The Power of Authenticity & Vulnerability: Part Two

In this powerful continuation of our conversation, host Marleny Cruz and special guest Joseph Pellicci—Coach & Healer—explore the deeper layers of what it truly means to embrace authenticity and vulnerability.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:23):
Masterminded Express Show with your hosts Marlani Cruz.

Speaker 2 (00:29):
Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, welcome to one more episode of
Masterminded Experts with your host mar Lannie Cruz. Like every
single Sunday, thank you so much for joining us today.
Today we have part two of authenticity and vulnerability, the
importance of it right, and to join me, of course,
we have Joseph Pelici again.

Speaker 3 (00:50):
Welcome back, welcome back, Excited to be back. Yes, you know,
it seems like we want to try to fit everything
in as fast as we can, but there's just so
much information.

Speaker 2 (01:03):
Yeah, absolutely so. One thing that I loved about our conversation,
right is how interesting one led one thing led to
the other, and we went really deep. So we wanted
to have a part two of the conversation so we
can go a little more and dissect the topic a
little more. Right, where did we leave off last time?

Speaker 3 (01:25):
Well, when we left off, I was explaining how I
had to I felt that I had to thank my
ex wife because if it wasn't for her to do
everything she did, I wouldn't be who I was today.
And so that kind of brings me back into the
place of perspectives and how we see things in our
lives and how we either allow it to empower us

(01:47):
or to take us into a place of victimhood.

Speaker 2 (01:51):
Yes, that's very important because most people would take a
situation that happened to you, right and place themselves in
the victim role. Right understandably, So it was a difficult
situation and you were in some way, shape or form victimized. However,
taking the victim role leaves you powerless, right and taking

(02:16):
that taking responsibility for what happens to you in such
a way that you didn't have control of what happened,
but you do have control of how you react to
it and how you allow it where you allow it
to take you in life. Right, And I have to
commend you because you took this that happened to you,

(02:38):
and I'm assuming of course you felt the pain, but
you also did made something beautiful out of it, right.

Speaker 3 (02:46):
Yes, Yeah, it was really important for me to example
unconditional love, and I wanted to example that to my children.
In the beginning, my idea was, hey, we're gonna we
don't just give up on the people we love. Through
my journey, it came full circle and understanding that the
only person I needed to give unconditional love to was myself.

(03:07):
So once I did that, it changed everything because I
was no longer coming into conversations or relationships with something
that I needed, but I was coming in with value.

Speaker 2 (03:18):
Wow, that's so powerful when you came in. I was
listening to Jim Ron, and I do a lot of
self educating, right, And Jim Ron, although he's not among us,
yes is Oh my god, I love his teachings. And
he was just saying in the recording that I was
listening to how he used to say before before he learned,

(03:41):
he used to say, I take care of you, and
you take care of me, right, Yes, And then he
changed his philosophy his way of thinking, and he started
to say I will take care of me for you,
and you please take care of you for me.

Speaker 3 (03:57):
Yes. That is so important because when we show up
in the world in that way, we're coming from a
place of wholeness and a place of need. And we're
coming from a place of need. We're really we're not
aware of what's going on in our lives, and we
feel that people are supposed to fit certain roles within
our lives. But what we don't understand is that everybody

(04:19):
doesn't love the same way. Yes, And what we're expecting
from people is we have this idea that if we
give our love in a certain way, that they're going
to give it back in the exact same way. And
when we don't get it back that way, we become
angry and upset and we don't understand why people don't
give us what we're giving them. The truth is not
their job. It's nobody's job to love us. It's our

(04:40):
own job to do that for ourselves. And we only
attract what we give out into the world.

Speaker 2 (04:45):
Oh my god, that is very, very true. Starting with
the premise of the importance of knowing yourself right, in
order for you to truly love yourself, you have to
love your good and your bad right up and you're
down your pain and you know those tears of joyce
was the tears of pain. You have to love the journey.

(05:08):
It's part of life, right, and understanding how when we
understand who we are, when we are coming from a
space of loving the good and the bad in us,
we're able and coming forth to anybody else that we
can give with a full cup right, yes, because we're

(05:29):
not coming expecting you know, you have to love me,
or you have to do this for me. We're coming
to someone else already feeling loved and enough.

Speaker 3 (05:40):
Yeah, I mean it's powerful and I think I I
think went over this last time, and it's always good
to say it again. As so many men that I've
coached and have witnessed, is that they they don't understand
what's really going on when they they go to their
wives and they act in a certain way. They're acting
children and they don't get it like wounded children when

(06:02):
they're they're expecting their wives to show up in a
certain way, and in that moment, women see that as
a very ugly stance. It's just something that looks really
ugly to them because they want to feel like they
can surrender their hearts. And when they're when they're in
their storm and a man is going into the storm
with them thinking what did I do wrong? Did I
say something wrong? What happened this time? They're always taking

(06:25):
it personally, not realizing that maybe it has nothing at
all to do with them, and instead of asking the
question and being more curious. And I mean, it's just
not what's in the normal world, and it's something that
really needs to be taught people need to understand where
people are coming from so that they can start to
have real conversations instead of these places of hurt people

(06:47):
hurting people, and you know how about people heal people? Instead,
how we start to learn how to heal ourselves and
we start to learn how to have deeper conversations with
people by having a better level of understanding. These are
the things that I really feel should be being taught
in schools. Yeah, it should be teaching people what empathy
is and what compassion is, what the differences between men

(07:08):
and women are. So kids don't feel confused or judged
or are they that they're put aside? And so how
do we change things? Love? It's always love, unconditional love,
But it has to start with us first.

Speaker 2 (07:22):
Absolutely, everything you just said is very powerful and very true.
One of the things that I always talk when I'm
talking to youth, right, that I always tell them is
the importance one that we mentioned of knowing yourself, But
two is understanding that the only person in the world

(07:43):
that you have control over is yourself, the only person right,
regardless of what somebody else does, how somebody else reacts,
you are in control of you. And if you don't
know you, You will not know how to react to
these certain scenarios when people hurt you, right because you

(08:06):
said something very key. Most of the time, it's not
even about.

Speaker 3 (08:09):
You, No, it's not.

Speaker 2 (08:11):
It's about them.

Speaker 3 (08:12):
It's not about you.

Speaker 2 (08:13):
Yeah, right, so, and we do take it personal. You know,
most things that people do, their actions, what they're really
telling you is about them.

Speaker 3 (08:25):
Yeah. That's why I always say, like, the one thing
that I would never want to give is advice. Advice
is not something I suggest to give because that's our
perspective of things, that's the way we would do it
for ourselves. It's always better to ask questions and allow
people to find their own truths because they ultimately know
what they need to do. They're just afraid that if
they take that responsibility and fail within it, within the

(08:46):
authenticity of who they really are, then they're truly not
worthy of love. And that place is a scary place
to be because most people who go to that place
they want to take their life.

Speaker 2 (08:56):
Yeah. Yeah, I do one thing. I advise people to
spend some time with themselves alone, right, And that's so important.
A lot of people are afraid to be alone, and
I think it's such a beautiful thing because when you
are alone, you're able to introspect, You're able to go

(09:17):
inward where most of the answers to your life's question,
not everybody else is your own right are and we're
afraid of that right and what that does for you.
It's even though there's opinions, because there will always be
people giving you their opinion, whether you ask for it
or not. Right, But you said something that kind of,

(09:41):
you know, led me to say what I'm going to say. Now.
The importance of opinion that we should give is just
that somebody's perspective, and somebody's perspective is based on what
they went through and how they experienced it and how
what the definition that they put to it. Right, So

(10:02):
it can give us a different perspective. Right, it can
give us a possibility. But it's also very important for
us to understand to see it just as an opinion,
not as a fact.

Speaker 3 (10:15):
Yeah, I mean we live the world through people's opinions.
We just don't realize it are people's ideas of how
they think things work. We just don't realize that we
make it solid, we make it truth and falseness in
the world instead of knowing these things, but we're too
condition into being busy all the time. And the problem
with that is that most people don't even know why
they're busy. They don't know what they're actually working towards.

(10:37):
They're so asleep within their lives they don't even realize it,
and they're living into these ideas of what they think
things are supposed to be for them to be acceptable.
The truth is that if they understood what they were
actually doing, they would start living in their lives more
authentically towards things that really truly inspire them through their
own feelings and needs and creativity. You know, it would

(11:01):
be coming from their heart instead of what they think
is going to make them be good people, or be acceptable,
or just don't realize the game they're playing.

Speaker 2 (11:10):
What do you advise people to be able to connect
more with themselves, be and show up in a more
authentic way. Because one of the things that we mentioned,
I think in the past episode is the reality of
the current world and situation that we're living in. It's
very easy to get distracted today. Just turn on social media,

(11:33):
scroll your life away. Right There's so many things that
are calling and pulling our attention every single moment, and
it could be really difficult for someone that's used to
that noise to come out of it. What would be
some techniques maybe that you have used in your life
that you can recommend.

Speaker 3 (11:54):
Yeah, so there's breathing techniques that I teach, and one
of them specifically is about going into that place of nothingness,
and it's a certain way you breathe, and what you
do is you literally shut off that part of your
brain that is running all the time and just NonStop
telling you that you're not enough. And for myself, just

(12:15):
to give you an example, when I was doing some
deep dives in my own growth, one morning, I woke
up to really pay attention to my thoughts and when
I heard what I was saying to myself, I couldn't
believe it. And it just was because I took a
moment to be silent. Yeah, you know, And when you

(12:36):
take moment to be silent and you understand what's really
going on and what's what's really being said to yourself,
then you can start to make changes. So from there,
I started to really talk to myself differently in the
way that I wake up. When I wake up, the
first thing I tell myself is that I love myself
about a million times that I love and I approve

(12:59):
of myself just the way I am, because in the moment,
in this very moment, I'm the best version of myself
I can possibly be. I can always strive to be better,
I can always strive to learn more, But in this
very moment, I'm the very best version of myself I
could be. Until I start to learn how to own
that and be more present with myself, I'll always be
striving towards that next shiny object. And that doesn't give

(13:22):
us any place of fulfillment or completion or anything. It's
we're always thinking that if we can get to that
next thing, then we'll be good enough. But then when
are we ever good enough?

Speaker 2 (13:33):
Right?

Speaker 3 (13:34):
And so presence. That's why I love women so much,
is because they're so intuitive. They are always asking for
the things that are authentic. The one thing that women
want is presence. But men don't know what presence is.
They think just being there in the house is presence.
I can feel you, but you're not here, Like where
are you? You know you're here in the house, but

(13:54):
I can't feel you. Where are you? Where's your thoughts?
Where are you? Right now, and as men, we're thinking
that we do our job just by putting food, water,
and roof over somebody's outad and putting money in their pocket.
We think that we've done our job, But we really
don't know the depths of things because we've been conditions
for so long to just not feel, not cry, not

(14:15):
do all these things. You're not got to be strong,
You got to pull your pants up and button the
belt and go to work and pull up your bootstraps
and all these things that we've been conditioned into that
are lies. We've disconnected from our emotions, understanding the importance
of them, because it's within our emotions that God speaks.
It's within all those things that he's talking to us.
But we never are quiet enough to listen because we're

(14:37):
trying to keep noise in our heads or noise in
our worlds to not have to face and feel. And
when we just take a moment to be silent and
just feel the emotions, not need to put the story
around it, because the stories are so limiting. They're so limiting,
and we continuously create really really ugly stories for ourselves. Yes,
we want to be able to have people notice us,

(14:58):
and we think that the way they're going to notice
this is by having a really ugly story. Oh wow,
I feel so bad for him. I feel so bad
for her. But how about if we gave people just
a moment to be heard and seen. It really brings
up a story for me one time when I was
dealing with a gentleman who he called me in the

(15:19):
middle of the night and he wanted to take his life,
and I listened to him, which is what most people
don't do, and after the conversation of just hearing him out,
he told me that it was the first time he

(15:40):
felt loved in his whole life.

Speaker 2 (15:42):
Wow. Wow, that's so powerful. I have a similar story
while not mine that I heard. So I am looking
at a video on social media and is this police
officer sharing the story of like he must. The kid
must have been seventeen or eighteen, And the kid calls

(16:04):
nine to one one right, and of course they answer,
what's the emergency, And he says, I don't have an emergency,
but it's my birthday today and I don't have anybody
with me, and I was thinking of killing myself, but
I just wanted to call so I can be heard
by someone. And those things really just the sound of it,

(16:30):
understanding that a human being just want to be heard,
just that it's not even something major or something big
or something impossible that they're asking. They're just asking to
be heard, right, And that speaks about, you know, the
situation that we have in society today. It speaks to

(16:51):
how we're living because we're mirrors, right, yes, and the
reality of the world that the social media world that
is not so social, that is allowing us to live
this fake life. In the meantime, we are home with
our real self and our mirror, not loving ourselves, not
loving who and what we see in the mirror, needing

(17:14):
the acceptance from the world. So therefore you feel like
you have to be somebody that you're not right, And
that's where a huge chunk of society is today. That's
why I'm so happy that we're having this conversation about authenticity,
about vulnerability, just living your true life, you know, feeling

(17:35):
comfortable under your skin in whatever situation you may be
at the moment. Life is still worth living. Yes, still beautiful.

Speaker 3 (17:45):
I mean it's beautiful what you're talking about, because even
what makes me think about is the labels that society
has taught us to put on people yes, and from
the most heinous to the most minimal, people put labels
on things. And it's just this kind constant level of judgment.
Were being so misled in the world in what is

(18:06):
really real, And so people say that they know what
love is, but they're not really they're not really exampling
it at all. They're afraid to lose everything that's in
their life, their kids, their wives, their husbands, whatever it is,
they're afraid to lose it. But everything outside of that
world they judge. And so what they give is they

(18:29):
give to these people like I did. My idea was
if I gave everything to my family, they would know
how much I love them. But I'm not the only
person who does that. We do it all the time.
And we're constantly giving ourselves away, giving our power away,
our light away, our voice away, our truth away, everything away,
thinking that somehow that's going to make it make us

(18:50):
acceptable or give people at least enough to notice us.
But we're never noticing what's right in front of us,
which is ourselves. And so if we lived a life
and we were taught more that way in the world,
just to imagine what it would be like, there would
be no poverty, there would be no hunger, there would
be no murder, no war, there would be nothing like that.

(19:13):
There's this really beautiful book I recommend so many people
to read. It's called I'm losing the word here. The
name of the book is that the one you mentioned communication. Yes,
it's such a beautiful book. Sorry for that, little miss
app but it's called non violent Communication. And this gentleman,
the way that he learned how to communicate with people,

(19:39):
it's such an amazing way. He would literally take African
warlords into a room two different tribes and have them
talk it out, and he would mediate between the two
of them, between the two tribes, and at the end
of some of these conversations, they would have What he
was trying to bring to their awareness was that at
the end of the day, everybody has need, but most

(20:02):
people are giving to other people's needs without honoring their own.

Speaker 2 (20:05):
Oh wow, that's so powerful.

Speaker 3 (20:07):
Yes, And so when we can learn how to honor
somebody's elsees acknowledging them, but at the same time acknowledging
ourselves and our needs, that's a different way of communicating.
And these people would these warlords after they were done.
We're like, man, if we knew how to talk like this,
war wouldn't exist, wouldn't exist. And it's because we have

(20:32):
this idea that it has to be my way or
it has to be your way, you know, or the
highway or the highway. Yeah, Like if I'm Muslim, then
we have to be this way. If I'm Christian, then
it has to be that way. And so you have
wars all the time. And it shouldn't be like that.
People should be able to have the right to believe
and love whatever they want to love. But if we
just knew how to love ourselves, it would be a

(20:53):
different world. Hurting somebody would be as if we were
hurting ourselves.

Speaker 2 (20:58):
That's definitely true that we I think we need to
do more of. When we are a child, we get
our belief systems from our parents, right, what is good?
What is bad? What is religion? What is you know?
What do you support? What causes are you supporting in

(21:19):
your life? Generally speaking, we get these things from our parents,
but we go through life and we never question these things.
We never question our internal compass, which is made up
of the parents, right, the people that raised us. So

(21:39):
one thing that is very important. Look back to your
internal compass. What do you believe in? And why is
this you believing in this right? Or is this your
the voice of your parents right? And there's nothing wrong
with that voice. That was their truth, but that may
not be your truth, right, So one more, one more

(22:01):
reason to look back, to look in to really devote
some time to see what do I support? What causes
do I support? What believe systems? Because our belief system
and our philosophy defines our life right and our path,
you know, extremely important for us to be able to

(22:22):
do that.

Speaker 3 (22:23):
Yeah, I mean it. And that even in itself comes
back to the way that we thought to receive love
or that we thought the you know. To make bring
more clarity to that is, you know, at one moment
in our life, we were little babies and we were
beautiful and we looked great to our parents or whoever
was our parents figure. But eventually we grow up and

(22:45):
we get scolded or we get screened out, we get corrected,
and in those moments as children, obviously we don't learn
through words like I was saying before. We learn through actions.
So we try to figure out what is the action
that we need to do to be able to get
their love back. And that doesn't mean them telling us
that we love them. It's by them physically giving us
a hug or doing something that we feel that we've

(23:07):
gotten the love back. And so we either become the
fixer or the pleaser, or the silent one, or the
yes person that's always says yes to everything, or the
one that gives their voice away or their truth away
or the light away. Whatever it is that we had
to become to get that parent's love back is what
we take on to the rest of our life. Yeah,

(23:28):
and so that game that we play. People don't understand
that we have four dimensions. We have a body, we
have a mind, we have a relationship, we have an environment,
and how we do anything is how we do everything.
So within every aspect of our life, we are playing
that game. We just don't realize that. We think we
only played at home. It is not true. We play
in every single relationship. But the more aware we become

(23:50):
of our game, or the more refinement to our game
that we see within our awareness, we'll start to see
my god, I didn't never realize that doing this everywhere,
And so that's why it's so important to learn how
to love ourselves, because when we do that, the game changes,
everything changes, the way we show up when the world changes.

(24:10):
We start exampling a different, different version of ourselves to
our children. Because we think that we're raising leaders, we
don't realize that we're actually raising followers and fear mongolers.
We don't realize that we're doing it. And so how
do we change the narrative by changing ourselves? Yes, by

(24:31):
changing ourselves? What's the change you want in the world
to become it and just understand the importance of it,
and it just there needs to be more people out
there spreading these kinds of messages and this kind of
wisdom that knows how to get to those places. They're
out there, but we need to all come together and
start spreading this message with a big, big microphone, helping

(24:51):
people to see what they're truly worth. Because we are
all beautiful just the way we are authentically. We do
not need to be anything different for anybody. All we
need to do is learn how to love ourselves authentically.

Speaker 2 (25:05):
Yes, yes, And part of that is being present in
the moment, in the present moment. Right. I'll give you
a quick example. As a parent, I'm a first time mom.
And my daughter is seven years old and we're home
sometimes and I'm very conscious of these things that you're
talking about. So I see how she reacts and what

(25:26):
she does and the thing she does, and I always
tell her, listen, mommy, Mommy is not perfect. Right, So
I have no problem apologizing to her whenever I do
something wrong, because I want her to know not regardless
of somebody being an adult or not, nobody is perfect.

(25:48):
So you should not example everything you see. You should
not follow everything you see. Right. So we got in
this trend of saying what we need to be better at,
and she tells me, Mommy, I know that I need
to be better at my personality. I got to work
on my personality, mommy. Right, yes, yes, So we have

(26:12):
this sincere and honest conversation. And mind you, she's only seven, right.
I think if we begin, if we understand as parents
the importance of those ages, the importance of what you do,
what they see, what they experience, and how they take
that in, then let's guide them a little better through

(26:32):
life understanding that you're not perfect either. Right. You may
make a mistake that you don't want them to emulate. Right,
because at the end of the day, we will make
those mistakes because we're human, Yes, right. So I think
that as parents we have such such power that we
don't even realize in the in the person that we're raising, right,

(26:54):
and how what they and who they amount to be.

Speaker 3 (26:58):
Yeah, I mean, you know, even when you're even when
we're raising our children, were so often like worried about everything,
and when we walk them down the street, like don't
walk hold my hand? All these things right, and we
never give them the ability to know that we trust
them and their leadership within themselves. So how can we
do that more to let them know that we're raising

(27:21):
them to be leaders and to believe in themselves. So
we're constantly telling them that they're not enough. We just
don't realize that we're doing it. We're constantly doing And
I have two boys that I raised as wrestlers, And
so as I started to learn these new things through
my own journey, I realized how often I was telling

(27:42):
them that they weren't enough, even though I thought I
was telling them that they were everything. And it was
in the simplest little things that I would do. And
so I started to really change the way that I
was showing up knowing that I had to be the
example of it first. You know, sometimes we don't remember
certain words for a reason. There was one word that

(28:04):
had a really hard time remembering every time that I
thought about was integrity. And then I realized, why can't
I remember that word? It was because I wasn't showing
integrity for a long time in my life.

Speaker 2 (28:14):
Wow.

Speaker 3 (28:15):
And so I needed to be able to learn how
to do that and be a more live with more integrity.
And if I'm going to tell somebody or suggest somebody
to do something, or think that things should be a
certain way, well then I need to have the willingness
to do it myself.

Speaker 2 (28:31):
Yes. I love Simon Sinek and how he talks about
true leadership and does exactly what he does right, and
he talks about and it's very important for us to
remember that when we're out in the world, how we
are treating ourselves first and foremost, Because we often want

(28:53):
to fix things, fix people, fix the world, fix all this,
but we don't fix this.

Speaker 3 (29:00):
Yeah, we're telling everybody what they need to do, but
we're not willing to do it ourselves.

Speaker 2 (29:04):
Right, you know, And that's the hardest thing to do.
For a human being. It's the hardest thing to do.
Stop looking out and pointing, because these three fingers are
pointing back at you saying, hey, how about you?

Speaker 3 (29:17):
Yes, you know, And that's what That's one of the
things I teach is polarity. It's it's what we're shaming
and blaming others for the things we don't want to
see in ourselves. But when you really go down into
the deepness of that, it's it's really truly because we're
scared to take the responsibility, and so we don't want
to take that responsibility because we have to take it.
Then what's that mean? What if we fail in it?

(29:40):
And then, like I said before, we'll be judged from
a place of authenticity. The truth is that we need
to give ourselves more grace because we're not perfect. Nothing
is perfect. What's perfect to you?

Speaker 2 (29:50):
What does that even mean?

Speaker 3 (29:51):
I mean? And I always like to say, we're perfectly imperfect.
Everything is perfect just the way it is. We're perfect,
just the way we are. Can we strive to be better? Obviously? Obviously?

Speaker 2 (30:01):
And we should.

Speaker 3 (30:02):
But should we you know, should we judge people for falling? No,
we shouldn't. We should ask questions we should we should
start seeing really being more curious and why is the
world the way it is at every end? We need
to become more curious within our world and understand that
if God created all of us, if he created everything
that it exists, and we're just an expression of Him.

(30:24):
So that means that we are God experiencing God, if
you look at it at the deepest depths, that we
all believe in the same God. We might have different
names for our religions, but at the end of the day,
it's the same God, the same conscious within all of us.
So then God's just experiencing God. And so why don't
we become more curious instead of rejecting parts of ourselves.

(30:46):
Because as long as we do that, then we'll have war,
we'll have murder, we'll have rape, we'll have chaos, we'll
have all these things. But it's not until we expose
everything to the world and love it anyways that we
begin to become more a hole in this world.

Speaker 2 (31:02):
Absolutely I agree with that. I have this activity that
I like to do, and it's not for everybody because
it's quite deep. But so I tell somebody, for example,
to close your eyes for a minute and envision the
life around them and the people around them without them.

(31:24):
So subtract yourself. Close your eyes for a minute, and
subtract yourself from the equation. Right, If you subtract yourself
from the equation, you will see the ripple effects of
what it would be or how it could be different
if you weren't around. If I wasn't around, if I

(31:45):
wasn't alive, my daughter wouldn't have been alive, right, Marabellus.
Marabellus wouldn't be impacting the lives that she would be
impacting because I wasn't alive to birth her. Right, if
I wasn't alive. You know, the little things that we
take for granted, right, those little gestures of something that

(32:07):
you may have done that changed somebody's life, for example,
yourself and the stories that you told me about somebody
that called you and they were at the brink of
suicide and they changed their mind. If you weren't alive,
that person would not be alive. Yes, right, And the
domino effect of you being present that we often take

(32:30):
for granted. You know, I think that's so important for
us to kind of have a look at sometimes from
time to time. Yes, you are important, and yes, even
the step that you take outside that day, you put
a smile on your face and somebody seeing you, and
somebody was really depressed, and all of a sudden, your
beautiful smile lit them up. And now they went to

(32:50):
work and change lives. And the ripple effects of things, yes,
that we often miss.

Speaker 3 (32:56):
Yeah, not only the ripple effect, how about they you know,
you look at how people are were put into this
world where you were saying before, we're told that we
need to be perfect, and so people are walking around
with all these regrets and they're trying to force themselves
into this box of perfectness, right, and so when they're

(33:19):
doing that, they're constantly walking around with regrets. And my god,
I walked around with so many regrets. I used to
feel like I couldn't even pick my shoulders up. But
it wasn't until one of my mentors, and I think
I said this before, asked me how I did everything
right if I wanted to know. And I was kind
of upset when he asked me, But when he came
to let me know his answer and told me, it's

(33:43):
because you did everything the way you did it. Because
you did everything the way you did it, you became
exactly who you are today, and the weight of the
world came off my shoulders because I realized that anything
is possible from there. Otherwise I'm I'm still breathing. We
don't have enough gratitude for our breath. We don't have

(34:06):
to tell our bodies to breathe, they just breathe. We
don't have to tell our heart to beat, it just beats.
So whatever is going on inside of us, we're here
for something much bigger than what we think we're here for.
And we can regret all the things that have happened
to our lives. We can hate ourselves for all the
things we may have done in the past, but we
have an opportunity to make a difference. And there's this

(34:27):
little saying of you that we talk about, and it's
called burning the boats to take the island. And I'm
so grateful because God burned all my boats for me.
I have no other way but forward. And my own
belief is is that this body is temporary. It's temporary.

(34:49):
The souls forever, I understand that, But this body is temporary,
and whatever it's meant to do in this world, it's
going to do it. And it's given me a fire,
everything that I've been through, everything that I've done, the
person who I was before, it's given me the fire
to say, there's no other way. I'm going to go forward,
regardless of what anybody says or what anybody does, because

(35:11):
it's just me and God and wherever He's bringing me
is where I'm meant to be always.

Speaker 2 (35:17):
Let's give a little bit of practicality to the conversation
and share maybe some tips, some you know, action points,
some you know goals, whatever it is that maybe you
have worked for you that people can do to get
them in the space of authenticity and vulnerability.

Speaker 3 (35:38):
Yeah. For me, you know, when when my wife first
left it was painful, and being able to have the
breathing techniques and being able to have a tool that
actually I can lean on instead of the old way
of just hoping that it was going to get better
and or maybe just being like, man, I don't want
to wake up tomorrow. This is awful, and how many
of us have been there, right, But being able to

(36:00):
have that tool within the breathing techniques and know exactly
what part of it serves in my experience of life,
and then the importance of support, challenging and accountability, having
an environment of people who support you as your best self,
as the version of you that most people will say

(36:22):
is woo woo. It's important. It's so important for to
have an environment of people who support you no matter
who you are in this world, because it's not meant
to be done alone. It is not. And we're so
misled in this idea that if we can't do it

(36:43):
on our own, that we're not good enough. It's a lie.
It is an absolute lie.

Speaker 2 (36:49):
Yeah, I agree with that. For me, I have this
beautiful activity that I do. I have my sacred space
sor to speak, right, And my sacred space is just
a little corner in my house. It has all the
elements that bring me peace and tranquility and happiness and joy. Right,

(37:12):
nice little candle light and bright lighting, soft music, glass
of wine. I love wine. And I just sit there
with myself right, and I allow myself to feel the pain.
That's one thing that I think that we do. We

(37:34):
run from pain, but I allow myself the space. Okay, pain,
I know you're here, I see you, I feel you,
I understand right, Okay. Then I give myself some time
to feel that pain, and then I give myself some time. Okay,

(37:59):
it is an time pain. Now you've got to go
right and then I just shake it off and continue
and move forward. But that space that I give to
the pain to be able to feel it right, Yeah,
because if we don't feel it, it's going to come
out and from our body, our mind, our you know,

(38:21):
some ailment and some problem and some it's going to
come out in some way, shape or form. Because you've
got to go through it. You can't go above it,
under it, you know, around it. You got to go
through it.

Speaker 3 (38:35):
Is what I tell people all the time is that
when we when we truly suffer, it only lasts for
seconds to minutes. What we're doing is avoiding suffering. There's
a beautiful story I can tell you in my own life. Yeah,
when it came to polarity, which most of humanity is
stuck between the idea of wound something they suffered as
a child, then the polarity of it, shaming and blaming

(38:58):
everybody in the world not wanting to see those things
in themselves, and then stuck. They're always repeating these things
so they feel stuck. They never really go anywhere. And
you hear people say it so often I feel so stuck.
When I first embodied, truly embodied the concept of polarity
was when I brought my own son to college. So

(39:21):
his mom used to always tell me, and there's so
many things that she used to tell me that I
wasn't listening. But she used to tell me all the time,
you invest so much in your boys and our boys,
what are you going to do when they grow up?
What will your life be then? Like your whole You're
investing your whole life in them, like you're not doing
anything for yourself. And I put that aside for so

(39:42):
long because in my mind, I'm like, well, this is
what you're supposed to do as a parent. But she
was telling truth. I just wasn't listening until the day
I actually took him to college, and by then she
was long gone. So I came home after dropping him
off at college and it was just me and my
youngest son, and I remember opening the door and it
was like opening a tomb. It was so dark in there,

(40:04):
and I felt like that love feeling sickness because I
was realizing, Okay, this is my last child now, and
when he goes, I'm going to just be in this
place alone and so for a moment, I got in
my head, because when we're in our head, we're dead.
But then my son fell asleep, and I just talked
to myself and I said, no, no, Joe, you have tools.

(40:26):
You're not going to allow yourself to get stuck in
the story, and you're going to just sit there and
feel the pain. And I did, and when I did,
all of a sudden, I remembered being in college myself,
and I remembered calling home to my father, and it
was really rare for me to be in college. It
was because of wrestling that I got to college, because

(40:48):
my coach helped me go into college. Otherwise there was
no way I was making it into college. So I
was really proud of myself. And I call home to
tell my father, like, hey, I'm learning this, I'm experiencing that.
And his whole thing was why are you there? Why
are you in college? It's stupid. You're wasting your time
and you're wasting your money. And I was like, Okay,

(41:11):
this sucks. And so I realized in that moment, wow,
he felt just the way I feel right now. He
just didn't have the ability to to show up the
way I am. He didn't know how to something inside

(41:32):
of him. Saw his family growing up and leaving, he
realized that all he ever did was work. Maybe I
might not be completely on the money, but I know
that I'm really close, and he was seeing everybody leave,
so he did it in a very unhealthy way to
try to keep everybody around him. And so I went
home eventually, and I had so much anger towards him

(41:52):
because everything that he said would happened didn't happen. But
I was able to have compass and empathy for him
instead of hate and anger because I realized he can
only give what he knew, and that's all he knew.
That's the only way he knew how to do things.
He didn't know any other way, right, But I did

(42:13):
so in that moment, I released him, I released myself,
and I honored my son. And that's a different way
of showing up.

Speaker 2 (42:20):
Oh my god, is it different. Absolutely so powerful. As
as a first time mom, I can't tell you that
oftentimes we as parents, we think that children are they
you know, they belong to us. They don't belong to us.
They have their path just like we do. Right, And

(42:43):
the empty nester thing is real, Yes, it's a real thing,
and of course my daughter's seven, I haven't experienced that yet. However,
I am aware of the fact that she is an
individual person and I am an individual person, and I
need to respect her path, right, I need to respect
her decisions. I need to respect her path. And that's

(43:07):
why it's important for everyone to understand that, yes, they
have their own path, they have their own things that
aside from anybody, apart from anybody in their life, their spouse,
their family, their kids, you need to have and make
sure you hold your own identity right.

Speaker 1 (43:27):
Yea.

Speaker 2 (43:28):
That goes back to the loving yourself right, because at
the end of the day, it will come the time
where she will leave the nest and as she should,
right and make her own family.

Speaker 3 (43:42):
Yeah, and being able to support them and encourage.

Speaker 2 (43:45):
Them and what it is that they love to do, yeah.

Speaker 3 (43:49):
You know, just encourage them. I mean, so many people
go through the world thinking or what I love to
do is really not worth anything, And that's that's a problem.
What if we told them it's worth everything. We have
no idea, Just go out there and do what it
is that you love to do. Everybody has their authentic voice.
We don't know who's looking for us. But unless we
encourage people to do that, we'll never know.

Speaker 2 (44:09):
And encourage people to try right to experience, because at
the end of the day, listen, I went to school
for early childhood, right, and I found my passion by coincidence.
There's no such thing as coincidence. But I found my
passion of communication. And at the end of the day,

(44:29):
you will not know if you don't experience. I wouldn't
have known if I didn't do so many things. Where
is my passion? What do I love? And also every
stage of our lives is different. Yes, the stage of
Marleni when MARLENNI started business, it's not the same Marleni
as you know. It's in front of you now right.

(44:51):
Our lives is in stages as well. So there's no
reason as to why we can't think that our passion
changes or could change depending upon.

Speaker 3 (44:59):
Our st Yeah, I mean, it's just you know, I
don't know. If you ever heard the story of Edison
when he was creating the light bulb and they and
he kept them making little mistakes, and his assistant Kevin
sound Couple throw it away. He says, no, no, keep that
for later, just in case we never know what it
can do, and for myself. When I first started this journey,

(45:19):
I remember I wanted to do things that were really
challenging for me, and so I saw public speaking and
I was like, oh, that's the hardest thing in the
world to do well. I used to write monologues and
do my own acting, but it's not the same when
you're doing public speaking because you're talking authentically. You have
to bring in your authentic story for people to really
connect with you, and you have to.

Speaker 2 (45:37):
Be good in improvisation to improvising exactly.

Speaker 3 (45:42):
But I was like I remember doing I'm like, where
is this going to work? Like almost talking with God,
Like I don't understand what we're going to do with this.
Where are we going with this? And then all these
years later, a friend of mine that we both know, Geo,
he calls me and when I'm on in the middle
of the jungles in Mexico and he asks me if

(46:04):
I'll do this speaking engagement and I'm like, Okay, So
I do it. But little did I know the person
I met winds up becoming my speaking coach. And now
that public speaking thing that I did all those years
ago that I got really good at all sudden, it's
empowering everything that I'm doing. It made everything come full

(46:26):
circle and I'm like, okay, God, now I see. So
we never know and I'm sure that happened with you
as well. Little things that you did. You're like, you realize,
even though it might not be doing that career or
whatever it was, there's little things that you took with
yourself that you still use today.

Speaker 2 (46:40):
Oh. Absolutely, everything you do has the power to power
everything else that you're doing, because the experiences, they don't
go anywhere, right, stays in you, stays in your soul,
in every cell of your body, you know. So it's
interesting because when we are That's one of the reasons
asked to why I have my daughter doing her radio show,

(47:02):
regardless if she ends up in communication or not. The
communication skills that she's building essential for life, yes, right.
The research skills that she's building just to research what
she's going to talk about, essential for life. The bond
that we are creating essential right, So regardless if that's

(47:25):
a path that she wants to take, that is already forming,
you know, having a foundation in her in her life,
So we need to start looking at, you know, the
lived experiences as That's another thing that Jim Rohn says,
invest your past in your present.

Speaker 3 (47:46):
Of course, you can't had away. It's part of you.
And I mean not only what you were speaking about.
What about her creativity and her confidence, Oh, her leadership.
Think about the things that she's building that aren't taught
in school.

Speaker 2 (47:59):
Right.

Speaker 3 (48:00):
These are the things that we really have to help
people with, especially when it comes to our children, teaching
them to be leaders and to have confidence within who
they are. You know, And one thing that comes to
me within that is I was dyslexic, so you know,
I was always told that I wasn't enough and I
wasn't smart enough. Right, But what if we taught people

(48:21):
and into the into their strengths. Imagine that world. What
if we took them and we just found out, what, hey,
what's your strength and we just allowed them to be
creative and figure it out and say, hey, it's okay
to make mistakes. If it doesn't work, we don't know
what part of this might work for later on. Put
it away for now might work, but it's okay. Let's

(48:42):
figure out what else we can do and just really
encourage people to be authentically themselves. Just imagine what that
world will be like when we talk about leadership, right,
leaders aren't people who tell people what to do. Leaders
are people who help people find out what is their
passions are and encourage them within that. If you really
want to build a strong team, you need to allow
people to be who they are. Then you can build

(49:02):
a strong team. But if you're just trying to force
people in the boxes, your team isn't going to work
too well because you're gonna have really upset people who
don't really like what they're doing.

Speaker 2 (49:12):
Right, And which is why we have a world full
of people that are just angry. Right, you walk into
your coffee shop or any any business and oftentimes you'll
find somebody that is feeling miserable. Yes, right, And that
tells me, Okay, you're feeling miserable because you're upset really

(49:34):
with yourself and where you are.

Speaker 3 (49:36):
Right.

Speaker 2 (49:37):
Yes, it's going back to that self. How do you
view yourself? What do you think of yourself? Right? Because
if you loved yourself, regardless of what you have to
do to get yourself to the next step, you'd be happy.

Speaker 3 (49:50):
Yes, one hundred percent. And you mean you know this
is why I always come back to self love and
The importance of it is because we're so misled by
things in the world and this idea that you know,
fitting into a certain role is going to make us happy.
So then the people who don't fit into that role,
where do they fit?

Speaker 2 (50:06):
Right?

Speaker 3 (50:07):
They don't fit into the system? Where do they fit?
And there's a lot more of those people than there
are the ones that fit into the system. And so
how do we How can we do things differently? How
can we do things differently? How does that happen? It
starts at home. It starts at home. It starts with
us loving ourselves and exampling that for our families. And
maybe it's maybe we don't have kids, but when we

(50:29):
have brothers and sisters exampling that, maybe we just have friends.
But if we're just exampling that, not by telling people
what they need to do, because nobody needs to know
what to do, just by exampling it with the way
that we conversate, with the way we show up in
situations where people usually explode, We show up differently, are
taking more responsibility, admitting when we haven't done something that

(50:52):
makes us feel good, coming in that vulnerable state, and
allowing people to say, hey, I have enough courage to
take this mask off and say who I am? You know,
and if we can do that more instead of just
saying I'm good, I'm okay, or making excuses.

Speaker 2 (51:10):
But that to me, that to me is common sense
or should be common sense. Why at the end of
the day, we already know that nobody is perfect. We
already know that we have flaws. We already know that.
So why are we expecting perfection? Why are we expecting

(51:33):
from ourselves and from other people if we already know
that we're flawed. Yes, you know, that's almost common ground.
That's common sense, or should be at the end of
That's why I I'm raising my daughter. I apologize to
her every time I don't show up in the way
that I know I should. Yes, you know, even though
I am the parent, she's the child, she's seven, she

(51:56):
is an individual person that deserves respect. And I'm not
right all the time, as I never will be. Yes,
because I'm a human being, and I have my flaws,
and I have my wrong times, and I have my
downtimes when I'm not so conscious. So we should begin
with that premise right when we are talking to ourselves

(52:20):
and when we're talking to other people when we're showing
up for ourselves and where we're showing up for other people.

Speaker 3 (52:25):
Right, yeah, most important. I mean we don't you know,
we don't. I mean, it's so beautiful that you said that,
because as a kid, when I grew up, people would
tell me why did I do certain things or why
did I talk to a person a certain way they're older,
and I said, they need to respect me too. If
they don't respect me, I don't respect them. And I

(52:47):
always just thought that way, and I used to think
was bad sometimes, like I shouldn't be doing this, But
now when I look back, I'm like, it should be
more more out there like that people should It shouldn't
be this idea because you're younger, you don't get respect,
because then what are we teaching people? This is what
we're conditioning in them. You're not respectful, you don't you

(53:08):
don't deserve respects. So then we grow up and we're
thinking the same way. And if we realize that kids
are like sponges, they're exsorbing all these things, they're saying
that by the time what they're what three or five,
that they've already learned everything they need to learn. So
if we're telling them that they're not enough, and they're
not and they're not smart enough, and we don't trust
them because they're too small to be able to have
this responsibilities of leadership. And what did we just put

(53:31):
into their head? It starts there, It starts there. So
we just conditioned them to think all these things. And
so when they're when we're walking around as adults thinking
that we're not enough, we'll never be this will never
be that, I can never do this, I can never
do that, and and not understanding why our relationships are
toxic and all these things. It's because we've been conditioned
this way. But it's not about shaming and blaming people.

(53:52):
It's about somebody finally standing up and taking the responsibility
to say no more, no more, it's over. This is it.
It ends with me. Somebody has to stand up. And
if we can get enough people to stand up and
say enough it ends with me, then we have a
different world. It doesn't matter who's at the top, what
war's happening, because at the end of the day, it's
us the people that make the difference. They can't force

(54:14):
eight point five billion people to do what they want
them to do. If people just wake up and say hey,
I'm sorry, but no, no more, no more.

Speaker 2 (54:23):
Yeah, I agree. The systems that we have in the
world are a mirror and a product of who we
are at the end of the day. What we're seeing
in the world, you know, the violence that we're seeing,
the separation that we're seeing, all of this is telling
us something is sharing. Well, I like to call data.
Every experience has data to share with you, right, So

(54:46):
what data is this sharing? Is this giving me the
world that I see, the experiences that I experience, even
down to the pain and the sabotage and just self sabotage.
The self sabotage is real people, self sabotage in.

Speaker 3 (55:04):
Them sometimes all the time.

Speaker 2 (55:06):
Lack of self love. Yes, right, that's where it stems from. Right,
So not looking at the outside world, that's them, And
this is me looking at the outside world as a mirror.

Speaker 3 (55:20):
Yes, so important, you know, like self sabotage. My God,
that's such a strong perspective for myself because you know,
I never understood why I did it. But when we
have this certain way of thinking about how we receive love,
our mind is really intelligent to create situations to put
us right back to what I've started, and we don't
understand it, so we think it's us. We think it's

(55:42):
us doing it, But it's some program that's in our
head in the way that we learned how to receive
love that keeps putting us back into this perspective. And
so when we start to understand our game, which is
the most important thing, What is the game that you're playing?
How did you learn how to receive love as a child.
Once you start to answer these questions, it's a game changer,

(56:03):
once you understand how you learn how to receive love
and understand that you're actually playing a game to keep
getting back into these situations so that you can have
the same result, so that you can be back to
that place, because if I'm here, then I'm going to
get love. But then you're like, man, I hate this.
Why am I always here? Why can't I have the
life everybody else is having? Or why can't I have
the life that I want? Because you're playing a game
that you don't even know you're playing, and until you

(56:25):
wake up to realize that you're doing it, you won't
be able to change it. And that's if there's one
thing that I can have, like give to people is
what's the game that you're playing. How did you learn
how to receive love as a child. What was it
that you needed to do? Are you the pleaser? Are
you the fixer or you're the quiet one? What is
it that you do that you think you're going to
get love that way? And when you understand that, now

(56:49):
you can play it differently because you'll understand that, Okay,
I was only doing this to do this one thing.
Is it going to change overnight? No? But is it
going to change over time? Yes, because if you start
taking the small steps that it takes to do that
and having grace for yourself in the in between, to
understand that we're not perfect and we're going to fall,
but let's fall forward.

Speaker 2 (57:11):
Yes. Absolutely. You know one more thing that is very
important and people often don't think about right when they
think about how they act. When you look at the
sequence and the patterns, because there's always a pattern, yes,
always right, whether you are conscious of it or not,
there's always a pattern. When you look at this pattern

(57:32):
and you're able to look back, that's the only time
that I say it's good to look back. Yes, should
never be afraid of looking back, right, afraid of the
past experience? Is how did I react? Why did I
react the way that I've reacted?

Speaker 3 (57:46):
Why?

Speaker 2 (57:46):
Right? Why? Where is that coming from? Where is that
stemming from? Is that me? Or is that my parents? Right?
Is that the residual of the pain of the circumstances
of the situations that I was in and how I reacted?
Or is that truly who I am? Right? Yes, looking
at you know, everything that happens to us and around

(58:09):
us in that from that perspective, maybe subtracting yourself and
looking at things as you were God from above and saying, oh,
I see right, and utilizing the data that this allows
you to have the perspective, the knowledge, the wisdom that
it allows you to have and make changes accordingly, because

(58:30):
at the end of the day, yes we can change,
Yes we can shift, Yes we can alter. You know
what's happening right now? What's happening now, it's actually a
consequence of the actions that you took yesterday. Yes, right,
So what are we doing right now that would formulate

(58:52):
our future or tomorrow? It's always now.

Speaker 3 (58:56):
And even when they say happiness is right in front
of you if you want it, it truly is ish.
But the people are thinking that they're going to get
that happiness from somebody else or something else, and so
that's why they think it's so far away, because they're
striving for it within something else. The love is right
in front of them because it's themselves and doesn't mean

(59:17):
that we're going to not experiment or experience old patterns.
Of course we are because we've been conditioned to it
for so long. But there's this one really cool thing
is we hold twenty generations in our DNA from before us,
literally scientifically proven twenty generations of our past heritage in

(59:41):
our DNA. So some of these things that we're doing
and acting are not even us.

Speaker 2 (59:46):
It's also the survival brain. Right at the end of
the day, we as human beings, how many millions of
years or thousands of years have we survived? We survived
a lot when you look back in history, right, we
are made to survive. However, your brain is always looking

(01:00:08):
for ways to survive. What you were talking about earlier,
you were alluding to you when you do an action right,
or you have a response to something whatever that may be,
that response is your automatic brain saying trying to guard you,
trying to protect you trying to make sure that you

(01:00:31):
survive because at the end of the day, even though
this glass having here is painful for me, I know
that having it there, at least I'm secure. It's not
the unknown, that's that survival brain, right. It's important. We
were talking about it off camera. It's important for us
to understand what do we need to have in place
in our lives in order for us to know tell

(01:00:54):
that brain that we are okay, we're surviving, right, Because
if we don't tell that brain we're okay, we're surviving,
we're going to go back to that survival mechanism, which
is normal in us, right, in order to continue this
life form as a human being, as a species. So

(01:01:14):
it is important for us. Yes we need shelter, It's
important for us to have shelter. Yes we need food.
It's important for us to have food. These necessities have
to be in place in order for our brain to
be able to say, Okay, MARLENI now you'll survive, right.

Speaker 3 (01:01:32):
I see. The one thing for me is words are
super powerful and how we use them. So I like
to reframe everything because when we reframe it, we can
see a different picture.

Speaker 2 (01:01:42):
Absolutely.

Speaker 3 (01:01:43):
So, like if I was to say survive, I would
use the word live. So I start using different words
because I realize that those things touch certain parts of
myself that might bring me back to old places. And
so I start changing my words because I realize the
power and words and the reframing things. I mean, you know,
even when it comes to things like religion, we see

(01:02:05):
we have such a we've been programmed so much that
if we think outside of the box, we're sacrilegious. And
so then what do we do. We're walking around with
blind faith, and we're doing that so often in our lives,
outside of all things, even in society, we're walking around
with this blind faith that something is supposed to take
care of us, the government, the religion, the people, or

(01:02:27):
family or you know. We always have this idea that
something's supposed to take care of us. Somebody's coming to
save us. That's the lie. Nobody coming to save us
at all. And it's not a doom. I'm not saying
anything in doom or gloom, because nobody's coming to save us.
We're already saved because we have ourselves. The miracle is us.

(01:02:48):
We are the miracle, the rarity of existence. If people
understood the rarity of existence. They would have gratitude for
every part of themselves, every single inch of who they are,
they would have gratitude for because if you were to
take away even one inch of us would be erased.

Speaker 2 (01:03:06):
You said something very key I want to kind of
touch on and add to We oftentimes, and this is
very individual for everybody, we have trigger words, right. We
are the ones that give power to the words because
we give definition to those words. Yes, without us, without
us giving the definition, it would be empty. But we

(01:03:30):
give words our energy vibration. Because we give it the vibration,
we give it a meaning. Right, And oftentimes, either in
our youth, for any part of our lives, there's certain
words that were part of maybe a trauma, that were
part of maybe difficult times or whatever it is, that
are trigger points for us. That's another thing that we

(01:03:51):
need to kind of dive into when we're learning about
who we are. What are my trigger points? What are
my trigger words? There are the trigger situations that will
get me back to that old self that I used
to be that I'm not anymore. Yes, because it's always
going to be there. That's a part of what brought you.

Speaker 3 (01:04:11):
Like we said, God us here.

Speaker 2 (01:04:12):
Yeah, right, so it's going to be in your subconscious.
So it's it's very you know, and thank you for
bringing that up, because that's also very important. What are
those words that you were hearing, you know when you
were a child, You're not enough, you're not good enough,
you're all this? What does that mean to you? Can
we rephrase and reframe and reword and change so you

(01:04:34):
change the meaning? That's powerful?

Speaker 3 (01:04:36):
Yeah, so powerful. I mean that goes. I mean there's
such a refinement to that. There are certain things and
I'm sure you've had this experience before. If you smell
a certain thing, or if you're doing a certain thing
or going to a certain place also will bring you
back to a certain moment in your life where you
can literally you're literally there living it. Yes, you're like,
oh my god, every time I do this, I always
remember this moment. Yep. And so the mind is it's powerful.

(01:05:00):
I mean, if they you know, they literally we hold
every memory in our our brain. It's held in us.
We can if we really, if they knew how to
unwind it, we can go back and remember everything in detail.

Speaker 2 (01:05:11):
Absolutely.

Speaker 3 (01:05:12):
So that's why for me, reframing is so important because
it does touch certain vibrations within your body that that
that trigger those old thoughts and those old ways of feeling,
because at the end of the day, it's all about feelings,
and if we're triggering those old feelings, it puts us
into an old vibration. And so it's important to continuously say, Okay, yes,

(01:05:32):
I honor you. I'm grateful that you've gotten me here,
but you're in the back seat. Now I'm the driver.
That's the right thing, and so I'm going to I'm
going to change every aspect of who I am if
I'm going to change, And it brings me to Einstein's
theory of insanity. If we think that we're going to
get a different result by doing the things we've always done,
we're going to get the same result. We're insane. If
we think we're going to get a different result. It's

(01:05:53):
not until we begin to do things differently that we
get the different result. And so that's not just in
one aspect, that's in all aspects. So we have to
understand that this game is going to be very refined
the more that we do it, because that reptilian brain
is going to fight for help to be able to
keep us safe. And so we have to keep rewinding,
to keep reconditioning it, to allow it, to know that

(01:06:14):
it's no longer the boss.

Speaker 2 (01:06:15):
Right.

Speaker 3 (01:06:15):
We are so grateful that if we need it, we
know we have it.

Speaker 2 (01:06:19):
Exactly.

Speaker 3 (01:06:19):
If we need to fight for our lives in a
physical way, we thank you. We know that we're there
and we know exactly what to do, but we don't
need you keeping us protected from things that don't exist anymore.

Speaker 2 (01:06:29):
Absolutely, absolutely, to understand that every part of us is
important and has its space and has its utility. Right,
going back to emotions, there was this movie I forgot
the name of the movie, The Kids Move. It's a
kid's movie. They taught them about emotions.

Speaker 3 (01:06:47):
Oh wow, I wonder what's always that? Not the cartoon
one with the they had anger and they had ye.
Yet that movie is so good. That's the best movie.

Speaker 2 (01:06:55):
Listen for adults and kids. Not only kids, it's good
for adults too, because it allows us to understand how
every emotion that a human can feel is important. It
serves a purpose. There is a purpose for anger. Yes,
there is a purpose for sadness. There is a purpose

(01:07:17):
for every emotion that we can ever feel. Is understanding Okay,
you served your purpose already. Now, like you said, you
take a backseat right now. You come out when I
need you, you know, And it's understanding that and is
giving ourselves grace, like you very well mentioned many times before,

(01:07:37):
you know, when we fall out of grace, you know,
for lack of a better word, because we will. Yeah,
you know that's normal. To expect not to is insane
because at the end of the day, we are not perfect,
and we will never be completely perfect perfect, And what

(01:07:59):
is what is perfect?

Speaker 3 (01:08:00):
To begin to tell me, you're going to have one idea,
how a different idea. Every human being in this world
will have a different idea of what perfect is. So
then that doesn't exist.

Speaker 2 (01:08:08):
And I say that about truth as well, is interesting.
There's very few things we can never say never, you know,
there never nothing is absolute, So there's very few things
in the world that are definite, no questions. Is always

(01:08:31):
going to be this way, no matter what. But my
truth is my truth, and my truth is based on
my experiences, my definition of the experiences, what I made
out of it, the decisions that I made, that what
I've told my mind. That's my truth. Your truth is

(01:08:52):
very different, right, Your truth is based on your experiences
and what you have determined that to be and the
definition you gave that right. So who's to say from
you or I which truth is the truth?

Speaker 3 (01:09:07):
The truth exactly? You know. Not to bring up Einstein again,
but when he talks about the theory of relativity and
he saw the space within a cell and he realized
how much space is in the cell. There's actually a
whole universe within just one cell. He's like, we should
be able to put our hands through everything that exists,
So why aren't we able to? And his theory was

(01:09:28):
because we believe in it so much. So that's pretty
wild when you think about that. That means anything is
possible from that place. Yes, because every time that we
try to put the universe in a box, it doesn't fit.
Because we think we need to understand everything. What doctors do.
They categorize everything this is that, and that is this,
and the things they can't understand they have to try

(01:09:48):
to find a category for it. When they can't, they
go out of their minds. Why do things need to
be categorized? It just still keeps going back to the
same thing. I need to know that I'm enough. I
need to know that I'm enough. I need to know
that I'm worthy and I'm lovable. So this whole thing
that we're chasing, it just always comes back to that.
As we peel away all these layers of the onions,

(01:10:09):
we keep coming back to that same thing. We're running
from the authenticity of who we really are, which is
light and love and light and vibration. So this is it.
If you took away everything that we are and you
just looked at us under a microscope, we are just
light and vibration. That's all we are in a scientific term.

(01:10:30):
So we're literally running from ourselves, ourselves on one hundred percent,
running from ourselves. And once we turn around and face
and feel ourselves everything that we are and learn how
to have appreciation and gratitude for even the darkness, because
it's all necessary. Every part of it is necessary. It
all serves a purpose in its own way. We don't

(01:10:52):
need to understand everything. When we do that, we start
to live in a much more peaceful place. There's this
practice that we would do as coaches, and it was
really it was kind of funny and comical, but we
would do this thing of practicing silence because you know,
and for me, It was really powerful because I would

(01:11:14):
get a lot of venom from my ex wife and
I didn't know how to handle that. And then I
was told to do this practices, just shut up, and
so I did. And what we do is when we
when we when we allow ourselves to be silent, guess
what happens. People feel heard, And when people are throwing
venom at you, they're forced to face themselves.

Speaker 2 (01:11:37):
That right there.

Speaker 3 (01:11:39):
So now all of a sudden, there's nobody talking back
at them because what they're trying to get is proof,
so they can prove what it is that they want
us to say, so they can ultimately escape the responsibility
that they don't want to take responsibility for. So when
we allow the silence, we start to hear the truth,
just like me when I sat there at night and
listened to the feelings I heard my father. And when

(01:12:02):
you sat there and listened to your silence, and you
sat there and you started to just get with the
pain for a moment. It just comes and goes for
a moment and it's gone. You allow it to be
expressed however it wants to be expressed, and it holds
a vibration and the thing that I can tell you
is the pain holds a higher vibration than anything I know.
It's within that uncomfort that we find change. Yes, are

(01:12:25):
we willing to go into it? Are we willing to
have the courage to say no more? I'm going to
face and turn you and feel what it is that
you need to tell me. And from there we don't
need to say anything. We just need to be. That's
all we need to do is just be. Like John
Alena said, just be be. It's so hard to understand
unless you take the moment to just be silent and

(01:12:46):
really invest in who you are. People see that as selfishness.
It's not. It's the highest level of love that you
can give.

Speaker 2 (01:12:56):
Absolutely, that's so beautiful. That's very beautiful. I can't believe
it's been an hour and twelve minutes already. You know,
I love this conversation because it's deep, right, It's not,
you know, superficial like we're going in deep but at
the end of the day, we're also sharing common knowledge. Yes, right,
that we we know we know in our soul, in

(01:13:19):
our in our mind, and our being. We know this.
We just have to remember it.

Speaker 3 (01:13:23):
Well. We're told we're taught to be hushed, Right, don't
talk like that, right, hush. You've got to follow the rules,
because this is how we stay alive. Right, And that's
the problem even as kids. What are we told when
we cry? When we if we're crying, what do we
have to have We have to have a meeting for it?
Why are you crying? What's what? What happened? What if
we just wanted to cry? Right?

Speaker 2 (01:13:45):
Yeah, that's a good point that you're bringing up, because,
for example, with my daughter, I allow her to see
me cry. There's some people that say, no, you know,
children shouldn't see you cry. Why not?

Speaker 3 (01:13:57):
Why not?

Speaker 2 (01:13:58):
Why not? We're living in a world that she is
going to cry at some point in our lives many times, right,
And I need her to see mommy is crying. It
is a little hard on mommy. Mommy's going through different things.
But then I see mommy get back up again and
do it again, right, Yeah, that crying and then coming

(01:14:21):
up and coming back stronger. Yes, it's important for her
to see, right, because she's going to be going through
that one day. That's important for people. You know, don't
fear pain, don't fear to cry, don't fear to be vulnerable.
Don't fear. You just have to know who to be
vulnerable with. That's important too, because not everybody are people

(01:14:44):
that you should be vulnerable with.

Speaker 3 (01:14:45):
And I would say, you know, vulnerability even even if
there are are those people out there that might not
you know, they be looking to take advantage of you
or whatever. But if we're showing vulnerability from a place
of authenticity, it's always going to come back to them
because we're not within that vulnerabilities, you know. We it
can be more questions, or it can be in a
place where people are really forced to face themselves, you know.

(01:15:10):
And so I think when you're showing that vulnerability and
you have enough wisdom, you know how to show up
in that situation. Like there's some people who want to
go to they want to be brought to that higher place,
and so you can see that that that's what they
want and you can see that they're at that point.

(01:15:30):
But then there's some people who just need to be
met where they're at and that's okay as well. But
we need to know who we are in those situations.
And if we know who we are, then we can't
get swayed. We can only be swayed if we don't
know who we are, and so we're in that place
of authenticity and we're in that place of self love.

(01:15:52):
It's very hard to get swayed because you know who
you are. And you know, bringing it back to the
relationships again, how many men get upset because every time
they get upset, their men start to sway with them,
and they're just like, my god, I need a real man.
This guy keeps taking everything personally. How we do anything's
how we do everything. So however, we're showing up in

(01:16:12):
the world. We're showing up there every way and everywhere. Yes,
So it's so important for us to really take that
deep dive within ourself and you know, like you were
saying with the measuring tape, to be able to measure
yourself in the world and know that the world is
your measuring tape. The more that you do that, the
more that you are reframing. You are taking a moment
to silence and think, Hey, what is it that I

(01:16:34):
need to learn right now? What is it not I'm
not seeing? How do I show up in a similar way.
When you're doing that, you're allowing the silence. You're taking
a moment to listen inward and when you do that,
it's happening on the outside as well. So people feel heard,
they feel seen, they feel a different presence. And I
don't know if you're familiar with the Luise, but there's

(01:16:56):
one beautiful thing that she says is her story was
very powerful, and she said, the moment that I began
to love myself, the people that used to come into
my life no longer came into my life because we
only attract what we put out into the world. Yes,
and so the more that we attract those things, and
the more people that we allow to become awakened within

(01:17:18):
their own love within themselves, the more opportunity and chances
we have of this world changing. Because when we can
create that trend of love, authentic, unconditional love in the world,
it will be irresistible for the world not to follow
in that place, irresistible because the possibilities they are there,

(01:17:39):
those possibilities are so different from the ones that we're
experiencing as a human race today. The ones that we're
experienced of human race today, they are not an example
of love. They are the absence of love. Nobody should
be hungered, nobody should be being killed, Nobody should be
being raped, or any utter heinous thing that's happening in
the world. It's just hurt people, hurting people, and repeat

(01:18:00):
eating patterns. It's generational. These things aren't us. We're making
them who we think that we are, but it's not
who we are. The essence of who we are is
light and love.

Speaker 2 (01:18:11):
That's beautiful. That's beautiful. And you know, as we close,
what would be for that person watching that is in
the space right now in their lives that you know
something inside of them is calling them to change, right,
they want to change their life. They're not comfortable where
they are, they're in pain. What would be your words

(01:18:34):
to them? What would be those maybe things that they
can do they can start doing from where they are
to get them out of that space.

Speaker 3 (01:18:46):
Yeah. The first thing, and I don't want to sound cliche,
is that you're enough. You're enough, You're already enough, You're
already everything that you think that you want in your life.
But just to take a moment, like take a moment
and allow yourself to just feel whatever it is that
pain that you're feeling. Don't make a story around it. Oh,
this happened, that happened, That's why I'm feeling this way,
take all the stories away and just put all your

(01:19:09):
focus on the pain, all your focus on the pain,
and just allow yourself to feel it. If you want
to cry, if you want to scream, do it. Scream,
cry into a pillow, whatever you need to do, allow
yourself to feel those emotions because it's so important to
do so instead of running from it or shaming and
blaming somebody for it, just to be able to allow
yourself to be in that silence. And one of the

(01:19:31):
most beautiful things and easiest ways to begin to learn
how to meditate is just focus on the oxygen, the
air coming in and out of your nostrils as you breathe,
and you just allow yourself to let go of all
those things as you just pay attention and put focus
on what wants to be hurt so badly, which is

(01:19:52):
the pain, because on the other side of all of
it is joy.

Speaker 2 (01:19:56):
That's so beautiful. I want, you know, like last week,
I want to take an opportunity to thank you for
joining me in this deep dive, in this conversation. It
has been such a pleasure, right, it really has been
to be able to have this conversation with somebody that
is like minded in the same vibe, sharing knowledge and wisdom,

(01:20:18):
you know, those nuggets for people to take away. Thank
you so much for being a part of it and
co creating with me. I appreciate that.

Speaker 3 (01:20:25):
Thank you. It's an honor for me. Thank you.

Speaker 2 (01:20:27):
Can you share before we leave how people can reach
out to you?

Speaker 3 (01:20:30):
Yes, Instagram, Joseph Joseph Palici, that's Joseph Underscore, Polychi P
E L l I C c I or my email
which is Elite Lifestyle Blueprint at gmail dot com.

Speaker 2 (01:20:43):
That's awesome. Thank you again for joining me, and thank
you ladies and gentlemen for the beautiful journey that we
have been doing for many years now on Masterminded Experts.
I just want to share with you that you we
will be taking a little bit of a break. It's
not a retirement, fully, but MARLENNI has been in front
of camera for fifteen years, so we're gonna take a

(01:21:06):
little bit of break so we can support the SOS team.
You guys have a lot of beautiful and amazing content
to watch here on SOS. I encourage you to look
for the other hosts that we have here on the
network and be inspired by them and definitely do feel
free to reach out to us if you have any questions, comments,

(01:21:28):
or we can support you in any way. Thank you
so much and remember you are enough, right Joseph, Yes,
you are enough. Thank you so much, and we will
see you sometime in the near future with another show.
Thank you for joining me and co creating with me
in this beautiful journey on Masterminded Experts with your host

(01:21:51):
Marlenni Cruz. So next time bye

Speaker 1 (01:22:19):
Masterminded Express Show with your Host Marlennie Cruz.