almost eleven years
old in November. We've seen people come back and say, hey,
thanks to what you've done, I'm a success.
Speaker 1 (28:21):
That's wonderful. So our culture glorifies success stories, but not
the messy middle And what can communities and individuals do
better to support people who are still in that fragile
middle stage of.
Speaker 2 (28:37):
Change, surround them with positivity and understand their fight. Right. So,
just the other day, I had a man who's very
successful now, but he was incarcerated and he has his
own business now, and he was expressing frustration at listening
to successful people who had never been to prison in
(28:58):
the community talk to young kids on the block and say, hey,
you know, stop selling drugs and you know, go out
here and get a job and get your education, and
you know, you get And his his frustration was, you're
telling this kid this, but you're not giving him anything
(29:18):
tangible to walk away from. So you're not giving him
a job, you're not offering him the training right then
and there, you're not. And so I think ultimately, what
we what we deal with is is the community has
to recognize a lot of young people. Now we'll talk
(29:40):
about the middle age and the older people, but a
lot of the young people. My grandmother used to say,
they don't believe that meets greasy until they get popped
with the grease. Right, you can talk to them all day,
but if you don't relate, if you don't if you
haven't walked in those steps that they're in, they don't
care what you have to say. You know, and this
is a hard, hard thing for older adults to recognize
(30:03):
because we're coming from a good place and we're like, oh,
you know, you're really you can do better, and that
if those young people don't see you as them right
in the future, you're done. You can talk all that
great stuff and now yes ya oh yeah, yeah, and
they'll turn around and go down the block and sell
whatever they're going to sell, right or jump in into
(30:25):
a stolen car because they don't believe in you. They
don't believe that you are the answer to what they're saying.
But to this young man's point where he was talking about,
if you're not offering them something in the moment, you
can talk to you blue in the face. But the
idea to answer your question is what can the community
do is literally have things available before they go into
(30:48):
the circles and say you need to do this better,
or you can't be doing that if you can't point
someone to Hey, there's a training taking place right now.
You've ever been interested in plumbing, you ever been interested,
and there's a training going on right now. Let me
introduce you to Mikey. Mikey runs this training. Hey, I
want you to meet Mikey. Hey, Mikey, this guy's interested.
(31:11):
I just took him off the street and we're talking.
I'm giving him something. I'm showing him now for all
of those people say, well, you know, nobody gave me anything.
You ain't everybody right.
Speaker 1 (31:22):
Exactly, and we need plumbers and electricians, and yeah, we
need all these people.
Speaker 2 (31:30):
You know. The misconception, though, is a lot of times
people throw this thing out, well, you know, not everybody
wants to go to college. There we need, we need,
you know, plumbers and electricians. Whatever. Let me tell you something.
I went to school to be an electrician. You got
to be college level education to get through, you know,
(31:51):
getting this this, this certificate as electrician and an apprenticeship
even a plumber. There's so much math, right, client's involved
with all that. So people throw it around like you
don't have to go to college. You can just go
be a plumber, like as if all they got to
do is put a belt on and start draining toilets.
That's not You still need the academic levels, and that's
(32:12):
where a lot of times in our society we fail
our folks. I've got twenty six, twenty eight year old
young men who read at a seventh grade level at
this level, and as a result, they're frustrated, so they
don't read, and so therefore they don't move forward to education.
That's a failure in our system because no one's riding
that individual.
Speaker 1 (32:33):
Making sure absolutely absolutely. That disheartens me as a previous
reading teacher. If you could gather everyone you've ever worked with, colleagues,
people that you've helped, even those who opposed your ideas
in one room, what single message would you want them
(32:56):
to walk away with?
Speaker 2 (32:59):
Wow? Let me think on through my employees that have
worked for me, Folks that have helped those that those haters.
We get a lot of haters a lot of times
because the nonprofit world is just dog eat dog. You know,
I come from law enforcement world. I ain't never seen
(33:21):
nothing as bad as the nonprofit world, especially in re entry.
They folks that should be working together when there's you know,
a grant thrown on the table, there suddenly at each
other's neck and throat talking. You know, it's just insane
to me. But it's just the culture. It's just what
it is. But I think if I had everyone in
that room, the number one message would be I've survived
(33:48):
ten and a half years I started. I didn't start
out trying to make a program. That's not what I
intended initially. I just wanted to give people that were
come home incarceration at place to be safe, to express
themselves without restriction and respect the process. That's what that's
(34:09):
all this started out is. That's why it's called hangtime.
I just wanted to give individuals a place to hang
out and some time to just be themselves without doc
or you know, family saying you can't say that you
can't do that. So if I had this room, I
would first talk to directly to those people who helped
me create this program, and I would thank them, and
(34:32):
I would say to them, I understand that you came
to me during a time when I was building and
you were vital in the process. I couldn't have done
any of it without the early folks that worked with
me because they came as volunteers when I had no money.
So I would thank them, and I would also say, hey, listen,
(34:53):
I understand that you know, no one stays in the
same place forever, and you had to move on. As
you grow, you move on and you pursue the things.
But I would say, now that we are where we are,
you need to come back and tell your story. That's
to you know, tell your story about what you've witnessed
and how you've overcome and how you've helped. That story
(35:14):
needs to be told, and not by me. It needs
to be told by those that have lived in those
others in the room, that formerly incarcerated, that we've seen
succeed and we've seen some fail. I would say to
them again, be fair to yourself. You know, oftentimes it
takes years for someone to get into a lifestyle, whether
(35:35):
it be good or bad. If it took you four years,
seven years, ten years of your life to amass this
negativity that landed you in jail, be fair to yourself.
It's not going to go away just because today you
said I'm a good guy. Now the people who who
you did dirt to, they don't care that you decided
(35:58):
you're going to be a good guy, they still want
retaliation and we see it all the time, and so
again that makes the struggle. I've got one guy who
came home after you know, doing a murder bid and
he is hell bent on being this great new guy,
but the friends of his victim refuse to allow him
(36:19):
to live a successful life. And so I would say,
be kind to yourself, understand that time. You have to
use time to your advantage. You don't have to be
successful overnight. This is this is one of the problems.
You know, even the street hustler, they want to be
rich overnight. They want what everyone else has overnight. They
(36:42):
don't respect or understand that whatever you get quickly can
be taken away from you just as quickly. And I
would say that to people after doing a raid and
taking their BMW, taking the Mercedes, taking their two hundred
and fifty thousand dollars in cash that they have stuffed
under a bed. You made this money quick, you made
(37:02):
it illegal. It was never yours. So true, So I
would talk about being fair. And then lastly to those
people that we're in that room that were posed or
haters per se, I would I would smile at him
and say, started at the bottom, now we're here, right. Yeah,
(37:24):
And and listen, that's not a cocky thing. It literally
it's literally just Hey, when you when you're when you're
adamant about doing the work for all the right reasons,
you don't fade away. Do you know how many nonprofits
I've seen disappear in eleven years? Started out and people
(37:45):
got to have my own nonprofit, got to have my
own nonprofit, and when they realize there's nothing glorious about
the nonprofit world, then suddenly fade away.
Speaker 1 (37:56):
Wow yeah, wow, Well, when you do the right thing,
it just kind of blossoms into what you've created.
Speaker 2 (38:05):
Absolutely.
Speaker 1 (38:06):
Looking ahead, what's the hope you hold on to tightly,
not just for the justice system, but for humanity as
a whole.
Speaker 2 (38:18):
At the risk of sounding Kumbayash, I hope to be
able to spread the love that we have during hangtime
sessions into communities. And I think we're succeeding at that.
I think we are succeeding at bringing people into a
hangtime session, filling them up with hope and love and
(38:41):
camaraderie and respect for differences. You see, That's that's what
we're doing. One of the rules of hangtime is you
can say whatever you want. You just have to be
respectful of other people's opinions and thoughts. There's no absolute
right or wrong when it comes to your opinion. And
what we do is in that process, not only are
(39:03):
they gaining respect for each other and their opinion, but
they're learning from each other. Right, And they go, well,
I never looked at it that way. You know what,
maybe maybe I've been wrong, and this is something that
needs to be spread throughout the country, especially not you
know what I mean, we are so divided, and what
we do at hang time is we bring people together.
And that's why we call ourselves a family, not a program, right,
(39:26):
And so that you know, in answer to your question,
I think that's something that I would like to see
spread not just statewide, but New England wide. Absolutely, yeah,
the United States wide. And again it takes dedication. Nobody's
(39:48):
getting rich doing it. It's just you're not getting rich
in a nonprofit. And so, you know, I'm fortunate that
I'm in a position where I have a retirement and
people throw it out of my face all the time.
Well you can do. And I'm like I started by
spending my own money. I a would spend three thousand
dollars of our own money every month to feed people.
(40:12):
No one you know what I mean, And now I don't.
Now I get I have people that volunteer and donate
food because we've gotten to that point. I've got fifty
sixty people in a womb every Tuesday in Bridgeport, thirty
forty every other Thursday in new Haven, fifty every off
Thursday from New Haven in Waterbury. That's just same time
(40:35):
we have heard time where we're getting those same numbers.
We have the Connecticut Hall to Change, where we're the
first in the country to do this thing where we
honor individuals that have come home from incarceration and have
dedicated their lives to giving back to the communities that
they once violated. Right now, September fourteenth, we're going to
have our fifth We're celebrating our fifth year anniversary of
(40:58):
the Connecticut Hall of Change. And so far we have
forty individuals that have been inducted into a state museum.
These people are in a state museum for the contributions
they've made to change in their communities to safer and
more resilient neighborhoods and With that being said, when you
(41:19):
talk about real change, connected Hall of Change is all
about that. We have three individuals that went from being
incarcerated to now are in law enforcement. Wow. We have
five individuals that were incarcerated that now have their PhDs.
And so this is the level of change that we're
honoring and highlighting for the world to see. And this
(41:41):
is a program I hope to have spread throughout the
nation so that each year, individuals that are inducted into
the Hall of Change in that state can convene in Washington,
d C. With lawmakers to help change the system for
a better, more efficient way of people transitioning back to community. Wow.
Speaker 1 (42:04):
That's a great way to kind of sum up everything
that you're doing, which is wonderful and I hope that
all comes to be. It would be great to see
a world where people are helping each other.
Speaker 2 (42:18):
That's right today. What you know, the best word about
that is when you come to hang time, we're gonna
put on some theme music and we're gonna watch you dance,
because I know you can dance.
Speaker 1 (42:29):
You just yeah, absolutely.
Speaker 2 (42:32):
I know that's right, Karen, go ahead.
Speaker 1 (42:37):
So today we've heard from Charlie Grady, a man who
has walked the line between justice and compassion and shown
us that true change begins when we dare to see
people for who they can become, not just for what
they have done. His journey reminds us that hope isn't passive.
(42:59):
It's a force that can restore dignity, rebuild trust, and
rewrite lives. If Charlie's story has inspired you today, think
about where you can be a champion of change in
your own community, even in small ways. Sometimes it starts
with listening, sometimes with forgiveness, and sometimes with offering someone
(43:24):
a second chance. Charlie, thank you for sharing your heart
and your mission with us and to our listeners. If
you have a story of resilience, healing, or hope, I'd
love to hear about it, because your journey could be
the light someone needs today. Let's keep Hope alive together
(43:50):
and this program is made possible through the support of
our listeners, friends, and sponsors. If you would like to
make a donation, please click on my and if you
would like to become a sponsor or advertiser, please visit
my website at www dot Karenmarcioni dot com to connect, contribute,
(44:12):
or share your story. Together, Let's keep spreading uplifting conversations
that inspire, heal, and remind us hope is always within reach.
Tune in to all of the inspiring programs on the
Sosradio dot Live beginning at nine am every Sunday. I'm
(44:34):
Karen MARCIONI, Stay well, be hopeful, and until next Sunday
at three pm Eastern Standard Time on Sosradio dot Live
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